Ali Dawah - INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE DIALOGUE - TALK TO ME SHOW

00:00:00.000 assalamualaikum warahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends welcome to this

00:00:14.560 brand new show on iman channel talk to me i'm your host ali dawa this show is going to be a

00:00:19.760 bit different we're going to have some controversial topics that we're going to discuss

00:00:22.240 and the audience are going to have their say and we've got a panel of guests i'm going to start

00:00:25.640 on my left brother uh what's your name my name's hamza hamza and why are you sitting like that

00:00:31.880 what's your job here today okay so i'm going to be playing um devil's advocate i'm going to have

00:00:36.620 controversial opinions yes they're not my own opinions but i'm just supposed to address

00:00:40.360 um all of the sort of standard orthodox opinions for example if there's um if we're talking about

00:00:46.640 certain topic he's going to come from another aspect so it's fair and more exciting inshallah

00:00:51.040 and also on his left we've got brother yusuf brother yusuf i was going to say yunus

00:00:55.240 brother yusuf may allah bless him inshallah and on my right we have brother muhammad hijab

00:00:59.480 how are you doing aki not bad you seem a bit tired today no i'm all right

00:01:02.880 and we've got brother musa on his right musa how are you alhamdulillah all good all good

00:01:08.800 so what's today's topic do you know musa yeah i do actually you don't actually it's interracial

00:01:14.980 marriages i did know that yeah we have this little banter with the brothers so today's topic is

00:01:18.600 interracial marriages yeah a lot of us are maybe in a interracial marriage ourselves a lot of us

00:01:25.600 maybe during the marriage process got denied you know like for example because you know you're from

00:01:30.760 this caste you're not from my tribe you're this color you're green blue yellow whatever it may be

00:01:35.840 and you have been rejected yeah so today is your time and maybe there's a lot of brothers here or

00:01:41.180 sisters have gone through that their self the first question that needs to be asked i think the

00:01:44.920 first question that needs to be asked is where does this mentality come from like because we are

00:01:49.000 muslims yeah in islam we don't have race the prophet didn't tell us when you're going to get married

00:01:53.700 look at what color the individual is or what tribe they're from so where do you think this problem

00:01:57.740 stems from what we've done is basically essentially we've come from back home our parents have come

00:02:03.800 from back home our parents all came here and they lived here so back home you don't see people getting

00:02:09.440 married to different people from different races back home obviously everyone's going to marry 0.99

00:02:13.140 someone from their country yeah so when the parents come here and their children when we go to school

00:02:17.360 we have people in our class that are from all different countries you know from all walks of

00:02:22.140 life all faiths and we choose someone that we want to marry from a different country even if that

00:02:29.160 person be a muslim yeah of course um what ends up happening is it's something that strains to our 1.00

00:02:34.340 parents a lot of the time they're like okay you're marrying someone outside so culturally yeah i feel

00:02:40.440 like it's not accepted in a lot of um countries because the question that needs to be asked here is

00:02:44.840 where where is this coming from you know is there anyone in the audience who knows somebody or have

00:02:48.840 personally gone through this issue of you know wanting to marry somebody from a different cast

00:02:53.600 uh or race but has been rejected does anybody know anyone specifically we'll just go for this

00:03:00.440 brother inshallah yes saki um this is a friend of mine who actually went through this um he did go

00:03:08.960 for a lot of trouble um basically because of different cultures and exactly i do agree with the

00:03:14.380 brother said that it's the culture of the parents where they come from a cultural background but also at

00:03:19.400 the same time i don't blame them but for youngsters i think the main problem is i think the root problem

00:03:25.960 is is a lack of of education about islam and what islam says so um our parents mashallah bless them

00:03:34.840 they're very grounded in their cultures because this is how they grew up you said they have a right

00:03:39.820 are you talking about the parents here yeah okay so i i would i would like to ask a question because

00:03:44.760 when you mean they have a right is that based on islam or culture because like you said you know

00:03:49.160 this is what they took from their culture but allah says tell us in the quran are you going to 0.74

00:03:53.160 follow your forefathers even though you you know that they were in the wrong so somebody might

00:03:56.760 come and ask a question and say yes actually you're saying they have a right but based on what

00:04:01.560 is this islam or what are we talking about here when i do say parents have a right um

00:04:07.400 it's not right based on on islam but from where they are coming from so i think in the society

00:04:14.040 nowadays the main problem comes where you know we're talking about the issue but if we can be

00:04:22.680 balanced in both see where they're coming from yeah and where we're coming from that's where the

00:04:28.760 clear line shows that we're coming from what islam says while they're coming from from they're coming 1.00

00:04:35.000 from a culture uh background what's required from us is that we need to show some form of steady

00:04:42.440 education towards our parents because eventually we have to break down these false ideas so this

00:04:49.160 requires you know soft dowel with the parents because they are parents they are above our heads

00:04:54.040 islamically they are above our heads and they want what's best for us okay you you mentioned actually

00:04:58.920 obviously our parents are above our heads yeah but what about allah's laws because this is something

00:05:02.760 really important because this is this is where we have to choose here okay this doesn't mean we

00:05:07.320 just obey our parents but there's a fine line yeah yes our parents we obey them but if they tell

00:05:12.760 us to do something which is against um allah's commandments and laws which i i personally from

00:05:18.360 my perspective i could come and say that's outright racism you know is there any sisters in the audience

00:05:22.760 like where do you think parents are coming from like if we can go to this um sister um i don't think

00:05:28.440 it's the fact that we're in britain because as a somali this existed even when my parents were in somalia so

00:05:33.800 even between somalis they don't want someone who's a different yeah i think tribe yeah so it's much

00:05:39.160 deeper than being a london it's it's something that has existed for a long time so i think yeah

00:05:44.040 that's just my point okay we just want to go to this sister sometimes it doesn't have to do with

00:05:48.360 culture it's about the parents they're quite afraid that the children are here in this country and

00:05:53.880 that they when they're in this interracial marriage that they will disappear that they will 0.99

00:06:00.040 not go back to their roots okay when you mean disappear sister in what way like what are they

00:06:04.280 what are they what are they going to lose uh they lose their culture their language their heritage

00:06:09.960 their origin where they're coming from they won't know about their far about you know their uh

00:06:17.320 grandparents and the the and many many many parents are afraid that this interracial marriage

00:06:22.760 won't last okay and that could be a problem for the parents i agree with certain points is that um

00:06:28.600 you said they will lose their culture but i understand where you're coming from but the

00:06:33.000 sister the question that really needs to be asked here is is your culture and i don't mean you i'm

00:06:37.400 just saying like a general in person is our culture going to save us on the day of judgment

00:06:41.480 if not if not now for example as a parent as a parent who's worried who might think you know what

00:06:46.760 well i would want somebody to speak the same language as uh my child etc you know i understand that

00:06:52.440 you know but when when it comes to the point of where they are coming and saying you know what no

00:06:57.080 like it's you can't it's they make it haram something that's halal that's haram so what would

00:07:02.840 you say to that because i understand the culture aspect of it sister yeah i'm gonna go to brother

00:07:05.880 for but before i go to him from from your point of view are you are you trying to say that look they

00:07:11.160 have a right to like for example they have a right to say you know what daughter son i prefer you to

00:07:16.600 marry somebody that's pakistani or are you saying no like that's it like is it a matter of right 0.82

00:07:23.480 like it's a choice or they should like that person let me ask you a question would you allow your

00:07:28.760 child if they wanted to marry somebody from outside your cast would you allow that no okay

00:07:34.760 just so the people understand what what is the main fundamental reason why wouldn't you allow that

00:07:38.520 um i think it's the um the upbringing of of mine when i was younger that um i need stability in my life

00:07:47.560 and i think that uh being in integration marriage sometimes makes people don't have any kind of

00:07:56.120 origin not nothing to go in common they don't have like no yeah i mean like the children when when they're

00:08:03.640 older they don't know which country they're really from and they're just i mean islam is it is a good

00:08:09.080 thing it's a religion and go back to that but you have to also have some kind of thing some kind of

00:08:15.320 fruits some kind of stability so that you know you know okay i understand let me ask you a question

00:08:22.360 does interracial marriages cause unstable ability because this this is where this maybe the sister's 1.00

00:08:27.320 coming from what what's your take on this i'm in a uh interracial marriage you want to call it yeah

00:08:32.360 my wife she's from kashmir hamdulillah and uh i'm a white british man now i forsook my culture for

00:08:40.280 the sake of islam my culture is a culture of drinking my culture is a culture of going out 1.00

00:08:45.240 and partying my culture is a culture of not being married this is what it's become okay yeah in my

00:08:49.960 culture i'm from scotland originally it's very heavy drinking and and very heavy partying that's

00:08:54.680 that's the culture i'm from i gave up my culture yeah now if we take what the sister said and make it

00:09:00.600 a a a staple in what we decide in our lives that culture is very important that my children understand

00:09:06.200 my culture and where i come from then this would have a negative impact on the family for sure

00:09:11.160 without a doubt yeah culture was destroyed 1400 years ago in mecca what did they say when the

00:09:18.920 prophet started to preach they said he's come to change what our forefathers brought

00:09:23.960 he's destroying our society what he's preaching is splitting father from sons daughter from from

00:09:30.280 father destroying family lives this is what they said subhanallah and i say alhamdulillah that it did

00:09:37.560 because if we limit what we uh uh have in our family to what our culture brings then we're not

00:09:45.160 going to be able to taste the beauty of different other ways of living as a muslim now i'm not saying

00:09:50.680 that you can't be british and muslim you can yeah but it's muslim who is british you're muslim first 0.73

00:09:56.440 before you're british you're a muslim before you are somali you are muslim before you are pakistani 0.67

00:10:00.760 et cetera et cetera et cetera i'm not going to come to the hamza um i i disagree with um brother

00:10:06.680 faruk's point i don't think islam came to sort of completely smash culture culture isn't a bad thing 0.99

00:10:13.240 what the prophet came to smash was idolatry but i think sometimes our parents know best they know us

00:10:19.560 better than everyone anyone else and so if they know that we're so used to sort of being raised up in a

00:10:24.840 particular way you know we're used to having our roti and our curry and they know that if we were to

00:10:30.440 marry someone from another culture you know that woman from another culture wouldn't be able to 1.00

00:10:35.720 provide for you in the same way as your mother would who's from the same culture as you especially

00:10:40.760 you know where i'm from um the divorce rates are really high where for example bengali sisters 1.00

00:10:46.040 uh or some um african brothers are marrying into marrying bengali sisters yeah and there's a mismatch

00:10:53.880 there you know the the african brother goes to the um to his wife's house and again it's such a 0.92

00:11:02.280 culture clash there it's impossible to sort of integrate okay as a devil's advocate this is where

00:11:06.440 you're coming from but the question i would ask is a curry is not going to save me in the hereafter 0.98

00:11:10.600 for example you know like few differences yeah let's just go to this sister inshallah their sister

00:11:14.760 what's what's your take on the matter as what you've heard i can understand the concerns of other

00:11:18.680 parents that um the the children may not be able to adapt to the culture but the issue is it is a

00:11:25.080 bit hypocritical because oftentimes parents want to make sure that everything is good on paper they

00:11:30.520 have a good degree they're from our tribe but then they don't look at things like spirituality the

00:11:35.320 character are our children compatible and then this thing could lead to a bad marriage as much as 1.00

00:11:41.160 if not more than people from different races so i don't really agree with that point very valid 0.98

00:11:45.800 points like when looking for a partner why do we always concentrate about the degree the work

00:11:49.160 this color this race why don't we talk about his taqwa his salah his zakah let's go to the sister

00:11:54.120 inshallah yes sister i think it's not necessarily bad to have reservations as opposed to being outright

00:11:59.720 against it but different cultures do practice islam in different ways so what we have is some families

00:12:05.320 and some different cultures will not approve of hijab will not approve of the sun growing the beard

00:12:10.440 and you know marrying into a family where you're going to be sort of scrutinized for practicing

00:12:15.080 islam in a certain way could be an issue

Ali Dawah - January 12, 2018

INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE DIALOGUE - TALK TO ME SHOW

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