Ali Dawah - HOW MEN FALL IN LOVE THE WRONG WAY

00:00:00.000 Salam, Salam, Salam, Salam

00:00:30.000 I know it's a sacrifice, but it's a small price to pay for all the rewards we'll get from our love

00:00:40.000 InsyaAllah

00:00:42.000 They want to know about Islam, we'll give them dawah 1.00

00:00:45.500 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends

00:00:50.720 Welcome to Salam Studios

00:00:52.140 Today we're on the set, The House, where you feel at home

00:00:55.380 I've got two honourable guests here, may Allah bless them inshaAllah

00:00:58.420 I've got brother Haidar

00:01:00.420 Assalamualaikum

00:01:01.420 And I've got brother Naeem

00:01:02.420 Assalamualaikum

00:01:03.420 So as you guys know, if you're new to the house, I'm sure you're new to the house, yeah?

00:01:06.420 Okay, so this house is more relaxed, more chill, it's more for our youngsters inshaAllah

00:01:09.420 I feel like I live here man

00:01:10.420 Yeah, that's good, that's exactly the feeling we want inshaAllah

00:01:13.420 And also we're going to add on to that, drinks, any drinks?

00:01:15.420 Barbecue please

00:01:16.420 Barbecue, yeah?

00:01:17.420 It's my drink, so

00:01:18.420 Guess what, we have that drink, yes, here we go

00:01:21.420 So, that's yours

00:01:23.420 Thank you very much

00:01:24.420 InshaAllah, and that's yours, yeah

00:01:25.420 Shukran

00:01:26.420 And when you're drinking, please, the guests don't want to hear all

00:01:28.420 Yeah?

00:01:29.420 Okay, so I'm sure

00:01:30.420 Yeah

00:01:31.420 Well, I paid for it so

00:01:33.420 Exactly, okay

00:01:34.420 You don't need to get personal now

00:01:36.420 So guys, what we're going to do today is inshaAllah, we've got really good guests here inshaAllah

00:01:39.420 Alhamdulillah, so what we're going to do is 0.93

00:01:40.420 They're youngsters, especially if I brought them as well

00:01:42.420 Because they're youngsters

00:01:43.420 Haidar, how old are you?

00:01:44.420 25

00:01:45.420 Okay, you're not that youngster, but inshaAllah you're under age range

00:01:48.420 How old are you Naeem?

00:01:49.420 I'm 20

00:01:50.420 Okay, perfect, perfect age, yeah?

00:01:51.420 Perfect, perfect age, yeah?

00:01:52.420 And you as well, okay?

00:01:53.420 So today's topic is

00:01:54.420 How men fall in love, but the wrong way

00:01:57.420 Now, when I say this to you, what comes to your mind?

00:01:59.420 When I say to you, okay, this is today's topic

00:02:00.420 How men fall in love the wrong way

00:02:02.420 What comes to your mind?

00:02:03.420 First, like I said before

00:02:04.420 The first thing that comes to my mind is like

00:02:06.420 Illicit relationship with a person

00:02:09.420 Okay

00:02:10.420 Man and woman

00:02:11.420 Like, it's something that

00:02:13.420 It's something that you probably usually see

00:02:15.420 Especially living in the nowadays

00:02:16.420 Which usually happens as well

00:02:18.420 Yeah

00:02:19.420 That's the first thing that pops into my head anyway

00:02:21.420 Okay, that kind of stuff

00:02:22.420 What do you mean?

00:02:23.420 Pulling into haram relationships

00:02:26.420 And meeting someone

00:02:27.420 In a way that Islam doesn't permit 1.00

00:02:29.420 Yeah

00:02:30.420 Yeah?

00:02:31.420 Okay, how about if I told you

00:02:33.420 It's in a different way

00:02:34.420 So for example

00:02:35.420 We know Allah SWT tells us in the Quran

00:02:36.420 That we should

00:02:37.420 Tell the believing men 0.94

00:02:38.420 And the women 1.00

00:02:39.420 To lower their gazes

00:02:40.420 Yeah?

00:02:41.420 So now, obviously we live

00:02:43.420 In a society

00:02:44.420 Where

00:02:45.420 Women can dress up how they like 1.00

00:02:46.420 Same with men as well 0.56

00:02:47.420 And

00:02:48.420 Falling in love the wrong way

00:02:51.420 It's

00:02:52.420 It's

00:02:53.420 The reason I mention this verse

00:02:54.420 Is because it kind of

00:02:55.420 Connects to it

00:02:56.420 There's a part to play on both parts

00:02:57.420 Yeah?

00:02:58.420 Be it the men and the women 0.91

00:02:59.420 Okay?

00:03:00.420 We are told to lower our gazes

00:03:01.420 Allah doesn't tell us to lower our gazes

00:03:02.420 Just because women are dressed inappropriately 1.00

00:03:04.420 Yeah

00:03:05.420 You should lower your gazes by default

00:03:06.420 Yeah

00:03:07.420 Because there's a big misconception out there

00:03:08.420 That

00:03:09.420 Oh, because you

00:03:10.420 Men are 0.99

00:03:11.420 You know, perverts or whatever 0.99

00:03:12.420 That's why 0.76

00:03:13.420 Women are told to dress 1.00

00:03:14.420 Women are told to dress 1.00

00:03:15.420 No!

00:03:16.420 Besides how a woman dresses 1.00

00:03:17.420 Even if she dresses

00:03:18.420 Inappropriate

00:03:19.420 Or appropriate

00:03:20.420 We are told to lower our gazes

00:03:21.420 By default

00:03:22.420 So that's a misconception

00:03:23.420 That we kind of

00:03:24.420 Debunk there

00:03:25.420 But the question here is this

00:03:27.420 A lot of females 1.00

00:03:28.420 A lot of sisters

00:03:29.420 Be Muslim or non-Muslim 1.00

00:03:30.420 Yeah?

00:03:31.420 They are

00:03:32.420 Entrapped

00:03:33.420 And actually

00:03:34.420 I would call shackles

00:03:35.420 The shackles of society

00:03:36.420 Where you are told to dress a certain way

00:03:37.420 Look a certain way

00:03:38.420 Wear a certain lipstick

00:03:39.420 Whatever

00:03:40.420 And this is for men as well

00:03:41.420 It's for both parties

00:03:42.420 So now what we want to understand

00:03:43.420 Is the psychology of a man

00:03:44.420 How he falls in love

00:03:45.420 In the wrong way

00:03:46.420 Now a lot of the times

00:03:47.420 A lot of sisters might think 1.00

00:03:48.420 You know what

00:03:49.420 I need to look a certain way

00:03:51.420 Or dress like this

00:03:52.420 Or females in general

00:03:53.420 This is for everyone actually

00:03:54.420 It's not just for Muslim females as well 1.00

00:03:55.420 And they believe

00:03:57.420 That dressing up

00:03:58.420 And this is something

00:03:59.420 That's a phenomenon that's happened now

00:04:00.420 That the

00:04:02.420 Less clothes you have

00:04:03.420 You know they use this phrase

00:04:04.420 Less is best

00:04:05.420 Yeah?

00:04:06.420 The less clothes that you have

00:04:07.420 The more attraction you're going to get

00:04:09.420 But what they're failing to understand

00:04:11.420 Is from my perspective

00:04:12.420 Is that

00:04:13.420 Wearing less clothes

00:04:15.420 You're going to get attention

00:04:16.420 By default

00:04:17.420 Because Allah told us in the Quran

00:04:18.420 And the prophet said

00:04:19.420 The biggest thing that I fear for my ummah

00:04:20.420 Is women 0.99

00:04:21.420 Now this does not mean women are evil 1.00

00:04:23.420 What this means is that

00:04:24.420 We have a weakness

00:04:25.420 So for example

00:04:26.420 A woman might have a weakness towards 1.00

00:04:27.420 Shopping

00:04:28.420 Bags

00:04:29.420 It doesn't mean the bag is evil

00:04:30.420 It just means it's just your weakness

00:04:31.420 So when I say this

00:04:32.420 I just want to clarify

00:04:33.420 I'm not saying women are 1.00

00:04:34.420 Some evil creatures

00:04:35.420 When I say that

00:04:36.420 So we know by nature

00:04:37.420 A man's weakness is a woman 1.00

00:04:39.420 Yeah

00:04:40.420 So now

00:04:41.420 When a woman 0.99

00:04:42.420 Dresses up in a certain manner

00:04:44.420 She believes

00:04:45.420 For example

00:04:46.420 That she's going to get attention

00:04:47.420 Yeah

00:04:48.420 Is that the right attention?

00:04:50.420 Because

00:04:51.420 Men

00:04:52.420 Can fall in love the wrong way

00:04:53.420 And that's why

00:04:54.420 A lot of women 1.00

00:04:55.420 Get heartbroken

00:04:56.420 And they think to themselves

00:04:57.420 You know what

00:04:58.420 I thought he loved me

00:04:59.420 I thought he really

00:05:00.420 And then

00:05:01.420 She's used

00:05:02.420 And abused

00:05:03.420 Yeah

00:05:04.420 What is the factor?

00:05:05.420 What

00:05:06.420 Like if your sister's watching this

00:05:07.420 Or a female's watching this 1.00

00:05:08.420 Yeah

00:05:09.420 As a male

00:05:10.420 Yeah

00:05:11.420 As a male

00:05:12.420 Yeah

00:05:13.420 What's going wrong?

00:05:14.420 Like to think about it like this is that

00:05:16.420 Going back to like a

00:05:18.420 A young

00:05:19.420 Going back to the young mentality

00:05:20.420 Usually for

00:05:21.420 Usually when I was with my mates

00:05:22.420 And stuff like that as well

00:05:23.420 And I'm going to say it as it is

00:05:25.420 As it is

00:05:26.420 Yeah

00:05:27.420 If you see a pengting 0.99

00:05:29.420 Which is what they go with

00:05:30.420 They call the term

00:05:31.420 That's the term isn't it?

00:05:32.420 If you see a pengting 0.99

00:05:33.420 It sounds like a penguin by the way

00:05:34.420 Exactly

00:05:35.420 No pengting just means like

00:05:36.420 A good looking person

00:05:37.420 Good beautiful woman

00:05:38.420 Back in my days they would say buff

00:05:39.420 Buff

00:05:40.420 Yeah buff

00:05:41.420 Nowadays like

00:05:42.420 Or buffalo

00:05:43.420 Your peng 0.67

00:05:44.420 It's like

00:05:45.420 It's the fact that

00:05:46.420 If you see someone like that

00:05:47.420 If you see someone like that

00:05:48.420 That's just what attracts a man 0.97

00:05:50.420 Obviously like you said

00:05:51.420 Women for us is a fit nines 1.00

00:05:53.420 It's for us is that

00:05:54.420 We naturally attract

00:05:56.420 Naturally attract a woman 1.00

00:05:57.420 And it's obviously an obligation to

00:05:59.420 Glow our gaze

00:06:00.420 Yeah

00:06:01.420 That's what we

00:06:02.420 That's what women want to do 1.00

00:06:03.420 But

00:06:04.420 For

00:06:05.420 If a woman is dressed up in a certain way 1.00

00:06:08.420 And I

00:06:09.420 There's

00:06:10.420 A lot of people have fallen into this as well

00:06:11.420 A lot of men have fallen into this as well

00:06:13.420 Yeah

00:06:14.420 Is that

00:06:15.420 What ends up happening is that

00:06:16.420 When you see someone that's very attractive

00:06:17.420 Yeah

00:06:18.420 Very attractive

00:06:19.420 What the main

00:06:20.420 The main thing

00:06:21.420 And I know this is

00:06:22.420 There's a lot of people out there

00:06:23.420 I have friends

00:06:24.420 I used to have friends

00:06:25.420 Yeah

00:06:26.420 That had the same mentality

00:06:28.420 Yes

00:06:29.420 All they were looking for

00:06:30.420 Is to get with this person

00:06:31.420 Yes

00:06:32.420 Don't care about their feelings

00:06:33.420 Or anything like that

00:06:34.420 Yeah

00:06:35.420 And

00:06:36.420 They just want to

00:06:37.420 If you know what I mean

00:06:38.420 Just have

00:06:39.420 Exactly

00:06:40.420 Just have

00:06:41.420 Just commit adultery basically isn't it

00:06:42.420 Yeah

00:06:43.420 And

00:06:44.420 Zinner

00:06:45.420 Zinner

00:06:46.420 Zinner

00:06:47.420 Married men 0.66

00:06:48.420 Is it Zinner 0.98

00:06:49.420 Yeah

00:06:50.420 Yeah okay

00:06:51.420 They just want to

00:06:52.420 Let

00:06:53.420 Just want to go into something

00:06:54.420 Out of lust

00:06:55.420 Exactly

00:06:56.420 Some people might

00:06:57.420 Just

00:06:58.420 See that woman as an object 1.00

00:07:00.420 There you go

00:07:01.420 Having a nice car

00:07:02.420 And you want to show off your nice car to everyone

00:07:04.420 To make them think that you have

00:07:06.420 Something

00:07:07.420 Something good

00:07:08.420 Who's at fault here

00:07:09.420 If we were saying

00:07:10.420 Is it the females that dress up like this 1.00

00:07:12.420 Is it the males mentality

00:07:14.420 Like why is it

00:07:15.420 Because the thing is

00:07:16.420 I truly believe

00:07:17.420 This is something that is forgotten

00:07:18.420 And we really need to emphasise on this issue

00:07:20.420 Yeah

00:07:21.420 As Muslim men

00:07:22.420 Ourselves

00:07:23.420 With what we believe

00:07:24.420 Even if a woman 0.99

00:07:25.420 Because this is the mentality of my friends

00:07:26.420 Yeah

00:07:27.420 So back in the days

00:07:28.420 Before I came to Islam

00:07:29.420 If she's dressed up like that

00:07:31.420 Or she looks like that 0.97

00:07:32.420 She deserves it 0.89

00:07:33.420 I'm going to use her

00:07:34.420 Brother look look look

00:07:35.420 As a Muslim

00:07:36.420 Okay non Muslim 1.00

00:07:37.420 Or

00:07:38.420 Even if you're Muslim 1.00

00:07:39.420 And you've got the wrong mentality 0.96

00:07:40.420 As a Muslim

00:07:41.420 Even if she doesn't respect herself

00:07:43.420 Who told you

00:07:44.420 That you need to

00:07:46.420 Treat to know

00:07:47.420 You should be

00:07:48.420 You should do the right thing

00:07:49.420 You know

00:07:50.420 And there's a lot of brothers I know

00:07:51.420 Alhamdulillah

00:07:52.420 That if they did come across something like this

00:07:54.420 Where they

00:07:55.420 Let's say they would go

00:07:56.420 I've heard this experience

00:07:57.420 Where they would go to a marriage meeting

00:07:58.420 Or whatever

00:07:59.420 And the person

00:08:00.420 And obviously

00:08:01.420 There's

00:08:02.420 The right way to go about it

00:08:03.420 With the woolly

00:08:04.420 Right?

00:08:05.420 But because they're meeting for example

00:08:06.420 And he senses something

00:08:07.420 From the female 0.99

00:08:08.420 That she's after something else

00:08:09.420 He would

00:08:10.420 He would tell me

00:08:11.420 One brother said to me

00:08:12.420 He said

00:08:13.420 Even though I sensed that

00:08:14.420 Like she was kind of going that

00:08:15.420 And I felt a bit awkward

00:08:16.420 I had to tell her

00:08:17.420 My sister like

00:08:18.420 You know

00:08:19.420 I'm not here for that

00:08:20.420 And that's how it needs to be

00:08:21.420 You know what

00:08:22.420 She

00:08:23.420 Sorry for saying this

00:08:24.420 She's asking for it

00:08:25.420 I'm going to go and

00:08:26.420 No!

00:08:27.420 You should be the better person

00:08:28.420 You should fear Allah 1.00

00:08:29.420 And say you know what

00:08:30.420 And this can actually change your mentality

00:08:31.420 And say you know what

00:08:32.420 Is up for it

00:08:33.420 And this brother actually honoured me

00:08:34.420 And respected me

00:08:35.420 And corrected me

00:08:36.420 Yeah

00:08:37.420 Instead of this other mentality of

00:08:38.420 Nah she's going to be like 0.96

00:08:39.420 I'm going to

00:08:40.420 No you don't do that

00:08:41.420 That's true

00:08:42.420 That's true

00:08:43.420 He's saying

00:08:44.420 When a man and a woman are together 1.00

00:08:45.420 Yeah

00:08:46.420 By themselves

00:08:47.420 Exactly

00:08:48.420 The Prophet ﷺ clearly said that

00:08:49.420 Exactly

00:08:50.420 But

00:08:51.420 The Quran clearly says

00:08:53.420 That we should be forbidding evil

00:08:56.420 And doing good

00:08:57.420 And doing good and forbidding evil

00:08:58.420 We should be forbidding evil

00:09:00.420 Yeah

00:09:01.420 By doing something good in its place

00:09:02.420 Yes

00:09:03.420 So if you do

00:09:04.420 If you do see a sister

00:09:05.420 And you're attracted to her

00:09:06.420 Yeah

00:09:07.420 You shouldn't demonise her

00:09:09.420 Into an object

00:09:10.420 You should see that as an opportunity

00:09:12.420 For you to do something good

00:09:14.420 By advising her

00:09:15.420 Of course

00:09:16.420 No no

00:09:17.420 That's definitely true

00:09:18.420 So

00:09:19.420 What I'm trying to come at

00:09:20.420 Is that

00:09:21.420 Our psychology

00:09:22.420 Because there's a lot of sisters watching now 1.00

00:09:23.420 Female 0.86

00:09:24.420 They would want to understand the psychology

00:09:25.420 Yeah yeah

00:09:26.420 If we see

00:09:27.420 A female 0.98

00:09:28.420 That's the

00:09:29.420 Number one first

00:09:30.420 We should be low in our gaze anyway

00:09:31.420 Yeah yeah

00:09:32.420 But in general

00:09:33.420 For men

00:09:34.420 Who don't

00:09:35.420 Is that

00:09:36.420 The reason they fall in love the wrong way

00:09:37.420 Our sisters

00:09:38.420 Our females that are watching 0.99

00:09:39.420 Is the fact that

00:09:40.420 They

00:09:41.420 Our weakness is

00:09:42.420 Like 0.69

00:09:43.420 Is a female yeah 0.87

00:09:44.420 In an appropriate way

00:09:45.420 Yeah

00:09:46.420 That

00:09:47.420 You know

00:09:48.420 Increases their desires

00:09:49.420 Yeah okay

00:09:50.420 Because it's been

00:09:51.420 Rubbed in your face

00:09:52.420 And I'm not going to give the example 0.96

00:09:53.420 Of a cheeseburger

00:09:54.420 And equate women 1.00

00:09:55.420 They're not burgers

00:09:56.420 I'm not saying that yeah

00:09:57.420 The reason I'm saying it

00:09:58.420 Is because

00:09:59.420 If somebody has inflammation

00:10:00.420 Or if someone likes eating something

00:10:01.420 Yeah

00:10:02.420 If it's always rubbed in your face

00:10:03.420 And made it look attractive

00:10:04.420 It just enhances those desires

00:10:05.420 Yeah yeah yeah

00:10:06.420 And I'm not saying once again

00:10:07.420 Women are 1.00

00:10:08.420 You know that example of rollipop 0.97

00:10:09.420 I really hate it yeah

00:10:10.420 I'm not using that

00:10:11.420 I'm just trying to

00:10:12.420 Yeah exactly yeah

00:10:13.420 I'll give you that example

00:10:14.420 But what it is

00:10:15.420 Our dear female viewers

00:10:17.420 Is that

00:10:18.420 What happens is

00:10:19.420 A man's desires 0.99

00:10:20.420 He's there

00:10:21.420 He has a desire problem

00:10:22.420 Okay

00:10:23.420 And Allah

00:10:24.420 Subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:10:25.420 Told us ways

00:10:26.420 To tame that yeah

00:10:27.420 But however living in a society

00:10:28.420 When a lot of females 1.00

00:10:29.420 Are dressed up in an inappropriate way

00:10:30.420 What happens is

00:10:31.420 Men tend to fall in love 0.89

00:10:32.420 The wrong way

00:10:33.420 So what they do is

00:10:34.420 They would

00:10:35.420 When they're speaking to you

00:10:36.420 Let's say I'm speaking

00:10:37.420 Let's say I'm 0.96

00:10:38.420 I'm a bad Muslim 0.95

00:10:39.420 Let's say I'm a Muslim 0.98

00:10:40.420 I don't know my gays 0.96

00:10:41.420 Etc 0.61

00:10:42.420 When I'm speaking to you

00:10:43.420 And you're dressing in an appropriate way

00:10:44.420 Automatically

00:10:45.420 In my head

00:10:46.420 Yeah

00:10:47.420 I'm not even

00:10:48.420 In my head

00:10:49.420 It's

00:10:50.420 A man's 0.99

00:10:51.420 Trust me yeah

00:10:52.420 They think it's like two

00:10:53.420 It's like bipolar yeah

00:10:54.420 Yeah

00:10:55.420 So now he's thinking the wrong way

00:10:56.420 Because now he can see

00:10:57.420 Whatever it may be yeah

00:10:58.420 And now his desires

00:10:59.420 Are flaming up

00:11:00.420 And he's thinking

00:11:01.420 I want to commit

00:11:03.420 It's physiology isn't it

00:11:05.420 Yes

00:11:06.420 So what happens is though

00:11:07.420 This is where

00:11:08.420 This is the crux of the matter

00:11:09.420 This is where the females 0.99

00:11:11.420 Get that attention

00:11:12.420 And think

00:11:13.420 Oh he likes me

00:11:14.420 He does like you

00:11:15.420 He definitely does like you

00:11:17.420 But what does he like you for

00:11:19.420 This is a really important point here

00:11:21.420 Does he like you

00:11:22.420 For you

00:11:23.420 Or does he like you for something else

00:11:25.420 Yeah

00:11:26.420 So this is where

00:11:27.420 Men fall in love the wrong way

00:11:29.420 So there was a statement that I saw

00:11:31.420 It was a post that made by someone

00:11:33.420 Saying that

00:11:34.420 We do

00:11:35.420 We lower our gaze

00:11:36.420 Not because you are not beautiful

00:11:39.420 But we don't want to fall in love the wrong way

00:11:41.420 Now

00:11:42.420 Yeah so the thing is

00:11:43.420 This is why

00:11:44.420 Wallah look at the hikm of Allah 1.00

00:11:46.420 That's why Allah when Allah 0.99

00:11:47.420 Reveals something

00:11:48.420 To lower your gaze

00:11:49.420 And what is a reminder to all of us

00:11:50.420 You know

00:11:51.420 We should increase in doing that inshallah as well

00:11:52.420 And it's really hard

00:11:53.420 But

00:11:54.420 Our dear sisters

00:11:55.420 What you need to understand

00:11:56.420 Is that

00:11:57.420 When you look a certain way

00:11:58.420 Or dress a certain way

00:11:59.420 To get attention

00:12:00.420 But it's the wrong form of attention

00:12:01.420 And men will end up falling in love

00:12:03.420 I'll call it lust

00:12:04.420 The wrong way

00:12:05.420 And because they've

00:12:07.420 Come to you

00:12:08.420 And want to be with you

00:12:09.420 For the wrong reasons

00:12:10.420 When they find someone

00:12:11.420 Better looking

00:12:12.420 With what you have to offer

00:12:14.420 They're going to fall in love

00:12:15.420 With that person

00:12:16.420 The wrong way

00:12:17.420 And the cycle is going to continue

00:12:18.420 You know

00:12:19.420 May Allah protect our sisters from that

00:12:21.420 I mean

00:12:22.420 But the issue is

00:12:23.420 They also need to protect their selves

00:12:25.420 True

00:12:26.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:12:27.420 For the men 0.58

00:12:28.420 I'm not here coming and saying

00:12:29.420 Females are only to blame 1.00

00:12:30.420 No 0.99

00:12:31.420 Because it goes back to what I said before

00:12:32.420 We are taught to lower our gaze

00:12:34.420 Not based on how they're dressed

00:12:35.420 This is very crucial

00:12:36.420 This is very important

00:12:37.420 Yeah?

00:12:38.420 Because I don't want to be

00:12:39.420 You know some YouTube

00:12:40.420 You're dressed up like this

00:12:41.420 You deserve it

00:12:42.420 No!

00:12:43.420 What are you talking about?

00:12:44.420 Allah didn't 1.00

00:12:45.420 Did you give him a chance to see?

00:12:46.420 Yeah

00:12:47.420 So do you know every time you lower your gaze

00:12:48.420 Obviously it benefits you

00:12:49.420 Because obviously

00:12:50.420 Whenever you lower your gaze

00:12:51.420 There is a reason behind it

00:12:52.420 You always think to yourself like

00:12:53.420 Because obviously you can sit there

00:12:54.420 And be like 0.99

00:12:55.420 Damn 0.99

00:12:56.420 But no no no 0.99

00:12:57.420 So I mean

00:12:58.420 You can sit there and do that

00:12:59.420 But then afterwards

00:13:00.420 When you think about it

00:13:01.420 And you think about

00:13:02.420 Why I'm lowering my gaze

00:13:03.420 And the reason behind my lower gaze

00:13:04.420 Is to help you increase taqwa

00:13:06.420 Yes yes yes

00:13:07.420 To understand

00:13:08.420 To understand

00:13:09.420 And to know

00:13:10.420 Look I'm doing this because

00:13:11.420 Allah has commanded me

00:13:12.420 To know my gaze

00:13:13.420 He said to me to do this

00:13:14.420 And if you don't fear Allah 1.00

00:13:16.420 Then

00:13:17.420 That says something about them

00:13:19.420 And

00:13:20.420 It's much harder to lower your gaze

00:13:21.420 When someone's beautified themselves

00:13:24.420 Makes it much harder to do that

00:13:26.420 Yes but then it comes down

00:13:27.420 It's going to be hard

00:13:28.420 But there's no excuse

00:13:29.420 That's a reminder to me

00:13:31.420 Everyone first

00:13:32.420 You know

00:13:33.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say

00:13:34.420 That's what Allah says

00:13:35.420 Zina 0.79

00:13:36.420 Don't even come close to Zina 1.00

00:13:38.420 Now

00:13:39.420 Some people think to their self

00:13:40.420 Ah that means

00:13:41.420 I can kiss

00:13:42.420 I can touch

00:13:43.420 I can hug

00:13:44.420 I can do this 0.97

00:13:45.420 But as long as I don't commit sexual intercourse 0.74

00:13:46.420 No

00:13:47.420 What that means is

00:13:48.420 Brother

00:13:49.420 Zina is there

00:13:50.420 You don't go

00:13:51.420 Ok I'll go

00:13:52.420 You go round

00:13:53.420 The other side of the block

00:13:55.420 Literally look

00:13:56.420 If this is there

00:13:57.420 You don't say

00:13:58.420 Ok I'll go round it

00:13:59.420 This is

00:14:00.420 Because what Allah says

00:14:01.420 Is like a magnetic field

00:14:02.420 And this is very profound

00:14:03.420 That Allah

00:14:04.420 This is the only sin

00:14:05.420 That Allah said

00:14:06.420 Don't even go near it

00:14:07.420 And that's quite profound

00:14:08.420 So what that means is

00:14:09.420 Brother

00:14:10.420 There's people

00:14:11.420 That means it can start with a gaze

00:14:12.420 Believe me

00:14:13.420 Because when

00:14:14.420 And this is a very profound statement as well

00:14:15.420 The heart doesn't desire

00:14:17.420 But the eyes don't see

00:14:18.420 This is quite profound

00:14:20.420 You're not going to desire something that

00:14:22.420 It's not

00:14:23.420 You're not looking at

00:14:24.420 You get what I'm trying to say?

00:14:25.420 So if you never for example

00:14:31.420 Tasted a strawberry

00:14:32.420 Yeah?

00:14:33.420 You're not going to have a desire

00:14:34.420 Because you've never come across it

00:14:35.420 You don't know what it is

00:14:36.420 But once you taste it

00:14:37.420 Yeah?

00:14:38.420 And once again

00:14:39.420 I'm not saying women are strawberries 1.00

00:14:40.420 Ok?

00:14:41.420 I'm not saying

00:14:42.420 I'm not saying men are pears

00:14:44.420 Or whatever

00:14:45.420 The fact is

00:14:46.420 I'm talking about our inner desires

00:14:48.420 Desires, yeah?

00:14:49.420 But once you taste strawberry

00:14:51.420 Then you're going to be like

00:14:52.420 Wow, I want

00:14:53.420 Again and again and again

00:14:54.420 And once you're bored with strawberry

00:14:55.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:14:56.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:14:57.420 So the issue here is

00:14:58.420 It's really important for us to lower our gaze

00:14:59.420 Because it's the key

00:15:00.420 To the heart

00:15:01.420 Because that's where

00:15:02.420 If you don't lower your gaze

00:15:03.420 Trust me

00:15:04.420 People fall into Zinnah 0.60

00:15:05.420 Yeah

00:15:06.420 Believe me

00:15:07.420 You might say what?

00:15:08.420 Just buy looking

00:15:09.420 Buy looking brother

00:15:10.420 Because it's that one look that's going to lead to another

00:15:11.420 And that was a constant thing

00:15:12.420 Of

00:15:13.420 And this is a reminder to myself

00:15:14.420 Of course

00:15:15.420 Wallahi

00:15:16.420 It's a reminder to all of us

00:15:17.420 We're superhumans

00:15:18.420 We're perfect

00:15:19.420 But this is what happens

00:15:20.420 You know

00:15:21.420 Had that you've been quiet

00:15:22.420 This is not a show for you to come

00:15:23.420 And just drink your

00:15:24.420 What is it called?

00:15:25.420 You need to

00:15:26.420 You know

00:15:27.420 You've got to bring some

00:15:28.420 You know

00:15:29.420 You're a youngster

00:15:30.420 You're 25

00:15:31.420 You can put it on here

00:15:32.420 Non-alcoholic

00:15:33.420 That's why brothers and sisters assume the best in us

00:15:35.420 Inshallah

00:15:36.420 I've been listening to what you've been saying

00:15:37.420 And it's true 0.94

00:15:38.420 Like

00:15:39.420 Like

00:15:40.420 No one's ever

00:15:41.420 Going up to someone

00:15:42.420 And had Zinnah

00:15:43.420 Without looking at them

00:15:44.420 Yeah

00:15:45.420 That's very true

00:15:46.420 Simply put

00:15:47.420 Yeah

00:15:48.420 There's always an interaction

00:15:49.420 Exactly

00:15:50.420 That's quite profound

00:15:51.420 I've been adding on to that

00:15:53.420 Is that

00:15:54.420 You know

00:15:55.420 Because we live

00:15:56.420 In Britain

00:15:57.420 Yeah

00:15:58.420 We live in a non-muslim country 1.00

00:15:59.420 Yeah

00:16:00.420 Zinnah

00:16:01.420 There's Fetna all around us 1.00

00:16:02.420 Yeah

00:16:03.420 And

00:16:04.420 Obviously

00:16:05.420 Like you said

00:16:06.420 It's our obligation

00:16:07.420 We have to look down

00:16:08.420 We have to know our gaze

00:16:09.420 But then afterwards

00:16:10.420 As there is

00:16:11.420 You get Shaitan whispering in your ear

00:16:13.420 And it can become difficult

00:16:14.420 And not only is it

00:16:15.420 Not only is it like

00:16:16.420 It's out there

00:16:17.420 Because you can stay at home

00:16:18.420 Your whole life

00:16:19.420 And not see anyone

00:16:20.420 But then you have your television

00:16:22.420 Then you have your phone

00:16:23.420 And the banners

00:16:24.420 Then you have your laptop

00:16:25.420 Your phone, everything

00:16:26.420 Exactly

00:16:27.420 And you have social media now as well

00:16:29.420 And

00:16:30.420 You come around

00:16:31.420 Discussing things

00:16:32.420 And whatever

00:16:33.420 You can

00:16:34.420 This is the way

00:16:35.420 You're living

00:16:36.420 So

00:16:37.420 It's difficult

00:16:38.420 It is difficult

00:16:39.420 I have brothers at the moment

00:16:40.420 That are struggling at the moment

00:16:41.420 Yeah

00:16:42.420 Because

00:16:43.420 And I have a lot of brothers

00:16:44.420 Coming into Islam

00:16:46.420 That are struggling at the moment

00:16:47.420 Because obviously

00:16:48.420 They're leaving that life

00:16:49.420 To join

00:16:50.420 To join our life

00:16:51.420 To join the life of a Muslim

00:16:53.420 Yeah

00:16:54.420 So it's difficult

00:16:55.420 And living in this country

00:16:56.420 Makes it difficult as well

00:16:57.420 But Alhamdulillah

00:16:58.420 As we grow as people

00:17:01.420 As we increase ourselves

00:17:02.420 In taqwa 0.89

00:17:03.420 And understand

00:17:04.420 Why we do this

00:17:05.420 Yeah

00:17:06.420 Why we

00:17:07.420 Why we have to do this

00:17:08.420 Yeah

00:17:09.420 And why we have to lower our gaze

00:17:10.420 Yeah

00:17:11.420 Inshallah

00:17:12.420 Allah makes it easier for us 0.99

00:17:13.420 Yeah

00:17:14.420 Allah makes it easier for us 0.99

00:17:15.420 But

00:17:16.420 Alhamdulillah

00:17:17.420 Like

00:17:18.420 When it comes to this kind of

00:17:19.420 When it comes to this kind of topic

00:17:20.420 And it comes to this kind of stuff

00:17:21.420 Do you know when you said

00:17:22.420 When it comes to the first question

00:17:23.420 Like the question before

00:17:24.420 You were talking about the blame

00:17:25.420 Who's to blame

00:17:26.420 Yeah

00:17:27.420 I feel like the main

00:17:28.420 I feel like

00:17:29.420 Obviously

00:17:30.420 Brothers and sisters

00:17:31.420 They're both

00:17:32.420 They have blame in both parts

00:17:33.420 Yeah

00:17:34.420 But like sisters

00:17:35.420 Sisters

00:17:36.420 Sisters

00:17:37.420 The whole

00:17:39.420 Niqab 0.98

00:17:40.420 And stuff like that

00:17:41.420 I'm not saying that

00:17:42.420 There's nothing wrong with it

00:17:43.420 Yeah

00:17:44.420 There's nothing wrong with it

00:17:45.420 I'm not saying that

00:17:46.420 It's like I'm not enforcing on them

00:17:47.420 Yeah of course

00:17:48.420 But the thing is that

00:17:49.420 I feel like sisters

00:17:51.420 Sisters need to understand that 1.00

00:17:52.420 Look

00:17:53.420 If

00:17:54.420 If

00:17:55.420 You are dressed in a certain way

00:17:56.420 A man is going to

00:17:57.420 A man is going to look 0.96

00:17:58.420 Yeah

00:17:59.420 Not

00:18:00.420 He's going to look because

00:18:01.420 It's

00:18:02.420 Because he's a weakness for him

00:18:03.420 Yes

00:18:04.420 He will look because he's a weakness for him

00:18:05.420 So that's

00:18:06.420 That will happen

00:18:07.420 Yeah

00:18:08.420 And obviously

00:18:09.420 For the man it's like

00:18:10.420 You have to look down

00:18:11.420 You have to look down

00:18:12.420 You know

00:18:13.420 You shouldn't be looking at stuff

00:18:14.420 That you shouldn't be looking at

00:18:15.420 Exactly

00:18:16.420 Then it comes to third blame

00:18:18.420 I think the biggest blame that we have at the moment

00:18:20.420 Is 0.88

00:18:21.420 What society teaches us

00:18:22.420 Yeah

00:18:23.420 And

00:18:24.420 It's how

00:18:25.420 Women have been 1.00

00:18:26.420 Women online

00:18:27.420 And have been so sexualised

00:18:29.420 Yeah

00:18:30.420 They've been so sexualised that

00:18:31.420 And this is

00:18:32.420 This is what

00:18:33.420 This is what happens is that

00:18:34.420 Once

00:18:35.420 When they've been making it so sexualised

00:18:37.420 Putting half naked women online 1.00

00:18:39.420 Putting ads

00:18:40.420 And putting promotional videos

00:18:42.420 Putting promotional videos

00:18:43.420 Now you see

00:18:44.420 Now you see it more

00:18:45.420 And more and more and more

00:18:46.420 Makes you desensitised

00:18:48.420 Exactly

00:18:49.420 That's what happens

00:18:50.420 And what happens is

00:18:51.420 What happens with that

00:18:52.420 Is that

00:18:53.420 And do you know like

00:18:54.420 Women want the skinny bodies 1.00

00:18:55.420 Yeah

00:18:56.420 And

00:18:57.420 They want all these different features

00:18:58.420 Yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:18:59.420 They want all these different features

00:19:00.420 The industry

00:19:01.420 Exactly

00:19:02.420 They want these specific features

00:19:03.420 And stuff

00:19:04.420 You know the Prophet Sallam said

00:19:05.420 There will be a movement

00:19:06.420 To corrupt women 1.00

00:19:07.420 So we see these things going on

00:19:09.420 Like people are telling women

00:19:10.420 You have to look like this

00:19:11.420 You have to be that kind of way

00:19:12.420 You have to wear this makeup

00:19:13.420 It makes them insecure

00:19:14.420 You said the Prophet said that

00:19:15.420 Where did he say that

00:19:16.420 I can't remember the source

00:19:18.420 Okay but

00:19:19.420 I feel just as a reminder

00:19:20.420 To me myself

00:19:21.420 Sometimes I fall into this as well

00:19:22.420 I say that

00:19:23.420 It's just because you know

00:19:24.420 If the Prophet didn't say something

00:19:25.420 You know

00:19:26.420 Actually I fall into this a lot

00:19:27.420 Yeah it's just a reminder

00:19:28.420 Because we don't want other people to adore

00:19:29.420 Inshallah

00:19:30.420 If you know the source exactly

00:19:31.420 Inshallah

00:19:32.420 Do mention it

00:19:33.420 But if you can remember it Haida

00:19:34.420 We can put it at the text below

00:19:35.420 After the show

00:19:36.420 But if you can it would be good

00:19:37.420 Yeah but

00:19:38.420 If not we should be very careful

00:19:39.420 Not to ascribe anything to the Prophet

00:19:40.420 Unless we're certain of it

00:19:41.420 So

00:19:42.420 And also one thing that's really important

00:19:43.420 Is that we do have sisters who wear the clothing

00:19:46.420 Like they cover their self

00:19:47.420 But I'll be honest

00:19:49.420 Some of them they wear it tight

00:19:52.420 And some of them do it on purpose

00:19:54.420 So the question that you need to ask yourself is

00:19:56.420 Why are you doing that?

00:19:58.420 Yeah?

00:19:59.420 And there's some who

00:20:00.420 Maybe they can't help it

00:20:01.420 Yeah?

00:20:02.420 They're just like that

00:20:03.420 Yeah?

00:20:04.420 But the issue is

00:20:05.420 Is that some actually do it on purpose

00:20:06.420 Yeah?

00:20:07.420 And sisters

00:20:08.420 This is a reminder to all of us

00:20:10.420 Is that

00:20:11.420 You doing that you're sinning

00:20:12.420 Because if you're doing that

00:20:13.420 With the intentions told

00:20:14.420 That men can look at you 0.89

00:20:15.420 Which they end up

00:20:16.420 Falling in love the wrong way

00:20:18.420 And give you false promises

00:20:19.420 And hurt you and leave

00:20:20.420 If you're doing that you're sinning

00:20:22.420 You're sinning

00:20:23.420 You're sinning

00:20:24.420 That

00:20:25.420 They should be lowering their gaze

00:20:26.420 But

00:20:27.420 There's a lot of men out there

00:20:28.420 There's Muslims and non-Muslims 1.00

00:20:29.420 And there's Muslims that 0.58

00:20:30.420 You know

00:20:31.420 They don't follow it

00:20:32.420 You're falling in sin

00:20:33.420 You're falling in sin

00:20:34.420 Attracting towards them

00:20:35.420 And not only that

00:20:36.420 You're going to make them

00:20:37.420 Fall in love with you the wrong way

00:20:38.420 And give you false promises

00:20:39.420 I'll repeat it again

00:20:40.420 And you're the one that's going to be hurt

00:20:42.420 So let a man 0.91

00:20:43.420 And that's why one thing that I really

00:20:45.420 Like about

00:20:46.420 The whole point of the hijab 1.00

00:20:47.420 And

00:20:48.420 Is that

00:20:49.420 You're covered everywhere

00:20:50.420 So when you're talking

00:20:51.420 Let's say

00:20:52.420 Females by the way 1.00

00:20:53.420 This is like

00:20:54.420 If you need to

00:20:55.420 Because there's this whole thing of

00:20:56.420 Oh women are robots 1.00

00:20:57.420 And when you see them

00:20:58.420 You hide behind them

00:20:59.420 In Westwood you have to be careful

00:21:00.420 This notion

00:21:01.420 No

00:21:02.420 At the time of the sahaba for example

00:21:03.420 Women that would 1.00

00:21:04.420 Would be involved in trade

00:21:05.420 They would have to

00:21:06.420 They would haggle

00:21:07.420 And normally they would have to take the niqab off 1.00

00:21:08.420 So the person knows who they're buying it from

00:21:09.420 Even some women are involved in battle 1.00

00:21:10.420 Like Nusayba 1.00

00:21:11.420 Exactly

00:21:12.420 There you go

00:21:13.420 There's a lot of examples

00:21:14.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:21:15.420 Yeah so what I was saying

00:21:16.420 Is the fact about the hijab for example

00:21:17.420 Is that

00:21:18.420 If you're speaking to a sister

00:21:19.420 She's covered

00:21:20.420 Yeah

00:21:21.420 You don't see nothing

00:21:22.420 But her

00:21:23.420 Face

00:21:24.420 So you treat her

00:21:25.420 I'm not

00:21:26.420 I'm saying

00:21:27.420 You should treat every woman

00:21:28.420 No matter how they're dressed

00:21:29.420 I'm just trying to make that

00:21:30.420 Maybe the wisdom behind

00:21:31.420 Allah SWT 0.93

00:21:32.420 She's covered

00:21:33.420 You can't see

00:21:34.420 Her chest

00:21:35.420 Whatever

00:21:36.420 Whatever

00:21:37.420 So now as a human

00:21:38.420 This is how everyone should be anyway

00:21:40.420 But you

00:21:42.420 You speak to the face

00:21:43.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:21:44.420 This is really important

00:21:45.420 Because the recent scientific study that was done

00:21:46.420 Where they showed men

00:21:47.420 Women in bikinis 1.00

00:21:48.420 A part of the brain

00:21:50.420 That lit up for tool use

00:21:51.420 It was lit up

00:21:52.420 It was lit up

00:21:53.420 Yeah

00:21:54.420 So he saw the women as objects

00:21:55.420 He did not see them as humans

00:21:57.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:21:58.420 So now

00:21:59.420 Just to make it very clear

00:22:00.420 We're not saying that

00:22:01.420 You just

00:22:02.420 Treat and respect women 1.00

00:22:03.420 That are hijab 1.00

00:22:04.420 I'm just trying to say

00:22:05.420 Maybe the wisdom behind

00:22:06.420 Why that is

00:22:07.420 Because once they're covered up fully

00:22:08.420 You're only seeing the face

00:22:09.420 So your desires are not going to be

00:22:11.420 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:22:12.420 Yeah yeah yeah

00:22:13.420 You're talking to her

00:22:14.420 And you know

00:22:15.420 Obviously people can argue

00:22:16.420 And say okay

00:22:17.420 Well if he's a really

00:22:18.420 Attractive looking woman 1.00

00:22:19.420 Etc

00:22:20.420 And then the scholars said

00:22:21.420 If you're in that case

00:22:22.420 We're in the car

00:22:23.420 But anyway that's it

00:22:24.420 Brothers and sisters

00:22:25.420 Thank you for watching

00:22:26.420 From the house it was interesting

00:22:27.420 Hopefully you understand

00:22:28.420 And inshallah

00:22:29.420 Benefit from this video

00:22:30.420 Inshallah brothers and sisters

00:22:31.420 And inshallah

00:22:32.420 For both

00:22:33.420 Males and females

00:22:34.420 Allah SWT has ordered you 0.97

00:22:35.420 To be modest

00:22:36.420 And let's keep that in mind

00:22:37.420 And inshallah

00:22:38.420 So

00:22:39.420 You don't fall in the trap

00:22:40.420 Of a man falling in love

00:22:41.420 The wrong way

00:22:42.420 And maybe hurting you

00:22:43.420 Allah bless you guys

00:22:44.420 Assalamualaikum

00:22:45.420 Till next time

00:22:46.420 If there's any specific topic

00:22:47.420 You want us to cover

00:22:48.420 Comment in the section below

00:22:49.420 Share this with your friends and family

00:22:50.420 Assalamualaikum

00:22:51.420 Assalamualaikum

00:22:52.420 很久

00:22:53.420 Yes

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Ali Dawah - September 03, 2018

HOW MEN FALL IN LOVE THE WRONG WAY

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