Ali Dawah - MEN GUESS WHAT WOMAN WANT IN A HUSBAND？ - EP 24 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

00:00:00.000 Yeah, why is this a girl saying?

00:00:03.600 It is what it is.

00:00:05.320 Okay, they want good looks. 1.00

00:00:07.440 Read the Quran.

00:00:08.840 I'm not joking.

00:00:09.820 Read the Quran, specifically the ayahs 0.99

00:00:12.240 where Allah is talking about marriage. 0.78

00:00:13.500 It's so easy, it's very easy and very easy to understand.

00:00:16.460 I think it's the majority of women. 1.00

00:00:17.480 There are obviously, you know,

00:00:18.420 one in ten women who don't look for materialistic things. 1.00

00:00:20.820 And to be honest, I don't always blame them either.

00:00:22.880 You know, with the way some people have been brought up,

00:00:25.180 their parents have been telling them,

00:00:26.040 this is what you need in a man.

00:00:27.260 From the Western standard,

00:00:28.560 we would be seen as gold diggers.

00:00:30.400 But listen, this is our right, yeah?

00:00:32.460 This is our right given to us by Allah.

00:00:34.120 So who are you to say that?

00:00:35.320 But it's an issue of tawheed

00:00:36.120 because Allah is the one that gives. 0.88

00:00:37.760 Do you know what I'm trying to say?

00:00:38.280 For you to think that if that person, for example,

00:00:40.620 oh, are you wealthy?

00:00:41.080 Yes, yes, yes.

00:00:41.620 How do you know that man is going to lose his money?

00:00:42.940 And how do you know he's going to make you happy?

00:00:44.380 A leader meaning someone who will lead me,

00:00:46.920 someone who I can trust

00:00:47.780 and I'll respect your decisions

00:00:49.460 and I'll let you do your thing

00:00:51.080 and I'll go with the flow.

00:00:52.280 We do centre ourselves a lot around beauty.

00:00:54.840 So we want that to be seen.

00:00:56.580 And I feel like when that is missed out

00:00:59.000 in a marriage,

00:01:00.500 it can bring down the female morale. 1.00

00:01:03.040 Again, obedience.

00:01:04.600 And what I mean by that is like,

00:01:05.760 he's just a genuinely obedient man

00:01:07.480 to his role and to his God.

00:01:09.500 And I didn't realise in the moment

00:01:11.020 that actually, you know what?

00:01:12.000 I didn't fully deep.

00:01:12.840 This was from Allah to me.

00:01:14.040 Of course.

00:01:14.620 You see?

00:01:15.020 And he took it from me to humble me

00:01:16.440 and to show me,

00:01:17.140 look, this was never you in the first place.

00:01:18.660 Exactly.

00:01:19.020 It was from me.

00:01:19.720 As a man,

00:01:20.560 if you were to be put in that position

00:01:21.660 where your daughter

00:01:22.420 is looking for a husband,

00:01:25.900 you would make sure

00:01:26.500 that man takes care of your daughter. 0.98

00:01:28.260 So why wouldn't you do that

00:01:29.160 for somebody else's daughter

00:01:30.080 that you've just married?

00:01:31.640 Specifically,

00:01:32.740 how do you treat me

00:01:34.180 when you're angry?

00:01:35.280 How are you going to treat me

00:01:36.160 if you've just had a disagreement?

00:01:38.220 Just in your tone of voice,

00:01:39.260 it should be in your tone of voice

00:01:40.060 every time you speak

00:01:40.680 because even if you speak harshly

00:01:42.880 at a time,

00:01:43.860 the woman can build resentment 1.00

00:01:45.320 against you.

00:01:46.740 Personally,

00:01:47.040 I feel men are more dishonest 1.00

00:01:48.300 than women 0.99

00:01:48.740 and I feel like

00:01:50.220 that is a projection

00:01:50.920 because they are aware

00:01:51.960 of being dishonest.

00:01:54.120 They think that's what

00:01:54.920 we're looking for.

00:01:56.060 There is this magnetic aura

00:01:57.600 that even they can't put it into words.

00:01:59.320 That's why I don't waste my time

00:01:59.960 asking them,

00:02:00.320 what do you want?

00:02:00.620 I don't care.

00:02:01.300 I already know what you want.

00:02:02.420 I know what you want.

00:02:03.120 Okay, what is it what they want?

00:02:03.820 Tell us.

00:02:05.240 Honestly, I've written well.

00:02:06.100 Talk to you!

00:02:07.720 The thing that women 1.00

00:02:08.480 complain about the most

00:02:09.280 is the compassion things

00:02:10.140 and they didn't put that down.

00:02:11.280 Yeah.

00:02:11.820 Yeah.

00:02:12.200 It's so crazy.

00:02:12.960 I feel like this is probably

00:02:13.860 the biggest issue that we face

00:02:15.220 is not feeling like

00:02:15.960 we're getting enough compassion

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00:02:57.520 Enjoy.

00:02:58.460 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

00:02:59.920 brothers and sisters and dear friends.

00:03:01.080 Hope you guys are well inshallah.

00:03:02.040 Welcome to another episode

00:03:03.000 of The Bitter Truth Show.

00:03:04.160 We are looking for new panel guests

00:03:06.000 inshallah.

00:03:06.920 If you want to get involved,

00:03:07.880 you can apply at

00:03:08.900 thebittertruthshow at gmail.com.

00:03:11.500 We are looking for new guests

00:03:12.520 and panelists inshallah.

00:03:13.600 You can apply there.

00:03:15.240 And we film usually once a month.

00:03:17.560 So please inshallah,

00:03:18.520 if you want to join us,

00:03:19.780 you can.

00:03:20.680 But let's get inshallah straight into it.

00:03:21.980 Today's topic is a little bit...

00:03:23.520 So we're doing it in a different way

00:03:24.480 where we are going to be inshallah

00:03:25.960 reacting...

00:03:27.660 Well, we've done the reaction,

00:03:28.900 but we're going to be inshallah

00:03:29.700 getting the sisters to react

00:03:30.660 to our results.

00:03:31.660 So the topic at hand is

00:03:32.740 what do we as men believe

00:03:35.300 women look for in a husband? 1.00

00:03:37.420 So this can be four to five

00:03:39.040 specific things.

00:03:41.060 So as men,

00:03:42.080 what is our assumptions?

00:03:43.220 What do we think

00:03:44.040 women look for? 1.00

00:03:45.060 I'm going to be the one

00:03:45.820 who's going to be writing these down.

00:03:46.960 I'm going to leave the floor

00:03:47.620 to you guys.

00:03:48.620 So let's start off with

00:03:49.860 you Aki, inshallah.

00:03:51.000 What do you think?

00:03:51.920 Tell me the top three.

00:03:53.120 Let's discuss the top three.

00:03:54.400 Then we'll slowly narrow it down,

00:03:55.720 inshallah, yeah?

00:03:56.200 So tell me what you believe

00:03:58.080 the top three things

00:03:59.460 a woman looks for in a man. 1.00

00:04:03.020 I think that...

00:04:05.420 There is a general conception

00:04:09.780 that women are looking for men 0.99

00:04:11.780 that are wealthy and established

00:04:14.440 and all of that.

00:04:15.660 But I think that at the very core,

00:04:19.940 what a woman wants 1.00

00:04:22.360 more than anything else

00:04:24.500 is honesty.

00:04:26.480 I think that core value

00:04:28.100 is that if he doesn't have that,

00:04:31.480 if he's dishonest,

00:04:32.800 then that means

00:04:34.780 that she can't trust him,

00:04:36.720 which means that

00:04:37.960 her other ideas of security

00:04:40.420 will never come into play

00:04:41.680 because at her core,

00:04:44.120 she can't trust him.

00:04:45.660 Therefore,

00:04:46.500 how are you ever going to have security?

00:04:48.520 If there is wealth,

00:04:50.160 she won't know

00:04:51.320 whether it's going to come to her or not

00:04:53.300 or whether it's going to go anywhere else

00:04:55.140 because he's dishonest. 0.87

00:04:56.980 So whether they know it or not,

00:04:59.020 at her very core,

00:05:00.760 what a woman wants. 1.00

00:05:01.600 And I'm assuming

00:05:02.880 and basing this

00:05:03.720 on women in general

00:05:04.900 being honest,

00:05:05.920 righteous and so on.

00:05:06.640 But if she doesn't want

00:05:08.920 a man that is honest,

00:05:11.860 then that may be a reflection on her.

00:05:13.780 But I think in general,

00:05:15.080 that would be a core principle

00:05:16.620 that a woman will want. 0.99

00:05:18.180 Okay.

00:05:18.580 Honestly?

00:05:19.720 Yeah.

00:05:20.360 I'm going to say the basic thing.

00:05:21.600 I do think it's wealth.

00:05:22.520 I think that's what most women look for 1.00

00:05:24.080 in a man.

00:05:25.960 You know,

00:05:26.620 I've been on dates.

00:05:28.980 Halal ones. 0.98

00:05:29.580 Halal, of course. 0.98

00:05:30.240 Halal, the public ones. 1.00

00:05:31.600 Yeah, of course.

00:05:32.700 I'd never do that to myself.

00:05:34.160 Never.

00:05:34.860 That's what Allah said.

00:05:35.880 You're not wrong yourself.

00:05:37.160 Exactly.

00:05:37.760 All right.

00:05:38.140 So, yeah, wealth is,

00:05:39.340 I think that's the primary sort of factor

00:05:41.180 for most women 0.95

00:05:41.920 when they're seeking a potential spouse.

00:05:44.740 First few questions I always get is,

00:05:46.800 what do I do for work?

00:05:47.720 What car I drive?

00:05:48.640 How much do I earn?

00:05:49.620 Allah protects you from these people.

00:05:50.720 That's why you're not married now.

00:05:51.580 You know, if you think about it,

00:05:52.480 it's actually Allah is protecting you

00:05:53.800 from these individuals

00:05:54.860 who the first thing they ask you

00:05:55.940 is about that.

00:05:57.000 I think it's the majority of women. 1.00

00:05:58.520 There are obviously,

00:05:59.280 you know,

00:05:59.660 one in 10 women 1.00

00:06:00.460 who don't look for materialistic things.

00:06:02.800 And to be honest,

00:06:03.580 I don't always blame them either.

00:06:05.080 You know,

00:06:05.540 with the way some people

00:06:07.280 have been brought up,

00:06:08.180 their parents have been telling them,

00:06:09.220 this is what you need in a man.

00:06:10.820 You need,

00:06:11.580 with like,

00:06:12.400 safety comes with wealth.

00:06:14.520 You need this

00:06:15.200 for an established background.

00:06:16.660 You can raise a family with wealth.

00:06:18.120 You can't do that

00:06:18.800 if you're poor.

00:06:19.520 So I'm not saying,

00:06:20.260 you know,

00:06:20.780 it's all women's fault. 1.00

00:06:21.940 I'm just saying,

00:06:22.460 this is how it is.

00:06:23.320 This is what I've experienced

00:06:24.600 and what I've seen others experience.

00:06:26.380 So that's interesting

00:06:27.200 because,

00:06:27.760 like you said,

00:06:29.440 but the issue at hand is,

00:06:30.600 it's very bizarre

00:06:31.380 because it's like,

00:06:31.900 we're putting our trust

00:06:32.580 in material things.

00:06:34.060 You can have an individual

00:06:34.760 who's a millionaire

00:06:35.240 who can become poor.

00:06:36.280 You can have somebody

00:06:36.820 who's got nothing.

00:06:37.640 Do you get it?

00:06:38.200 So this is actually

00:06:39.260 an issue of Tawheed.

00:06:40.740 And I'm not going to say Shirk,

00:06:42.360 but it's an issue of Tawheed

00:06:43.360 because Allah is the one

00:06:44.480 that gives.

00:06:45.380 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:06:46.040 For you to think

00:06:47.080 that if that person,

00:06:48.580 for example,

00:06:48.980 oh, are you wealthy?

00:06:49.560 Yes, yes, yes.

00:06:51.780 And Hajim is going to make you happy.

00:06:53.400 Do you get it?

00:06:53.860 Do you see our trust lie?

00:06:54.780 Instead of having trust

00:06:55.420 in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:06:56.160 and having tawakal in Him,

00:06:57.420 our trust is more

00:06:58.600 in the individual

00:07:00.140 and what He has to offer.

00:07:01.440 It's a sad reality.

00:07:02.200 Both are different topics.

00:07:03.680 Mahdi,

00:07:04.360 so what would you say

00:07:05.160 a woman looks for? 1.00

00:07:06.240 Tell me three things.

00:07:07.380 I would say,

00:07:07.800 if you don't mind,

00:07:08.240 before I answer that,

00:07:08.900 Akh Ali.

00:07:09.900 Akh Mahdi,

00:07:10.980 these women that you have met

00:07:12.520 who have said to you,

00:07:13.780 what do you drive and so on,

00:07:15.280 where,

00:07:15.740 what environment

00:07:16.580 do you meet

00:07:17.740 the majority of these women? 1.00

00:07:19.300 Where are you coming

00:07:20.100 across these women?

00:07:20.780 Is it apps or real life?

00:07:22.020 It's both mutual,

00:07:23.180 mutual,

00:07:23.560 I've met them from mutual friends

00:07:24.660 and apps as well.

00:07:25.440 I've met them in person.

00:07:26.680 What type of circles

00:07:27.600 are these women rolling in? 1.00

00:07:29.140 Are they,

00:07:29.460 would you consider them

00:07:30.140 as practicing Muslimers?

00:07:31.300 It's a mix of both.

00:07:32.580 But what's the majority?

00:07:33.800 Majority,

00:07:34.840 so the consensus is,

00:07:36.460 it's normally they say

00:07:37.140 they try and practice.

00:07:38.480 I don't want to make assumptions,

00:07:39.580 but they say,

00:07:40.060 you know,

00:07:40.240 they try their best essentially.

00:07:41.360 So if you're fishing

00:07:41.960 in that pond,

00:07:42.780 then definitely

00:07:43.440 that's going to be

00:07:44.620 what they tell you.

00:07:45.700 It all comes down to

00:07:46.720 what pond are you fishing in?

00:07:48.160 If you're fishing in,

00:07:48.880 and I have to make

00:07:49.740 this clarification

00:07:50.240 because I don't want

00:07:51.020 the young men watching

00:07:51.780 to mistakenly believe

00:07:53.600 that all women 0.95

00:07:55.440 are looking for your,

00:07:56.740 it's a metric

00:07:58.340 that is important.

00:08:00.060 But I would say

00:08:00.700 that's why it's the majority.

00:08:02.740 And I do think

00:08:03.460 practicing women

00:08:04.080 who don't look

00:08:04.600 for materialistic things

00:08:05.660 like money,

00:08:06.400 cars,

00:08:06.820 houses,

00:08:07.620 I think it's a minority nowadays.

00:08:08.800 There's nothing wrong

00:08:09.440 with women looking 0.99

00:08:10.040 for materialistic things.

00:08:10.980 She should look

00:08:11.680 for materialistic things.

00:08:12.360 I'm just saying

00:08:13.080 that's just how it is.

00:08:14.300 That's what I've experienced.

00:08:14.920 Here's the definition

00:08:15.620 of materialism

00:08:16.240 because materialism,

00:08:16.980 if you're talking about

00:08:17.820 Mahdi,

00:08:18.340 a provider,

00:08:18.900 protector,

00:08:19.320 which is like,

00:08:19.700 okay,

00:08:20.260 he's talking about

00:08:20.960 people who are like,

00:08:21.640 what car you drive,

00:08:22.300 how much you earn a year.

00:08:23.980 He's talking about the,

00:08:25.240 what you said,

00:08:25.800 the pond that he's going,

00:08:27.560 or comes across whatever,

00:08:29.220 it's just materialism.

00:08:31.120 He's not talking about

00:08:31.700 a woman who's like, 0.99

00:08:32.420 I want security

00:08:32.960 because in her nature,

00:08:34.140 she wants security.

00:08:35.160 He's not talking about,

00:08:35.920 he's talking about somebody

00:08:36.700 who is like,

00:08:37.260 wealth,

00:08:37.620 wealth,

00:08:37.900 what car do you drive?

00:08:39.200 What does that mean?

00:08:40.320 You know,

00:08:40.560 when I met my wife,

00:08:41.240 I was driving a Toyota Prius

00:08:42.060 that didn't belong to me,

00:08:42.700 I was in Uber.

00:08:43.480 So do you get me trying to see?

00:08:44.640 If my wife, 0.99

00:08:45.680 like,

00:08:46.000 asked me that question,

00:08:46.820 I'd be like,

00:08:47.220 what does it matter?

00:08:48.740 I think that's what

00:08:49.160 he's talking about.

00:08:49.640 What do you think?

00:08:50.260 Yeah,

00:08:50.440 I would say,

00:08:50.980 if it all depends

00:08:52.020 on the pond

00:08:52.420 that you're fishing in,

00:08:53.240 if you're fishing in a pond

00:08:55.400 where the sisters

00:08:56.100 are a bit 50-50

00:08:57.100 on her iman,

00:08:58.020 and she's young,

00:08:58.720 I'm assuming they're young as well,

00:08:59.740 your age demographic,

00:09:01.340 you know,

00:09:01.540 late teens,

00:09:06.700 and she's from the TikTok generation,

00:09:07.980 exactly as you said,

00:09:08.720 basically,

00:09:09.180 then yeah,

00:09:09.520 you are going to get that answer.

00:09:11.080 And I would definitely recommend

00:09:12.580 you fish in a different pond

00:09:14.080 because there are many different ponds.

00:09:16.140 Once you just zoom out

00:09:17.160 of that pond

00:09:18.140 and you see,

00:09:18.760 oh wait,

00:09:19.100 okay,

00:09:19.280 there are sisters

00:09:19.940 in different ponds

00:09:21.180 who would be willing

00:09:22.220 to seriously consider me

00:09:24.360 despite the fact

00:09:24.980 that I might not be rich

00:09:25.920 or whatever.

00:09:26.580 There's an overemphasis on wealth.

00:09:28.400 There really is.

00:09:29.020 Yeah,

00:09:29.200 of course there is.

00:09:29.980 So you're saying

00:09:30.620 everyone experienced bias,

00:09:31.700 essentially.

00:09:32.600 Experienced bias.

00:09:33.380 Right,

00:09:33.700 okay.

00:09:34.000 So you wouldn't say

00:09:35.060 most women, 0.99

00:09:35.760 they don't find

00:09:36.880 wealth attractive.

00:09:37.980 Of all women

00:09:38.620 find wealth attractive.

00:09:39.640 Would you say

00:09:40.220 that it's one of

00:09:41.080 their highest priorities

00:09:41.920 when finding a spouse?

00:09:43.180 The less she rates you,

00:09:44.340 one of the top.

00:09:45.000 The less she rates you,

00:09:46.180 the more she will 0.98

00:09:46.820 want to milk you.

00:09:47.940 Okay.

00:09:48.540 So the less she is 0.97

00:09:49.940 attracted to you

00:09:50.940 as an individual,

00:09:52.060 the more she will 0.98

00:09:52.840 place emphasis,

00:09:53.540 I'm not saying you now per se,

00:09:54.960 I don't think I'm

00:09:55.340 throwing you under the bus here,

00:09:56.040 I'm not,

00:09:56.240 but a general person.

00:09:58.360 The less she is 1.00

00:09:59.040 actually genuinely

00:10:00.360 interested in that individual,

00:10:02.040 the more of an emphasis

00:10:03.460 she will have on money. 0.98

00:10:04.600 It's like,

00:10:05.280 I don't really like this guy,

00:10:06.220 but you know what,

00:10:06.760 he is rich.

00:10:06.980 Other things to weigh up.

00:10:08.140 That's why old Russian 1.00

00:10:09.400 billionaires have these

00:10:10.420 young supermodels.

00:10:11.720 The thing is,

00:10:12.340 it's a very important thing,

00:10:13.440 if she's not attractive to you,

00:10:15.700 she will look for other things.

00:10:16.800 If she's attractive to you,

00:10:17.700 it doesn't matter,

00:10:18.280 you can be cleaning toilets

00:10:19.820 and she'll still have that

00:10:22.060 attraction towards you.

00:10:22.740 This is the problem I think

00:10:23.680 men face as well.

00:10:24.900 So women may look for money, 1.00

00:10:26.840 majority of women do, 0.98

00:10:28.380 but men will look for looks.

00:10:30.360 So men will be okay with 0.99

00:10:31.520 these good looking women 1.00

00:10:32.660 looking for money,

00:10:33.780 they know they can provide it

00:10:34.760 and they'll go based of looks.

00:10:36.260 So it's all materialistic

00:10:37.300 essentially, isn't it?

00:10:38.220 I know a lot of men

00:10:39.540 who have gone purely on looks.

00:10:42.400 Because they can afford it

00:10:43.740 essentially,

00:10:43.980 there's a price on looks.

00:10:45.240 That's why if we go to

00:10:46.840 that specific point

00:10:47.620 that we're talking about,

00:10:48.340 that's why it's transactional.

00:10:49.840 It's women, wealth, 1.00

00:10:51.380 for a man it's looks.

00:10:52.600 It's transactional.

00:10:53.380 What do you offer me,

00:10:53.920 what do you offer me?

00:10:54.400 It's supply and demand

00:10:55.940 in that sense.

00:10:56.740 And for a woman

00:10:57.100 it's like an insurance policy.

00:10:58.280 Like you said,

00:10:58.940 the less I'm attracted to you,

00:11:00.380 the more your money

00:11:01.320 is going to be

00:11:01.680 an insurance policy for me.

00:11:02.840 It's like an accident.

00:11:04.040 Yeah, I'm going to be covered here.

00:11:05.320 So that's what they do for it.

00:11:06.300 A woman is, 0.98

00:11:07.500 it's like that.

00:11:08.220 But, so wealth,

00:11:09.940 I believe, yes,

00:11:10.840 in the,

00:11:12.320 like I always say,

00:11:13.440 every man is polygamous by nature.

00:11:14.740 For a woman,

00:11:15.460 they have those luxuries 0.85

00:11:16.500 of the dunya.

00:11:17.200 They like it.

00:11:18.080 And if you think about it,

00:11:18.720 that's what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.98

00:11:19.480 doesn't go into details

00:11:20.220 of what a woman's going to get 1.00

00:11:21.100 in the hereafter

00:11:21.640 because they'll be upset

00:11:22.820 if Allah said

00:11:23.240 you're going to get a palace

00:11:23.840 with 55 bedrooms

00:11:25.200 and four jacuzis.

00:11:26.400 They'll say,

00:11:26.580 but why not 56?

00:11:27.520 So Allah doesn't go into the details 0.99

00:11:29.120 of what a woman's going to get 1.00

00:11:30.180 and leaves it to their imagination.

00:11:31.460 For us men,

00:11:31.880 it's very simple.

00:11:32.640 Hora Lane,

00:11:33.720 rivers of milk,

00:11:34.900 this that I'm like,

00:11:35.420 yeah, alhamdulillah,

00:11:35.900 I'm happy to get it.

00:11:36.920 But, so wealth,

00:11:38.280 I've written here,

00:11:40.240 honesty,

00:11:41.320 wealth,

00:11:42.120 they look for Mahdi.

00:11:43.280 What else?

00:11:43.980 So, I would say,

00:11:45.160 this question of what

00:11:46.240 are women looking for 0.99

00:11:47.300 in a man,

00:11:47.700 and again,

00:11:48.240 I hate to repeat

00:11:49.020 what I mentioned

00:11:49.620 on the last episode,

00:11:50.480 but there will be new viewers

00:11:51.680 who didn't watch

00:11:52.180 the last episode

00:11:52.720 who don't know

00:11:53.300 my personal situation.

00:11:54.800 I'm not talking

00:11:55.540 on my backside. 0.55

00:11:56.140 I'm sorry to bore you,

00:11:57.160 gentlemen,

00:11:57.700 but for the new viewers

00:11:58.500 who are watching,

00:11:59.660 and again,

00:12:00.420 I will preface

00:12:01.100 what I'm about to say,

00:12:01.980 any good I have

00:12:02.640 is from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:12:04.200 I'm not,

00:12:04.660 it's not a quote

00:12:05.420 of self-amazement.

00:12:06.320 None of this,

00:12:06.600 he can take it from me

00:12:07.400 as quickly as he gave it to me.

00:12:09.060 And I'm sorry

00:12:09.500 to bore you, gentlemen.

00:12:10.440 But I've been married

00:12:11.220 for nearly two decades.

00:12:12.240 I have multiple wives,

00:12:13.180 many children,

00:12:14.100 11 in total,

00:12:15.000 including the orphans.

00:12:16.780 And,

00:12:18.100 I have,

00:12:18.460 alhamdulillah,

00:12:19.040 I have too many women, 1.00

00:12:20.460 it's too much,

00:12:22.660 it's becoming even,

00:12:23.500 it's too much.

00:12:25.280 And the men

00:12:25.940 who have the same,

00:12:26.880 similar experience to me,

00:12:27.940 we all have,

00:12:29.140 and there are only a few,

00:12:30.080 a handful,

00:12:30.560 who have this experience.

00:12:31.360 They're married to multiple women.

00:12:33.120 They have no problem

00:12:33.800 in attracting and keeping them.

00:12:35.120 It's not a problem.

00:12:36.020 And they have got like a

00:12:36.940 big bench to choose from

00:12:39.120 if they wanted to.

00:12:39.780 They all have this one

00:12:40.460 underlying quality.

00:12:41.560 They never concern themselves

00:12:43.360 with,

00:12:44.280 what does she want 0.53

00:12:45.400 to make her happy?

00:12:46.060 Let me tell you the following

00:12:46.780 for the young men

00:12:47.380 who are watching, okay?

00:12:48.620 If you feel Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.95

00:12:49.820 to the best of your ability,

00:12:50.960 firstly and foremostly,

00:12:51.960 okay?

00:12:52.540 When Allah says in the Quran,

00:12:53.980 وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا

00:12:55.940 وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثَ لَا يَحْتَسِبْ

00:12:58.020 Whoever fears Allah,

00:12:59.140 Allah will make a way out for him 1.00

00:13:00.400 from every difficulty.

00:13:02.020 And he will provide him with risk

00:13:03.580 from means of which he did not expect.

00:13:06.560 This verse was revealed

00:13:07.940 in Surah At-Talaq.

00:13:09.400 It's a surah

00:13:10.540 concerning marriage and divorce.

00:13:13.280 And what the Mufassirin of the Quran 1.00

00:13:14.800 have said is that

00:13:15.580 this ayah of risk,

00:13:17.940 that is that he will provide him with risk,

00:13:19.420 meaning Allah will provide you with a spouse,

00:13:22.140 a wife,

00:13:22.920 from somewhere you didn't even expect it.

00:13:24.820 So this is your orientation.

00:13:26.340 I fear Allah firstly and foremostly. 1.00

00:13:27.880 That's the first thing.

00:13:28.580 Done.

00:13:29.080 Okay?

00:13:29.480 Taking care of the obligations and whatnot.

00:13:31.200 After that,

00:13:32.560 you are not just hardworking,

00:13:34.720 not just ambitious,

00:13:36.000 but you're actually executing your plan.

00:13:39.100 You are on that path.

00:13:40.440 You are making headway,

00:13:42.100 even if it's slow.

00:13:43.460 You are,

00:13:44.180 the majority of your day is consumed

00:13:46.280 with whatever your professional goals,

00:13:48.380 ambitions,

00:13:49.460 strategy,

00:13:50.880 whatever it is.

00:13:51.500 That's where you spend

00:13:52.280 the majority of your time.

00:13:53.960 If you fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.71

00:13:55.320 and then you are that guy

00:13:57.060 who is spending the majority of his time

00:13:58.940 on productive endeavors

00:14:00.520 and doesn't suffer from vices,

00:14:02.820 porn, 0.92

00:14:03.240 masturbation, 1.00

00:14:03.840 etc.

00:14:04.340 You will start to develop this aura.

00:14:07.460 You will become a bent magnet.

00:14:10.280 You will become sick of it.

00:14:12.660 You will become scared

00:14:14.140 of filling all four spots

00:14:16.120 because you're like,

00:14:16.980 man,

00:14:17.520 only four?

00:14:18.720 But there's so much choice.

00:14:19.860 It's going to be like that for you.

00:14:21.560 So what's your orientation?

00:14:22.800 I fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00

00:14:24.120 firstly and foremostly.

00:14:25.480 After that,

00:14:26.220 the majority of my day

00:14:27.180 is spent on productive endeavors

00:14:29.080 and I don't fall into vices

00:14:31.600 which goes into fear Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:14:34.640 This,

00:14:35.320 you are never going to have a shortage

00:14:37.560 of sisters who will want to marry you

00:14:39.380 because their sisters have this sixth sense.

00:14:41.620 They can like smell it.

00:14:43.040 It doesn't require an explanation.

00:14:44.700 By the way, sister,

00:14:45.500 this is my CV.

00:14:46.940 They can smell it.

00:14:48.800 There is something different about you.

00:14:51.580 There is this magnetic aura

00:14:53.460 that even they can't put it into words.

00:14:55.600 That's why I don't waste my time

00:14:56.400 asking them what do you want?

00:14:57.260 I don't care.

00:14:58.100 I already know what you want.

00:14:59.460 I know what you want.

00:15:00.360 Okay,

00:15:00.520 what is it what they want?

00:15:01.220 Tell us,

00:15:01.480 tell us,

00:15:01.860 I've written,

00:15:03.080 honestly,

00:15:03.560 I've written well.

00:15:04.100 Top 10!

00:15:04.520 But for some brothers that I don't know,

00:15:10.440 what else,

00:15:10.960 what other categories do you want?

00:15:11.700 Give me one or two more

00:15:12.580 that you believe a woman.

00:15:14.620 What?

00:15:15.140 Okay.

00:15:15.700 Because you've mentioned it.

00:15:16.880 Give a name to that.

00:15:17.480 You've mentioned something,

00:15:18.820 but give me a name.

00:15:19.900 You mentioned this term all the time,

00:15:21.340 all the time,

00:15:21.960 hypergamy.

00:15:22.480 Women are hypergamous by nature 1.00

00:15:23.640 and whatnot, yeah?

00:15:24.500 It all comes down to one thing.

00:15:26.580 One word,

00:15:27.140 security.

00:15:28.460 If you feel Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.95

00:15:29.860 to the best of your ability

00:15:30.780 because we're Muslims,

00:15:31.580 this is a Muslim podcast,

00:15:32.640 the majority of people are Muslim,

00:15:33.680 and then you're hardworking

00:15:35.600 and you're ambitious

00:15:36.420 and you're making actual progress

00:15:39.560 even if it's slow.

00:15:40.700 It's okay.

00:15:41.100 You could be broke,

00:15:41.780 bro.

00:15:41.860 That's not a problem.

00:15:42.920 The point is not how much money you have.

00:15:44.520 The point is you are on that mission.

00:15:47.000 You will craft something different

00:15:49.460 about those guys.

00:15:50.720 It's an energy that is hard to explain with words.

00:15:53.420 That's why I don't bother asking them

00:15:54.760 because even they can't put their finger on it

00:15:56.740 or define it with words.

00:15:58.120 They talk about the vibe.

00:15:59.540 What's the vibe?

00:16:00.680 It's this.

00:16:01.580 I'm telling you,

00:16:02.180 it's this.

00:16:02.440 I need the name for it.

00:16:03.680 What should we call it?

00:16:05.100 He wants to say it's me.

00:16:06.980 No, we need to call it Allah. 0.67

00:16:09.560 This is why it's very important.

00:16:12.840 Wallahi,

00:16:13.760 any good that you have,

00:16:14.680 anything,

00:16:15.660 anything,

00:16:16.580 is from Allah.

00:16:17.460 Of course.

00:16:18.100 As quickly,

00:16:18.800 as much,

00:16:19.340 He can take it from you.

00:16:20.380 And the reason why I say this over and over

00:16:21.840 is because I don't want to be tested

00:16:23.220 with it having been taken away from me.

00:16:25.020 I have been tested by Allah

00:16:26.400 with things taken away from me in the past.

00:16:28.160 And I didn't realize in the moment

00:16:30.500 that actually,

00:16:31.060 you know what?

00:16:31.700 I didn't fully deep.

00:16:32.760 This was from Allah to me.

00:16:34.260 Of course.

00:16:34.980 You see?

00:16:35.440 And He took it from me to humble me

00:16:37.280 and to show me,

00:16:38.120 look,

00:16:38.460 this was never you in the first place.

00:16:40.040 Exactly.

00:16:40.340 It was from me.

00:16:42.000 And to quote Tyson Fury,

00:16:43.240 who said in one of his fights once,

00:16:44.660 I give God the glory

00:16:46.480 and He gives me the victory.

00:16:49.020 That's it.

00:16:49.580 We put the actions into effect.

00:16:51.500 But actually,

00:16:52.080 the victory is from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.

00:16:53.640 It's from Him.

00:16:54.100 He gives it to you.

00:16:55.300 It's from His mercy

00:16:56.020 and He can take it away from you.

00:16:57.440 I think,

00:16:57.840 sorry,

00:16:58.440 I think what's really quite profound here,

00:17:00.560 maybe,

00:17:01.840 it also really gives human beings

00:17:05.520 the idea of Tawheed.

00:17:07.460 When you recognize that your wives

00:17:09.700 and your wealth

00:17:10.540 and your health,

00:17:11.800 that all of these things

00:17:13.040 are His mercy

00:17:14.040 and He can take each of them away

00:17:16.140 for you to recognize Him.

00:17:17.760 Because if you look at

00:17:18.660 all of the prophets,

00:17:19.560 they've all been tested

00:17:21.240 with their health,

00:17:22.740 Ayyub alayhi salam,

00:17:23.800 with their children,

00:17:26.440 Yusuf alayhi salam,

00:17:27.840 what's Yusuf alayhi salam's father's name?

00:17:30.600 Yaqub alayhi salam.

00:17:31.880 So it's all,

00:17:32.820 I think what maybe,

00:17:34.560 what you're saying is that

00:17:35.940 there is this

00:17:37.140 test that we go through

00:17:40.620 in our lives

00:17:41.280 where we have to recognize

00:17:42.560 and become God conscious

00:17:44.280 that everything that's happening

00:17:45.700 is by His order.

00:17:47.920 Barakallahu alayhi salam.

00:17:48.300 And whether it's your wife

00:17:50.040 or your children

00:17:50.800 or your need to get married,

00:17:52.460 it will come from Him,

00:17:54.200 but your duty is

00:17:55.360 to connect with Him.

00:17:56.660 Let's use Ali as an example 0.75

00:17:57.760 for a second.

00:17:58.240 Sorry, Akhi Ali,

00:17:58.740 put you on the spot.

00:17:59.580 I'm finished.

00:18:01.000 I'm finished.

00:18:02.000 I want to use Ali, 0.98

00:18:02.720 okay,

00:18:03.080 Ali has,

00:18:03.740 Allahumma barak,

00:18:04.140 over a million subscribers

00:18:04.980 on YouTube,

00:18:05.480 okay?

00:18:05.700 Allahumma amin,

00:18:06.240 make it 2 million,

00:18:07.220 10 million.

00:18:07.580 If it's good for us.

00:18:08.080 This is from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

00:18:09.560 okay,

00:18:10.000 the success of his channel

00:18:11.840 and whatnot.

00:18:12.500 But you can't say

00:18:13.640 that this is not

00:18:14.620 from strategic planning

00:18:15.920 and how to craft

00:18:17.060 and curate videos

00:18:18.100 over the long term,

00:18:20.200 what,

00:18:20.340 10 years plus now,

00:18:21.480 improving constantly

00:18:22.640 these micro adjustments

00:18:23.820 that you have to make

00:18:24.580 constantly.

00:18:25.460 The two are not

00:18:26.240 mutually exclusive.

00:18:27.620 It is from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.64

00:18:29.020 and it is also

00:18:30.100 from the action as well.

00:18:31.120 You've got to tie your camera.

00:18:31.960 You have to tie the both together.

00:18:33.020 Yes,

00:18:33.500 it's true.

00:18:34.180 I agree with that.

00:18:35.060 For example,

00:18:35.580 when it comes to the time

00:18:36.180 of the Prophet ﷺ,

00:18:36.700 the man,

00:18:37.000 he said,

00:18:37.360 for example,

00:18:37.800 why did you not tie your camel?

00:18:39.020 He said,

00:18:39.340 I put my trust in Allah.

00:18:40.220 The dynamics back then

00:18:41.040 were very interesting

00:18:41.640 because the man is saying,

00:18:42.680 he has,

00:18:43.200 it was like 90% tawakul,

00:18:44.960 10% me doing my bit.

00:18:46.820 The dynamics have shifted today.

00:18:48.300 It's 90% what I do,

00:18:49.840 10% tawakul in Allah.

00:18:51.340 Now we are in a situation

00:18:52.340 where the person

00:18:52.980 is not tying the camel.

00:18:54.020 They have strangled the camel

00:18:54.920 and the camel is dead.

00:18:56.160 Do you get it?

00:18:56.680 Because it's,

00:18:57.280 you know what it is?

00:18:58.020 It's a matter of tawheed.

00:18:59.320 I always tell this to people.

00:19:00.660 Everything that we go through

00:19:01.960 goes back to tawheed 0.99

00:19:03.120 because right now

00:19:04.020 you're saying,

00:19:04.860 I've tied my camel.

00:19:06.180 Now you're trusting Allah.

00:19:07.500 They're like,

00:19:07.880 I don't know.

00:19:09.080 Let me tie it again.

00:19:10.120 And you are there for so long,

00:19:11.620 your camel is dead

00:19:12.440 because you're thinking

00:19:13.740 it is in my hands.

00:19:15.260 It's not.

00:19:16.080 I personally ask people

00:19:17.320 to recline more to tawakul

00:19:18.680 than their own hands.

00:19:20.060 I believe both go simultaneously,

00:19:22.060 but I would say

00:19:22.680 incline a bit more to tawakul.

00:19:24.560 Do you get it?

00:19:24.880 But in today's time,

00:19:26.040 which we face is,

00:19:27.060 I call it the Amazon Prime Flex,

00:19:28.600 which is what?

00:19:29.360 I order from Amazon.

00:19:30.320 It comes back.

00:19:30.880 It comes back.

00:19:31.820 I mean,

00:19:32.100 I order,

00:19:32.400 it comes.

00:19:32.900 The following day,

00:19:33.420 I don't like it.

00:19:33.740 I send it back.

00:19:34.560 Fast cars,

00:19:35.140 fast time drives,

00:19:35.760 fast food.

00:19:36.600 Everything is so fast.

00:19:37.800 We implement this into our lifestyle.

00:19:39.360 I have a problem with Mehdi.

00:19:40.480 I've never seen anything good from him,

00:19:41.560 bro.

00:19:42.060 But what happened,

00:19:42.540 man?

00:19:42.600 You guys were like,

00:19:43.320 argument's sake.

00:19:43.800 Me and Mehdi,

00:19:44.200 we're not that close

00:19:44.780 because I don't know him.

00:19:45.720 But alhamdulillah,

00:19:46.600 I've went and eaten with him.

00:19:47.860 We've gone and chilled.

00:19:49.320 Argument's sake.

00:19:49.780 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00

00:19:50.320 increase our brotherhood.

00:19:51.300 The point is this,

00:19:52.520 but the moment we see something wrong,

00:19:54.420 what do we do?

00:19:55.020 What do I do with Amazon?

00:19:55.860 I don't like it,

00:19:56.360 but I'll send it back.

00:19:57.300 We apply this to our lifestyle.

00:19:58.980 Yeah?

00:19:59.720 So in a nutshell,

00:20:00.560 that's a whole,

00:20:01.380 kind of a different topic on itself.

00:20:02.840 Should we say,

00:20:03.500 should we call that thing

00:20:04.240 that you mentioned leadership?

00:20:06.240 Like,

00:20:06.740 frame.

00:20:07.840 One word.

00:20:08.680 Frame.

00:20:09.780 Frame.

00:20:10.880 Frame.

00:20:11.460 What do you mean by frame?

00:20:12.700 Because if you are doing

00:20:15.440 what you have to do as a man

00:20:16.540 and then you go on above

00:20:17.360 and beyond as well for that matter,

00:20:18.940 nothing needs to be explained.

00:20:20.180 Okay,

00:20:20.380 give me frame slash something.

00:20:21.700 We need to put our finger on this.

00:20:23.720 For the sake of the sisters.

00:20:24.800 Yes.

00:20:25.380 Frame slash,

00:20:26.200 what is it?

00:20:26.540 Is it leadership?

00:20:27.620 Is it security?

00:20:29.800 Like,

00:20:29.920 when we talk about security,

00:20:30.540 we've mentioned security

00:20:31.060 on their behalf,

00:20:31.740 yeah?

00:20:31.940 But a secure man,

00:20:33.520 should we call it a secure man?

00:20:35.020 Because you know the sisters

00:20:35.600 say you're insecure.

00:20:36.300 It's not what,

00:20:37.020 you're saying.

00:20:37.760 It's not what,

00:20:38.280 because what he's,

00:20:39.240 correct me if I'm wrong.

00:20:40.640 Should I just call it

00:20:40.800 the special formula?

00:20:41.820 No.

00:20:42.740 No,

00:20:43.140 because what he's really saying

00:20:45.640 is that you have to be,

00:20:47.380 and you have to be focused

00:20:49.220 on your goals and ambitions

00:20:50.820 to achieve

00:20:51.660 so that you can provide.

00:20:53.120 There's a name for it.

00:20:53.760 And that is God consciousness,

00:20:55.480 but you have to be working hard for that.

00:20:57.120 No,

00:20:57.420 he's relating God consciousness,

00:20:58.700 he's praising Allah

00:20:59.380 for what he has.

00:21:00.400 What he's talking about

00:21:01.200 is a formula which I know,

00:21:02.840 I have a jahiliya,

00:21:04.100 I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:21:05.400 I want to give a name to that

00:21:06.520 because I know what you're saying.

00:21:08.080 It's not something that you can explain,

00:21:09.320 it's something that you live

00:21:10.200 and show.

00:21:11.980 It's a force that people,

00:21:14.100 they're like,

00:21:14.580 okay,

00:21:14.820 I understand.

00:21:15.700 It's like talking without talking.

00:21:17.120 Did you get it?

00:21:17.600 In my country,

00:21:18.160 we say,

00:21:18.880 I'll speak a little,

00:21:19.620 you understand a lot.

00:21:20.560 Yeah?

00:21:20.660 But what do we...

00:21:22.540 Hold on,

00:21:23.180 hold on,

00:21:23.660 isn't there an Arabic word for that?

00:21:25.440 Isn't it masculine?

00:21:26.380 It's majesty.

00:21:28.280 You know,

00:21:29.120 in Arabic,

00:21:30.440 there's a word for it.

00:21:31.720 You know,

00:21:32.100 when you have...

00:21:33.220 It's how you carry yourself,

00:21:34.080 isn't it?

00:21:34.380 Yeah,

00:21:34.600 but there's a word for it

00:21:35.560 in Arabic.

00:21:36.720 How you carry,

00:21:37.780 how a man carries himself,

00:21:40.400 it's a jahlali.

00:21:42.700 You know,

00:21:42.980 like jahlali,

00:21:43.720 you have a jahlali masculinity

00:21:45.240 because there's jahlali

00:21:46.440 and jahmali.

00:21:47.440 Jahmali is like more beauty,

00:21:49.120 soft,

00:21:49.600 some people say feminine aura.

00:21:52.280 That's it.

00:21:53.780 Jahlali aura,

00:21:54.620 which is,

00:21:54.860 jahlali is majestic in Arabic

00:21:56.820 because Allah gives that to people.

00:21:57.460 I might start imagery and call it.

00:21:58.920 But I just want to preface one thing again

00:22:00.580 for the young men

00:22:01.200 who are watching you right now

00:22:02.240 and that is,

00:22:03.120 don't ask the question of

00:22:04.180 how do I get,

00:22:04.740 how do I,

00:22:05.200 this is not something you learn

00:22:06.560 or you read in a book.

00:22:08.640 It is a series of actions

00:22:10.000 that you yourself

00:22:10.800 are putting into play

00:22:11.740 every single day.

00:22:12.520 In fact,

00:22:12.700 I'm reminded of another ayah 1.00

00:22:13.920 in Surah Al-Mulk

00:22:14.500 where Allah says,

00:22:15.240 إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يَخْشَوْنَا رَبَّهُمْ بِالْغَيْبِ

00:22:17.480 Those who fear their Lord in private,

00:22:20.240 they will have forgiveness

00:22:21.040 and a great reward.

00:22:22.220 Okay?

00:22:22.900 So,

00:22:23.220 you fear Allah 0.58

00:22:23.820 when no one's watching you.

00:22:25.100 You're on your own, bruv.

00:22:26.840 Nobody's watching you.

00:22:27.480 You're on your own.

00:22:28.080 And you're doing what,

00:22:29.020 and now I'm adding to that,

00:22:30.840 you're doing what you must

00:22:31.900 as a man

00:22:32.540 and then going above and beyond that.

00:22:34.360 Wallahi,

00:22:34.720 you're never going to have it.

00:22:35.540 Do you know the only problem

00:22:36.280 you're going to have with women? 0.97

00:22:37.740 How do I pick?

00:22:39.560 That's the only problem

00:22:40.240 you're ever going to have.

00:22:40.720 Hayba.

00:22:41.960 Hayba.

00:22:42.320 What's in English?

00:22:44.060 Hayba.

00:22:44.540 That's the word.

00:22:45.060 What's in English?

00:22:45.500 That is the word.

00:22:46.200 He can explain it.

00:22:47.080 No, he can't.

00:22:48.640 It's the right word.

00:22:49.360 It's the right word.

00:22:49.920 The only way I can explain it

00:22:51.040 is by saying it's that energy.

00:22:52.500 It's something.

00:22:53.480 It's Hayba.

00:22:54.440 But Hayba is connected

00:22:55.380 more to the religious sense.

00:22:56.280 And it's weird

00:22:56.980 because it's in Arabic

00:22:57.980 and Arabs will understand Hayba.

00:23:00.460 Let's do justice.

00:23:01.420 To the best of the masculine energy? 0.71

00:23:03.180 Masculine energy or... 0.97

00:23:04.240 Write Hayba.

00:23:04.960 See if they understand it.

00:23:05.880 No, no, no.

00:23:06.320 It's Hayba.

00:23:06.860 Who's that?

00:23:07.520 Someone in the comments

00:23:08.240 is going to let us know

00:23:08.880 what Hayba is.

00:23:09.240 Guys, time is running out.

00:23:11.240 Let's get...

00:23:11.560 Okay, we've got honesty.

00:23:12.580 We've got wealth.

00:23:13.340 We've got security.

00:23:14.440 This Hayba. 1.00

00:23:17.080 Last, what's the...

00:23:18.200 What's one other thing

00:23:19.260 that we believe

00:23:19.760 all women look for? 0.99

00:23:21.420 Status.

00:23:23.220 Status.

00:23:23.540 I like that.

00:23:24.120 I like that.

00:23:25.180 Because a woman 0.99

00:23:26.200 will pick a man 0.98

00:23:27.500 with status.

00:23:28.640 I like that.

00:23:29.420 Don't you think women 1.00

00:23:30.080 look for attraction?

00:23:30.640 That can be online

00:23:31.080 and offline, by the way.

00:23:32.080 Yeah, yeah.

00:23:32.700 We missed that one.

00:23:33.320 Attraction.

00:23:33.840 Attraction is not important.

00:23:35.020 They are...

00:23:35.560 Depends, it's accurate. 0.53

00:23:36.480 With us, we are like...

00:23:39.080 Sometimes you see a woman 0.99

00:23:40.120 with a brother

00:23:40.740 who just...

00:23:41.760 He might not be pleased

00:23:42.800 into the eye, yeah?

00:23:43.460 Like, I just want to...

00:23:44.000 Creation is beautiful.

00:23:44.940 But with women, 0.83

00:23:45.860 it's that status, yeah?

00:23:47.060 If you're a man,

00:23:48.000 your looks might not be

00:23:49.220 just there.

00:23:50.080 But when you have

00:23:50.640 certain status

00:23:51.620 or you have wealth,

00:23:53.280 it's...

00:23:53.800 In a woman's eye, 1.00

00:23:54.460 you become attractive.

00:23:55.420 Yeah, you become attractive.

00:23:56.400 So attraction is important, though.

00:23:57.980 But I think this fits

00:23:58.800 into this status thing.

00:24:00.600 You know, I read once, right?

00:24:02.160 It attracts them.

00:24:02.560 That women are valued

00:24:04.480 for two things

00:24:05.580 and men are valued

00:24:06.620 for two things.

00:24:07.460 Okay.

00:24:07.680 Men are valued

00:24:08.820 for wealth and status.

00:24:11.220 Yes.

00:24:11.440 And women are valued 0.99

00:24:12.900 for youth and beauty.

00:24:15.180 Yep.

00:24:15.800 These very cool things.

00:24:17.760 Okay, one last thing.

00:24:18.460 So we've got here

00:24:19.020 honesty, wealth, security,

00:24:21.540 a status slash masculine,

00:24:22.940 whatever it is.

00:24:23.360 No doubt.

00:24:23.800 I just want to add

00:24:24.660 as a caveat to status

00:24:25.660 that it doesn't have

00:24:26.460 to be online status.

00:24:27.640 It could, for example,

00:24:28.260 be you're like...

00:24:29.060 Yes, anything.

00:24:29.840 An imam in the community.

00:24:31.340 Nothing.

00:24:31.460 Anything.

00:24:31.760 For example,

00:24:32.380 you're somebody

00:24:32.760 who's responsible

00:24:33.340 for organising events.

00:24:34.560 People recognise you

00:24:36.160 as someone who's

00:24:36.820 responsible for something.

00:24:38.180 It's not societal order,

00:24:39.220 isn't it?

00:24:39.560 It's being high up

00:24:40.560 in that societal order,

00:24:41.500 basically.

00:24:42.500 It's...

00:24:42.980 Was it hypergumns,

00:24:44.040 you said?

00:24:44.520 Hypergumns, yeah.

00:24:45.060 So it's an essential

00:24:45.840 component of that,

00:24:46.660 isn't it?

00:24:46.960 Having a high status,

00:24:48.180 people will look up to you,

00:24:49.340 people will come for you

00:24:49.980 for wisdom.

00:24:50.720 Women value that, 1.00

00:24:51.740 they look for that.

00:24:52.660 If you're a man

00:24:53.260 who has no societal standards,

00:24:55.000 women aren't going 1.00

00:24:55.840 to be attracted to you.

00:24:56.140 When we talk about

00:24:56.560 societal standards,

00:24:57.100 for example,

00:24:57.700 arguments sake,

00:24:58.280 like Professor Taj,

00:24:58.880 you are into your

00:24:59.660 bodybuilding, yeah?

00:25:00.820 You do security.

00:25:01.580 I believe you're

00:25:02.260 a man of status

00:25:03.380 because the fact that,

00:25:04.840 for example,

00:25:05.200 you're sitting here,

00:25:06.000 I look at your shoulders

00:25:07.260 and I get a little bit

00:25:08.080 intimidated, yeah?

00:25:09.400 The point is this,

00:25:10.900 you also decide

00:25:11.300 you have a status.

00:25:12.560 Masha,

00:25:12.800 you're a handsome brother,

00:25:13.680 you have status,

00:25:14.200 you're doing something,

00:25:15.120 you're driven,

00:25:15.620 you're out there.

00:25:16.280 Yeah, but that's

00:25:16.700 coming under hard working

00:25:18.060 or some type of motivation.

00:25:20.380 But here,

00:25:20.860 what we're talking about

00:25:21.480 from a woman's psychology,

00:25:23.160 you, I believe,

00:25:24.240 fit into that status.

00:25:25.220 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:25:25.820 Every man,

00:25:26.740 it's not like,

00:25:27.340 yes, you have the one

00:25:28.140 that's the top G,

00:25:29.340 like, okay.

00:25:30.280 But we're talking about,

00:25:31.160 it's not just,

00:25:31.780 that's it,

00:25:32.100 there's people underneath

00:25:33.000 there as well

00:25:33.480 that fit in,

00:25:34.540 maybe not that quality

00:25:35.740 in that sense,

00:25:36.400 but they can fit into that.

00:25:37.760 Many men can fit into that

00:25:38.680 in different ways.

00:25:39.180 But another thing

00:25:39.680 we've forgotten about

00:25:40.380 is character.

00:25:41.060 We've never said a character.

00:25:42.140 You know,

00:25:42.280 you think a woman,

00:25:42.980 a man can have everything

00:25:43.860 if he doesn't have

00:25:44.560 a good character.

00:25:45.020 Okay, so you're saying character?

00:25:46.640 Character, yeah.

00:25:47.200 Okay, and also,

00:25:47.980 you work at the doors.

00:25:49.780 Yeah, I've had a jahiri

00:25:50.640 going clubs, etc.

00:25:51.600 Yeah, I'm just saying

00:25:52.080 this for the benefit.

00:25:52.920 Let me say,

00:25:53.340 bouncers, DJ,

00:25:55.080 they're getting girls. 0.99

00:25:56.440 They're getting girls. 0.99

00:25:57.100 Bouncers,

00:25:57.600 you know what it is?

00:25:58.320 Why?

00:25:59.160 What do they have?

00:26:00.340 The reason women 1.00

00:26:01.040 like bouncers

00:26:01.840 is because you have this

00:26:03.720 manly thing about you.

00:26:05.760 Thank you.

00:26:06.060 Yeah, so the thing is

00:26:06.880 you're controlling.

00:26:08.000 You're the one who decides

00:26:09.160 are you coming in or not.

00:26:10.380 You're the one when they fight.

00:26:11.240 Do you see?

00:26:11.880 And even a DJ.

00:26:13.040 Yeah.

00:26:14.020 Sometimes like,

00:26:14.860 in clubs,

00:26:15.240 I knew in the world

00:26:16.200 it was like,

00:26:16.740 you know,

00:26:17.000 the guy doesn't even look the part.

00:26:18.300 But it's the status.

00:26:19.460 And I don't know

00:26:19.880 if it was Jordan Peterson,

00:26:21.420 which I despise now. 0.90

00:26:23.780 Dirtbag.

00:26:24.780 But there's some studies

00:26:25.600 he does in psychology.

00:26:26.640 He was talking about a woman

00:26:27.420 who,

00:26:28.080 she was in a meeting

00:26:29.280 and this guy came in

00:26:30.020 like a boss

00:26:30.700 and he was there

00:26:31.280 and he was just,

00:26:32.040 and she goes,

00:26:32.340 I felt so attracted to him.

00:26:33.640 He goes,

00:26:33.940 I saw the same man

00:26:35.200 in a specific meeting

00:26:37.100 and he was being bossed around.

00:26:38.820 I lost attraction to him.

00:26:39.960 Yeah.

00:26:40.320 And also there was this

00:26:41.380 other woman 0.99

00:26:42.160 who was in Rogan's podcast.

00:26:43.820 She was like,

00:26:44.240 oh,

00:26:44.460 my boyfriend,

00:26:45.540 MMA.

00:26:46.180 And then he was getting beat up

00:26:47.220 and he did this.

00:26:48.820 And he goes,

00:26:49.440 he goes,

00:26:49.720 I was so,

00:26:50.180 can you imagine?

00:26:50.780 This is what we're talking about.

00:26:52.160 When people think

00:26:52.660 we're here chatting

00:26:53.160 out of our backsides,

00:26:54.620 this is a reality.

00:26:55.500 In her case,

00:26:56.480 she was also 0.66

00:26:57.120 a world Muay Thai champion.

00:26:58.620 Exactly.

00:27:00.020 So she needs somebody

00:27:01.040 because women date. 1.00

00:27:01.800 Who's more than her.

00:27:02.620 Exactly.

00:27:03.300 Thank you.

00:27:04.120 Yes, Aki.

00:27:04.560 So I say this for the benefit

00:27:06.380 of the viewers watching at home.

00:27:07.480 I'm not saying this to boast

00:27:08.440 or anything.

00:27:09.300 So one of my jobs,

00:27:10.960 I work in the entertainment industry

00:27:12.200 and I don't want to say

00:27:14.420 exactly what,

00:27:15.400 but essentially,

00:27:16.580 once I started doing that,

00:27:17.800 my status got so high.

00:27:19.300 I was getting like,

00:27:20.940 obviously looking back at it now,

00:27:22.520 you know,

00:27:22.760 it's not good,

00:27:23.280 but I was getting DMs

00:27:24.480 from everyone.

00:27:25.280 Exactly.

00:27:25.740 Like females, 1.00

00:27:26.800 right?

00:27:26.920 I say this for the benefit

00:27:28.220 of the viewers at home.

00:27:29.200 My ego was so high.

00:27:30.580 I didn't know how to control it.

00:27:31.540 I didn't know what to do,

00:27:32.260 but my status was so high.

00:27:33.880 It's like you're in a coffee now.

00:27:34.840 Exactly.

00:27:35.220 And I'll be honest,

00:27:35.720 in terms of looks and character,

00:27:37.300 I'm very average, right?

00:27:38.800 But when I got that,

00:27:39.820 when I...

00:27:40.400 You're a handsome man.

00:27:40.880 I was waiting for you to say that.

00:27:42.260 I said that on purpose

00:27:43.420 so you could say something.

00:27:45.040 Oh, it's called humble arrogance.

00:27:47.100 But genuinely,

00:27:48.680 like Allah's my witness.

00:27:50.160 When I started doing that,

00:27:51.820 I started getting so much attention.

00:27:53.220 I didn't know how to deal with it.

00:27:54.400 And that made me realise

00:27:55.660 it's more like women do look up 1.00

00:27:57.380 for people within like

00:27:58.720 sort of a status level.

00:27:59.780 Women like men. 0.56

00:28:00.340 And it could be anything.

00:28:01.080 It could be in security,

00:28:03.000 it could be entertainment,

00:28:03.880 it could be anything.

00:28:04.540 Anything.

00:28:04.980 That's what we say.

00:28:05.600 Women like a man with power. 1.00

00:28:06.880 Okay, so guys,

00:28:07.660 I've written down honesty,

00:28:09.100 wealth, security,

00:28:10.760 status slash masculine,

00:28:11.940 and character, yeah?

00:28:12.840 Those are things

00:28:13.260 we're going to leave

00:28:13.600 with the sisters, inshallah.

00:28:14.520 And I mentioned this

00:28:15.360 in my marriage documentary.

00:28:16.140 When I first came to Islam,

00:28:17.540 there was...

00:28:17.900 Before I came to Islam, bro,

00:28:18.880 there was...

00:28:19.580 I used to go to university

00:28:20.500 and I was looking into Islam.

00:28:21.620 There was certain sisters

00:28:22.480 that I kind of approached

00:28:23.680 for marriage.

00:28:24.580 And they were not really

00:28:25.240 that interesting.

00:28:26.300 I mentioned this in my documentary.

00:28:27.280 These are real things

00:28:28.180 that I lived through, yeah?

00:28:28.760 The same sisters,

00:28:30.120 when I became Ali Dawah,

00:28:32.060 yeah, when it transformed,

00:28:32.860 I don't know,

00:28:33.060 I was the same person,

00:28:33.600 but when I transformed, yeah?

00:28:35.660 The same sisters,

00:28:36.700 all of a sudden,

00:28:37.440 bro, in Instagram,

00:28:38.960 oh yeah, I saw your stuff,

00:28:39.940 et cetera, et cetera.

00:28:40.980 I was like, what changed?

00:28:42.240 What changed, bro?

00:28:43.140 I was like, what changed?

00:28:44.400 You just see,

00:28:44.960 it's in their blood, bro.

00:28:45.680 They're hardwired.

00:28:46.560 Do you get what I'm trying to say?

00:28:47.280 It's like that.

00:28:47.840 But anyways,

00:28:48.300 we've got our five.

00:28:49.540 We're not going to show them

00:28:50.100 to the sisters.

00:28:50.880 We're going to let the sisters 1.00

00:28:51.580 now react to our list

00:28:54.380 that we've made.

00:28:54.880 And let's see if there's

00:28:55.740 any match or not,

00:28:56.800 inshallah,

00:28:57.320 we're going to go to the sisters,

00:28:58.200 inshallah,

00:28:58.420 we're going to leave

00:28:58.820 the stage of the sofa,

00:29:01.000 inshallah.

00:29:01.460 Let's go to them.

00:29:02.160 Salamu.

00:29:03.820 Okay, so what do you guys

00:29:05.220 look for in a husband? 0.91

00:29:06.340 Please write four to five things,

00:29:08.660 discuss it amongst yourself,

00:29:09.600 inshallah,

00:29:10.240 and then we're going to send you

00:29:11.240 our results in 15 minutes.

00:29:12.760 What do you guys look for in a husband? 1.00

00:29:14.040 What was just a...

00:29:14.800 Okay, girls. 1.00

00:29:15.660 Money?

00:29:16.160 How many do I come?

00:29:17.580 No, you're not joking.

00:29:19.000 I'm not actually joking.

00:29:20.300 We're not joking.

00:29:20.900 We do want a man

00:29:23.000 who can financially provide.

00:29:25.260 There's nothing wrong with it.

00:29:26.260 You know what?

00:29:26.580 From the Western standard,

00:29:30.800 we would be seen as gold diggers.

00:29:32.680 But listen,

00:29:33.920 this is our right, yeah?

00:29:35.240 This is our right

00:29:35.940 given to us by Allah.

00:29:37.380 So who are you to say that?

00:29:38.820 Listen,

00:29:39.780 a man is supposed

00:29:41.020 to be providing anyway.

00:29:42.520 So we do want a man 0.90

00:29:44.100 who's financially stable

00:29:45.140 and who is going to provide

00:29:46.860 for our basic necessities.

00:29:48.340 We're not asking for much,

00:29:49.320 by the way.

00:29:49.640 We're not asking you

00:29:50.640 to buy us a Lamborghini

00:29:52.780 and a house.

00:29:54.200 Yeah, so if I had to put that

00:29:56.180 as a point,

00:29:57.720 I would say

00:29:58.840 what I look for

00:30:01.120 in a man

00:30:01.780 is a leader.

00:30:05.280 So I'll explain that further.

00:30:07.460 A leader meaning

00:30:08.340 someone who will lead me,

00:30:10.580 someone who I can trust

00:30:11.600 and I'll respect

00:30:13.160 your decisions

00:30:13.800 and I'll let you

00:30:15.020 do your thing

00:30:15.780 and I'll go with the flow

00:30:17.080 because you're a level-headed man,

00:30:20.200 you know what you're doing.

00:30:20.840 but also you have to lead

00:30:22.440 my kids as well.

00:30:25.120 That's one point,

00:30:26.540 I would say.

00:30:31.280 Okay, so

00:30:32.340 obviously this is not

00:30:34.200 just the one point,

00:30:35.840 but to add,

00:30:37.180 I would say

00:30:39.060 respect

00:30:39.780 and acknowledgement

00:30:42.540 are probably

00:30:43.480 like the two things.

00:30:44.900 Obviously,

00:30:45.440 I want to add

00:30:46.360 like the Dean aspect,

00:30:47.760 I feel like

00:30:48.580 that would be

00:30:49.460 personally stating

00:30:50.480 the obvious.

00:30:51.600 So I'm not adding

00:30:53.540 that in

00:30:54.180 in its entirety

00:30:56.440 at the moment,

00:30:57.140 but with the respect

00:30:59.180 and the

00:31:00.480 acknowledgement aspect

00:31:03.140 and what I mean

00:31:03.960 by that,

00:31:04.340 respect,

00:31:05.200 when someone has

00:31:06.240 respect for you,

00:31:07.040 I feel that

00:31:07.900 everything else

00:31:09.580 falls into place

00:31:10.500 and

00:31:12.020 it can be

00:31:13.560 the foundation

00:31:14.240 of everything else

00:31:15.460 that we ask for

00:31:16.440 or expect

00:31:18.040 and

00:31:19.100 that's why

00:31:20.080 I do see that

00:31:21.280 as a fundamental

00:31:22.040 and a core value.

00:31:24.900 Second to that

00:31:25.920 would be

00:31:26.640 the acknowledgement.

00:31:28.420 What I mean

00:31:28.760 by acknowledgement

00:31:29.320 as a female,

00:31:30.860 we'd like to be

00:31:31.460 recognised

00:31:32.160 for our efforts

00:31:34.360 or,

00:31:35.060 you know,

00:31:35.340 just for what we do

00:31:36.300 in the same way

00:31:37.020 men do as well.

00:31:38.660 Like they want

00:31:39.200 to be recognised

00:31:40.020 for what they put

00:31:41.580 into the marriage

00:31:42.780 but I feel like

00:31:44.280 with females

00:31:45.280 perhaps

00:31:45.760 there's a lot

00:31:47.180 more needed

00:31:48.180 with regards

00:31:49.100 to the physical

00:31:49.900 aspects

00:31:50.560 and we do expect

00:31:52.020 kind of

00:31:53.100 acknowledgement

00:31:53.640 over the way

00:31:54.700 we look

00:31:55.280 which is not so much

00:31:56.520 I feel

00:31:57.180 with the males

00:31:58.300 they don't expect

00:31:59.060 that as much

00:31:59.860 and,

00:32:01.920 you know,

00:32:02.240 we do put,

00:32:03.000 we do centre ourselves

00:32:03.900 a lot around beauty 0.65

00:32:05.100 so we want

00:32:07.200 that to be seen

00:32:08.240 and I feel like

00:32:09.900 when that is

00:32:10.520 missed out

00:32:11.260 in a marriage

00:32:12.680 it can bring down

00:32:14.460 the female morale

00:32:15.440 and it can cause

00:32:17.940 or can trigger

00:32:18.840 for other issues

00:32:20.240 to arise

00:32:20.840 in the other

00:32:21.600 aspects

00:32:23.080 of the marriage.

00:32:24.520 we're just spilling

00:32:26.580 out some points

00:32:27.340 we've got a whole list

00:32:28.840 mate

00:32:29.100 but it's just

00:32:30.220 some points

00:32:30.660 that we're going

00:32:31.060 to spill out

00:32:31.960 I'm just going

00:32:34.340 to add

00:32:34.680 again

00:32:36.380 obedience

00:32:37.100 and what I mean

00:32:38.440 by that

00:32:38.760 is like

00:32:39.220 he's just

00:32:39.860 a genuinely

00:32:40.560 obedient man

00:32:41.500 to his role

00:32:42.620 and to his God

00:32:43.420 because

00:32:44.340 again like you said

00:32:45.620 everything else

00:32:46.800 comes after that

00:32:47.980 if the man's

00:32:48.480 obedient to Allah 0.77

00:32:49.260 and I really mean

00:32:51.020 this

00:32:51.180 if he's obedient

00:32:51.840 to Allah

00:32:52.240 everything else

00:32:53.420 comes

00:32:53.660 he's respectful

00:32:54.280 he's mindful

00:32:55.740 I'm not going

00:32:57.120 to go more

00:32:58.100 into the obedience

00:32:58.620 because again

00:32:59.360 if he's a Muslim

00:33:00.060 man he should 0.93

00:33:00.520 just be like that

00:33:01.620 we expect him

00:33:02.240 to be like that

00:33:02.640 but mindful

00:33:04.200 just be mindful

00:33:05.500 be mindful

00:33:06.240 that you've

00:33:06.860 married someone's

00:33:07.680 daughter

00:33:07.960 you have

00:33:09.200 obligation

00:33:09.980 to look after her

00:33:10.940 you have a duty

00:33:11.800 to God

00:33:12.900 to protect

00:33:13.700 women and children

00:33:14.400 and from that

00:33:16.040 for me

00:33:16.420 everything else

00:33:17.140 falls in place

00:33:17.720 if he's mindful

00:33:18.320 of who he is

00:33:19.300 what he's supposed

00:33:19.720 to be doing

00:33:20.120 and his job

00:33:20.640 and his role

00:33:21.120 inshallah

00:33:22.020 that is an

00:33:23.720 ultimate

00:33:24.580 win for me

00:33:27.340 yeah

00:33:27.660 I agree with that

00:33:29.380 I was going to say

00:33:29.860 you're absolutely right

00:33:30.740 when a man is 0.89

00:33:31.420 conscious of God

00:33:32.340 in all aspects

00:33:34.100 of his life

00:33:34.780 in every single

00:33:36.200 step of the way

00:33:37.660 you think about Allah

00:33:38.600 you're going to

00:33:40.400 naturally fall

00:33:41.320 into line

00:33:41.960 with you know

00:33:43.280 what a husband 0.97

00:33:44.000 should be

00:33:44.660 and how you

00:33:45.480 should be treating

00:33:46.440 another

00:33:47.260 another

00:33:48.120 another person's

00:33:50.000 daughter

00:33:50.380 exactly

00:33:51.100 that's literally

00:33:51.680 what it is

00:33:52.040 because

00:33:52.200 if you was to

00:33:53.960 put if you

00:33:54.480 as a man

00:33:55.360 if you was to

00:33:55.880 be put in that

00:33:56.380 position where

00:33:57.100 your daughter

00:33:57.760 is looking for

00:34:00.460 a looking for

00:34:01.360 a husband

00:34:01.740 you would want

00:34:02.720 that man to

00:34:03.600 you would make

00:34:04.340 sure that man

00:34:05.100 takes care of

00:34:06.000 your daughter

00:34:06.520 so why wouldn't

00:34:07.460 you do that

00:34:07.900 for somebody

00:34:08.340 else's daughter

00:34:09.040 that you've

00:34:09.440 just married

00:34:09.980 yeah

00:34:10.420 so yeah

00:34:12.260 just

00:34:12.520 I also want to

00:34:13.640 add a twist

00:34:14.400 as well

00:34:14.900 yeah

00:34:15.140 because

00:34:15.560 this is

00:34:16.120 something

00:34:16.340 I've

00:34:16.660 recently

00:34:17.220 surfaced

00:34:18.800 within my

00:34:19.720 own

00:34:20.020 research

00:34:20.800 that

00:34:22.000 I'm looking

00:34:23.420 me personally

00:34:24.220 myself

00:34:24.660 from my

00:34:24.920 experience

00:34:25.300 I'm looking

00:34:25.820 for flaws

00:34:26.320 I'm actually

00:34:28.140 looking for

00:34:28.500 someone who

00:34:28.980 wears their

00:34:29.540 flaws on their

00:34:30.120 sleeve rather

00:34:30.640 than hides it

00:34:31.360 because

00:34:31.620 when you're

00:34:32.920 going into

00:34:33.600 you know

00:34:34.360 when we're

00:34:34.680 looking for a

00:34:35.120 spouse

00:34:35.340 we constantly

00:34:36.240 we always

00:34:37.180 put perfections

00:34:38.340 above flaws

00:34:39.380 I think this is

00:34:40.220 why a lot of

00:34:40.560 people make

00:34:40.780 mistakes

00:34:41.200 they're looking

00:34:41.800 for

00:34:42.000 okay

00:34:42.300 he's perfect

00:34:43.640 in this aspect

00:34:44.460 he's perfect

00:34:44.960 in this area

00:34:45.640 he's perfectly

00:34:46.280 doing this

00:34:46.740 he's perfectly

00:34:47.100 doing his dean

00:34:47.840 like we spoke

00:34:48.480 about

00:34:48.760 he looks

00:34:49.480 he's got the

00:34:50.080 throw bomb

00:34:50.460 the kufi 0.89

00:34:51.100 but the man's

00:34:52.180 doing a madness

00:34:52.600 in the background

00:34:53.200 do you understand

00:34:54.040 yeah so you're

00:34:54.860 looking for

00:34:55.240 authenticity

00:34:55.800 yeah

00:34:56.680 not necessarily

00:34:58.060 authenticity

00:34:58.640 I just want

00:34:59.660 people to be

00:35:00.360 mindful

00:35:00.920 and be

00:35:02.260 where their

00:35:03.620 discomfort

00:35:04.100 standing in your

00:35:05.800 discomfort

00:35:06.180 I know

00:35:06.540 if you're

00:35:07.120 not

00:35:07.380 let me just

00:35:08.440 say this

00:35:09.300 if you're

00:35:09.540 not perfect

00:35:10.180 that's okay

00:35:11.360 just be okay

00:35:12.680 not being

00:35:13.120 perfect

00:35:13.480 but when you

00:35:14.420 try to come

00:35:15.160 across as

00:35:15.720 perfect

00:35:16.100 and I've

00:35:17.080 got all this

00:35:17.580 in order

00:35:17.940 and that

00:35:18.200 in order

00:35:18.560 and oh yeah

00:35:19.140 I've got this

00:35:19.740 going on

00:35:20.040 it's like

00:35:21.440 you're selling

00:35:21.760 a delusion

00:35:22.340 a fake

00:35:22.960 illusion

00:35:23.340 to somebody

00:35:23.920 but if

00:35:24.540 someone comes

00:35:25.060 to me

00:35:25.300 and says

00:35:25.660 look

00:35:26.060 I'm not

00:35:27.240 perfect

00:35:27.580 I don't

00:35:28.940 have a lot

00:35:29.540 of money

00:35:29.840 I don't

00:35:30.340 have this

00:35:30.720 I'm more

00:35:31.560 inclined to

00:35:33.300 accept that

00:35:33.900 than someone

00:35:34.580 who's trying

00:35:35.120 to paint a

00:35:35.660 perfect picture

00:35:36.180 to me

00:35:36.520 and be

00:35:37.740 something that

00:35:38.280 they think

00:35:38.700 I want

00:35:39.260 just be

00:35:40.300 just wear

00:35:40.820 your flaws

00:35:41.340 like I'm

00:35:41.740 not perfect

00:35:42.360 I've got

00:35:43.040 no feel

00:35:43.400 towel

00:35:43.680 at the best

00:35:44.860 of times

00:35:45.380 but I'd

00:35:46.500 rather you

00:35:46.980 accept me

00:35:47.500 as that

00:35:47.840 because that's

00:35:48.260 what you're

00:35:48.520 going to

00:35:48.720 actually get

00:35:49.440 to get it

00:35:50.140 so if a

00:35:51.140 guy comes

00:35:51.700 and he's

00:35:52.760 wearing his

00:35:53.400 flaws on his

00:35:54.000 sleeves

00:35:54.280 as bad as

00:35:54.820 it sounds

00:35:55.440 you're more

00:35:57.180 likely going to

00:35:57.660 accept that

00:35:58.080 from the

00:35:58.320 person

00:35:58.380 but that

00:35:58.880 doesn't

00:35:59.140 sound bad

00:35:59.600 because there's

00:36:00.500 a level of

00:36:01.080 humility

00:36:01.580 in you

00:36:03.440 saying look

00:36:04.320 like I will

00:36:06.280 provide

00:36:06.900 let's say

00:36:07.660 for example

00:36:08.460 let's say

00:36:08.720 a man says

00:36:09.120 I will

00:36:09.480 provide you

00:36:10.600 all your

00:36:11.400 rights

00:36:12.960 but then I do

00:36:13.940 have like

00:36:14.420 let's say I do

00:36:15.240 have some

00:36:15.580 character flaws

00:36:16.300 that I am

00:36:17.320 working on

00:36:18.440 you are

00:36:19.800 you're more

00:36:20.520 willing to

00:36:21.060 accept that

00:36:22.220 because for

00:36:23.500 me what's

00:36:24.140 important is

00:36:24.920 that you

00:36:25.620 accept and

00:36:26.780 you acknowledge

00:36:27.320 that you have

00:36:28.000 these flaws

00:36:28.500 and it takes

00:36:29.760 a strong

00:36:31.000 person to do

00:36:31.780 that

00:36:32.000 because you've

00:36:32.960 looked inwards

00:36:34.000 and you're like

00:36:34.340 okay these are

00:36:35.200 the things I

00:36:36.240 need to work

00:36:36.920 on and I do

00:36:37.920 lack it

00:36:38.500 like you've

00:36:39.300 acknowledged that

00:36:39.840 to yourself

00:36:40.280 and that to me

00:36:41.180 shows growth

00:36:42.140 and being open

00:36:43.180 about it

00:36:43.640 I just feel

00:36:44.080 like a man

00:36:44.740 is that who

00:36:45.460 he comes and

00:36:46.140 is open and

00:36:46.960 honest and is

00:36:48.260 accountable and

00:36:49.000 he's responsible

00:36:49.600 for his flaws

00:36:50.380 accountability

00:36:51.100 his weaknesses

00:36:52.180 that's so

00:36:53.260 attractive

00:36:53.720 the word

00:36:54.680 is accountability

00:36:55.520 for me I'd

00:36:57.320 rather choose

00:36:57.880 that man over

00:36:58.640 the man that's

00:36:59.260 pretending

00:36:59.680 you're just

00:37:00.120 faking it

00:37:01.180 you're faking

00:37:01.820 it to make

00:37:02.280 some of them

00:37:03.480 do get through

00:37:04.060 the hoop

00:37:04.560 but they don't

00:37:05.220 have a good

00:37:05.540 landing

00:37:05.880 do you get

00:37:06.860 it you get

00:37:07.380 through the hoop

00:37:07.860 with the lies

00:37:08.540 it's true

00:37:09.260 and it's about

00:37:09.860 managing expectations

00:37:11.100 I feel like

00:37:11.700 when you over

00:37:12.560 inflate the

00:37:15.500 expectations

00:37:16.260 of the you know

00:37:17.740 whatever the

00:37:18.400 other person

00:37:18.940 the wife

00:37:19.860 you know

00:37:20.440 is expecting

00:37:21.100 and you live

00:37:22.240 up to those

00:37:23.020 her expectations

00:37:24.660 because she's

00:37:25.420 been honest

00:37:26.420 with what she

00:37:26.920 wants and

00:37:27.440 you've actually

00:37:28.420 been dishonest

00:37:29.480 by over

00:37:30.460 inflating the

00:37:31.100 reality

00:37:31.560 you're going to

00:37:32.620 face the

00:37:32.980 disappointment

00:37:33.500 later on

00:37:34.700 in the

00:37:35.140 marriage

00:37:35.680 and that's

00:37:36.660 when it's

00:37:37.000 going to

00:37:37.160 start to

00:37:37.520 crumble

00:37:37.800 because she's

00:37:38.460 going to

00:37:38.800 feel deceived

00:37:39.540 and that's

00:37:40.560 what it

00:37:41.000 comes down

00:37:41.460 to

00:37:41.640 no one

00:37:42.080 wants to

00:37:42.440 deal with

00:37:42.800 deceit

00:37:43.360 and it's

00:37:44.160 going to

00:37:45.320 put into

00:37:45.720 question

00:37:46.200 other aspects

00:37:47.320 if she's

00:37:48.200 coming to

00:37:48.660 the marriage

00:37:49.100 with the

00:37:49.700 expectations

00:37:50.320 that you've

00:37:51.200 presented to

00:37:52.300 her

00:37:52.740 fulfilled her

00:37:54.200 at the

00:37:54.880 time

00:37:55.280 and then

00:37:55.700 that's not

00:37:56.100 the reality

00:37:56.700 it's not

00:37:57.880 going to

00:37:58.340 last long

00:37:58.900 term

00:37:59.300 there's only

00:38:00.020 so much

00:38:00.580 true

00:38:00.900 you're going

00:38:01.820 to break

00:38:02.360 that person

00:38:03.080 down

00:38:03.600 and she

00:38:04.860 will exit

00:38:05.500 the marriage

00:38:06.060 and you

00:38:07.160 know it's

00:38:07.940 so don't

00:38:08.540 don't sell

00:38:09.000 a lie is

00:38:09.520 essentially

00:38:09.940 what I'm

00:38:10.380 saying

00:38:10.600 like sister

00:38:11.960 said you

00:38:13.220 just be

00:38:14.120 honest with

00:38:14.680 who you

00:38:14.960 are there

00:38:15.320 will be

00:38:15.720 someone that

00:38:16.680 will be

00:38:17.340 accepting

00:38:18.320 and understanding

00:38:19.400 of whatever

00:38:20.020 situation you

00:38:21.060 have whether

00:38:21.500 it's that

00:38:21.920 you know you

00:38:22.800 have a job

00:38:23.580 that is not

00:38:24.460 as well paid

00:38:25.120 as you would

00:38:25.580 hope you know

00:38:26.400 Allah will

00:38:26.780 provide later

00:38:27.400 on if you

00:38:27.940 have that

00:38:28.260 mindset

00:38:28.680 and she's

00:38:29.720 she has

00:38:30.320 that mindset

00:38:30.800 you're going

00:38:31.220 to match

00:38:31.640 but to

00:38:32.320 pretend that

00:38:33.880 you're earning

00:38:34.780 x amount

00:38:35.440 and that

00:38:35.780 you're going

00:38:36.100 to be taken

00:38:36.600 on free

00:38:37.300 holidays a

00:38:37.920 year

00:38:38.220 only for

00:38:39.280 her to 0.94

00:38:39.740 be brought

00:38:40.480 into that

00:38:41.000 because that's

00:38:41.620 what she

00:38:42.060 wants

00:38:42.500 you know

00:38:42.740 I'm saying

00:38:43.040 it's me

00:38:43.480 but it's

00:38:45.260 and then

00:38:46.060 you not

00:38:46.740 fulfilling

00:38:47.180 that

00:38:47.660 then it's

00:38:49.000 going to

00:38:49.200 cause

00:38:49.400 arguments

00:38:49.920 and that's

00:38:50.320 when she's

00:38:50.620 going to

00:38:50.800 start

00:38:51.000 disrespecting

00:38:51.820 you

00:38:51.980 and once

00:38:52.400 the disrespect

00:38:53.900 comes in

00:38:54.640 it breaks

00:38:57.780 everything

00:38:58.200 else down

00:38:58.920 and then

00:39:00.300 that's when

00:39:00.580 the arguments

00:39:01.080 start

00:39:01.500 and that's

00:39:01.760 when the

00:39:02.000 peace

00:39:02.300 goes

00:39:02.700 and you

00:39:03.820 know

00:39:03.980 it's

00:39:04.360 literally

00:39:05.100 a domino

00:39:05.840 effect

00:39:06.300 of things

00:39:07.440 that come

00:39:08.120 from you

00:39:08.680 not portraying

00:39:09.480 yourself

00:39:09.800 in the way

00:39:10.280 that you

00:39:11.000 realistically

00:39:11.660 should

00:39:12.220 exactly

00:39:13.240 the underlying

00:39:13.900 problem

00:39:14.400 in that

00:39:15.080 is the fact

00:39:16.100 that you're

00:39:16.400 being deceitful

00:39:17.380 exactly

00:39:17.820 you're painting

00:39:18.720 a picture

00:39:19.260 that doesn't

00:39:19.860 exist

00:39:20.420 you're

00:39:20.820 you're

00:39:21.640 you're creating

00:39:22.660 an image

00:39:23.560 in her head

00:39:24.680 what the

00:39:25.760 your future

00:39:26.860 marriage is

00:39:27.900 going to be

00:39:28.220 like

00:39:28.540 you did

00:39:29.500 that

00:39:29.760 and so

00:39:30.220 then if

00:39:30.620 it all

00:39:31.120 comes crashing

00:39:31.740 down

00:39:32.180 you're going

00:39:33.040 to have

00:39:33.200 to face

00:39:33.540 it

00:39:33.800 you can't

00:39:34.540 like

00:39:34.800 you can't

00:39:36.240 just like

00:39:36.660 then be

00:39:37.460 like oh

00:39:37.820 well

00:39:38.080 no but

00:39:39.040 you

00:39:39.180 you created

00:39:40.100 that reality

00:39:41.200 in her head

00:39:41.660 so then you

00:39:42.040 now you're

00:39:42.540 going to have

00:39:42.720 to you're

00:39:43.180 going to have

00:39:43.360 to deal

00:39:43.600 with it

00:39:44.140 so rather

00:39:44.920 than if

00:39:45.740 you want

00:39:46.000 to avoid

00:39:46.420 that just

00:39:46.940 just be

00:39:47.360 fully

00:39:47.780 fully honest

00:39:48.620 be yourself

00:39:49.100 someone doesn't

00:39:49.820 want to

00:39:50.000 accept it

00:39:50.620 like they're

00:39:52.220 not for you

00:39:52.680 then they're

00:39:53.120 not for you

00:39:53.820 okay so

00:39:54.220 what I want

00:39:54.900 to add

00:39:55.380 okay

00:39:55.840 yeah

00:39:56.240 another point

00:39:57.140 that I've just

00:39:57.600 thought of

00:39:58.020 yeah go on

00:39:58.600 another thing

00:40:00.620 I personally

00:40:02.960 look for in a

00:40:03.880 man is

00:40:04.860 someone with

00:40:05.420 good character

00:40:06.100 and what I

00:40:06.680 mean by that

00:40:07.280 is specifically

00:40:09.020 how do you

00:40:11.160 treat me

00:40:11.680 when you're

00:40:12.240 angry

00:40:12.540 how are you

00:40:13.520 going to

00:40:13.760 treat me

00:40:14.140 if you've

00:40:14.760 just had a

00:40:15.460 disagreement

00:40:16.200 are you

00:40:17.480 going to

00:40:18.420 like

00:40:18.700 completely

00:40:19.500 like abandon

00:40:20.640 me and not

00:40:21.240 care about me

00:40:21.740 in that moment

00:40:22.260 or are you

00:40:23.320 still going to

00:40:23.780 be just

00:40:24.740 kind

00:40:25.740 and caring

00:40:26.400 that's so

00:40:26.980 important

00:40:27.360 because obviously

00:40:27.860 coming from a

00:40:28.360 background of

00:40:28.900 my mum being 0.98

00:40:30.060 like full of

00:40:31.320 rage

00:40:32.060 and my

00:40:33.400 coping mechanism

00:40:34.340 was just to

00:40:34.900 avoid it

00:40:35.440 completely

00:40:36.080 yeah

00:40:36.380 I need a

00:40:37.500 man to

00:40:38.000 have emotional

00:40:39.720 intelligence

00:40:40.320 when it comes

00:40:40.980 to anger

00:40:41.460 because that's

00:40:42.580 that's

00:40:43.840 first of all

00:40:44.520 that's traumatic

00:40:44.960 for kids to

00:40:45.720 watch that

00:40:46.160 and I don't

00:40:46.640 want that

00:40:47.060 and second

00:40:48.200 of all

00:40:48.580 it's just

00:40:49.160 it's important

00:40:50.320 for like a

00:40:50.820 good healthy

00:40:51.380 relationship

00:40:52.080 that's what

00:40:53.960 I would say

00:40:54.380 and also

00:40:54.820 to add to

00:40:55.480 that

00:40:55.720 how do you

00:40:56.840 treat other

00:40:57.200 people

00:40:57.640 in the sense

00:40:59.360 that the

00:41:00.080 cleaner

00:41:00.380 in that

00:41:01.300 restaurant

00:41:01.680 or the

00:41:01.960 waitress

00:41:02.420 compared to

00:41:02.900 that business

00:41:03.360 one

00:41:03.680 is there

00:41:04.880 a hierarchy

00:41:05.600 in your

00:41:05.940 head

00:41:06.200 or do you

00:41:07.220 see everyone

00:41:07.620 as the same

00:41:08.060 level including

00:41:08.560 yourself

00:41:09.000 and that's

00:41:09.900 something really

00:41:10.960 important for me

00:41:11.540 yeah

00:41:11.860 you know

00:41:12.520 what you just

00:41:13.360 said

00:41:13.520 it's really

00:41:14.220 important

00:41:14.740 we forget

00:41:15.860 about the

00:41:16.260 character

00:41:16.680 we always

00:41:18.340 forget

00:41:18.640 but the

00:41:19.300 character

00:41:19.600 is so

00:41:20.060 important

00:41:20.640 how you

00:41:22.980 how you

00:41:24.660 decide to

00:41:25.240 deal with

00:41:25.720 certain type

00:41:26.280 of situations

00:41:27.160 reflects a lot

00:41:28.780 on your

00:41:29.220 character

00:41:29.760 and I can't

00:41:30.560 emphasize it

00:41:31.200 enough

00:41:31.560 I can't

00:41:32.060 I just

00:41:32.500 can't

00:41:32.860 and also

00:41:33.380 like

00:41:33.700 what are

00:41:34.300 you doing

00:41:34.740 like

00:41:35.080 for me

00:41:36.400 personally

00:41:37.060 I

00:41:37.880 like

00:41:38.480 I need

00:41:39.380 a man

00:41:39.780 to be

00:41:40.400 striving

00:41:40.760 in the

00:41:41.040 way of

00:41:41.320 Allah

00:41:41.580 like

00:41:42.100 you

00:41:42.520 I just

00:41:43.060 you cannot

00:41:43.740 be a

00:41:44.420 regular

00:41:44.760 Muslim

00:41:45.240 who just

00:41:46.580 like

00:41:46.980 who just

00:41:49.020 you know

00:41:49.700 does the

00:41:50.440 basics

00:41:50.960 and the

00:41:51.380 bare

00:41:51.640 minimum

00:41:52.020 and then

00:41:52.480 you live

00:41:52.900 your life

00:41:53.520 doing the

00:41:54.280 basics

00:41:54.600 bare

00:41:54.920 minimum

00:41:55.620 like

00:41:55.940 what are

00:41:56.700 you doing

00:41:57.160 to serve

00:41:57.740 the

00:41:57.880 ummah

00:41:58.220 like

00:41:58.560 one thing

00:41:58.980 I want to

00:41:59.200 add to that

00:41:59.600 sorry

00:41:59.860 is just

00:42:01.720 to let

00:42:02.120 you know

00:42:02.700 we only

00:42:03.360 expect

00:42:03.920 what we

00:42:04.360 have

00:42:04.680 I think

00:42:05.040 that's

00:42:05.260 only fair

00:42:05.780 you should

00:42:07.000 never expect

00:42:07.820 something

00:42:08.580 in a

00:42:09.340 spouse

00:42:09.780 if you

00:42:10.300 don't

00:42:11.320 embody

00:42:11.800 it

00:42:12.200 if you've

00:42:12.680 never

00:42:12.840 embodied

00:42:13.360 it

00:42:13.540 yourself

00:42:13.820 yeah

00:42:14.080 yeah

00:42:14.240 yeah

00:42:14.400 of course

00:42:15.120 that's how

00:42:16.000 I see it

00:42:16.580 I expect

00:42:17.840 things that

00:42:18.380 I am

00:42:18.860 the level

00:42:19.480 I'm at

00:42:19.880 I obviously

00:42:20.380 want you

00:42:20.640 a bit

00:42:20.800 higher

00:42:21.140 because you're

00:42:21.800 a leader

00:42:22.120 my thing

00:42:23.720 it differs

00:42:25.540 because I don't

00:42:27.240 understand and

00:42:28.180 I'll never

00:42:28.460 understand how

00:42:29.200 somebody can

00:42:30.160 have a

00:42:30.480 preference

00:42:31.020 okay you can

00:42:31.840 have a

00:42:32.060 preference

00:42:32.380 okay that was 1.00

00:42:33.100 a bit stupid 1.00

00:42:33.480 but you can 1.00

00:42:33.800 have a

00:42:34.020 preference

00:42:34.280 but to go

00:42:35.480 into so much

00:42:36.020 detail about

00:42:36.660 preference

00:42:37.020 when you've

00:42:37.600 never been

00:42:37.940 married

00:42:38.300 is what

00:42:39.000 interests

00:42:39.380 me

00:42:39.640 and no

00:42:41.240 this is to

00:42:42.080 us females

00:42:42.620 like how

00:42:43.760 do you know

00:42:44.340 what you want

00:42:44.720 in a man

00:42:45.140 let's leave

00:42:45.840 Islam to

00:42:46.360 decide

00:42:46.780 that's a

00:42:47.900 cop out

00:42:48.300 for me

00:42:48.640 I want him

00:42:49.440 to be a

00:42:49.720 good brother

00:42:50.080 on his

00:42:50.380 dean

00:42:50.600 that's a

00:42:51.340 cop out

00:42:51.780 yeah

00:42:52.300 what is it

00:42:53.080 you're looking

00:42:53.400 for

00:42:53.840 realistically

00:42:54.520 if you've

00:42:55.300 never experienced

00:42:55.980 a husband

00:42:56.760 like every woman 0.98

00:42:58.240 is so different

00:42:59.080 perhaps maybe

00:43:00.120 is there something

00:43:00.940 about yourself

00:43:01.620 that you like

00:43:02.360 and you think

00:43:03.120 this is what

00:43:03.760 I want

00:43:04.260 so you've

00:43:05.280 actually recognised

00:43:06.120 your positive

00:43:06.840 traits

00:43:07.320 that's what we

00:43:08.360 tend to do

00:43:09.020 exactly

00:43:09.560 we tend to do

00:43:10.260 and we kind of

00:43:10.840 project that onto

00:43:11.460 the person

00:43:11.900 and if they don't

00:43:12.840 match that

00:43:13.500 it's like okay

00:43:14.380 well he's the 0.99

00:43:15.020 psycho 0.99

00:43:15.300 he's this

00:43:15.720 he's that

00:43:16.020 he's shaitan

00:43:17.460 he's not

00:43:17.740 he's not

00:43:18.040 compatibility

00:43:18.500 but it's like

00:43:19.260 yeah but you're

00:43:19.980 looking for yourself

00:43:20.840 okay so now

00:43:24.900 we're going to be

00:43:25.380 reacting to

00:43:26.480 what the brother

00:43:27.700 said from the

00:43:28.260 other podcast

00:43:28.940 okay so sisters

00:43:31.440 we've just had a

00:43:32.140 discussion

00:43:32.600 on what we

00:43:34.300 look for in a

00:43:35.060 husband

00:43:35.340 and we've

00:43:37.500 concluded

00:43:38.000 that

00:43:38.900 we look for

00:43:40.860 a provider

00:43:41.720 someone with

00:43:43.300 good character

00:43:44.000 someone that

00:43:45.580 offers security

00:43:46.440 gives respect

00:43:48.140 and is

00:43:48.760 compassionate

00:43:49.240 so that's

00:43:51.660 our five

00:43:52.380 overall

00:43:54.000 conclusions

00:43:54.560 and we're

00:43:55.660 going to

00:43:55.960 compare it

00:43:56.440 now with

00:43:57.000 what the

00:43:57.440 brother said

00:43:58.020 what they

00:43:59.560 think we

00:44:00.900 want in a

00:44:01.980 husband

00:44:02.520 so

00:44:03.340 if we

00:44:04.880 just

00:44:05.280 so what

00:44:06.860 the brothers

00:44:07.320 have said

00:44:08.000 what they

00:44:08.520 think that

00:44:09.560 women want 1.00

00:44:10.560 in a man

00:44:11.120 is

00:44:11.920 honesty

00:44:13.500 wealth

00:44:14.980 security

00:44:16.720 status

00:44:18.380 and

00:44:19.480 character

00:44:20.220 we'll find

00:44:21.900 out if

00:44:22.240 they're right

00:44:22.700 everything but

00:44:25.400 status I think

00:44:26.180 women compromise 0.99

00:44:26.900 on that a lot

00:44:27.860 I think everything

00:44:29.140 else is spot on

00:44:30.100 but the status

00:44:31.260 yeah we don't

00:44:31.760 really care about

00:44:32.260 status

00:44:32.540 no they do

00:44:33.480 some women do 1.00

00:44:34.240 it just I feel

00:44:34.860 like that

00:44:35.360 there is

00:44:36.420 it's something

00:44:37.380 we will compromise

00:44:38.380 on

00:44:38.620 what do we

00:44:39.160 mean by

00:44:39.560 status I don't

00:44:40.360 get that

00:44:40.720 like a social

00:44:41.760 status like

00:44:42.820 he's somebody

00:44:44.000 in society

00:44:44.800 I don't really

00:44:45.340 care about that

00:44:45.920 I don't care

00:44:47.080 about that

00:44:47.400 can I just

00:44:48.000 throw a question

00:44:49.020 out there

00:44:49.360 just to

00:44:49.940 explore this

00:44:51.220 idea

00:44:51.600 if you got

00:44:53.100 two suitors

00:44:54.120 yeah

00:44:54.660 right and they

00:44:55.620 were both

00:44:56.120 exactly the same

00:44:57.000 yeah

00:44:57.260 one was the

00:44:59.280 CEO of a

00:44:59.880 company

00:45:00.240 yeah

00:45:00.660 and one

00:45:01.620 was an IT

00:45:02.940 manager somewhere

00:45:03.780 yeah

00:45:04.240 so good

00:45:05.280 roles

00:45:05.980 yeah

00:45:06.360 which one

00:45:07.740 would you

00:45:07.940 choose

00:45:08.180 okay let me

00:45:08.660 tell you

00:45:08.960 the CEO

00:45:09.400 no

00:45:10.280 I'm going

00:45:11.640 for him

00:45:11.980 it depends

00:45:12.680 on his

00:45:12.960 character

00:45:13.240 it depends

00:45:13.780 on every

00:45:15.060 other part

00:45:15.740 before I tell

00:45:16.640 you

00:45:16.740 they're both

00:45:17.900 exactly the

00:45:18.720 same

00:45:19.100 in all other

00:45:20.100 categories

00:45:21.000 the only

00:45:22.140 difference

00:45:22.620 between the

00:45:23.180 two

00:45:23.480 is that one's

00:45:24.320 the CEO

00:45:24.740 of a company

00:45:25.340 and the other

00:45:26.100 one you know

00:45:26.900 works in a

00:45:27.520 it has a

00:45:29.100 low status

00:45:30.100 role

00:45:30.540 I'm just

00:45:30.880 going to put

00:45:31.240 it in

00:45:31.520 inverted

00:45:31.820 commas

00:45:32.060 I don't

00:45:32.300 want anyone

00:45:32.500 to get

00:45:32.680 offended

00:45:32.960 because I

00:45:33.520 don't see

00:45:33.900 that as

00:45:34.220 negative

00:45:34.680 one's the

00:45:36.660 CEO

00:45:36.920 and one

00:45:37.840 is running

00:45:38.820 the IT

00:45:39.240 department

00:45:39.540 I mean if you

00:45:40.000 say it like

00:45:40.420 that I would

00:45:40.880 pick the

00:45:41.280 CEO

00:45:41.640 yeah yeah

00:45:42.340 I get what

00:45:43.100 you're saying

00:45:43.400 ladies does 1.00

00:45:43.660 matter

00:45:44.060 Canada does 0.66

00:45:44.980 to be honest

00:45:45.420 yeah

00:45:45.940 but like I

00:45:47.780 said it does

00:45:48.480 matter it

00:45:49.120 really does

00:45:49.720 but I feel like

00:45:50.680 it's something

00:45:51.060 women do 1.00

00:45:51.900 compromise on

00:45:52.700 and they

00:45:53.120 regret it

00:45:53.640 sorry I have

00:45:54.800 to just throw

00:45:55.180 that in there

00:45:55.660 they will be

00:45:56.400 like oh my god

00:45:56.920 why did I

00:45:57.260 marry the

00:45:57.740 guy that's

00:45:59.060 not

00:45:59.300 because it's

00:46:01.180 true

00:46:01.560 when you have

00:46:02.680 like a more

00:46:03.320 when you have

00:46:04.760 that goal

00:46:06.720 driven mind

00:46:07.800 because if

00:46:08.640 you're a CEO

00:46:09.340 then it shows

00:46:11.060 that you have

00:46:11.720 like you have

00:46:12.960 a higher standard

00:46:13.760 in life

00:46:14.620 whereas the

00:46:16.280 other person

00:46:16.900 doesn't

00:46:17.760 no but

00:46:18.180 if they're an

00:46:18.960 IT manager

00:46:19.640 they might be

00:46:20.180 on the journey

00:46:20.720 to CEO

00:46:21.340 but at that

00:46:22.380 moment in time

00:46:23.460 they've not

00:46:24.280 reached it yet

00:46:25.000 the other person

00:46:25.980 has reached that

00:46:26.900 I agree

00:46:27.420 I agree

00:46:28.360 but they're

00:46:29.160 all like

00:46:29.720 the exact

00:46:30.680 same in

00:46:31.320 character

00:46:31.740 Dean and

00:46:32.340 everything

00:46:32.660 I feel like

00:46:33.380 I feel like

00:46:34.020 why

00:46:34.300 I feel like

00:46:35.800 we pick

00:46:36.200 status

00:46:36.600 because it's

00:46:37.680 like

00:46:38.020 respect thing

00:46:40.220 we feel like

00:46:40.780 we admire

00:46:41.580 this man a bit

00:46:42.200 more

00:46:42.280 I get what

00:46:42.640 you're saying

00:46:42.920 actually now

00:46:43.420 I get it

00:46:43.820 oh my god

00:46:44.200 yeah I

00:46:44.540 understand

00:46:44.860 where you're

00:46:45.180 coming from

00:46:45.620 yeah yeah

00:46:46.920 it's like

00:46:47.520 oh yeah

00:46:47.880 my husband's

00:46:48.880 the CEO

00:46:49.360 of this company

00:46:50.080 let's be honest

00:46:52.240 women do 1.00

00:46:52.840 if you've had

00:46:53.360 any gatherings

00:46:54.160 women do sit 1.00

00:46:55.340 there

00:46:55.640 and they'll be

00:46:56.420 praising their

00:46:57.000 husband

00:46:57.300 my husband

00:46:58.540 he's got this

00:46:59.140 he's got a new

00:46:59.640 car

00:46:59.980 you know

00:47:00.680 they do it

00:47:01.440 we do it

00:47:02.380 we actually do

00:47:03.140 because you feel

00:47:03.460 proud

00:47:03.760 it's your spouse

00:47:04.520 yeah it's pride

00:47:05.500 and it's you know

00:47:06.320 it's good pride

00:47:07.260 it's good pride

00:47:08.340 so that's why

00:47:09.480 they would go for

00:47:10.060 status but

00:47:10.680 status is something

00:47:12.020 they compromise on

00:47:13.120 I'm not gonna lie

00:47:13.860 we do

00:47:14.280 we will be like

00:47:15.120 he may have all

00:47:16.660 of the other

00:47:17.220 essential stuff

00:47:18.020 that you just

00:47:18.540 said there

00:47:19.200 but then they'll

00:47:20.160 say okay

00:47:20.580 he might not be

00:47:21.480 you know

00:47:22.080 the boss of his

00:47:22.940 company but at

00:47:23.760 least he's humble

00:47:24.480 at least he's good

00:47:25.300 at least he's kind

00:47:26.220 do you know

00:47:26.880 I mean like

00:47:27.280 all the other

00:47:27.800 things make up

00:47:28.540 for that

00:47:28.980 okay

00:47:29.520 it's a big

00:47:30.020 loss

00:47:30.460 yes he's

00:47:31.200 he's not the

00:47:32.060 boss

00:47:32.400 but at least

00:47:33.440 he treats me

00:47:34.000 good

00:47:34.260 so that's why

00:47:35.120 I mean like

00:47:35.460 as long as

00:47:36.340 all the other

00:47:36.860 things are

00:47:37.420 he's doing

00:47:37.980 all the other

00:47:38.420 stuff

00:47:39.280 the woman's 0.98

00:47:40.120 willing to say

00:47:40.660 okay I don't

00:47:41.260 really care about

00:47:41.880 the status

00:47:42.320 because he's

00:47:43.700 covering all the

00:47:44.860 other things

00:47:45.240 that you mentioned

00:47:45.740 you know

00:47:46.120 it was interesting

00:47:47.160 that I've

00:47:47.660 noticed

00:47:47.920 I'm looking at

00:47:48.460 the list right

00:47:48.980 now

00:47:49.300 one thing

00:47:50.900 that the

00:47:51.720 brothers have

00:47:52.440 forgotten to

00:47:53.340 mention is

00:47:54.320 what women 1.00

00:47:56.180 want is

00:47:57.520 we want

00:47:58.080 compassion

00:47:58.580 and we want

00:47:59.380 we want love

00:48:00.320 and we want

00:48:00.920 all those

00:48:01.840 emotions

00:48:02.500 all the emotions

00:48:03.600 and like we want

00:48:04.400 to be acknowledged

00:48:05.020 we want to be seen

00:48:05.940 we want to be told

00:48:06.940 like we're the most

00:48:07.520 beautiful like 0.97

00:48:08.340 freaking woman 1.00

00:48:09.060 in the world 0.55

00:48:09.740 like

00:48:09.900 okay

00:48:10.640 I want to ask

00:48:12.260 a question

00:48:12.700 I want to ask

00:48:13.800 a question

00:48:14.140 to all of you

00:48:14.760 guys

00:48:15.080 yeah

00:48:15.440 what does

00:48:16.480 compassion

00:48:17.500 and reassurance

00:48:18.380 look like to you

00:48:19.200 what is different

00:48:20.160 for every woman

00:48:20.720 and I think

00:48:21.920 I'm glad you asked

00:48:23.100 that because

00:48:23.760 I think on the

00:48:24.380 last show

00:48:24.800 they mentioned

00:48:25.380 about what

00:48:25.820 the breakdown

00:48:27.460 I was trying

00:48:29.280 to elaborate

00:48:29.720 on when women 0.99

00:48:31.000 when you're

00:48:31.340 married

00:48:31.700 and you're

00:48:32.280 married to a

00:48:32.680 man

00:48:32.880 and you're

00:48:33.480 going through

00:48:34.020 anyone that's

00:48:34.640 experienced

00:48:34.960 childbirth

00:48:35.640 or having

00:48:36.560 a child

00:48:37.080 or postnatal

00:48:38.680 or just

00:48:39.740 trying to

00:48:40.220 conceive

00:48:40.540 and all these

00:48:41.140 hard things

00:48:42.300 that women 0.97

00:48:42.620 have to go

00:48:43.080 through

00:48:43.380 if the man

00:48:45.400 is not

00:48:45.720 compassionate

00:48:46.220 in those

00:48:46.660 times

00:48:46.960 and doesn't

00:48:47.360 show you

00:48:47.660 support

00:48:48.180 for me

00:48:48.620 that's what

00:48:49.240 compassion

00:48:49.660 and empathy

00:48:50.160 looks like

00:48:50.740 inside of

00:48:51.420 a marriage

00:48:52.020 institution

00:48:52.600 if the man

00:48:53.560 doesn't show

00:48:54.060 that

00:48:54.340 then for me

00:48:55.500 that's not

00:48:55.960 love

00:48:56.320 what is that

00:48:56.840 specifically

00:48:57.380 what

00:48:57.880 when you just

00:48:59.120 said what

00:48:59.400 does that

00:48:59.760 look like

00:49:00.320 it looks

00:49:00.740 like that

00:49:01.180 when a man

00:49:01.600 shows it

00:49:02.100 I get what

00:49:03.280 you're saying

00:49:03.540 so what

00:49:03.980 you're basically

00:49:04.440 saying

00:49:04.800 when you're

00:49:05.340 going

00:49:05.600 when you're

00:49:06.240 at the most

00:49:06.900 vulnerable

00:49:07.400 time in your

00:49:08.180 life

00:49:08.440 not even

00:49:09.000 always

00:49:09.360 vulnerable

00:49:09.800 like

00:49:10.640 for him

00:49:11.560 to just

00:49:12.100 show

00:49:14.720 that he

00:49:15.560 sees you

00:49:17.140 I see you

00:49:18.600 and I see

00:49:19.160 what you're

00:49:19.580 going through

00:49:20.300 and I'm

00:49:21.840 here for you

00:49:22.480 and I love

00:49:24.580 you through it

00:49:25.560 that's what

00:49:26.100 we want to

00:49:26.500 hear

00:49:26.740 I feel like

00:49:27.600 that's when

00:49:28.080 a man

00:49:28.360 should be

00:49:28.620 showing

00:49:28.800 compassion

00:49:29.320 you shouldn't

00:49:30.480 expect it

00:49:30.940 every day

00:49:31.460 all the time

00:49:32.240 no

00:49:32.600 kindness

00:49:33.880 every day

00:49:34.460 all the time

00:49:35.040 yeah

00:49:35.340 that's respect

00:49:36.720 as well

00:49:37.180 but compassion

00:49:38.320 when we talk

00:49:38.600 about compassion

00:49:39.080 and empathy

00:49:39.680 there's

00:49:40.280 specific times

00:49:41.160 to show

00:49:41.540 that

00:49:41.780 when the

00:49:42.240 wife's

00:49:42.540 stressed

00:49:42.820 out

00:49:43.120 or she's

00:49:43.500 going

00:49:43.680 through

00:49:43.860 madness

00:49:44.200 that's

00:49:44.960 when the

00:49:45.180 man

00:49:45.300 needs

00:49:45.500 to show

00:49:45.800 that

00:49:45.980 so for me

00:49:46.420 that's what

00:49:46.780 it looks

00:49:47.060 like

00:49:47.340 from a man 0.83

00:49:48.720 I agree

00:49:49.480 with that

00:49:49.880 I would also

00:49:50.580 say

00:49:51.000 compassion

00:49:51.940 should be

00:49:52.700 how you're

00:49:53.540 talking

00:49:53.940 because if

00:49:55.100 you're just

00:49:55.400 compassionate

00:49:55.980 compassionate

00:49:57.500 sorry

00:49:57.840 just certain

00:50:00.180 times

00:50:01.080 because it's

00:50:01.640 needed

00:50:01.900 it's fine

00:50:02.380 that's great

00:50:02.960 but it should

00:50:04.040 be like

00:50:04.500 just your

00:50:05.320 tone of voice

00:50:06.020 it should be

00:50:06.480 in your tone

00:50:06.820 of voice

00:50:07.140 every time

00:50:07.560 you speak

00:50:07.900 because

00:50:08.300 even if you

00:50:09.620 speak harshly

00:50:10.640 at a time

00:50:11.400 the woman 0.98

00:50:12.340 can build

00:50:13.220 resentment

00:50:13.680 against you

00:50:14.720 because

00:50:15.380 at that time

00:50:16.900 you were

00:50:17.300 harsh to her

00:50:18.540 so it should

00:50:18.980 be like

00:50:19.340 throughout

00:50:19.940 it should be

00:50:20.280 flowy

00:50:20.720 it shouldn't

00:50:20.960 just be once

00:50:21.560 it should be

00:50:22.020 just

00:50:22.240 consistent

00:50:23.080 yeah consistency

00:50:23.960 that's the word

00:50:24.940 we want

00:50:25.820 we want

00:50:26.720 a man to be

00:50:27.680 consistent

00:50:28.340 in his

00:50:28.840 gentleness

00:50:29.560 we're not

00:50:31.500 we're not

00:50:32.040 the same

00:50:32.520 as you guys

00:50:33.200 be gentle

00:50:34.340 we're like

00:50:34.880 a delicate

00:50:35.360 flower

00:50:35.880 treat us

00:50:36.420 like a

00:50:36.780 delicate

00:50:37.040 flower

00:50:37.540 but anyway

00:50:38.860 you guys

00:50:40.080 you didn't

00:50:40.440 answer my

00:50:41.060 question

00:50:41.400 what was

00:50:41.700 your question

00:50:42.120 so it's

00:50:42.660 to you

00:50:43.060 I'm trying

00:50:43.400 to understand

00:50:43.700 you guys

00:50:44.180 my question

00:50:46.120 was

00:50:46.440 what does

00:50:47.160 compassion

00:50:47.640 and reassurance

00:50:48.240 look like

00:50:48.660 to you

00:50:49.240 individually

00:50:49.900 how would

00:50:51.000 your man

00:50:51.340 show it

00:50:51.960 to you

00:50:52.320 what would

00:50:53.280 light up

00:50:54.340 your heart

00:50:54.840 basically

00:50:56.900 just support

00:50:58.420 me

00:50:58.680 just support

00:50:59.340 me

00:50:59.560 and help

00:50:59.960 me feel

00:51:00.300 seen

00:51:00.680 if I come

00:51:01.400 to you

00:51:02.000 with a problem

00:51:03.920 that I'm

00:51:04.500 facing

00:51:05.000 just

00:51:05.680 all I want

00:51:06.960 is for you

00:51:08.580 to say

00:51:08.880 I hear you

00:51:09.540 and I see

00:51:09.980 you

00:51:10.420 and just

00:51:12.700 don't try

00:51:13.420 to

00:51:13.620 sometimes

00:51:14.240 women don't 1.00

00:51:15.080 always want

00:51:15.820 you to

00:51:16.120 like

00:51:16.360 let me fix

00:51:17.400 this for

00:51:17.680 you

00:51:17.840 quickly

00:51:18.140 let me

00:51:18.380 put

00:51:19.060 bandaid

00:51:20.280 on it

00:51:21.240 no

00:51:21.500 sometimes

00:51:21.920 we just

00:51:22.300 want you

00:51:22.580 to listen

00:51:23.360 to us

00:51:23.760 and hear

00:51:24.660 us out

00:51:25.020 but

00:51:25.960 guys

00:51:26.920 before we

00:51:27.680 continue

00:51:29.560 and everything

00:51:30.200 I just

00:51:31.840 wanted to

00:51:32.880 see

00:51:34.520 I just

00:51:35.520 wanted to

00:51:35.920 see

00:51:36.180 what matches

00:51:37.360 from their

00:51:38.600 list

00:51:39.120 to ours

00:51:40.960 so on their

00:51:41.620 list is

00:51:42.060 obviously

00:51:42.460 honesty

00:51:43.100 wealth

00:51:44.020 like wealth

00:51:45.120 and status

00:51:46.580 and character

00:51:47.300 what did

00:51:47.760 we

00:51:48.020 what did

00:51:48.940 we choose

00:51:49.800 and let's

00:51:51.200 compare them

00:51:51.800 so let's

00:51:53.200 see if

00:51:53.420 there's

00:51:53.580 anything

00:51:53.780 that matches

00:51:54.400 up directly

00:51:55.160 so we've

00:51:57.240 got the

00:51:57.680 security

00:51:58.180 that definitely

00:51:59.140 matched up

00:51:59.860 yeah

00:52:00.160 character

00:52:02.240 yeah

00:52:03.100 character

00:52:03.680 and there's

00:52:05.680 probably

00:52:05.940 two direct

00:52:07.380 things

00:52:08.340 kind of

00:52:09.900 indirectly

00:52:10.680 the provider

00:52:11.880 part

00:52:12.140 we've got

00:52:12.620 wealth

00:52:13.000 yeah

00:52:13.380 we've said

00:52:14.880 provider

00:52:15.400 yeah

00:52:15.860 the males

00:52:17.040 have said

00:52:17.340 wealth

00:52:17.760 so that

00:52:18.580 links in

00:52:19.240 and honesty

00:52:20.060 and respect

00:52:20.560 is pretty

00:52:21.300 much the

00:52:21.740 same thing

00:52:22.180 you know

00:52:22.540 because if

00:52:23.360 you respect

00:52:23.960 me you're

00:52:24.300 automatically

00:52:24.860 going to be

00:52:25.400 honest with

00:52:25.880 me

00:52:26.060 with what

00:52:26.680 you think

00:52:26.880 well we

00:52:27.100 didn't put

00:52:27.480 I said

00:52:27.940 mindfulness

00:52:28.340 and obedience

00:52:29.000 and I

00:52:29.360 kind of

00:52:29.640 elaborated

00:52:30.160 on that

00:52:30.520 but we

00:52:31.200 didn't

00:52:31.460 put it

00:52:33.480 down

00:52:33.780 yeah

00:52:34.380 they're not

00:52:34.800 the same

00:52:35.340 you know

00:52:36.200 that's something

00:52:36.900 interesting

00:52:37.320 because I've

00:52:37.620 noticed men

00:52:38.180 want an

00:52:38.700 honest woman

00:52:39.280 obviously

00:52:40.440 as I don't

00:52:41.220 understand that

00:52:41.700 as a man

00:52:42.040 he'd have to

00:52:42.540 explain it to

00:52:43.080 me further

00:52:43.460 but

00:52:43.780 that's just

00:52:44.640 because women 0.99

00:52:45.460 we can be

00:52:47.200 very dishonest

00:52:48.380 and we're

00:52:49.100 delusional

00:52:49.600 sometimes

00:52:50.200 so I feel

00:52:51.220 like that

00:52:51.580 comes out

00:52:52.160 in dishonesty

00:52:52.880 like because

00:52:53.400 we're delusional

00:52:54.180 we start to

00:52:55.180 say this is

00:52:55.860 what we want

00:52:56.200 but really

00:52:56.540 we don't say

00:52:57.100 what we really

00:52:57.640 want

00:52:57.920 yeah we

00:52:58.460 change our

00:52:58.780 minds a lot

00:52:59.200 so I think

00:52:59.880 it depends

00:53:00.440 on how we're

00:53:01.020 feeling on the

00:53:01.500 day innit

00:53:02.000 yeah you're

00:53:03.980 right

00:53:04.260 because our

00:53:04.860 emotions are

00:53:05.380 going up and

00:53:05.780 down

00:53:05.860 it's going

00:53:06.220 up and

00:53:06.540 down

00:53:06.720 you have to

00:53:08.280 be understanding

00:53:08.820 of that

00:53:09.700 yeah

00:53:10.140 but sometimes

00:53:10.860 that can come

00:53:11.440 out as

00:53:11.680 dishonesty

00:53:12.120 because instead

00:53:12.620 of a woman

00:53:12.960 just saying

00:53:13.260 this is what I

00:53:13.860 actually want

00:53:14.420 we kind of

00:53:15.320 make up this

00:53:15.960 fairytale

00:53:17.220 scenario

00:53:18.220 and then

00:53:19.060 yeah I know

00:53:20.160 what you're

00:53:20.400 saying

00:53:20.620 so that's

00:53:21.280 probably why

00:53:21.720 they would say

00:53:22.120 we want an

00:53:22.420 honest woman

00:53:22.940 and I guess

00:53:23.500 what I've

00:53:24.820 noticed

00:53:25.120 what men

00:53:25.820 want in

00:53:26.540 like I know

00:53:27.160 this is going

00:53:27.600 a little bit

00:53:28.080 off topic

00:53:28.500 what men

00:53:29.080 want in

00:53:29.420 women is 1.00

00:53:29.900 for you to

00:53:30.500 be completely

00:53:31.220 like straight

00:53:32.840 up direct

00:53:33.980 because this is

00:53:34.780 how their

00:53:35.100 brain works

00:53:35.760 absolutely

00:53:36.200 we cannot

00:53:36.840 like be like

00:53:37.460 okay but

00:53:38.300 this is what

00:53:38.900 no like

00:53:39.960 this is what

00:53:41.280 I want

00:53:42.300 and I'm going

00:53:43.120 to spell it

00:53:43.780 out to you

00:53:44.160 I'm going

00:53:44.320 to give you

00:53:44.580 specific

00:53:44.920 instructions

00:53:45.380 and we

00:53:45.980 don't know

00:53:46.360 how to do

00:53:46.760 that

00:53:46.940 because women 0.99

00:53:47.660 just think

00:53:48.080 oh you can

00:53:48.440 read my mind

00:53:48.980 no no

00:53:49.340 men can't 0.98

00:53:50.500 read our

00:53:50.780 mind

00:53:50.920 we have to

00:53:51.480 be very

00:53:51.800 specific and

00:53:52.460 direct in

00:53:53.020 what we want

00:53:53.720 and it's hard

00:53:54.520 to do that

00:53:55.060 because of

00:53:55.580 the fact that

00:53:56.500 our emotions

00:53:57.260 do cloud

00:53:58.880 our judgment

00:53:59.740 so it's a bit

00:54:01.760 difficult

00:54:02.140 but I guess

00:54:03.480 if you practice

00:54:04.040 that you'll

00:54:04.620 eventually

00:54:04.980 you'll get it

00:54:06.160 I do feel like

00:54:07.380 I'm just going

00:54:07.680 to be totally

00:54:08.120 honest here

00:54:08.740 the fact that

00:54:10.180 the males

00:54:10.780 have put down

00:54:11.520 honesty

00:54:12.620 I do feel like

00:54:13.920 that's a little

00:54:14.360 bit of a

00:54:14.720 projection

00:54:15.200 because what

00:54:17.360 I mean is

00:54:18.040 that

00:54:18.440 personally I

00:54:20.220 feel men are 0.88

00:54:20.800 more dishonest

00:54:21.540 than women 0.99

00:54:22.080 and I feel like

00:54:23.900 that is a

00:54:24.360 projection

00:54:24.800 because they

00:54:25.420 are aware

00:54:26.100 of being

00:54:27.480 dishonest

00:54:28.240 they think

00:54:29.340 that's what

00:54:29.800 we're looking

00:54:30.160 for

00:54:30.580 because

00:54:31.500 we

00:54:32.580 clock on

00:54:34.020 to

00:54:34.340 dishonesty

00:54:35.100 and I feel

00:54:35.640 like

00:54:35.900 that's why

00:54:36.540 they think

00:54:36.980 we want

00:54:37.400 that

00:54:37.660 but we

00:54:38.040 haven't

00:54:38.380 put that

00:54:38.780 down

00:54:39.100 that's why

00:54:39.800 I said

00:54:40.260 that's why

00:54:41.000 I elaborated

00:54:41.580 and I said

00:54:41.960 a man that

00:54:42.500 wears his

00:54:42.840 flaws on his

00:54:43.320 sleeve

00:54:43.460 that's basically

00:54:44.020 me saying

00:54:44.480 you need to

00:54:44.940 be honest

00:54:45.360 from the

00:54:45.740 jump

00:54:45.900 who you

00:54:46.420 are

00:54:46.660 what you

00:54:47.160 can give

00:54:47.620 what you

00:54:48.060 can offer

00:54:48.540 what am I

00:54:49.260 getting

00:54:49.560 because

00:54:50.760 women 1.00

00:54:51.480 ultimately

00:54:52.060 all we want

00:54:52.660 realistically

00:54:53.180 and I never

00:54:53.880 mentioned

00:54:54.200 this is

00:54:54.580 the option

00:54:55.360 to

00:54:56.840 opting

00:54:58.420 or opt

00:54:58.760 out

00:54:59.020 with this

00:54:59.620 man

00:54:59.840 okay

00:55:00.240 so if a

00:55:00.660 man comes

00:55:00.980 and says

00:55:01.220 to you

00:55:01.460 look

00:55:01.720 I work

00:55:03.960 part time

00:55:04.560 but I'm

00:55:05.240 a drug

00:55:05.460 dealer

00:55:05.720 and

00:55:06.920 I've

00:55:07.700 gone to

00:55:08.200 prison

00:55:08.460 no

00:55:08.840 seriously

00:55:10.020 I've

00:55:10.840 gone to

00:55:11.160 prison

00:55:11.440 because

00:55:11.700 it's

00:55:11.820 the

00:55:11.940 reality

00:55:12.240 I've

00:55:12.560 been to

00:55:12.800 prison

00:55:13.060 I've

00:55:13.720 got a few

00:55:14.100 things under

00:55:14.800 my belt

00:55:15.260 but he's

00:55:16.560 been honest

00:55:17.000 right

00:55:17.300 and women

00:55:17.840 say

00:55:18.140 we want

00:55:20.340 an honest

00:55:20.680 man

00:55:21.000 but when

00:55:21.480 the man

00:55:21.740 comes with

00:55:22.120 the honesty

00:55:22.580 we're like

00:55:24.480 ooh

00:55:24.880 but we

00:55:26.160 respect him

00:55:26.860 because he's

00:55:27.500 given us

00:55:27.920 the choice

00:55:28.480 to opt

00:55:29.060 him

00:55:29.280 or opt

00:55:29.940 out

00:55:30.140 yeah

00:55:30.380 exactly

00:55:30.800 ultimately

00:55:31.680 we just

00:55:32.220 want him

00:55:33.000 to be

00:55:33.240 honest

00:55:33.480 so we

00:55:33.740 can say

00:55:34.000 okay let

00:55:34.380 me opt

00:55:34.720 in with

00:55:34.980 this man

00:55:35.360 because

00:55:35.980 realistically

00:55:36.500 the other

00:55:37.120 guy was

00:55:37.420 lying over

00:55:37.780 there and

00:55:38.240 he's told

00:55:38.560 me the

00:55:38.760 truth

00:55:38.940 even though

00:55:39.340 it's not

00:55:39.640 perfect

00:55:40.220 he's standing

00:55:41.860 in his

00:55:42.140 discomfort

00:55:42.540 do you know

00:55:43.360 what I mean

00:55:43.640 so yeah

00:55:44.100 you're right

00:55:44.540 the projection

00:55:45.080 they probably

00:55:45.640 thought we were

00:55:46.180 going to say

00:55:46.520 honesty

00:55:46.920 I feel

00:55:48.340 I feel like

00:55:48.520 that one's

00:55:48.820 a bit

00:55:49.000 of

00:55:49.100 projection

00:55:49.380 I feel like

00:55:49.700 men are

00:55:49.940 just too

00:55:50.420 scared

00:55:51.220 of like

00:55:51.980 because of

00:55:52.760 the high

00:55:53.020 standards

00:55:53.400 they feel

00:55:53.760 like they

00:55:54.000 have to

00:55:54.260 compete

00:55:54.660 with

00:55:55.160 they probably

00:55:56.160 have to

00:55:56.580 like kind of

00:55:57.140 sugarcoat

00:55:57.680 and lie

00:55:58.280 about certain

00:55:58.880 things

00:55:59.340 that's why

00:56:00.060 we didn't

00:56:00.420 care about

00:56:00.760 we didn't

00:56:01.180 mention it

00:56:01.680 honestly

00:56:02.000 but they

00:56:02.460 mentioned it

00:56:03.040 just to

00:56:03.580 I think

00:56:04.300 we've

00:56:04.540 yeah

00:56:04.800 we've

00:56:06.380 interestingly

00:56:07.100 and this is

00:56:07.800 probably that I

00:56:08.380 feel the thing

00:56:09.200 that women 0.97

00:56:09.520 complain about

00:56:10.160 the most

00:56:10.520 is the

00:56:10.880 compassion

00:56:11.280 things

00:56:11.600 and they

00:56:11.860 didn't put

00:56:12.200 that down

00:56:12.680 yeah

00:56:13.340 yeah

00:56:13.960 this is so

00:56:14.540 crazy

00:56:14.900 and I feel

00:56:15.480 like this is

00:56:16.020 probably the

00:56:16.440 biggest issue

00:56:17.100 that we face

00:56:17.960 is not feeling

00:56:18.680 like we're

00:56:19.060 getting enough

00:56:19.500 compassion

00:56:20.220 compassion for

00:56:21.400 you know

00:56:22.140 when it's the

00:56:22.520 time of month

00:56:23.180 or childbirth

00:56:23.960 or pregnancy

00:56:24.680 or if you

00:56:25.780 are a working

00:56:26.520 wife

00:56:27.460 the fact that

00:56:28.160 you're also

00:56:28.680 going out to

00:56:29.340 work and you're

00:56:29.900 having a hard

00:56:30.400 time out in

00:56:31.260 the field

00:56:31.760 you know

00:56:32.480 coming home

00:56:33.380 you know

00:56:33.780 and you know

00:56:35.140 just those kinds

00:56:35.920 of hormonal

00:56:36.580 imbalances

00:56:37.220 that we

00:56:37.740 naturally

00:56:38.120 experience

00:56:38.680 and I just

00:56:39.120 want to add

00:56:39.540 on to that

00:56:40.240 and in the

00:56:40.820 Quran if you

00:56:41.400 read it

00:56:41.800 if people

00:56:42.140 are actually

00:56:42.500 reading their

00:56:43.020 Quran and

00:56:43.580 reading the

00:56:43.940 Haq

00:56:44.220 you'll realise

00:56:45.240 that the

00:56:46.000 rights

00:56:46.440 one of the

00:56:46.900 rights

00:56:47.240 is kindness

00:56:48.260 and why

00:56:49.640 is kindness

00:56:50.280 for women

00:56:50.700 because that

00:56:51.220 compassion

00:56:51.740 is absolutely

00:56:53.140 essential

00:56:53.860 inside of a

00:56:54.820 marriage

00:56:55.120 without the

00:56:56.140 kindness

00:56:56.580 the woman 0.98

00:56:57.460 cannot respect

00:56:58.220 the man

00:56:58.600 she feels

00:56:59.860 at a loss

00:57:00.500 like hey

00:57:01.240 he doesn't

00:57:01.680 he's not

00:57:02.180 treating

00:57:02.420 me nice

00:57:02.840 he's not

00:57:03.040 using nice

00:57:03.520 words

00:57:03.800 he's not

00:57:04.160 you know

00:57:04.840 recognising

00:57:05.400 that I

00:57:05.660 need his

00:57:05.940 support

00:57:06.220 and love

00:57:06.600 and affection

00:57:07.040 at this

00:57:07.420 time

00:57:07.700 so it

00:57:08.360 goes a bit

00:57:08.940 left

00:57:09.660 do you understand

00:57:10.340 so it's

00:57:10.780 absolutely

00:57:11.100 essential for

00:57:11.700 a man to be

00:57:12.220 kind and have

00:57:12.700 compassion towards

00:57:13.440 women 1.00

00:57:13.640 yeah yeah of course

00:57:14.340 but you know

00:57:15.260 I think also

00:57:16.580 for a man to be

00:57:17.560 it's tiling with

00:57:19.180 emotional intelligence

00:57:20.160 you know

00:57:20.520 for a man to

00:57:21.480 recognise

00:57:22.080 hang on a minute

00:57:22.880 like my woman

00:57:24.260 needs compassion

00:57:24.940 right now

00:57:25.500 like rather than

00:57:26.420 me just like

00:57:27.360 giving her solutions

00:57:28.820 or being like

00:57:29.660 you know

00:57:30.460 logical how

00:57:31.140 you would be

00:57:31.760 how you would

00:57:32.460 be with

00:57:32.740 another man

00:57:33.700 and you

00:57:34.600 I think

00:57:35.040 the only time

00:57:36.180 the only reason

00:57:37.180 why like men

00:57:37.940 the fact that

00:57:39.280 the men even

00:57:39.780 forgot to put

00:57:40.420 that on their

00:57:40.820 list

00:57:41.240 is because

00:57:42.120 they don't

00:57:43.040 really understand

00:57:43.820 us

00:57:44.260 and like if you

00:57:45.440 educated yourself

00:57:46.580 on the women's

00:57:47.640 hormones

00:57:48.000 and how we

00:57:49.060 work

00:57:49.600 and what it's

00:57:50.400 like on the

00:57:50.780 time of the

00:57:51.240 month

00:57:51.680 and what we

00:57:52.920 actually experience

00:57:54.080 like the turmoil

00:57:54.740 we usually go

00:57:55.660 through you know

00:57:56.340 but I feel like

00:57:56.780 you should start

00:57:57.380 off

00:57:57.660 because I know

00:57:58.020 it's a lot

00:57:58.460 it's a lot

00:57:59.000 it's a lot

00:57:59.440 so just start

00:58:00.140 off

00:58:00.560 just I don't

00:58:01.580 know do

00:58:01.860 something small

00:58:02.580 get her flowers

00:58:03.620 give her a kiss

00:58:04.300 on the forehead

00:58:04.900 tell her she 0.76

00:58:05.820 looks beautiful

00:58:06.420 give her a hug

00:58:07.240 something small

00:58:08.300 start from

00:58:08.860 something small

00:58:09.320 I know because

00:58:09.540 it's quite overwhelming

00:58:10.140 I'm gonna honestly

00:58:12.280 just because I want

00:58:13.300 people to genuinely

00:58:13.980 go away with

00:58:14.660 something today

00:58:15.780 read the Quran

00:58:17.280 I'm not joking

00:58:19.080 read the Quran

00:58:20.540 specifically the

00:58:22.080 ayats where

00:58:22.580 Allah is talking 0.87

00:58:23.020 about marriage

00:58:23.680 you it's so

00:58:24.640 easily it's very

00:58:25.600 easily and

00:58:26.160 very easy to

00:58:26.960 understand and

00:58:28.080 it's clear and

00:58:28.860 Allah has not 1.00

00:58:29.940 made no mistakes

00:58:30.740 with the Quran

00:58:31.420 please people

00:58:32.940 need to read

00:58:33.340 their Quran

00:58:33.780 because when you

00:58:34.580 read it you

00:58:35.060 understand the

00:58:36.160 rights of the

00:58:36.640 man and the

00:58:37.060 rights of the

00:58:37.420 woman and

00:58:37.800 there's no

00:58:38.080 change in it

00:58:38.820 there's no

00:58:39.560 you know making

00:58:40.620 it's not

00:58:41.120 confusing and

00:58:42.520 inshallah I

00:58:43.080 would like to

00:58:43.520 just close on

00:58:44.040 that from me

00:58:44.520 personally that

00:58:45.180 people need to

00:58:45.760 read the

00:58:46.060 and when they

00:58:47.100 read and

00:58:47.400 understand what

00:58:47.920 Allah is

00:58:48.140 actually asking

00:58:48.820 of you as a

00:58:50.180 man and as a

00:58:50.800 woman these 0.88

00:58:52.560 conversations shouldn't

00:58:53.780 be having to

00:58:55.200 you're absolutely

00:58:55.840 right

00:58:56.160 you know because

00:58:56.620 we would

00:58:56.960 understand you

00:58:57.820 know yeah so

00:58:58.660 that's me

00:58:59.580 personally and

00:59:00.700 I've myself

00:59:01.780 educated myself

00:59:02.780 more on

00:59:03.220 relationships because

00:59:04.020 I'm reading my

00:59:04.660 Quran and I'm

00:59:05.260 understanding

00:59:05.720 actually it's

00:59:07.220 very simple

00:59:07.800 treat them with

00:59:08.780 kindness in

00:59:09.820 return they give

00:59:10.640 you respect and

00:59:11.660 if people understand

00:59:12.300 that it works

00:59:13.580 perfect it's a

00:59:14.100 perfect balance

00:59:14.800 you know you

00:59:15.600 know that

00:59:15.860 respect when

00:59:16.700 we want

00:59:16.900 kindness of

00:59:17.660 course you

00:59:18.220 know that

00:59:18.520 saying you

00:59:19.000 give a woman

00:59:19.940 a house she

00:59:21.040 makes it a

00:59:21.560 home that's

00:59:23.320 literally what

00:59:23.860 it is she

00:59:25.140 makes it a

00:59:25.640 home but

00:59:26.280 there's just

00:59:26.580 certain ingredients

00:59:27.260 you need to

00:59:27.840 put in there

00:59:28.340 of course of

00:59:29.060 course you

00:59:29.460 can't do like

00:59:30.420 that's that's

00:59:31.080 the end goal

00:59:31.620 yeah yeah

00:59:32.180 ingredients to

00:59:33.060 get there of

00:59:33.560 course of

00:59:34.000 course definitely

00:59:34.980 oh yeah

00:59:35.540 that's it

Ali Dawah - February 29, 2024

MEN GUESS WHAT WOMAN WANT IN A HUSBAND？ - EP 24 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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