Ali Dawah - June 30, 2017


DIVORCED FOR BEING DIVORCED ｜｜ MUFTI MENK


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

166.02946

Word count

1,187

Sentence count

107

Harmful content

Misogyny

4

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Jummah Kutbahaykah on divorced sisters and how they are treated within the ummah. Why is it that those who are divorced are looked down upon? What does it mean to be a divorced sister in the modern era?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 This topic, finally, I think we've got some time for this, inshallah.
00:00:28.300 It was a topic that I wanted to discuss today anyway, but I received a message from a sister.
00:00:34.920 And she said, obviously, she was getting to know this brother for marriage.
00:00:38.380 Everything was going well until the family found out that she is a divorced sister.
00:00:44.060 Now, this is a big, big problem within the ummah.
00:00:47.260 Sisters who are divorced are being looked down upon, like, I'm not even going to mention anything, in a very disgusting way. 0.94
00:00:55.460 And they're human beings, and we get these messages, and the sister's saying, what am I supposed to do?
00:00:59.920 I got married, it didn't work out, khadr of Allah. 1.00
00:01:02.820 But what am I going to do? I'm being rejected.
00:01:05.320 Just because I'm divorced, they actually, they said, look, we don't want to know you.
00:01:10.720 They totally cut off the sister just because she's divorced. 1.00
00:01:13.900 If you can give us, obviously, answer, inshallah, and give us an example of the time of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,
00:01:18.280 how the Sahaba married, divorced sisters, et cetera.
00:01:21.540 If you can really tackle this issue, please.
00:01:23.320 Brother Ali, you've actually touched a chord.
00:01:25.980 The reason is, I don't need to give you an example of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, companions.
00:01:32.840 Can you guys hear us?
00:01:34.420 Can you hear me?
00:01:36.180 Okay, sorry.
00:01:36.820 I forgot.
00:01:37.000 I don't need to give you an example of the companions when I can talk about the Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, himself.
00:01:43.100 And I hope the families will be listening to this.
00:01:45.440 And like I say, we haven't mentioned names, so the benefit will be to thousands of people.
00:01:51.280 And before I say this, sometimes when I tweet or when I write something, when I put up a post on Facebook and so on,
00:01:56.920 people say, it's like you knew what I was going through.
00:02:00.020 No, I didn't.
00:02:00.900 I'm just being a real human being, that's all.
00:02:03.040 I know what I'm going through.
00:02:04.100 That's what it is.
00:02:04.760 And I know what a few people are going through.
00:02:06.500 So everyone goes through similar things because we're all human beings.
00:02:09.760 You have a house, you eat a few times a day, you go out, you earn, etc, etc.
00:02:13.340 Let's get back to what you were saying.
00:02:15.960 Muhammad, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and I'm addressing those who treat divorced women badly,
00:02:22.200 or those who look down upon them, or those who don't want to marry them just because they are divorced.
00:02:28.660 Who did he marry? 0.88
00:02:31.160 Himself.
00:02:31.500 Number one, the woman he chose, and he agreed to marry, and he had his children with, and he loved, and he continued to say,
00:02:44.620 even after she passed away, that you know what, I miss her.
00:02:47.140 And he used to be kind to her relatives, even after she passed away, was Khadija bint Khuwaylid radiallahu anha.
00:02:55.280 She was divorced.
00:02:58.740 She was married before.
00:03:00.540 There are narrations that actually make mention of two men, that she was married to one after the other.
00:03:06.120 And some say, one.
00:03:07.920 That's besides the point.
00:03:08.940 But what's confirmed is, she was not a virgin, so to speak.
00:03:14.180 She was married before.
00:03:16.160 The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, agreed. 0.63
00:03:18.120 She was much older.
00:03:19.160 The Prophet, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, agreed. 0.63
00:03:21.200 Subhanallah.
00:03:22.220 Why would he do that?
00:03:24.260 Thereafter, all his wives were either widows or divorced.
00:03:28.620 All of them, besides Aisha radiallahu anha. 0.73
00:03:31.460 The only one.
00:03:33.260 Why?
00:03:33.600 I think that answers the question.
00:03:36.200 The ignorance of these people regarding their own Prophet, the one whom they declare their entry into Islam with,
00:03:44.860 in terms of the statement,
00:03:46.160 Ashadu anna muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluhu.
00:03:49.000 They don't even know who is that muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluhu, sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
00:03:53.660 They haven't even, they probably know he was married to so and so, but they've never paused to think about it.
00:03:58.900 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for all those who are divorced to marry again. 0.83
00:04:05.360 Don't give up.
00:04:06.360 Don't give up.
00:04:06.840 There are some good guys out there, inshaAllah.
00:04:09.300 Quite a few of them, I see them here this afternoon, mashallah.
00:04:12.200 And the other way as well, if you've had a bad experience, my brothers, it doesn't mean it's the end of the world.
00:04:19.580 You can get up and inshaAllah you can get married by the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
00:04:23.740 Similarly, we make dua that those who are not married at all, you know, you might be thinking you've forgotten us.
00:04:28.560 No, we haven't.
00:04:29.440 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala assist you and guide you.
00:04:32.180 The point we're raising here is don't judge people.
00:04:35.920 Don't think they were bad just because they're divorced.
00:04:38.400 And one more thing, when they're divorced, you are bound to hear rumors.
00:04:44.600 We live in an age of WhatsApp.
00:04:46.800 Have you come across that?
00:04:48.800 If you live in the age of WhatsApp, you can imagine what's happening all day and all night.
00:04:54.520 People are just saying things and they're just, you know, forwarding anything and everything.
00:05:00.860 We love gossip.
00:05:02.220 Let's be honest.
00:05:03.220 We love it.
00:05:04.040 We actually cause the spreading of gossip just by forwarding messages.
00:05:10.620 This is why I said in a few days ago when I was speaking somewhere else that you know what you need to do?
00:05:15.860 Delete the message and reply the person to say, please don't send me this type of gossip again.
00:05:20.720 But you are bound to hear bad things because everyone wants to prove a point.
00:05:25.180 I've seen a few people who are so good that after the divorce, when you ask them what went wrong,
00:05:30.420 they say that was between me and her.
00:05:32.360 And you know what?
00:05:32.920 She's the mother of my children.
00:05:34.060 I don't want to say anything bad.
00:05:35.300 It's okay.
00:05:36.380 She's a lovely person and we didn't get along.
00:05:39.300 Wallahi, that man or that woman deserves the mercy of Allah because they are being merciful upon someone else.
00:05:47.380 So be careful when you've been through a divorce.
00:05:49.640 And I know now it's about 60% of marriages end up in divorce.
00:05:53.500 That's the statistic that I last read.
00:05:55.740 And in the Maldives, they said it was 90%.
00:05:58.100 May Allah forgive us.
00:05:59.580 But I do know that's happening.
00:06:01.900 Be careful.
00:06:02.460 Don't try and prove who was right and wrong.
00:06:04.660 That's it.
00:06:05.280 Leave it. 0.95
00:06:06.160 And if you really need to tell someone because you're now getting married again, people say, can I ask you what went wrong?
00:06:11.980 You have the right to remain silent and to say, listen, trust me or it's okay.
00:06:16.020 I don't need to marry you.
00:06:16.820 Or you want to say, you know what?
00:06:18.460 Really, this went wrong and that went wrong.
00:06:20.020 The sad reality is things would actually become even worse.
00:06:23.820 May Allah forgive us.
00:06:24.840 I'm so sorry to take so long to answer.
00:06:27.080 May Allah bless you.
00:06:33.120 That's it.
00:06:33.640 We're finished.
00:06:34.080 I think we can leave now.
00:06:36.860 Salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
00:06:40.940 I want the same treatment, please.
00:06:42.440 Next time.
00:06:42.840 Hey, give me one.
00:07:00.060 Thanks, honey.
00:07:01.660 Subscribe.
00:07:03.040 Woohoo.
00:07:03.400 Woohoo.
00:07:06.560 Shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop, shoop.