Ali Dawah - October 08, 2018MUSLIM LEARNS ABOUT JUDAISM - SPEAKERS CORNER
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
208.65605
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the difference between the dating and marriage process in Judaism, and how it works in the context of the Torah. For example, what are the terms and conditions of a marriage contract? How does it work in relation to the dating process? And how is it related to the wedding ceremony?
Transcript
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Honestly, there are certain, under normal circumstances, one shouldn't even socialise with a woman who's not your wife and not your relative.
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High five to that again, because we're on the same page.
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That's what we believe. We believe that God cannot be tired. He's the all-knowing, the most powerful.
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So again, the concept of Jesus, God dying on the cross, me and you reject that, right?
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Okay, yeah. So I want to ask you another question.
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For example, I'm intrigued. I'm asking this because I'm intrigued. How does it work for you guys?
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For example, me personally, I got married about two years ago, yeah? How does a marriage process work for us?
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For us, it's very strict. So for example, we can't go on dates, yeah?
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So it doesn't work. If I want to get to know somebody, I have to go off with their father.
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How does it work? Because I watched a documentary on this, but how does it work?
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It is so complicated. Obviously, under normal circumstances, one shouldn't even socialise with a woman who's not your wife
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High five to that again, because we're on the same page.
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You're not expected to marry a stranger, and therefore, in the dating process,
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there are certain things which would normally be permitted under the circumstances,
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So normally, you would not be allowed to start to get pleasure from looking at a woman, for example.
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But if you're looking to get married, you go on a date, you are supposed to look at her,
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because you've got to make sure you're comfortable with that.
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But, she has to remain properly dressed. You can't see her when she's not covered.
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So there are certain things which become permitted when you're genuinely looking to get married,
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So at the free time, when it comes to touching, it's very interesting.
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At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, the groom paces the veil on the bride.
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Because he has to make sure that she's the right one.
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Before she's got the veil on the face, he makes sure that she's the right one.
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But, at that point, he has to be very careful as he paces the veil,
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that he doesn't touch her, because at that point, they're not married yet.
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So what happens if he accidentally touches her?
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But, if it's an accident, that's another thing.
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As they're on their way out of the ceremony, they come out holding hands.
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So, even when they're engaged, even when they're actually about to begin the wedding ceremony,
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So, in the dating process, there are certain leniencies, but there's boundaries as well.
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So, when you're getting to know the other person who's married, like you said before,
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you're not allowed to touch her, you know, you're allowed to see, like, you know, the face, etc.
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That's what I was asking, because there's a lot of things that are in common as well.
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And also, another thing is, so when you do the contract, how does the marriage contract work?
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You read something, and then you say, in the name of God, how does it work?
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It's actually written, it's written and signed by the groom before the ceremony.
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It's, the witnesses who are going to witness the ceremony, obviously, have to make sure
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they witness beforehand that the groom has been through and understands everything.
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And then, during the ceremony, the groom then hands it over to the bride.
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And that states, obviously, various terms and conditions of marriage, rather.
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If the contract doesn't affect the marriage, the marriage is affected with, when the man,
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when the groom gives an item of value, it's usually a ring, but it can be anything of value.
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So, he says to her, in Hebrew, you will be married to me with this ring, in accordance
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with the law of Moses and Israel, and she takes it from him, she acquires the ring, and
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The way you say it, I feel like you're talking about Islam.
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Anyway, so that's how the marriage is affected.
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The marriage contract doesn't create the marriage, but it creates, in terms of conditions,
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it's the man's commitment to the woman, which is written in the contract.
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Yeah, there are certain things which are standard, and there are other things which can be agreed
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That's actually very common with Islam, that's very common.
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One other thing I was going to say is, if I'm not mistaken, once a year you guys prostrate?
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Yeah, but we can't put our face direct on the ground, so we put a cloth down in front
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So you put a cloth down and you prostrate with your face on the cloth.
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That's when you do it once on the first two days, and then on the tenth day of the year
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Our head, our nose, our hands, our knees, and our feet have to touch the floor, yeah?
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Like that, but with us, we don't actually put our face on the floor directly, we put
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Then on the festivals, we have four services, and on Yom Kippur, we have five, except
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that on Yom Kippur, they all run into each other, so we're actually praying
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Okay, we face Mecca, but before the Muslims of Salem would face Jerusalem, but then it
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In this part of the world, if you're facing one city, you're facing the other.
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From London, in London, Muslims and Jews are facing pretty much the same direction.
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Yeah, but that's only from here, because obviously it's going to be somewhere in the world.
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You know when you pray three times a day, do you have to do some kind of ablution?
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There are some people who immerse their entire body each morning in a special type of pool.
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Some people might go every Friday in preparation for the coming Sabbath.
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So you know when you pray, you don't do this three times a day, do you?
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Well, some of our prayers are recited standing.
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That has to be said standing with your feet together.
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You shouldn't get to the point where you're not in control of yourself.
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You have to drink moderately enough that you can make sure you don't do anything you shouldn't do.
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But if you keep you within that limit, you're allowed to drink alcohol.
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I don't know if there's any questions that I want to ask.
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The long black thing that you guys wear, or the hats that...
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The generic term for the Ultra-Orthodox is Haredi.
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It's just the very, very religious, so known as the Haredi.
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There's different groups amongst the Haredi that come from different parts of the world,
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You're not allowed to shake the hand on the opposite side.
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Is it true that the female and the males have to walk on the opposite side, or is that correct?
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You were talking about opposite side of the street?
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I know in certain isolated places, they might take on...
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You know, some communities take on extra stringences.
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I think in Gateshead, that's a common practice.
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I mean, again, I mean, you're talking about, you know, diverse groups of people.
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So, obviously, some communities are more religious than others.
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So, what you'll see in one community isn't necessarily standard of all Jews.
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The married ladies should keep their hair covered.
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But why don't they cover it, like, for example, like a cloth?
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You'll find in many communities that women are covering their head with a cloth.
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That's like a cloth they cover their head with.
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Others, others, there are some quite commonplace nowadays to wear the wigs.
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It is, you should know, it is a matter of controversy.
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Because some say it's not really in the spirit of the law.
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I heard it means the bigger it is, the more religious you claim.