Ali Dawah - February 15, 2018


I PIERCED MY CHEEKS IM UGLY - Q&A WITH SIS


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

198.23074

Word count

1,957

Sentence count

88

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Toxicity

7

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak with two Muslim sisters, who have a different perspective on the matter. They share their perspective on this topic and give some insight on what they believe to be the root cause of the problem and how to overcome it.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 A sister sends me a nude pic. Like, disgusting, yeah? 1.00
00:00:06.660 Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, brothers and sisters and dear friends.
00:00:09.820 Welcome back to my channel.
00:00:12.500 Today, as you guys know, with my previous one that I did with a sister about non-Muslim asking for my number,
00:00:20.680 the one that we discussed with her sisters, and just having a sister's perspective, inshaAllah,
00:00:24.800 I've got two sisters here, I want to ask them a question because this is something really important,
00:00:27.940 I want to tell you guys a message that I received from a sister, yeah?
00:00:32.020 And she was basically saying, she was saying, is it permissible to pierce my cheeks, yeah?
00:00:38.540 And I was thinking to myself, why is she asking that? Why do you want to pierce your cheeks, yeah?
00:00:43.340 I know there's all kind of madness going on, like piercing your eyebrows and nose, whatever,
00:00:47.540 but piercing your cheeks, and then I asked her why, and she was like, oh, because,
00:00:52.300 I think she was asking for a friend or herself, I don't know, she was like, because I want to have dimples, yeah?
00:00:58.280 Now, as females yourself, as sisters yourself, why does sisters, females in general, 1.00
00:01:05.320 why do they go to such levels of, like, I need to look this way, and I need to be like this,
00:01:10.320 and to the levels where you're going to pierce your cheeks, so it looks like you have dimples, for what?
00:01:15.080 So this was something I was really curious about, yeah, and I know there's this insecurity thing,
00:01:18.360 but where do you think that stems from, where does that come from, of, I have to look this way, and I need to, like,
00:01:23.340 and it's a pattern that's changing.
00:01:25.680 Now, this is a question I want to ask about you guys, where do you think it's coming from?
00:01:28.860 She's a sister, yeah, I'm a Muslim sister.
00:01:32.340 Yeah.
00:01:32.940 Okay, so I really feel like maybe she might be influenced by what's around her,
00:01:39.420 what she's surrounding herself with, what she's looking at,
00:01:42.120 what she perceives as ideal beauty, which might not be correct, or, I mean...
00:01:51.260 Okay, but where does this pressure, where do you think, if I said to you,
00:01:55.780 give me three reasons why they feel like this, why do sisters feel like they're ugly, 1.00
00:02:00.380 and they have to look a certain way, and they need to dress a certain way,
00:02:03.300 what are the three factors, or two factors, that you would say influence them?
00:02:08.460 Both of you.
00:02:08.940 Well, I would say the media, pressure from the media,
00:02:13.960 is one, pressure from men, who watch things on the media, and fashion.
00:02:23.400 Fashion.
00:02:23.880 Would you agree with that, or would you add anything?
00:02:26.500 She's probably on the Instagram Explorer page,
00:02:31.360 or she doesn't have the right, I guess...
00:02:37.720 Guidance?
00:02:38.160 Yeah, self-confidence.
00:02:40.720 Okay.
00:02:41.660 I think the deen kind of lets you know that, I mean, why...
00:02:47.320 The reason why we can't do it is because we're changing the creation of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, 1.00
00:02:52.120 and the fact that He's perfect,
00:02:55.080 and, you know, He creates all things in perfection,
00:02:58.660 and you should kind of have that idea that I'm fine just the way I am.
00:03:03.280 I'm going to be that.
00:03:04.000 Yeah.
00:03:05.380 Okay.
00:03:05.700 Now, the reason why I did this, brothers and sisters who are watching, especially sisters as well,
00:03:09.560 is because, you see, I find it, like, I really sometimes feel sad for sisters.
00:03:14.300 Like, if there's any feminist, don't worry. 1.00
00:03:16.320 I don't feel like, you know, you need help in other ways.
00:03:19.000 I'm just trying to give an advice here, yeah?
00:03:20.400 It's because, if you think about it, yeah?
00:03:22.540 I look at the industry, and, like, for example, be it makeup, clothing, hair, whatever, 0.80
00:03:30.980 it's sad because you are made to feel uglier and uglier and uglier,
00:03:35.640 and then there's this image that you need to have, 0.58
00:03:38.080 and there's people that are actually in implants, yeah?
00:03:40.680 In parts of their body just to fit a certain...
00:03:43.700 And, Wallahi, to me, when you think about slavery,
00:03:47.100 or sometimes when you think about slavery,
00:03:49.280 people think about, you know, you're in shackles, you're in chains,
00:03:52.540 Wallahi, I don't believe that's slavery anymore.
00:03:55.060 We have become slaves to a society where sisters are going to extreme levels, 1.00
00:04:00.920 like, for example, be it your eyebrows, your forehead, your nose, your ears, your lips.
00:04:07.340 I swear to God, I saw one thing was going on where they were putting their lips into this bottle, yeah? 0.97
00:04:11.300 Just to make them look big, yeah?
00:04:13.560 And, Wallahi, if that is not slavery, I don't know what slavery is.
00:04:17.180 If that is not being slave to your desires and your society, Wallahi, I don't know what slavery is. 0.61
00:04:21.240 And the reason I'm making this video, sisters, for you guys specifically,
00:04:25.120 is to say that, look, you guys are beautiful in your own way.
00:04:28.560 Allah has created you in your own way. 0.91
00:04:30.980 Be happy.
00:04:31.940 Because if you're doing it for society,
00:04:33.800 Wallahi, on the day of judgment, society,
00:04:35.240 the society is not going to be there for you.
00:04:37.420 If you're doing it for a man, 0.96
00:04:39.040 and I genuinely believe, sisters, yeah?
00:04:40.840 Men play a big role.
00:04:42.280 And the reason I say this, and I'm going to blame men,
00:04:44.420 and I do get attacked for this,
00:04:46.200 but I have to be real,
00:04:47.540 and I'm not doing this just to get brownies from sisters, yeah?
00:04:50.800 Because men have become, 0.98
00:04:53.360 not every man,
00:04:54.860 but become so low
00:04:56.300 that they are now forcing,
00:04:58.600 because it's like a supply-demand thing.
00:04:59.800 I see it as like a supply-demand thing, yeah?
00:05:01.460 It's like a man has a, 0.99
00:05:04.500 okay, I want, you know,
00:05:06.820 so for example,
00:05:07.760 a man, for example, has certain expectations, yeah?
00:05:10.400 So he's looking,
00:05:11.400 okay, I want her to look like this, 0.69
00:05:13.120 and I want her to be like that.
00:05:14.760 So when this happens,
00:05:15.660 now sisters are thinking, 0.60
00:05:16.740 you know what,
00:05:17.020 if I don't look like this,
00:05:18.340 and behave like this,
00:05:19.440 or talk and walk like this,
00:05:21.040 nobody's going to want to marry me.
00:05:22.260 And this is the same thing that you have
00:05:23.940 with certain sisters who don't want to wear the hijab,
00:05:25.620 or whatever it may be,
00:05:26.560 because it's come to a point,
00:05:28.000 and this is,
00:05:28.520 I'll even tell you,
00:05:29.680 it's why Allah is sad, 1.00
00:05:30.440 I was just on my Snapchat coming here,
00:05:32.260 and the only reason I'm sharing this
00:05:33.340 is so you guys can benefit.
00:05:35.080 A sister sends me a nude pic, 0.99
00:05:36.940 like disgusting, yeah? 0.99
00:05:38.840 And it wasn't like nude nude, yeah?
00:05:40.640 But the reason I'm sharing this is,
00:05:42.000 you know why?
00:05:42.320 Because I said to that sister,
00:05:44.780 I replied and said,
00:05:45.880 Asalaamu alaikum sister,
00:05:46.640 I said, like,
00:05:48.140 I said, what did you get out of that?
00:05:49.420 Okay, all right,
00:05:49.980 you've sent it, okay.
00:05:52.300 I deleted it.
00:05:53.540 But what did you get out of that?
00:05:55.640 Like, what was it like,
00:05:56.620 okay, what did you achieve?
00:05:57.980 Like, is this what you're worth?
00:05:59.460 Is this,
00:06:00.020 do you think to yourself,
00:06:00.840 okay, what can I put on the table?
00:06:02.300 You don't trust your character,
00:06:03.660 your behavior,
00:06:04.620 your akhlaat,
00:06:05.560 your iman,
00:06:06.800 all you had to offer
00:06:07.920 to another man was your body.
00:06:09.880 And it really saddens me,
00:06:11.160 because it's like,
00:06:12.500 you're a human being,
00:06:14.380 you're a person,
00:06:15.880 you're not an object,
00:06:16.780 you're not a sexual object for a man,
00:06:18.560 that it's sad that you've come to a level
00:06:20.380 where you're thinking,
00:06:21.040 okay, how can I attract that guy?
00:06:23.300 Okay, not with my intellect,
00:06:25.640 with my character,
00:06:26.840 the way I carry myself,
00:06:28.080 with my iman,
00:06:28.820 nothing.
00:06:29.560 You stoop to a level where you say,
00:06:31.540 you know what,
00:06:32.180 I just have my body to offer.
00:06:33.820 And that's really sad.
00:06:35.100 And I want you sisters to know,
00:06:36.140 like I said before,
00:06:37.080 don't drop yourself to this level.
00:06:38.960 Wallahi,
00:06:39.300 you guys are worth more than that.
00:06:40.280 Be you Muslim or non-Muslim. 1.00
00:06:43.440 Do not shape your life around men. 0.86
00:06:46.600 Believe me,
00:06:47.460 you can look like,
00:06:48.860 I don't know who's,
00:06:50.200 I don't know who they,
00:06:50.880 Kim Kardashian,
00:06:51.520 whatever you guys have in your head,
00:06:52.960 yeah?
00:06:53.640 I swear by Allah,
00:06:55.340 your husband,
00:06:56.420 if you think,
00:06:56.980 okay, if I look like this
00:06:57.820 and behave like this,
00:06:58.800 my husband will not look at another man 1.00
00:07:00.340 or will not cheat on me.
00:07:01.240 I swear by Allah,
00:07:02.680 you can look however you like,
00:07:04.440 yeah?
00:07:04.900 Okay, put triangles on your forehead if you like.
00:07:06.340 I don't know,
00:07:06.760 whatever it is,
00:07:07.320 yeah?
00:07:07.640 Wherever the fashion takes you.
00:07:10.260 Please your Lord.
00:07:11.420 Because the moment you start to please another man,
00:07:14.900 it's like you're worshipping him.
00:07:16.040 It's because you've become a slave to him now.
00:07:17.620 Now you're thinking,
00:07:18.480 I'm going to do everything I can,
00:07:20.160 yeah?
00:07:20.360 And now you're thinking,
00:07:21.320 matters are in your hands.
00:07:22.120 The matters are in the hands of Allah.
00:07:24.100 Please Allah.
00:07:25.560 Make Allah first in your life. 0.98
00:07:27.440 Then you will not care about
00:07:29.360 how a man thinks of you,
00:07:31.220 how you look.
00:07:31.900 Now nobody's saying,
00:07:33.000 don't take care of yourself.
00:07:34.080 You can take care of yourself.
00:07:35.000 We all should take care of ourselves.
00:07:36.680 But it's just like a simple message from me
00:07:38.240 to you guys
00:07:39.000 with the sisters.
00:07:40.260 I don't know if you guys want to add on anything as well.
00:07:42.320 Is there anything you want to add on?
00:07:44.640 I do.
00:07:45.640 Yeah.
00:07:45.920 Do you want to say something?
00:07:47.460 I just want to say,
00:07:48.680 sometimes I feel like
00:07:50.000 why women do this. 1.00
00:07:51.900 And I'm not saying sisters,
00:07:53.040 just women in general. 1.00
00:07:54.420 It's hard work
00:07:55.340 to strengthen your intellect
00:07:57.420 and to work on your mind
00:08:00.380 and to challenge yourself mentally.
00:08:03.620 So because there's so much media influence
00:08:06.020 with people like,
00:08:07.120 you know,
00:08:07.860 the Kardashians,
00:08:08.480 et cetera,
00:08:08.840 they find it easier
00:08:10.960 and thrilling
00:08:11.920 to try and attract people
00:08:13.680 with their sexuality.
00:08:16.840 Yeah.
00:08:17.340 I just think it's laziness.
00:08:18.640 No, it is.
00:08:19.120 It is.
00:08:19.380 And it's sad.
00:08:19.880 Like I said before,
00:08:20.640 like sisters,
00:08:21.120 know your worth,
00:08:21.760 know your value
00:08:22.340 and, you know,
00:08:23.680 worship and be a slave 0.96
00:08:24.880 to the one
00:08:25.420 who has created you
00:08:26.560 because that's true freedom.
00:08:28.240 Once you become a slave
00:08:30.260 to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
00:08:32.180 all you're doing
00:08:32.760 is you're breaking
00:08:33.280 all these shackles,
00:08:34.760 be it men,
00:08:35.580 be it fashion,
00:08:36.480 be it society,
00:08:37.180 you're breaking them
00:08:38.060 and saying,
00:08:38.380 you know what,
00:08:38.560 I'm here to please my Lord.
00:08:40.080 I'm not here to please you,
00:08:41.540 you know,
00:08:42.060 and that's where you will get
00:08:43.320 true freedom
00:08:44.040 because now you don't care about no one.
00:08:46.060 All you care about is my Lord.
00:08:47.380 How does,
00:08:47.880 am I,
00:08:48.660 you know,
00:08:49.200 with my characterism
00:08:50.040 and behavior beautiful to my Lord?
00:08:51.660 And then when you do that,
00:08:52.980 Wallahi,
00:08:53.480 you will taste the beauty
00:08:54.720 of true freedom
00:08:55.800 and you will not feel like,
00:08:57.180 okay,
00:08:57.840 oh my gosh,
00:08:58.360 do I look like this
00:08:59.180 or can I go out like this?
00:09:00.460 All that you'll be free from.
00:09:02.260 And I hope,
00:09:02.960 inshallah,
00:09:03.240 this video has benefited you guys
00:09:04.380 and I thank you sisters
00:09:05.180 for taking part in it,
00:09:06.220 inshallah.
00:09:06.920 May Allah bless you guys.
00:09:07.880 If there's any other topics
00:09:08.560 that you would like me to discuss
00:09:09.560 with the sister or the sisters,
00:09:12.020 do let me know,
00:09:12.900 inshallah,
00:09:13.540 on the comment section below
00:09:14.680 and we can have a perspective
00:09:16.060 of sisters.
00:09:17.260 That's the main reason
00:09:18.000 I'm doing this
00:09:18.420 because a lot of time,
00:09:19.940 I don't want to be like we men
00:09:20.960 talk about female issues, 1.00
00:09:22.300 yeah?
00:09:22.720 And sadly,
00:09:23.280 we don't really have
00:09:23.980 a good role model
00:09:24.920 in the YouTube scene
00:09:26.640 where we can refer
00:09:27.360 sisters to.
00:09:28.840 So therefore,
00:09:29.500 we've put this platform,
00:09:30.360 even though there is,
00:09:31.580 yeah,
00:09:31.800 mashaAllah,
00:09:32.100 there is some sisters
00:09:33.120 out there,
00:09:33.580 alhamdulillah,
00:09:33.720 coming.
00:09:34.920 So yeah,
00:09:35.440 I would say,
00:09:36.320 comment in the section below,
00:09:37.940 inshallah,
00:09:38.560 and we will bring you
00:09:39.340 more videos.
00:09:40.160 As-salamu alaykum
00:09:40.680 wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
00:09:45.200 Hey,
00:09:45.780 give me one.
00:09:49.100 Thanks, Ali.
00:09:50.580 Subscribe.
00:09:51.940 Woohoo.