Ali Dawah - September 10, 2018REACTING TO JEREMY KYLE WIFE CHEATS WITH FRIEND - TAZKIYA SERIES
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode of the reaction video series, we introduce our first reaction video host, Sheik Muhammoud al-Uthman, and talk about the dangers of sex after the birth of a child, and how to overcome them.
Transcript
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hajjiz our pilgrimage we say there's no god but all of us
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and muhammad is his final messenger they want to know about islam
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alhamdulillah how are you yeah i'm good this is i think this is this is your first video yeah
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reaction it is what does reaction mean in these videos what's the common theme
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sheikh it's really beneficial because we what we do is we generally reaction videos a lot of
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people they do it's just like okay screaming shouting oh and some even fake it yeah me
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personally i hate faking things uh and also whenever i do something i i generally like
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to take benefits from it instead of just okay i watched it oh wow oh and this is it and we
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don't want people to take that as well inshallah you're seeking the benefits
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inshallah sheikh inshallah i'm trying to be with your help inshallah i will
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inshallah go along that path so brothers and sisters i want to welcome you to the house
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inshallah what we're going to do today with uh sheikh um muhammad uthman
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is that what we're going to do is firstly actually let's introduce the sheikh inshallah so
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sheikh muhammad uthman can you just tell us a little bit about yourself inshallah so our views
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because this is the first program that we're doing so my name is uh i was born and raised in
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london uk alhamdulillah i went to egypt to study uh some time ago and then went on to medina where i
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studied in the fact of hadith and i graduated uh not too long ago and i'm currently preparing my
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masters now we're doing okay what we're doing now in this series brothers and sisters is that we're doing
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uh to scare the purification of the heart purification of the heart and the soul and
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and the soul so what we're going to do is we we thought you know how can we go about it and a
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lot of the times brothers sisters as we know it's mainly you know you have uh mashaallah someone
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looking like sheikh muhammad uthman a student of knowledge who's sitting behind the desk and
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talking with little books behind him yeah mashaallah and there's there's absolutely nothing wrong but
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we thought you know what let's taste it up a bit you know let's let's bring a bit of a i would
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say like an entertainment a bit of entertainment a halal one inshallah and also at the same
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time benefit from it as well so what we're going to do brothers and sisters is go
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the whole point of the series is to talk about the diseases of the heart and how to cure that so
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the first part of is going to be is that we're going to be talking about different elements
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different things that we me myself i suffer from and how to overcome that specifically things that
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destroy a person exactly destroy a person so we're going to go then go through them one by one the
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first thing we're doing today is desires right so it's both of the stomach and the private parts so
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this one is specifically it's quite disturbing um a man slept with his best friend's girlfriend
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so it's it's this very disturbing thing but anyway what we're going to do is we're going to watch it
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and after we watch it inshallah i mean i mean and what we're going to do is after we watch it we're
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going to try to understand okay where is all this standing from so are you ready share i'm quite
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excited this is actually the first time we're doing reaction video mashaallah with a person of knowledge
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inshallah so it's going to be very beneficial for me so i'm i'm personally looking forward to it
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myself so here we go hope the guys everyone's ready here we go were they having sex after the
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baby was born or before uh i've known of once before and it was a really really few months ago
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so it could be that he's the father yeah so in essence today you might find out that your four
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month old isn't yours and the woman that you love has already lied uh because she slept with him six
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times or do you think he's making that up i don't know god you must you got the baby's name tattooed
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on your neck okay even though i i genuinely understand and to be honest i'll be honest it's
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actually even a matter of um even as a person myself i i felt a bit embarrassed and ashamed to
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even like get people of knowledge to even watch this but the benefit out of it because this is a common
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problem and we really want to come to the core elements of what's causing this to avoid it so inshallah if
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i'm just going to request you let's just watch another minute of it just to get the gist of it
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and then let's tackle because i know it's disturbing to watch believe me even you know being here it's
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it's it's it's it's a bit embarrassing to get you to watch it but it's just to so we can because
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there's a lot of people suffer from this and we really want to give them the fear inshallah
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just another minute inshallah and then we'll move on
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i'll cut that bit everything you're the wronged party in this why did you come here today
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if you're the dad can she and you make this work
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probably is that jordan on the right with the baby yeah what's he doing in the hospital with
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the baby i took him to go up see him you forgave him listen to this he tried to be the bigger man
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he let him come and see the baby because he thought it was once i love this woman i'd caused problems
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we were arguing my mate slept with her but now today you find out it was more than that i like you
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i'm very very sorry for you as well just we get the gist we get the gist yeah and to be honest
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this guy he's he knew this happened okay and he's forgiving this guy yeah which i don't know how
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how he done that but the issue is let's come to the main issue why do people come to this level
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because over here this is not just like desire it's actually a matter of you know ghira there's
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there's no ghira there is protective jealousy yeah there is no shame left no um and how do people
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come to the stage of absolute you're just careless you're just like whatever happens it's like oh i'm
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okay with it like where does this come from stem from share allah i think it's uh you know there's
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a number of issues but i think for us the main thing to focus on especially in this particular
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subject is is to know that allah jalla wa ala he created within us yeah these desires okay
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every single person has it's been beautified for man certain things have been beautified for us so
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we can't ignore it okay but it's that allah jalla wa ala has wants us to use it in a particular way
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in a way that is befitting that befits us as being people a creation that have been honored
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allah says we have honored the sons of adam the children of adam okay it's about using it in the
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right way a way that pleases allah jalla wa ala so we can say by default we all have desires absolutely
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so to have a desire it's not wrong yeah it's how you go about it it's about how you go about it okay
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for example i mean there's a number of ways for uh oh i would say reasons or benefits of allah
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creating this within us number one is for the preservation of our progeny
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the continuation of our progeny which is a maqsad it's it's a high objective of this
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sharia to protect or the sharia came to protect one of the things that it came to protect was
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our lineage another thing would be that you know by having these desires and by using in a halal way
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a way that allah is pleased with and earns this reward and ajar is that we understand the ni'ma
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or the blessings in the akhira we have some kind of comprehension like a taster
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a taste if you want to call it that we know for example allah has created many things in jannah
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he's created many fruits for us and he mentions it in the quran and these things but we also know
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that nothing in jannah is like what we have in this dunya that's actually quite profound because what
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he's basically saying in a nutshell is the apple that we eat it's going to be different in paradise
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the relationship that we have with our wife is going to be different there absolutely the friendship
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the food even the things that you're amazed like the the the creation of allah so it's just like
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it's like allah's created us and said you know what look this is just like a little taster imagine
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what's in the hereafter and that's quite profound because you look and be like wow this is they call
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it like it's like paradise yeah and then imagine it's not even close to paradise that which the eye
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hasn't seen the ear hasn't heard the mind has not even thought about so we can understand from the
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shahwah and using it in the halal way we understand maybe a small percentage of what allah has prepared for
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his his those who believe in him those who obey obey his command and fulfill the pro stay away from
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the prohibition and act according to the sharia of allah okay all right so okay where does this
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disease come from and how do we like combat it he mentioned that i haven't left a fitna more harmful
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more harmful to the men than the fitna of the woman of course this goes both ways
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as well okay it does yeah this goes both ways generally in the in the sharia and the khitab
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sharii when something is addressed to men it also applies to to the woman as well likewise unless
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there's a deal that indicates the opposite doesn't allah so allah and the prophet emphasize that
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for the biggest weakness for a man like there's an actual specific emphasize for women so absolutely
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there is there is there is another hadith it's okay it's the dunya and fear the woman as well okay
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good so let's just clarify that because some now sisters are going to be watching but what are you
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trying to say our mothers so the issue we're trying to say here is this if i see for example
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um shopping is a fitna for me it's it does not mean that the item that i'm buying is evil what that
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means is that it's my it's my it can be it can be but it's it's it's the desire is a weakness that
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you have towards so we just want to make that clear that we're not saying women are evil what we're
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seeing is that it's a big weakness for men so for women for example in today's time makeup yeah
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it's a it's a weakness it doesn't mean everyone has their own particular exactly it doesn't mean
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difficult to generalize but yes it doesn't mean makeup is evil as long as it's done for your husband
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and not outside in a way that is pleasing to allah exactly so just to clarify the basic principle is
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that of course makeup is exactly about how it's used exactly that that changes and effect it yeah so you
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you know subhanallah the sharia has really placed a certain emphasis on how to use one's desires
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one carnal based desires in a way that's pleasing to allah it's not as if you know allah has created
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us with this and left us with it yeah yeah no allah has legislated for us marriage yeah alhamdulillah
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exactly so we can all get married al-nabi said from the hadith of mas'ud
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oh he was addressing the youth whomsoever of you has the ability and of course the you know the
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school is different understanding of this word most of them say the ability financial ability
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and physical ability to marry then let him get married okay and if you don't then fast and by
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fasting you know it's a protection for you and if you get married it will help you lower your gaze
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and it will help you guide your private parts it will help you guide your private parts there is a
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connection between the stomach and the private parts absolutely yes there is some of the ulama actually
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mentioned uh the ulama consent to execute the nafs and you find this mentioned by al-ghazali and
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ahiyya ul-um-ad-din and others that subhanallah the stomach itself is is the cause for most other
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shahwat most other desires oh really yeah it's actually the base you could call it that's why the
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prophet said fast this is why fasting is encouraged why because even this hadith it lowers it it weakens the
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body it weakens the body and likewise it weakens the shahwah that one finds within himself as well um likewise
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overeating except for gluttony i think if you would call it that overeating it would weaken a person
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it will strengthen a person's shahwah and therefore weaken weaken his overall state of well-being as
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well that's something that we've been commanded to to to stay away from for example uh akbar al-rasib
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he entered upon hassan al-basri hassan al-basri from the tabi'een the success of the followers of the
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sahaba uh and hassan al-basri was at this time eating and so he invited he said you want to come and eat
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with me yeah and uh said you know i've eaten so much i'm done i'm done and we've been there unfortunately
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and hassan said to him is it that a muslim does a muslim actually eat this much so that he can't eat
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anymore and it's something subhanallah strange you know the nabi said hadith that uh you know
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a believer eats with one stomach from seven stomachs subhanallah so ibn hajar actually the famous
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commentator commentator on sahib bukhari he mentioned from the characteristics of the people of iman
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is that they don't eat too much whereas the characteristics of the non-believers is that
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yes they do so in fact it's a characteristic that we have to be very wary of subhanallah okay so um
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before we come to the prevention and the cure sometimes we have uh muslim brothers and sisters
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they feel they think like um having friends with opposite gender yeah is totally fine and it's actually
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after i did a social experiment on this two years ago yeah and there's even a scientific study back to
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this yeah okay that men and women just cannot be just friends and i went outside and asked this
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and generally when i asked the females they were like yeah it's fine you know i have a lot of guy
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mates even some of them who experienced that was like no it doesn't work because i tried it and you
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and when i went to the men they were like if i had the opportunity i would want to be more than friends
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you know and so it just shows you it doesn't happen is this a problem because a lot of our
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citizens and brothers think it's okay with the opposite i'm just friends subhanallah you know
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an important principle we have in the sharia i said the right we literally if you translate that
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it will be that prevention is better than the cure yes essentially essentially says sharia it places
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certain things and it's understand it's important that we understand how this deen works yes it isn't
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a case of just random things and random places everything is structured in a perfect manner subhanallah
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this is the last revelation of the nabi so one of the preventions is as we mentioned before
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marriage what are the benefits of marriage it helps you to lower your gaze which is another
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cause of prevention as well allah says addressing both the believing men and the woman
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say to the believing men let them lower their gaze and guide their private parts
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it is more pure for them and allah is aware of everything they do the next ayah after that allah
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says and say to the believing women let them also lower their gaze and let them guide their private
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parts so lower your gaze with god it will prevent you from transgressing the boundaries following
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the footsteps of shaytan as it were that's so key sheikh you know that growing your gaze and private
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parts because there's a saying where the heart doesn't desire what the eyes don't see allah and
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allah it's very amazing it's so profound because you know you know how process connects the stomach to
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that fasting the desires how allah says you know lowering the gaze protects the private parts it's just
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well like there's so hikmah if only if we could and it's so sad you know we see a scientific study
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no and we're like yeah there was a give him more president there was a scientific study done yeah
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subhanallah allah and his messenger and wallah may allah have mercy on him he said that he took a
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doctor to tell me that i'm going to die when allah is telling me all this time and well like this is
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the thing that we need to have that when allah and his messenger says it we like okay when a scientist
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come allah look at this sad stay wearing allah is sad stay wearing but moving inshallah swiftly on
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so let's talk about the preventions and we are which we are we haven't touched upon it yeah another
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thing that the the you know the sharia aims and emphasizes on especially for our sisters they're not
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to you know do tabarraj and how do you understand tabarraj tabarraj is wearing your zina beautification
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in a way that is displeasing to allah so for example wearing beauty makeup etc outside dressing in a way
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that is fitna and it causes fitna to other people having part of the aura etc etc basically not
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having the jilbab that the sharia specifies and not having the libas the type of clothing that the
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sharia has encouraged and enjoined upon women that's another issue because also that's a prevention
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another issue is halwa like you mentioned uh friendships yes and you know secluding ourselves
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and maybe some mentioned that do not let a man be alone with a woman because the shaitan is the third
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person that's something that we have to be very you know we have to be aware of isn't it so we have
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uh talked about the preventions and the cures inshallah um and the book that you have in your hand
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shah what was it going for this is actually a book i i i mentioned it indirectly before it's called
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it's a summary of of of the way for those who intend allah those who really are hoping to to to
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to meet allah in a way that is pleasing to him now this is a summary of a longer book called
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minhaj al-qasudin which was written by a great scholar called ibn al-jawzi and that was actually
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a summary of the magnum opus of a person called hujjatul islam al-ghazali abu hamud al-ghazali the
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famous shafi'i scholar who passed away in the fifth century a true scholar of the hearts and he wrote his
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book ihya ul-u-madin a revival of the islamic sciences and the way he structured that book was
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that he divided into four parts the first part was talking about the internal aspect of the sharia
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in the sense of tahara purification prayer fasting zakat hajj things that we know of
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right we know the outward actions but he speaks about it from the inward actions how does it benefit
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one's heart okay the secrets if you want to call the inner dimensions of an action and the second
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part was that he went through the same thing with with muamalat transactions etc etc the third part is
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what we're doing today he speaks about things that destroy a person's soul and the fourth part are
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things that rescue a person's soul and this is this is what we're going to be going through this is
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what we're going to go through inshallah and this was the first part where we were talking about
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desires inshallah and we're going to move on to obviously other things as well like um the
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full speech of the tongue uh we also have pride arrogance pride arrogance delusion delusion all
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these all these issues that we all suffer from we're going to go through them one by one inshallah
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and what reaction videos relating to that and tackling each one of them inshallah so that's why is
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there anything else you want to say i think that's the jazakallahu khairan i just think with the
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stomach subhanallah we mentioned before very quickly that it was really that it's the basis of
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most of the shahwat and desires that come but likewise keeping the stomach empty or not having ones full
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of the you know becoming satiates with food has a number of benefits in fact when he mentions the
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hadith or comments on the hadith of uh that the son of adam he hasn't filled a vessel more worse than his
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stomach it's enough for him to have ukulat little muscles of food that's enough for him and if he
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can't then let him eat but let him save a third of it a third of his stomach for his food a third for
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his drink and a third for his nefes for his breathing and ibn rajab mentioned this is a long
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commentary beautiful commentary of the hadith subhanallah and then he talks about the benefits of keeping one
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stomach quite empty number one uh your heart becomes soft subhanallah you know do not overfill your
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stomachs because it hardens your heart he mentioned that once faham understanding becomes stronger as
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well he mentions one soul becomes we call it which literally translates as your soul is breaking
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but what that means is that you you know you become more less arrogant more humbled person your soul your
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heart is quicker to soften to cry and weep from the mercy of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala uh he mentioned uh
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you know subhanallah that your strength your your your strength will increase you mentioned a number
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of different for word all of it a number of different benefits all of it stemming from this
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keeping the stomach empty and likewise if you don't then it has opposite effects as well opposite one of the
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opposite negative effects is increasing your in your desires as well likewise increase in your anger as well
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it's linked to it exactly a number of things subhanallah uh hope you guys have benefited inshallah from
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that um that's about it from us inshallah try it since we're talking about fasting mondays and
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thursdays reminder to myself first as well inshallah if my mom lets me recently she's been sticking on
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saying your i'm not letting you fast which you know your mother's rights come over that but three days
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yeah so there's a lot of opportunities to do that brothers and do keep tuned in with inshallah uh the
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house and we've got other projects that we're going to be doing with salam inshallah uh yeah till next
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time assalamualaikum don't forget to share this with your friends and family inshallah so that they