IRRESPONSIBLE INSTAGRAM COUPLES RUINING MARRIAGES? - EP 13 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
210.22975
Summary
In this episode, we talk about irresponsible social media couples and their impact on our perception of the halal halal marriage. We also talk about the role of social media in shaping the perception of a halal Muslim family.
Transcript
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social media is like a fake reality that's the way to look at it see a picture of someone looking
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so happy but what you don't know it's what's behind that picture i always remind to my children
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or to my friends is that no one's showing the argument the bad the background you know the
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reality of life and you know and it makes you feel like my life is purposeless i used to post
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food during ramadan and i completely stopped doing that because there are people out there who do not
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have food who cannot get married who cannot have children we never get to see the negative aspects
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so we think it's all rosy and cozy and the first day you see her without makeup you're saying
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however there's a lot of teenagers out there and from what they have seen when it comes to
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being a muslim couple it's very boring it's very blank they have that stereotype like you know the
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woman just stays at home all day and just cooks and the man just comes and works and he just comes home
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and he's a grumpy old man what is your motive what is your intention why are you even putting it out
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that if you're really that truly grateful for what you have go and thank allah why are you telling me
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i don't i don't need to see it she will be unhappy with you as a husband exactly because you are not
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doing the same thing that that husband's doing on the social media i feel like you're on social media
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and you've opened yourself up you could open yourself up to much worse on social media than
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seeing a happy halal marriage i want to see both sides if you're going to be honest if you're going to
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be just i want to see the dark the ugly and i want to see the good show me that oh you just want to
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show me the good side why just the good side people are looking at social media couples because
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they're unhappy with their own relationship they're looking at idealistic women because
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islamnet is raising funds to establish a masjid and community center in norway and they urgently
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need your support this donation will be a sadaqa jari for you because every person that comes a step
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closer to allah for your donation you will inshallah be able to reward click the link and donate what you
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can assalamualaikum warahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends hope you guys are
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well inshallah welcome to another episode of the bitter truth show um before i start i want to praise
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allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the most merciful the most trust or praises glory and gratitude belong to him
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i want to thank um my blood brother who's here uh my uh cameraman abdukarim muhammad jabi um anas
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for making all of this happen may allah bless them without them i can't do it and i want to thank
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the co-producer which is my wife who helps me decide these topics and bring them together and
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kind of manages their sister's side while eating pizza um yes may allah bless her okay so basically
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today's topic is very interesting and i've been meaning to talk about this topic for a very long
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time uh because it's pertaining and i believe it's one of the reasons why there's a false expectation in
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marriage marriage is breaking down and most of the times when we think about allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
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says in the quran that tell the believing men to lower your gaze good but what happens is that
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also it tells the woman to lower their gaze as well but i feel as if the sisters don't lower their gaze
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when it comes to other people's marriages so i believe men don't lower their gaze when it comes
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to the opposite gender you know we are visual creatures and that's our weakness so we don't
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lower our gaze and we should it's a sin but i feel as if sisters don't lower their gaze when it comes
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to other people's lives her husband is doing this and they are here so these social media couples that
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we are talking about here we're going to react to some of them i'm trying to get the videos
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just a quick disclaimer we don't want to backbite we don't want to slander we don't want to talk
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ill of them we just want to talk about this phenomena yeah in a nutshell i will get the videos i'll try to
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find some we can watch them but let's get into the topic so irresponsible social media couples
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let's start with the sisters do you guys believe you guys are females you guys know yourself best
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do you not believe that when you see videos as a young sister some of you guys are married some
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of you guys are divorced so as a young sister when you was young when you see these social media
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couples who are portraying their lifestyle and it's glamorous and sometimes you wonder did they take
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these videos in gender because everything looks so damn perfect i do well like you look and you know
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there's any fault in this video like and the thing is everything from the bed sheet to that flower in the
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background to the baby what they're wearing to whatever they're driving and the holidays they're
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going to does it not give a false perception of what marriage is because i don't know brother or
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sister if you punched her face before you made that video and made it look like you know what this is
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amazing and then i don't know sister if you try to uppercut him and then after that you said oh let's
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put a picture up yeah because i believe it's impossible for you to have such an amazing life now may
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bless you guys preserve you guys protect you from envy and which is very interesting yusuf
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his father said to him do not mention your dream to your blood brothers and we've got social media
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couples like everything in their life now of course there's a balance there are those subhanallah
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sometimes they give little reminders yeah that's fine i'm talking about those who are showing extravagance
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yeah we're traveling here and there do you guys not believe that is irresponsible behavior and in a
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nutshell i want to say showing off maybe it can be showing off but you're given a false perception
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of marriage i think i think it does um one of the massive issue i have and you have limited it to
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couples but i think many muslims are i mean or human beings are concerned by wife of a woman
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overexposing men overexposing but you want to maybe target the topic to the couples and it is true
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and it has even though we we like to say no i'm not influenced i'm very independent i have my own
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perception that's not true because when all day long you keep swiping and seeing those things
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you you you are affected even consciously you you are affected and one of the things i always remind
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to my children or to my friends is that no one's showing the argument the bad the background you know
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the reality of life and you know and it makes you feel like my life is purposeless those people
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have a better life those people are exposing their blessings but they're not exposing the test that
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comes with those blessings and people need to understand that that all the blessing that you
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have you you you do not know about that test and sometimes it makes us ungrateful of all the amazing
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blessing that allah has best born upon us we do not know what happens behind the scenes and the
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reality of the love of the couple and it's really like you said a deformed reality and i definitely think
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it has a negative impact on the marriages today that's for me or the perception of the marriage
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um personally uh i believe in the intention of those who may be posting these things
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so as somebody who does post content i cannot be a hypocrite and say that i do not post content i do post
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content not of me and my husband not of my children but i do post content of cooking but my intention
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my intention is to teach those women out there who may not know how to cook teach recipes you know show
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you know anything to do with femininity but i wouldn't want to be judged based upon my content
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however yes so the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said when you have something good
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you should cover it or you should hide it do not tell people what you may have or what you
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you know what goodness you have um i i remember before i used to post i i know i keep bringing it back to
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this but i used to post food during ramadan and i completely stopped doing that because there are
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people out there who do not have food who cannot get married who cannot have children and they may
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envy you and they may have this hurt and sadness and as muslims we are not supposed to afflict pain
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onto others so i can agree with that point of view where if that may cause another person pain
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or a hungry person to feel more hunger then it's best to refrain from it i also feel like it's
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definitely down to your intentions like for example like you say like you didn't realize what you were
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doing like when you were posting those things like uh sir taj and i we post things on social media
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of our family lives of like you know just just daily lives of us and things like that and no we don't
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post things about um if he's got on my nerves or whatever you know we won't post that but i also
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feel like you've got to understand the intention behind people who don't post things for example
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i won't go on there and post that we've had an argument or something but we will post to make
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awareness that like you know there's lots of reasons why we do videos together and which some
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people won't understand but at the same time i feel like everyone has to take social media with
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a pinch of salt like you either everyone has a different take on things so if you are that person
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who is easily easily influenced by social media and or if you are quite an envious person some people
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are more so of some things than others like materialistic things and things like that or marriages
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and relationships i feel like you need to know what your limits are and how much exposure you're
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giving yourself to those things online on social media that's kind of my well what i want to say
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social media is like a fake reality that's the way to look at it see a picture of someone looking so
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happy but we don't know it's what's behind that picture you know i mean people take photos of
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themselves looking happy because they're unhappy you know so the thing is that's the way to look at it
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i mean yeah me and my wife do videos but we're trying to motivate the youngsters to happy have
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a halal marriage have kids because nowadays people don't want that you know and alhamdulillah get
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loads of people i looked at your video i want to have a good marriage i want to find a good wife i
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want to have kids so that's the way we should use social media for a positive thing if you start
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showing your life your cars they'll see these brothers get cars showing the cars off and all that
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stuff and that's like it's just the wrong thing to do especially like showing this the couple like you
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know a magic magic life and that is not true everyone knows that who's married that you have
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good days and bad days and if you don't have good days and bad days you know you're not you don't
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know you're married and that because you know every we all have up and downs and that but i say social
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media is a fake reality that people we show that oh this is our life trying to um what you call it
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promote this good life and in a happy life but it's not everyone i know on social media when you meet
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in the real life they're depressing like they're depressed you know i mean they're thinking oh
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you know this stuff but when you see them on social media with their new bag or the new car and stuff
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and i'm thinking what are you doing bro you know it's true and by the way i've seen your guys content
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by the way like i've seen etc there's some funny ones by the way yeah may allah bless you guys and
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preserve your marriage yeah um and i'll be honest with you i don't see you guys in that category and i'm
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not saying that because you guys are here i'll be very honest because if i did feel like i would not put
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you on this specific episode um you guys are not there like showing like showing off like hey look
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what i'm driving this that you guys are talking about family unit there is nothing wrong with
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someone saying you know what for example this is how i discipline my kids for example if my me and
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my wife have an argument that's educational i'm talking about these individuals who are totally
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irresponsible in the sense of like you said maybe there are people who are not married yeah now this
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doesn't mean you can't put i understand i understand do you know what i'm trying to say but the point
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is this though you're putting a lifestyle and a facade this false reality yeah and you're making
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it seem as if that is what marriage is and you have millions of youngsters single muslims who are
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looking at this who are sisters who are married yeah sisters can be very delicate okay very delicate
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they can be yes and they're coming into this marriage and then there's an argument that happens
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and let's see the the husband raises his voice a bit and she's thinking rah bruv i was watching all
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these videos it's not supposed to be like this i'm in an abusive marriage i'm like yo sister relax
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yourself yeah like it's it's arguments happen you're going to raise your voice at him yeah there's
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going to be things that's going to happen these are like my mom says the salt and pepper of
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relationships of marriage so going to zishan and then brother shakir inshallah do you not believe
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this is irresponsible to portray a certain lifestyle even if it means at the cost that millions of young
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single muslims are going to watch this and bear in mind what we consume look if i have something bad
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i'm going to vomit it out i'm have to go hospital we consume with our eyes and our thoughts yeah so
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when it comes to movies because we were talking about the media when it comes to movies
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um in movies the characters are always doing something there's always an activity there's always
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a cataclysm there's always like a world event in which they need to work together or there's something
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that will inspire that spark but unfortunately when you get married there there's there's no
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cataclysm it's pretty mundane it's pretty boring and you have to create your own interest when you
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look at social media again everyone's smiling everyone's happy but when you get married and one
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person's coming home from work and you know the house is not clean or you have to you know make some
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food and that food is not tasty like you start thinking like what what the hell is this yeah and
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then even when you go outside you go outside you see everybody at restaurants they're sitting
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together having a nice time the thing is we never get to see the negative aspects exactly we never get
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to see the negative aspects so we think it's all rosy and cozy and the first day you see her without
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makeup you're saying yeah because we hardly ever i see my teacher i see i see i see my teacher with
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makeup i see you know every woman that i see on tv with a makeup in the magazines i see people with
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makeup my neighbors wearing a makeup the dog's wearing a makeup i mean everyone's wearing the
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makeup and then when i see my wife you know or you know whatever
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no no my wife is not a level she's very careful don't come to me bro cut that because i will not
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cut it bro no no no my wife knows you know but but the thing is that look when it comes to these
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things we we have a very unrealistic expectation and the thing is i've heard of people as well that
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when they get married they're like oh i hope we never get arguments i hope you don't get angry
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anger is a part and parcel of life allah gets angry the prophet got angry sahaba got angry but
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it's the way you express the anger and it's the way you recover and you deal with that anger that's
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where the issues are are you going to get angry and say talaq talaq talaq or are you going to get
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angry and say you know what i'm going to go take a half an hour break and then we resume after half
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an hour yeah anger is normal and the thing is that look people that say oh no arguments look and
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i would say to the social media guys as well we want to see more conflict resolution because that
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is the biggest problem when conflict happens people just want to cut and go when you look at old
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couples and they sit down and they ask for advice oh you know you're 99 years old how are you surviving
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they say nowadays people just want to cut and run we when there were arguments we didn't want to cut
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and run we wanted to resolve and join things so conflict resolution is so so important and if
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that's more kind of normalized that look arguments happen and i give this analogy when an argument
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happens yeah or it doesn't have to be an argument it could just be a discussion or debate why is it
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seen as a bad thing or a negative thing if somebody is staying in a property for one day that person is
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not going to whip out the paint the wallpaper they're not going to start fixing the floorboards that
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person's only there for 24 hours they're just going to survive put the blanket down in the morning
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they're gone if somebody plans to stay there they're going to tell you look babes you're putting
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on a few pounds you know not say it like that but there's ways that you do it that like some
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some partners they say look if you see or you want me to do something different please let me know
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i don't want to find out in a different way i don't want it to come out in a in an argument or
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something like that and there's ways that you do it you could say look uh should we you know watch
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what we eat should we go jogging together should we you know get a subscription to the gym and the
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other person they say you know sometimes even a sign is enough for the other person to kind of know
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so these sorts of things are incredibly important and if a person is telling you and talking to you
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and sometimes there are clashes that's a good sign it means they want to stay with you
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somebody that's just letting you do whatever that person doing some madness behind
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or somewhere else they're just trying to keep you sweet and trying to keep you happy
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so look this this is this is this is real this is reality yeah when stuff goes wrong
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that's good you're getting to know your partner and the thing is unfortunately and sadly because we are
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not used to this and with the whole snowflake generation the whole i want to identify as a pogo
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stick therefore i'm a pogo stick so it's like oh i'm sorry you didn't what's a pogo stick it's you
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so so when when when someone you walked into that one ali sorry so so so the thing is when
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i'm seeing there's so many clips like how dare you not say my pronoun oh my god i'm this i'm that
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i'm feeling like this and i'm feeling like that this gender it's ridiculous you know this look
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we're supposed to be people that should be able to handle pain handle hardship this is something
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that builds character a marriage in which yeah i was gonna say a marriage sorry just one more
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thing a marriage that is unrealistically unrealistically first unrealistically rosy and cozy
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shut your mouth that's just that's just weird like that's that's not a relationship like you
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like that person is not being honest and if they are not saying you're not progressing with each
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other yeah like exchanging i was gonna say um i think as a umma we need to take accountability
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for what we consume and what we watch yeah your favorite word so in terms of i think a lot of us
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need to build mental toughness imagine we cannot even handle social media just imagine when the
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the gel comes just imagine so if you cannot even handle social media influences and how it impacts
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your life please you are not ready for the battle of this this actual life and umma and the day on the
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air when we have to stand for 50 000 years come on we need to build mental toughness now for me
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personally read books okay yeah even if even if look we're in a we're in a social media era yeah
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everyone what we're watching i agree exactly that's what i'm saying so so nobody both to blame so is
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okay who's to blame okay who's to blame the one that's consuming it the viewer as well
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there's one thing there's one thing that's your mic yeah i was i was gonna say the the responsibility
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the person inflicted the people creating the content are just as much victims of social media
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as the ones who are consuming it so if if i know as a person look social media affects me i get jealous
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i want this i am this i need this i want this i'm red eye every minute i want something somebody else
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has get off social media go and read a book take accountability we cannot always blame the people
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who are creating the content because again we are living in a social media era no people make money
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from it but as okay so that means at the cost okay one second at the cost of look look look let me tell
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you something yeah mike let me see i'll give it myself as an example yeah there's a lot of things that i
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can do that i can include my wife in so much stuff well let me tell you something my channel will pop
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off different level i don't and let me tell you something i have to beg my wife on certain videos
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because she hates it i'll be honest with you and i hate it you know why because when she's in it and
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then she's like can you blur here i'm like brother blurred everything out you're fully out she's like
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no but my things i'm like allow me it's taken she's like and then we have that little arguments here
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i'm like look you agree to her she's like yeah but i told you and i was like brother i'm doing a video
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about her own relationship i need a woman that you're my wife i have to touch yeah so the thing is
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of course i need you so we did one about um um i buy a new house or something like our house or
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something like that yeah so i know people are gonna be nosy yeah like oh my gosh and that was
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house so they didn't know that i was in i was in i was in a graveyard yeah okay so i was doing a video
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in a graveyard and i saw like a bungalow looking house and this is a video i told my wife before
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because i tell her my ideas yeah so she can help me uh develop them so i saw it and i called i said
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listen get into the car i think she had the car i said get into the car and come here and she's like
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why i said that video she said no no no i was like please you don't understand it's going to power video
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yeah i had to beg her bro she came it was like a bungalow and i was like yeah this is my wife's
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house and i said to her just say wow ali that's very nice yeah and she was like yeah she said
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exactly i was like no it was so uh a little bit fake so then anyway so i opened the door and the
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next clip is graveyard so i got this is our house that was the point of the video yeah there's a lot
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of people nosy like oh my gosh where did they live i live in a one-bedroom house with um two three
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kids uh two kids okay so it's that's the reality which you guys don't think you think i'm rich
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millionaire i don't know what you think of me yeah okay that's the reality so i was given an
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example but even in that instance i'm very very careful because i know it's a responsibility
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if i show a certain lifestyle of hey look at me and my wife etc i know at the end of that video i
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will never do that video if i know there is not a serious reminder that is the only conditions i use
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that i try my best if we happen to go to holiday once a year whatever it may be yeah i do not to tell
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people i don't want people people don't need to know do you know what i'm trying to say but i feel
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as if today people are too busy living for others i have to show that person look how i'm living it
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large be it my ex be it my friend be that person brother you're not even going holiday for yourself
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even worse my brother they go plan holidays for the sake of instagram and social media thank you
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they plan and go buy a gift exactly exactly only to show it exactly you're not even leaving the
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moment exactly exactly and that that is a responsibility because what you're doing is
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for the money the fame the view whatever it may be at the consequences of how many people you're going
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to corrupt intentionally unintentionally of course intentions are very important i think the sister
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said yeah very important the intentions are important and we're not saying what you're doing
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is haram the point we're trying to say is are you that selfish to that level that you will portray
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that i dare you i'm gonna we should start a movement yeah show us your argument put the camera
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there and let me let me see you guys argue let me see you guys fight let me see that makeup in
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the morning would be enough just exactly just that's what i'm trying to say so i don't i don't buy
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that i don't buy that they are no i'm so sorry yeah they play a massive massive role because there
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are social media influencers they have people that are going to follow them so they are responsible
00:23:14.180
i disagree with the thing but can i just say as muslims yeah like we have to think good of people
00:23:20.440
and i will say some of these social media influencers and muslim couples because we're
00:23:26.820
talking about muslim couples have actually in a way done a good thing because there is a benefit i see a
00:23:33.600
benefit in it because there there was a theme or a lot of people who didn't want to get married anymore
00:23:39.480
who don't think it's a good thing so they've kind of made it look cool again do you know what i mean so
00:23:44.600
actually there are the youth and the young people no even the non-muslim world but to see muslim
00:23:50.660
couples enjoying life and it's not this taboo boring relationship it is a good thing to see and
00:23:57.760
it's refreshing sometimes but then there's a line there's a line which people cross and i think
00:24:03.620
you know not just big influencers but just mediocre ones what they don't realize is with great power
00:24:09.840
comes great responsibility and i don't think they are equipped to handle that responsibility
00:24:13.740
and not just that i think it's like what is your motive what is your intention why are you even
00:24:17.900
putting it out there if you're really that truly grateful for what you have go thank allah why are
00:24:21.820
you telling me i don't i don't need to see it and the other thing is it's like for sisters and
00:24:26.020
brothers who are on social media first of all why are you even on there i personally don't think we
00:24:30.700
need social media yes it can be helpful but again if that's the case know your boundaries if you
00:24:36.680
can understand that this is affecting me get off it do a detox create those boundaries within
00:24:41.540
yourself because after all you're going to be responsible for your time that you've invested
00:24:44.600
in social media which is basically what you know benefit whereas if you had read the quran you would
00:24:48.320
have gotten something with allah and the complexity on the attention as well why are they doing it now
00:24:53.080
we i see this trend of videos the routine they're getting out doing their bed praying this a lot and
00:24:59.080
that's again why why are you doing it you're wrong no i'm not saying before you before i do
00:25:06.000
bro before you do before you speak can we just wow ali you see you see why i don't speak on their
00:25:11.740
podcast last time i didn't speak i got blamed for it this is why you know why he doesn't let you
00:25:15.580
speak on his podcast i'm not speaking no more you prepared you prepared he was in his floor bro
00:25:20.220
didn't didn't feed me nothing i'm sitting there wasting away finish your podcast now
00:25:28.740
i forgot what i said i'm just gonna say the honorable shikha's gonna speak now
00:25:34.800
no anyway i'm joking about everyone's wrong but i just have a slight disagreement and i agree on
00:25:39.560
some points yeah so first and foremost down to people's intentions we never know what people's
00:25:44.740
intentions are yeah there are some people and some muslims that might go and they just want to show
00:25:48.980
their lifestyle off and they they might have like you know uh they're just they're just not sincere
00:25:53.760
with their intentions however like sister mirror said uh there are couples out there that might just
00:25:58.560
want to show hey do you know what you can be married and still be lit you can be married and still have
00:26:03.960
fun you can you can still be married as a couple um and go and travel the world and have like a really
00:26:09.720
um kind of luxurious lifestyle and i think everyone in this room is probably at a certain age where
00:26:17.080
we're coming into like our mature years now so we're speaking from our point of view of being
00:26:21.780
now adults however there's a lot of teenagers out there and from what they have seen when it comes to
00:26:27.040
being a muslim couple it's very boring it's very blank it's they have that stereotype like you know
00:26:33.280
the woman just stays at home all day and just cooks and the man just comes and works and he just
00:26:37.960
comes home and he's a grumpy old man so i feel like when you are seeing these things uh even even me
00:26:44.760
i go on social media and i see some muslim couples i'm like do you know what it looks really cool i
00:26:50.180
can't wait to get married beforehand i'm not gonna lie that maybe that same stereotype entered my mind
00:26:55.060
where i'm like oh i feel like it's just a burden i'm gonna get burdened all the time not saying that
00:27:00.220
is by the way but do you not have a certain expectation when you watch that do you not say
00:27:03.460
like okay because when you watch it i think the words we're using is the wrong words it doesn't turn
00:27:09.240
as i let's turn let's change the word from expectation to aspiration uh bro it just depends
00:27:16.740
bro like it depends what you want transforming to bro expectation we can we can tomato tomato we
00:27:22.220
can do this all day long but what i'm trying to say here is it depends how we uh discipline
00:27:27.140
ourselves now i won't sit sit down all day long and watch a social media couple and lust over their
00:27:32.240
lifestyle because i'm gonna know it's not a reality maybe however but the woman the woman the females do
00:27:37.520
no i i do understand yeah but at the same time me i wouldn't i wouldn't look and be like yeah
00:27:41.660
no i'm saying me as a grown man bro as a grown man yeah that's what i'm saying i've got no pride
00:27:47.940
when i come in these podcasts as a grown man i'm saying i look at couple muslim couples and i'm like
00:27:52.860
mashallah that is so cool like that's so lit like i can't wait to do that but i've even been i've even
00:27:58.560
considered oh would i even be one of them couples that is all cute and does them little cute videos
00:28:03.320
yes i probably got too much jealousy i don't know to see my wife but i it's i i do find it quite
00:28:08.380
nice that i but okay when it comes to a whip to women it's just like i don't know man i just feel
00:28:13.100
like i just feel like we're nitpicking a little bit yeah because there's so many other worse things
00:28:17.100
we could look on our screens no you know why you're saying that that's not a do you know do you know
00:28:20.380
why you're saying that shakir because why do you keep saying it's not the topic no no one second
00:28:23.180
it's about 12 times shakir you know why you're saying that because you're a man all of us when we're
00:28:27.740
talking about we would never be like oh time for that yeah it's nice i'll do that with my wife
00:28:32.620
yeah go jet ski okay what is the problem though because i don't even hear the problem what is
00:28:35.980
the problem as men it doesn't have an impact as much as dusty sisters yeah the misconception
00:28:40.840
let me tell you something for us as men is aspiration for women is expectation she will
00:28:48.500
be unhappy with you as a husband exactly because you are not doing the same thing that that husband's
00:28:52.900
doing on the social media that's what we're talking about we're aspiring we're expecting so
00:28:57.020
just gonna watch this video and by the way before i start um women need one second have some
00:29:02.140
discipline too no you can't just see something and then just lust for it i'm sorry that's in the
00:29:06.940
nature ain't that degrading you women guys guys one second i forgot to mention uh our sponsors
00:29:12.500
nature's blend may allah bless them because a lot of money effort goes into this hiring the team etc
00:29:16.720
um shilajit for the brothers strong come on big man thing a black seed oil capsules
00:29:21.600
honey you name it alhamdulillah they have it may allah bless you check inshallah especially for
00:29:25.460
ramadan brothers sisters they help this podcast happen may allah bless them inshallah get into the
00:29:29.680
topic i'm going to show you guys a video and once again um may allah protect this couple from envy
00:29:34.080
jealousy they're going to have a child may allah bless that child we're just watching it to
00:29:38.140
understand inshallah so here it is i don't know where i'm going to put it i'll let you guys see it
00:29:41.620
first can we see as well ali no you can definitely come to see
00:29:44.280
oh my god is that music yes ali yeah i would have been that okay sorry i didn't know
00:29:51.120
i actually really like them can we move on now yeah how do you know i like these
00:29:58.400
okay so so for the brothers for the brothers quickly for the brothers again there we go so
00:30:02.920
this is the this is the brother sister i don't see nothing wrong with that i've shown you i've
00:30:07.800
shown you them before haven't i yeah okay yeah i can see why though so okay look guys guys yeah
00:30:12.540
look look again yeah we asked allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to preserve their marriage protect them
00:30:16.220
from envy jealousy may allah may allah allow them to have more children the point is the following
00:30:21.560
when a young girl looks at that yeah as men we aspire they have expectations yeah no that's not
00:30:28.620
problem from us no no no ali wait wait wait so so there's two things here thank you
00:30:33.400
so the thing is there's there's two different perspectives and views here yeah
00:30:42.440
now i actually agree with shakil and the sister as well because she said for people that aren't that
00:30:49.860
aware of muslim marriages it does seem very plain very boring in fact we don't see it it's not
00:30:55.400
represented in the media it's not taught and in fact muslim couples are told uh per islam to kind
00:31:03.400
of keep their romances and stuff like that secret not to do public shows showings of affection so now
00:31:10.360
their lifestyle seems better than our lifestyle so when you do see couples uh doing coupley things
00:31:17.500
and it's appealing i think that's actually healthy however so that's with some people now with other
00:31:23.420
people that have kind of gone past that and said okay i'm i'm okay i i know that we can also be happy
00:31:30.080
as well now it goes to the next level which is is that what we're seeing is that realistic and not
00:31:37.100
everybody can discern between realistic non-realistic not everybody has those kind of mental
00:31:42.860
blocks in place how because when we're young from a very small age when it comes to drinking when it
00:31:48.820
comes to um voting when it comes to everything else 16 or 18 when it comes to the same things the same
00:31:55.660
dopamine release little kids as young as five and six are getting that same dopamine release that 16 18
00:32:01.480
year old is getting so you cannot now expect a child to and and being a school teacher as well
00:32:07.440
when i tell parents look don't let your child have a phone majority if not all parents say oh but they're
00:32:15.360
gonna come home they have to have a phone and this and that when it comes to social media they always
00:32:20.500
come and cry and i say look if your child's on tiktok you should be a mufti of tiktok yeah you should be a
00:32:26.320
of tiktok like you need to know that upside down
00:32:30.140
well okay so you need to know that app that your child's on but the thing is parents unfortunately
00:32:38.800
because of capitalism and stuff like that they're not home and because of the topics that we've been
00:32:43.600
talking about absent fathers and stuff like that parents can't keep on top of this stuff so social
00:32:48.020
media given to a child is like arming them like to their teeth that child cannot handle that so
00:32:54.480
expecting them to control and stuff like that it's going to be very difficult to maneuver around and
00:32:59.880
it's going to spill onto videos like this the gen z's are not going to be able to say okay i can
00:33:05.020
descend from this or i can tell this or i can do that so the thing is that shaquille's thing i see
00:33:11.200
does make sense because some people do need to know that aspect but to a point that okay i get it now
00:33:18.160
but now what happens where do you stop that everyone is trying to do it no but that's the thing you
00:33:23.480
you can't now say that everybody has to give a realistic view of marriage that's the thing not
00:33:29.320
every social media person can be seen to know you have to tick all five boxes some people are going
00:33:35.200
to tick two boxes some are going to tick three boxes it's unrealistic to say every social is it so hard
00:33:40.200
not to show your lifestyle is it so really hard like i'm trying to understand it's so hard that i
00:33:44.520
bought i bought something for my wife but ali it's not it's actually not natural it's actually not
00:33:48.840
natural to to start you know get up in the morning say i look like a piece of crap and yeah i'm gonna
00:33:54.420
take a selfie and just post it no we don't want to see your piece of crap face to that person and we
00:33:59.280
don't want to see your glamorous face yeah both of them are fake because in the morning you know you
00:34:03.880
look better i'm sure and when you wear makeup or for some brothers whatever maybe it's all fake
00:34:08.200
we're seeing we don't want to see it can i do my yeah yeah do your thing so you've got one and a half
00:34:13.740
so firstly i just want to touch upon the point and this little excuse that we're giving women to
00:34:20.600
be jealous yeah hasad is a sin to be jealous and envious yeah it's it's no but it's a sin
00:34:30.340
and if you are afflicted with jealousy work on that pray on it work on it because it will guess what
00:34:37.980
jealousy kills you first before it kills anybody else so we need to firstly stop giving women
00:34:44.120
excuses because i'm not a jealous person not all women are jealous everyone is jealous some women
00:34:49.240
have i personally wallahi i don't ever look at somebody's life and think i want it yes i can feel
00:34:56.160
inspired okay but that excuse of women being jealous it makes them get away with a lot of bad
00:35:03.480
behavior and and it they get bitter and it's like oh i'm just a woman i'm just a woman i i can be
00:35:10.520
jealous no it's you will go to your grave alone and if you have a mustard seed of hasad which you've
00:35:18.900
allowed to overtake your life it's very dangerous yeah and furthermore arrogance jealousy whatever the
00:35:26.980
case may be but furthermore 10 seconds uh social media yes i agree if we overshare if we put on there
00:35:36.880
and the intention is wrong and you're you're doing it to show others that you are better okay i can see
00:35:43.640
that point yeah but there are benefits to like zishan said brother zishan said you know we need that
00:35:51.460
representation we do it's like it's like alcohol it's a fantasy representation i do not mind i can
00:35:59.340
agree with what brother shakley said with the what brother zishan and you said if it is realistic
00:36:05.060
exactly i like the fact that they're showing okay the good party encourage our daughters to trust men
00:36:10.620
again and men to trust sisters again and to see the happiness of marriage but they need to show
00:36:15.820
problem solving struggle complications communications exactly and and how they are
00:36:21.740
navigating through the marriage exactly otherwise you're going to expect the person marriage it's
00:36:26.400
like allah says in the quran it's like allah says in the quran there's benefits to alcohol but the
00:36:29.760
but the harm is greater so we cannot say that the harm is catastrophic bro bro look at the divorce
00:36:36.220
you can't compare alcohol bro bro bro bro bro let me tell you something i can't i can't make a
00:36:40.720
comparison what i'm saying is this year can we come and say the harms the good outweighs the harm no
00:36:45.380
way bro there's you know how many people are getting divorced the divorce rates are crazy bro
00:36:50.300
people think i started the show for a joke i was bored at home and i thought our bitter truth
00:36:53.600
i know let me make some views and fame and whatever it may be bro i see this in front of me people are
00:36:58.580
getting divorced left right center bro and these social media i'm so sorry they play they play a
00:37:05.640
massive role because the thing is look that sister i agree with you in one sense but give the
00:37:10.800
responsibility and accountability accountability to the viewers so let me finish my point
00:37:15.060
please let me finish it and then you can go on the left yeah please because otherwise i'll be
00:37:17.600
taken out of context yeah if you go to that sister or the sisters who are doing these things and you
00:37:21.520
said to them do you feel jealous or somebody else i don't feel jealous at all you know why because
00:37:25.340
you've got everything and you're doing it of course you're not going to be jealous you think you're
00:37:28.580
going to be jealous if i had everything going for me and i'm like i don't feel jealous at all
00:37:33.140
of course if you're jealous what else do you want what else do you want so the point is they are
00:37:38.660
irresponsible i believe they are responsible i can remember there's levels her life though bro
00:37:42.680
i just want to say that i want to remind the accountability of the viewers you are watching
00:37:49.060
them you are following them so don't complain if you do not have their lives or whatever i'm just
00:37:53.600
saying that we should filter if i am feeling envious or i'm feeling that you know like whenever i follow
00:37:59.040
someone and i have this vibe like oh oh i don't have this oh i unfollow unhealthy what is she's
00:38:05.820
giving me even a smile even on muslim i follow them i don't mind as long as they're giving me
00:38:10.200
something we have to be more careful more responsible on who we follow and who we allow
00:38:15.840
to influence us nobody is as strong like you though sister not everyone can say i'm going
00:38:19.840
down no i'm just like the brother said like you know like those blockage those mind blockage
00:38:24.000
when you can differentiate reality and life many young people who are influenced by materialism are going to be
00:38:28.680
like i know i'll just unfollow they're going to be like no i want that lifestyle but we have
00:38:31.860
we're going to wrap up five minutes this is ira um just about this particular sister correct me if
00:38:42.740
i'm wrong so i do follow her in fact and um i think she actually shared an issue that she had which
00:38:49.500
was infertility which was really helpful to see especially for someone like my friend for example
00:38:55.160
was always going it's going through something similar so it was really nice to see that but i
00:38:59.020
think at the same time it's like this goes in regards to everything in this dunia like we can't
00:39:04.120
control people's actions but we must learn at all costs to control our own reaction whether this is
00:39:11.400
social media whether this is a conflict outside of home whatever it may be and i think if you know
00:39:16.980
it's like i mean there are some people that i follow and these people bless their hearts they are
00:39:22.540
like villagers and they have nothing going for them yet they have like they do work in a way you
00:39:27.940
know like they just show the bare basics of what they're doing you know how difficult their life is
00:39:33.260
and well like it grounds me so much and i think that's that's what we should be following that's
00:39:39.120
what we should be you know looking at use social media as a platform to remind yourself of how grateful
00:39:44.660
you should be and how blessed you are not other things that you're lacking it's okay to look at
00:39:49.540
something that you want but don't forget about what allah has blessed you with and what you
00:39:53.200
currently have as well because the minute you start to bring in the what ifs and oh if only
00:39:58.800
that's literally the minute you're handing your power over to the devil
00:40:01.680
yeah sorry bro i just want to say social media opposition is true because you see people like
00:40:09.340
about that prime drink people just watching it they didn't it didn't even taste nice but people watch
00:40:14.140
it so much that they wouldn't buy it you know i mean so the thing is when we see so things on social
00:40:19.420
media we need to control ourselves and really people are getting addicted to social media like
00:40:25.160
they're brainwashing like i'll say if you watch like a fast and furious film you get in your car and
00:40:29.580
you think you're driving fast but it just like it brainwashing us and that you know i mean so the
00:40:34.020
thing is we have to think about these things that what we're watching and what we're putting out there
00:40:38.960
the thing is when i put social media videos out there i want to see if kids can watch it and
00:40:44.300
everyone else can watch it what they're gonna if i'm giving good advice what they're gonna get out
00:40:48.100
of it you know i mean if they're gonna pick good advice because me and me and my wife done a video
00:40:51.720
that you know if you have an argument don't sleep on it you know i mean make sure you sort it out
00:40:55.560
before you go you know so things like that yeah that's what we need to pass on and that you know
00:40:59.700
so the thing is like you know there's all this uh i do feel like sorry to interrupt sag but i do feel
00:41:04.980
like the couple that we just watched on there and there's loads of other videos like that and
00:41:09.460
tiktokers like it but i feel like they do more good than bad for other people so that might inspire
00:41:16.660
other people to um yeah i mean that might be you might disagree but i feel like they do more good
00:41:23.180
than bad because i feel like you're on social media and you've opened yourself up you could open
00:41:29.380
yourself up to much worse on social media than seeing a happy halal marriage can we talk about
00:41:36.780
kind of just touching on that point you're right because you know what it is look when we look at
00:41:40.780
from face value what are they doing wrong nothing they're married they're showing like they're going
00:41:45.280
places you can nobody can come and see what they're doing is haram when we look at this certain there's
00:41:49.860
direct consequences and there's indirect consequences sometimes you do a and it's like this is haram
00:41:54.360
a consequence a ripple effect there are certain things that are done that have ripple effects
00:42:00.220
which are consequences which are greater if a majority of young or single muslim women males and
00:42:07.480
females are watching this and i have an expectation by the way i don't believe these these couples have
00:42:12.320
an intention of waking up to destroy marriages no way i assume the best that they're just doing it to
00:42:16.760
motivate 100 that's what i have i'm not blaming them in the sense what i'm saying it's not them
00:42:22.160
yeah it can have that effect you know why sister it gives a false expectation now if young muslims
00:42:28.320
are watching this and they have this false expectation and they are getting married and
00:42:32.460
realizing hold on a second i didn't expect to be like this probably it's like me watching superman
00:42:36.140
and saying rah let me put a cape on and jump from the 10th floor and i'm like i die and i go oh why
00:42:39.460
did that go are we 10 years old because it's fake yeah it's it's fake no that's the reason hello
00:42:43.640
the example is a bit extreme but no no no it's isn't but no you know no one second one second one second
00:42:48.740
one second why once one second guys one second why why one second why is it extreme if the if a
00:42:54.680
person has been brainwashed to a level where they're consuming something so much so that they
00:42:59.260
believe that there is true in marriage and then if somebody watches something and he goes and by the
00:43:05.040
way forgive me educational purposes do you know how many men watch pornography oh no okay okay one
00:43:10.920
second and they watch pornography and have a false imagination of how intimacy should their wives do you
00:43:16.880
know how many shahitam tells me they come to the sharia councils bro forgive me they don't even have
00:43:22.180
intimacy with their partners let me put it like this they can't have intimacy with their partners
00:43:26.020
without going into detail yeah because their brain is wired the dopamine is wired to a fake reality
00:43:31.380
so much so that their wife doesn't even do anything to them bro so this is how detrimental is and that's
00:43:37.580
of course it's something very very haram but the point is this when these couples come out and put this
00:43:42.340
lifestyle it is irresponsible i don't need to see your life bro enjoy it may allah give you more
00:43:48.020
the point is this if you're going to show me all that beautiful side to it or 10 seconds or whatever
00:43:52.840
it may be which is not real please show me the times where you're fighting each other and throwing
00:43:55.980
plates at each other's head yeah oh not that you guys are doing that but if you're doing that i want
00:43:59.700
to see both sides if you're going to be honest if you're going to be just i want to see the dark
00:44:03.660
the ugly and i want to see the good show me that oh you just want to show me the good side
00:44:07.760
why just the good side so can we just mention another issue i have no issue with this couple
00:44:14.080
may allah bless them i don't think they have bad intention and i don't want to talk about the
00:44:18.020
couple but the phenomena because like the thousands and thousands of people are following another issue
00:44:22.980
that we didn't speak about is the fact that husbands wives on videos and now women are expecting
00:44:30.860
and demanding and they're having conflict because they want to be on social media and they want their
00:44:36.180
husband to be on social media and this is for them couple goals that's that's something easy fame
00:44:43.540
it's easy fame and they want it and they want the man to go against his fitra to protect his wife
00:44:49.160
from exposure it's it's a normal thing for a man and it's a natural thing now men are complaining
00:44:55.540
because their wives are is causing fitna in the marriage because they don't like
00:45:00.080
show they don't like when the wife exposed he has a hack on what you're going to show on social
00:45:04.960
media uh if you're going to show yourself or show the house that's his house too that's his life too
00:45:09.720
and it's becoming a conflict not because of the couple but because as well of obviously what we
00:45:15.600
are allowing like in our lives and we need to wrap up just want to say that life is not a fairy tale
00:45:22.300
so if you watch something on social media it's not real life and this is one i say to the youngsters
00:45:27.420
and that you know it's the younger sisters and the brothers i just want to say to you life is
00:45:32.060
not fairy tale like me and my wife worked really hard for where we are we still have our bad days
00:45:37.800
good days but we work on it so anything you see on social media looks like a fairy tale is not real
00:45:43.580
and the other thing i wanted to say was um we were talking about control
00:45:49.560
and the thing is control if you look from a kind of secular point of view it's very kind of
00:45:57.600
unrealistic to attain islam is one of the well it's the only most practical way for us to attain
00:46:04.000
control in fact about a week's time we're going to be fasting from dusk till dawn and that's something
00:46:09.280
that the whole ummah will be doing collectively so control is something that again it's it's all
00:46:14.700
well and good telling us look have control and unsubscribe but the thing is islam will equip you
00:46:19.820
to to practically do those things that's why you see certain prominent atheists on stage they'll be
00:46:24.860
saying all this like christopher hitchens but when he comes off stage he's a he used to be an addict of
00:46:29.140
whiskey so the thing is that you know it's important for us to kind of understand that you know on the one
00:46:36.020
hand you know we do need to kind of control ourselves but on the other hand on the other
00:46:42.000
hand it's islam that can equip ourselves to do that and the thing is the second point i skipped my
00:46:46.840
head but maybe you can come back to me so i don't want it to go on a negative thing as if i was
00:46:50.800
promoting it because it kind of seemed like that that i'm like there's nothing wrong with it
00:46:53.900
my point was that i don't think it's as bad as your uh as you might think it is i'm not saying for
00:47:00.200
people to go and just do it but i just don't think it's really really bad because what my concern is
00:47:05.160
you know how fast the muslim umrah are quick to start judging people these lovely brothers and
00:47:09.700
sisters now will wake up in the morning and see comments like look at you day look at you showing
00:47:14.060
off your lifestyle regardless of what they are i just know i just i just don't think what they're
00:47:20.540
doing is evil i feel like maybe everything can balance and like you said maybe do it in a just
00:47:25.500
way where you i don't think you need to show the bad because i don't think that's an islamic
00:47:29.140
etiquette i don't know why people want me to show the bad in my life but um
00:47:33.780
yeah but who wants to see we must we show the truth if you you don't you cannot show only one
00:47:40.480
do you want to see me arguing with my wife yeah you know you know the people no no only only if
00:47:47.180
you are showing us the past where you're not showing everything else okay look we haven't
00:47:50.780
each to their own but anyway my point was just balance balance i just don't think that um yeah
00:47:55.180
i agree with you i don't think it should be rammed down your throat of nothing but good because
00:47:58.880
anything in the extreme even if it is halal anything in extreme yes it's bad and even when
00:48:03.800
it comes to diet too much water is bad you know what i'm trying to say so i feel like balance and
00:48:08.140
maybe yeah not just show good good good good good because it can cause jealousy everything
00:48:12.280
can balance was just my point but i just don't think it's evil what they're doing true of course i
00:48:16.880
don't i don't believe they intend evil um uh and that's the point brother and sister
00:48:22.520
no no no this instagram is beneficial who's instagram i was social media yeah
00:48:29.220
so just as a because you said resolve con uh you know like conflict uh resolution and things like
00:48:37.020
that us me and a few of the sisters ira and fahima we have a muslim mothers support forum for women
00:48:45.300
who are going through divorce so that we can mediate and allow a healthy co-parenting
00:48:51.900
situation so follow that are you guys doing that with the brothers yes okay brilliant makes sense
00:48:56.880
with the pizza okay so one of the things i wanted to say was uh escapism yeah yeah a lot of people go
00:49:06.880
to social media for escapism and social media is actually going to get worse with um ai artificial
00:49:12.680
intelligence and you know putting vr goggles and stuff like that so the thing is we need to look
00:49:17.380
at the root causes like why why are people escaping why do people want to escape because they're not
00:49:23.320
happy with reality and the thing is it's that sort of stuff we need to be looking at people are looking
00:49:27.800
at social media couples because they're unhappy with their own relationship they're looking at
00:49:31.800
idealistic women because they're unhappy with their own wife they're looking at you know certain
00:49:36.140
people exploring the world because they're unhappy with their life so that is you know something that
00:49:41.000
really should be explored not as simple as oh don't watch this don't watch that i mean let's take a
00:49:46.000
stock at why you feel the need to watch that or why do you feel the need to post your picture maybe
00:49:51.580
that person generally speaking it was actually an interview where a person a celebrity was saying
00:49:55.980
when i see a selfie of somebody i genuinely think that that person just wants love for that day
00:50:00.720
and maybe they're not getting it and they need that kind of validation from from strangers and other
00:50:05.860
people so so rather than us saying like social media this so there are deep rooted issues and it
00:50:13.000
is in the psyche of people like although we it's it's social media we become very unsocial we become
00:50:18.820
very awkward with each other we become very sensitive you know all of these labels oh adhd autism
00:50:25.900
there are persons going around like like 17 labels oh i'm this i'm that i can't have dairy i can't do
00:50:31.120
this well what can you do exactly so so the thing is there's a lot of things to kind of consider when
00:50:35.600
it comes to this as well and you know if somebody is doing that kind of i think it's important to
00:50:41.100
train yourself and train your children to kind of rather than plucking at the leaves and the branches
00:50:45.440
look at the roots of the issue as long as we try to look for the roots like why is that person
00:50:49.980
putting up a picture why like harry potter we're watching harry potter let's see the behind the scenes
00:50:54.660
look how much green screen they're using look at the time it takes them to do makeup look at
00:50:58.660
harmani without makeup and stuff like that exactly what i'm saying you've got a big problem with
00:51:02.960
makeup without makeup i don't know who harmani is
00:51:05.320
so guys in a nutshell uh one thing that i'll give inshallah is an advice to everybody is understand
00:51:17.340
that allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created two realities yeah there's the physical reality and
00:51:21.440
there's a metaphysical reality yeah the metaphysical reality is something you do not see
00:51:24.600
there is jinns they are shayateen there are evil eye we do not understand how severe that is if i
00:51:30.760
told you guys there is somebody asking you to kill you you'll call the police you'll make sure
00:51:34.380
somebody is next to you bulletproof vest armored cars we're saying there are shayateen on your case
00:51:40.640
wallahi we do not understand do you give that emphasis to protection how many people doing the
00:51:44.800
adhkar bro how many if you're a public figure you're not doing the adhkar wallahi it's as if
00:51:48.940
get a garnish of yourself not literally but you might as well the point is you are in danger and
00:51:54.880
what we're telling social media couples you are sabotaging your marriage do you know millions of
00:51:59.980
people looking at your marriage wallahi it's by allah's mercy that doesn't touch you and we know in
00:52:05.600
surah yusuf allah subhanahu wa ta'ala talks and says to his father to his own brothers don't mention
00:52:11.520
your dream to your own brothers biological brothers and we've got people forget your brothers
00:52:18.160
people who hate your guts but they want you to die who are watching you and you're showing them look
00:52:23.040
what i'm doing wallahi it's by allah's mercy that your marriage and may allah protect you and is in
00:52:28.520
tag wallahi it's as if allah's got a shield if that was to take him for a second these eyes will
00:52:34.060
destroy and crumble in minutes brothers and sisters from the bitter truth show till next time
00:52:38.080
assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said
00:52:42.880
whoever builds a masjid for the sake of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allah will build for him
00:52:47.740
a similar house in jannah on that day where allah subhanahu wa ta'ala tells us that our books will be
00:52:53.300
given and every little atom weight of good deed will be there and imagine you see a mountain and
00:53:00.180
you're like what a lucky person which righteous person and allah says this is for you for me yes
00:53:06.460
what did i do you allow people to pray you built a masjid i never had the money to build a masjid
00:53:12.060
oh allah you helped you gave towards it and allah gives you the reward of as if you've built it
00:53:17.440
donate now guys and do not delay and share the video for extra rewards