Ali Dawah - January 21, 2023HIJABI SHARES HER HUSBAND WITH FRIENDS
Episode Stats
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Summary
Brothers and Sisters, in this episode, we talk about a recent video where a niqabi sister advises her sister on what to do if her husband wants to go on a date with another woman. Is it a reality or is it a dream?
Transcript
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Honestly, I love my friends and if they wanted to marry my husband, I would definitely encourage it.
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I've done the seven-day free trial of the Qur'ani app and it exceeded all my expectations. Alhamdulillah,
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I was worried that was an overrated product. That's what he fought until he tried it.
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Brothers and sisters, you can build a habit with the Qur'an by seven-day free trial.
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Brothers and sisters, no credit card details required at all and you decide for yourself,
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As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters and Zeeshan, the honorable gentleman on my left here,
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who's on my left, so is the Shaytan. So brothers and sisters, today, well not today, I saw a video
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and in this video there was a niqabi sister who was advising this sister. Now this sister,
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it seems like recently on TikTok and social media, she's becoming very popular. A lot of brothers are
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sharing the stuff she says because she sounds good to the ear. How? Because she says stuff like, you
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know, if my husband tells me to jump, I'll jump. How high? My husband wants to go on the stage,
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I'll do whatever my husband wants. And I'll be honest with you, as a man, it's like, wow,
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there are women like that exist. The point is the following. She says something about polygamy.
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Now to me, it was like, okay, it sounds good to the ear, but is it, I don't want to say genuine
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because I don't want to doubt anybody's intentions. However, let's watch it for ourselves and hear if
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what she's saying is applicable. Is it reality or is it some kind of a dream that she's selling to
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sisters and brothers? Statistically, there are more women on earth than there is men. And if every
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single man just married one woman, there would be millions of women that are single. Like, why would
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you want that for your sisters that you love? Honestly, I love my friends and if they wanted to
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marry my husband, I would definitely encourage it. Brothers, sounds amazing to the ear. Isn't
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everyone making dua? My wife comes home and says that to me. Yes and no. Now, one thing that we
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need to understand and one of the reasons we started the Bitter Truth Show, brothers and sisters, is to
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tackle these issues when it comes to gender roles, understanding the man's mind, understanding the
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woman's mind so we can get to know each other better and it can help us understand each other better.
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Now, what the sister is saying, yes, there are more women than men. There's a hadith of the
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Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, that he said a time would come, if I'm not mistaken, maybe 50
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men, every, there'll be so much women that a man will be a guardian over 50 women, something along
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those lines, yeah? So, the point is what? Yes, and that's one of the reasons why polygamy is a
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solution. One of the reasons why. As you guys know, I've been very vocal about the polygamy issue and
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that I believe every single man is polygamist by nature. I've been saying this day in, day out.
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However, so sisters, before you like tune out one second, what this sister is saying goes against her
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nature. Unless she is some, an exception to the rule, which we know they exist, but she's like
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an exception, exception, exception to the rule, like a very, very special sister that she is saying that
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she has no problem her husband marrying her friend. I mean, let alone, okay, another woman.
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Her friend, to me, is like, really? Is this a reality, sister? And is this correct you bringing it out
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there? Why? Now, the reason is this. Men, for example, we are created in a certain way where
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we do not like a certain thing. For example, that we judge a woman by her past and a woman judges a
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man by his future. So, I make this very clear that, for example, if a man was to go to his potential
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wife that he's going to marry and says, I am planning on getting a second wife, most likely she would judge
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him by that and say, you know what? I don't know if I will marry you or I'm going to put in the marriage
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contract. That's within the nature. Does it mean it's right or wrong? No. Am I asking for anyone
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to go and divorce or not marry someone because of this? I'll say no. Every man is polygamous by
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nature. However, for a woman, we understand and acknowledge that that's the way she's created.
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Now, for a man, most cases, sisters come and ask these questions. He's asking me about my past.
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Men judge a woman by their past. If she has had some kind of a past, personally, a lot of men would say
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no. So, you guys are wired in that way when it comes to a man's future with multiple women and with
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a man, it's more you, a woman, and her past with different men. That bothers us. This
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bothers you. Now, this is to come and say that it's fine. You know, my friends, if they want
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to marry, no, it's not. Sister, no, it's not. You know very well it's not. To put this out
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there as if this is the norm is wrong because what you're doing is you're giving men a perception
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that this is the norm and that this is how it should be. No. The best of the best of
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women, Aisha radiallahu anha, one day she was bringing food to the Prophet, peace be upon
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him. The Prophet, peace be upon him, didn't know. He had food brought from one of his
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other wives. And when he came, and imagine he's sitting with his sahaba. Brothers, imagine
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you're sitting with your boys. Yeah. Your wife is bringing the food and then she smashes
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on the floor, smashed out of jealousy. Yeah. And the scholars say, is she blameworthy of
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this? Not necessarily. Her nature as women, they are jealous. Our ghira is totally different
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to the way they're jealous as a man. But the point is what? She got jealous. It's as simple
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as that. Yes. So now the point is what? The point is the following. Are we now trying to
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say that we are better than this woman? No. No. The point is what? No matter who you are,
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are you a woman? You are bound to be jealous. You are bound to want your man for yourself
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and you are bound to be upset that if he gets a second wife, let alone marrying your friend,
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don't come and tell me, sister, that you're going to be okay with it. And like, please
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don't do that because you're giving a false perception to men. And also you're making women
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feel as if they are now abnormal to feel jealous. No, they're not. Them being jealous, getting
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upset, having a tantrum, being angry, vocalizing it. And to some who go to the length of divorce,
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which I would say is kind of crossing lines in the context where there's a discussion on it. Is
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it halal? Is it haram? Of course, no one's going to come and say it's haram. Some scholars will say
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it's not a valid reason. It's a different topic. But the point is, it is natural for women to be
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upset about it. And I advise any sister to not end their marriage because he gets a second wife.
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If he's a good man, he's practicing, he fears Allah, he gives you your rights, he protects and he provides,
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do not do that mistake by divorcing him because he wants to get married again. Because like I said
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before, this is in a man's biology. It's in his nature. So in a nutshell, just want to wrap up.
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To the sister, there is a lot of controversial things that you're saying. I don't doubt your
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intentions. I'm not saying this or that, whatever. Your husband, you said that he's has second wife,
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two wives or three wives. I don't know what it might be. And you're open to applicants or whatever
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may Allah bless you, preserve you, increase your husband's wives, no problem. But to make it seem
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as if it's abnormal for women to be jealous or this, that, no. This is wrong. And we will call it out
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when it's wrong, even though it's for our favor. Like Allah says in the Quran, speak the truth even
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if it's against yourself. So what you're saying in my favor, I would love to support it all day,
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all night and say, you know what? Yes, sister, you're right. I can't do that because the truth is more
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beloved to me than me talking or approving what you're saying just because it's good to my ears
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or the brother's ears. No, I believe this specific video is wrong. And to portray that this is
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how it should be, yes, you can expect it. But most of the time, women are wired in a certain way.
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There's going to be jealousy and that is normal. Her being upset is normal. Crying, maybe sometimes
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shouting as long as there's haram stuff not being said. It's a normal behavior. And the best
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of the woman who walked this earth, our mothers, the believers, the believers' mothers, yeah,
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the prophet, peace be upon him, his wives, had these issues, let alone yourself. So please,
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let's be careful to what we convey on social media because we give wrong messages. Same
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with social media couples who are portraying this lovely, amazing marriage. Everything's
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so perfect. And then you have individuals who are like, oh my gosh, why is my marriage
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not like that? Because it's fake. It's like Superman jumping from 10th building and you're
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like, oh, let me try that. Let me put a cape on. Oh, I died. It's my janitor. Come to my
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janitor. Yeah, we'll come to janitor. We don't know if we'll make du'a for you, you
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know, because it's like suicide, brother. So do not look at social media influences and
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let's be responsible who are public figures, responsible with our content because these
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things cause issues in the household. And for more videos like Bitter Truth, et cetera,
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where we discuss these topics, in-laws getting involved, past, present, how men think, gender
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roles, go and watch the Bitter Truth show. Till next time. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi
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were better care to. If there's more videos where, I don't see the sisters' videos, but
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if there's more videos that the sisters may be saying things, we can just maybe correct
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her, give her some nasi, inshallah, and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless her and her
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family and keep them firm with all the co-wives. Assalamualaikum.