Ali Dawah - HIJABI SHARES HER HUSBAND WITH FRIENDS

00:00:00.160 Honestly, I love my friends and if they wanted to marry my husband, I would definitely encourage it.

00:00:08.080 I've done the seven-day free trial of the Qur'ani app and it exceeded all my expectations. Alhamdulillah,

00:00:13.040 I was worried that was an overrated product. That's what he fought until he tried it.

00:00:17.040 Brothers and sisters, you can build a habit with the Qur'an by seven-day free trial.

00:00:21.200 Brothers and sisters, no credit card details required at all and you decide for yourself,

00:00:24.880 is it overrated or is it underrated?

00:00:27.280 As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters and Zeeshan, the honorable gentleman on my left here,

00:00:32.240 who's on my left, so is the Shaytan. So brothers and sisters, today, well not today, I saw a video

00:00:38.160 and in this video there was a niqabi sister who was advising this sister. Now this sister,

00:00:42.400 it seems like recently on TikTok and social media, she's becoming very popular. A lot of brothers are

00:00:47.760 sharing the stuff she says because she sounds good to the ear. How? Because she says stuff like, you

00:00:51.760 know, if my husband tells me to jump, I'll jump. How high? My husband wants to go on the stage,

00:00:54.800 I'll do whatever my husband wants. And I'll be honest with you, as a man, it's like, wow,

00:00:58.960 there are women like that exist. The point is the following. She says something about polygamy. 1.00

00:01:03.280 Now to me, it was like, okay, it sounds good to the ear, but is it, I don't want to say genuine

00:01:11.200 because I don't want to doubt anybody's intentions. However, let's watch it for ourselves and hear if

00:01:17.120 what she's saying is applicable. Is it reality or is it some kind of a dream that she's selling to

00:01:22.960 sisters and brothers? Statistically, there are more women on earth than there is men. And if every 1.00

00:01:29.520 single man just married one woman, there would be millions of women that are single. Like, why would 0.94

00:01:35.760 you want that for your sisters that you love? Honestly, I love my friends and if they wanted to

00:01:40.640 marry my husband, I would definitely encourage it. Brothers, sounds amazing to the ear. Isn't

00:01:46.240 everyone making dua? My wife comes home and says that to me. Yes and no. Now, one thing that we

00:01:51.680 need to understand and one of the reasons we started the Bitter Truth Show, brothers and sisters, is to

00:01:55.040 tackle these issues when it comes to gender roles, understanding the man's mind, understanding the

00:01:58.560 woman's mind so we can get to know each other better and it can help us understand each other better. 1.00

00:02:03.360 Now, what the sister is saying, yes, there are more women than men. There's a hadith of the 0.98

00:02:07.120 Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, that he said a time would come, if I'm not mistaken, maybe 50

00:02:11.600 men, every, there'll be so much women that a man will be a guardian over 50 women, something along 0.98

00:02:15.840 those lines, yeah? So, the point is what? Yes, and that's one of the reasons why polygamy is a 1.00

00:02:19.920 solution. One of the reasons why. As you guys know, I've been very vocal about the polygamy issue and 1.00

00:02:24.560 that I believe every single man is polygamist by nature. I've been saying this day in, day out.

00:02:29.920 However, so sisters, before you like tune out one second, what this sister is saying goes against her

00:02:35.920 nature. Unless she is some, an exception to the rule, which we know they exist, but she's like

00:02:41.360 an exception, exception, exception to the rule, like a very, very special sister that she is saying that

00:02:47.520 she has no problem her husband marrying her friend. I mean, let alone, okay, another woman. 0.99

00:02:54.320 Her friend, to me, is like, really? Is this a reality, sister? And is this correct you bringing it out

00:03:01.520 there? Why? Now, the reason is this. Men, for example, we are created in a certain way where

00:03:08.960 we do not like a certain thing. For example, that we judge a woman by her past and a woman judges a

00:03:14.320 man by his future. So, I make this very clear that, for example, if a man was to go to his potential

00:03:19.520 wife that he's going to marry and says, I am planning on getting a second wife, most likely she would judge 1.00

00:03:24.620 him by that and say, you know what? I don't know if I will marry you or I'm going to put in the marriage

00:03:28.100 contract. That's within the nature. Does it mean it's right or wrong? No. Am I asking for anyone

00:03:33.200 to go and divorce or not marry someone because of this? I'll say no. Every man is polygamous by 0.94

00:03:37.040 nature. However, for a woman, we understand and acknowledge that that's the way she's created. 0.99

00:03:42.340 Now, for a man, most cases, sisters come and ask these questions. He's asking me about my past.

00:03:46.680 Men judge a woman by their past. If she has had some kind of a past, personally, a lot of men would say

00:03:53.300 no. So, you guys are wired in that way when it comes to a man's future with multiple women and with

00:03:58.080 a man, it's more you, a woman, and her past with different men. That bothers us. This

00:04:04.560 bothers you. Now, this is to come and say that it's fine. You know, my friends, if they want

00:04:10.200 to marry, no, it's not. Sister, no, it's not. You know very well it's not. To put this out

00:04:15.820 there as if this is the norm is wrong because what you're doing is you're giving men a perception

00:04:21.260 that this is the norm and that this is how it should be. No. The best of the best of

00:04:25.900 women, Aisha radiallahu anha, one day she was bringing food to the Prophet, peace be upon 0.87

00:04:31.240 him. The Prophet, peace be upon him, didn't know. He had food brought from one of his

00:04:36.440 other wives. And when he came, and imagine he's sitting with his sahaba. Brothers, imagine 0.73

00:04:40.720 you're sitting with your boys. Yeah. Your wife is bringing the food and then she smashes 0.99

00:04:44.840 on the floor, smashed out of jealousy. Yeah. And the scholars say, is she blameworthy of 0.99

00:04:50.040 this? Not necessarily. Her nature as women, they are jealous. Our ghira is totally different 0.98

00:04:56.420 to the way they're jealous as a man. But the point is what? She got jealous. It's as simple

00:05:01.840 as that. Yes. So now the point is what? The point is the following. Are we now trying to

00:05:07.320 say that we are better than this woman? No. No. The point is what? No matter who you are, 0.95

00:05:13.280 are you a woman? You are bound to be jealous. You are bound to want your man for yourself 1.00

00:05:17.240 and you are bound to be upset that if he gets a second wife, let alone marrying your friend,

00:05:22.860 don't come and tell me, sister, that you're going to be okay with it. And like, please

00:05:25.800 don't do that because you're giving a false perception to men. And also you're making women

00:05:30.060 feel as if they are now abnormal to feel jealous. No, they're not. Them being jealous, getting

00:05:35.940 upset, having a tantrum, being angry, vocalizing it. And to some who go to the length of divorce,

00:05:41.540 which I would say is kind of crossing lines in the context where there's a discussion on it. Is

00:05:46.640 it halal? Is it haram? Of course, no one's going to come and say it's haram. Some scholars will say

00:05:51.240 it's not a valid reason. It's a different topic. But the point is, it is natural for women to be 1.00

00:05:56.780 upset about it. And I advise any sister to not end their marriage because he gets a second wife. 1.00

00:06:01.820 If he's a good man, he's practicing, he fears Allah, he gives you your rights, he protects and he provides, 0.73

00:06:06.600 do not do that mistake by divorcing him because he wants to get married again. Because like I said

00:06:11.060 before, this is in a man's biology. It's in his nature. So in a nutshell, just want to wrap up.

00:06:17.800 To the sister, there is a lot of controversial things that you're saying. I don't doubt your

00:06:22.500 intentions. I'm not saying this or that, whatever. Your husband, you said that he's has second wife,

00:06:27.660 two wives or three wives. I don't know what it might be. And you're open to applicants or whatever

00:06:31.200 may Allah bless you, preserve you, increase your husband's wives, no problem. But to make it seem 0.99

00:06:39.100 as if it's abnormal for women to be jealous or this, that, no. This is wrong. And we will call it out 0.88

00:06:43.820 when it's wrong, even though it's for our favor. Like Allah says in the Quran, speak the truth even

00:06:48.840 if it's against yourself. So what you're saying in my favor, I would love to support it all day,

00:06:54.080 all night and say, you know what? Yes, sister, you're right. I can't do that because the truth is more

00:06:58.640 beloved to me than me talking or approving what you're saying just because it's good to my ears

00:07:04.160 or the brother's ears. No, I believe this specific video is wrong. And to portray that this is

00:07:10.460 how it should be, yes, you can expect it. But most of the time, women are wired in a certain way. 1.00

00:07:17.280 There's going to be jealousy and that is normal. Her being upset is normal. Crying, maybe sometimes

00:07:23.260 shouting as long as there's haram stuff not being said. It's a normal behavior. And the best

00:07:28.580 of the woman who walked this earth, our mothers, the believers, the believers' mothers, yeah,

00:07:32.660 the prophet, peace be upon him, his wives, had these issues, let alone yourself. So please,

00:07:36.900 let's be careful to what we convey on social media because we give wrong messages. Same

00:07:42.280 with social media couples who are portraying this lovely, amazing marriage. Everything's

00:07:46.400 so perfect. And then you have individuals who are like, oh my gosh, why is my marriage

00:07:50.140 not like that? Because it's fake. It's like Superman jumping from 10th building and you're

00:07:54.520 like, oh, let me try that. Let me put a cape on. Oh, I died. It's my janitor. Come to my

00:07:57.620 janitor. Yeah, we'll come to janitor. We don't know if we'll make du'a for you, you

00:08:00.200 know, because it's like suicide, brother. So do not look at social media influences and

00:08:04.680 let's be responsible who are public figures, responsible with our content because these

00:08:09.720 things cause issues in the household. And for more videos like Bitter Truth, et cetera,

00:08:15.060 where we discuss these topics, in-laws getting involved, past, present, how men think, gender

00:08:20.020 roles, go and watch the Bitter Truth show. Till next time. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi

00:08:24.580 were better care to. If there's more videos where, I don't see the sisters' videos, but

00:08:28.020 if there's more videos that the sisters may be saying things, we can just maybe correct

00:08:32.640 her, give her some nasi, inshallah, and may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless her and her

00:08:35.680 family and keep them firm with all the co-wives. Assalamualaikum.

Ali Dawah - January 21, 2023

HIJABI SHARES HER HUSBAND WITH FRIENDS

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