Ali Dawah - August 20, 2025


＂MANY MEN HAVE HURT ME＂ - WILL ISLAM HELP？


Episode Stats


Length

24 minutes

Words per minute

212.89073

Word count

5,167

Sentence count

572

Harmful content

Misogyny

30

sentences flagged

Hate speech

45

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Jummah Kutbahayah is working in Pakistan with a flood that has hit the country. 1,700 people have lost their lives and millions of people have been displaced. We cannot enable and turn a blind eye to the suffering of Muslims in different countries.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Please pass to paradise. You're here with us. You choose your path. I am here with you. You choose your path. We're the God of paradise. God rest your soul. Your ally, rest your soul. He was between the both of us.
00:00:26.200 Assalamu alaikum guys. Before the video starts, brothers and sisters, one ummah is working in Pakistan with a flood that's hit the country.
00:00:35.320 1,700 people have lost their life. Millions of people have lost their homes and been displaced.
00:00:40.300 So the videos that you can see here, the pictures that you can see, guys, is demonstrating what one ummah is doing on the ground.
00:00:45.100 We know Gaza is important and we know what's going on there.
00:00:47.520 But brothers and sisters, we cannot enable and turn a blind eye to the suffering of Muslims in different countries.
00:00:53.540 Be it Pakistan. Be it Turkey. The earthquakes. Wherever it may be. Afghanistan. So many other places need our help.
00:00:59.780 And I know all of us have given as much as we can to Gaza. But brothers and sisters, wallahi, just imagine your home wrecked.
00:01:06.520 Thousands of people have died. Your family members have passed away. You have nowhere to live.
00:01:10.240 Brothers and sisters, they need our help as much as Gaza does.
00:01:12.960 So I urge you guys, inshallah, it's 100% donation policy. Donate whatever amount, even if it's one pound.
00:01:18.380 The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, the best form of sadaqah is to give water.
00:01:22.220 But brothers and sisters, let's give them food and shelter and water to drink so they can overcome this tragedy, inshallah.
00:01:30.100 I urge you guys to go to the link and donate now. Enjoy the video.
00:01:33.060 Lucy, how are you doing, Lucy? Are you coming back from work or where have you been?
00:01:36.540 I'm just kind of guessing in life.
00:01:38.700 You're guessing in life. Sister, have you ever wondered what's the purpose of life?
00:01:41.500 Why am I here? Where am I going?
00:01:43.820 Not so much me, but other people I've had that thought about.
00:01:47.400 But do you never think to yourself, like the way you're created, you know there's some unique things about yourself.
00:01:50.740 Your fingerprint, for example, your DNA, yes?
00:01:54.560 And they even said your teeth. No one's teeth is the same as others. 0.92
00:01:59.040 Our teeth structure.
00:02:00.640 So it's like a unique ID. Like my fingerprint is a mature fingerprint.
00:02:04.360 My DNA is completely separate to yours.
00:02:06.200 So the question is the following.
00:02:08.200 It's impossible that a randomness can give rise to this.
00:02:12.220 There has to be a lawmaker because there's order.
00:02:15.160 Do you hear what I'm trying to say?
00:02:15.740 So do you believe in a higher being?
00:02:18.380 Yeah, I do.
00:02:20.280 Okay, so we believe we're Muslims.
00:02:22.560 We believe that God is one.
00:02:24.620 We call him Allah. It means the true God.
00:02:27.080 So we say the following, sister.
00:02:28.580 This being that you believe in, do you believe it's energy or do you believe it's a personal being?
00:02:33.880 I don't know right now. I'm kind of willing to learn.
00:02:36.840 Okay, perfect. Let me give you an example.
00:02:38.500 Behind us we have like, it's a picture, but imagine that was a painting.
00:02:41.660 Let's suppose that was a painting, yeah?
00:02:43.520 By looking at that painting, we know a lot about the painter.
00:02:46.740 For example, number one, that he exists.
00:02:49.320 So if this was a painting, we would know that somebody painted it.
00:02:52.080 Number two, we would know that they wanted to paint.
00:02:54.420 They had the will to paint.
00:02:55.740 Number three, we would say that they had knowledge.
00:02:57.440 Because without knowledge, you can't do anything.
00:02:59.160 And also they had to have some kind of power to paint, to do the painting, yeah?
00:03:04.140 So now when I look at you or when you look at me,
00:03:07.400 you will understand that we are some kind of like a painting.
00:03:09.600 We're a design.
00:03:10.640 So then the question comes to the following.
00:03:13.380 If a being exists, then he has to have attributes.
00:03:17.160 Meaning, he willed to create us.
00:03:19.220 So he must have a will.
00:03:20.620 He must be the all-knowing.
00:03:21.720 Why?
00:03:22.180 Because you are made out of DNA.
00:03:24.080 DNA has information in it.
00:03:25.360 Do you know that?
00:03:26.680 Of course.
00:03:27.220 Yeah, okay.
00:03:27.760 So information requires intelligence.
00:03:29.500 So that means that being has to be the all-knowing.
00:03:32.340 He has to be the all-powerful.
00:03:33.980 For example, today you ate.
00:03:36.160 Yes.
00:03:36.520 You were sleeping.
00:03:39.500 Your heart beats.
00:03:40.980 So we say that he has to be the sustainer.
00:03:43.320 Because if he's created us, he's the one that makes our heart beat.
00:03:46.520 He's the one that provides us nourishment.
00:03:48.500 The fact that my stomach can take the food that I eat and give me nutrition.
00:03:52.020 Okay.
00:03:52.460 I understand what you're saying.
00:03:54.440 I understand and I believe in what you're saying.
00:03:57.060 But I hope that this, whatever you're filming me for.
00:04:01.080 Yeah.
00:04:01.580 Oh, we're live on YouTube.
00:04:02.540 Sorry.
00:04:02.740 Forgive me.
00:04:03.080 Yeah.
00:04:03.820 I hope that this is tempered with my own vision.
00:04:08.160 Whereby I believe in what you're doing is beautiful.
00:04:11.360 And I think it's wonderful.
00:04:12.640 Thank you.
00:04:13.200 But I have my own vision of God.
00:04:15.680 Sure.
00:04:15.960 What is that?
00:04:16.380 Do you mind sharing it with us?
00:04:18.500 It's my own personal.
00:04:19.960 Okay.
00:04:20.280 Personal.
00:04:20.640 Okay.
00:04:20.920 It's a personal God.
00:04:22.460 It's not one.
00:04:22.800 Okay.
00:04:23.060 That's good.
00:04:23.420 I don't wake up every morning and, like, pray to God.
00:04:28.440 Okay.
00:04:28.740 I know that life is going to be okay.
00:04:30.620 And I've been through a rough ride in life.
00:04:33.900 But I hope that this isn't going to be kind of put out as like...
00:04:39.340 No, no, no.
00:04:39.600 Not to do with some nice discussion.
00:04:40.940 Just learning about it.
00:04:41.300 I do believe in certain excerpts of the Koran.
00:04:44.360 Okay.
00:04:44.580 I do believe in the Koran.
00:04:46.860 But I also believe in other things like Buddhism.
00:04:49.560 I believe in spiritualism.
00:04:55.280 I believe in other parts of humanity.
00:04:58.740 And I think that that is part of humanity, isn't it?
00:05:02.060 Of course, of course.
00:05:02.660 I mean, we're here, like, for us, you know, sharing this information with you.
00:05:06.400 It's just to, you know, get to understand each other better.
00:05:09.040 So to us, like we said, we don't believe God is a man or a woman.
00:05:11.540 We believe he's one being.
00:05:12.880 He's not in the creation.
00:05:14.080 He's not a man or a woman. 0.91
00:05:14.860 He's not a statue.
00:05:15.780 We believe he's all-powerful because he's created billions of species.
00:05:18.920 So what we say is that, argument's sake, if I give you an example.
00:05:22.660 If I said to you, I'll give you 10 billion pounds, but you're going to die tomorrow.
00:05:25.900 Would you take it?
00:05:27.640 You can give me every kind of God-like question or 10 billion pounds.
00:05:32.820 But I live on this earth in complete peace.
00:05:37.200 That's good.
00:05:37.700 And I walk day in and day out.
00:05:40.240 And I wake up and I'm thankful for my life.
00:05:42.520 That's good.
00:05:42.880 Gratitude is very important as well.
00:05:44.160 Yeah, that's good.
00:05:44.700 That's a very good point for you.
00:05:45.500 I pray to a higher power.
00:05:48.740 Wow, okay.
00:05:49.240 And now that higher power may be for you, Allah.
00:05:52.640 Yeah.
00:05:53.120 Or for somebody else, Buddha.
00:05:54.940 Or maybe for somebody else, Christ.
00:05:57.660 I don't know.
00:05:59.400 But for me, it's somebody, I don't know, that I'm finding out right now.
00:06:03.440 Okay, that's good.
00:06:03.920 And I'm okay with that.
00:06:05.320 Okay, that's good.
00:06:06.040 Is there anything you would like to know about why we worship Allah?
00:06:09.140 If you have any questions, I would like to share that with you.
00:06:11.680 Or are you happy where you are?
00:06:13.180 Would you like to be a bit like, you know, I want to know about Islam and what is Allah?
00:06:17.600 I am completely peaceful in my life.
00:06:20.680 Okay, fantastic.
00:06:21.820 I'm very happy to hear that.
00:06:23.180 It's good to know that you are peaceful.
00:06:24.440 And I hope God increases you in peace.
00:06:26.340 To us, we believe that the closer we...
00:06:28.460 And I think it's true, you have a relation with God Almighty.
00:06:30.580 The closer you get to him, the peace will grow.
00:06:32.280 And I'm happy for you.
00:06:33.440 Thank you.
00:06:33.840 And I feel that we're on the same path.
00:06:35.880 Oh yeah, 100%.
00:06:36.460 Yeah, definitely.
00:06:37.180 And I wish you well, my brother.
00:06:38.420 Thank you very much.
00:06:38.920 Can I...
00:06:39.360 Sister, what's your name?
00:06:40.580 Lucy.
00:06:41.060 Sorry, just out of respect, we don't shake hands with opposite gender. 1.00
00:06:43.460 That's okay.
00:06:43.920 Yeah, yeah, just out of respect.
00:06:44.680 A five or nothing?
00:06:45.760 In the air.
00:06:47.040 Without touching.
00:06:47.580 In the air.
00:06:48.360 There we go.
00:06:48.900 You know why?
00:06:49.260 Because we believe every woman is like a queen.
00:06:51.940 You know, and we believe, for example, that's our way of respect.
00:06:54.460 Because you know, in today's time, for example, sometimes you're in the workplace, you have
00:06:58.280 male colleagues who might touch your shoulder, and you want to know what's appropriate.
00:07:02.000 And sometimes some people are uncomfortable.
00:07:03.480 So to us, what we do is we're like, well, rather there's no physical touch, because some
00:07:07.360 people might be comfortable touching the shoulder hand with us.
00:07:09.800 Thank you.
00:07:10.100 It's just out of respect.
00:07:11.140 Thank you for pushing that.
00:07:11.620 No, no, 100%.
00:07:12.280 Because we appreciate every woman has value to offer.
00:07:15.040 We are against the Western society's sexualization, objectification of women.
00:07:18.760 We're really against that, you know, because it dehumanizes them.
00:07:21.780 You know, a woman has so much more to offer. 1.00
00:07:23.160 Why is she in front of a chocolate bar or a car? 1.00
00:07:25.420 You know, so we just say that, as a Muslim, from our religion, God teaches us Muslim men
00:07:30.540 to lower our gaze.
00:07:31.820 Meaning, do not look at a woman in that manner. 0.96
00:07:34.220 That's why we have utmost respect to the opposite gender, and vice versa. 0.99
00:07:37.060 Like, my wife can't shake the hand of her opposite.
00:07:39.180 It's not just a Muslim man thing.
00:07:41.540 A Muslim woman is not allowed to shake the hand of a man as well. 0.99
00:07:44.180 Be the Muslim woman. 0.99
00:07:44.820 Like, if a Muslim woman in a hijab wants to shake her hand, I'll say, sorry, no. 1.00
00:07:47.560 So just so you know, it's not.
00:07:48.320 Because some people think it's a non-Muslim thing.
00:07:50.100 Of course, of course.
00:07:50.880 Yeah, exactly.
00:07:51.440 I'm very curious, though, as your, sorry, Muslim wife. 1.00
00:07:55.680 Yes.
00:07:56.140 If she, like, how long have you been together?
00:07:59.920 We've been together about six years.
00:08:02.620 Six years.
00:08:03.140 So, when you reach a certain point, like, clearly, you've met each other and you have
00:08:08.000 a very lovely relationship, et cetera.
00:08:10.500 At some point, there will be erosion.
00:08:15.640 There's going to be moments where she will seek, I don't know.
00:08:22.200 No, I'll be honest.
00:08:22.720 It's fine.
00:08:23.040 But, like, she may seek somebody else, like, and that's a normal reaction from a sense
00:08:33.060 of, I don't know.
00:08:37.140 So do you mean, like, for example, if she comes to a point where she's not happy with
00:08:40.120 me?
00:08:40.840 Or she wants to be with someone else? 0.99
00:08:42.440 Okay, well, in Islam, if that's the case, it's very simple.
00:08:44.480 She has a right to divorce. 1.00
00:08:45.640 She can say, for example, I do not want to...
00:08:48.040 What does she do? 1.00
00:08:48.800 Well, very simple.
00:08:49.360 Like, in Islam, there is no force. 0.87
00:08:51.000 Like, for example, in Christianity, you cannot get divorced.
00:08:53.980 In Judaism, if the man doesn't give you the divorce, you're married to him for eternity. 0.79
00:08:57.600 In Islam, Islam gave the right to a woman to divorce 1,400 years ago. 0.60
00:09:00.780 Meaning, if she's not...
00:09:02.020 And by the way, some people don't know this.
00:09:03.460 If a woman is sexually not satisfied in the bedroom, as a Muslim woman, she has every 1.00
00:09:08.820 right to say, I would not like to be with you.
00:09:10.920 Islam gives her full right to divorce. 0.97
00:09:12.780 So why is...
00:09:13.900 Sorry.
00:09:14.560 Like, lots of questions.
00:09:15.780 No, no, please.
00:09:16.420 So, okay, that's on one part.
00:09:18.500 But also, certain Muslim men get three... 0.97
00:09:22.680 Four wives. 0.99
00:09:23.660 Okay, why is that?
00:09:24.840 Okay, so what Islam does is... 1.00
00:09:26.020 Islam is pragmatic.
00:09:27.240 So, for example, let's take ourselves a bit.
00:09:29.560 There's reasons.
00:09:30.200 So let's go a bit.
00:09:30.960 A couple of hundred years ago, we didn't have Tesco's around the corner.
00:09:34.600 It was a, like, tribal, like, living style in the sense where you need to understand,
00:09:39.700 for example, if I have four wives, I can impregnate all four of them.
00:09:43.320 They know who the father is.
00:09:44.140 They know who the mother is.
00:09:45.360 So before we had all DNA and who the father is, number one.
00:09:47.620 So number one, for lineage.
00:09:49.000 Number two, for example, for survival.
00:09:51.140 Because you need to understand, you've got different tribes, there's wars happening.
00:09:53.580 So in order to increase your population, that is one reason.
00:09:56.500 Number two, usually men die in wars.
00:09:59.020 Like, for example, World War II.
00:10:00.220 There was an instance, I don't know if it was in the UK or France, so many men died that
00:10:03.900 they would encourage men to get married.
00:10:06.220 So, that's number two.
00:10:07.460 Number three, for example, there is many other reasons that, for example, even if we've got
00:10:13.040 today's time, there's far more men who are homosexuals. 0.86
00:10:15.620 So, which means there are more women that are single and can't find a partner. 1.00
00:10:19.520 So what Islam says is the following.
00:10:20.920 If it's going to be done, it has to be done in the right way.
00:10:22.940 Now, let me give you the reason that applies to today.
00:10:25.240 How many men do you know who have side chicks, mistresses and girlfriends who cheat on their 0.99
00:10:30.420 wives? 0.70
00:10:31.080 So what Islam says is the following, sister.
00:10:33.420 If you are going to do it, you have to do it in a correct way without degrading this other
00:10:39.160 woman.
00:10:39.600 So what men usually do is the following.
00:10:40.980 They say, okay, I have a wife, but I have the innate desire to be with another woman.
00:10:45.780 Okay.
00:10:46.420 What they do is they mistreat that other woman by argument's sake.
00:10:49.520 She's just a side chick. 1.00
00:10:50.640 Islam says, no, it doesn't work like that.
00:10:52.320 If you are going to do it, you are going to do it the proper way.
00:10:55.460 How you married your first wife, you have to marry her. 1.00
00:10:57.700 You gave a dowry.
00:10:58.800 Do you know what a dowry is?
00:10:59.720 Dowry, yeah, yeah.
00:11:00.420 You have to give the dowry to the second wife. 1.00
00:11:02.180 You buy her a car, you buy her a car. 0.86
00:11:04.120 You buy her a phone, you buy her a phone.
00:11:05.740 What that does is it says equality to a certain degree.
00:11:08.940 So what the man does is he's thinking, okay, I just want to be with the second wife just 1.00
00:11:12.720 for sex.
00:11:13.480 So Islam says, uh-uh, you can't do that because you have to meet the father.
00:11:16.920 So he's thinking, oh my gosh, I have to go through all of these obstacles.
00:11:20.040 It deters the man to do it the right way.
00:11:23.400 So what we do is in today's time, there's so many men.
00:11:26.820 In France, to have a mistress is fashion. 0.70
00:11:29.160 It's like a casual thing.
00:11:30.240 So what Islam says is, no, you are not allowed to degrade another woman and use an abuser.
00:11:34.620 If it's going to be done, let it be done the right way.
00:11:38.940 I mean, that place I find, okay.
00:11:41.500 Obviously, as a female, like even for my wife, it's something that it's not easy because
00:11:45.580 sharing your man, but what Islam does is Islam deals with the pragmatic reality of life.
00:11:49.740 You can imagine as like a Western woman, though, to date like a man like yourself.
00:11:55.140 Can you imagine how hard that is?
00:11:57.400 And like to understand that, particularly on dating apps.
00:12:00.720 Yes.
00:12:01.080 Do you mean like if somebody wanted to marry me?
00:12:03.620 Is that what you mean?
00:12:03.980 No, no, like as in, can you imagine your belief system?
00:12:08.140 Oh, okay, yes.
00:12:09.120 And so, and we have to, sorry, I'm here as like a Westernized, sorry, I'm open to all
00:12:17.440 sorts, but I am here to accept everybody.
00:12:23.800 My daughter is mixed race.
00:12:25.540 Oh, well, okay, yes.
00:12:26.280 Um, but to, to be open to people, we don't know this.
00:12:31.500 So, yeah.
00:12:32.140 How?
00:12:32.620 So, so do you mean it's hard to grasp the idea of this specific thing?
00:12:36.200 Yeah, I don't think we're given enough knowledge of it.
00:12:38.600 It's not, but what it is, is if you think about it, sister, polygamy or polygyny is something
00:12:43.660 that is practiced by non-Muslim men.
00:12:46.060 So, there are so many men who do not follow Islam that do polygyny, but they do it the 0.99
00:12:50.100 wrong way.
00:12:50.820 What Islam does is it says, look, here's protocols to do it the right way. 0.99
00:12:54.620 Because otherwise, what do men do?
00:12:56.420 They go have one night stats, sleep around, have children.
00:13:00.060 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:13:00.920 So, what Islam does, Islam has come to protect the communal rights.
00:13:03.220 So, it says, hold on a second.
00:13:04.220 You can't go and sleep around, have children, abandon them.
00:13:07.080 No, you have to take care of them.
00:13:09.220 You have to marry them. 0.96
00:13:10.360 So, what Islam does is take men to account via polygyny by saying, if it's going to be done, 0.96
00:13:14.600 here's the protocols and it should be done the right way.
00:13:17.040 But so many men do it the wrong way.
00:13:19.320 But is it, is it men that are the problem?
00:13:22.000 It's not a must.
00:13:22.780 No, no, no.
00:13:23.220 It's not a must.
00:13:24.400 Look, it's not...
00:13:24.760 No, but is it men though?
00:13:25.880 Is it men?
00:13:27.180 Like, are you the problem?
00:13:28.940 Are you...
00:13:29.460 I want to say I'm the problem.
00:13:30.120 Yeah, like every, every, like, I'm sorry.
00:13:33.260 Let's call a spade a spade, yeah?
00:13:35.240 Yes, yes.
00:13:35.900 Like, I live my life in peace, yeah?
00:13:38.800 Yes.
00:13:39.220 Like, every now and then, I'd like...
00:13:40.680 Sorry to sound blunt.
00:13:41.620 No, no, please, please.
00:13:42.120 Every now and then, I'd like to have a shower.
00:13:43.920 Like, every now and then.
00:13:45.120 You'd like to have a shag every now and then. 0.82
00:13:47.440 Have intimacy?
00:13:48.520 Intimacy, yeah.
00:13:48.940 With your partner or are you talking about some...
00:13:50.500 Just in general, I'm single.
00:13:51.940 I live my...
00:13:52.680 You know, I live my life single because...
00:13:55.080 I have raised my child.
00:13:57.300 I've dealt with lots of problematic men.
00:14:00.480 But I'm sorry.
00:14:01.400 I've decided to live my life single and free
00:14:03.540 because men are just, right now, a bit too much for me.
00:14:08.160 Good.
00:14:08.360 And I don't blame you.
00:14:09.620 And this is the reason why it's so important to follow a way of life.
00:14:13.220 You know why, sister?
00:14:14.160 You've come across all of these deadbeat men 0.99
00:14:16.400 who have come and given you maybe...
00:14:18.920 I don't know the reality.
00:14:19.720 The false promises may have broken your heart
00:14:21.780 and come into your life and left you.
00:14:23.820 This is why it is so important and pertinent for a man.
00:14:27.340 As a Muslim man, I cannot date.
00:14:30.060 All I do is...
00:14:30.740 It's a serious thing for me.
00:14:31.700 It's marriage or not marriage. 0.72
00:14:33.160 Which means the following.
00:14:34.040 Islam protects your heart
00:14:36.040 because you have had experience with these men
00:14:38.480 who have broken you
00:14:39.680 that you cannot even trust them.
00:14:40.840 And listen, can I tell you right now?
00:14:42.460 Sure, sister.
00:14:42.780 I'm going...
00:14:43.420 So, I am leaving for the UK.
00:14:46.140 I am traveling to meet business partners in Dubai, Abu Dhabi.
00:14:51.620 And mashallah, I believe in what you're saying.
00:14:54.100 I believe in everything.
00:14:55.200 I like the mashallah.
00:14:56.040 Mashallah.
00:14:56.500 My mother looks after some of the most amazing families in Saudi Arabia.
00:15:06.340 But I don't think we can compare them to the shit men
00:15:10.700 of what I'm talking about right now.
00:15:12.920 But what I'm saying is these men, the reason...
00:15:14.500 Excuse my language.
00:15:15.620 I'll call them crap instead of that word.
00:15:17.380 The reason why these men are like that is because society...
00:15:20.040 You see when the core...
00:15:20.820 Islam deals with the core. 0.94
00:15:22.120 Islam tells men to be real men. 0.99
00:15:25.060 Allah tells me in the Quran,
00:15:26.500 tell the believing men to lower his gaze.
00:15:28.960 Meaning, number one, do not sexually objectify women.
00:15:31.240 In today's time, these men watch pornography.
00:15:33.300 Women are sexually objectified. 1.00
00:15:34.780 So, what it does is they dehumanize women 1.00
00:15:37.200 to a state that when they are with you,
00:15:39.860 you don't even know their true intentions.
00:15:41.700 That's the reason why Islam has given a protocol, 1.00
00:15:44.320 argument say,
00:15:45.220 when I met my wife, I had to speak to her father.
00:15:48.120 Why?
00:15:48.700 Because a man knows a man.
00:15:49.940 But God, I respect you for that.
00:15:51.940 But do you know why, sister?
00:15:53.240 You know why?
00:15:53.840 Because, number one, I fear God.
00:15:55.420 Number two, I'm not here to play around.
00:15:57.760 My wife, I had to... 1.00
00:15:59.020 There was a...
00:15:59.680 Like, when I was getting to know her,
00:16:01.020 there was a chaperone.
00:16:02.160 Somebody there.
00:16:02.880 Why?
00:16:03.280 Because Islam gives heavy emphasis 1.00
00:16:05.160 on the protection of one's heart.
00:16:07.040 So, protect her and protect me.
00:16:08.420 Because imagine what happens in today's society.
00:16:10.200 Have casual sex, casual dating.
00:16:12.040 Do you know what that's doing to your soul?
00:16:13.520 You are giving your trust of your body,
00:16:15.600 your heart to a man's hand,
00:16:16.840 or a woman's hand,
00:16:17.540 because there's some woman there as well. 1.00
00:16:18.700 And they're crushing and giving it back to you.
00:16:20.340 Crushing and giving it back to you.
00:16:21.320 So, Islam is saying,
00:16:22.840 no, no dating before marriage.
00:16:25.160 If you are serious,
00:16:26.240 number one, you speak to the father.
00:16:27.540 Number two,
00:16:28.020 there's going to be a chaperone dating, 0.91
00:16:29.480 so you don't take advantage of her.
00:16:30.980 Number three,
00:16:31.680 if you decide to marry her,
00:16:32.720 you need to give her a dowry. 1.00
00:16:34.040 Like, for example,
00:16:34.720 when I married my wife,
00:16:35.720 I provide for everything.
00:16:37.480 Because Islam says... 0.88
00:16:38.620 I'm allowed to.
00:16:38.960 Yes, exactly.
00:16:39.780 So, what that does is,
00:16:41.020 it protects my wife's heart.
00:16:43.140 She doesn't need to think about,
00:16:44.260 oh, is he messing around?
00:16:45.320 Which girl, my wife,
00:16:46.060 look, I have no female friends.
00:16:47.580 I'm not allowed to have female friends. 1.00
00:16:48.900 And my wife,
00:16:49.820 I give access to my phone.
00:16:50.960 You know why?
00:16:51.380 But you should be allowed...
00:16:52.180 No, but that's the whole thing.
00:16:53.500 You should be allowed to have female friends. 1.00
00:16:55.360 Let me tell you why.
00:16:56.200 Because men and women cannot be friends. 1.00
00:16:57.620 There's studies that show this.
00:16:58.500 You know why?
00:16:59.300 The reason why...
00:17:00.060 That's why me and you disagree.
00:17:01.800 Okay, but let's talk about studies.
00:17:03.040 Studies say, sister,
00:17:04.380 a man and a woman,
00:17:05.440 they are created in a way
00:17:06.380 to have attractions to one another.
00:17:06.880 But are you driven by studies?
00:17:09.180 Okay, I'm driven by my religion.
00:17:10.680 I'm just saying studies support that.
00:17:12.320 You know what?
00:17:12.940 Can I give you a really honest opinion
00:17:14.500 from a really honest woman? 0.95
00:17:16.180 Yeah?
00:17:16.320 I've been single for seven years, yeah.
00:17:18.680 I literally went through hell.
00:17:21.960 I'm so sure to hear that.
00:17:22.560 And I met some really nice men along the way.
00:17:25.640 And we...
00:17:26.620 You know what?
00:17:27.580 Also, in the same breath,
00:17:29.160 because I wanted to date,
00:17:30.700 so I put myself on dating apps.
00:17:32.340 So I put myself on...
00:17:33.360 And those apps were hell.
00:17:34.940 Yes, they are.
00:17:35.860 They are awful.
00:17:38.440 They are God's worst work.
00:17:41.040 Yes, yes.
00:17:41.760 And I put myself on them
00:17:43.080 to try and meet somebody.
00:17:44.180 I took myself off them.
00:17:45.240 There's one guy I met,
00:17:47.080 and he was a very kind man.
00:17:49.660 Very kind man.
00:17:50.860 And we speak.
00:17:51.800 And he said...
00:17:52.740 I said,
00:17:53.340 I don't like you as anything more.
00:17:55.240 And he said,
00:17:55.600 Lucy, I will be your dear friend.
00:17:57.880 Okay.
00:17:58.060 And that is all I ask of you.
00:18:00.080 Okay.
00:18:00.280 And we've remained good friends.
00:18:01.680 Okay.
00:18:02.400 That's a...
00:18:03.100 I would say that's an anomaly.
00:18:04.360 That can happen.
00:18:04.920 I would never say it can't happen.
00:18:06.260 With Islam,
00:18:06.980 we deal with prevention is better than cure.
00:18:09.400 Because men and women have that attraction to one another,
00:18:12.440 it's to protect myself and protect...
00:18:14.180 Because you know why?
00:18:15.040 Everyone has a propensity to cheat.
00:18:17.040 It's if you put yourself in certain environments.
00:18:19.280 Do you get it?
00:18:19.620 Now, you might call that a friend's sister.
00:18:21.400 For argument's sake,
00:18:22.200 one day he drops you home,
00:18:23.580 you have a drink,
00:18:24.540 something...
00:18:25.000 So what Islam says,
00:18:25.780 Islam says,
00:18:26.180 look,
00:18:26.540 let's deal with the evil by preventing it,
00:18:28.220 rather than doing it,
00:18:29.000 and then going looking for a cure.
00:18:30.320 So to me,
00:18:30.800 I have no female friends.
00:18:31.820 Number one,
00:18:32.160 because my religion says it.
00:18:33.140 And number two,
00:18:33.920 my wife wouldn't appreciate it. 1.00
00:18:35.060 And I don't have that.
00:18:35.600 I don't even shake the hands of the opposite gender. 1.00
00:18:37.700 And even when I'm speaking to them,
00:18:38.720 if you notice,
00:18:39.160 I call them sister.
00:18:40.260 Why?
00:18:40.420 Because I don't want them to have the idea
00:18:41.740 that I'm trying to,
00:18:42.460 you know,
00:18:42.740 maybe chirp them or something.
00:18:44.320 So to me,
00:18:44.820 why?
00:18:49.620 So these things are there in places that you know why?
00:18:51.620 Because society says what?
00:18:53.180 Have friends,
00:18:53.840 have a casual drink,
00:18:54.640 have this,
00:18:55.060 but they all lead to atrocities
00:18:56.700 in the sense where
00:18:57.580 you're destroying your soul.
00:18:59.440 You shouldn't be
00:19:00.280 having this experience with these men
00:19:01.860 who have treated you in this manner.
00:19:03.860 Of course.
00:19:04.520 Do you get it?
00:19:04.820 But I also think,
00:19:05.660 I also think that you are allowed
00:19:07.760 as a human being
00:19:09.320 against your religion 0.99
00:19:10.960 to have a relationship with men or women
00:19:14.060 and you should walk free on this earth.
00:19:16.520 Okay.
00:19:16.840 And you should,
00:19:18.220 you should,
00:19:19.060 you know,
00:19:19.760 I'd like to walk into my friend's house
00:19:21.640 who's a man
00:19:22.500 or a woman
00:19:23.760 and eat bread.
00:19:25.900 Okay, good.
00:19:26.340 But you know what this is,
00:19:27.160 I'm a man.
00:19:28.520 I know how men can think.
00:19:30.500 And a lot of the time,
00:19:31.340 So are you,
00:19:32.020 but you're judging your own mind.
00:19:34.860 I know myself.
00:19:36.020 Yes, I know myself.
00:19:36.960 You know why?
00:19:37.440 But is that,
00:19:38.040 so is that the Quran's mind?
00:19:39.520 No, no, no, no.
00:19:40.020 That's me as a man,
00:19:41.000 how God has created me.
00:19:41.960 Like for example,
00:19:43.200 let me put it like this.
00:19:44.200 For example,
00:19:44.980 you're a woman
00:19:45.880 and you know how a woman could be. 0.99
00:19:47.300 Correct?
00:19:47.480 Correct.
00:19:49.060 You're a female. 1.00
00:19:52.120 So for example,
00:19:52.580 imagine you have a husband
00:19:53.380 and your husband says
00:19:54.160 there's this work colleague
00:19:55.200 at work,
00:19:56.140 yeah,
00:19:56.540 as a woman.
00:19:57.280 So imagine,
00:19:58.560 you see them a little bit close.
00:20:00.920 They're friends,
00:20:01.260 she says,
00:20:01.460 I'm a friend.
00:20:02.160 As a woman,
00:20:02.780 would you not think,
00:20:03.340 hold on a second,
00:20:03.880 I know how some woman 1.00
00:20:06.900 could want to grab another man 0.99
00:20:08.460 from his family.
00:20:09.820 So you would put yourself
00:20:11.120 in that woman's shoe 1.00
00:20:11.720 and say,
00:20:12.260 I have the propensity to do
00:20:13.880 that,
00:20:14.100 not that I would,
00:20:15.040 she may do.
00:20:16.200 So what Islam does, 0.96
00:20:17.240 Islam says,
00:20:17.680 listen,
00:20:18.340 those things can happen,
00:20:19.780 it's better
00:20:20.460 that there is no friendship.
00:20:22.560 Now for example,
00:20:23.120 I'm talking to you.
00:20:24.000 However,
00:20:24.340 I have no female friends 0.99
00:20:25.700 which are talking,
00:20:26.100 I have no need
00:20:27.180 to talk to them
00:20:28.220 in no way,
00:20:28.840 shape or form.
00:20:29.700 And let me tell you why.
00:20:30.500 For example,
00:20:31.340 casino.
00:20:31.960 Do you believe casino
00:20:32.600 is a good place
00:20:33.060 or a bad place?
00:20:34.440 I don't really give a shit.
00:20:35.620 Well,
00:20:35.820 it destroys people's lives.
00:20:37.080 Well,
00:20:37.300 it destroys people's lives.
00:20:38.180 No,
00:20:38.320 I mean like,
00:20:38.900 I'd go there for a joke
00:20:40.620 and one is.
00:20:41.160 Exactly,
00:20:41.580 but you know some jokes
00:20:42.660 that go in there,
00:20:43.380 there's one man
00:20:43.880 that I was watching
00:20:44.260 a documentary,
00:20:45.200 he was about to take his life
00:20:46.240 because he lost
00:20:46.760 hundreds of thousands of pounds
00:20:48.800 just by one slot.
00:20:50.700 There are people
00:20:51.160 who have become alcoholics
00:20:52.120 with one cup.
00:20:53.200 Of course,
00:20:53.780 but you have to look
00:20:54.360 at the trauma though,
00:20:55.580 don't you?
00:20:55.780 True sister,
00:20:56.300 but what I'm saying is,
00:20:56.980 Islam says,
00:20:57.740 if that one cup
00:20:58.520 is going to make you
00:20:59.120 a drunkard,
00:21:01.640 it's going to turn you
00:21:02.080 into a gambling addict
00:21:02.740 and you're going to spend
00:21:03.380 your children's money
00:21:04.180 on gambling,
00:21:05.000 don't do it.
00:21:05.880 If that friend
00:21:06.860 that you're going to have
00:21:07.560 is going to cause you
00:21:08.180 to commit adultery,
00:21:09.260 it's better not to do it.
00:21:10.460 And if you have,
00:21:11.020 do you have children,
00:21:11.900 right?
00:21:12.300 One child.
00:21:12.920 Okay,
00:21:13.160 imagine your child says,
00:21:14.320 I want to try cocaine.
00:21:16.860 Do you see that reaction?
00:21:17.960 Because you care about them
00:21:18.920 and guess what God's reaction
00:21:19.960 is for you?
00:21:20.660 Because God cares about you.
00:21:22.060 Things that are going
00:21:22.700 to ruin you,
00:21:23.200 he says no.
00:21:23.880 Just the way your child,
00:21:24.860 he says,
00:21:25.000 but mom,
00:21:25.440 I want to be free.
00:21:26.660 Let me just try cocaine.
00:21:27.520 You say no,
00:21:28.140 it will ruin your life.
00:21:31.640 So he's saying
00:21:32.960 these things don't do it.
00:21:34.480 Thank you.
00:21:35.400 Can I tell you,
00:21:36.640 thank you,
00:21:37.100 because tonight
00:21:37.700 my partner dies.
00:21:40.140 He died.
00:21:41.220 He died two weeks ago.
00:21:43.000 Tomorrow is his funeral.
00:21:44.420 Sorry, Taylor.
00:21:44.920 Is this your ex-husband?
00:21:46.580 He's my ex-partner.
00:21:48.200 He's 45.
00:21:49.560 Yeah.
00:21:49.920 And his funeral
00:21:50.960 is tomorrow at 12 noon.
00:21:52.660 Sorry, Taylor.
00:21:53.320 So I hope you can pray for him
00:21:55.740 because I pray for him
00:21:57.380 because his body,
00:21:58.800 he's not a rested soul.
00:22:01.680 So whatever religion
00:22:02.560 you believe in,
00:22:03.440 I hope that we can,
00:22:04.760 as a Christian,
00:22:06.480 as a Muslim,
00:22:07.620 I hope that we,
00:22:08.600 like,
00:22:08.960 maybe we can say a prayer.
00:22:11.000 Yeah, I mean,
00:22:11.780 I'm sorry to hear.
00:22:12.840 Like, I just,
00:22:13.260 we hope,
00:22:13.600 like, we believe that
00:22:14.260 God is the most just
00:22:15.040 and God will never punish
00:22:16.380 a soul unjustly
00:22:17.260 and we believe
00:22:18.200 God will never ever,
00:22:19.380 if he was a man
00:22:20.080 who didn't hear about Islam,
00:22:21.140 we even believe
00:22:21.680 he has a chance
00:22:22.520 of entering paradise.
00:22:23.980 So we believe
00:22:24.900 God is the most just.
00:22:25.580 Let's maybe ask him.
00:22:27.260 Raymond Joe.
00:22:31.020 Please pass to paradise.
00:22:32.680 You're here with us.
00:22:34.500 You choose your path.
00:22:37.840 I am here with you.
00:22:42.020 You choose your path
00:22:43.400 with the God of paradise.
00:22:48.900 God rest your soul.
00:22:51.320 And I rest your soul.
00:22:54.940 He was between the both of us.
00:22:56.680 Yeah, I'm really sorry
00:22:57.340 to hear from you last time.
00:22:57.920 That's okay.
00:22:58.760 Thank you.
00:22:59.200 It was lovely talking to you.
00:23:00.520 We're here every Friday
00:23:01.360 and Sunday.
00:23:01.840 What a deep message.
00:23:02.620 It was, it was, it was.
00:23:03.420 And things don't happen
00:23:04.100 for no reason.
00:23:05.120 Have you read the Quran before?
00:23:07.020 No, but I would not.
00:23:08.020 Can I give you a free copy?
00:23:08.960 Can I read that?
00:23:09.980 Yeah, yeah.
00:23:10.480 Yes, yes, yes.
00:23:11.120 It's a free copy for you.
00:23:11.960 And I'll give you one more gift.
00:23:13.520 If you ever feel
00:23:14.480 like there's no way out,
00:23:16.020 this is a prayer mat.
00:23:16.900 It teaches you how to pray.
00:23:18.320 Put it in front
00:23:19.000 and maybe one day
00:23:20.440 it might be useful to you.
00:23:21.500 It has like a,
00:23:22.020 it shows how we Muslims pray.
00:23:23.720 So I know you say
00:23:24.200 you're a Buddhist, etc.
00:23:25.060 You're spiritual.
00:23:26.360 What's your name?
00:23:27.340 Ali.
00:23:28.040 Ali.
00:23:28.460 Yes, yes.
00:23:29.260 Nice to meet you, sister.
00:23:29.900 If you remember,
00:23:30.320 the fist bump.
00:23:32.360 If you look at the tip,
00:23:33.480 sorry.
00:23:34.460 There we go.
00:23:35.260 Yes.
00:23:36.320 It's been really hard for me
00:23:37.620 these past couple of days.
00:23:38.840 I'm so sorry to hear that.
00:23:39.620 And that's why maybe
00:23:40.260 God sent you here for a reason.
00:23:41.840 And I really feel that.
00:23:42.940 Yes.
00:23:43.740 Thank you, sister.
00:23:44.480 We're here every Friday and Sunday
00:23:45.440 if you want to come and talk more.
00:23:46.720 If you're going through anything,
00:23:47.560 we're here for you.
00:23:48.900 Yeah.
00:23:49.520 And yes,
00:23:50.580 we ask Allah to,
00:23:51.580 inshaAllah,
00:23:51.900 guide you to the right path.
00:23:53.820 I'm off to Abu Dhabi.
00:23:56.300 Oh, fantastic.
00:23:57.120 And Saudi. 0.68
00:23:58.480 Oh, wow.
00:23:59.420 When is that?
00:24:01.120 September.
00:24:01.620 I've got three of the continents
00:24:03.260 I'm going to.
00:24:03.920 You know what?
00:24:04.260 There's a reason
00:24:04.800 God is sending you
00:24:05.680 to the Islamic lands.
00:24:06.780 Suddenly, I feel this.
00:24:08.440 That's good.
00:24:09.020 We will pray for you.
00:24:10.040 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00
00:24:10.840 guide you, inshaAllah, sister.
00:24:12.180 Thank you.
00:24:12.520 Take care, sister.
00:24:12.980 Inshallah.
00:24:14.080 Inshallah.
00:24:15.000 Inshallah.
00:24:15.400 Thank you.
00:24:15.720 Thank you.