Ali Dawah - DO MEN WANT CAREER (BOSS BABE) WIVES？

00:00:00.000 but what would you what would you suggest to somebody okay for for the 11 years that i've

00:00:04.880 been muslim trying to get married not being able to get married been actively pursuing it

00:00:09.360 what would you have suggested a woman like that does staff no like i think a secure man can handle

00:00:16.360 that oh she has a career uh she can't be feminine exactly i don't think people yeah i don't think

00:00:22.200 men necessarily think like that but nor are we having a discussion that entails sisters can't

00:00:27.520 have a career it's coming across that way i'm listening to you guys yeah so just clarifying

00:00:31.380 personally in my circle of friends and this is amongst practicing sisters not so practicing

00:00:37.200 sisters um anybody who is married has a good husband he earns not even loads of money but just

00:00:43.640 enough to pay for everything they need she doesn't want to work she's happy bro she is happy

00:00:48.720 girls we're not talking about what you're talking about we're talking about this set of girls yes

00:00:52.700 these boss babes these feminists let me ask the question let's come from where do you think

00:00:57.140 they come from would i hoover the house yes wash the dishes yes um i don't know name whatever you

00:01:04.980 want okay no no no no let me finish yeah i will do that if i want to i wish i could find men

00:01:12.320 that actually thought like that because to be honest majority of men want women to work today

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00:01:33.700 need your support this donation will be a sadaqah jari for you because every person that comes a step

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00:01:42.960 and donate what you can assalamualaikum warahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters and dear

00:01:46.540 friends welcome to the bitter truth show where we're here we're talking about truths but what

00:01:49.860 kind of truths bitter truths the bitter ones that you don't like but it's the truth uh brothers

00:01:54.320 sisters if you want to be on the panel be it sisters or brothers and by the way we are open

00:01:59.520 to anybody subhanallah even if you're a non-muslim um even if you're wearing the hijab or not you

00:02:03.460 know as long as you know um everyone's covered decently both for men and women of course so you can

00:02:08.300 apply because some people are like oh you know do i have to look like this or whatever

00:02:10.980 so you can apply for the panel if you have questions nasir based i'm going through this in

00:02:15.000 my marriage or i'm a single brother or a sister looking to get married or whatever it may be

00:02:18.360 you can send those questions in we can give you some nasir inshallah from the sisters and the brothers

00:02:22.080 and yes so let's get straight into the topic the topic today is to the brothers would you want a career

00:02:27.940 wife um i obviously i'm not married so i i don't know what marriage is like or anything but

00:02:37.520 i don't think i'd want one because of um how society is nowadays with like movies and uh basically

00:02:45.640 the media um i know that whenever we have a kid she's she's not gonna have to but i i think that

00:02:54.080 for the sake of the kids it'll be better if she's part-time or not working because then she can fully

00:03:01.000 focus on bringing up the kid in the islamic and correct way and that that would protect um the

00:03:07.720 child's future and then hence obviously our future and that's uh i'm 17

00:03:12.380 you're you're you're you're very mature for your age masha'Allah you're thinking ahead

00:03:16.440 masha'Allah brothers like you deserve two wives

00:03:18.740 masha'Allah

00:03:19.680 masha'Allah

00:03:20.500 dishan

00:03:21.360 let Faisal go

00:03:22.620 is it nasheed

00:03:23.700 you smiled to jenna so

00:03:26.740 come on bro

00:03:27.680 so dishan would you want a career wife

00:03:32.100 you gotta

00:03:34.160 define what do you mean career wife

00:03:35.920 very simple brother i'll make it very simple for you guys

00:03:39.240 a wife that has a career

00:03:41.520 career oriented

00:03:42.780 no orientation is not a problem bro you can career orientated no problem

00:03:46.660 the problem here is that you want to pursue your career be it doctor be it i don't know

00:03:52.280 focused on career

00:03:53.380 that's what career oriented means

00:03:54.800 yeah

00:03:55.420 has a career wants a career wants to work

00:03:57.760 do you mean she's uh not giving up everything else but she's 100% on right i'm focusing completely

00:04:05.180 on my career

00:04:05.760 yep

00:04:06.060 and when it

00:04:06.980 listen i am gonna work

00:04:08.620 that's what career oriented means

00:04:09.740 yeah yeah i know but like everything else

00:04:11.480 yes

00:04:11.820 yes

00:04:12.380 yeah you know i understand

00:04:13.500 but everything else in her life is um

00:04:18.500 secondary

00:04:18.920 secondary she won't think about it so

00:04:20.760 you get a lot of women

00:04:21.900 who

00:04:23.020 what

00:04:23.860 that's

00:04:24.660 the woman loves you kids but

00:04:27.480 she wants to work

00:04:28.940 what because

00:04:30.160 personally i think the issue and obviously

00:04:32.780 you know i'm i'm a little bit younger i need to

00:04:35.140 build up my opinions and stuff

00:04:36.820 but

00:04:37.460 when uh you you see a lot of women who get to mid 30s 40s

00:04:41.260 they haven't thought about marriage yet

00:04:43.480 like they haven't even begun looking

00:04:45.900 and and it takes a while

00:04:47.480 so i i am

00:04:49.100 if if that what you mean by career woman then my previous answer

00:04:52.440 stay

00:04:53.140 exactly

00:04:53.820 let me um make it very clear

00:04:55.780 me myself i would not want a career

00:04:58.180 woman i would not want a career wife

00:05:00.220 i would not want a wife who's like okay yeah

00:05:02.220 um now you're gonna look after the kids

00:05:04.220 i'm gonna have to go because i'm a doctor

00:05:05.620 i'm not gonna let go of this because i studied five years

00:05:08.360 to become it

00:05:09.200 eh

00:05:09.660 why

00:05:09.980 because i want a traditional wife

00:05:11.980 yeah

00:05:12.900 so

00:05:13.400 why would a career not give you a traditional wife

00:05:17.880 because for example at the end of the day i want a wife who's going to be a mother

00:05:21.840 who's going to look after the kids who's going to be looking at building up nurturing the next generation

00:05:26.520 which is my children

00:05:27.680 um when i come home from work i would like some food on the table

00:05:31.180 um and many other aspects to be honest

00:05:33.720 so when she does that

00:05:34.680 she's not going to be able to do that

00:05:36.660 so if i'm doing my

00:05:37.640 as a traditional man if i'm doing my part

00:05:39.940 i'm not going to be seen that from the other side

00:05:41.900 because i'm going to have to

00:05:43.140 come home and she's like oh did you make food

00:05:45.300 no i did not make food

00:05:46.780 yeah

00:05:47.120 so

00:05:47.640 yeah i didn't

00:05:48.840 you know where everything is

00:05:50.120 why didn't you just make it

00:05:51.360 sorry

00:05:51.940 yeah exactly

00:05:53.160 because i don't want to hear that

00:05:54.460 yeah so the thing is here

00:05:55.580 and this is why a lot of people are making a lot of mistakes

00:05:57.720 yeah sisters maybe you can add on to this yeah

00:05:59.340 because you guys didn't really answer it

00:06:01.140 thank you very much

00:06:01.840 that's because the question was

00:06:03.400 let me

00:06:04.080 answer it

00:06:05.800 look it's very simple bro

00:06:06.940 i've got what you've implied

00:06:10.220 yeah

00:06:10.900 after some heavy kind of looking into what you're saying

00:06:13.780 if a person is career implied like you're implying

00:06:17.420 yeah

00:06:17.880 a career means that there's a ladder

00:06:20.040 yeah

00:06:20.900 and there's a beginning and there's an end

00:06:22.640 so if you're going up the career ladder

00:06:24.720 that means you're going to have to make certain choices

00:06:27.640 you're going to have to adopt certain characteristics and certain traits

00:06:31.420 and those traits tend to be masculine

00:06:33.740 yeah

00:06:34.560 because the other traits may not necessarily work

00:06:38.240 you do have to be stoic

00:06:39.340 you do have to be assertive

00:06:41.100 you do have to be tolerant

00:06:42.260 you do need to have a thick skin

00:06:43.580 stuff that is typically not associated with women

00:06:46.320 so if that person now is coming into your life

00:06:49.660 and you depends what sort of man you are

00:06:52.400 are you a man that is typically regarded as a high value man

00:06:56.100 or are you somebody that's not necessarily a high value man

00:06:58.860 if they are looking for a high value man because again

00:07:01.520 a woman who is in a certain position in her career

00:07:05.000 she typically wants to marry someone that's at least equal to her

00:07:08.180 if not higher

00:07:09.040 so now if she wants a higher level man

00:07:11.580 that higher higher level man

00:07:13.540 does he want to come home to somebody that does have masculine traits

00:07:16.580 and the question for me

00:07:18.480 well rather the answer for me would be no

00:07:21.020 if I'm coming home

00:07:22.360 I don't want to be having debates with somebody over trivial and small things

00:07:27.060 I don't want somebody

00:07:28.300 because a man doesn't want to marry a man

00:07:30.200 in the sense that a man doesn't want to marry somebody that's also masculine

00:07:39.100 a female tends not to

00:07:41.100 she tends not to also want to marry somebody that's also feminine as well

00:07:45.360 opposites attract on average kind of thing

00:07:48.920 so bearing that in mind

00:07:51.460 as a career orientated woman

00:07:53.260 with the kind of traits that comes with being in a career

00:07:56.500 I would avoid that

00:07:58.080 so to answer your question

00:08:04.140 I'm going to break it down a little

00:08:06.720 just so people don't misunderstand you

00:08:08.180 can a sister have a career?

00:08:12.420 yes she can

00:08:13.400 we're not saying that

00:08:16.280 it's a problem for a sister to have a career

00:08:20.060 haven't said that yet either

00:08:21.320 do I prefer a sister

00:08:24.140 who is more focused

00:08:26.820 on a career

00:08:28.020 as opposed to raising a family

00:08:29.900 and having traditional house roles

00:08:32.460 I would not want that

00:08:33.980 because it's my job to provide

00:08:35.960 right

00:08:36.320 factors out of the picture

00:08:38.040 you know

00:08:39.040 just at times that needs to fluctuate

00:08:41.360 but no

00:08:42.360 I would not want you

00:08:43.240 focus

00:08:44.000 sorry

00:08:44.720 career oriented woman

00:08:45.880 so I think we need to look at

00:08:48.340 what is causing this to happen

00:08:51.300 right

00:08:51.820 and it's interesting

00:08:52.880 because you're talking about like

00:08:53.860 opposites attract

00:08:54.840 masculine women

00:08:55.720 feminist men

00:08:56.720 I actually like

00:08:58.080 when you see these kind of like

00:08:59.100 celebrity couples

00:08:59.760 where the woman is like

00:09:00.520 this powerhouse boss babe

00:09:01.860 whatever

00:09:02.200 her husband tends to be quite submissive

00:09:05.360 and

00:09:05.860 well he has no choice but to

00:09:06.780 I mean I don't know whether it's that

00:09:08.420 men have kind of like

00:09:09.520 regressed into this sort of like

00:09:11.960 fetal

00:09:12.920 sort of like

00:09:13.860 okay I'll listen to you

00:09:14.960 kind of like position

00:09:15.920 right

00:09:16.360 but

00:09:16.980 that's the only way that I've seen it work

00:09:19.460 because then there's no

00:09:20.560 clash for power

00:09:21.880 he submits

00:09:23.060 and understands that his wife is the boss

00:09:24.980 and he's happy to just

00:09:26.720 you know

00:09:26.980 trot along

00:09:27.600 and like spend her money

00:09:28.560 and do whatever

00:09:29.300 it's kind of this weird flip

00:09:30.540 and reverse

00:09:31.560 it's happened

00:09:32.520 it's a disaster

00:09:33.240 but we need to look at

00:09:34.640 why is this happening right

00:09:36.160 and that's

00:09:37.060 this whole kind of

00:09:38.920 especially in the 90s

00:09:39.960 there was this massive push

00:09:41.080 with like shows like

00:09:41.800 Sex and the City

00:09:42.540 and things like that right

00:09:43.460 where

00:09:44.160 they

00:09:44.900 kind of

00:09:45.640 glamified

00:09:46.720 this life of being 40

00:09:48.420 and never married

00:09:49.220 and never had kids

00:09:50.220 and just working

00:09:51.020 and like living your best life

00:09:52.360 and traveling and stuff

00:09:53.320 and I actually

00:09:54.380 I was listening to

00:09:56.140 a

00:09:56.740 a class I've been taking

00:09:58.800 called Wife School

00:09:59.740 which I think everybody

00:10:00.440 should take a wife school

00:10:01.440 before they get married

00:10:02.420 or even after they get married

00:10:03.500 and she was talking about

00:10:06.480 how the lady

00:10:07.540 who actually

00:10:08.240 wrote the books

00:10:09.100 for Sex and the City

00:10:10.120 you know

00:10:11.520 pushed this lifestyle

00:10:12.440 on women

00:10:13.300 for decades

00:10:14.300 and later went back

00:10:15.660 oh yeah

00:10:15.900 what's her name

00:10:16.400 she's a feminist

00:10:16.900 I know

00:10:17.180 I was reading the book

00:10:18.360 she's an ex-feminist actually

00:10:19.020 because she's turned back

00:10:20.820 and said

00:10:21.240 she's in her

00:10:21.940 you know

00:10:22.260 40s or whatever now

00:10:23.220 and she hates her life

00:10:24.520 she's divorced

00:10:25.120 and single

00:10:25.740 and she's like

00:10:26.820 I've spent my whole life

00:10:27.700 pushing this

00:10:28.180 and it's not

00:10:28.780 I wish I chased a career

00:10:30.160 I'm lonely

00:10:30.840 I wish I had children

00:10:31.980 now that I'm divorced

00:10:32.980 and alone

00:10:33.480 and I'm in my like

00:10:34.320 late life

00:10:34.900 and this is what's been fed

00:10:37.080 to society

00:10:37.760 that you can be single

00:10:39.260 and free

00:10:39.780 and travel

00:10:40.400 and hang out with your girls

00:10:41.280 and live this amazing life

00:10:42.400 but the reality is

00:10:44.060 women

00:10:45.120 have an expiration date

00:10:47.440 in terms of having a family

00:10:48.560 men don't

00:10:49.080 you guys could be 70

00:10:50.120 and birth a new family

00:10:51.540 if you wanted to

00:10:52.280 don't know why you would

00:10:53.380 but if you did

00:10:53.940 you could do that

00:10:54.540 but as women

00:10:55.520 we have a limited

00:10:56.840 time frame

00:10:58.180 I think it's like

00:10:59.460 28 or 36

00:11:00.800 or something like that

00:11:01.580 anywhere from 18

00:11:02.760 to about 28

00:11:03.800 yeah

00:11:04.500 so we only have this window

00:11:06.300 and when it passes

00:11:07.200 that's it

00:11:07.900 you're either going to

00:11:09.020 adopt in your 50s

00:11:10.440 by yourself

00:11:11.200 a cat dog

00:11:11.960 or you're talking about a baby

00:11:12.820 either

00:11:13.640 whatever you please

00:11:14.680 you know nowadays

00:11:15.440 there's a market for everything

00:11:16.540 yeah literally

00:11:16.940 there's cats and dogs

00:11:17.660 you could adopt a microwave

00:11:19.240 and that could be your baby now

00:11:20.480 you know

00:11:20.760 who knows

00:11:21.160 but they're getting to this point

00:11:22.820 where they dreamt of this life

00:11:25.420 and it doesn't fulfill you

00:11:26.940 in the end

00:11:27.340 because as human beings

00:11:28.540 Allah created us

00:11:29.460 that we are meant to find

00:11:31.880 our other half

00:11:32.560 we're meant to build

00:11:33.640 our little community

00:11:34.680 inside our home

00:11:35.860 and this is what brings us peace

00:11:37.280 and this is what looks after us

00:11:38.740 when we're old

00:11:39.420 Allah says

00:11:40.160 like they looked after you

00:11:41.360 and you look after them

00:11:42.260 you know

00:11:42.720 when they're old

00:11:43.640 and that's what you need

00:11:44.460 you need that care and love

00:11:45.640 and companionship in your age

00:11:47.740 and so they've been brainwashed

00:11:49.340 to think that that's not what you need

00:11:50.860 and you can attain

00:11:51.520 whatever you want anyway

00:11:52.580 but it's just not the reality of it

00:11:54.580 okay interesting

00:11:55.520 so I think it's interesting

00:12:00.420 the way that you were talking

00:12:01.640 about the traits

00:12:02.640 that come with somebody

00:12:03.560 who's climbing a career ladder

00:12:05.920 and I think this is very very true

00:12:08.260 however

00:12:09.200 I would probably just ask a question

00:12:11.060 it's not like

00:12:11.720 to trip you up on anything

00:12:13.080 it's just a question

00:12:13.820 to delve into this more

00:12:14.900 so what would you suggest

00:12:16.460 for somebody who

00:12:17.520 is not married

00:12:18.800 has no male

00:12:20.860 to look after them

00:12:21.820 has to financially

00:12:23.340 provide for herself

00:12:24.520 has to therefore

00:12:25.860 get a job

00:12:26.500 has to climb

00:12:27.980 some sort of ladder

00:12:28.900 so that she's not

00:12:29.800 depreciating

00:12:30.800 in terms of her finances

00:12:31.960 because we live

00:12:32.580 in an inflationary world

00:12:33.960 and then wants

00:12:36.660 to get married

00:12:37.240 so me

00:12:38.320 basically

00:12:38.820 that's me

00:12:40.580 so exactly

00:12:42.460 so I've had no choice

00:12:43.300 but to work

00:12:43.920 but to

00:12:44.460 you know

00:12:45.800 create my own

00:12:46.580 small business

00:12:47.140 which I'm very proud of

00:12:48.280 I'm not a boss babe

00:12:49.660 I don't claim

00:12:50.220 to be anything like that

00:12:50.900 oh it's

00:12:52.900 Heston Learning Centre

00:12:53.780 it's a tuition centre

00:12:54.640 for children

00:12:55.080 and I also teach

00:12:56.540 children and women's

00:12:57.900 Brazilian jiu-jitsu

00:12:58.780 as well

00:12:59.400 so

00:12:59.820 the thing that I would ask

00:13:02.040 is that

00:13:02.340 I'm really looking forward

00:13:03.560 to getting married

00:13:04.080 so inshallah

00:13:04.660 when I do get married

00:13:05.580 I know that I want to

00:13:06.780 embody the traits

00:13:07.780 that are feminine

00:13:08.440 I don't want to embody

00:13:09.680 the traits that I've been

00:13:10.620 forced to embody

00:13:11.560 because it is being

00:13:12.780 forced to embody them

00:13:13.800 I've had no choice

00:13:14.740 so I can't wait

00:13:15.980 until I don't have

00:13:16.980 to do that anymore

00:13:17.920 and I can say that

00:13:19.380 I really cannot wait

00:13:20.620 but

00:13:21.560 I've understood your point

00:13:24.820 I've understood your point

00:13:25.660 but what would you

00:13:26.840 what would you suggest

00:13:28.000 to somebody

00:13:28.580 for the 11 years

00:13:30.600 that I've been Muslim

00:13:31.300 trying to get married

00:13:32.320 not being able to get married

00:13:33.680 been actively pursuing it

00:13:35.360 what would you have suggested

00:13:36.780 a woman like that does

00:13:38.400 staff?

00:13:39.940 no

00:13:40.260 so it depends

00:13:45.640 if a woman

00:13:46.540 has been in a career

00:13:47.880 in which she's a secretary

00:13:49.140 she's around other men

00:13:50.320 she's in a power-driven

00:13:51.460 corporation

00:13:52.200 in which she's

00:13:53.520 trying to go up

00:13:54.220 it's obvious to

00:13:55.480 a typical person

00:13:56.840 what that entails

00:13:57.660 however

00:13:58.720 if you're a nurse

00:13:59.660 yeah

00:14:00.460 however if you're

00:14:01.220 a primary school teacher

00:14:02.160 I mean

00:14:02.680 I would say

00:14:03.620 I mean the statistic

00:14:04.560 is like over 80%

00:14:05.940 of the primary profession

00:14:07.600 are of females

00:14:08.540 so there are certain careers

00:14:11.100 that it's more palatable

00:14:12.740 it's more digestible

00:14:14.400 for a man

00:14:15.460 that's seeking you

00:14:16.580 as a potential spouse

00:14:17.460 that they can ascertain

00:14:18.700 from your career choice

00:14:20.260 that this is somebody

00:14:21.020 that most likely

00:14:22.660 has still retained

00:14:23.720 her feminine traits

00:14:24.540 however

00:14:25.540 if you're there

00:14:26.940 kind of wrestling

00:14:27.660 and is professional

00:14:28.560 and this and that

00:14:29.400 again a man

00:14:30.700 he's going to be thinking

00:14:31.920 whoa

00:14:32.380 like

00:14:33.000 I think a secure man

00:14:34.100 can handle that

00:14:34.900 I wouldn't say

00:14:36.680 I'm sorry

00:14:38.800 I just had to say something

00:14:40.060 for me

00:14:40.500 yeah it's not

00:14:41.360 I was just going to say

00:14:42.580 that like

00:14:43.020 I don't think

00:14:43.660 at least I've never

00:14:45.180 I don't know if brothers

00:14:46.080 do this

00:14:46.480 I don't know if

00:14:47.620 when brothers are going

00:14:48.360 into marriage

00:14:48.940 they're like

00:14:49.320 oh she has a career

00:14:50.520 she can't be feminine

00:14:52.240 exactly

00:14:52.940 I don't think people

00:14:53.820 I don't think men

00:14:55.420 necessarily think like that

00:14:56.420 but nor are we

00:14:57.700 having a discussion

00:14:58.400 that entails

00:14:59.140 sisters can't have a career

00:15:00.860 we're having a discussion

00:15:02.480 for during marriage

00:15:04.020 but it is coming across

00:15:05.000 that way

00:15:05.460 from listening to you guys

00:15:06.400 yeah so just clarifying

00:15:07.460 it is coming across

00:15:09.380 that way

00:15:09.780 it's good you have

00:15:11.440 though

00:15:11.700 it's good you have

00:15:12.400 and you're more than

00:15:13.060 welcome to do so

00:15:13.880 order

00:15:14.080 order

00:15:14.440 okay

00:15:14.700 if it's coming across

00:15:15.400 like that

00:15:15.640 we need to make

00:15:16.120 clarification straight

00:15:16.840 to the camera

00:15:17.260 we do not mean that

00:15:18.400 so let's talk again

00:15:19.080 because it's very important

00:15:19.780 okay

00:15:20.500 no no no

00:15:21.720 they don't

00:15:21.940 they listen to me

00:15:22.540 I'm a misogynistic man here

00:15:23.520 yeah

00:15:24.100 just to clarify

00:15:25.520 we are not saying

00:15:26.900 like for example

00:15:27.760 my wife

00:15:28.760 had a career

00:15:29.600 she had

00:15:30.940 and

00:15:31.140 no actually

00:15:31.660 she actually wanted to pursue it

00:15:32.920 but the thing is

00:15:33.520 we had kids

00:15:34.440 and wallah

00:15:35.060 she's

00:15:35.440 you know

00:15:36.520 she's a housewife

00:15:37.140 she's totally happy about it

00:15:38.780 yeah

00:15:38.880 so the thing is though

00:15:39.940 I'm not saying

00:15:40.800 I didn't come and say

00:15:41.400 oh my gosh

00:15:41.780 you have this career

00:15:42.500 I'm not going to marry you

00:15:43.020 I never even had that thought process

00:15:44.200 but I would ask

00:15:45.240 do you

00:15:46.060 once we get married

00:15:46.920 do you want to continue it

00:15:48.360 we had that discussion

00:15:49.660 that's very important

00:15:50.680 so we're not saying

00:15:51.360 career

00:15:52.100 red flag

00:15:52.700 not feminine

00:15:53.240 we're not saying that

00:15:53.920 you can have a career

00:15:55.120 but I think we clarified

00:15:56.600 that there are certain

00:15:57.640 yeah just so it's clarified

00:15:58.980 that we

00:15:59.340 not misunderstood

00:16:00.260 because we don't want to make you feel

00:16:01.500 as if

00:16:01.780 it's like

00:16:02.360 what we're saying is though

00:16:03.320 at the end of the day

00:16:04.080 we want to come home

00:16:05.580 to a traditional wife

00:16:06.800 career wide

00:16:07.680 that's why I believe

00:16:08.540 the solution to this

00:16:09.540 I know we talked about

00:16:10.140 the solutions last year

00:16:10.980 that's why I believe

00:16:12.360 feminism has made the roles

00:16:14.060 kind of reversed

00:16:14.700 in this context

00:16:15.300 where

00:16:15.580 when you are at your prime

00:16:17.580 for the sisters

00:16:18.400 your prime is 18 to 28

00:16:19.540 you are at your prime

00:16:20.700 you are the most beautiful

00:16:22.280 you are

00:16:23.120 men want to marry you

00:16:25.000 and women are born with value

00:16:26.380 the best thing to do

00:16:27.740 I would personally say

00:16:28.420 sisters

00:16:28.700 is

00:16:28.980 you get married

00:16:29.660 very young

00:16:30.240 have your kids

00:16:31.320 by the time you are about

00:16:32.760 30, 31

00:16:33.740 these kids have grown up

00:16:35.700 you and your husband

00:16:36.900 subhanallah

00:16:37.860 like you in your 30s

00:16:38.900 wherever it may be

00:16:39.560 then get to Korea

00:16:40.900 we do it the opposite way

00:16:42.320 first let's get Korea

00:16:43.380 boss babe

00:16:43.960 and then at the age of 30

00:16:45.580 oh my gosh

00:16:46.200 my time is running out

00:16:46.860 but life doesn't work like that

00:16:48.540 life doesn't allow that

00:16:50.480 the difference is

00:16:52.320 there's a difference

00:16:53.360 between Korea and a job

00:16:54.720 yeah

00:16:55.320 Korea is something

00:16:56.320 that's long term

00:16:57.220 job is something

00:16:58.540 that's temporary

00:16:59.120 in fact when people

00:17:00.420 you can take career breaks

00:17:01.560 as well

00:17:01.940 yes

00:17:02.300 but that's why I'm saying

00:17:03.680 I'm distinguishing

00:17:04.360 between the two

00:17:05.060 let's just say

00:17:05.700 somebody's got married

00:17:06.580 and you know

00:17:07.760 that your wife

00:17:08.580 is going to be home

00:17:09.300 you're going to be at work

00:17:10.180 she's going to be by herself

00:17:11.280 again that's why

00:17:12.980 but again you're boxing

00:17:13.960 even men and women's roles

00:17:15.660 which I think now

00:17:17.120 it's not that box

00:17:18.060 as you're making it

00:17:18.840 even when you're saying

00:17:19.380 traditional men

00:17:20.140 what is a traditional man

00:17:21.700 a traditional man

00:17:23.320 also can help to cook

00:17:25.180 and have those skills

00:17:26.180 a traditional man

00:17:27.360 can actually help

00:17:28.220 his wife

00:17:29.020 if the kids are

00:17:29.740 you know

00:17:30.260 troublesome

00:17:30.840 and they can say

00:17:31.440 okay I'm doing the

00:17:32.260 the dinner

00:17:32.980 the dishes

00:17:34.860 whatever

00:17:35.240 there's nothing wrong

00:17:36.300 can or should

00:17:37.200 I said can

00:17:38.700 and they should have

00:17:39.320 the skills to do it

00:17:39.940 when they go to university

00:17:40.900 they're not going to have

00:17:41.820 their mummies

00:17:42.300 or even her wife

00:17:43.180 to even look after them

00:17:43.940 so it's good for them

00:17:44.700 to have those skills

00:17:45.720 question though

00:17:46.400 I have a question for her

00:17:47.840 I have a question for her

00:17:49.100 whose main priority role

00:17:51.880 is that in a relationship

00:17:52.940 the man or the woman

00:17:53.780 to rear the children

00:17:54.740 and of course

00:17:55.580 the main priority

00:17:56.800 what is

00:17:57.740 what is the situation

00:17:58.940 in the house

00:17:59.660 is

00:18:00.320 it would be nice

00:18:01.620 for a woman

00:18:02.560 to take on

00:18:03.340 that responsibility

00:18:04.380 but naturally

00:18:05.400 biologically

00:18:06.240 absolutely

00:18:06.740 who is better equipped

00:18:07.980 for that role

00:18:08.580 actually nowadays

00:18:09.900 you could argue

00:18:11.180 either or

00:18:12.120 because I know

00:18:12.940 so many

00:18:13.400 can men breastfeed

00:18:14.700 well you asked me

00:18:15.700 about one thing

00:18:16.560 and that's

00:18:16.920 she said biologically

00:18:17.680 I said biologically

00:18:18.580 who is more equipped

00:18:19.920 by Allah

00:18:20.760 to take care of the kids

00:18:21.620 who has been given

00:18:22.400 that role by Allah

00:18:23.480 absolutely

00:18:24.200 but there are a lot of

00:18:25.760 unfortunately

00:18:26.440 circumstances that I see

00:18:27.940 where the women

00:18:28.680 are not doing that

00:18:29.720 even if it's biologically

00:18:30.800 in that

00:18:31.260 but the man is providing

00:18:32.360 there's a lot of homes

00:18:33.240 that are broken

00:18:33.820 where the women

00:18:35.140 you know

00:18:35.680 at the end of the day

00:18:36.200 they're not able to do that

00:18:37.380 and the man can take that role

00:18:38.760 what do you mean

00:18:39.240 by they're not able to

00:18:40.240 give like an example

00:18:41.060 like what do you mean

00:18:41.820 if there's mental health issues

00:18:43.200 for the wife

00:18:44.120 for example

00:18:44.580 it's exceptional

00:18:45.060 okay

00:18:45.440 so I know it's exceptional

00:18:46.980 but it's happening more and more

00:18:48.240 and the statistics are higher

00:18:49.540 and I deal with that

00:18:50.440 you know

00:18:50.680 in a very everyday issue

00:18:52.280 so what I'm trying to say is

00:18:53.840 you know

00:18:54.460 when you say traditional man

00:18:55.800 yes

00:18:56.700 it is the way

00:18:57.840 it should be nice

00:18:59.520 in that way

00:19:00.120 but you know

00:19:00.580 we're not living

00:19:01.580 in those sort of circumstances anymore

00:19:03.340 where at the end of the day

00:19:04.860 a man has to

00:19:06.240 only work

00:19:07.260 and provide

00:19:07.920 the women can contribute

00:19:09.540 and to have a career

00:19:10.840 does not take away

00:19:11.740 her femininity

00:19:13.080 even if you're working

00:19:14.060 in those high

00:19:14.720 sort of like

00:19:15.620 profile businesses

00:19:16.880 or careers

00:19:17.680 or whatever

00:19:18.040 that's maybe masculine energy

00:19:19.880 and she doesn't have to bring

00:19:20.980 that masculine energy

00:19:21.920 to the house

00:19:22.620 define masculine energy

00:19:23.280 masculine energy

00:19:24.320 is having that leadership role

00:19:25.740 having that argumentative

00:19:27.240 sort of

00:19:27.560 it's not just energy

00:19:29.460 well it's called energy

00:19:31.400 that's what it is

00:19:32.320 because it

00:19:32.600 differentiates between her

00:19:35.280 being

00:19:35.920 where's that energy coming from

00:19:37.420 the energy is coming from

00:19:39.500 the fact that she has to

00:19:40.760 be in a particular persona

00:19:42.880 in order

00:19:44.080 to actually

00:19:45.460 maybe be at work

00:19:47.820 right

00:19:48.360 that was my point

00:19:49.140 persona and characteristics

00:19:50.420 change

00:19:50.940 yeah but it doesn't mean

00:19:51.420 that she can't be both

00:19:52.640 it doesn't mean

00:19:53.400 if she works

00:19:54.000 in that particular way

00:19:54.980 that she can't also be feminine

00:19:56.720 and also bring

00:19:58.260 a sort of like

00:19:59.160 a different sort of stance

00:20:00.580 when she's at home

00:20:00.900 so you're saying

00:20:01.520 she needs to have

00:20:02.340 two contradictory characteristics

00:20:04.000 that she can switch on enough

00:20:05.420 you're asking too much

00:20:06.420 no but you can

00:20:07.560 we do that all the time

00:20:08.740 we do that when we're at home

00:20:10.100 we are certain characters at home

00:20:11.580 and when we go to work

00:20:12.640 we're different characters

00:20:13.220 you as a man probably is

00:20:13.840 that's where mental health problems

00:20:15.000 come from

00:20:15.480 no absolutely not

00:20:17.420 yeah it's called

00:20:18.000 split personalities

00:20:19.040 no it's not

00:20:20.060 it's just cause

00:20:22.040 exactly

00:20:22.580 if they know how to go home

00:20:24.140 and have respect to their husband

00:20:25.260 exactly

00:20:25.660 they won't act like that

00:20:26.560 they won't take on those tricks

00:20:27.780 what if she's in a position

00:20:29.080 where she loses that respect

00:20:30.440 maybe she gets angry

00:20:31.500 or emotional

00:20:32.140 I understand it can get hard

00:20:33.000 I get what you're saying

00:20:33.780 that when you're trying

00:20:34.680 to enmesh the two so much

00:20:36.260 all the time

00:20:36.920 it can become mind-boggling

00:20:38.440 I understand that

00:20:39.420 but I also agree with the fact that

00:20:41.300 no actually

00:20:42.500 if you are for whatever reason

00:20:44.680 as a woman

00:20:45.200 in a

00:20:45.680 as you say

00:20:46.520 non-idealistic situation to you

00:20:48.100 you've fallen into a career

00:20:49.300 whatever

00:20:49.700 as long as you have respect

00:20:51.040 for your husband

00:20:51.600 you still have the ability

00:20:52.960 to go home

00:20:53.760 and not act like boss babe

00:20:55.540 or whatever it is

00:20:56.300 exactly

00:20:56.320 he can be the man

00:20:57.000 so on the one hand

00:20:58.140 you have a biological inclination

00:21:00.420 yeah

00:21:00.940 and for you to go towards

00:21:02.240 your biological inclination

00:21:03.620 and of course societal inclination

00:21:05.700 that's ideal

00:21:06.880 and let's cumbersome on you

00:21:08.600 when you start putting something

00:21:10.400 that's against your biology

00:21:11.580 and against sociology

00:21:12.600 and you're trying to

00:21:13.620 mesh the two together

00:21:14.580 sorry

00:21:15.240 how is it against it

00:21:16.440 because women

00:21:17.460 are

00:21:18.040 we can be more than one

00:21:19.800 sort of trait and characteristic

00:21:21.140 if that's when you get

00:21:22.700 the mental health issue

00:21:23.580 no

00:21:23.920 who says that

00:21:24.700 who says that

00:21:25.500 I'm studying

00:21:25.980 women say that

00:21:26.700 women say that

00:21:27.420 no if they're saying it

00:21:28.200 they're not coming from

00:21:28.800 a professional point of view

00:21:29.880 well these are peer-reviewed journals

00:21:31.360 no

00:21:32.020 even still

00:21:32.660 I'm doing research

00:21:33.360 which you mean even still

00:21:34.460 no

00:21:34.860 these

00:21:35.460 these research

00:21:36.560 that is happening right now

00:21:37.880 they're very very

00:21:38.800 you know

00:21:39.620 very very limited

00:21:40.720 even in its research

00:21:41.960 right

00:21:42.260 when it comes to

00:21:43.080 factors of mental health

00:21:44.420 it is not what you're just saying

00:21:45.960 that it is

00:21:46.600 trust me

00:21:47.560 right

00:21:47.760 because mental health

00:21:49.780 does not come from

00:21:50.540 only that

00:21:51.060 it's genetic

00:21:52.080 it's biologic

00:21:52.880 biology as well as

00:21:54.160 environmental

00:21:54.840 okay guys

00:21:55.400 today we're talking about

00:21:56.140 mental health

00:21:56.560 can we

00:21:57.020 it is

00:21:58.220 it's not about

00:21:59.360 mental health

00:21:59.820 let's just make something

00:22:00.420 very clear

00:22:01.040 but it is

00:22:01.400 if you say that's the problem

00:22:02.460 it's going to cause mental health

00:22:04.100 if you have all these

00:22:04.780 no no

00:22:05.040 okay okay

00:22:05.360 maybe we went

00:22:06.300 okay

00:22:06.540 but the topic

00:22:07.220 right now

00:22:07.640 let me just bring it back

00:22:08.400 into the topic

00:22:08.840 it's about

00:22:09.580 do men want a career

00:22:10.780 orientated wife

00:22:12.240 I hope that makes sense

00:22:13.340 so let me make it very clear

00:22:16.180 look

00:22:16.740 I'm a man

00:22:17.540 let me ask you

00:22:18.700 one by one

00:22:20.000 when it comes to this issue

00:22:21.500 I have a concern

00:22:22.280 where

00:22:22.540 if my wife

00:22:24.860 is the

00:22:25.540 I want to say provider

00:22:26.920 but if she's working

00:22:27.760 I

00:22:28.640 I've made this

00:22:29.680 very clear before

00:22:30.300 if my wife

00:22:31.000 was a multi-millionaire

00:22:31.940 I would tell her

00:22:32.800 you are not paying for the rent

00:22:33.660 you are not paying for the shopping

00:22:34.640 you are not paying for the petrol

00:22:35.740 you are not paying for the cancel tax

00:22:37.060 you are not paying for electric gas

00:22:38.180 none of it

00:22:38.940 the only money

00:22:39.380 that's your money

00:22:39.800 enjoy it

00:22:40.200 do whatever you like

00:22:40.620 with it

00:22:40.780 but you are not doing that

00:22:42.320 because why

00:22:43.060 because at the end of the day

00:22:44.420 we agreed in our other episode

00:22:46.440 that sisters can say stuff

00:22:47.760 that can slice you up into pieces

00:22:49.000 if she comes on one day

00:22:50.260 and goes

00:22:50.540 well guess who contributes

00:22:51.720 it might be unintentional

00:22:53.160 it might be

00:22:53.580 she didn't mean it

00:22:54.580 but for a man

00:22:55.400 it's like somebody

00:22:56.160 juked you

00:22:56.680 so to us

00:22:59.920 it's like words

00:23:00.880 like with us

00:23:01.780 we're physically strong

00:23:02.560 women are mentally

00:23:03.780 more stronger than us

00:23:04.680 I believe

00:23:05.020 that's why you guys

00:23:06.000 end up getting over

00:23:07.020 breakups easier

00:23:08.080 than men

00:23:08.420 we suffer

00:23:08.980 and we have

00:23:09.720 suicide rates

00:23:10.460 I'm talking about the breakups

00:23:17.840 even the breakups

00:23:18.640 we get hurt

00:23:20.380 at the very beginning

00:23:21.280 but on the long run

00:23:23.280 but we suffer

00:23:25.460 have you seen that meme

00:23:26.100 where the guys break up

00:23:26.980 and he's like

00:23:27.300 and the girl's like

00:23:28.280 and then it's like

00:23:29.060 three months later

00:23:29.620 he's crippled

00:23:30.420 and she's like

00:23:31.080 new beginning

00:23:31.800 so you guys

00:23:32.820 why because

00:23:33.540 you can go to your girlfriend

00:23:35.300 and be like

00:23:35.980 you can start crying

00:23:37.460 if I go to my friend

00:23:38.080 and cry

00:23:38.320 he'll give me one uppercut

00:23:39.120 why are you crying for

00:23:40.600 sorry

00:23:40.980 we have to bottle it up

00:23:42.620 as men

00:23:43.300 we have this

00:23:44.160 women you can express it

00:23:45.600 sometimes

00:23:46.200 I've been in a situation

00:23:47.540 in my life

00:23:47.920 when I've been in difficulty

00:23:48.580 even crying to Allah

00:23:50.200 it was like

00:23:51.020 wow this is some powerful stuff

00:23:52.140 crying to your lord

00:23:53.980 it's powerful

00:23:55.060 would I ever cry

00:23:55.540 in front of my wife

00:23:56.300 very rarely

00:23:57.020 very rarely

00:23:57.680 that's a different topic

00:23:58.860 but the point we're saying

00:23:59.860 is this

00:24:00.240 men in general

00:24:01.840 do not want a wife

00:24:03.380 who's career orientated

00:24:05.000 on the long run

00:24:05.800 that's why I said

00:24:06.820 what I said in the beginning

00:24:07.540 if at a young age

00:24:08.780 when they're 18 years old

00:24:09.720 if they get

00:24:10.220 if for example

00:24:11.000 they go to uni

00:24:11.560 they want to be a teacher

00:24:12.460 doctor whatever

00:24:13.020 good you got the qualifications

00:24:14.220 good

00:24:14.520 marry now

00:24:15.880 get to have kids

00:24:17.540 have a family

00:24:18.480 this is your peak

00:24:19.440 after that

00:24:20.460 when your kids grow up

00:24:21.420 to an age

00:24:22.000 you want to go into your career

00:24:23.500 that's fine

00:24:24.360 but not at the cost of

00:24:25.940 your traditional husband

00:24:27.820 coming home

00:24:28.400 and

00:24:28.980 there's no food

00:24:30.440 because he's doing his food

00:24:31.320 I don't think it's about food

00:24:32.340 I think it's more about

00:24:33.220 rearing the children

00:24:34.020 it's more about

00:24:35.080 rearing the children

00:24:35.780 and I agree with you

00:24:36.660 because I know

00:24:37.040 a lot of career women

00:24:37.900 that actually would choose

00:24:39.140 second time round

00:24:40.040 not to be working

00:24:41.360 when their children

00:24:42.000 are at a certain age

00:24:43.180 but it doesn't mean

00:24:44.360 that they're not

00:24:45.220 doctors and dentists

00:24:46.120 and that's mostly

00:24:46.740 what I'm surrounded

00:24:47.660 with women

00:24:48.200 who are Muslim

00:24:48.960 especially from

00:24:49.800 the Iraqi community

00:24:50.620 you know

00:24:51.240 who are in that

00:24:52.220 who are both working

00:24:53.920 as professional

00:24:55.540 in that high level

00:24:56.680 right

00:24:57.340 and they are managing

00:24:58.300 a family

00:24:59.000 a home

00:24:59.620 and the husband

00:25:00.280 they are there

00:25:01.580 no but there's

00:25:02.220 a huge group

00:25:03.900 of them

00:25:04.240 there is not

00:25:05.480 exceptional

00:25:06.020 that's what I'm trying

00:25:06.620 to say

00:25:06.840 I'm around that

00:25:07.660 community

00:25:08.240 I just want to

00:25:08.840 quickly clarify something

00:25:09.880 men and women

00:25:11.680 we think very differently

00:25:12.840 so let's just make sure

00:25:14.440 that we're understanding

00:25:15.300 what the other is saying

00:25:16.140 before we take conversations

00:25:17.820 to different directions

00:25:18.640 I don't have a problem

00:25:20.580 and I have a question

00:25:21.280 for you at the end of this

00:25:21.920 I don't have a problem

00:25:23.100 with my wife working

00:25:24.280 what do I mean by this

00:25:26.000 if she

00:25:26.760 sorry

00:25:27.180 let me rephrase that

00:25:28.160 I don't have a problem

00:25:29.240 with my wife

00:25:29.940 making her own money

00:25:30.920 okay

00:25:31.660 if she makes more

00:25:33.040 than me

00:25:33.460 alright cool

00:25:34.500 like you said

00:25:35.260 I don't want you

00:25:36.000 paying for this

00:25:36.500 this is my job

00:25:37.240 I'm maintaining

00:25:37.940 I'm providing

00:25:38.620 inshallah

00:25:39.000 and rent is mine

00:25:40.760 grocery is mine

00:25:41.500 like whatever it is

00:25:42.200 that needs to be fulfilled

00:25:43.300 I'm taking care of that

00:25:44.380 do you make your own money

00:25:46.620 alright cool

00:25:47.360 you make your own money

00:25:48.040 the conversation

00:25:49.020 of whether or not

00:25:49.700 I want my wife to work

00:25:51.000 that would take

00:25:51.800 place before

00:25:53.620 the marriage

00:25:54.240 actually even happens

00:25:55.120 right

00:25:55.620 but I don't

00:25:56.720 I don't have an issue

00:25:57.740 with my wife making money

00:25:58.840 having her own money

00:26:00.060 obviously

00:26:00.720 or her making more money

00:26:02.880 than me

00:26:03.460 my question to you is

00:26:05.100 would you

00:26:08.880 be okay

00:26:10.000 let's just say

00:26:10.700 one day your wife says

00:26:11.760 I want to work

00:26:13.300 what's your response

00:26:15.280 to that

00:26:15.600 very simple

00:26:16.200 for example

00:26:16.760 if we've got a child

00:26:17.940 if we have another child

00:26:19.600 argument sake

00:26:20.220 or another child

00:26:21.480 yeah

00:26:21.840 the question is very simple

00:26:23.240 yes

00:26:23.880 my

00:26:24.560 what's going to happen

00:26:25.760 to my child

00:26:26.360 the question should be

00:26:26.940 why isn't it

00:26:27.560 no no no

00:26:28.180 of course it's why

00:26:29.040 why

00:26:29.260 but the reason why

00:26:30.620 they want to do it

00:26:31.160 is because of this

00:26:31.800 feministic

00:26:32.920 indoctrination

00:26:34.200 of

00:26:34.800 it comes from there

00:26:35.820 because what it is

00:26:36.640 is

00:26:37.060 you know where it comes from

00:26:38.300 sister

00:26:38.500 is the vilification

00:26:40.020 of being a mother

00:26:41.400 oh you're at home

00:26:42.840 mother

00:26:43.060 okay

00:26:43.380 so you're just

00:26:44.200 a housewife

00:26:44.980 you're just a housewife

00:26:45.920 let me tell you something

00:26:46.520 yeah

00:26:46.660 there was

00:26:47.240 and let me tell you

00:26:48.560 something yeah

00:26:49.020 it comes from the friends

00:26:50.400 that we were talking

00:26:51.000 about earlier

00:26:51.580 it comes from society

00:26:53.160 yeah I know

00:26:54.060 but when you've got them

00:26:55.040 a group of friends

00:26:55.960 as a female

00:26:57.140 you'll say to them

00:26:58.660 for example

00:26:59.120 I've just got married

00:27:00.080 newly and all that

00:27:01.700 and you've gone through

00:27:02.240 the honeymoon

00:27:02.540 and all the rest of it

00:27:03.260 and you've got a kid right

00:27:04.660 and you say

00:27:05.360 I'm going to stay home

00:27:06.300 for the kid

00:27:06.600 and they're going to say

00:27:06.980 you're really going to stay home

00:27:08.080 exactly

00:27:08.500 and then what that does

00:27:10.460 inside of you

00:27:11.020 is you're going to say

00:27:11.660 I shouldn't be settling for that

00:27:12.920 no exactly

00:27:13.600 but this is the issue

00:27:14.420 we're vilifying

00:27:15.200 we're vilifying

00:27:16.080 being a mother

00:27:17.100 why can't my wife

00:27:18.640 have a passion for food

00:27:19.900 that's amazing

00:27:21.320 I mean

00:27:21.800 it's an amazing thing

00:27:23.300 why can't she be a housewife

00:27:24.820 the moment you say this

00:27:26.540 oh my gosh

00:27:27.540 is that all you're doing

00:27:28.460 and these same girls

00:27:29.880 who are saying this

00:27:30.680 who are

00:27:31.260 then end up in their 30s

00:27:32.920 not married

00:27:34.000 yeah

00:27:34.480 not married

00:27:35.180 and they're realizing

00:27:35.780 that the likelihood

00:27:37.060 of them conceiving

00:27:38.340 is drastically dropping

00:27:39.900 they are getting

00:27:40.940 no I'm not going to say

00:27:42.320 uglier

00:27:42.780 but you know

00:27:43.180 their beauty is

00:27:44.080 diminishing slowly

00:27:44.960 and

00:27:45.760 I don't want to use

00:27:48.060 the word shelf life

00:27:48.880 but you know

00:27:49.840 their peak time

00:27:50.640 is on its way out

00:27:52.000 yeah I don't want

00:27:52.640 I'm trying to find

00:27:53.440 different words

00:27:53.780 if you can help me

00:27:54.220 yeah

00:27:54.320 the point is this

00:27:55.220 then they hit

00:27:56.600 a rock wall

00:27:57.100 and guess what happens

00:27:57.680 all those standards

00:27:58.440 boom

00:27:58.900 what happens

00:27:59.660 I think we're making

00:28:03.280 a lot of assumptions

00:28:04.220 I think we're making

00:28:05.720 a lot of assumptions

00:28:06.380 first of all

00:28:06.980 I think it's really

00:28:08.020 really really offensive

00:28:09.280 to turn around

00:28:10.040 and say that

00:28:10.500 every single woman

00:28:11.440 Muslim woman

00:28:12.180 let's talk about

00:28:12.720 Muslim women first

00:28:13.660 yeah

00:28:13.920 every single Muslim

00:28:15.240 woman who is

00:28:16.980 I'm not married yet

00:28:18.000 but who is married

00:28:18.940 and has decided

00:28:19.840 that they want a job

00:28:20.900 is doing it

00:28:21.800 for that reason

00:28:22.400 so personally

00:28:23.700 in my circle of friends

00:28:25.380 and this is amongst

00:28:26.680 practicing sisters

00:28:27.580 not so practicing sisters

00:28:28.980 anybody who is married

00:28:31.340 has a good husband

00:28:32.620 he earns

00:28:33.620 not even loads of money

00:28:34.600 but just enough

00:28:35.280 to pay for everything

00:28:36.480 they need

00:28:37.020 she doesn't want to work

00:28:38.440 she's happy bro

00:28:39.200 she is happy

00:28:39.960 she does not want to work

00:28:41.340 she is cool

00:28:42.040 if she has worked

00:28:43.140 very very hard

00:28:43.900 for her career

00:28:44.300 she's a doctor

00:28:44.840 dentist whatever

00:28:45.600 she may keep

00:28:46.900 some sort of

00:28:47.920 active

00:28:49.360 you know

00:28:49.760 she may be active

00:28:50.560 in the community

00:28:51.300 so she may write

00:28:52.120 for journals

00:28:53.280 she may appear

00:28:55.000 at certain events

00:28:55.860 she may do some

00:28:56.980 odd locum work

00:28:58.080 if you know

00:28:58.720 if needed

00:28:59.340 but she will

00:29:00.420 happily step back

00:29:01.640 from whatever

00:29:02.400 career she's in

00:29:03.260 if she is being

00:29:04.260 provided for

00:29:05.080 if her children

00:29:05.960 are being provided

00:29:06.780 for

00:29:07.220 if she is being

00:29:08.380 so secure

00:29:09.520 that is definitely

00:29:10.280 what women

00:29:10.740 look for

00:29:11.040 but what I'm saying

00:29:12.940 is that's why

00:29:13.840 it's a very dangerous

00:29:14.520 statement to turn around

00:29:15.460 and say that the women

00:29:16.220 in our community

00:29:17.280 who are doing that

00:29:18.540 are doing it

00:29:19.120 for some kind of

00:29:19.980 status or whatever

00:29:20.720 the only

00:29:22.880 I can tell you

00:29:23.680 that categorically

00:29:24.560 the only women

00:29:25.620 out of my friends

00:29:26.680 who I've seen

00:29:27.480 get a job

00:29:28.960 after

00:29:29.660 getting married

00:29:31.060 are women

00:29:32.820 whose husbands

00:29:33.340 were not providing

00:29:34.180 they were literally

00:29:35.220 working part time

00:29:36.220 running home

00:29:37.320 to their mum's house

00:29:38.120 for a week

00:29:38.640 not paying the bill

00:29:39.720 she's getting

00:29:40.360 everything's in her name

00:29:41.800 because for whatever

00:29:42.760 financial reasons

00:29:43.720 he's put everything

00:29:44.460 in her name

00:29:45.060 you know

00:29:45.740 so she's liable

00:29:47.020 for the rent

00:29:47.580 she has no choice

00:29:48.720 she's like

00:29:48.920 you know

00:29:49.060 I have no choice

00:29:49.440 I have to go

00:29:49.840 but sister

00:29:50.500 again

00:29:50.820 we need to

00:29:51.580 disclaimers

00:29:52.000 one second

00:29:52.380 disclaimer

00:29:53.120 number one

00:29:54.240 firstly

00:29:54.660 we are not talking

00:29:56.100 about those women

00:29:57.160 we're not talking

00:29:59.240 about factors

00:29:59.800 we're talking

00:30:00.220 about boss babes

00:30:01.220 here

00:30:01.360 please

00:30:01.620 we're talking

00:30:02.060 about women

00:30:03.060 who are like

00:30:03.820 career before

00:30:04.980 motherhood

00:30:05.600 career before

00:30:06.320 I don't think

00:30:06.900 most women

00:30:07.320 do that

00:30:08.200 but I didn't know

00:30:09.340 anyone like that

00:30:09.960 sister

00:30:11.560 you might not

00:30:12.100 know me

00:30:12.460 I wish everybody

00:30:13.920 was like you

00:30:14.520 the point is

00:30:15.560 they're not

00:30:16.260 so that's what

00:30:17.020 we're saying

00:30:17.400 is you said

00:30:18.360 you were seeking

00:30:18.840 marriage for 11 years

00:30:20.320 you were seeking

00:30:21.280 you're not amongst them

00:30:22.100 we're talking about

00:30:22.960 people

00:30:23.240 girls who are

00:30:23.760 intentionally saying

00:30:24.300 no to marriage

00:30:25.520 I'm going to be

00:30:26.240 a boss babe

00:30:26.780 in Korea

00:30:27.160 once they reach

00:30:28.740 Islamnet is establishing

00:30:30.240 a masjid

00:30:30.820 and a community center

00:30:31.900 if you donate

00:30:32.860 to build this masjid

00:30:33.780 Allah will inshallah

00:30:34.700 build a house for you

00:30:35.540 in Jannah

00:30:36.280 with bricks of gold

00:30:37.640 and silver

00:30:38.180 every person who prays

00:30:39.500 in this masjid

00:30:40.100 every child

00:30:41.240 that memorizes

00:30:41.880 the Quran

00:30:42.280 you will inshallah

00:30:43.460 share in that reward

00:30:44.320 donate now guys

00:30:45.540 and do not delay

00:30:46.300 then they realize

00:30:47.220 oh time out

00:30:48.280 oh my gosh

00:30:48.920 I'm not

00:30:49.260 as a man

00:30:49.920 look we do not want

00:30:51.240 I do not care

00:30:51.960 if my wife

00:30:52.540 was a dustbin collector

00:30:53.380 I don't care

00:30:54.700 your career

00:30:55.080 means nothing to me

00:30:56.360 so the thing is

00:30:57.420 I would choose

00:30:58.300 based on

00:30:58.880 many factors

00:30:59.580 as men

00:30:59.960 we do

00:31:00.520 so what we're

00:31:01.140 seeing is

00:31:01.540 a lot of girls

00:31:02.480 we're not talking

00:31:02.960 about what you're

00:31:03.480 talking about

00:31:03.860 we're talking

00:31:04.200 about this set

00:31:05.020 of girls

00:31:05.480 yes

00:31:06.000 these boss babes

00:31:06.840 these feminist

00:31:07.400 where do these

00:31:08.660 boss babes come from

00:31:09.760 where do you think

00:31:10.440 they come from

00:31:11.060 these boss babes

00:31:11.820 they do come from

00:31:13.440 somewhere

00:31:13.820 let me illustrate

00:31:15.180 your point

00:31:15.640 let me illustrate

00:31:16.980 your point

00:31:17.420 it's the wrong

00:31:19.160 conversation

00:31:19.880 where did it come from

00:31:20.880 when I go to

00:31:21.740 speaker's corner

00:31:22.200 and I have a

00:31:22.920 sister

00:31:23.500 where do you think

00:31:25.280 her story comes from

00:31:26.360 from being that

00:31:26.960 she's mentioned

00:31:28.640 something about

00:31:29.020 her father

00:31:29.360 which I do not

00:31:29.920 know

00:31:30.140 but the point

00:31:31.100 is this

00:31:31.420 feminism

00:31:32.020 is infiltrating

00:31:33.740 our houses

00:31:34.540 we see this

00:31:35.480 so what I'm saying

00:31:36.520 is why does

00:31:37.400 my wife

00:31:37.900 or anyone else's

00:31:38.940 wife

00:31:39.180 have to feel

00:31:40.520 that being a

00:31:41.660 housewife

00:31:42.200 is

00:31:42.500 I'm not doing

00:31:43.300 nothing with my life

00:31:44.060 no I think

00:31:44.440 they're just scared

00:31:45.100 of the

00:31:45.640 what if factor

00:31:46.700 as well

00:31:47.200 why is my wife

00:31:48.720 or anybody's wife

00:31:49.440 feeling like

00:31:50.000 I'm just a housewife

00:31:51.140 and I have to

00:31:51.900 reassure and go

00:31:52.460 are you mad

00:31:53.480 this is the most

00:31:54.040 amazing thing

00:31:55.220 whether I'm saying

00:31:55.580 my wife says or not

00:31:56.220 I'm saying

00:31:56.540 I hear the stories

00:31:57.860 but the point is

00:31:58.700 our sisters are

00:31:59.800 being felt as

00:32:00.640 I'm not doing

00:32:01.540 nothing with my life

00:32:02.340 you are doing

00:32:03.020 the most amazing

00:32:03.960 thing a woman

00:32:04.940 could ever do

00:32:05.880 you're nurturing

00:32:06.700 the next generation

00:32:07.580 I'm doing my bit

00:32:08.580 you're doing your bit

00:32:09.260 don't let these

00:32:10.160 boss babe

00:32:11.060 feminist radicals

00:32:12.180 make you feel

00:32:13.180 that what you're

00:32:13.760 doing is rubbish

00:32:14.280 you're our child

00:32:15.540 bro come on

00:32:16.080 wallah it's ajib to me

00:32:17.200 that's what we're

00:32:17.800 talking about

00:32:18.140 but even regardless

00:32:19.260 I really think

00:32:20.100 that those stories

00:32:21.020 that they are

00:32:21.560 telling themselves

00:32:22.180 come from

00:32:22.940 the failed stories

00:32:24.120 that are around us

00:32:25.000 even if you don't

00:32:25.520 want to address it

00:32:26.260 that's where

00:32:26.920 they're coming about

00:32:27.660 I'm talking about

00:32:29.200 the women

00:32:29.660 that want to be

00:32:30.340 boss babes

00:32:30.900 because they want

00:32:31.740 to secure

00:32:32.260 themselves

00:32:33.620 so that if they

00:32:34.520 are in a marriage

00:32:35.660 their husbands

00:32:36.400 can't provide

00:32:37.060 or their husbands

00:32:38.280 leave them

00:32:38.960 or the fact that

00:32:40.000 their husbands

00:32:40.840 pass away

00:32:41.500 or there's an accident

00:32:42.240 they are able

00:32:43.160 to take care

00:32:44.040 this is valid

00:32:44.820 that's valid

00:32:47.060 we're not discussing

00:32:48.760 factors

00:32:49.380 factors are being brought up

00:32:50.560 we're not talking

00:32:51.400 about a situation

00:32:52.080 of a sister

00:32:52.640 who's married

00:32:53.500 and her husband

00:32:54.060 is not providing

00:32:54.540 I don't think

00:32:54.960 most women

00:32:55.420 want to be

00:32:56.000 those boss babes

00:32:56.800 that you're describing

00:32:57.420 of course

00:32:57.980 they don't

00:32:59.120 they only might

00:32:59.840 say it on top

00:33:00.560 because they're

00:33:01.320 not getting

00:33:01.720 the husband

00:33:02.040 that's not

00:33:02.360 even the conversation

00:33:03.120 no no but I get

00:33:03.800 what you're saying

00:33:04.080 you don't want

00:33:04.400 to get into

00:33:04.680 factors

00:33:05.020 but I'm just

00:33:05.560 saying that

00:33:06.180 those are important

00:33:07.100 we're talking about

00:33:07.340 factors here

00:33:07.960 we're talking

00:33:08.280 about boss babes

00:33:09.100 those factors

00:33:09.700 sorry let me just

00:33:10.360 let me just address

00:33:11.100 these two sisters

00:33:11.940 and what they're

00:33:12.420 actually talking about

00:33:13.000 because this is

00:33:13.660 actually a toxic

00:33:14.620 mentality that us

00:33:15.640 women are going

00:33:16.360 into marriages

00:33:16.920 with right

00:33:17.440 so as human beings

00:33:18.680 we focus on

00:33:19.960 what can harm us

00:33:20.900 it's our natural

00:33:21.800 instinct to protect

00:33:22.620 us against danger

00:33:23.460 right so we have

00:33:24.780 this sister that I

00:33:26.200 knew back in school

00:33:27.080 who got married

00:33:27.740 her husband beat

00:33:28.600 her she ended up

00:33:29.400 in a home

00:33:29.820 whatever you know

00:33:30.540 and we hear these

00:33:31.720 stories and we're

00:33:32.240 like just in case

00:33:33.680 I get married

00:33:34.760 and my husband

00:33:35.600 beats me

00:33:36.120 I gotta have a

00:33:36.880 backup plan

00:33:37.420 I gotta have an

00:33:37.960 exit strategy

00:33:38.620 you cannot enter

00:33:40.180 a marriage

00:33:40.820 with the fear

00:33:42.020 of Allah in your

00:33:43.060 heart

00:33:43.540 and say

00:33:44.360 I'm gonna go

00:33:45.240 into this marriage

00:33:45.900 preparing to leave

00:33:46.820 it

00:33:47.020 if you go into

00:33:48.180 a marriage

00:33:48.580 preparing to leave

00:33:49.300 it you haven't

00:33:49.880 even entered that

00:33:50.600 marriage

00:33:50.940 and so we're

00:33:51.600 entering these

00:33:52.140 marriages saying

00:33:52.600 I need a job

00:33:53.340 I need a career

00:33:54.220 I need a fallback

00:33:55.000 he's not gonna

00:33:55.480 pay for this

00:33:56.100 he's gonna leave

00:33:56.740 me he's gonna

00:33:57.260 cheat on me

00:33:57.740 he's gonna

00:33:58.060 whatever

00:33:58.340 why are we

00:34:00.060 like losing

00:34:00.980 our trust in

00:34:01.620 Allah that

00:34:02.080 we are

00:34:03.120 ourselves

00:34:03.900 wait if we

00:34:04.560 ourselves are

00:34:05.340 good

00:34:05.620 statistics are

00:34:05.900 showing it

00:34:06.480 at this very

00:34:07.080 moment

00:34:07.340 statistics are

00:34:07.980 showing that

00:34:08.560 a bunch of

00:34:09.080 men are cheating

00:34:09.700 and leaving

00:34:10.080 their wives

00:34:10.400 that's not the

00:34:11.020 majority

00:34:11.540 the divorce rate

00:34:12.140 has risen

00:34:13.040 why is it

00:34:15.040 raising it's not

00:34:15.780 because of this

00:34:16.500 it's not because

00:34:17.640 every man is

00:34:18.640 going out and

00:34:19.100 cheating

00:34:19.380 it's a very

00:34:20.380 valid point

00:34:20.840 also but look

00:34:21.680 let's have to

00:34:22.260 be just

00:34:22.560 Allah says be

00:34:23.120 just even if

00:34:23.540 it's against

00:34:23.760 yourself

00:34:24.020 look it can

00:34:26.020 be that men

00:34:26.700 are also one

00:34:28.020 of the factors

00:34:28.680 maybe that is

00:34:30.480 causing our

00:34:31.080 sisters to do

00:34:31.500 that but what's

00:34:32.300 happening is it's

00:34:33.100 becoming as if

00:34:33.740 it's a viral

00:34:34.940 infection

00:34:35.440 no a lot of

00:34:36.460 men provide

00:34:37.000 are there men

00:34:37.760 that don't

00:34:38.280 are they evil

00:34:38.940 of course

00:34:39.620 yeah but Ali

00:34:40.280 who's picking

00:34:41.340 those men

00:34:41.840 though

00:34:42.560 well

00:34:43.620 they don't

00:34:44.320 always show

00:34:44.820 up at the

00:34:45.200 beginning like

00:34:45.680 that

00:34:45.820 women are

00:34:46.700 picking those

00:34:47.080 men

00:34:47.300 yes it's true

00:34:47.960 you're making

00:34:48.600 bad decisions

00:34:49.220 you know the

00:34:50.880 pedestal that

00:34:51.440 you're putting

00:34:51.820 mothers and

00:34:52.380 wives on right

00:34:53.060 now it's

00:34:53.580 beautiful by the

00:34:54.240 way the way

00:34:54.780 that you're

00:34:55.140 explaining this

00:34:55.800 role this is

00:34:56.780 not how a lot

00:34:57.420 of men explain

00:34:58.520 the role even

00:34:59.080 Muslim men

00:34:59.600 they will be the

00:35:00.400 first ones to

00:35:00.920 put their wife

00:35:01.480 down and do

00:35:02.100 nothing

00:35:02.740 there's a lot

00:35:04.000 of men that

00:35:04.460 don't want

00:35:04.920 that

00:35:05.240 100% sister

00:35:08.020 what we're

00:35:08.680 saying is this

00:35:09.140 we're saying

00:35:10.180 that these

00:35:10.680 men look at

00:35:11.580 the end of

00:35:11.840 the day we

00:35:12.100 should be the

00:35:12.540 ones that

00:35:12.900 are encouraging

00:35:13.440 our wives

00:35:13.940 okay 100%

00:35:15.040 I understand

00:35:15.860 if a woman

00:35:16.380 is like you

00:35:16.860 know what

00:35:17.100 she's had a

00:35:17.460 father who

00:35:17.780 used to be

00:35:18.100 up the

00:35:18.320 mom and

00:35:18.980 she saw

00:35:19.340 this insecurity

00:35:20.020 understandable

00:35:21.020 it can

00:35:21.440 happen and

00:35:22.180 she's like I

00:35:22.760 have to you

00:35:23.620 know prepare

00:35:24.220 have a career

00:35:24.720 that's fine

00:35:25.660 you can go

00:35:26.080 do a degree

00:35:26.800 but but but

00:35:28.140 but to

00:35:28.780 then say you

00:35:29.840 know what

00:35:30.180 no I'm in

00:35:31.040 such fear that

00:35:32.100 I'm going to

00:35:32.680 work no no

00:35:33.100 hold on a second

00:35:33.480 I want you to

00:35:34.260 be a traditional

00:35:34.780 wife I want

00:35:35.220 to stay at

00:35:35.600 home look

00:35:36.060 after our

00:35:36.440 kids I

00:35:36.980 will provide

00:35:37.380 I have no

00:35:37.660 problem now

00:35:38.320 when you

00:35:38.620 come and

00:35:38.920 move boss

00:35:39.340 babe on

00:35:39.660 me we're

00:35:40.500 talking about

00:35:40.880 those kind

00:35:41.260 of women

00:35:41.580 please put

00:35:42.060 them into

00:35:42.260 that category

00:35:42.620 not those

00:35:43.480 we're talking

00:35:44.220 about boss

00:35:44.800 babes

00:35:45.340 feminist

00:35:45.760 radical

00:35:46.440 feminists

00:35:46.960 extremists

00:35:47.500 we'll call

00:35:48.020 them terrorists

00:35:48.360 if you like

00:35:48.720 here these

00:35:49.520 these kind

00:35:50.020 here call

00:35:50.340 them that

00:35:50.580 these women

00:35:51.360 we're talking

00:35:52.100 about who

00:35:52.420 are going

00:35:52.740 like no

00:35:53.480 I don't

00:35:53.960 need to

00:35:54.420 like you

00:35:54.880 talked about

00:35:55.240 they're

00:35:55.560 pretending

00:35:56.020 they're

00:35:56.460 pretending

00:35:56.920 I think

00:35:57.880 they're

00:35:58.120 pretending

00:35:58.460 yes

00:35:58.780 it can be

00:36:00.000 but the

00:36:00.460 thing is it's

00:36:00.860 coming at

00:36:01.320 the cost

00:36:01.660 our

00:36:01.860 sisters

00:36:02.220 it's been

00:36:02.520 infiltrating

00:36:03.120 their mind

00:36:03.520 they don't

00:36:04.020 want to be

00:36:04.360 a mother

00:36:04.720 or a wife

00:36:05.300 because it's

00:36:06.020 been vilified

00:36:06.740 when it comes

00:36:07.800 to issue

00:36:08.080 of job

00:36:08.920 gender roles

00:36:10.020 the thing

00:36:10.680 is this

00:36:11.080 would I

00:36:12.040 hoover the

00:36:12.520 house

00:36:12.780 yes

00:36:13.400 wash the

00:36:14.080 dishes

00:36:14.320 yes

00:36:14.960 I don't

00:36:16.660 know

00:36:16.800 whatever you

00:36:17.400 want

00:36:17.520 no no

00:36:18.940 let me

00:36:19.540 finish

00:36:19.740 I will

00:36:20.680 do that

00:36:21.080 if I

00:36:21.620 want to

00:36:22.840 I will

00:36:23.920 do that

00:36:24.240 if I

00:36:24.600 want to

00:36:24.840 what does

00:36:25.260 if I

00:36:25.440 want to

00:36:25.720 mean

00:36:25.920 if I

00:36:26.660 come home

00:36:27.180 and we've

00:36:28.620 got two

00:36:28.960 kids

00:36:29.300 argument

00:36:29.660 sake

00:36:29.920 and I

00:36:30.820 look at

00:36:31.060 my wife

00:36:31.400 she is

00:36:31.880 exhausted

00:36:32.360 finished

00:36:32.640 I've been

00:36:33.140 working

00:36:33.480 I've been

00:36:34.620 working

00:36:34.940 the thing

00:36:36.660 is

00:36:36.820 because we

00:36:37.300 don't see

00:36:37.540 what dads

00:36:37.980 do

00:36:38.260 I've been

00:36:39.080 working

00:36:39.520 and I

00:36:40.980 come home

00:36:41.440 and I

00:36:41.900 look

00:36:42.140 and I'm

00:36:42.600 like

00:36:42.680 the food

00:36:43.580 is ready

00:36:43.900 you know

00:36:44.520 what

00:36:44.760 I will

00:36:45.320 wash the

00:36:45.560 dishes

00:36:45.760 no problem

00:36:46.300 it's caring

00:36:47.120 we're not

00:36:47.500 animals

00:36:48.240 I'm not

00:36:48.760 going to

00:36:48.880 be like

00:36:49.140 I'm a

00:36:50.020 traditional

00:36:50.300 man

00:36:50.780 you're a

00:36:51.140 traditional

00:36:51.340 woman

00:36:51.640 shut up

00:36:52.260 come and

00:36:52.800 do this

00:36:53.000 and wash

00:36:53.240 my feet

00:36:53.560 after

00:36:53.840 no

00:36:54.380 I'm

00:36:54.680 going to

00:36:54.840 be like

00:36:55.120 hold on

00:36:55.360 a second

00:36:55.620 she looks

00:36:56.000 exhausted

00:36:56.640 you made

00:36:57.460 the food

00:36:57.740 are you

00:36:57.980 sitting

00:36:58.080 sit down

00:36:58.600 no problem

00:36:59.060 my discretion

00:37:00.380 not

00:37:00.800 by the way

00:37:01.880 you're going

00:37:02.180 if a woman

00:37:03.380 came to me

00:37:03.700 and said

00:37:03.860 I'm going to

00:37:04.280 wash the dishes

00:37:04.700 I'll say

00:37:05.140 forget you

00:37:06.060 wash the dishes

00:37:07.660 psychology

00:37:08.160 behind the

00:37:08.800 boss babe

00:37:09.360 is because

00:37:09.900 they're just

00:37:10.420 trying to

00:37:11.000 fit into

00:37:11.820 their narrative

00:37:12.940 of where

00:37:13.400 they are

00:37:13.820 right now

00:37:14.340 and to

00:37:14.780 make it

00:37:15.080 look okay

00:37:15.640 but if

00:37:16.360 they were

00:37:16.840 given the

00:37:17.320 opportunity

00:37:17.900 to be

00:37:18.840 with somebody

00:37:19.460 who fits

00:37:20.480 or match

00:37:21.100 them or

00:37:21.400 whatever it

00:37:21.780 is that

00:37:22.020 was

00:37:22.280 they would

00:37:22.640 actually

00:37:22.860 take the

00:37:23.260 opportunity

00:37:23.660 a lot of

00:37:24.560 women will

00:37:25.100 actually take

00:37:25.760 that

00:37:25.960 but it's

00:37:26.420 just that

00:37:26.760 they're not

00:37:27.180 in that

00:37:27.460 role

00:37:27.660 they're just

00:37:28.340 doing it

00:37:28.760 if there

00:37:29.620 is a

00:37:29.860 man

00:37:30.060 a real

00:37:30.720 man

00:37:31.180 yeah

00:37:31.340 which

00:37:32.020 don't exist

00:37:32.500 you know

00:37:32.820 and he's

00:37:34.740 like

00:37:34.840 I will

00:37:36.080 provide

00:37:36.440 I will

00:37:36.760 protect

00:37:37.040 good man

00:37:37.780 because the

00:37:38.540 studies show

00:37:39.020 that

00:37:39.200 James

00:37:39.520 too

00:37:39.660 it's also

00:37:39.900 about

00:37:40.020 in his

00:37:40.220 book

00:37:40.380 mis-education

00:37:40.880 women

00:37:41.120 that women

00:37:41.880 tend to be

00:37:42.380 they want

00:37:42.660 to be at

00:37:42.880 home

00:37:43.020 we don't

00:37:44.040 want to

00:37:44.340 work

00:37:44.460 so all

00:37:46.360 our sisters

00:37:47.140 are saying

00:37:47.480 is this

00:37:47.740 brothers

00:37:47.980 where are

00:37:48.840 they

00:37:49.120 if there's

00:37:49.780 real men

00:37:50.340 we don't

00:37:52.120 mind being

00:37:52.660 traditional

00:37:53.080 wives

00:37:53.340 is that

00:37:53.520 correct

00:37:53.780 are you

00:37:54.640 sure

00:37:54.780 about that

00:37:55.020 can I

00:37:55.820 just

00:37:56.000 interject

00:37:56.360 but I

00:37:56.920 would also

00:37:57.280 like a

00:37:57.720 life

00:37:57.980 also

00:37:58.600 slightly

00:37:59.080 more

00:37:59.620 than

00:37:59.840 that

00:38:00.080 because

00:38:00.420 I

00:38:00.820 feel

00:38:01.080 having

00:38:01.340 a

00:38:01.540 career

00:38:01.840 is

00:38:02.100 also

00:38:02.340 good

00:38:02.580 for

00:38:02.740 you

00:38:02.840 because

00:38:07.040 you're

00:38:09.720 also

00:38:10.000 minimizing

00:38:11.120 what

00:38:11.660 women

00:38:11.980 should

00:38:12.320 and

00:38:12.540 shouldn't

00:38:12.880 do

00:38:13.140 as a

00:38:13.500 career

00:38:13.920 I

00:38:14.880 think

00:38:15.340 you're

00:38:16.300 going

00:38:16.500 to

00:38:16.660 the

00:38:16.920 extreme

00:38:17.320 on

00:38:17.500 this

00:38:17.660 right

00:38:17.820 so

00:38:18.020 you

00:38:18.340 need

00:38:18.780 to

00:38:18.960 balance

00:38:19.300 in

00:38:19.580 life

00:38:19.820 because

00:38:20.740 you're

00:38:21.100 like

00:38:21.300 you can

00:38:21.840 only

00:38:22.140 do

00:38:22.380 these

00:38:22.660 things

00:38:22.980 that

00:38:23.180 stay

00:38:23.360 at

00:38:23.480 home

00:38:23.620 and

00:38:23.780 I

00:38:23.880 don't

00:38:24.060 think

00:38:24.240 that's

00:38:24.480 correct

00:38:24.720 what I

00:38:25.020 think

00:38:26.220 is

00:38:27.180 correct

00:38:27.620 is

00:38:27.920 that

00:38:28.240 we

00:38:28.760 know

00:38:29.100 our

00:38:29.380 roles

00:38:29.680 we

00:38:29.880 know

00:38:30.080 our

00:38:30.280 duties

00:38:30.560 given

00:38:30.800 to

00:38:30.960 us

00:38:31.100 by

00:38:31.420 Allah

00:38:31.780 and

00:38:32.320 those

00:38:32.600 are

00:38:32.760 our

00:38:32.920 priorities

00:38:33.320 so

00:38:37.040 first

00:38:37.260 priority

00:38:37.660 is

00:38:38.000 the

00:38:38.180 home

00:38:38.440 you

00:38:39.100 can't

00:38:39.540 go

00:38:39.700 out

00:38:39.900 and

00:38:40.080 get

00:38:40.200 a

00:38:40.320 career

00:38:40.680 and

00:38:40.940 a

00:38:41.060 job

00:38:41.360 and

00:38:41.520 be

00:38:41.660 like

00:38:41.920 oh

00:38:42.600 well

00:38:42.820 now

00:38:43.060 you're

00:38:43.240 going

00:38:43.320 to

00:38:43.400 split

00:38:43.600 the

00:38:43.740 work

00:38:43.900 50-50

00:38:44.440 with

00:38:44.620 me

00:38:44.700 at

00:38:44.800 home

00:38:44.900 because

00:38:45.100 it's

00:38:45.340 not

00:38:45.640 his

00:38:46.000 responsibility

00:38:46.820 Allah

00:38:47.440 has

00:38:47.720 told

00:38:48.000 him

00:38:48.140 you

00:38:48.300 must

00:38:48.560 provide

00:38:48.960 for

00:38:49.100 your

00:38:49.200 family

00:38:49.560 and

00:38:49.800 you

00:38:49.940 are

00:38:50.080 hindering

00:38:50.880 him

00:38:51.100 from

00:38:51.260 doing

00:38:51.520 that

00:38:51.700 but

00:38:52.260 if

00:38:52.660 your

00:38:52.920 life

00:38:53.300 balances

00:38:54.360 that

00:38:54.680 you

00:38:54.920 can

00:38:55.240 work

00:38:55.560 and

00:38:55.780 still

00:38:56.080 take

00:38:56.380 care

00:38:56.580 of

00:38:56.700 the

00:38:56.820 home

00:39:07.040 optional

00:39:07.480 whereas

00:39:07.760 he's

00:39:08.020 doing

00:39:08.200 something

00:39:08.500 that

00:39:08.680 is

00:39:08.800 mandatory

00:39:09.220 upon

00:39:09.720 him

00:39:09.920 by

00:39:10.220 Allah

00:39:10.560 commanded

00:39:11.120 by

00:39:11.440 Allah

00:39:11.780 and

00:39:12.380 so

00:39:12.500 it

00:39:12.620 comes

00:39:12.800 with

00:39:12.940 balance

00:39:13.180 it

00:39:13.280 doesn't

00:39:13.420 matter

00:39:13.560 what

00:39:13.740 job

00:39:13.960 she's

00:39:14.140 doing

00:39:14.260 that's

00:39:14.460 don't

00:39:14.680 say

00:39:14.800 painting

00:39:15.180 or

00:39:15.420 sewing

00:39:15.980 I know

00:39:16.760 but

00:39:16.900 you're

00:39:17.040 like

00:39:17.220 you can

00:39:17.920 only do

00:39:18.240 things

00:39:18.440 from home

00:39:18.860 that's

00:39:19.100 not true

00:39:19.520 but it's

00:39:21.720 your responsibility

00:39:22.480 as a woman

00:39:23.320 to prioritize

00:39:24.380 the duties

00:39:25.160 that Allah

00:39:25.620 has given

00:39:26.120 you

00:39:26.340 if you so

00:39:27.040 choose with

00:39:27.560 your husband

00:39:27.960 to do

00:39:28.320 that

00:39:28.520 you don't

00:39:29.080 have to

00:39:29.300 do

00:39:29.420 one

00:39:29.700 specific

00:39:30.180 career

00:39:30.580 or job

00:39:37.040 I'm not

00:39:43.320 gonna

00:39:43.520 I'm not

00:39:43.860 gonna

00:39:44.000 marry

00:39:44.260 a doctor

00:39:44.880 who's

00:39:45.520 on call

00:39:46.180 and I

00:39:46.880 come home

00:39:47.240 she's

00:39:47.560 more

00:39:47.780 exhausted

00:39:48.200 than

00:39:48.440 me

00:39:48.740 yeah

00:39:49.000 but

00:39:49.120 doctors

00:39:49.500 don't

00:39:49.700 have

00:39:49.920 to

00:39:50.000 be

00:39:50.120 that

00:39:50.280 they

00:39:50.460 could

00:39:50.600 she

00:39:50.760 could

00:39:50.940 leave

00:39:51.160 that

00:39:51.300 and

00:39:51.440 work

00:39:51.620 in

00:40:07.040 her

00:40:08.380 household

00:40:08.860 is her

00:40:09.220 business

00:40:09.620 she should

00:40:10.800 run that

00:40:11.080 like her

00:40:11.400 business

00:40:11.740 therefore

00:40:12.400 if she

00:40:12.680 wants to

00:40:12.980 take on

00:40:13.360 additional

00:40:13.740 work

00:40:14.100 like the

00:40:14.600 sister

00:40:14.780 just said

00:40:15.300 she would

00:40:16.060 need to

00:40:16.360 manage

00:40:16.620 that

00:40:16.820 time

00:40:17.120 it might

00:40:17.560 be one

00:40:17.920 hour

00:40:18.240 if that's

00:40:18.640 all she

00:40:18.860 can

00:40:19.020 handle

00:40:19.240 sister

00:40:21.320 why is

00:40:21.800 she doing

00:40:22.140 this

00:40:22.340 I don't

00:40:23.440 know

00:40:23.660 I'm not

00:40:24.000 her

00:40:24.180 she has

00:40:24.640 a drive

00:40:26.340 to serve

00:40:29.040 she's

00:40:29.380 qualified

00:40:29.900 she's

00:40:30.400 skilled

00:40:30.820 she might

00:40:31.760 want

00:40:32.060 just to

00:40:32.460 drive

00:40:32.920 she's

00:40:35.960 already

00:40:36.160 said it

00:40:36.620 we have

00:40:37.760 a meaning

00:40:38.280 in life

00:40:39.100 each one

00:40:39.560 of us

00:40:39.940 and a

00:40:40.260 purpose

00:40:40.640 to serve

00:40:41.800 even our

00:40:42.720 communities

00:40:43.420 right

00:40:43.900 and if

00:40:44.180 we have

00:40:44.460 a skill

00:40:45.060 to serve

00:40:45.940 others

00:40:46.460 it's also

00:40:47.160 part of

00:40:47.600 it's not

00:40:47.840 just for

00:40:48.100 the men

00:40:48.480 to go

00:40:48.800 outside

00:40:49.060 and serve

00:40:49.540 I'm sorry

00:40:50.560 brother Zeeshan

00:40:51.180 you can't

00:40:51.620 answer why

00:40:52.120 women want

00:40:52.600 this

00:40:52.720 we can

00:40:53.080 answer

00:40:53.400 so I

00:40:53.900 myself

00:40:54.400 have been

00:40:54.840 working

00:40:55.160 in film

00:40:55.960 since I

00:40:56.340 was 16

00:40:56.820 years old

00:40:57.280 I love

00:40:57.740 it

00:40:57.880 it's my

00:40:58.420 passion

00:40:58.900 it's my

00:40:59.420 joy

00:41:00.140 yes I

00:41:00.920 love being

00:41:01.320 a mother

00:41:01.620 yes I

00:41:02.020 love being

00:41:02.420 at home

00:41:02.760 and I

00:41:02.980 love feeding

00:41:03.440 my family

00:41:04.000 but I

00:41:05.080 love it

00:41:05.580 if I

00:41:06.080 want to

00:41:06.780 do a

00:41:07.540 short film

00:41:08.040 project here

00:41:08.740 that works

00:41:09.240 within my

00:41:09.640 daughter's

00:41:10.120 schedule

00:41:10.420 and it

00:41:10.780 works with

00:41:11.140 my life

00:41:11.640 cool I

00:41:12.500 can do

00:41:12.680 that because

00:41:12.960 it makes

00:41:13.340 me happy

00:41:13.840 and as

00:41:14.300 women we

00:41:14.700 can do

00:41:15.060 things that

00:41:15.520 make us

00:41:15.840 happy

00:41:16.000 they might

00:41:16.700 be moments

00:41:17.380 but I wasn't

00:41:18.040 going to say

00:41:18.440 that though

00:41:18.820 sister Nailah

00:41:20.020 your daughter

00:41:20.460 is seven

00:41:20.900 we're talking

00:41:21.340 about different

00:41:21.640 dynamics

00:41:21.980 if you have

00:41:22.700 moments

00:41:23.260 if we have

00:41:24.720 a child

00:41:25.960 you're not

00:41:26.740 going to be

00:41:26.940 able to do

00:41:27.160 no movies

00:41:27.660 you're not

00:41:27.960 going to be

00:41:28.520 able to do

00:41:28.880 it sister

00:41:29.080 Nailah

00:41:29.320 operation is

00:41:30.460 impossible

00:41:30.820 what we're

00:41:31.480 saying is

00:41:31.740 you said

00:41:34.420 oh no but

00:41:35.020 we can offer

00:41:35.620 society more

00:41:37.140 forget society

00:41:37.800 man

00:41:38.000 Allah says

00:41:38.680 in the Quran

00:41:38.920 save yourself

00:41:39.480 and your

00:41:39.720 family from

00:41:40.040 the fire

00:41:40.320 why is it

00:41:42.200 that my

00:41:42.880 husband be

00:41:43.440 in a house

00:41:43.920 wife

00:41:44.460 a mother

00:41:45.080 why is this

00:41:46.160 not a success

00:41:47.020 that is the

00:41:47.640 problem we're

00:41:48.080 talking about

00:41:48.460 I didn't say

00:41:50.140 it's also

00:41:53.080 having that

00:41:54.400 success is

00:41:55.180 also in the

00:41:55.940 house could

00:41:56.460 you actually

00:41:56.880 providing in

00:41:57.640 the house

00:41:57.960 you're setting

00:41:58.620 sort of

00:41:59.240 standards in

00:41:59.900 the house

00:42:00.220 you would not

00:42:00.820 want to go

00:42:01.300 and be

00:42:01.540 something else

00:42:02.280 I'm saying

00:42:02.920 but humans

00:42:03.780 can are able

00:42:04.720 to do that

00:42:05.280 they may not

00:42:06.540 be able to

00:42:06.860 do it every

00:42:07.400 single day

00:42:07.880 for six

00:42:08.300 seven ten

00:42:08.780 years

00:42:09.240 maybe they'll

00:42:10.020 have breaks

00:42:10.540 like you said

00:42:11.160 right

00:42:11.580 that's what

00:42:12.340 it is

00:42:12.680 success is

00:42:13.540 not the same

00:42:14.040 as happiness

00:42:14.500 right

00:42:14.860 additional

00:42:15.580 happiness

00:42:15.940 that is like

00:42:16.480 saying okay

00:42:17.320 because your

00:42:18.040 duty

00:42:18.400 is to go

00:42:18.860 out and

00:42:19.120 provide

00:42:19.420 you're not

00:42:20.000 allowed to

00:42:20.280 do anything

00:42:20.660 else other

00:42:21.280 than go

00:42:21.520 out and

00:42:21.740 provide

00:42:22.080 nothing else

00:42:22.980 nothing for

00:42:23.700 fun

00:42:23.860 nothing at all

00:42:25.020 I tell my

00:42:25.580 wife here

00:42:25.960 she's a

00:42:26.300 teacher

00:42:26.720 as long as

00:42:28.120 you're doing

00:42:28.500 that you can

00:42:29.080 do other

00:42:29.380 things too

00:42:29.820 I tell my

00:42:32.220 wife

00:42:32.440 she's a

00:42:33.560 teacher

00:42:33.780 I tell her

00:42:34.680 if our kids

00:42:35.140 grow up

00:42:35.640 you want to

00:42:35.880 go back to

00:42:36.140 teaching

00:42:36.380 as long as

00:42:39.020 it doesn't

00:42:39.540 violate my

00:42:40.180 rights

00:42:40.520 so what I'm

00:42:41.960 saying is

00:42:42.220 if you want

00:42:42.680 to be juggling

00:42:43.580 two things

00:42:44.180 as long as

00:42:45.480 it doesn't

00:42:46.020 for example

00:42:46.600 the husband

00:42:47.000 comes home

00:42:47.500 oh

00:42:48.040 so sorry

00:42:49.000 we're trying

00:42:49.560 to learn

00:42:49.800 here

00:42:50.000 if he wants

00:42:54.420 intimacy

00:42:54.780 oh I'm

00:42:55.660 tired

00:42:56.060 you're violating

00:42:57.060 my rights

00:42:57.540 now

00:42:57.820 you are

00:42:58.620 violating

00:42:59.120 my rights

00:42:59.760 now

00:43:00.000 because they've

00:43:00.440 said multiple

00:43:01.000 times

00:43:01.440 that if you

00:43:02.980 can manage

00:43:03.640 the time

00:43:04.060 effectively

00:43:04.640 whereby your

00:43:05.660 obligations

00:43:06.720 and duties

00:43:07.340 am I right

00:43:07.780 in saying

00:43:08.160 exactly

00:43:08.860 if your

00:43:09.420 obligations

00:43:09.900 and duties

00:43:10.540 are never

00:43:11.620 ever

00:43:11.920 compromised

00:43:12.880 as a woman

00:43:13.880 so that

00:43:14.580 doesn't happen

00:43:15.180 okay

00:43:15.480 okay you know

00:43:16.300 what's going

00:43:16.800 to happen

00:43:17.000 eventually

00:43:17.800 okay look

00:43:18.480 you know

00:43:18.620 what that's

00:43:18.820 a superwoman

00:43:19.300 that's a superwoman

00:43:20.160 let's call it a superwoman

00:43:20.920 if she can do that

00:43:22.080 oh good

00:43:22.920 I know

00:43:23.960 at one place

00:43:24.860 it's going to crack

00:43:25.420 I can't manage both

00:43:26.600 and what's going to happen

00:43:27.620 it's going to come at

00:43:28.400 the cost of my rights

00:43:29.720 being violated

00:43:30.720 so we're just seeing this

00:43:31.860 and this stems from where

00:43:32.800 oh being a mother

00:43:34.840 no no I need to do better

00:43:35.940 why do you need to do better

00:43:37.260 it's not about being better

00:43:38.540 it's not about better

00:43:39.740 can I just come in really quickly

00:43:41.040 the last

00:43:41.360 eight minutes

00:43:42.860 and let's talk about

00:43:43.740 social

00:43:43.920 after this brother

00:43:45.660 I'd like to hear

00:43:46.380 whether the

00:43:46.860 because we've heard

00:43:47.540 how passionate you are

00:43:48.560 that women can't handle both

00:43:49.880 I'd like to hear

00:43:50.440 whether the other brothers

00:43:51.240 think that women could

00:43:52.260 have a small job

00:43:53.780 on the side

00:43:54.220 with their home

00:43:54.720 I'm going to give you guys

00:43:55.480 ten minutes

00:43:56.840 right can I just

00:43:57.740 address a couple points

00:43:58.960 just very quickly

00:43:59.780 the nanny comment

00:44:00.880 right

00:44:01.580 you're no longer

00:44:02.660 bringing up the job

00:44:03.220 that's the nanny doing that

00:44:04.160 because you're spending

00:44:04.880 what two three hours

00:44:05.640 with the kid

00:44:06.020 then they're going to sleep

00:44:06.840 then they're going back

00:44:07.380 to the nanny

00:44:07.860 so you're not doing your job

00:44:09.080 or the grandparent

00:44:09.300 again you're not doing

00:44:11.000 that's the grandparent

00:44:11.700 even still

00:44:12.220 you know at the end of the day

00:44:13.540 there may be moments

00:44:15.380 not the whole time

00:44:16.800 that's not enough

00:44:17.500 the mother

00:44:18.400 the mother

00:44:19.120 the priority isn't

00:44:21.200 the career

00:44:23.180 but the priority

00:44:24.720 let me carry on though

00:44:25.460 sorry

00:44:26.700 right

00:44:27.240 so that's the nanny comment

00:44:28.920 I've addressed that

00:44:30.000 number two

00:44:31.200 we said

00:44:31.980 that

00:44:32.980 oh if

00:44:34.100 the mother's tired

00:44:35.200 and then

00:44:35.720 somebody said

00:44:36.440 that they wouldn't do

00:44:37.320 the dishes

00:44:37.700 for example

00:44:38.160 right

00:44:38.700 the prophet

00:44:40.200 the prophet

00:44:40.220 used to help

00:44:41.260 like sometimes

00:44:44.800 in the house

00:44:45.280 right

00:44:45.640 he'd come in

00:44:46.360 he'd help her

00:44:46.840 with the

00:44:47.380 with the

00:44:48.000 with the cooking

00:44:49.400 and what not

00:44:49.780 in fact

00:44:50.420 she came with the hadim

00:44:51.440 and said that he would

00:44:52.280 cooking

00:44:52.840 mending the clothes

00:44:54.280 yeah

00:44:54.680 oh right

00:44:55.100 so he'd help her

00:44:56.060 with the jobs

00:44:57.060 in the house

00:44:57.460 right

00:44:57.720 and he'd come in

00:44:58.940 he'd kiss her

00:44:59.700 and he'd say

00:45:00.220 say Mike

00:45:01.020 and all the rest of it

00:45:01.680 and then he'd help her

00:45:02.360 in the house

00:45:02.740 right

00:45:03.100 we're not saying

00:45:03.640 if you know

00:45:04.720 if you're tired

00:45:05.380 and there's too much

00:45:06.120 we wouldn't help at all

00:45:07.060 what we're saying

00:45:08.300 is

00:45:08.740 you're going to your job

00:45:09.900 8-10 hours

00:45:11.440 right

00:45:12.060 and

00:45:12.460 with transport

00:45:13.640 and all the rest of it

00:45:14.260 right

00:45:14.500 8-10 hours

00:45:15.660 and then you're coming

00:45:16.320 8-10 hours

00:45:16.660 who says that

00:45:17.460 well you get 8 hour jobs

00:45:19.320 right

00:45:19.740 right

00:45:21.260 anyway

00:45:21.740 anyway

00:45:22.020 let me just

00:45:22.460 right

00:45:22.760 so

00:45:23.140 so you go to job

00:45:24.440 6 hours a day

00:45:25.520 6 hours a day

00:45:26.240 yeah

00:45:26.440 why even that much

00:45:27.800 let's just say

00:45:29.020 I'm saying a full time job

00:45:30.520 for a woman

00:45:31.840 for a woman

00:45:32.780 for a woman

00:45:34.380 who's career driven

00:45:35.140 she's going to try

00:45:36.020 and go for a full time job

00:45:36.940 if she's going to a full time job

00:45:38.720 the issue is

00:45:39.560 that she's going to come home

00:45:40.420 she's tired

00:45:40.920 right

00:45:41.960 she's going to come home

00:45:42.920 she's tired

00:45:43.340 she can't carry on

00:45:44.320 with everything else

00:45:44.760 which is fine

00:45:45.240 because she's human

00:45:45.900 we're saying she's human

00:45:47.100 what you're doing

00:45:48.560 is you're saying

00:45:49.240 no she can go to a full time job

00:45:50.840 this is what the feminists do

00:45:51.560 they come in

00:45:52.260 and they say

00:45:52.580 she can

00:45:53.240 I'm not a feminist

00:45:53.980 right

00:45:54.360 let me just

00:45:54.920 let me just

00:45:55.620 let me just finish

00:45:56.260 she comes in

00:45:57.120 and she says

00:45:57.680 hey

00:45:58.020 I've got a full time job

00:45:59.360 right

00:45:59.880 and I'm spending

00:46:01.040 this amount of hours working

00:46:02.200 and I'm getting this

00:46:03.100 this income

00:46:04.080 whatever

00:46:04.440 but I've got two kids

00:46:06.040 okay

00:46:06.740 the issue here

00:46:07.880 is now

00:46:08.260 she's going to come home

00:46:09.320 the guys

00:46:10.120 because of cultural

00:46:11.560 social norms

00:46:12.160 whatever you want to call it

00:46:13.180 the guy's going to say

00:46:14.240 right

00:46:14.540 well

00:46:14.880 the house is not done

00:46:16.420 she's now going to go

00:46:17.680 through the mental process

00:46:18.540 of right

00:46:19.000 so I've just worked

00:46:19.820 eight hours

00:46:20.420 six hours

00:46:21.120 two hours

00:46:21.960 and now

00:46:22.740 I've got eight hours

00:46:23.740 to work at the house

00:46:25.840 she's going to spend

00:46:26.600 no time with the kid

00:46:27.260 no time with her husband

00:46:28.240 by the time she spends

00:46:29.080 time with her husband

00:46:29.520 she's sleeping

00:46:30.100 now let me

00:46:30.920 let me wrap up

00:46:31.700 really quickly

00:46:32.180 when you've

00:46:33.400 when you're career driven

00:46:34.500 the issue is

00:46:35.100 you don't spend time

00:46:35.700 with the kid

00:46:36.020 so the kid's being brought

00:46:36.760 by what

00:46:37.160 media

00:46:37.600 nanny

00:46:38.480 right

00:46:38.920 you can't want to

00:46:40.320 100% make sure

00:46:41.020 the nanny's doing

00:46:41.520 the right thing

00:46:42.020 right

00:46:42.560 whatever else

00:46:44.120 right

00:46:44.540 and number two

00:46:45.580 you're not spending time

00:46:46.960 with the husband

00:46:47.400 you're violating his rights

00:46:48.400 so now he's going to

00:46:49.180 step into your role

00:46:50.000 which makes the man

00:46:51.920 more effeminate

00:46:53.440 right

00:46:53.680 and it makes you

00:46:54.260 more masculine

00:46:54.760 because you need

00:46:55.180 to compensate

00:46:55.720 so the issue here

00:46:57.340 is you're like

00:46:58.680 oh the career

00:46:59.200 career

00:46:59.440 career

00:46:59.640 career

00:46:59.900 when

00:47:00.440 we're coming

00:47:01.760 from the angle

00:47:02.340 of you don't need it

00:47:03.440 because we're trying

00:47:04.180 to provide for you

00:47:04.800 well let's see if we can

00:47:05.600 find men

00:47:05.980 this is why

00:47:06.600 this is why

00:47:07.200 very very last point

00:47:08.560 very last point

00:47:09.220 this is why

00:47:10.240 Allah and the Prophet

00:47:11.740 as well as said

00:47:12.460 the money of the woman

00:47:13.800 is hers

00:47:14.580 you don't touch it

00:47:15.260 that has got nothing

00:47:16.480 to do with you

00:47:17.200 that's why for example

00:47:18.320 women get less inheritance

00:47:19.320 because it's all theirs

00:47:20.840 they do whatever

00:47:21.300 they want with it

00:47:21.800 therefore

00:47:22.360 therefore

00:47:23.140 I mean

00:47:23.620 I agree with everything

00:47:25.280 that you're saying

00:47:25.840 there's nothing

00:47:26.380 that you said

00:47:26.880 which we've disagreed

00:47:27.740 with

00:47:28.040 not me anyway

00:47:29.240 and

00:47:30.060 we're coming back

00:47:31.840 around to the same

00:47:32.500 thing again

00:47:33.020 which is that

00:47:33.680 okay so there is

00:47:34.680 a distinct difference

00:47:35.640 between

00:47:36.100 a few different things

00:47:37.580 that I think we've

00:47:38.060 covered

00:47:38.320 so there's career

00:47:39.400 so a woman having

00:47:40.400 a career

00:47:40.820 that's somebody

00:47:41.380 who you said

00:47:41.940 is climbing a ladder

00:47:43.140 it's a

00:47:43.720 there's an obvious

00:47:44.840 progression that's

00:47:46.200 going on there

00:47:46.740 and it's an obvious

00:47:47.440 orientation that they have

00:47:49.420 yeah

00:47:49.620 it's something they're

00:47:50.480 very focused on

00:47:51.200 it's a career

00:47:51.680 then a woman could

00:47:53.160 have a job

00:47:53.620 just a J-O-B

00:47:54.880 something that makes

00:47:55.660 you money

00:47:56.060 yeah

00:47:56.440 for whatever reason

00:47:58.040 she might need that

00:47:58.840 then you have a third

00:48:00.460 scenario which is what

00:48:01.360 you were talking about

00:48:02.080 which is where we're

00:48:02.660 not equating success

00:48:03.800 with happiness

00:48:04.660 so for example

00:48:05.680 a man can go and

00:48:07.000 provide for you

00:48:07.780 he can go and do

00:48:08.420 all of those things

00:48:09.220 you can be happy

00:48:10.180 with that

00:48:10.660 you don't need to

00:48:11.660 prove anything

00:48:12.180 you're happy with

00:48:12.960 your role as well

00:48:13.800 but maybe you want

00:48:14.700 a hobby

00:48:15.080 this hobby happens

00:48:16.080 to make you money

00:48:16.780 that's fine

00:48:17.120 we didn't say that

00:48:17.760 what we're saying

00:48:18.500 is when it starts

00:48:19.460 to become a detriment

00:48:20.760 to the home

00:48:21.380 but it wouldn't

00:48:21.960 that's what I mean

00:48:22.920 but that's what I mean

00:48:23.520 exactly as long as it

00:48:24.780 doesn't

00:48:25.180 then it's not an issue

00:48:25.960 is it

00:48:26.340 okay guys

00:48:26.880 look look

00:48:27.360 this can go on

00:48:27.820 forever

00:48:28.020 we're gonna put

00:48:28.480 probably part two

00:48:29.100 yeah because you don't

00:48:29.860 think that woman

00:48:30.420 can do more than one

00:48:31.140 so basically a woman

00:48:31.880 can't leave the house

00:48:32.780 yeah we shouldn't

00:48:33.600 leave the house

00:48:34.140 I don't understand

00:48:34.620 what the point was

00:48:35.400 what was the like

00:48:37.260 the point of what

00:48:38.100 was being said

00:48:39.200 that success is not

00:48:40.860 the same as happiness

00:48:41.960 this is what she was

00:48:42.660 trying to say

00:48:43.160 which is that

00:48:43.720 okay we're talking

00:48:45.380 about um

00:48:46.160 from your

00:48:46.780 the way you guys

00:48:47.680 are explaining these

00:48:48.580 women who want to work

00:48:49.680 right you're talking

00:48:50.560 about how can they

00:48:51.280 not see what they

00:48:52.060 have already as success

00:48:53.340 yeah and it's like

00:48:54.860 no she completely

00:48:55.720 thinks that's

00:48:56.140 raising a family

00:48:56.820 she is completely

00:48:57.840 happy and feeling

00:48:58.700 successful with her

00:48:59.520 daughter

00:48:59.800 okay

00:49:00.100 but she wants to go

00:49:03.140 and make a film

00:49:03.800 because that's her

00:49:04.480 passion and she's

00:49:05.240 like you know what

00:49:05.740 this is this is not

00:49:07.120 going to interfere

00:49:07.740 if it was she

00:49:08.700 wouldn't do it

00:49:09.280 all right so so

00:49:10.180 so here we're talking

00:49:12.020 about passions but

00:49:14.420 when it comes to a

00:49:15.220 man exercising his

00:49:16.580 passions no he needs

00:49:17.580 to control himself

00:49:18.440 so when it comes

00:49:20.280 who do you mean

00:49:21.300 if i can just if i

00:49:22.400 can just finish my

00:49:23.060 point because it

00:49:24.140 was in the previous

00:49:24.720 episode oh when it

00:49:25.800 comes to you know

00:49:26.660 having another wife

00:49:27.540 or fulfilling men

00:49:28.960 need to control

00:49:29.560 themselves men need

00:49:30.480 to be like this

00:49:31.160 that's extreme

00:49:31.960 i don't think i

00:49:33.300 don't think it's

00:49:34.060 the reason i'm

00:49:34.680 saying i don't

00:49:35.160 think it's extreme

00:49:35.860 if the argument

00:49:36.560 no no i'm not

00:49:37.160 no no no

00:49:37.740 if the argument

00:49:38.180 that they're having

00:49:38.940 no because on

00:49:39.740 the on the one

00:49:40.340 hand yeah on

00:49:42.020 the on the one

00:49:42.580 hand it's a

00:49:43.060 passion like i have

00:49:44.020 a passion to do a

00:49:44.920 job yeah you you

00:49:46.220 want to do something

00:49:47.160 so on the one

00:49:47.900 hand we're told

00:49:48.460 to kind of

00:49:48.900 control certain

00:49:49.680 things on the

00:49:50.320 other hand we're

00:49:51.220 saying no no no

00:49:51.920 over here it's

00:49:52.620 natural and we

00:49:53.360 should do it but

00:49:54.320 islamically the

00:49:55.620 community is always

00:49:56.960 put above the

00:49:57.920 individual and here

00:49:59.280 we've been talking

00:50:00.060 a lot about well

00:50:00.980 individually i might

00:50:01.940 want to do this and

00:50:02.660 i'm and i'm and i

00:50:04.020 might want to do

00:50:04.980 that but if we

00:50:05.840 actually look at the

00:50:06.560 community that we're

00:50:07.360 actually living in

00:50:08.080 we've admitted that

00:50:09.040 social media is very

00:50:09.840 powerful we've

00:50:10.740 admitted that films

00:50:11.600 and movies are very

00:50:12.320 powerful where we

00:50:13.840 we hopefully admit

00:50:15.700 that the education

00:50:16.620 system is it's

00:50:18.760 it's like a

00:50:19.460 colonized curriculum

00:50:20.720 injected with lgbt

00:50:22.800 and all of this so

00:50:23.840 we are now having to

00:50:24.900 undo all of this how

00:50:26.120 is this going to

00:50:26.840 happen when we're

00:50:28.360 not at home we're

00:50:29.620 doing other stuff i

00:50:31.160 think to understand on

00:50:32.620 a macro level this is

00:50:34.180 what's happening to the

00:50:35.080 children this is the

00:50:36.520 ward that's happening

00:50:37.360 to the marital

00:50:38.060 relationship priority

00:50:40.040 again i'm i haven't

00:50:42.460 completed the point

00:50:43.240 that i'm saying

00:50:43.700 priority should be

00:50:45.000 going to maintaining

00:50:46.640 the marriage because

00:50:47.640 of the forces that

00:50:48.600 are at play breaking

00:50:49.740 the couples apart

00:50:50.660 it should be given

00:50:52.700 to the kids because

00:50:53.840 of the amount of

00:50:54.720 indoctrination they

00:50:55.640 need your time they

00:50:56.700 need a mother and

00:50:57.440 the father not a

00:50:58.400 nanny not a

00:50:59.300 grandmother not a

00:51:00.420 grandfather they need

00:51:01.440 a mother and the

00:51:02.180 father because the

00:51:03.260 child the the person

00:51:05.480 that treats the child

00:51:06.880 the best is typically

00:51:08.400 the mother and the

00:51:09.300 father they cannot get

00:51:10.820 that love from an

00:51:11.520 uncle or an aunt

00:51:12.220 i wish i could find

00:51:12.900 men that actually

00:51:13.640 thought like that

00:51:14.340 because to be honest

00:51:15.060 majority of men want

00:51:16.300 women to work today

00:51:17.680 right no no no

00:51:18.840 they're not real men

00:51:19.640 but let me finish the

00:51:21.460 point that's a lot of

00:51:22.920 them that's a lot of

00:51:24.140 them guys we're going

00:51:24.740 to be here tomorrow

00:51:25.160 please yeah so so

00:51:27.240 so then we we look

00:51:28.440 okay if when you get

00:51:30.280 married as a man again

00:51:32.040 we're talking about

00:51:32.940 typically speaking a man

00:51:34.960 knows that his wife's

00:51:36.200 going to be at home at

00:51:37.060 the moment she doesn't

00:51:37.860 have children so now

00:51:39.260 you need to discuss how

00:51:40.460 she's going to stay

00:51:41.320 occupied and what

00:51:42.920 she's going to be able

00:51:43.980 to do now does she

00:51:46.080 have hobbies yeah can

00:51:47.640 you help her facilitate

00:51:48.800 her hobbies can she

00:51:50.280 do certain dawah

00:51:51.100 activities now why is

00:51:52.960 this why is the only

00:51:54.540 way for you to express

00:51:55.540 yourself and do certain

00:51:56.600 things through career

00:51:57.780 that's not the only way

00:51:59.000 first thing could be

00:52:00.040 through hobbies it

00:52:00.940 could be through dawah

00:52:02.420 it could be through

00:52:03.300 education and stuff like

00:52:04.720 that there's ways of

00:52:05.720 building yourself and

00:52:07.160 building other

00:52:07.820 characteristics that will

00:52:08.860 be conducive to the

00:52:09.860 marriage

00:52:10.120 not homeschooling

00:52:12.500 there are other things

00:52:13.340 that that can actually

00:52:14.500 be searched now I've

00:52:16.060 got as much time as I

00:52:16.900 want so so these things

00:52:20.200 what I'm saying is look

00:52:21.120 rather than saying oh

00:52:22.280 I'm going to swipe left

00:52:23.160 I'm going to swipe right

00:52:24.020 or he doesn't do this and

00:52:25.140 he looks boring and he

00:52:26.160 this and he that the

00:52:27.280 thing is we need to be

00:52:28.340 more particular with our

00:52:30.560 questions our criteria

00:52:32.020 taking our wallies

00:52:33.380 seriously and really kind

00:52:35.780 of investigating the

00:52:36.940 individual that we're

00:52:37.800 getting married to if

00:52:38.660 you're going to get

00:52:39.100 married to this person

00:52:39.940 and end up working and

00:52:41.320 that person is going to

00:52:42.040 find you attractive and

00:52:42.920 this and that it can

00:52:44.060 cause detriment and

00:52:45.780 issues

00:52:46.320 I know yeah we'll have

00:52:48.400 a part two on this

00:52:49.220 inshallah

00:52:49.540 these discussions are

00:52:52.080 here to just learn from

00:52:53.660 each other inshallah

00:52:54.240 obviously it's a

00:52:56.120 discussion I don't want

00:52:57.220 the pizza brav my boy

00:52:58.820 needs to go so we need

00:52:59.500 to make sure we cater for

00:53:00.200 him

00:53:00.320 brothers and sisters

00:53:01.000 from the bitter truth

00:53:01.700 we had discussions what

00:53:03.080 do you think do you agree

00:53:03.840 do you disagree maybe you

00:53:05.020 can be on the panel next

00:53:05.760 time inshallah till next

00:53:07.060 time from the bitter truth

00:53:07.780 show with our dear

00:53:08.660 honorable sisters may

00:53:09.480 Allah bless them inshallah

00:53:10.100 and our brothers who have

00:53:10.920 contributed

00:53:11.720 assalamualaikum warahmatullahi

00:53:13.360 wabarakatuh

00:53:14.500 the prophet assalam said

00:53:16.700 whoever builds a masjid

00:53:18.280 for the sake of Allah

00:53:19.020 subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:53:19.640 Allah will build for him

00:53:21.580 a similar house in Jannah

00:53:23.360 on that day where Allah

00:53:24.980 subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us

00:53:26.160 that our books will be

00:53:27.120 given and every little

00:53:28.980 atom weight of good

00:53:29.980 did you've done will be

00:53:31.140 there and imagine you

00:53:32.560 see a mountain and

00:53:34.000 you're like what a lucky

00:53:34.860 person which righteous

00:53:36.280 person and Allah says

00:53:38.140 this is for you for me

00:53:39.580 yes what did I do you

00:53:42.340 allow people to pray you

00:53:43.780 built a masjid I never

00:53:44.980 had the money to build

00:53:45.540 a masjid oh Allah you

00:53:46.960 helped you gave towards

00:53:48.620 it and Allah gives you

00:53:49.420 the reward of as if

00:53:50.560 you've built it donate

00:53:52.000 now guys and do not

00:53:53.020 delay and share the video

00:53:54.520 for extra rewards

Ali Dawah - January 02, 2023

DO MEN WANT CAREER (BOSS BABE) WIVES？ - EP1 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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