Ali Dawah - July 16, 2023


MESSAGE TO AISHA ROSALIE ON HER DIVORCE


Episode Stats

Length

6 minutes

Words per Minute

247.03883

Word Count

1,599

Sentence Count

143

Misogynist Sentences

2

Hate Speech Sentences

11


Summary

Divorce can happen to anybody. It doesn't mean that the person who goes through a divorce is bad. It can mean that there is something wrong with the person going through divorce. Also, divorce can happen for a variety of reasons.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 So Tal and I are divorced. I had a lot of, what's worse, like I had a lot of whispers from Shaitan saying to me like, why would Allah do this to you?
00:00:06.940 Like the kind of things they say like, oh men are dogs or women are dogs.
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00:00:41.400 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, brothers and sisters and dear friends.
00:00:43.900 Hope you guys are well inshaAllah.
00:00:44.680 Before I start, I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, the most merciful, the most trust, or praise His glory and gratitude belong to Him.
00:00:50.160 So guys, this video is pertaining to a video my wife actually saw on YouTube.
00:00:53.720 And she doesn't really follow the sister, but she came across it.
00:00:56.620 She was suggested it.
00:00:57.360 And I watched the video myself because as far as from what I know, the sister was married and but she has gone through a divorce.
00:01:03.880 Sultan and I are divorced.
00:01:05.040 We got divorced very soon after Khadija was born.
00:01:07.560 Alhamdulillah.
00:01:08.300 It's important to say alhamdulillah in our tough times as well as our good times, I think.
00:01:11.960 Because everything's down to Allah.
00:01:13.360 And actually I was watching a lecture from Mufti Megh.
00:01:15.160 And he said that our divorces are written for us.
00:01:17.800 So the same way our marriages are written for us, our divorces are written for us.
00:01:20.720 So this divorce was written for me before I was even here.
00:01:23.380 So I can't complain, alhamdulillah.
00:01:24.820 It's part of my plan.
00:01:25.860 Shaitan came to me strong.
00:01:27.180 But the true believers are strong with Allah in their good times and their bad times.
00:01:30.620 I had a lot of what's worse.
00:01:31.920 I had a lot of whispers from shaitan saying to me like, why would Allah do this to you?
00:01:35.860 Like the kind of things they say like, oh men are dogs or women are dogs.
00:01:38.740 Yeah, so a lot of what's worse about that.
00:01:40.480 Shaitan will constantly come to me and say, look, you're a single mum with a child.
00:01:44.420 No man's ever going to want to be with you.
00:01:46.940 That's it.
00:01:47.420 You lost your chance to ever start a family.
00:01:49.560 You know, all these kind of things.
00:01:50.980 And yes, a lot of men are not going to want to be with me.
00:01:54.380 That's okay.
00:01:54.840 I don't want to be with every man.
00:01:56.680 Alhamdulillah.
00:01:57.140 That would be weird.
00:01:58.380 But there will be somebody out there for me, inshallah.
00:02:00.640 And pertaining to this, brother and sister, subhanallah, it's very sad because one of the reasons I started the Bitter Truth show, the marriage documentary and other things that I'm working on in behind the scenes is all pertaining to combat this issue, which is pertaining to the breakdown of the family unit.
00:02:13.640 So I'm heavily trying my best to help and aid to keep the marriage unit intact, inshallah.
00:02:19.460 But it's hard to hear these things.
00:02:21.060 And these things do happen.
00:02:22.080 It doesn't mean that the person is bad who goes through a divorce.
00:02:24.440 Divorce can happen to anybody.
00:02:26.020 It doesn't make the person be the male or the female going through a divorce that there was something wrong with them.
00:02:31.100 It can mean that, but it doesn't necessarily mean that's always the case.
00:02:34.360 Divorces happen because of mismatch.
00:02:35.880 You're just not getting on with one another.
00:02:37.540 Variety of reasons.
00:02:38.400 Also, divorce sometimes happens for very petty and unneeded reasons.
00:02:41.940 Egos get in the way or whatever it may be.
00:02:43.940 And divorce happens for those reasons.
00:02:45.180 Sadly, my nasiyah to this sister is the following.
00:02:47.360 I know that she needs my nasiyah or my nobody or I don't even need to do a video about this issue.
00:02:50.660 But when I see these things, there's a couple of things that we can benefit from, which is firstly, brothers and sisters.
00:02:55.680 When it comes to these issues, we need to understand something very clearly.
00:02:58.600 Any public figure for that matter, I always tell them.
00:03:01.300 And I'm not saying directly this was the cause.
00:03:03.320 I'm not saying that.
00:03:04.020 I'm just giving a general nasiyah.
00:03:05.740 Make sure that you are praying and given the rights of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
00:03:09.300 Salah, fasting, zakah, hajjj.
00:03:11.100 Whatever it may be, staying away from major sins.
00:03:13.300 Sins have a direct correlation to issues at home.
00:03:16.060 Like I said before, this doesn't necessarily mean every marital dispute or divorce that ends like this is connected to this.
00:03:20.700 I'm not saying that.
00:03:21.300 There were men, prophets of Allah who married women who were evil.
00:03:24.440 And there were amazing women who married men that were evil.
00:03:26.980 So Allah can test you.
00:03:28.380 But sometimes, brothers and sisters, you need to understand that there is a connection in the sense of what?
00:03:32.780 That our sins have an impact.
00:03:35.300 So much the Salaf would say that if I was to commit a sin outside and I would come home and see my wife for some reason, angry, shouting, whatever.
00:03:43.560 He said I will connect it to a sin that I committed.
00:03:46.780 So they understood what the consequences the sins can have.
00:03:50.000 And that's what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in Surah Yusuf that the dhalimeen will never be successful.
00:03:54.580 The oppressors, those who oppress, they will never be successful.
00:03:56.440 So Allah's tying those who commit sins to not being successful.
00:04:00.220 So these things can have an impact.
00:04:02.320 Number two, as a public figure, doing your adhkar.
00:04:05.260 It is very important for you to do your adhkar.
00:04:08.180 It is very, very important.
00:04:10.120 Because if you don't do your adhkar, you are prone to the dangers of the metaphysical world.
00:04:13.820 And people are jealous.
00:04:14.920 People have envy.
00:04:15.900 People don't like you.
00:04:16.840 There's sihr.
00:04:17.340 There's magic.
00:04:17.880 There's all kinds of stuff involved.
00:04:19.540 So please, please make sure if you're a public figure, you do your adhkar.
00:04:23.400 It is fundamental and it is vital to do that.
00:04:26.620 Now, besides all of this, like I said before, my dear sister, I haven't heard your side of the story.
00:04:31.120 We don't know the side of the brother.
00:04:31.920 Again, I don't know.
00:04:32.840 This doesn't mean you are guilty or he is guilty or you're innocent or he is innocent.
00:04:36.100 When it comes to these issues, brothers and sisters, when you look from an outside, don't blame people.
00:04:39.820 Oh, it must be the husband.
00:04:40.940 The husband must be bad or it must be.
00:04:42.560 No, you don't know the dynamics.
00:04:43.740 Do not make judgment.
00:04:44.540 You don't know nothing.
00:04:45.380 Just because a brother, you see a brother crying doesn't mean he's not guilty.
00:04:48.660 Or you see a sister crying doesn't mean she's not guilty.
00:04:50.340 So please bear that in mind when you're looking at these kind of things and protect your marriage.
00:04:54.020 Please try, my dear brothers and sisters, public figures.
00:04:56.580 To not show your marital life to everybody.
00:04:59.620 Wallah, especially if you're not doing your adhkar, try your best.
00:05:02.260 And I'm not saying this was the cause.
00:05:03.700 I'm talking in general.
00:05:04.820 Try to keep your life private.
00:05:06.560 There was actually a study done that those who keep their lives private, they are more happy than those who blast it.
00:05:11.800 I know of individuals, one brother who was in a prison cell, accused of R-A-P-E.
00:05:16.760 Yes, falsely, the charges were dropped.
00:05:18.060 And if you went to the Instagram page, you would never in a million years think these people have this problem.
00:05:23.560 Because this fake persona and the lifestyle that we put out there, it's not real.
00:05:27.880 So, in a nutshell, to the brother or the sister going through divorce, whatever it may be, inshallah.
00:05:32.480 May Allah make it easy for both of you guys.
00:05:34.360 Learn lessons from this, inshallah.
00:05:35.900 And you never know, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala maybe bring you guys back together again.
00:05:38.820 It's impossible.
00:05:39.420 And in Islam, it is allowed.
00:05:40.260 But, please bear that in mind.
00:05:41.940 And in general, my dear sister, may Allah make it easy for you.
00:05:43.860 May Allah make it easy for your husband too.
00:05:45.280 You know, I'm sure he's going through stuff as well as much as you are.
00:05:47.940 And inshallah that you guys can be there for your kids.
00:05:50.020 And be there for that child, inshallah, which is very important.
00:05:52.980 And do not lose hope in Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
00:05:54.800 And inshallah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will give something better to both of you guys.
00:05:58.180 I just thought I'd give this a general reminder, inshallah.
00:05:59.880 So, in a nutshell, brothers and sisters, please do not lose hope.
00:06:02.960 Those who are divorced, inshallah, do not lose hope.
00:06:05.260 These things happen.
00:06:06.160 It can make you better.
00:06:07.120 And you can learn from your mistakes, inshallah.
00:06:09.320 And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make the affairs of our sister easy.
00:06:12.480 It was just a general nasiyah, inshallah.
00:06:14.340 And may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless us all and guide us all and protect us from the harms of evil,
00:06:19.520 hasad and seher and whatever it may be.
00:06:21.240 Please, please do your adhkar and ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala guidance.
00:06:23.880 And keep your lives, inshallah, private to the best of your ability.
00:06:26.640 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.