Ali Dawah - January 26, 2016Mufti Menk & Ali Dawah Making Haram relationship Halal
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
190.16322
Summary
Jummah Kutbah' al-Fatihah on the issue of whether or not to get married in the modern era. What is the ideal amount of years to wait for a marriage? Is it more than 3 years or more than 5 years for a married couple to live together in the same home for the sake of halal halal, or should they live in separate homes?
Transcript
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if it's haram you want to change your ways ask yourself are you ready for marriage if not cut
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it drop it don't use and abuse a lot of people say i want to marry you but you know what three
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years three years that's another problem we face parents have agreed but they say the marriage
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will only happen in three years these children are literally spending their life like husband and
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wife already and you're just saying will happen i'm worried about people worried about people
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subhanallah it's the second time i said it how can you worry about people when you don't even know
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how long you're going to live you set the trend people will follow wallahi there was an example
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of a very rich person in one of the countries and he's a friend of mine and i told him he said i want
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to throw a party for my daughter she's the only daughter getting married and i want to invite so
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many i said listen brother if you keep it simple and set a trend a lot of people will follow wallahi
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he kept it simple and straightforward and he did everything as per the islamic you know rulings
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and i swear so many people followed and i said there you are brother you get the reward of everyone
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they looked at the joneses and followed saw that the joneses themselves were so down to earth who are we
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the problem is every weddings become a competition you know those who are not even the bride
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they fuss about the clothing they're going to wear at someone else's wedding whom they don't even get
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along with sometime just because they and they have a new set of clothing sewn and shoes and handbags
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accessories and whatnot and hijabs for someone else's wedding whereas for your own wedding you're supposed
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to be even simpler than that may allah forgive us and this is why we say keep it simple it's not supposed
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to be a competition and i was told by one of the brothers well you know what we like all the
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sisters to dress up nicely because we go to weddings in order to find one for ourselves well that's not
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the platform you know i remember uh in one of the cultures you know culturally there are some people
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who think well you go to the wedding to scout you go and scout well if the boys are scouting the girls
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that's not a religious function right however if your sister comes across someone your brother comes
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across a decent brother and so on and they bring the issue up remember you have sisters to get married
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if i see a sister who's old and she's not married i blame the males who are nearest to her starting from
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her father you were supposed to have kept an eye out you were supposed to have spoken don't be shy
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speak say look brother you know it's happened to me as well where i've had young people come to me and
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said you know so and so so and so so and so i have this this this what do you think of marriage and
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subhanallah i will answer in my own way with respect but i really admire your courage
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i really admire your courage wallahi and i believe that that's the right thing because who knows you
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will ask five or ten people and one of them who's the right one chosen by allah will probably say hey
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mashallah let's take it a step further and you might end up getting married but you've done nothing
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people say oh you want to get married make dua make dua is it like a pot that you keep on making
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something no way make dua yes we will do the dua but with that we have to act
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so we ask allah subhanahu wa ta'ala to make it easy for us these haram relations to make them halal
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you need to make sure that you get the nikah done simple as that even if you cannot afford to live with each
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other now i encourage your parents i encourage all parents out there to look into the following
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scenario and that is if your children cannot afford to live with each other in the same home for now
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let the nikah happen and let them live separately no one said that they have to live together right now
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but if the nikah has taken place and then what will happen at least the relationship is halal
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so you are invoking the mercy of allah the mercy of allah descends on you this is how you will achieve
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if there's no mercy what are you going to achieve subhanallah so you cannot continue to just say this
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guy can't afford a home and therefore when he has a job worth 130 000 pounds a year when he's got a car
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and a house then we will allow the nikah trust me they've already they're already living like i said husband
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and wife committing every sin there is in the book and you know what you're just waiting for 10 years to
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pass by that time they could have had children who were already in the school subhanallah can i tell
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you what a lot of the old people are very guilty of wanting the their sons-in-law to be wealthy people
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when they married their own wives who are the mothers of these same daughters they didn't even have a pair of
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shoes do you know that so don't make it a criteria you need a home you need a house he just needs to be
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responsible if he's responsible he will take care of your daughter like he's taking care of everyone else
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subhanallah he doesn't need to be a millionaire wallahi if that was the case the hadith would
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have said if someone came to you they have a lot of wealth get them married never has that been a
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criteria subhanallah remember this responsible individual yes they may have to downgrade their
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lives some might be fortunate to upgrade a little bit that can be taken away immediately i know of so
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many people who were wealthy when they got married and they lost absolutely everything a little bit later
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down the line and i know the opposite people who were poor they got married allah says
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in the quran that if you marry and you are not able meaning you're not so wealthy if you do that in
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order to protect your chastity allah will grant you sustenance he will make you wealthy listen in surah
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speaking about marriage if the two are poor their intention was to please allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
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allah will grant them that financial independence subhanallah may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us
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goodness so please my brothers and sisters if you're not interested in the nikah don't use and abuse
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someone's child never don't play a game to say we'll get married in five years and in the within that time
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the girl is waiting for you or the boy is waiting for example and two years later you just say not
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interested you've broken their not only their heart you've destroyed a life that's what you've done
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the person could have actually gone and married someone else however the last thing i'm going to
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say here is that if you have committed sin in the past you've done haram and so on please
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if the if allah has made it such that the two of you are now getting married
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seek allah's forgiveness for whatever you've done in the past
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start a new leaf people have committed adultery whatever they've done
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they're now getting married they're now getting married seek allah's forgiveness
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have your function in a proper way that will please allah subhanahu wa ta'ala because what's the
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point of having a haram function when allah's facilitated halal relationship what's the point
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just have a simple function beautiful for the sake of allah trust me what you need most is contentment
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you know all the haram that happened in the function is not going to come to your aid
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it will actually result in your detriment to be honest those who have had functions where haram has
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taken place seek allah's forgiveness you will turn a new leaf and proceed because that function is a
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seed that you're sowing for the tree that's about to grow in your life if it's a bad seed do you expect
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a good fruit to come out of it well if you engage in tawbah still allah's mercy will grant you good fruit
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so please let's mend our ways let's come out allah's made it so easy don't use the cheap excuses i
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have spoken to so many parents i don't even know because of emails that have come in my direction
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and i've offered or volunteered to be a middleman to say i'll speak to your parents
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some of them have sworn me some of them have told me would you give your own child and i said yes
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i would are you sure they were quiet are you sure i said yes i would and mashallah a lot of them have
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actually given their daughters and their sons subhanallah they've blessed the marriages may
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allah subhanahu wa ta'ala forgive us for having dwindled off the path and may allah subhanahu wa
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ta'ala bring us back upon revelation and may allah subhanahu wa ta'ala simplify all the difficulties
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that people are facing in terms of marriage i support you i really do remember the two qualities
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deen and khuluq if that's the case you have the support not only of myself but even of allah and his
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rasool sallallahu alayhi wa sallam i just want to finish off um this was a dream to me to have this
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topic with you inshallah and also brothers and sisters this video not video obviously it's been
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recorded it's going to be on youtube if you've missed out anything and we discussed the regarding
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a lot of topics regarding zina if you go to my youtube channel i've got a whole reality show based
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on this topic so inshallah if you guys inshallah you guys will benefit and before i finish i want to
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praise allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the most merciful the most just or praise his glory and gratitude
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belong to him for all the works that we do and keep us in your dua and may allah grant you jannah
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for sharing this platform we have one more problem how do we get the parents who we address today to
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watch the youtube clip habibi can we pay them can we pay them some money or something if i was a
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millionaire wallahi i would pay them you know why because that's the problem with the youtube videos
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that's not my mark like they don't watch it so every time i'm on the platform like this where there's an
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audience or i'm on tv where i know aunties and uncles are watching the first topic that i discuss
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is this the opportunity that i have if i had the money i would pay them well you know aunties and
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uncles don't help we want the parents subhanallah let's talk to them may allah i hope you know what
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that their parents in our midst and even later on please listen to what we've said it's a passionate
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plea we're looking for solutions of the problems of the ummah we really want solutions may allah subhanahu
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wa ta'ala make us vehicles of solution to the degree that on the day of judgment when we arrive
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perhaps allah might just look at that deed and take you straight to jannah you know what
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you broke every norm that was wrong in order for you to please me here is your paradise may