Ali Dawah - January 21, 2020


8 YR OLDS MARRIAGE TIPS - REACTION VIDEO


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

176.44151

Word count

1,785

Sentence count

142

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Toxicity

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

What are the rules for a successful marriage? You have to find the right person. What are the things to look for in a good husband? What do you have to do as a wife? And what should you do in order to be a good mother to your children?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What are the rules for a successful marriage?
00:00:03.000 You have to find the right person...
00:00:31.000 Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends.
00:00:34.000 Hope you guys are well inshallah.
00:00:36.000 On this specific show, which we have no name for it as usual,
00:00:39.000 we'll be discussing current affairs, a variety of other topics that affect the Muslim Ummah,
00:00:43.000 doubt and other stuff as well in order to nurture our young minds inshallah
00:00:48.000 and get rid of all those misconceptions inshallah.
00:00:51.000 So we're deconstructing false narratives from your mind and reconstructing pure mind inshallah.
00:00:56.000 So we've got an interesting video here today.
00:00:58.000 I came across this very interesting video in a WhatsApp group that I am.
00:01:01.000 Now this is about what to look in a husband.
00:01:04.000 So we've got a young girl here, you know, she looks very cute in the context of, you know,
00:01:09.000 she's dressed up, you know, she looks the part, you know, a young little girl.
00:01:12.000 And we've got an interviewer who's interviewing her.
00:01:14.000 Now we're going to watch this and we're going to come back to how the minds are being polluted,
00:01:19.000 our young minds and divorces are in an epidemic level.
00:01:23.000 And we're going to look at the root causes of this inshallah, 0.99
00:01:25.000 because it ties beautifully to the whole marriage documentary inshallah,
00:01:28.000 which inshallah we're aiming on Valentine's Day next year, February, a couple of months left.
00:01:33.000 And I've got a whole module, a whole program ready to combat this disease.
00:01:37.000 Let's watch it for ourselves inshallah.
00:01:39.000 What are the rules for a successful marriage?
00:01:41.000 You have to find the right person.
00:01:44.000 So far, so good. You have to find the right person, of course.
00:01:49.000 But the question here is, which is very crucial, which I've seen within my marriage search.
00:01:53.000 What do you define as the right person?
00:01:57.000 Let's carry on.
00:01:59.000 Then they have to be very nice to you.
00:02:02.000 That's actually very true. Yes, we all look for.
00:02:05.000 That's a good context to give a definition to.
00:02:07.000 They should be very nice to you, be it the husband or the wife to one another.
00:02:10.000 They should be nice to you. Good. It looks good so far.
00:02:13.000 I have to buy you everything you want, like Gucci.
00:02:17.000 Okay, so it's getting a bit...
00:02:20.000 Okay, so they should buy you Gucci.
00:02:23.000 Okay.
00:02:28.000 Well, he definitely looks...
00:02:29.000 He's thinking, no, forget that, but man can't afford that.
00:02:32.000 Let's watch it still.
00:02:33.000 Louis Vuitton and Prada. 0.99
00:02:37.000 Damn, she even knows those. 0.99
00:02:40.000 And all those big names. 0.99
00:02:43.000 Why is that important?
00:02:45.000 A very, very, very important question.
00:02:48.000 Let's see how she answers.
00:02:50.000 Because you want to spoil your own wife. 0.87
00:02:55.000 True. True. You should spoil your wife to a context, 0.99
00:03:00.000 and the wife should spoil the husband to a specific context. 0.98
00:03:03.000 You know?
00:03:05.000 Okay, okay.
00:03:09.000 What do you have to do as a wife? 1.00
00:03:12.000 Now, this can be asked the other way around.
00:03:14.000 You know, if the young kid...
00:03:15.000 If there was a young boy there,
00:03:17.000 what should you do for the...
00:03:19.000 as a husband, yeah?
00:03:21.000 Yeah?
00:03:22.000 Just...
00:03:23.000 wear the stuff.
00:03:28.000 Now, we can laugh at this.
00:03:30.000 Obviously, it's funny.
00:03:31.000 She's a young girl.
00:03:32.000 Obviously, we're not saying that she's going to have this mentality 0.98
00:03:36.000 when she grows up.
00:03:37.000 Or would she?
00:03:38.000 Now, guys, this is very, very important.
00:03:40.000 I'm just going to make sure that we stay on the Gucci part here, yeah?
00:03:44.000 So, okay, let's just keep that in our mind.
00:03:46.000 Now, we need to understand something.
00:03:48.000 At a young age,
00:03:49.000 if we are teaching our children materialism,
00:03:53.000 things that are temporary fixes,
00:03:56.000 like a drug, yeah?
00:03:57.000 Temporary fix feels amazing, good at that moment in time. 0.99
00:03:59.000 Now you're an addict.
00:04:01.000 It did feel good.
00:04:02.000 It felt amazing.
00:04:03.000 But now, that's just the fun part.
00:04:06.000 And the fun part is in a specific timeframe.
00:04:09.000 And when that timeframe ends,
00:04:10.000 what happens is you start getting used to it.
00:04:12.000 That's the reason why even Instagram now
00:04:15.000 has stopped to show how many people like it.
00:04:18.000 Why?
00:04:19.000 Because people are going for that little satisfaction,
00:04:22.000 this limited satisfaction, yeah?
00:04:26.000 And what is happening is that our young minds are being polluted.
00:04:30.000 And this is where it all starts.
00:04:32.000 When you tell your child
00:04:34.000 that something, what is more valuable
00:04:37.000 or something that you value should be materialism,
00:04:40.000 then that person, when they grow up,
00:04:42.000 is going to think that's what's valuable
00:04:45.000 and that's what makes a house,
00:04:47.000 that's what makes relationships,
00:04:49.000 that's the end goal.
00:04:51.000 And when they achieve that,
00:04:53.000 if they achieve that,
00:04:54.000 and they realize, you know what,
00:04:55.000 that's not happiness,
00:04:56.000 you've actually shattered their dreams.
00:04:58.000 You have given them an inspiration,
00:05:00.000 a goal, something that is materialism,
00:05:03.000 materialistic.
00:05:04.000 And once they reach that and see it doesn't bring them happiness,
00:05:07.000 what happens?
00:05:08.000 Like you have many people,
00:05:09.000 like for example,
00:05:10.000 Smile2Jannah done a video about Brad Pitt.
00:05:12.000 You know, materialism and people,
00:05:15.000 different actors who are on the verge of suicide, etc.
00:05:18.000 You look at these people looking for a bigger goal.
00:05:20.000 Now, here specifically,
00:05:22.000 what we see in the married process,
00:05:24.000 which I've seen for myself,
00:05:25.000 is that people come and say,
00:05:26.000 I want a good person.
00:05:28.000 Okay, what do you mean by that,
00:05:30.000 a good person?
00:05:31.000 I want somebody practicing.
00:05:33.000 Okay, what do you mean by that?
00:05:35.000 And they have their own definition.
00:05:38.000 Yeah?
00:05:39.000 They have their own definition.
00:05:40.000 And when we nurture our children,
00:05:42.000 at a young age to this,
00:05:44.000 we are dooming them to failure.
00:05:47.000 They are on the path,
00:05:48.000 it's like a crash course.
00:05:49.000 Yeah?
00:05:50.000 A crash course is that for example,
00:05:52.000 you know, for example,
00:05:53.000 a plane, it's,
00:05:54.000 if I'm not mistaken,
00:05:55.000 I heard this,
00:05:56.000 I was watching some pilot videos, yeah?
00:05:57.000 That they're on a collision,
00:05:58.000 crash course,
00:05:59.000 collision course, yeah?
00:06:00.000 They're on,
00:06:01.000 they are heading somewhere
00:06:02.000 where they're going to hit the other plane.
00:06:03.000 Yeah?
00:06:04.000 Okay?
00:06:05.000 They're on that verge.
00:06:06.000 And that's exactly what you're doing.
00:06:07.000 And this is the reason why marriages are breaking down. 1.00
00:06:10.000 Why?
00:06:11.000 Okay, obviously,
00:06:12.000 sometimes,
00:06:13.000 you don't get on.
00:06:14.000 That's a different story.
00:06:15.000 But, most of the times,
00:06:16.000 you look at the people,
00:06:18.000 that I've done research on,
00:06:19.000 why marriages have been breaking down? 0.64
00:06:21.000 Because,
00:06:22.000 you're looking for the wrong thing.
00:06:24.000 Our,
00:06:25.000 our sisters and brothers,
00:06:26.000 recently I've done a video of a,
00:06:27.000 one part network of their new,
00:06:29.000 the Muslim lady,
00:06:30.000 show that they started with the sisters.
00:06:31.000 Unfollow certain people,
00:06:32.000 because they are giving you a false expectation of what marriage is.
00:06:36.000 And then you're looking at this and thinking,
00:06:38.000 I want that.
00:06:39.000 That's not real.
00:06:40.000 You want something that does not exist in the real reality,
00:06:44.000 in the world,
00:06:45.000 in our real life.
00:06:46.000 So,
00:06:47.000 you're chasing something,
00:06:48.000 that does not exist.
00:06:49.000 And then when you can't get to it,
00:06:50.000 you get upset.
00:06:51.000 And when you think you've got to it,
00:06:53.000 and you realize,
00:06:54.000 this is actually not true.
00:06:55.000 Like marriage,
00:06:56.000 when you get to marriage,
00:06:57.000 you're like,
00:06:58.000 yo fam,
00:06:59.000 I didn't know it was going to be like this.
00:07:00.000 Why?
00:07:01.000 Because you have been programmed,
00:07:03.000 you're being programmed in your subconscious mind,
00:07:05.000 that,
00:07:06.000 this is how marriage is supposed to be.
00:07:07.000 So when you get married,
00:07:08.000 and you have an argument,
00:07:09.000 or something goes wrong,
00:07:10.000 you're thinking,
00:07:11.000 yo man,
00:07:12.000 I didn't know,
00:07:13.000 and Bollywood.
00:07:14.000 I don't even think we're going to have arguments,
00:07:15.000 etc.
00:07:16.000 You're going to be thinking to yourself,
00:07:18.000 I didn't sign up to this.
00:07:19.000 And that is what's happening.
00:07:20.000 People are scared to get married.
00:07:22.000 Why?
00:07:23.000 Oh my gosh.
00:07:24.000 You know,
00:07:25.000 what if this happens?
00:07:26.000 What if that happens?
00:07:27.000 Why?
00:07:28.000 Because false.
00:07:29.000 And what are you looking for?
00:07:30.000 For example,
00:07:31.000 with the brothers.
00:07:32.000 What are you looking for?
00:07:33.000 A boom ting.
00:07:34.000 Yeah?
00:07:35.000 Why?
00:07:36.000 Because you're looking,
00:07:37.000 you're not lowering your gaze,
00:07:38.000 you're looking at all these fake models,
00:07:39.000 they don't even look how they really look.
00:07:41.000 And when all that makeup comes off,
00:07:43.000 you're going to say,
00:07:44.000 what on earth is that?
00:07:46.000 Yes?
00:07:47.000 Is that an animal or a human?
00:07:48.000 You're going to be thinking like that.
00:07:49.000 Yeah?
00:07:50.000 Why?
00:07:51.000 Because you're having a false perception.
00:07:52.000 And those who watch pornography,
00:07:53.000 you're having a fake reality of intimacy.
00:07:56.000 And then you're looking for that in your wife. 0.98
00:07:58.000 And you're thinking,
00:07:59.000 it's not that exciting,
00:08:00.000 because when I watch...
00:08:01.000 Why?
00:08:02.000 Because you're polluting the fitrah. 0.99
00:08:03.000 The fitrah is so polluted, 0.93
00:08:04.000 that you're giving it this injection,
00:08:06.000 that it's thinking,
00:08:07.000 yeah,
00:08:08.000 I need to get that adrenaline rush when I watch pornography.
00:08:10.000 And when you have an intimacy, 0.60
00:08:11.000 real intimacy with your wife,
00:08:13.000 or husband, vice versa,
00:08:14.000 you're thinking,
00:08:15.000 this is dead.
00:08:16.000 And this is what's causing breaks up in marriages. 1.00
00:08:19.000 And even failure in what you're looking for.
00:08:23.000 And the same goes with a wife. 0.96
00:08:25.000 Yeah?
00:08:26.000 There's this whole thing called hypergamy. 1.00
00:08:28.000 What woman look for in a man? 1.00
00:08:29.000 Status,
00:08:30.000 money,
00:08:31.000 fame.
00:08:32.000 Yeah?
00:08:33.000 And what happens in your head,
00:08:34.000 you're thinking,
00:08:35.000 yeah, you know,
00:08:36.000 my man has to, you know,
00:08:37.000 be like this.
00:08:38.000 You're living a dream.
00:08:39.000 That man doesn't exist.
00:08:40.000 You're looking for a man that doesn't exist.
00:08:41.000 So you're thinking,
00:08:42.000 yeah, I want him to, you know,
00:08:43.000 look this,
00:08:44.000 and it doesn't exist.
00:08:45.000 And then what happens?
00:08:46.000 You wait till you're 24,
00:08:47.000 and 25, and 26, and 28,
00:08:48.000 and then you're not married now.
00:08:49.000 Why?
00:08:50.000 Because I can't find him.
00:08:51.000 Why?
00:08:52.000 Because you're looking for something that doesn't exist.
00:08:53.000 That is the reason why it is so key for us to nurture our youngsters.
00:08:58.000 Brothers and sisters,
00:08:59.000 I may have been quiet for a long time regarding the marriage documentary.
00:09:02.000 The documentary is done,
00:09:04.000 but I cannot release it because I'm preparing a whole module.
00:09:08.000 I'm preparing a whole course,
00:09:10.000 a whole course on how and what to look for in marriage.
00:09:16.000 And I've broken it down,
00:09:17.000 and I'm not coming to you with theory.
00:09:18.000 I'm not coming to you with exams that I passed or failed.
00:09:21.000 I'm not coming to you with anything that is on paper.
00:09:24.000 I'm coming to you guys with real life experience
00:09:28.000 in what I've seen,
00:09:29.000 what I've dealt with,
00:09:30.000 the problems which is facing our youngsters,
00:09:33.000 and why there's an epidemic in divorces. 1.00
00:09:35.000 And I'm doing research on this.
00:09:37.000 And inshallah,
00:09:38.000 February the 14th,
00:09:40.000 not only will the documentary inshallah will be out,
00:09:42.000 but we are preparing a whole paradigm shift for our youngsters.
00:09:46.000 For those who are looking to marry,
00:09:48.000 whichever age you are,
00:09:49.000 it's going to be a game changer.
00:09:51.000 There is not long left.
00:09:53.000 Till then,
00:09:54.000 I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
00:09:56.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
00:09:59.000 We are about to change the whole game
00:10:01.000 on how to find the right person
00:10:03.000 in the right way.
00:10:05.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.