Ali Dawah - December 31, 2021


“NO SEX FOR MEN” - FEMINIST vs MUSLIM

Hosted by
Ali Dawah
Mentioned
Prophet Hadith Sarah Everett Thomas Hobbes
RUSSEL HOWARD DEFENDS MUSLIMS SOMEONE GAVE ÂŁ15,400!!!

Episode Stats


Length

18 minutes

Words per minute

231.73

Word count

4,302

Sentence count

473

Harmful content

Misogyny

49

sentences flagged

Toxicity

56

sentences flagged

Hate speech

38

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about the concept of entitlement and what it means to be entitled in the modern world. Do you feel entitled to anything? Are you entitled to love, affection, protection, etc. in a modern world? Or do you feel you are not entitled to any of that?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Guys, before the video starts, I'm doing a winter appeal for Syria, Afghanistan and Ethiopia, brothers and sisters, inshaAllah.
00:00:04.540 People are literally freezing. We would never live in those conditions.
00:00:07.860 Help me reach my target to give them some more.
00:00:09.760 I've done the 7-day free trial of the Qur'anly app and it exceeded all my expectations.
00:00:14.100 Brothers and sisters, you can build a habit with the Qur'an by 7-day free trial, brothers and sisters.
00:00:18.500 No credit card details required at all.
00:00:20.220 And you decide for yourself, is it overrated or is it underrated?
00:00:27.180 The English cursor, yeah?
00:00:28.460 So now they say, oh, this is manipulating your wife or, you know, telling her that she's going to get some kind of a curse or whatever, maybe get sin for not having intimacy.
00:00:38.180 But the issue here is, I'm the one that's being abused because if I'm married, no, I am, yes, excuse me, sister, I'm married.
00:00:44.120 If you're married, your partner expects...
00:00:45.820 You're not entitled to anything.
00:00:46.640 No, no, no. What do you mean by entitled?
00:00:49.040 Is my wife... Okay, forget my wife. An individual is married. 1.00
00:00:52.500 Is their wife entitled to intimacy? 0.88
00:00:55.160 No.
00:00:55.920 She's not.
00:00:56.320 Okay, are they entitled to love, affection?
00:01:00.120 I mean, within the constraints of a marriage, you decide what's all right for you in that marriage.
00:01:05.420 If you say, hey, my wife never wants to have sex with me and I don't appreciate that in a marriage, you can go... 0.73
00:01:10.880 No, no, no. We're not talking about condition made pre-marriage, yeah?
00:01:14.920 I'm talking about pre-marriage, post-marriage.
00:01:16.680 It is.
00:01:17.240 If you're unhappy with something in your marriage, it's within your rights to end that marriage to seek out a new one.
00:01:22.280 But we're not talking about that. We're not talking about... We're talking about an instant moment of one saying,
00:01:25.900 No sex with you today. 0.93
00:01:28.620 I'm talking about that. 0.96
00:01:29.660 Okay.
00:01:29.920 So, when you talk about entitlement, what are two parties entitled to?
00:01:34.460 So, for example...
00:01:35.500 When it comes to sex, nothing.
00:01:36.700 Okay, okay. No, no, no. Who makes this condition, by the way?
00:01:39.280 And secondly, am I entitled to... Is a man entitled to say that when a robber goes in the house, he says to his wife,
00:01:45.940 Go. I'm locking the door. Deal with the situation. Let me know when it's done.
00:01:49.560 It has nothing to do with the conversation.
00:01:51.300 It does just like... Is the woman entitled to protection? 1.00
00:01:55.580 No.
00:01:56.320 She's not? Okay, no problem. If you go with that angle, then that means she's not entitled to protection.
00:02:01.100 She's not entitled... No one's entitled to nothing. 1.00
00:02:03.380 Yeah?
00:02:03.980 Probably.
00:02:04.900 I'm entitled to you to buy the home.
00:02:06.680 No, no, no. I'm entitled to nothing. No shopping, nothing.
00:02:08.640 No, I don't believe I'm entitled to anything from a robber.
00:02:12.060 No, I'm going to be like a robot. Not you. I'm not talking about you, sister.
00:02:14.140 I don't think women in any... Any woman is entitled to anything from a bitch. 1.00
00:02:18.860 In what sense you mean that? 0.98
00:02:20.800 I mean, when you enter into a relationship, it's up to you and the other person in the relationship to decide what you want in that relationship,
00:02:27.880 in terms of love, in terms of affection, in terms of intimacy.
00:02:30.200 Okay. Yeah, that's great.
00:02:30.980 Okay, you meet person A. Person A says, you're not entitled to nothing from me.
00:02:37.480 Then I would say, all right, that's fair, but I don't want to be married to somebody that...
00:02:41.280 No problem. Then you meet another guy and he says, you're not entitled to nothing from me.
00:02:44.600 Then I wouldn't be married to any man if he said something like that.
00:02:47.240 Do you see the problem here? Now, what we've done is we've got a false reality and we apply it.
00:02:52.480 If every man said... 0.98
00:02:53.640 I think if women don't want to have sex with you, that's a problem you should have sex with someone. 1.00
00:02:56.980 I'm not even talking about that. I'm talking about a bigger problem here. 0.98
00:02:59.280 What I'm trying to say is, when you use the term that no one is entitled to anything,
00:03:02.860 then you have a society, a malfunctioning society.
00:03:05.980 Because you're saying, you're not entitled to this.
00:03:07.860 Well, if that's the case, any man walking down the road should not in any way or shape feel entitled to protect a woman.
00:03:13.700 You shouldn't.
00:03:14.520 No, but there's a problem because now you're going to have a woman. 1.00
00:03:17.220 For example, imagine Sarah Everett, what was her name?
00:03:20.400 Yeah, the one who got killed by a police officer.
00:03:23.940 Come on, everybody knows that.
00:03:25.160 Guys, I'm following the news. What's that?
00:03:26.180 Yeah, okay.
00:03:27.520 It was tragic.
00:03:28.960 So imagine me walking down the road and I hear...
00:03:30.760 Imagine I hear her screaming. 0.79
00:03:32.160 And I say, I don't care.
00:03:35.260 I don't want to rely on a man to protect me down the street.
00:03:38.120 Because at the end of the day...
00:03:39.340 No, you have no choice but to rely on him.
00:03:41.140 No?
00:03:41.740 Well, I know.
00:03:42.240 Maybe I'm carrying right now.
00:03:43.960 You're not in the UK.
00:03:45.260 You're not in America. 0.97
00:03:46.200 Maybe I have pepper spray.
00:03:47.460 Maybe I have, you know...
00:03:48.640 No, that's illegal.
00:03:49.640 You'll get arrested.
00:03:50.320 I hope she knows that.
00:03:51.880 Maybe I'm a Taekwondo fighter. 0.90
00:03:54.020 Maybe I can knock you out right here. 0.97
00:03:55.460 No, no, no.
00:03:55.980 That's an exception.
00:03:57.060 There are women out there that can knock me out. 1.00
00:03:58.440 Yeah, I have no other thing about that.
00:03:59.680 Yeah.
00:03:59.960 The point is this, is that...
00:04:01.340 Every person is somehow in one way entitled...
00:04:05.780 Not that you ask for that.
00:04:06.700 For example, we live in this...
00:04:08.220 For example, Thomas Hobbes talks about contractualism.
00:04:10.240 Yeah?
00:04:10.520 We live in this...
00:04:11.200 No, I know.
00:04:12.720 But we live in this land.
00:04:13.400 If I cross the red light...
00:04:14.720 I'm not going to say...
00:04:15.660 I never agree to these laws.
00:04:16.640 You can't give me free points.
00:04:18.540 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:04:19.220 You are not entitled to give me a free point.
00:04:21.120 I live in this land.
00:04:22.400 I enjoy a lot of things in these lands.
00:04:24.800 So I have to abide by the Lord.
00:04:26.280 What I'm trying to say in a nutshell, sister,
00:04:27.860 is that the reality you're giving us doesn't fit in...
00:04:30.460 It doesn't work.
00:04:31.740 It doesn't work.
00:04:32.740 And if you're walking down the road and you are being attacked,
00:04:35.180 you would feel...
00:04:36.640 You would want...
00:04:37.520 I would hope that somebody...
00:04:38.200 Thank you.
00:04:38.940 So what do you say?
00:04:39.560 The word hope.
00:04:40.520 Yeah?
00:04:40.820 And any husband would hope that if he wants to have intimacy,
00:04:44.160 if he wants to have intimacy,
00:04:45.920 his wife... 0.73
00:04:46.760 And again, the Hadith actually doesn't tell...
00:04:48.780 The Hadith doesn't actually say that you have to force her.
00:04:51.040 He just says she'll be cursed by the angels.
00:04:53.040 That's it.
00:04:53.320 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:04:53.880 I don't think bringing religion into it is helpful 1.00
00:04:55.780 because everyone here obviously has separate beliefs.
00:04:57.700 No, of course.
00:04:58.160 That's what we're discussing, sister.
00:04:59.100 But what I'm just saying in a nutshell,
00:05:00.220 it doesn't work.
00:05:01.700 We all feel entitled somehow.
00:05:04.440 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:05:05.200 And there's nothing wrong with that.
00:05:06.080 There's nothing wrong with that.
00:05:07.640 Okay.
00:05:08.060 Well, you can feel entitled.
00:05:09.400 You can feel how...
00:05:09.960 Like you do.
00:05:10.520 Like you said, you would hope that...
00:05:12.120 I would hope.
00:05:12.900 That's good.
00:05:13.480 But, you know...
00:05:14.500 Why do you feel that hope?
00:05:16.240 Why hope?
00:05:16.700 Why don't you say, you know what, I...
00:05:18.040 I would hope that regardless if it's a man, a woman, anything...
00:05:20.320 Anybody, of course, of course.
00:05:21.620 I would hope that if I was getting attacked by someone at the night
00:05:23.880 that somebody walking along would help me.
00:05:25.520 But I also recognize that by doing that,
00:05:28.340 whoever's helping me may be putting themselves in danger.
00:05:30.620 Exactly.
00:05:31.020 There's other factors to consider in situations like this.
00:05:33.600 And I would venture to believe
00:05:34.980 that I think there's things that people should be entitled to
00:05:37.420 that you think people should not be entitled to.
00:05:39.660 I don't even say that, by the way.
00:05:40.680 Right.
00:05:40.900 As I came out of the train station,
00:05:42.160 there's multiple people sleeping on the ground.
00:05:43.740 And I think those people deserve a home to live in.
00:05:46.000 I think those people deserve a warm place to sleep.
00:05:47.860 Yeah.
00:05:48.400 A lot of people in this country would say,
00:05:50.140 oh, well, they're not entitled to anything.
00:05:53.740 But maybe some...
00:05:55.160 I'm not saying...
00:05:55.600 It comes down to human decency.
00:05:57.120 It comes down to compassion.
00:05:58.260 That's what I'm talking about.
00:05:59.240 Then why can't a woman have compassion on her husband 1.00
00:06:01.640 and think...
00:06:02.460 I understand.
00:06:03.080 The compassion goes both ways.
00:06:04.560 It's a two-way street.
00:06:05.160 No, of course, of course.
00:06:06.180 No, I want to stop.
00:06:07.460 I'm not comfortable with this.
00:06:08.880 To keep going...
00:06:09.240 No, of course.
00:06:10.040 No, I never even said that.
00:06:11.520 I never even said...
00:06:12.360 If a woman says stop and the man says... 1.00
00:06:13.780 No, you shut up.
00:06:14.420 If she says she stopped and she's abusing her husband... 0.99
00:06:16.260 No, no, no, no.
00:06:17.060 What I'm saying is...
00:06:17.880 If we look at, for example, the studies that I quoted,
00:06:19.720 which I'll read for the camera again.
00:06:20.720 The camera quote here.
00:06:21.340 That's what I understood as well.
00:06:23.020 No, no, sister.
00:06:24.020 No, no.
00:06:24.460 What I'm saying is, sister,
00:06:25.320 when there was a study done on a woman's sex drive 1.00
00:06:27.680 and a man's sex drive, yeah?
00:06:28.780 And the studies...
00:06:30.000 No, it's not generally, sister.
00:06:31.060 It's a study that was done.
00:06:32.080 The study shows very clearly
00:06:33.120 that a man's sexual drive 0.58
00:06:34.700 is nowhere compared to a woman's. 0.99
00:06:36.920 Meaning that how...
00:06:38.720 It's always by default.
00:06:39.620 This is...
00:06:40.200 This is...
00:06:40.520 Yes.
00:06:40.880 Look, I'll read it, please.
00:06:41.920 There's no woman on this planet 1.00
00:06:43.260 who sexually...
00:06:43.820 No, there's exclusive.
00:06:45.860 I mean, there's certain situations.
00:06:48.140 We're talking generally.
00:06:49.040 It does.
00:06:49.460 Look, let me read the study.
00:06:51.140 Okay, let me read it for the sister, yeah?
00:06:52.620 I heard you.
00:06:53.140 I heard.
00:06:53.540 Did you hear me?
00:06:54.600 Okay, let me just read it just for a context
00:06:55.860 before people come and start saying
00:06:57.120 that I'm condoning a husband raping a wife, yeah? 0.98
00:07:00.600 The sex drive refers to the strength of sexual motivation.
00:07:03.120 Across many different studies and measures,
00:07:05.320 men have shown to have more frequent
00:07:06.740 and more intense sexual desires than women's. 0.86
00:07:09.680 As reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex,
00:07:11.980 frequency, and variety of sexual fantasies,
00:07:14.320 desired frequency of intercourse,
00:07:15.940 desired number of partners, 0.96
00:07:17.340 masturbation, 0.99
00:07:18.040 liking for various sexual practices, 0.57
00:07:19.800 willingness to forego sex, 0.68
00:07:21.960 initiating versus refusing sex,
00:07:23.640 making sacrifices for sex,
00:07:25.140 and other measures.
00:07:26.040 Listen carefully, sister.
00:07:27.120 No contrary findings
00:07:28.560 indicating stronger sexual motivation
00:07:30.640 among women were found. 0.79
00:07:32.240 What that means is the following, sister.
00:07:33.840 You are created in a certain way.
00:07:35.440 I am created in a certain way.
00:07:36.340 Yeah, that's the biological difference.
00:07:37.960 I know, I know.
00:07:39.180 But what I'm saying is,
00:07:40.400 biologic difference is this.
00:07:41.800 A man is stronger than a woman. 1.00
00:07:44.220 But I believe a woman is mentally more stronger than a man. 0.99
00:07:47.460 There are studies that show that as well.
00:07:48.360 I believe men are women,
00:07:50.020 and that's the reason why men tend to commit suicide more.
00:07:52.800 Yeah?
00:07:53.680 It's just a fact.
00:07:54.760 So therefore,
00:07:55.320 what we're seeing is biologically,
00:07:57.040 that a man's desire for the opposite gender 0.97
00:07:59.520 is more frequent and more stronger.
00:08:01.880 Therefore,
00:08:02.700 if a man comes to his wife he has married, 0.98
00:08:05.640 and he loves,
00:08:06.480 and they love each other,
00:08:07.420 and says,
00:08:08.120 I want to have intimacy,
00:08:09.200 and she says,
00:08:09.880 no.
00:08:10.940 And when I mean no,
00:08:11.540 it's not,
00:08:11.980 I'm not feeling well,
00:08:13.500 I'm tired,
00:08:14.440 I'm on my menses,
00:08:15.460 I'm not talking about that.
00:08:16.260 He's not going to say no.
00:08:17.500 No, no, no, no, no,
00:08:18.640 but this is what I'm trying to say,
00:08:19.520 sister,
00:08:19.820 if this woman says no,
00:08:21.740 I don't care.
00:08:22.680 That means she doesn't want to be with him.
00:08:23.840 Okay, okay,
00:08:24.560 no, okay,
00:08:25.000 what I'm saying is,
00:08:25.900 is she abusing him,
00:08:27.240 yes or no?
00:08:27.600 She's not abusing because of us.
00:08:28.460 Yes, he is.
00:08:29.380 Okay, okay, okay,
00:08:30.580 okay,
00:08:31.260 okay,
00:08:31.920 okay,
00:08:32.440 all right,
00:08:33.060 okay,
00:08:33.480 sister,
00:08:33.760 if that's the case,
00:08:34.180 no problem.
00:08:34.560 No, no, no,
00:08:35.000 no, listen,
00:08:35.600 you can't take our biology.
00:08:37.260 Why not?
00:08:38.180 When it comes to strength,
00:08:38.980 we do.
00:08:40.180 Okay,
00:08:40.820 because I agree there's
00:08:42.100 biological differences
00:08:43.220 between women and men,
00:08:44.240 and the reason,
00:08:45.380 I mean,
00:08:45.860 I don't know,
00:08:46.240 I'm not a biologist,
00:08:47.280 like,
00:08:47.640 I'm not a scientist,
00:08:48.400 I don't know,
00:08:48.780 I can't tell you the exact time,
00:08:50.080 but biologically,
00:08:52.580 let's say,
00:08:53.260 when humans were first,
00:08:54.820 like,
00:08:55.480 evolving,
00:08:56.820 the aim,
00:08:58.020 you know,
00:08:58.480 survival of the fittest,
00:08:59.500 the aim is to spread your seed
00:09:01.380 as much as you can,
00:09:02.500 populate the earth
00:09:03.420 as much as you can,
00:09:04.280 but we don't live in the dark ages,
00:09:05.640 we live in an age
00:09:06.340 where women have agency, 1.00
00:09:07.840 women have agency 0.95
00:09:08.820 over themselves
00:09:09.560 and over their body,
00:09:10.560 and we don't live in an age
00:09:12.100 where we have to succumb
00:09:13.320 to every biological...
00:09:14.780 No,
00:09:15.100 that's fine sister,
00:09:15.660 but how is it,
00:09:16.320 I'm not talking about
00:09:17.140 the dark ages
00:09:17.660 or the cave ages,
00:09:18.480 sister,
00:09:18.600 what I'm trying to say
00:09:19.100 in a nutshell is this,
00:09:21.320 a man,
00:09:21.860 what we're saying is this,
00:09:22.760 studies that show
00:09:23.500 a man's sex drive 0.70
00:09:24.380 is higher than a woman's. 0.97
00:09:25.160 Sure,
00:09:25.340 but I see that.
00:09:26.040 There's nothing different.
00:09:26.780 No,
00:09:27.000 it's not,
00:09:27.460 sister,
00:09:27.720 excuse me,
00:09:28.080 if you have a specific need
00:09:29.620 in a specific area,
00:09:30.680 it's not a need,
00:09:31.180 you're not gonna die.
00:09:31.960 Okay,
00:09:32.100 okay,
00:09:32.300 okay,
00:09:32.560 one second,
00:09:33.480 okay,
00:09:33.640 one second,
00:09:33.980 let's reverse it.
00:09:35.320 No problem,
00:09:36.860 the studies show 0.79
00:09:37.640 a woman's sex drive 1.00
00:09:38.800 is 500 times higher 0.99
00:09:40.300 than a man.
00:09:40.840 Ali,
00:09:41.220 this child friendly conversation.
00:09:42.820 No,
00:09:43.040 no,
00:09:43.160 it's not,
00:09:43.440 I'm so sorry,
00:09:43.860 I'm so sorry,
00:09:44.900 sorry,
00:09:45.520 sorry,
00:09:45.760 sorry,
00:09:45.860 sorry,
00:09:46.480 sorry,
00:09:46.740 sorry,
00:09:47.020 if there's any kids,
00:09:48.340 please leave the area.
00:09:51.040 So,
00:09:51.600 if,
00:09:51.920 if,
00:09:52.340 if,
00:09:52.960 it's a baby,
00:09:53.720 she won't,
00:09:54.400 remember it a bit.
00:09:56.400 So,
00:09:56.820 the thing is,
00:09:57.280 if that's the case,
00:09:58.500 and if a man,
00:09:59.120 if a man,
00:09:59.760 a wife says,
00:10:00.540 you know,
00:10:00.720 I want to have intimacy,
00:10:01.820 and he says,
00:10:03.300 no,
00:10:03.840 you're not getting nothing.
00:10:05.160 I swear to God,
00:10:05.860 feminists will lose, 1.00
00:10:06.740 they'll rip their hair out. 1.00
00:10:07.620 They will rip their hair out 0.96
00:10:09.180 in Hyde Park. 1.00
00:10:10.340 He's sexually abusing her. 0.98
00:10:11.860 Oh, 0.99
00:10:12.000 she wants intimacy,
00:10:13.200 some love and affection.
00:10:14.480 Oh,
00:10:14.680 it's okay when it's a woman, 0.72
00:10:16.180 poor woman, 1.00
00:10:17.000 but when it's a man,
00:10:17.900 be a man.
00:10:18.940 This is,
00:10:19.160 this is double standards.
00:10:20.560 No,
00:10:20.960 because if I'm in,
00:10:22.240 if I'm in a relationship
00:10:23.100 with someone,
00:10:23.600 and I say,
00:10:24.060 hey,
00:10:24.300 I'm not getting what I need
00:10:25.320 out of this relationship,
00:10:26.480 either,
00:10:26.740 either something changes,
00:10:29.700 or I leave,
00:10:30.800 or he leaves.
00:10:31.700 It's that simple.
00:10:32.600 You find a partner
00:10:33.340 that's not giving you
00:10:34.160 what you want.
00:10:34.580 But I'm not talking
00:10:35.080 about that,
00:10:35.420 sister.
00:10:35.840 Of course,
00:10:36.240 if I was that man,
00:10:37.460 I'll tell him to go
00:10:38.340 and get married again.
00:10:39.940 No long time.
00:10:40.780 I'll tell him straight away,
00:10:41.700 go and get married again.
00:10:43.480 Because,
00:10:44.040 because,
00:10:44.580 because if it's not working out,
00:10:45.700 of course,
00:10:45.960 look,
00:10:46.060 in this time we have divorce.
00:10:46.980 Like Jewish, 1.00
00:10:47.740 in the Jewish religion,
00:10:49.700 a woman is not allowed 1.00
00:10:50.380 to get a divorce
00:10:50.820 until the husband initiates.
00:10:51.980 In this time we don't have that.
00:10:53.060 A woman can go get a divorce, 1.00
00:10:54.320 a man can get a divorce. 0.99
00:10:55.460 My issue is not that.
00:10:56.800 There is abuse happening
00:10:58.200 towards the man,
00:10:59.720 and I'm not saying
00:11:00.420 the man has to force himself,
00:11:01.720 I'm not saying that.
00:11:02.560 All I'm saying is,
00:11:03.700 if she says no,
00:11:04.940 she is abusing him. 0.94
00:11:07.720 And for you,
00:11:08.360 yes,
00:11:08.620 tell me why not.
00:11:09.100 Please,
00:11:09.400 can someone tell me
00:11:10.320 and with evidence,
00:11:11.560 why not?
00:11:11.940 Because there must be abuse him.
00:11:14.660 Sister,
00:11:15.040 whatever, 1.00
00:11:15.420 she is the evil person. 1.00
00:11:16.760 She is the evil. 1.00
00:11:17.320 She is the evil person. 1.00
00:11:19.040 Hold on, 0.98
00:11:19.940 so what is the reason
00:11:20.820 he is cheating on her?
00:11:23.100 No,
00:11:23.420 you see what you are doing now?
00:11:24.240 You see what I mean?
00:11:24.700 So I'm saying there is a reason.
00:11:25.580 No,
00:11:25.740 I know,
00:11:26.180 I know.
00:11:26.520 There is no woman 1.00
00:11:27.000 who loves her husband.
00:11:27.520 My dear sister,
00:11:28.380 my dear sister,
00:11:29.000 I know.
00:11:29.740 I'm giving you a specific,
00:11:31.520 isolated situation.
00:11:33.660 Where there is no...
00:11:34.160 Because what are you doing?
00:11:35.100 What are you doing now?
00:11:36.320 I hope so I don't understand
00:11:36.880 what you are saying.
00:11:37.280 Are you Muslim?
00:11:38.100 You are doing good assumptions
00:11:39.300 for your sister.
00:11:40.000 That's good.
00:11:40.740 Maybe it's this,
00:11:41.460 I understand.
00:11:42.360 But what I'm saying
00:11:42.940 is the following,
00:11:43.540 yeah?
00:11:44.100 If the situation is
00:11:45.600 that he's a good guy,
00:11:47.480 he doesn't cheat on her,
00:11:48.420 he provides for her,
00:11:49.460 he loves her.
00:11:50.240 Okay.
00:11:50.960 Came home one day.
00:11:51.800 She won't do that then.
00:11:53.420 I know,
00:11:53.720 I know.
00:11:54.440 Okay,
00:11:54.740 I'm saying if she did.
00:11:56.600 Okay.
00:11:57.100 I'm not talking about
00:11:57.600 if she's not well.
00:11:58.540 And it's always.
00:11:59.680 No,
00:11:59.920 no,
00:12:00.060 always,
00:12:00.340 always.
00:12:01.620 Yeah,
00:12:01.960 let's say she's doing it always.
00:12:03.040 Okay,
00:12:03.200 so of course that's not right.
00:12:04.540 That's not a relationship.
00:12:04.920 Is that abuse?
00:12:06.580 No.
00:12:06.760 It's a type of,
00:12:07.500 it's a type of.
00:12:08.420 That's what I'm saying.
00:12:09.640 Hold on,
00:12:10.020 that's what I'm saying.
00:12:11.580 No,
00:12:11.760 because at the end of the day,
00:12:12.880 at the end of the day,
00:12:14.080 a woman has agency over herself 1.00
00:12:15.520 as much as you have agency
00:12:16.640 over herself.
00:12:16.980 Yeah,
00:12:17.140 I know,
00:12:17.440 I know she doesn't.
00:12:18.200 What I'm saying is,
00:12:18.820 is it abuse or not?
00:12:19.540 I'm not saying she doesn't have agency.
00:12:20.640 Of course it's not abuse.
00:12:21.460 There is nothing abusive about that.
00:12:23.160 Okay,
00:12:23.360 no problem.
00:12:23.840 Okay,
00:12:24.060 if that's the case,
00:12:24.660 you walk down the road,
00:12:25.900 sister,
00:12:26.300 you walk down the road,
00:12:27.060 a man with a gun, 1.00
00:12:28.560 and I just watch you get killed. 0.99
00:12:29.940 And that's not, 0.99
00:12:30.860 I believe that's a form of abuse.
00:12:32.840 No,
00:12:33.000 you know why?
00:12:33.380 No,
00:12:33.520 excuse me.
00:12:34.260 If a woman who's vulnerable 0.96
00:12:35.700 being attacked by a group of men,
00:12:37.560 and I am there getting popcorn,
00:12:39.840 wow,
00:12:40.120 look at that,
00:12:40.460 look at that machine.
00:12:41.300 One second.
00:12:42.380 No,
00:12:42.620 one second.
00:12:42.980 I know,
00:12:43.340 what I'm trying to say is this.
00:12:44.600 Is what I'm doing,
00:12:46.000 a part of that,
00:12:46.980 she's being attacked.
00:12:48.000 I have full capabilities
00:12:49.340 to stop it or help her.
00:12:51.580 If I choose to step back,
00:12:52.740 like they say,
00:12:53.500 the person that is silent
00:12:54.800 is the silent devil
00:12:56.720 or something along those lines,
00:12:57.540 yeah?
00:12:57.940 The point I'm trying to say is this.
00:12:59.440 It's a lack of compassion,
00:13:00.400 but it's not.
00:13:00.820 No.
00:13:01.820 Okay,
00:13:02.160 call it whatever you like.
00:13:03.240 Lack of compassion,
00:13:04.460 any other word,
00:13:04.980 and I wouldn't be in a relationship
00:13:06.720 with somebody that would take compassion.
00:13:07.400 No,
00:13:07.420 of course not.
00:13:08.240 We're not talking about that.
00:13:08.940 Sister,
00:13:09.140 I know you wouldn't be in a relationship.
00:13:10.580 The man,
00:13:10.940 I'll tell the man,
00:13:12.080 if she's carrying on like that,
00:13:13.500 divorce her. 0.61
00:13:14.320 The point I'm just trying to say
00:13:15.500 is that men do get abused also.
00:13:18.280 Men do get abused.
00:13:18.900 Yes,
00:13:19.220 let's get this right.
00:13:20.000 Just because a woman cries, 0.97
00:13:21.620 like if it was a woman here, 0.97
00:13:23.140 I swear to God,
00:13:23.740 if it was a woman here crying and saying,
00:13:24.620 my husband,
00:13:25.320 I told him to have intimacy with me
00:13:26.500 and he didn't,
00:13:27.460 I swear to God,
00:13:28.220 we'll start charity for her.
00:13:29.440 We'll do a fundraising right now.
00:13:30.600 She raised ÂŁ20,000.
00:13:31.740 It is.
00:13:32.260 But when it's a man, 0.60
00:13:33.300 and this is why men commit suicide
00:13:34.520 because they can't express their feelings.
00:13:36.280 If they cry, 0.70
00:13:37.120 they're a little wimp.
00:13:38.120 So the point I'm trying to make 0.99
00:13:39.580 is that there are women that abuse 1.00
00:13:41.440 and when it comes to this,
00:13:42.440 when we talk about biology,
00:13:43.660 we show the study that shows
00:13:44.780 a man's sex drive is higher than a woman's. 0.91
00:13:46.380 But let's talk about physical ability,
00:13:47.840 capabilities.
00:13:49.060 A man is more stronger.
00:13:49.980 I forgot.
00:13:50.180 I was going to leave for something,
00:13:50.880 but I was very...
00:13:51.500 Thank you, sister.
00:13:52.000 Sorry if I got a bit passionate.
00:13:53.000 No, no, that's okay.
00:13:53.900 I'll get very excited sometime.
00:13:55.200 Thank you, sister.
00:13:55.880 Thank you.
00:13:56.480 In a nutshell,
00:13:56.960 what I'm trying to say is this here.
00:13:58.160 I think you maybe disagreed with me.
00:14:02.260 The point I'm trying to say is
00:14:03.080 I'm more stronger than a woman.
00:14:05.100 But some women are kickboxing. 1.00
00:14:06.220 They're more stronger than me.
00:14:06.940 They can knock me out.
00:14:08.520 Generally.
00:14:09.380 So if that's the case,
00:14:10.260 if I'm walking with my wife
00:14:11.220 and somebody comes and takes a knife out,
00:14:14.080 in that very instance,
00:14:15.460 my wife is entitled to protection from me. 1.00
00:14:18.380 Period.
00:14:19.240 I can't come and say,
00:14:20.060 oh, darling, you know,
00:14:20.860 throw it out.
00:14:21.700 Call me when you're done.
00:14:23.280 She will come and say,
00:14:24.140 this guy,
00:14:24.580 you know what I'll be called?
00:14:25.120 I'll be called the biggest names on the street. 1.00
00:14:27.120 Cowards. 1.00
00:14:27.680 You are this. 1.00
00:14:28.500 You're the one reason she got stabbed.
00:14:30.100 But why is it when it's biologically
00:14:32.800 that I'm stronger than her
00:14:34.160 in that very instance,
00:14:35.460 it's okay.
00:14:36.480 But when it comes to the sex drive,
00:14:38.020 oh, no, no, no, no.
00:14:38.580 It's not abuse.
00:14:39.460 How do you find the word entitled?
00:14:41.540 What does entitled mean?
00:14:44.620 I would say in a nutshell,
00:14:46.140 it is something that it's,
00:14:47.480 maybe,
00:14:48.500 I might be wrong,
00:14:49.240 innately that we have.
00:14:50.600 That for example,
00:14:51.700 if I say,
00:14:52.760 if I give you a coffee,
00:14:54.240 I would expect a thank you.
00:14:55.860 Or I would maybe be entitled
00:14:57.660 to not be abused
00:14:58.800 or insulted.
00:15:00.240 It's an entitlement
00:15:01.320 that you don't have to give.
00:15:02.300 It's something that I expect.
00:15:04.260 So do you get it?
00:15:05.580 Yeah.
00:15:06.040 So it's something that I expect
00:15:07.820 subconsciously,
00:15:08.880 but it's not something
00:15:09.720 that you have to do.
00:15:11.000 But when you don't do it,
00:15:12.640 it tells me a little bit about you.
00:15:14.700 So if you come and say,
00:15:15.400 Ali, here you go.
00:15:16.360 This is,
00:15:16.720 I bought you an iPhone 13.
00:15:18.760 Argument sake.
00:15:19.320 Yeah.
00:15:19.800 And I say,
00:15:20.920 okay,
00:15:21.760 bye.
00:15:23.120 Now that says a lot about
00:15:24.280 who I am now.
00:15:25.260 And it tells you a lot
00:15:26.220 about who you are.
00:15:27.360 So in a nutshell,
00:15:28.000 what I'm just trying to say
00:15:28.840 is that when we give
00:15:29.540 these scenarios,
00:15:30.540 is that when it's a woman 1.00
00:15:32.620 or when a woman cries,
00:15:34.680 it's,
00:15:35.640 why men?
00:15:36.800 Men are more 1.00
00:15:37.800 psychologically weaker, 0.99
00:15:40.020 I believe.
00:15:40.820 Yeah.
00:15:40.980 And we see that.
00:15:41.900 Yeah.
00:15:42.240 Women tend to get over 1.00
00:15:43.180 relationships faster.
00:15:44.140 There's studies that show that,
00:15:45.360 you know,
00:15:45.820 you know,
00:15:46.140 you have that meme
00:15:46.620 which shows,
00:15:47.080 you know,
00:15:47.240 first week of breakup,
00:15:48.080 the man is like,
00:15:49.180 and the girl's like, 0.94
00:15:50.180 and then three weeks later,
00:15:51.820 the guy's crying
00:15:52.580 and the woman, 0.79
00:15:53.700 it's,
00:15:54.020 we see that.
00:15:54.680 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:15:55.380 So I'm just saying,
00:15:56.240 let's just be consistent
00:15:57.500 and accept this fact
00:15:59.080 that if a man,
00:16:00.400 for example,
00:16:00.780 is married,
00:16:01.820 loves his wife,
00:16:02.460 he's good to his wife
00:16:03.180 and he wants to have intimacy
00:16:04.400 and he calls her to have intimacy
00:16:06.100 and she says,
00:16:06.560 no,
00:16:06.940 that is a form of abuse.
00:16:09.000 I believe that.
00:16:09.980 And if anyone can tell me
00:16:10.960 why I'm wrong,
00:16:11.740 I don't respect that.
00:16:13.440 It's the same way,
00:16:14.440 you know,
00:16:14.680 I believe it's a form of abuse
00:16:15.980 if she's being attacked
00:16:17.200 and I just watch it happen.
00:16:18.180 one consequence 1.00
00:16:23.160 is that one's going to kill you,
00:16:24.840 the other one doesn't.
00:16:25.960 Like the refusal of intimacy
00:16:27.760 doesn't kill the man,
00:16:29.660 but in an instance
00:16:30.340 where a man
00:16:30.880 takes a step back
00:16:32.140 and lets his wife get stabbed, 0.82
00:16:33.960 that's death. 0.96
00:16:34.840 So one is worse off.
00:16:36.100 Yeah,
00:16:36.240 but those are two
00:16:36.840 very different scenarios.
00:16:37.940 Well,
00:16:38.140 it is,
00:16:38.460 but that's the,
00:16:38.940 they both,
00:16:39.520 it's a bit of a straw man.
00:16:40.580 But why is it a straw man?
00:16:41.880 Because one is one person
00:16:43.040 being attacked
00:16:43.640 or being killed.
00:16:44.500 Exactly.
00:16:45.420 But based on biology,
00:16:46.640 we're talking about,
00:16:47.760 but we're talking about
00:16:48.500 how men and women are created.
00:16:50.020 That's why I'm giving you
00:16:50.760 that example
00:16:51.300 because one is an example
00:16:52.780 of how we are created
00:16:54.380 when it comes to the sex drive
00:16:55.700 and the other is
00:16:56.520 how we're created
00:16:57.100 based on our physical abilities.
00:16:58.960 So I'm giving,
00:16:59.640 I'm saying as a man,
00:17:00.500 I have these,
00:17:01.320 this is my weakness,
00:17:02.200 for example.
00:17:02.660 A man's weakness is, 1.00
00:17:04.000 he has a high sex drive. 0.95
00:17:04.960 He has to have intimacy. 0.99
00:17:06.140 A woman's weakness 1.00
00:17:06.840 is she's physically weak.
00:17:08.460 So I need to cater for her there
00:17:10.360 and she will need
00:17:11.440 to cater for me here.
00:17:12.280 Now this doesn't mean,
00:17:13.500 force.
00:17:13.920 If I say,
00:17:14.640 if a man says to his wife,
00:17:15.940 come and have intimacy,
00:17:16.780 she says no,
00:17:17.680 I believe that man
00:17:18.620 should say,
00:17:19.080 you know what,
00:17:19.480 I want to end this relationship.
00:17:20.880 I'm not saying
00:17:21.440 you should go and
00:17:22.040 force yourself on it.
00:17:23.420 Which man would
00:17:24.160 in their right mind do that?
00:17:24.980 I'm not saying that.
00:17:25.820 I'm saying
00:17:26.300 what she's doing is abuse 1.00
00:17:27.480 and he has a right for divorce.
00:17:29.440 Don't you think
00:17:30.080 there might be better men
00:17:31.380 to get better
00:17:32.280 at controlling their sex drive?
00:17:33.760 No,
00:17:34.080 no,
00:17:34.500 this is absolutely,
00:17:35.260 you know what this is,
00:17:35.860 you're kicking the guy
00:17:36.680 on the floor.
00:17:37.240 Bang! 1.00
00:17:38.220 Yeah,
00:17:38.620 you're kicking me, 0.99
00:17:39.480 that's what you're doing.
00:17:40.340 And as a man,
00:17:40.860 how could you say that?
00:17:42.200 How could you say that as a man?
00:17:43.500 He is,
00:17:43.940 he's been refused intimacy
00:17:44.980 and on top of that,
00:17:46.360 you control your sex drives
00:17:47.680 and studies show that
00:17:48.880 the way a man is created,
00:17:50.560 that his sex drive 0.88
00:17:51.240 is nowhere compared to a woman 1.00
00:17:52.520 and on top of that,
00:17:53.260 what else?
00:17:53.540 Can you imagine
00:17:53.940 if you say this to a woman?
00:17:55.280 Imagine studies show 0.87
00:17:56.020 a woman's sex drive 1.00
00:17:56.600 is higher than a man's 0.97
00:17:57.460 and then she's like,
00:17:58.320 well I want intimacy,
00:17:59.080 he's not giving it to me.
00:17:59.880 Sister, 0.99
00:18:00.220 control your sex drive. 1.00
00:18:01.160 What's wrong with you? 0.98
00:18:02.260 You know what,
00:18:02.640 Rob,
00:18:02.920 you know what else he does?
00:18:04.220 This guy,
00:18:04.680 he said,
00:18:04.860 this guy's a vialim, 0.98
00:18:05.560 he's an oppressor. 0.99
00:18:06.560 He's an oppressor. 0.98
00:18:07.960 This is what I'm saying.
00:18:08.860 I don't think it's right.
00:18:09.540 I think we need to really,
00:18:10.760 you know,
00:18:11.180 and like I said before,
00:18:13.180 in Islam,
00:18:13.920 we have a hadith
00:18:14.380 of the Prophet,
00:18:14.980 peace be upon him,
00:18:15.720 where a woman came 0.80
00:18:16.440 and complained
00:18:16.900 that her husband
00:18:17.380 doesn't sexually satisfy her
00:18:18.540 and the Prophet,
00:18:19.840 peace be upon him,
00:18:20.260 allowed the divorce to happen.
00:18:22.100 So in Islam,
00:18:22.720 it's not like,
00:18:23.380 oh no,
00:18:23.960 if a woman is not sexually satisfied, 0.99
00:18:25.620 she has a valid reason 0.96
00:18:26.960 for divorce.
00:18:27.680 Yeah, exactly.
00:18:28.420 No.
00:18:31.060 Ah, okay.
00:18:33.080 Why would you do the man?