āBLACK MAGIC IN FRIENDS HOUSEā - EP 1 - LETS PLAY A GAME
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 19 minutes
Words per minute
215.33197
Harmful content
Misogyny
20
sentences flagged
Toxicity
6
sentences flagged
Hate speech
85
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, we have our first guest, Sister Naima Abdurrahman B Raheeb, who shares her story of growing up in a religious cult and how she overcame it. She also shares her experience of being targeted by evil eye and how it has affected her in the past.
Transcript
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Have you ever been affected by evil eye? And what does evil eye mean to you?
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Traditional healers would tell people to sexually assault a child.
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What's something you pretend to care about but actually don't?
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Someone that I know who has my number, who I've spoken, who I've done a video with,
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goes public about me, attacks me and then takes the side of an enemy who's ripping the Quran.
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there was a community that i was in that decided that i was a deviant conspired to bring me down
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no i have to be careful no because i don't want to attract the evil eye what's something about
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you that would shock your followers who do you feel secretly competes with you
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outside was cold but we just realized this in naima is minus 70 degrees let's play a game
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assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends welcome
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to the let's play a game podcast brothers and sisters so on this show we have guests from all
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around the world and from all kind of backgrounds cultures and religions the game consists of
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brothers and sisters cards so these cards as you can see are a red card as you can see with the
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heart and the key lock a white card with a question mark a black card with a key and a
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card with an s which is symbolized sadaqah the red cards brothers and sisters are more intimate
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and personal questions that would make our guests a little bit uncomfortable and on the edge the
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white cards are more generic questions panel just to get to know them a bit better the black cards
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are pertaining to the unseen magic evil eye and horror stories which would scare some and the
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sadaqah cards is obviously to encourage our guests to do sadaqah if they feel uncomfortable asking
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one of the questions or answering them they can pick a sadaqah cards which will encourage them to
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help teach people how to pray salah with our charity salah pro embark on this journey with
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with me brothers and sisters it's going to be intriguing exciting and my guests are going to be
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on the edge so now let's play a game we have an amazing esteemed guest which is sister naima b
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robert how are you doing alhamdulillah i'm good so far good good you're always energetic let's
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see how it goes yes yes and i just want to give credit to sister naima because this show we've
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been developing it for about good three four months we put on the back burner and i invited
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her and she's like let's do the let's play a game show that you could be talking about and i thought
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And you know what, sometimes when I put my mind into something
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We got it done just on time and she's our first guest
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Ready as I'll ever be, I think, is what they say
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So basically, I'm going to give you 10 of the red cards
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And I'm going to give you 10 of the white cards
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It's to help teach someone how to pray Salah
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As you know because the show is sponsored by Salah Pro
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And they will pick which one you have to reveal
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While I'm picking the card that you need to answer
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you know this so yeah i'm going to give you 10 of these cards one one two three four five six
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seven eight nine ten all righty well we're waiting on you so so i have to start yes whichever card
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you just put it down to give it to me and i would okay okay interesting
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just a quick break on the podcast brothers sisters as you guys know at salah pro we are
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teaching thousands of people to learn how to pray salah through our one-to-one salah instructors
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through 150,000 mats that we printed in six seven different languages that we distribute to
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dawah tables to prisons to mosques to hospitals to schools and subhanAllah we have our salah hubs
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that we open across the world alhamdulillah we've got the salah pro app and we could not do this
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without Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and thanks to your amazing donations if you would like to teach
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someone to learn how to pray salah brothers sisters go to the link that inshallah 100 pounds
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will teach 20 to 60 people to learn how to pray salah learn surah fatih learn how to do wudu
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inshallah let's get back to the podcast enjoy inshallah but do go and check that link and donate
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whatever you can okay when do you feel the most confident um i would probably say that i feel the
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most confident funnily enough when i'm on stage or when i'm coaching really yeah yeah uh that's
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like my happy place i think public speaking is something i always did really from quite young
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so yeah yeah you know you know i'm the opposite right you know i get this mad nervousness really
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you know i've actually had moments like genuinely i do i do my afkar i do like the the speech of
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musa um but when i go on stage there's it always happens in most of the times i have a moment where
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my mind goes blank and i literally i freeze and then i go um and i'm just there and then i start
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sweating but i genuinely allah always comes to my rescue though it's always like allah comes in
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then i'm like okay i'm back on track yeah or sometimes i just make a joke yeah or i just i
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just i pick on someone in the audience and be like the prophet why are you looking at me like
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that or something like that and it just buys me time right right so that's very interesting so
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that's the most you're confident you need to give me some tips uh yeah um i mean like i said i've
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been doing it for a long time i think it's my personality but the thing another another time
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that i feel most confident when i'm speaking to my dad actually because i think i i know my dad
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very well and we get along really well so now that he's sort of losing his memory slightly
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Yeah, that's because my born name means love in Zulu.
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that's what it means quite frankly all five of my kids wherever we are in whichever country
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if you're in a house in a flat in a car wherever we are if i have all five of my kids together
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that's home mashallah yeah do you have a favorite child no i don't actually and they always ask me
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because each one of them thinks that either they think that they're the favorite or they think
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someone else is the favorite so every one of them if you ask them like who's your mom's favorite
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that said no it's me it's me and i'm like no you're not no you're not uh no i don't have a
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favorite but there are some kids that i get along with better mainly because our personalities
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match more but not because they're my favorite okay yeah that's my answer and i'm sticking to
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it um oh you're going for the red let's see um what do you think of the answer really uh oh
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there you go so sister naima has picked the red card um so she's doing it looks like she's doing
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tell you what it is can i tell you what it is can i tell them i love horror movies oh is it yeah
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i'm actually a horror movie fan really yes what would you say the pros and cons of that because
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let me be honest with you i i stopped watching horror movies in a long time okay there was one
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that i watched that was horrifying i don't know if it's called evil dead 2 or something like that
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okay right it's like this creature goes through like it was yeah it was so scary and i can remember
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i watched it when i was really young it really haunted me but i was the type before i came to
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islam like i would sleep with a duvet yeah and once i stopped watching these movies once i would
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do my i came to islam i never like i've been in situations where like we had an old studio back
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then it was like a haunted house and i used to do uber and i used to get really tired and i have to
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go stay there yeah you know sleep there and subhanallah that fear just left me but so do you
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is there pros and cons to watching horror movies because i believe that that like this is something
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following me something watching me do you know nothing it's a personal thing i don't get scared
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the storytelling is usually well if it's a good horror movie the storytelling is often really
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strong um there are lots of layers to horror movies that people don't expect they think it's
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all about the jump scare or the ball that's not really what it's about a good for me a good horror
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film has layers and layers of meaning layers of symbolism you know easter eggs hidden there i
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like the clever ones okay yes yeah okay like get out for example like get out is a classic i just
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watched it the other day what about soul no that type of thing gore and like that's not so much my
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kind of thing i'll be i'll be honest oh you don't like that i'm not so much into like the gore and
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yeah that's just not really my thing because i find it quite obvious i like scream for example
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scream okay the first one was interesting and it was scary and then afterwards it's like
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dude you're just doing the same thing again and again no i'm not interested in that i like the
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clever ones so does that mean that you're you like the whole unseen jinn magic
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no that is not what it means at all okay let's see okay talking about that yeah speaking of
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which let's get one of these into circulation um so one of the the i'm actually scared to answer
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these ones can i forfeit these ones um yeah yeah yeah you can actually yeah the red or black ones
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you can uh let's see well we want you to answer it since we're talking about horror movies okay
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Because this answer is the question that you asked
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it says do you know any horrifying gene stories oh okay now i need to prepare for this one so i
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don't know i'm not going to say i have horrifying ones well that i know of horrifying ones because
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for me horrifying means to not be in control of your faculties that's horrifying to me i mean
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that's what you see in horror movies isn't it isn't that what happens you get possessed and
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you start to say and do crazy things exorcist and everything but i mean for that to happen in real
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life where somebody is actually not in control of you know for example they hear the quran they
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start convulsing and things like that that's that's really really horrifying so any type of
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you know if i i do know some people who've been affected by it and for me it's just the idea of
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do you know what is the first question you're going to be asked in your kiyama not many people
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know it will be about your salah how your salah was now imagine brahman says alhamdulillah you
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passed that test by answering and hamdulillah your salah was on point but imagine you are
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responsible for other people learning how to pray salah surah fatih learn how to do wudu
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and you help them to pass that test by encouraging them to pray salah or if not teaching them how to
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pray salah that's exactly what we do at salah pro guys this show that we've done let's play a game
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it's not just for the mere game of it or whatever it is the excitement the main purpose is for us
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to do sadaqa and for you guys to invest in where it matters which is your akhira so there is a link
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in the description below a hundred pounds can help teach 20 to 60 people just imagine that 20 to 60
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the people in your maqiyama who will testify that you help them to learn how to pray salah if not
00:16:28.820
encourage them to pray salah enjoy the podcast inshallah and go to the link and donate whatever
00:16:33.340
you can something else is at play something you can't see something you can't touch something you
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can't you know like control that's very scary for me so uh so anytime i hear about that i always you
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know just ask allah to protect me and and my loved ones and everybody all of us subhanallah
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um because it is a huge major affliction and and it's something that can completely like turn your
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life upside down you know uh and i and i've seen it happen to you know people that i know and love
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so i'm afraid i don't have one horrifying jinn story okay not horrifying but do you mind if
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you're comfortable obviously the shows make it a bit uncomfortable it's a game but do you know any
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like what happened with that person you don't need to go into detail of who they are but did
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you see something where he was like super no i've never seen it okay what have you have you heard
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Okay, did you have any supernatural experiences
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you know what it is i think a lot of people want attention i think and sometimes they use it that's
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the reason why they're like oh they're possessed it's that some people want attention genuinely
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and yeah it's it's yeah i see for me the idea of faking that i i guess in my head i think
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if i fake it i'm inviting it you know what i'm saying it's like oh you're playing with fire
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and next thing you know the whole house is burning down so i would i can't imagine
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faking that or or just even just going near those types of things i remember we went
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a sister was telling us some some some issues that she had had with jinn and i i felt so
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uncomfortable i i i couldn't even like i i just wanted to disappear from that conversation because
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i felt like this how can i explain it i felt like this is a person who habitually has stuff with
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jinn and she's talking about the jinn i was like oh the jinn gonna come and then like jump into
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one of us you know and i i just i felt so so uncomfortable and maybe i don't know where it
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comes from but i just yeah it's something that you know sorry it's not related to some kind of
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trauma is it no no i just i just hate that idea i just think it's it's it's it's those horror
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movies sister no horror movies i'm telling you i hate the idea you know what psychologists say
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what they be conscious of the subconscious mind because deep down you know sometimes what they
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mean is be conscious of the subconscious mind sometimes you don't realize but there's things
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you do subconsciously and think subconsciously that you're like why am i doing that it's like
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let's see okay but this is the same type of question as the last one i feel um
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we can change it no no no we don't have to do all of that is it already is it obligatory to
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to swap one out yeah you okay all right so uh okay i'll choose this one
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Why are you telling her to do something she doesn't want to do
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I'm not answering because they're uncomfortable
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yeah yeah okay I'm not gonna look at it for now okay one two it's interesting
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you didn't pick any of the black because you do the black cause you did say you
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don't want to run I think yeah that's okay okay so these four cards you don't
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want to answer yeah I would explain to you these cards a bit more in detail
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later we'll come to them so okay let's go with you okay let's see ah here we go
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okay interesting another white god what's a mistake you keep repeating over committing
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and coming to london okay like oh creating uh more work for myself i keep doing that and every
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time i come i get completely exhausted and everyone i say i'm not doing this again i'm gonna i'm gonna
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not gonna come back for another year and then three months later i'm here you're like me i'm
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like that and sometimes sometimes i enjoy it like i don't know why it might be a bit weird i don't
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know i think it is weird yeah it's like it's like you get this this it's the adrenaline yeah it's
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the adrenaline yeah i get it sometimes i like when i tell people brother can you do this for me
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okay yeah i don't want to say no to them and then bro i've got five people like oh you promised us
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and i'm like man i wish i never said yes so now i used to say listen bro do you look if i say yes
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you don't do you're gonna get upset yeah brother i can't do i'm so sorry yeah you know all right
00:23:37.780
What's something you still haven't moved on from
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my guests on a personal level so i am really excited in that angle so yes i think um
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earlier on in my journey of being a public figure and speaking and teaching and stuff
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um there was a community that i was in that decided that i was a deviant and kind of conspired to
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to bring me down basically yeah so they like boycott me yeah uh it's not a pity thing because
00:24:19.720
people have the right to their own opinions but the fact that and i felt that firstly you know me
00:24:28.500
yeah on a personal level you've known me for years and um i'm not perfect and i'm gonna do
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things that you don't agree with and i'm gonna do things that are wrong as well i'm gonna make
00:24:38.680
mistakes but the fact that none of my friends spoke to me about it and kind of just this this
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thing this this kind of intervention took place and nobody has spoken to me about it up until
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this day i don't trust those sisters and we will never be friends the way that we were again so
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yeah that's that's so sad you know because people it's so sad you know but it's allah has made it
00:25:02.520
like that where to remind us if you think about it genuinely no one's there for you except allah
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But I think when it's people you know personally
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i've said some things that my friends don't agree with right and sometimes it will be a mistake
00:27:10.640
sometimes we genuinely disagree and that's fine um but the i have so much love and respect for
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my friends who will come and say to me you know that thing that you did or that thing that you
00:27:20.640
said like what's up like what's going on with that like why did you do that or i disagree with that
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or i don't think you should do any shows with ali dawa anymore you know like that that that's
00:27:29.020
you need to implement that okay wonderful so yeah that's that's that's the truth of that and that's
00:27:35.440
good you know you know why that's good because you know why like if we write each other off with
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we can never work with anyone do you get i'm trying to say i have mistakes do you get i'm
00:27:41.880
trying to say and i i'm open to naseer you know but to write off people and be like he's done no
00:27:46.640
good and it's it's not fair you know we should be more graceful towards one another yeah in my
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country they say if you share a tea with a person it has 40 years of remembrance or something like
00:27:55.100
that oh that's yeah like like you know don't forget those good times so how do you think we
00:28:00.060
because i i think when it comes to like people that you see in the public eye there's no way
00:28:06.160
you can know their intention yes but for many of us we know each other a bit more personally than
00:28:10.400
just oh it's someone online yeah so i i don't know i feel like you can tell when someone's sincere
00:28:16.840
you can when you meet them and you you talk and and you know like you can tell when people are
00:28:21.360
putting on an act or like trying to get something exactly and that's what i'll be honest with you
00:28:25.840
like genuinely like with me my philosophy like in life in the senses where like i try to be the best
00:28:32.480
i can to anyone and sometimes people come and say to me bro you need to act you need to behave a bit
00:28:36.320
more like ali dawa you're not i'm like what do you mean by behave like ali dawa what does that mean
00:28:39.480
like i've had that like usually like come to me he's like bro you just act like you're just some
00:28:42.820
just any guy on the road okay and i said okay what do you want me to act like what do you want to do
00:29:17.620
myself is that selfish no it makes sense because you only have control over yourself exactly i
00:29:21.780
can't control anybody else exactly so my job is did i treat you right did my to my best mobility
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that's your responsibility exactly did i order you iskender iskender came there you go i'm joking
00:29:33.300
all right ready for the next one next one yes sister okay another white question
00:29:41.300
who do you trust the most in your life allah easy easy come on light work easy answer and
00:29:47.460
do i have to say more than that yes give you some tafsir yeah um how did you come to be like that
00:29:55.460
tell us how it come to the point where he's like my tawakul is only allah why i i don't know how i
00:30:00.740
was before i lost my my uh late husband um i'm not really sure i'm sure i had you know i was
00:30:09.300
a believer but i think after or during the time when my late husband was in that coma
00:30:14.980
when i feel like i truly um surrendered to his will and to his plan because it's one of those
00:30:21.940
situations you have no control it could go anyway he could wake up tomorrow he could wake up and
00:30:27.460
have brain damage which was one of the uh the prognoses uh he could stay in a coma for the
00:30:32.100
next six months or six years you know anything could happen so literally it was like yarab you
00:30:38.920
chose this for me this is not a very usual situation um if you chose it for me i know that
00:30:45.000
you've got my back and that it's going to be okay it may not and i don't know how it will look but
00:30:49.400
i know it's going to be okay so throughout ever since that time you know through the ups and the
00:30:54.820
downs through the great decisions that i've made and the bad decisions that i've made i have managed
00:31:01.420
i trust that allah has a plan for me and i trust in his plan for me you know um and i and i and i
00:31:08.360
can only ask him to be my wali to to protect me to guide me it is only him and he puts people in
00:31:16.360
my way and he gives me opportunities and he you know whatever it is i have of good it is from him
00:31:21.440
so yeah that's my wali this is a quick ad break if you are watching this podcast just for the
00:31:26.080
entertainment just carry on watching skip this video because this is for those who are genuinely
00:31:29.600
want to invest in the akhira so that on your maqiyama they can enter jannah without any
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00:31:33.680
recognition brothers and sisters allah says in the quran you are busy with the world dfs yes it
00:31:41.980
might be this podcast whatever there's nothing wrong with the handle it's pertaining to the deen
00:31:44.680
until you visit the graves the money the car everything that you own is going to disappear
00:31:49.260
your husband is going to marry another woman your wife is going to marry another man your children
1.00
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are going to move on your mother is going to laugh when they make a joke when you've passed away
00:31:58.160
because this is human nature the only one that's been there for you before you was born to the day
00:32:03.000
you was born when you spent your life when you enter that grave when you are resurrected when
00:32:07.660
you are questioned until you enter jannah is nobody but allah if you are to occupy trying
00:32:11.900
to prove other people rather than trying to prove yourself to allah i would say brothers
00:32:15.700
sisters donate inshallah in helping people to learn how to pray salah this is exactly what we
00:32:20.340
do this salah project that we have guys we teach people how to do wudu how to pray salah and even
00:32:25.140
teach them the quran surah fatia a hundred pounds can teach anywhere from 20 to 60 people to learn
00:34:27.000
uh yeah okay she's having trips instead of burger okay okay
00:34:35.760
it's interesting i'll get the audience like i'll just read it yeah exactly no i'm gonna read to
00:34:41.000
myself okay what's something you'd never want to change about your life oh my family and my friends
00:34:49.260
absolutely yes my family my friends my kids my sister my dad that side of the family and
00:35:26.480
ago but everybody else i've known for like 10 20 years sometimes from childhood um so yeah i'm not
00:35:32.980
so great with making new friends i mean it takes a lot of time and openness and i think when you
00:35:39.020
have a public persona yeah a lot of the time people will invite you due to that public persona
00:35:45.880
which means that you kind of have to be the public persona yes you can't necessarily be
00:35:51.900
yourself or like relax or be vulnerable with sisters that's kind of you know with amongst
00:35:56.680
women that's kind of how we how we bond and i don't really feel comfortable uh doing that if
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someone's like brought me in as sister naima yeah i'm gonna be sister naima yeah yeah you know and
00:36:06.560
then that's what it's gonna be yeah right so yeah yeah yeah okay yeah cool uh i don't know about this
00:36:12.640
one i don't know how to answer this go to the gin one go to the gin
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um okay oh okay there you go okay okay so we've got the unseen cards have you or anyone in your
00:36:29.140
family found black magic in your house wow uh i have not alhamdulillah but i do know uh i have
00:36:36.600
i have a friend who has really yeah how did she tell you how she told me she told me spun on how
00:36:41.980
yeah what do you mean like like like like where how like did she just well she didn't give me
1.00
00:36:45.980
like a house tour or anything but she found evidence that somebody had done you know those
00:36:50.960
tying knots and everything like that yeah was it at tawhiz yeah as far as i know as far as i remember
00:36:56.860
did she open it i don't know i'm just asking i'm curious i don't know i don't know i don't know
00:37:01.620
i don't know so she just found three knots listen ali i already told you once you tell me it's gin
00:37:05.520
i'm like okay sis i'm gonna make dua for you like i'm not digging into the details of it but yeah
00:37:18.220
Bro, that means there must be someone that you know
00:37:24.960
Where I remember I was sitting with some ladies for lunch
00:37:39.440
that it's very common malawi zimbabwe maybe south africa as well to do magic to get a man
00:37:44.460
to get someone's man yeah yeah to get someone's man yes yes yes to get a man kind of it's not we
00:37:50.100
don't call it juju but it's it's that type of magic um oh my gosh yeah like spells i put in
00:37:55.520
malawi people talk about someone doing a spell on you when they're going to sell you something
0.98
00:37:59.680
and they do like a spell on you and you end up giving them like all your money and stuff like
00:38:03.340
that wow i mean of course it's all things that people talk about that this happens and this
00:38:08.680
happens but i think that there's usually like a basis for that kind of thing yeah morocco all
00:38:15.240
of those places they've got deep deep like superstitious and magical roots um you know
00:38:22.040
in the folklore in the culture and stuff like that and people still use it to today that's
00:38:26.300
actually because in our culture we have something like my mom used to do it and i told her not to
00:38:31.360
do it yeah it's like you know turkish coffee yeah in a small cup yeah you drink it turn it around
00:38:37.460
yeah and then let's settle or whatever actually i can remember once in before i came to islam one of
00:38:42.340
them got me to put my thumb in it okay and i'll take my thumb out yeah and they'll say oh yeah
00:38:45.700
we see a i don't know a donkey and it means you're gonna get married in two years like reading yeah
00:38:49.380
like reading tea leaves yeah so they'll read them like oh can you see there's a a creature there
00:38:53.460
with a forehead or something like that subhanallah so so it's and they say they have a saying they
00:38:58.100
say don't believe in it but don't go without it oh meaning don't believe it but don't go without
00:39:36.380
of it happening in the muslim community in the uk is it muslims doing this i know there's everybody
0.99
00:39:40.680
this in this case it wasn't muslims but it's you know in malawi they might be muslim they might not
00:39:45.240
be muslim it's not the point the point is people feel like there are forces you know sort of other
00:39:51.360
outside forces that they can harness in order to get what they want oh in zimbabwe we have a lot
00:39:56.280
of that stuff like there was a time when because hiv was a big deal in zimbabwe for a long time
00:40:01.780
not so much now but it really was like an epidemic and so the traditional healers would tell people
00:40:08.780
to go and basically uh sexually assault a child or an infant in order to cure themselves uh they
0.60
00:40:16.720
harvest organs and you know to in order to get money and like you know to be had to be blessed
00:40:21.620
with wealth it's a lot of that stuff happens yeah all right here you go yes okay
00:40:25.640
okay oh okay oh this okay yes yes yes we have to talk about marriage on the show
00:40:34.620
yes okay this is interesting i i um how long did it take you to get married and tell us
00:40:39.980
the struggles and yes it wasn't really that much struggles because it was when i first became
00:40:46.080
muslim um that was way back 26 years ago or so and we were around a lot of other new muslims or
00:40:53.020
kind of returnees so like that was the topic of conversation it's marriage marriage how to find
00:40:57.420
someone to find someone i think i was in the searching phase for about three to six months
00:41:03.740
and i had a few meetings and then i met uh the father of my kids and then that was that was the
00:41:08.460
end of that alhamdulillah so it wasn't very long for me can i go into specifics sure not too much
00:41:13.980
um how did you meet uh we were introduced by a friend actually somebody who grew up with him
00:41:20.700
up in northwest london who i was at university with so he was like you know what are you actually
00:41:24.780
looking for so i was like well i would read like an african brother you know obviously someone who's
00:41:28.540
who's practicing he's like well i know brother he's you know really cool he's been married he's
00:41:32.300
been muslim for two years i think you guys would really get along and then we basically we swapped
00:41:37.100
numbers we spoke on the phone and then we met at regent's park mosque with my wally oh wow yeah so
00:41:41.420
this was in london yeah oh wow okay so you i became muslim here okay so you live in zimbabwe
00:41:47.020
you came here for university yeah so i became muslim in my second year of uni
00:41:51.980
okay i want to know a bit about that as well okay so where was your first impression when you saw him
00:41:56.780
this man is for me he was it was exactly that because we had already spoken on the phone and
00:42:00.540
we just like we'd like a house on fire and when i saw him i was like yeah that's that's that's
00:42:05.980
that's my one i'll have that okay what's okay what is one quality you look in a man you're
00:42:12.220
like this quality has to be in this man or my my future husband you're not talking about
00:42:24.740
That must be in a man physically or a woman
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00:42:43.280
okay i'll be a bit careful okay but what i'll say is this i mean i like a woman that has a long hair
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00:42:50.940
that's fine but just because you say you like someone with long hair doesn't mean you won't
00:42:55.500
like someone who doesn't have long hair no no i would say that would you okay fair enough like
00:43:01.160
it depends how short if it's like i i'm not personally attracted to really sure but if she
00:43:04.160
has short hair she can grow it like it's not for me i'm sorry i don't have time to wait i'm an
00:43:08.200
ah no i'm an auntie so like in my stage of life yes you know i just think that it's it's a tad
00:43:14.940
shallow to say i need a man who looks like this because true but also just looks true but also
00:43:21.500
bear in mind you might be saying this now because the thing is i'm saying it now because i'm old
00:43:26.220
you're not old yes i am okay i'm in my auntie era that's why i'm saying that when i was young
00:43:30.940
i didn't used to say that thank you so so we have to be fair here so what i'm saying is this
00:43:34.660
you need to understand as men as well to marry a woman that you're attracted to help you lower
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00:43:38.200
your gaze but uh wait a minute attraction is not the same as they have to look a particular way
00:43:43.600
okay because you can be attracted to someone who's not your type not your normal type i'm sure people
00:43:47.980
have had that experience before if maybe not but if that's yeah you can you can find someone
00:43:52.820
attractive if they're not as tall as you normally want or they don't have the kind of hair you
00:43:57.560
normally want but hey you know what they're still attractive and i think with women even though
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00:44:01.440
not going to get started on this conversation but i think that you started with the question
00:44:05.360
attractiveness is not purely based on the way someone looks but the way that a man actually
00:44:10.880
makes you feel when you speak to him and stuff it can increase the attraction so that's important
00:44:14.880
because as a woman for you that's important you know because you're emotional and you like you
00:44:18.720
know nice words he can't help himself yeah what's wrong with that there's nothing wrong with it
00:44:23.360
what's wrong with that okay um what's the one quality that for me i would say that one of the
00:44:27.680
quality that i look for in a woman is gratitude yes having gratitude being contenting alhamdulillah
0.65
00:44:33.760
you know it reminds me of the story of ibrahim when he came to his son's house and said how's
00:44:37.440
it going said oh we don't have nothing we're struggling but i said tell my son when it comes
00:44:40.960
to change his gait or something on those lines and he said look your dad came today he said this and
00:44:44.800
he said he told me to divorce you yeah and then he came back and his wife said you know alhamdulillah
00:44:48.720
whatever we have is good yeah i think that's such a beautiful quality in a woman to be grateful in
00:46:21.020
was to sacrifice a child rather no the first thing he had to sacrifice was internally to accept that
00:46:27.260
he's going to sacrifice child for the sake of allah and allah replaced it with something better
00:46:31.060
are you ready to sacrifice this dunya for the akhira brothers and sisters there is a link there
0.99
00:46:35.460
that you can help teach 20 to 60 people just for a hundred pounds to learn how to pray salah to
00:46:40.680
learn swara fatih to learn wudu and every time they do those actions it is on your deeds the
00:46:46.500
link is there donate whatever you can inshallah what's the worst thing you've done out of peer
00:46:51.080
pressure and yes yeah yes uh i would probably say that when i was young sneaking out
00:46:58.220
oh to go partying yeah oh okay yeah okay so you're you're you're
00:47:03.760
okay enough to elaborate on that really okay you know because i mean that's we had friends who did
00:47:09.860
that and that was just like so unnecessary so dangerous so just who's more lenient your mom
00:47:16.000
or your dad no they were both strict really yeah we didn't have a second is your mom i mean your
00:47:21.320
dad a muslim no oh no he's not no yeah but neither of them were neither of them were neither of them
0.99
00:47:27.960
were lenient they were both strict yeah we didn't have like good cop bad cop let's do bad cops uh
00:47:33.860
but yeah i think yeah no i was a very very uh unfortunately i was a very naughty teenager and
00:47:38.400
that was due to the group that i was with yeah that's what you pick your friends yes same yes
00:48:14.040
to was like oh wow she was like my kid's granny and she was just there for us so so so much
00:48:18.840
especially around the the time of my late husband's passing and um alhamdulillah we had the means and
00:48:25.000
she didn't own her place yet so alhamdulillah we bought it for her wow may allah bless you i mean
00:48:32.680
slowly coming to the end of the show let's play we still got something okay all right
00:48:38.600
okay what's a mistake you keep repeating in relationships i think if i'm honest
00:48:48.840
i think it is maybe not giving enough um yeah not giving enough and maybe i won't say taking
00:49:01.080
too much because i don't necessarily ask a lot either but i feel like i i would like to be a
00:49:07.720
more giving person within my relationships within my friends and my family no I give them all the
00:49:13.180
time but with friends especially um yeah I think I think I think I think it's a mistake you know
00:49:19.160
like when you don't reach out to people and you don't check on them um you know you can go for
00:49:24.200
like weeks or months without like just giving someone a ring and you know just having a chat
00:49:28.380
I think that that's yeah I think my the way that I use my time is so focused on like work and and
00:49:34.460
and kind of my life i think that's a mistake because if something was to happen to one of
00:49:39.180
my friends and things happen right things happen all the time yeah when if something was to happen
00:49:44.480
to your friend where you could no longer speak to them you would feel like i wish i had made more of
00:49:49.540
an effort you know i wish i had let them firstly not let them know how much they mean to me find
00:49:54.540
out how they are what's going on with them because i think that that's one of the things that you
00:49:59.140
know a lot of certainly sisters feel is that everyone's just in their own lives you know and
00:50:04.820
everyone's busy with their own lives no one's got time for you very few people will just give you a
00:50:09.660
call and say how's things going like let's catch up you know so i think that that's that's the
00:50:13.940
mistake just one mistake that i feel that i'm making and i'll always rest if you don't mind
00:50:17.700
me asking please choose not to and this question did your husband late husband does it come to
00:50:24.440
your mind like um i think i've said before that i just i do wish i had been a more attentive wife
00:50:30.360
i think i was a good wife and we we had a good relationship we got along very well and we were
00:50:35.400
happy as a couple but i do think i could have pushed myself more in terms of just like making
00:50:41.480
sure that his needs were prioritized and that's why that's when i i say to sisters like you know
00:50:45.980
while you have what you have you know don't take it for granted because it's so easy to do that
00:50:50.400
just to take whoever whether it's your spouse whatever spouse you know husband or wife uh to
00:50:55.260
take them for granted and just assume that they'll always be there and that you'll get to them later
00:50:58.480
you'll get to them later that's what i was going to ask that what would be one advice you'll give
00:51:01.400
a sister like let's say they're having a little bit of issues at home like what advice would you
1.00
00:51:06.000
give because obviously you've lost your husband may i love mercy on him what advice would you give
00:51:09.220
to that sister who's watching this who might be going through some little difficult situation
00:51:12.340
testing trials with her husband yeah um you know obviously nothing i think it's just like your
00:51:17.320
normal yeah no the the advice i give sisters and brothers is always like just focus on the good
00:51:24.360
in your relationship in your spouse focus on the good be grateful for the good like feed into the
00:51:30.660
good because whatever you focus on is what will grow you know and there is none there not a single
00:51:35.700
one of us has zero mistakes uh zero bad habits none of us even the ones who are getting annoyed
00:51:41.840
we have our own bad habits right so so focusing on the good being grateful for the hair pouring
00:51:48.080
your energy into that will actually make you feel better about the relationship actually make you
00:51:52.820
feel better towards your spouse so that's probably something you may want to do if you intend to stay
00:51:58.220
married right because if you are pouring into the bad things and focusing on the things that are not
00:52:03.880
working and things that are not there eventually you're going to start disliking this person and
00:52:08.660
for a woman once she starts to dislike disrespect or feel disdain for her husband is not good yeah
00:52:16.160
that's that's that's bad that's a bad situation because um it's hard to come back from that yeah
00:52:23.100
and one of the reasons it's hard to come back is because it was created by her in the first place
00:52:28.120
you see not that it didn't exist yes but because you've kind of almost talked yourself into
00:53:08.320
By looking at someone's good rather than their dad
00:53:10.160
Even Allah says in the Quran you might hear something about
00:53:25.460
And when people hear this they think oh increase me in money
00:53:27.480
No Allah doesn't say it, it can be that if you're gratitude
00:56:29.080
that's just really like do you think do you think you know sometimes i ask myself ask myself this
00:56:33.440
question yeah like and you've mentioned this as well but why is there so much emphasis on the
00:56:39.060
husband so our fact checker has let us know that this hadith is actually considered weak by hadith
00:56:44.800
scholars and the actual you look happy about that do you know what it's regardless it still
00:56:51.820
is burned in my brain from whenever i read it um but you know it's yeah it's just i think yeah
00:56:57.440
that was that was a hard and i think i think those are difficult when i'll be honest when did you
00:57:01.940
long time ago how did you feel in that moment when you heard this just because i think it must
00:57:06.220
have been in the context of other hadith related to the rights of the husband another one that's
00:57:10.740
difficult to be honest is um that if your husband calls you to to lay with him and you refuse the
00:57:17.040
angels curse you till the morning um i think that those types of hadith are difficult for many many
00:57:23.460
women to to kind of come to terms with because our understanding of of our relationship with
0.98
00:57:29.440
our husbands is is maybe different to that and and and it's kind of scary it's kind of scary so
00:57:35.220
you may accept it but it's it may be one of those things that's difficult to kind of put into
00:57:38.860
practice in a way that's healthy so yeah and i think if you probably put this question out you
00:57:43.680
may find maybe more of your female guests yeah it is and that's why i really want to like cater
1.00
00:57:48.040
for them in like understanding because sometimes what happens is they think of the the father
00:59:18.760
but the one I'm going to mention in this session
00:59:21.800
is Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichia.
00:59:29.640
about the time when the Igbo people wanted to separate
00:59:43.400
Is there any other book that you recommend to read?
00:59:48.760
also a literary author and she has some beautiful books about sudanese people in sudan and also in
00:59:56.120
uh in in the west as well mashallah and she's got a beautiful writing voice alhamdulillah
01:00:00.360
um so yeah she's another person i would recommend perfect yeah okay so now you want to do something
01:00:05.640
with these yeah so these cards that you don't want to answer we have a little catch for you here um
01:00:10.840
you need to reveal one okay um you can well let me put it like this i will be revealing one
01:00:18.840
okay to put it if you don't want me to reveal one or i choose which one you can call one of
01:00:24.020
your friends no um don't want to call a friend yeah no problem so you prefer me so so trust me
01:00:29.380
more than the friend yes that's not about trust you're just gonna pick up at random aren't you
01:00:32.640
so no no no no okay it's fine then okay okay no problem she's got her friends he's like if
01:00:37.680
watching this now yeah okay let me see i'm gonna be cold as ice what because he picks it does that
01:00:47.280
mean that i have to answer it no no he's just gonna reveal your question oh okay and people
01:00:52.400
gonna think oh why didn't you answer i'll answer it then okay yeah i'm cold but not this cold
01:01:01.440
he's reading and thinking did i really come up with these questions i'm saying i'm cold as i
01:01:09.960
who came up with this question let me say i the most powerful thing in islam is the shahada and
01:01:14.120
the second pillar of islam is what to pray salah and it's been told to every single prophet to
01:01:19.200
establish salah so much so the only revelation that was revealed that it didn't come down that
01:01:24.360
rather the process had to go up and the angel gable couldn't even go for a barrier was the
0.94
01:01:29.320
salah imagine the reward of not only just praying yourself but encouraging other people for
01:01:34.700
generations to come to learn how to pray salah a simple 100 pounds can teach 20 to 60 people
01:01:40.120
to do wudu to pray salah and learn surah fatih you can add this into your sadaqah jariah that
01:01:45.400
keeps on going when you will not be here anymore go to the link and donate now now this one i can't
01:01:50.860
do this to you because i respect you a lot and i can't do that to you i'm gonna have mercy i'm so
01:03:52.700
you know it's you get one chance you know and um if you mess up you mess up and you got to deal
01:03:59.540
with the consequences of that you know i mean when i look at my life and i think of if i had the
01:04:04.660
chance for a do-over there would be so many things right i'm sure the same with everybody it's so
01:04:09.760
many things that you would do differently you would show up differently you wouldn't have said
01:04:12.760
that you wouldn't have done this um and whether that's with your spouse or your kids or your
01:04:17.100
parents or your colleagues whatever I think that's the hardest lesson is that you have to live with
01:04:23.000
the consequences of your actions at the end of the day that's interesting you know why because if you
01:04:26.700
was to go back and do something different you won't be who you are today I don't know my friend
01:04:30.980
my friend Ali always says that she's like yeah you may see it as a mistake but that's what you
01:04:34.840
needed to go through to be who you are today and where you are today I don't know I feel a bit like
01:04:40.300
that's copium like it's like just a coping strategy which makes you feel good but just
01:04:45.920
because that does make you feel good doesn't mean it's not true because genuinely it doesn't make
01:04:49.680
you who you are i'll be honest with you yes if i went back would i change but if changing that
01:04:52.960
would have made me worse today no no let it be my my daughter asked me mom do you wish that daddy
01:04:58.320
didn't pass away you know do you wish daddy was still here and if he was still here would we be
01:05:02.960
living in zimbabwe with this with this with this and of course our lives would be so so different
01:05:07.760
and of course i'm grateful for who i am today and what i get to do today but i am also aware that if
01:05:13.200
he had not passed away i wouldn't be where i am today you know what i'm saying so but i can i
01:05:18.000
really say no it's better he passed away so i could be who i was today no let me go back to being his
01:05:22.080
wife and being a kept woman and us living as a whole family do you know what i mean obviously
01:05:26.960
that wasn't a choice but look at it from like subhanallah if the question was asked to him
01:05:31.520
subhan if you think about it like inshallah you know it's in jannah like and that reunion because
01:05:36.400
you know allah has a plan like we we look at it from the the the world where in the 10 20 30 years
01:07:09.840
Was there a reason that person wanted to do that
01:07:37.560
favoritism now yeah like i'm so sorry this white card is turned into a red card oh you don't you
01:07:42.520
don't need to answer if you want to pick a sadaqa card uh do you want to go with i think i'll pick
01:07:46.280
a sadaqa card yes for the sake of the sadaqa card and also because i i love all my friends and i
01:07:51.480
can't say any of them is my best friend allah says you might hate something which is good for you
01:07:55.480
look allah gave a solution now with a sadaqa you want to pick randomly anywhere
01:08:01.720
let me do it for you okay go ahead you pick that one this one yeah okay bismillah so i'll
01:08:11.720
But we get our guests to do a righteous deed by supporting our charity.
01:10:32.140
so can i just pick random yep you can take the whole batch oh i can pick three okay
01:10:41.020
oh my gosh that's so good no uh oh these are so good how many can i ask him no one
01:10:50.220
no come on make it three this is gonna be so juicy okay okay okay no no no okay no you can
01:10:55.260
ask me you can ask me two but i have a chance i have a chance to go okay one no it's these two
01:11:00.940
so what do you want to do take them both and then forgo one so can i read them or are you
01:11:05.180
going to read them choose choose the one that you want and then you can read out the one i can't
01:11:09.820
believe this whose idea was this so good and you have to answer honestly okay um which one are you
01:11:22.140
going to forgo or which one are you going to answer do i have to read out no can i do two
01:11:28.220
two sadaqad no you have to answer okay all right so here's a quick two questions when did you last
01:11:34.400
do something you knew you'd regret who do you feel secretly competes with you this one i don't want
01:11:42.860
to answer i don't want this who do you feel secretly competes with you it's okay you're
01:11:50.500
not going to say anything just put it down so you don't get yourself into trouble yeah i don't want
01:11:54.480
to answer this because i don't want to hurt some anyone's feelings yeah i just gotta okay when did
01:11:59.880
you last do something you knew you'd regret when did i do something like i did intentionally yeah
01:12:06.440
knowing i regret yeah but i'm not that kind of guy please please i'm a lovely guy let's be honest in
01:12:13.440
life come on now when have i done something intentionally that i would regret even i can
01:12:18.840
answer this question really yes i can but you can start first and then i will say what i think
01:12:23.500
the whole thing with the the the that was not i would not say that's intentional that was wrong
01:12:28.700
the eyelashes wasn't intentional oh like if you do you mean that for example i said it out of anger
01:12:35.980
okay if that yeah yeah i would go straight if that's what you mean yeah if you mean i calculated
01:12:40.640
and i said i'm going to do on purpose to hurt that person i would say i was angry at what they
01:12:45.000
were calling towards no no just yes yes something you did that yeah that 100 i fully regret because
01:14:15.580
when did you feel undeserving of love and tell me why you find it difficult to answer this
01:14:23.980
I think bismillah um you seem like you're getting a bit emotional I think for people who are
01:14:34.920
generally kind of confident and self-assured um moments of self-doubt are not comfortable
01:14:40.800
right and but we all have them we all have those low moments sometimes it's an estrogen low
01:14:48.180
other times it's related to other things um and and you almost can feel yourself going there to
01:14:56.280
that dark place where you know nobody will will ever see me or or love me or i don't deserve love
01:15:03.380
you know i'm not a lovable person you know i'm a bad person you know i'm not worthy you know those
01:15:08.160
types of of thoughts or feelings uh i think people think that some people never have those
01:15:12.840
um but we do and um it doesn't matter what you achieve in the world it doesn't matter what you
01:15:19.340
achieve in front of people even just around you um there will be times when you will you know
01:15:24.300
call into question you know whether you are who people think that you are you know whether you
01:15:30.080
are worthy of people's respect or love or whatever so i think my honest answer to that question is
01:15:37.000
whenever a relationship falters or fails in that dip afterwards there is often a low moment where
01:15:44.920
you're like you know i'm a i'm a failure you know i'm a failure um i can't i can't do this you know
01:15:51.340
i'm not worthy of of someone's time or this or that or that or that so yeah that's what i think
01:15:57.000
interesting i do i do get that thought as well sometimes i do get that thought as well well
01:16:02.020
sister name it's been absolutely a pleasure it's been amazing thanks for taking part you're our
01:16:06.140
first guest not only that you inspired us to get the show on track so i want to thank you for that
01:16:11.240
for being here and thank you for encouraging me even though simple words of you know let's just
01:16:15.560
do that show um you kick-started alhamdulillah and i ask allah that anyone that benefits from
01:16:19.840
the show um and my guests future guests not come on inshallah you get a portion of that reward
01:16:24.260
inshallah and may allah bless you for the sadaqa that you're going to do with your friends six
01:16:27.400
friends inshallah my six best friends forgive me so this so yes these are my six best friends so
01:17:31.700
And if you're curious why she's picking the red cards
01:17:47.960
The good thing is I don't know who the next guest is going to be
01:17:52.640
That's fine, they will remember you when I tell them who it is
01:18:27.820
and what's something you pretend to care about but actually don't and that's the one i want you
01:18:35.800
to ask them i thought outside was cold but we just realized this in naima is minus 70 degrees
01:18:40.860
so our next guest this question is for you inshallah yes so next time from let's play a game
01:18:46.340
would you not want to be a part of teaching someone how to do sajda how to do ruku how to
01:18:53.280
do wudu how to recite surah fatia surah ikhlas imagine all of that a person living for 20 30
01:19:00.240
40 years all on your scales it only takes a simple click of the link guys a hundred pounds
01:19:04.700
can teach 20 to 60 people to learn all of these inshallah and for generations to come
01:19:08.800
you get the sadi khajari go to the link and donate now