Ali Dawah - December 10, 2021ISLAM HONOURS WOMAN - FEMINIST LADY AMAZED
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
216.60486
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the role of women in Islam and how they should be treated as human beings. We also talk about what it means to be a Muslim woman in today's society and why it is important to have respect for women.
Transcript
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Islamnet is raising funds to establish a masjid and community centre in Norway.
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Every person who prays there, every kid that learns about Islam, every youngster that
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memorises the Quran, all of this and so much more can be on your scale of good deeds.
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And let's just see what it says, and point to me at a verse.
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Okay, so he said, my Lord, prison is more to my liking than that to which they invite me.
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And if you do not avert from me their plan, I might incline towards them and thus be of the ignorant.
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So his Lord responded to him and averted from him their plan.
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So there's Prophet Yusuf, Joseph, peace be upon him.
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So here, he was a very handsome man, he was a very very handsome man.
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Yeah, and so for example, a lot of women were after him.
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So here, there's actually, there was the ruler, there was the Pharaoh and there was his minister.
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And his minister, when he was a child, adopted him.
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And when he did that, as he grew older, the minister's wife kind of fell in love with him.
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And he was actually calling him to have sex with him.
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The thing is, he himself was basically, because he's a prophet of God, he didn't want that.
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So basically, he was saying here, he's praying to God.
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Because they are calling me to something that I fear that if it isn't by your mercy, I might incline to it.
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Yeah, so obviously he's not, but he just fears for himself.
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And he prefers to be in prison, then be out where these women are hunting him down.
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I don't mean to laugh, I don't mean to laugh at that, I've been thinking today as well.
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Exactly, but that's what I was going to refer to.
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Because if you think about it, it's like every man's dream.
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But you see, as Muslims and Muslim men, we are told to honor people.
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And especially women as well. What's your name, sister?
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So, sister Talia, what we're saying is that, the reason I refer to you as a sister,
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is because I don't want you to think that I am flirting with you in any way or shape or form.
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Because sometimes what happens is, sadly, I'm sure you've been cat-cooked.
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So, the thing is, we live in a society where women are sexualized.
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So, as Muslim men, we are told to lower our gazes.
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Meaning that, if we see something that, you know, like, obviously I'm talking to you,
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I would like, I'm looking at you because I'm having a dialogue.
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But for example, we are told to lower our gazes if we see the opposite gender.
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The reason being is because we don't want to look at them as sexual objects.
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So, that's the reason why, for example, it's so important, like you said,
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that in today's time, that's every man's dream.
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But to him, it's like, I prefer to be locked up.
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Now, those who obviously, we are human beings, we're Muslim men as well.
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But the point is this, the default position is that we should have respect to every woman.
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And that even, like, if we see a woman dressed inappropriately or whatever it be,
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that we are told to lower our gazes and look away.
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But today's time, a lot of women would see that as offensive.
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A lot of people claim that as Muslims or Islam is against women's rights, etc.
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But Islam is the only religion that is there to honor women in a right way.
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Because, for example, for example, sorry, sorry, yeah.
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So, for example, one of the things is that when, for example, dating, we don't believe in dating.
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Because we believe, I believe dating is the biggest fraud ever for women.
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Because you've got a man that you're in a relationship with, you call him your boyfriend,
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But you are getting into this relationship with the hopes that, because obviously with a woman,
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for you, obviously, you might be thinking, okay, I love him.
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So, because you don't know that, you invest yourself in them emotionally and in different ways as well.
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And then after that, you're heartbroken or used.
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So, what Islam does is, in order to protect the woman, Islam says that there is no dating.
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If, for example, I am interested in an individual, I have to go and speak to her dad.
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Because, number one, because that's her guardian.
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So, I need to go and speak to her father and ask him.
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I think a lot of people see that as kind of like owning.
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I don't like the thought of, you know, the possession whole part of it.
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Because there are men out there who are going to use and abuse them.
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So, the thing is here, even though our society has made it an abnormal thing.
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For example, that your parent or like your dad or your brother is there to protect you.
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Because they're a man and they know how a man is.
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Me, personally, I was raised by a single mother.
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So, you know, my mum had been quite a young age.
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And so, I don't know my mother to call the father, personally.
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So, I feel that, you know, my mum has done really quite a good job.
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You know, it gives me a nice reminder that it's not specific, like you said, to one gender.
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With us, it's that these procedures are put in place to protect the well-being of the woman.
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So, she's not emotionally manipulated and given false promises.
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Because what happens is you see a lot of women who have been in a relationship.
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Now, in your mind, you're thinking, okay, I go into this relationship and he was my boyfriend.
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But in his mind, he was there for you just for one thing.
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And this reoccurring pattern puts you in an insecure position.
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It would be wrong of me to assume that a gentleman was like that.
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Because you're good-hearted, you think everyone is like you.
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But that's the reason why Islam stipulated that if an individual is interested in you,
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Number two, that when you are getting to know him, there's a chaperone.
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So, this is a chaperone that will be there in the dating process for you to get to know each other.
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Now, this might be seen a bit like, come on, a chaperone hovering over me.
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It is there once again, because if a man is after the wrong things,
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he knows your brother or your mother or your father is there.
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And he's going to be thinking twice because he's going to agree that's the consequences if I do something wrong.
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Number three, if it comes to the point where marriage is going to happen, then you have a right to dowry.
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It is, but the point here is it's your security.
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Because if a man has the intentions of wanting you for one thing,
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even though he's met your dad and he doesn't care about that.
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Now, financially, he knows, hold on a second, she's asking for gold.
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It is your right to have something because it's your security.
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If he decides to leave you, you have something to hold on to.
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Because a lot of guys here in today's age, they're called deadbeat dads.
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You know, they go and sleep around, leave and disappear.
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So what you ask for also prevents him from being after you for the wrong things.
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Because if you come and say, I want £5,000, which is your right.
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So I know that, okay, I've spoken to the father.
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I've got to know her from dates and her chaperone is there.
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She wants something, which if I really love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with,
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If I love you and I want to be with you, I will pay that £5,000.
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Now, with a marriage, in a relationship, sometimes it's something that is hidden.
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But with a marriage, it's something that should be announced to the people.
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I believe that a lot more people should be open to, you know, just be like, look, I love this woman.
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Because now once you're married, you have rights in marriage.
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Not sharing the rent, you don't pay a single penny on the rent.
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He has to provide, but this is very interesting.
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Do you mind me asking how it is on the flip side of men as well?
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You know how in terms of, you know, you say that with women, I'm sorry, I can't get my words out.
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So when you go to like, I don't want to say court, you know, you get in a relationship with a lady,
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you want to go meet their family and all that stuff.
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You know, like for example, I have my mother as my protector.
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In terms of a gentleman, how does it work for you?
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So a man, in that perspective, doesn't need a guardian.
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So a man can choose to get married without his parents, yeah.
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But then again, the reason might be because of that is because most of the time, men have the power.
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In the context, if you're in a relationship, he can try to blackmail you.
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That's the reason why you require a guardian, because in the sense, not that...
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Look, I believe women are emotionally very strong.
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We are physically strong, but women are emotionally very strong.
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That's why we have higher suicide rates with men, yeah.
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And single mothers, a lot of scholars in Islam, they had single mothers.
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And I believe single mothers, I praise them a lot, because they are like mother and father.
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If you play, like, if you look at it, they do an immense, amazing job.
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You know, I'm sure your mother has to bring up a child like yourself.
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So the thing is here, sister, is that that's the reason why it's stipulated for a woman,
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because a woman can be overpowered, yeah, in different ways.
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You know, there's revenge porn and all this kind of stuff.
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So that's the reason why a guardian is required for a woman,
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not because she is not capable in a certain, like, intellectual capacity in that way,
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but it's there to protect you because there are men out there that can abuse you.
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We know a lot of people that women get into sex trafficking, you know.
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Why? Because this man has this, and if you don't do that, do you get what I'm trying to say?
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Yeah, I don't really want to see a gentleman as a predator, though.
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I don't think the default position for us is to feel like that,
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You know, we had, for example, Sarah Everard, what's the name of the one who got killed?
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Even though we don't want to see it like that, and we shouldn't.
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For example, I don't think, when you look at me, you're like a sexual predator,
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But also, it is your right to protect yourself.
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Because putting your guards down, for example, could cost other things to happen.
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So it's got stipulations in place to protect the woman and her rights.
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Yes, and not to be, it used to be cared for, you know.
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But some people take this and be like, oh, Islam makes a woman seem as if she can't.
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That's the reason why the guardianship from your dad goes to your husband.
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Because now, let's say you marry someone and you're living together.
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You can work if you like as well, but you are in constant maintenance.
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A lot of people are like, oh no, I'm a feminist and this, that.
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I believe there was a study done over 100,000 people in a matter of 25 years.
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They found out that women are less happier in the workplace, you know.
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And I'm not saying necessarily, this doesn't mean they shouldn't work.
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But what we're seeing is, for example, this movement of, you know,
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you have women who are in the business, workplace, 30, 40, no kids.
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And they hit a rock bottom and they're like, well, what now?
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I'm at an age where I don't know if I can have kids.
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But it is your husband's duty to provide and maintain.
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Men are the maintainers and protectors of women.
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So if I walk in with my wife and somebody puts a knife out,
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It shouldn't be seen as, you know, because we're trying to take care of women.
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That's what I'm trying to point out, how Islam is women.
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I spoke to like a lot of my colleagues who are Muslim.
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And it's really nice and respectful in terms of the hijab and the liqab as well.
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And I understand that it's not necessarily something you have to wear.
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There's a difference between you, but you don't have to.
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Yeah, there's a difference between all of them.
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You know, I find it really lovely that that's also breaking the stigma is, but, you know,
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I'm not really appreciative of what people are listening to me.
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But it's just because, you know, that we're opposite gender.
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I prefer asking because you know it's the same.
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I really appreciate that you asked, but it's genuinely, it's because, look, to us,
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I know it sounds cliche, but every woman with respect, and to me, it's like, the way I honor
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you is that I do not want to have any interaction in the context.
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Because you know you have the total neutral of the Me Too movement, yeah?
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Even in the workplace, making gestures of touching the knee, or this, that, etc.
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It's genuinely out of respect that we have taught, and that's why you said to me sister,
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This is really lovely for you today, and it's actually nice to have a conversation, and not
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Islamnet is raising funds to establish a masjid and community centre in Norway.
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Every person who prays there, every kid that learns about Islam, every youngster that memorises the Quran,
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all of this and so much more can be on your scale of good deeds.