HIJABI EXP0SES DAWAH MEN - HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF？
Episode Stats
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217.37772
Summary
In this episode, I talk about why I have a problem with the dawa boys on social media and how they take advantage of the vulnerable in our community. I also talk about how we have been labelled as "Single Mothers" and how we need to stop this label.
Transcript
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For all the single moms out there, to be warned, Dawa men and their sickening ideologies.
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There has been yet another incident of a Dawa figure.
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Let me share with you guys why do I have a deep problem with the Dawa boys on social media.
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The main goal of a mentor is to pass on the energy of a win.
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Those chosen by a mentor have the capability to harness this energy.
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For all the single moms out there, to be warned, Dawa men and their sickening ideologies.
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There has been yet another incident of a Dawa figure.
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Let me share with you guys why do I have a deep problem with the Dawa boys on social media.
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We prey on those that are vulnerable, especially our Muslim sisters.
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We come together collectively and we say how can we take advantage of the most vulnerable in our community.
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I mean brothers and sisters, before I get into the video of the whole situation with Zaid and our dear sister.
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I really want to know where this phenomena is coming from.
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As if us Dawa guys are just perverted individuals who wake up in the morning.
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Before we have breakfast, we focus and think and we have this big master plan of taking advantage of sisters.
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I mean I am just really curious like what is it that we have done that we have got this label?
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I mean was I caught with prostitutes 3-4 days ago and it was exposed?
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Was Mohammed Ijab caught in the red light district?
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What have we done so much that this label of all these Dawa guys, every single video,
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especially from sisters, for some odd reason is these Dawa guys and these Dawa boys and these Dawa men.
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I mean just imagine for a second I started this video and I've got a lot of personal experiences
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when it comes to single mothers from my personal life.
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When I was looking to get married, yes, I've had majority has been very good.
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Imagine I start a video and I go, these single mother hijabis.
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Or more specifically, single mother hijabi Eritreans or Pakistanis or Bengalis or Turkish or whatever you want to name it.
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Why would I generalise a big group of people to a couple of people that I had a bad experience with?
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There's so much slander being out there and it's all coming down to like us.
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Now just because someone does something, I mean a couple of months ago it was the whole sisters cannot wear their jacket because their shoulders,
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Allah tells us in the Quran to speak the truth even if it's yourself or your kin.
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But to me, when I looked in the mirror, I had to be true to myself and say,
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Ali, am I going to turn my back on this religion because I'm under pressure or this, that and I've been called names?
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I don't care if the entire globe came against me.
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I know Islam is the truth and I will stand by that, inshallah, till the day I die.
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So my loyalty in this situation that I'm going to be talking about is not with anybody.
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One thing I want to mention is I have three daughters.
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And everyone, every father knows how they are close to their daughters.
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I would never, ever, ever, even if I did not have daughters before when I didn't,
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I would never ever be biased or this misconception that has been spread about us around that we're misogynistic, we hate women.
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I wake up and I just look at my daughters and go, I hate you guys.
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I look at my wife and go, I hate you the most actually.
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Now, coming into this matter, when we're talking about vulnerability and single mothers.
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Now, I'm going to be very brutal and honest in this matter.
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Nine to ten years ago, me and Aki Eamon done a video about single mothers because he was married to a single mother.
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I had a cold show called The Reality Show and the videos that you can watch it for yourself.
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How single mothers are looked down upon, especially in the Asian community.
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I've spoken about this in the Bitter Truth show as well.
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How they look down upon as if they are less worthy.
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So nobody can dare to come and talk to me about, oh, this, that or whatever.
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If there's anybody that can talk about this issue of vulnerability of single mothers and speaking up for their rights, it has been me.
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And I don't want a cookie and a thank you very much.
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Not only that, about five, six years ago, there was somebody that I knew.
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Who was doing things that was inappropriate, messaging sisters in inappropriate ways, calling them to inappropriate things.
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Still, I've done a video called Warning Sisters Against Ali Dawa.
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I've done that and I made a thumbnail that made it look like I got caught out and some sisters exposing me.
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Alhamdulillah, there was a lot of sisters out there.
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Obviously, you know, they're waiting for this opportunity by the way.
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We're going to talk about those sisters as well.
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I've done this video to warn sisters that whoever it is, that even if it's Ali Dawa, coming and approaching you,
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because I know sisters are hypergamous by nature.
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So when it comes to us, we have a great power in our hands.
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I have to be honest, as people in the public sphere, Dawa or not Dawa, you have a great power in your hands.
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Because when sisters see you, sadly, they have this attitude of,
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Sadly, we have this power and we need to be responsible with it.
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That's why I've done that video to tell sisters, my dear sisters, if it is me messaging you, whoever it is,
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If you see us cross the line, you put it on us and you warn us.
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And if you see us carrying on, you go public and expose us.
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If we are calling you to haram, if we are talking to you in an inappropriate way, because it is not permissible.
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And it was a message to that brother who was acting up.
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So, and we spoke about this on The Bitty Truth as well.
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We talk about how they play the role of a mother and a father.
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And I'm going to go to the whole Zed issue in a minute.
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I personally, when I was looking to get married, I met multiple single mothers for marriage.
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And I would meet single mothers who had two kids.
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To me personally, it was like maximum two kids.
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And believe me, when I went to these marriage meetings and I would meet them.
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She made it seem as if I was doing her a favor.
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And I had to reiterate and repeat and say, my dear sister, look.
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I don't know how a certain community have made you feel.
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I'm not here to make you feel as if I'm doing you a favor because I am choosing to marry you and you've got kids.
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But I noticed this vulnerable situation single mothers were in.
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And I'm not seeing all of them are angel, by the way.
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Now, as men, we have a responsibility to know better.
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And a sister came to me three, four months ago where she was married to somebody.
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If he did that to you truly, and he's made you feel like this, go public.
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Not only that, I even said to her, let's do a video.
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So, and I'm just saying, by the way, I know some stories of brothers who have married
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And these single mothers have lied and it's gone pairship.
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Brothers, don't look at single mothers as like, oh, they are absolutely innocent.
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So, the point I'm seeing is, there is vulnerability on that side.
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And one thing that I would say, which I do not agree with Sister Soul.
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Yep, Sister Soul, you're watching this probably.
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One thing she would always say on the Bitter Truth Show is what?
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When Sister Soul would say, accountability and healing.
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May Allah bless her with an Algerian French accent.
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If my dear sisters, if you guys do not go through the process of healing and accountability.
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Because you need to look at this whole phenomenon as well of your ex-husbands are all narcissists and manipulators.
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When I speak to the majority of single mothers who come to me.
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For some odd reason, all of their ex-husbands are like that.
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Once you do the healing, then you can get out of this zone of thinking,
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But you should also be realistic on your expectations as well.
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May Allah SubhanAllah bless and preserve them both.
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May Allah protect and preserve their honor, both of them.
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It is the duty of a Muslim to defend the honor of where it is.
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And if they are wrong, it's to call them to account.
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If somebody crosses the boundaries of the Sharia, we will call them out.
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And if they don't, we will defend them to the death of us.
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Sister, single mother, brother, I don't care who it is.
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When I started to think, SubhanAllah, like something really bad happened.
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Like I thought like, man, this is like coming in Zina.
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Because the situation was because like, I was just seeing this video here.
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And after I watched the sister's video, I said, bro, I'll be honest with you.
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For her to feel, for her to feel how she felt, I don't blame her.
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Like the words, the choice of words you used, the way you came across, bro.
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When I was new to Islam and I was not married for three years, coming from a jahlia, looking
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to get married and it's difficult to get married.
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But bro, the way you approached it, the way you made her feel, yes, was wrong and she deserves
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And Brother Zaid will do that apology, inshallah.
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Now we need to cut things in context because I was under the assumption that Brother Zaid proposed
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Now, let's listen to the voice notes because I listened to it a couple of times and I
00:13:07.000
Now, let's just listen to it ourselves, inshallah.
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So, obviously, this is an amanah between Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala but it's just a query
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However, as you can understand as a man, this is very difficult, especially in the time
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of fitna that I live in, especially considering my social media and the fitna of that.
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And obviously, coming from a cultural family, as do a lot of people, you know, the
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typical traditional marriage is very difficult sometimes to find that person.
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You know, families get together, there's a, you know, walima, blah, blah, blah.
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It's, you know, the woman's first time getting married and the same for the man.
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You know, traditional marriage from two, essentially, virgins.
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But my question is and query is, I was thinking that since I'm struggling to find the woman
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or a woman for marriage as a sort of first wife that I would call a traditional wife
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that my family meets and they go over houses and then there's in-laws and all this typical
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stuff, I was thinking in the meantime, until I find that, because it's quite difficult
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to find what I'm looking for, what my family would be happy with, I was thinking to just
00:14:02.000
And the option that I was thinking of was someone like a single mother for the following
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One is that, you know, she's been married before, she already has children, so her expectations
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of her husband might not necessarily be as much as a virgin woman.
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And two, I think she would probably understand my situation and, you know, what I'm looking
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And would probably be supportive of it, perhaps, or cooperative in it.
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And she probably wouldn't be as interested as, you know, a virgin girl in getting to know
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the family and in-laws and all this stuff, because she's already been through it.
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You know, she's got a kid and she's just raising the kid and she just wants a man there
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who, you know, she can spend some quality time with every now and then, who can, you know,
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they can protect each other and love each other and protect each other from zinner mainly
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and look after each other, essentially marrying a woman and basically not telling your family
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But my simple question was, as a single mother yourself, in your humble opinion and experience,
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do you think this is a wise idea or, you know, to marry, basically for me to marry someone
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like a single mother, just so I can have someone there, protect myself, have that affection
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and love that every man needs until I, not with the intention of divorce, of course not,
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but like, as someone there, until I find that traditional quote unquote wife that, you know,
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my family would know and all these things, whereas the family wouldn't know of this other
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So what do you think, as someone who is raising a, you know, beautiful child as yourself,
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is this something that's, you know, how would you feel as a single mother about that?
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If a man came with this idea to you, what would you think?
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Would you tell him, no, just, you know, be patient even more and go find that first wife,
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You know, what do you think, what would you advise?
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Just bearing in mind that I'm a man, I'm 27 now.
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Obviously, as you understand that a man is, it's much more difficult for a man to maintain,
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you know, and to control themselves from that aspect physiologically,
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So, you know, it's getting very difficult at the moment.
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So please let me know, inshallah, may Allah bless you,
00:16:03.000
So now, guys, if you've heard it, he's talking on the third person.
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Do you think he's basically, when I listened to her, I was like, hold on a second,
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I said, then where's this rumor going around as if you proposed to her?
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A sister, after Zaid done Hajj, a sister who's a single mother proposed to Zaid for marriage.
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I'm bringing context because there are people accusing Zaid of calling her to mutas in a marriage.
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and he should apologize for making that sister feel like that.
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So he's come to her, which is the most naive, awkwardly naive thing I've ever seen in my life.
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And then he's messaging her and saying, I am planning on da-da-da-da-da-da, you know the thing.
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But one thing you notice, he does not say, I want to marry this sister.
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He's asking for Naseer on behalf of the other sister proposed to him.
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So he's saying, do you think it's the right thing to do?
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So now the sister has a right to be offended in the message and tell him, brother,
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I'm not going to come and say to you it was wrong.
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However, my dear sister has come to you asking you,
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and I know you feel offended on behalf of other sisters of single mothers
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because of his conditions or whatever for that matter.
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But he does not say he wants to temporarily marry.
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He's saying he wants to find the second wife first,
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which is going to be his first wife, then become his second wife.
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And then he's going to stay married to her, etc.
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Now, looking at this, this is called misyar marriage.
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Misyar marriage is at the discretion of the woman.
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So the woman has the right to say, I forgo my rights.
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Now, this is not for every sister and sister can feel offended.
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But a sister who doesn't mind being in that situation for the sister who proposed to him, etc.
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You cannot blame her and make her feel like she is, you know, not getting her worth or whatever for that matter.
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If they want to do that, that's at their discretion.
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But if we're looking at the thing, there was nothing haram done.
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Please bring me evidence from the Quran and Sunnah if the proposal was haram.
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And I want to put you guys and put yourself in this situation.
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If a sister messaged me as a married man and said, Brother Ali, there is, for example, asking me for nasir.
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Please, this is in a manner between us and you.
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I don't, you know, financially, I'm not in a good place.
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Now, in this situation, you would see that he is, she is basically kind of taking an opportunity of him.
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Now, I would personally say, my dear sister, if you don't have attraction,
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to him, if you don't like him like that, I wouldn't advise you to do that.
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I mean, the fact that you want to marry him for his, you know, money.
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And, you know, you want to protect yourself from sin.
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Now, imagine if I broke the Amana and I went public.
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I'm not blaming the sister, but just put yourself in the shoe.
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If I went to public and I exposed and smashed and I said, this sister just messaged me.
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I'm warning everyone against this kind of sisters who are using men as a cash machine, gold diggers, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
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Would you sisters not come to me and say, oh my gosh, she messaged you privately.
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Wanting to marry the guy for gold again or whatever, protect yourself from sin or whatever.
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You will do everything in your power to defend that sister.
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He's coming there naively and telling you the blueprint of what he thinks is good to do.
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And he's coming to you as a single mother out of everybody for that matter.
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Because you're a single mother, you're going to be more offended.
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My dear sister, all you have to do is tell him and put him in his place and say, what you're doing is wrong.
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Give him a seat and pack him and do a general video.
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And if you did a video generally without mentioning his name, fully I would have shared that video no problem.
00:21:03.000
Because I know there are men out there who take advantage of vulnerable sisters.
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The point is that people are now turned this into a muta marriage, zina, he's this, he should be warned.
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Brother Zaid should apologize for making the sister feel in that way less worthy that you know, whatever it's for that matter.
00:21:35.000
However, mistyar marriage is totally, totally valid.
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And let me tell you, my dear sisters, a hint why men, men are going down this route of having secret second wives,
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And people think I just done it for the sake of it.
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I do not care how much you're going to attack me.
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And I know so many, so many who have, are getting secret second wives.
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In most scenarios, does the first wife come and say, this is a single mother, vulnerable, look after her?
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It is those women, single, the first wives, who are saying, I don't care.
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Even if they marry somebody who is not a single mother.
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Do not oppress a single mother or any woman because you fear your first wife.
00:23:08.000
You have agreed to two days, three days, whatever for that matter.
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Polygamy has come to defend the right of the woman.
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You treat their kids as much as like your kids to the best of your ability.
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I am not saying you must love them like their own father loves them.
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And have a proper guardian that cares about you.
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Who is just going to be there and be like yeah.
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These are the two things that will protect you against men who are preying on vulnerable women.
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Anything I said bad is from shaitan and myself.
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Anything good is from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
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And Zaid inshaAllah will come out with an apology.