Ali Dawah - October 04, 2023


SHE CALLS ME TO TAKE HER HIJAB OFF & THIS HAPPENED


Episode Stats

Length

37 minutes

Words per Minute

186.94127

Word Count

7,068

Sentence Count

651

Misogynist Sentences

23

Hate Speech Sentences

96


Summary

In this episode, I talk to a sister who shares her experience with the hijab and how she dealt with it. She shares her story and gives some tips on how to deal with it so that you can be more comfortable in wearing the hijab.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 When I decided to wear the hijab, I was really happy that I finally took that decision.
00:00:04.500 But after just two weeks of wearing it, I started to really hate it.
00:00:09.060 I started to hate how I look in it.
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00:00:28.440 So, assalamu alaikum, brothers and sisters and dear friends.
00:00:30.940 Hope you guys are well, inshallah.
00:00:31.880 So, I've got a sister here who's messaged me on Instagram.
00:00:36.560 I get a lot of these messages from sisters and brothers pertaining to certain stuff that they go through.
00:00:41.180 And her story really touched me, and I believe it's a growing problem.
00:00:45.840 Not many people realize.
00:00:47.220 So, I thought, you know what, I asked her if she'll be comfortable,
00:00:50.540 that we can talk about this, because I think this is something that affects a lot of sisters,
00:00:54.060 a lot of women, especially in the West and also in the Muslim world.
00:00:56.980 So, we're going to get straight into it, inshallah.
00:00:59.500 I'm not going to mention the sister's name, but assalamu alaikum, sister.
00:01:02.540 How are you doing?
00:01:04.100 Wa alaikum, assalamu alaikum, I'm doing well.
00:01:05.720 Thank you for having me as your guest today.
00:01:08.000 No problem.
00:01:08.540 May Allah bless you, inshallah, for having me on here.
00:01:11.440 So, in a nutshell, tell me a little bit about your story
00:01:15.160 and the problem that you're facing pertaining to, if I'm not mistaken, wearing a hijab?
00:01:20.720 Exactly.
00:01:21.080 Please, yes, tell me, inshallah, so we can see how we can help.
00:01:26.260 So, I was born a Muslim.
00:01:27.980 I am Arabic.
00:01:29.300 I do all of the five pillars of Islam, except that I have never went to Hajj.
00:01:34.300 Inshallah, I mean, I will.
00:01:35.900 Same, me too.
00:01:36.460 I'm a good person.
00:01:38.240 I just wore the hijab just recently, two months ago, because I fear Allah.
00:01:45.140 And that feeling started to happen since the pandemic.
00:01:48.580 I've realized that death would come any minute.
00:01:51.720 So, when I decided to wear the hijab, I was really happy that I finally took that decision.
00:01:57.540 But after just two weeks of wearing it, I started to really hate it.
00:02:03.000 I started to hate how I look in it.
00:02:05.600 And that led me to feel somehow depressed and not passionate about life.
00:02:11.540 And sometimes I cry because, like, I'm in a struggle.
00:02:14.560 I don't know what to do.
00:02:15.540 Like, I don't like the hijab, but at the same time, I need to wear it because Allah ordered me to wear it.
00:02:21.900 And sometimes I wake up with some anxiety.
00:02:24.760 Like, I would relate that to hijab because I've never felt like this before.
00:02:28.700 However, there were two times where I had a breakdown.
00:02:33.380 And that led my family to tell me, all right, you need to delay the hijab a bit until you feel better.
00:02:39.660 And once you feel better, you can wear it again.
00:02:42.220 But I felt like if I remove it, maybe I would never wear it again.
00:02:46.420 So, I kept wearing the hijab even though of all of the hardships I went through during the past two months.
00:02:53.120 I'm watching many videos about the purpose of it and why Allah ordered us to wear it.
00:02:59.000 But still, I keep thinking about removing it.
00:03:02.080 Like, during the day, I think about it like each hour, it's that much.
00:03:07.000 And the thing is, I'm okay about dressing in modesty.
00:03:10.800 Long sleeves, covered fully, baggy clothes, not wearing any makeup.
00:03:14.600 I'm okay about all of this.
00:03:16.220 But I'm not really okay about the headscarf.
00:03:18.340 It's just, for me, it's a big change that I'm not used to.
00:03:22.280 And I really have bad feelings about it.
00:03:25.840 Recently, I started to avoid going out because whenever I go, like, I would put the hijab.
00:03:32.120 And, yeah, yeah, it's just making me feel really, really bad.
00:03:38.320 Sometimes I feel like regretting about wearing it.
00:03:41.920 And I don't know why, even though it was not, no one forced me to do that.
00:03:47.120 It was my own decision.
00:03:48.880 But I do feel, I regret the time that I decided to wear the hijab because how I feel recently.
00:03:55.200 And I want to have an advice to accept hijab and to stop this thinking about it badly.
00:04:03.180 I want you to advise me, like, to give me some steps.
00:04:07.120 And I would follow these steps in order to just forget about it and love it somehow.
00:04:14.340 Yeah, that's shortly my story.
00:04:17.520 Okay, may Allah bless you, sister, inshallah.
00:04:19.160 May Allah preserve you.
00:04:21.380 Before I start, I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, the most merciful, the most trust, or praise His glory and gratitude belong to Him.
00:04:26.960 You know, sister, just hearing from your story, the reason why I wanted to do this, like, record it,
00:04:32.120 because there's so many women in your position.
00:04:35.160 You're not the only one.
00:04:35.880 Number one, first thing you need to acknowledge, you are not the only one feeling like this.
00:04:40.520 Not just Muslim men, there's also non-Muslim women, and even Muslim men.
00:04:45.800 For example, for me, when I first came to Islam, I said to myself, waking up for Fajr, I dislike it.
00:04:53.780 Yeah, at times I hated it.
00:04:55.460 Now, hating it, you need to understand because there's hating a hukum, what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said,
00:05:00.140 which can take you to the fold of Islam.
00:05:01.120 We're not talking about that kind of hate.
00:05:02.900 It's the struggle of it.
00:05:04.580 So when you're saying you hate it, I know what you mean, in the sense of that it is hard.
00:05:08.320 And look, you need to understand this is normal.
00:05:10.740 It is understandable.
00:05:12.220 It's about working with it.
00:05:13.760 You don't hate it in the sense of what Allah legislated.
00:05:16.700 So one thing you need to understand, sister, is that, as you know, that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created Jannah and Naar, hellfire.
00:05:24.020 And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, of course, is going to test us.
00:05:27.500 A lot of people forget that we are in this life as a test.
00:05:31.740 And it's going to be a test.
00:05:32.660 Sometimes we think to ourselves that if we do what Allah legislated us to do, it will be just easy.
00:05:38.660 Like, for example, praying.
00:05:39.740 It should just be easy.
00:05:40.500 Like, we should enjoy it.
00:05:41.160 We shouldn't have any problems with it.
00:05:42.400 That's not true.
00:05:43.660 When Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala legislates us to do certain things, there's going to be hardships.
00:05:48.000 Because Allah says in the Quran, don't say you're going to say, I believe and not be tested.
00:05:52.400 It's not going to work like that.
00:05:54.020 Even when it comes to pursuing halal.
00:05:56.500 When somebody says, you know what, I had girlfriends or boyfriends before and I want to leave this.
00:06:00.440 And now I want to do things the halal way.
00:06:02.260 They think that because you are pursuing halal, halal is going to be easy.
00:06:07.960 It's not.
00:06:08.660 Sadly, it's a test from Allah.
00:06:10.520 It becomes hard.
00:06:11.220 So to me, there's a few factors in place.
00:06:14.060 Because number one, like you said before, and modesty is not just a hijab on the head.
00:06:18.820 Like you said, wearing baggy clothes.
00:06:20.400 There are women who wear the hijab, they wear tight clothes.
00:06:22.880 There are women who have baggy clothes, don't wear the hijab.
00:06:26.580 And there are those who wear the hijab correctly, top and bottom.
00:06:29.500 And then there are those who wear the hijab, the top and bottom, but their tongue is foul.
00:06:34.300 So hijab is something that applies to men and women.
00:06:36.480 And the way we conduct ourselves, the way we speak, the hijab, the outer garment, etc.
00:06:40.160 But that's why Allah says in the Quran that we have sent clothing to cover yourselves, but the clothing of taqwa.
00:06:47.120 Allah talks about the clothing of taqwa, which is something that is, it's something deeper.
00:06:53.180 So to me, sister, firstly, I want to understand your family dynamics.
00:06:57.660 Does your mom wear hijab, or your sisters, or your family members?
00:07:03.380 Yes, my mother wears hijab, but not my older sisters.
00:07:07.840 Okay.
00:07:08.420 May I ask roughly, how old are you?
00:07:12.720 Roughly, are you in your 20s, 30s?
00:07:15.020 In 30s.
00:07:16.020 Okay.
00:07:16.480 So personally, I would say this, sister.
00:07:18.900 If you don't mind asking, have you always been practicing, like praying?
00:07:22.640 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:23.180 Since I was a kid.
00:07:24.820 Okay.
00:07:25.320 And you have never wore the hijab, right?
00:07:27.820 Yeah, I've never wore it.
00:07:29.100 Just while praying, of course.
00:07:30.940 But I have never wore the hijab outside the home.
00:07:34.260 Okay.
00:07:34.480 And actually, since I was a kid, I would say I didn't like it much.
00:07:41.640 But I didn't know that it's like, like I should wear it.
00:07:47.060 I didn't know it's a big thing.
00:07:49.040 Okay.
00:07:50.160 Okay.
00:07:50.740 So you know your friends that you have, do they wear hijab or they don't wear hijab?
00:07:55.740 My closest friend doesn't wear hijab.
00:07:58.740 Okay.
00:07:59.700 Okay.
00:08:00.240 So you need to understand, firstly, your surroundings are going to have an impact on you.
00:08:04.680 The people that you're around, and I'm not saying they are necessarily bad.
00:08:08.880 What I'm just saying is that they are going to have an impact on you.
00:08:11.220 So, for example, if I have a group of friends that have a certain specific way of lifestyle, they have a certain lifestyle, like it or not, they are going to affect me one way or another.
00:08:24.140 So that's number one.
00:08:25.300 Number one is very important for you to understand that you make sure you are around people who are, that you can relate with.
00:08:34.140 Secondly, the society that you live in, because you said to me that, for example, you would look at your old pictures and you would cry.
00:08:39.980 Yeah?
00:08:40.840 Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:08:42.240 When you say you would cry, what do you cry about?
00:08:45.220 So when you look at your old pictures, is it, oh my gosh, look how beautiful I look, or look how good I look in my hair.
00:08:50.740 What is it that makes you cry?
00:08:54.140 It's actually many reasons.
00:08:55.640 I would say, first, I would relate like I was happier.
00:08:59.640 So, like recently, I've avoided looking at my old pictures and I compare like myself wearing the hijab and my old pictures without the hijab.
00:09:09.780 I feel like, oh, without hijab is way better.
00:09:13.080 Okay, good.
00:09:13.980 So you see here, what's happening, sister, there's a book called, it's in English, it's called Beauty Sick.
00:09:20.240 I talk about this, it's, if you can buy it or even I can send you it as a gift, inshallah.
00:09:24.900 This talks about, this is written by a non-Muslim woman.
00:09:29.640 So she talks about the pandemic of sickness of beauty amongst women.
00:09:34.120 Now, a lot of times, sister, we think that, for example, that sometimes sisters come and say, I choose to wear the hijab.
00:09:41.400 Or I choose not to wear the hijab.
00:09:43.780 You've heard this before?
00:09:45.220 Yes.
00:09:45.780 Okay, so I don't believe this concept and I'll tell you why.
00:09:48.400 Of course, we have the will, like free will, that choice.
00:09:52.840 We believe in the qadr of Allah and we have free will to make decisions.
00:09:55.860 But our decisions are affected.
00:09:57.820 So believe me, sister, the fact that you are taking this choice, you need to understand you believe in shaitan, right?
00:10:04.620 Yeah.
00:10:05.060 Now, shaitan does not want you to do things that are pleasing to Allah.
00:10:09.260 And this can sometimes come in different ways.
00:10:11.460 So the fact that you are having these thoughts and feeling this way, to me, is glad tidings.
00:10:18.900 I will be shocked and surprised if you said to me, I wear the hijab and I don't feel anything.
00:10:24.620 It is very normal for you to feel like this.
00:10:26.920 Why?
00:10:27.480 Because the shaitan is on your case.
00:10:29.180 The shaitan will never rob a house that is empty.
00:10:33.020 He will look at the house.
00:10:33.840 There is nothing to steal.
00:10:35.620 So when he's looking at you, he's seeing that you pray your salah.
00:10:38.740 You're doing etc, etc, etc.
00:10:40.200 You're a good Muslim woman.
00:10:41.460 And now you're taking it to the next level by wearing the hijab.
00:10:44.640 So in his head, he's going to try to attack you.
00:10:49.920 And when you look at your old pictures, he's going to give you wasa-wasa.
00:10:53.120 Look how beautiful you was.
00:10:55.200 Look how nice you looked.
00:10:56.480 By the way, if you don't mind me asking, sister, are you married or not married?
00:10:59.040 Because there's a reason I'm asking.
00:11:00.580 No, I'm not married.
00:11:01.740 Okay.
00:11:02.720 Please be honest with me.
00:11:03.820 Do you think that this makes you feel as if your chances of getting married is lessened?
00:11:11.460 Does this ever come through your head?
00:11:16.600 Like, you know what?
00:11:17.280 You look more beautiful.
00:11:18.240 Your hair's showing.
00:11:19.360 Do you feel like wearing the hijab, I'm less likely to find somebody because I don't look as beautiful?
00:11:27.500 Maybe, but I always thought that because I see myself like without hijab, and I used to be without hijab, I see myself like I could prove somehow myself better, like in workplace or talking to people in general, even to friends.
00:11:45.700 Like, whether it's a potential husband or not, I feel like all of the people around me, I would be better without hijab.
00:11:52.980 I don't know.
00:11:53.560 It's just a feeling.
00:11:54.800 Okay.
00:11:55.140 The people that you're around from your workplace to your colleagues, friends, et cetera, they don't wear hijab?
00:12:00.060 Some of them, they do.
00:12:04.760 The others, they don't.
00:12:06.380 Okay.
00:12:06.680 The ones that do, what do you think of them?
00:12:08.800 Because they're coming to the workplace and they're wearing hijab.
00:12:10.880 What's your, how do you see them?
00:12:12.580 Like, do you not see them as like a form of support or how do you see them?
00:12:15.180 Yeah, I used to actually envy, envy those ladies who wears the hijab because like they are doing what Allah ordered us.
00:12:25.680 But I never thought that I would have hardships wearing it.
00:12:30.220 Like, I would say, oh, it's really great that she is wearing hijab.
00:12:34.660 Inshallah, I will wear it soon.
00:12:36.560 But I never thought when I wear it, I will have all of these hardships.
00:12:40.740 Okay.
00:12:41.260 So, good.
00:12:42.620 So, first thing we need to understand is this, sister, yeah?
00:12:44.360 Do you accept that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has created the heavens and the earth, the whole universe?
00:12:50.680 Yes.
00:12:51.280 Okay.
00:12:52.060 Would you agree that it is not impossible for Allah to help and aid you to carry on wearing the hijab?
00:13:00.060 Again, please.
00:13:01.080 Sorry.
00:13:01.580 So, do you accept that for Allah, it is not impossible to help you in keeping the hijab on?
00:13:09.920 Yeah, it's not impossible.
00:13:11.400 Good, good.
00:13:12.160 Okay.
00:13:12.720 Now, what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does sometimes is he wants to see the effort of the servant.
00:13:18.700 It is not impossible for Allah to make you keep the hijab on forcefully.
00:13:23.380 It's not impossible.
00:13:24.260 Allah can make you do that.
00:13:25.580 But Allah, what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does is he likes to see how much effort you are going to put in.
00:13:32.620 So, the test is what, sister?
00:13:34.800 How you're feeling with the anxiety.
00:13:36.720 How you're feeling of not feeling maybe beautiful enough, etc.
00:13:40.080 How you feel maybe shaitan comes and says how you look in front of your colleagues or a potential husband, etc.
00:13:45.220 These are shaitan coming and telling you as if these things are in your hands.
00:13:51.060 For example, he makes you feel as if to find the husband, you have to look a certain way.
00:13:57.920 So, we say what?
00:13:59.800 That even if you was wearing a niqab, your face is closed, yeah?
00:14:04.100 And even if you didn't come outside of your house, we say Allah will send you a husband to your door.
00:14:13.500 So, who is in control of finding you a husband or who is in control of these other factors?
00:14:20.320 You or Allah?
00:14:23.700 Yeah, of course Allah.
00:14:25.480 Good.
00:14:26.020 So, what happens sometimes is, sister, shaitan comes to us and makes us think we are in control.
00:14:31.840 So, that's the reason why a lot of Muslim women and non-Muslim women, the reason they dress up in a certain way,
00:14:39.260 where some of them wear tight clothes or mini skirts or they beautify themselves,
00:14:43.400 they get their lips done, they get their ears done, they get their nose done,
00:14:45.980 they get their eyes down, their eyebrows done, their hair done, everything done.
00:14:49.380 Why?
00:14:50.080 Because they think to find a husband or to find someone or for men to approach me in a halal way
00:14:57.440 or for non-Muslim women in a harang way,
00:14:58.980 they think I have to do all of this so I can find a person.
00:15:05.520 In Islam, we say no.
00:15:07.300 We say, of course, it's good to look after yourself, brush your teeth, groom your hair,
00:15:11.540 there's nothing wrong with that.
00:15:12.580 But to think that by doing these things that I would have a more likely chance of finding somebody,
00:15:21.020 this is not from our religion.
00:15:22.220 We say that if somebody observes taqwa, if somebody is holding to the legislation of Allah,
00:15:29.600 if somebody fights, for example, you are now in a form of jihad,
00:15:32.760 because you are fighting your inner desires to not take the hijab off.
00:15:37.540 Your family, obviously, because they care about you, they've said, you know, maybe to you, you know, get used to a bit.
00:15:41.880 But what you're doing is you are in a state of jihad against shaitan right now, an outright jihad.
00:15:48.000 And you, I believe, are winning this war because you could have taken it off.
00:15:52.000 You could have said, you know what, this is getting too much.
00:15:53.980 All I will say to you, sister, is the following.
00:15:56.040 This is not going to last forever.
00:15:58.340 I want you to do something.
00:15:59.540 Number one, do you do your...
00:16:00.540 Because the thing is, I really, like, I have this thought that will that be lasting, like, one year or two years?
00:16:10.920 Because it's really hard, you know?
00:16:12.380 I'm scared that it will be developed more, like, that feeling, bad feelings about hijab.
00:16:17.100 I'm scared it will develop more and I will have more bad feelings about it after one year or two years.
00:16:21.980 So I'm really scared about that.
00:16:23.600 The thing is, I don't mind going out without makeup, wearing baggy clothes.
00:16:27.340 It's just, the headscarf, I don't feel like myself anymore.
00:16:31.100 Okay, so, okay, the reason why you don't feel like yourself is because you're getting closer to Allah.
00:16:36.020 In the sense, you need to understand, you are now, your level, you need to understand, sister,
00:16:41.100 there's different people in different darajah, in the sight of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
00:16:44.680 You are now turning your back to the dunyawi stuff and to the materialistic stuff
00:16:50.180 and you are now taking it a step further.
00:16:52.600 So therefore, you are now more of an enemy to shaitan.
00:16:55.300 Because before, you know, you will say, not I'm saying those who don't wear it are bad,
00:17:00.020 but at the end of the day, Allah has commanded the Muslim woman to wear the hijab.
00:17:03.340 So I will say, number one, do you do your adhkar?
00:17:08.080 To be honest, not regularly.
00:17:10.280 Okay.
00:17:10.620 Sometimes I remember, sometimes I forget.
00:17:13.000 Okay, adhkar is very important, sister, because it protects you from waswasa.
00:17:16.980 Right now, I think the main thing here is waswasa.
00:17:20.200 And you are looking at old pictures and shaitan is giving you waswasa of, you know,
00:17:24.720 the opportunities you're going to miss, this, that, etc.
00:17:27.600 You need to understand though that on the Yawm al-Qiyamah, that when you do wear the hijab,
00:17:31.640 that at the end of the day, it's going to be one less thing that you'll be questioned about.
00:17:35.700 And the thing is, you are putting the effort in like we all are in different ways.
00:17:39.420 For me, it was waking up for fajr.
00:17:41.980 Waking up for, missing fajr is a bigger sin than you not wearing the hijab.
00:17:45.560 Bigger sin.
00:17:46.360 But the point is what, sister?
00:17:48.100 I realized when you put the effort in, like for example, you look at Maryam alayhi salam,
00:17:53.800 yeah, like a male of mercy on her, yeah, that she, when she was given birth, she needed food.
00:18:01.460 And Allah tells us in the Quran that she had to shake the palm tree.
00:18:04.940 You know this, yeah?
00:18:06.080 Yeah.
00:18:06.320 Okay, why does, why does she need to shake the palm tree?
00:18:10.080 Why can't Allah just give her food?
00:18:12.400 And she's a woman, imagine you're given birth.
00:18:14.140 Do you know how strong a palm tree is?
00:18:16.060 It's very, I don't think a woman or even a man for that matter, can shake a palm tree.
00:18:21.440 But the point Allah is showing to us here is what?
00:18:24.620 You, if you fear Allah, Allah says in the Quran in Surah Talaq,
00:18:27.960 if you fear me, I will give you a way out from places you can never imagine.
00:18:34.640 So, we put the effort in.
00:18:37.460 Maryam alayhi salam, what she do?
00:18:38.840 She shook the tree.
00:18:40.400 It's not that she could shake it, but she put the effort in.
00:18:44.260 Allah saw the effort and Allah gave her the food to eat.
00:18:48.320 You look at Musa alayhi salam.
00:18:50.180 Musa alayhi salam didn't have to hit the sea with his stick, his staff, yeah?
00:18:54.400 He didn't have to hit it, but he has to do the action.
00:18:57.540 What does that show us?
00:18:58.400 You do the action and you put your trust in Allah.
00:19:02.480 Now, you are in a state of fearing Allah because you want to please Allah because,
00:19:06.520 like you said, you might die tomorrow, etc.
00:19:08.720 So, now, the battle is going to be decisive.
00:19:12.340 Now, what I would say is this.
00:19:13.920 It is impossible that Allah will burden you more than you can bear.
00:19:17.640 Impossible.
00:19:18.940 Allah has said clearly, we will never burden a soul more than it can bear.
00:19:22.600 There are factors that you have you need to take out.
00:19:25.540 Number one, friends that make you feel that you're wearing the hijab, for example,
00:19:31.620 or you've even been around them, seeing them with their hair out, it's a fitna for you.
00:19:36.220 You've seen them showing their hair and you can't.
00:19:39.020 I would say it might be hard, but my sister, you come first.
00:19:42.960 Allah says in the Quran, save yourself and your families.
00:19:45.700 So, if it means that this friend, if this friend is supportive, that's fine.
00:19:49.980 I'm not asking you to cut ties.
00:19:52.600 Number one.
00:19:53.300 Number two, you need to understand that the society has a role in your decision-making factors.
00:20:00.160 Do you really believe, sister, that the Western women and even some Muslim women for this matter,
00:20:05.260 do you think they want to go and put injection in their lips in pain and make their lips bigger?
00:20:10.920 Do you think they want to do this or they have no choice but to do this?
00:20:15.820 Maybe they have no choice.
00:20:17.920 Good.
00:20:18.240 There are women who go and get implants in different parts of their body.
00:20:24.500 They get their eyelids done.
00:20:26.660 They get their facelift.
00:20:28.280 They get their teeth done.
00:20:29.540 Some of them get their nose done.
00:20:30.740 They break their nose.
00:20:32.040 My dear sister, why would anybody in their right mind go to these levels of causing pain to their self?
00:20:38.960 Why just to look good?
00:20:42.340 Society has pressurized them and made them feel ugly.
00:20:46.780 That's the reason why sisters feel upset and they cry.
00:20:50.340 Why?
00:20:50.740 And some sisters even take the hijab off.
00:20:52.740 Why?
00:20:53.180 And they say, I choose to.
00:20:54.740 No, you don't.
00:20:55.800 No woman chooses to disobey Allah.
00:20:58.220 Why do you do it?
00:20:59.240 Why do women do it?
00:21:00.220 Because they feel, I look less beautiful or I won't get the opportunities.
00:21:04.780 So the point is what?
00:21:06.280 If you look at it, Allah says in the Quran, have you seen the one who has multiple masters?
00:21:10.940 One, two, three.
00:21:12.000 And the one who has one master.
00:21:13.680 They can't be the same.
00:21:15.280 So when I talk about multiple masters, the beauty industry, the opposite gender, your friends, peer pressure, family.
00:21:21.820 These are things that you, it's in the back of your mind, which is making you feel ugly.
00:21:29.020 I don't look good.
00:21:30.200 There is something wrong with me.
00:21:31.600 It's the society.
00:21:33.040 But deep down, you want to please Allah.
00:21:35.800 Deep down, you want to.
00:21:37.080 So this is where the battle is happening.
00:21:39.280 It's not that you want to disobey Allah.
00:21:41.480 But the reason why you're going through this is because of this.
00:21:44.660 If you lived amongst every woman, if every woman was wearing the hijab, every woman,
00:21:49.500 would you feel like taking the hijab off?
00:21:51.820 No, not really.
00:21:54.820 Good.
00:21:55.400 You know why?
00:21:56.240 Because that will be the norm.
00:21:58.080 Because it's become the abnorm today when you go out.
00:22:01.980 And not only that, these women, they wear their hair, hair discolor, eyebrows, everything is done.
00:22:07.660 So in your head, you're thinking, and I know for women, women like it's in their fitrah,
00:22:12.760 in the sense where they like to be seen.
00:22:15.000 And for us men, we like to look.
00:22:16.740 That's our weaknesses.
00:22:18.300 So that's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is testing the woman.
00:22:21.960 Why?
00:22:22.240 Because her beauty, Allah is testing them by telling them to cover up.
00:22:26.280 And for us men, Allah tests us because Allah knows we're visual creatures.
00:22:29.520 Men like to look.
00:22:30.640 And Allah tests us by lowering our gaze, telling us to lower our gaze.
00:22:33.180 So I would say, this will not carry on forever.
00:22:36.820 It will not.
00:22:37.720 I've been through tests, sister.
00:22:39.000 Believe me, the tests have gone very, very, like, to the point of breaking.
00:22:44.460 But wallahi, I'll tell you one thing, sister.
00:22:46.580 One thing that I will tell you is that never, ever will Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala let you down.
00:22:52.720 Never.
00:22:52.940 Like, never, ever think that.
00:22:56.020 Alhamdulillah.
00:22:57.180 So, like, azkar would make me feel, like, better.
00:23:02.580 Like, what should I do to make me feel better, like, wearing the hijab?
00:23:08.680 So, I will say this, sister.
00:23:11.160 Number one.
00:23:11.800 Number one.
00:23:12.140 The first thing I will say is this.
00:23:13.420 Do you pray a five-times prayer?
00:23:15.260 Yes.
00:23:15.940 Okay, good.
00:23:16.460 Alhamdulillah.
00:23:17.140 So, one thing that I will say is, your azkar is very important.
00:23:20.880 Very, very important.
00:23:22.920 Yeah.
00:23:23.560 Make sure that you do your azkar.
00:23:25.360 I treat my azkar like salah.
00:23:28.680 I treat my azkar like a salah.
00:23:31.920 So, you do not miss it.
00:23:33.200 You know why?
00:23:33.820 Because your azkar protects you against evil eye, magic, waswasa.
00:23:37.560 All these kind of stuff.
00:23:39.220 So, this is what you're having.
00:23:40.660 And there was a man that came to the Prophet ï·º.
00:23:44.080 And he said, oh, messenger of Allah.
00:23:46.040 I think about things about Allah that I would rather drop from the sky and be eaten by birds.
00:23:53.040 Like this.
00:23:53.620 I get evil thoughts.
00:23:55.400 Like, you know you say you have bad thoughts about hijab.
00:23:57.540 Yeah?
00:23:58.120 This man, this companion Hussein, he has evil thoughts about Allah and his messenger.
00:24:04.420 He says, I hate these thoughts so much.
00:24:06.680 I rather fall from the sky and birds eat me.
00:24:10.180 Do you know what the Prophet ï·º said to him?
00:24:13.040 The Prophet ï·º said, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
00:24:16.780 He said, for the plot of shaitan has dropped to nothing but waswasa.
00:24:21.920 Meaning, the shaitan is trying to stop you from praying.
00:24:24.720 You're not stopping praying.
00:24:26.180 Making you commit shirk.
00:24:27.120 You're not doing that shirk.
00:24:28.100 Trying to get you to do major sins.
00:24:29.440 You're not doing major sins.
00:24:30.240 And now he's looking and saying, this woman, not only that, now she's wearing the hijab.
00:24:36.360 The only power he has against you is what?
00:24:40.240 Waswasa.
00:24:41.200 You look like this.
00:24:42.360 Look how beautiful he looked in the old pictures.
00:24:44.140 You're not, nobody's going to want you.
00:24:45.560 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:24:47.060 Yes.
00:24:47.940 This is the key.
00:24:48.800 So, sister, it's not going to carry on forever.
00:24:52.360 But you need to say to yourself that this hijab I'm wearing is a form of jihad and I am doing it for the sake of Allah.
00:25:00.500 And I am not going to take it off whatever happens.
00:25:05.900 When you internalize this, like Ibrahim a.s.
00:25:09.320 When Ibrahim a.s., do you remember he had to do a sacrifice?
00:25:13.440 Yes.
00:25:14.160 Okay.
00:25:15.480 No.
00:25:15.920 The first sacrifice he had to do was what?
00:25:19.720 Not, yes, Allah, yes, there was a commandment that he's going to sacrifice his son.
00:25:23.760 But before that, for example, when you decided to wear the hijab, the first sacrifice was not wearing the hijab, but rather the first sacrifice was what?
00:25:35.040 That I submit my will and I'm going to wear the hijab.
00:25:38.420 So you had to do a sacrifice internally.
00:25:40.940 Internally you said, I am going to do this.
00:25:43.420 That was the first sacrifice.
00:25:44.940 That was the first step.
00:25:46.360 Then the second sacrifice was actually putting the hijab on.
00:25:49.720 If you don't internally do the sacrifice, you can't externally do the sacrifice.
00:25:55.500 So for you, you internally said, I am going to do this for the sake of Allah.
00:25:59.840 Then you took action like Ibrahim a.s. took action by trying to slaughter his son, yes?
00:26:05.640 Yes.
00:26:06.060 Do you know what kind of fitna that is to slaughter your son?
00:26:11.060 Yeah?
00:26:11.880 Yes.
00:26:12.160 It's big.
00:26:13.040 Okay.
00:26:13.900 What did Allah do when he was about to do it?
00:26:16.840 I'm going to explain.
00:26:21.280 It was a sheep.
00:26:23.300 Exactly.
00:26:24.480 Exactly.
00:26:25.020 Aram, yes.
00:26:26.160 So now I'm asking you a question.
00:26:28.480 What do you think Allah is going to do when Ibrahim a.s. was ordered to do something?
00:26:32.680 And even though it was the hardest thing to do, he went to do it.
00:26:39.260 What did Allah do?
00:26:40.360 Allah replaced it with something, which was an animal.
00:26:44.140 Yes?
00:26:44.880 Yes.
00:26:45.040 What do you think Allah is going to do when you are sacrificing this and you are adamant
00:26:50.260 saying, I am not going to take this hijab off.
00:26:54.220 I don't care if the entire globe comes against me.
00:26:58.600 I am going to stand in front of Allah on your Qiyamah and say, this hijab, O Allah, I put
00:27:05.100 it and kept it on for no one but your sake alone.
00:27:09.440 And when you do that, sister, and when you internalize it and you have your good days and
00:27:14.480 you have your bad days, but ask aid from Allah.
00:27:18.160 Anytime you get evil thought, ask Allah, Allah will never let you down, sister.
00:27:25.040 And believe me, believe me, trust me, my dear sister, it doesn't matter how you look.
00:27:34.740 Allah will aid you in your work, to your marriage, to everything.
00:27:39.700 Believe me, once you put Allah first and you sacrifice the dunya for him, Allah, believe
00:27:47.760 me, I'm telling you as a witness, a live example, I've been a Muslim for 10 years.
00:27:53.040 Allah has taken me and put me in places.
00:27:56.260 And while Allah has given me things, I cannot even, I cannot begin to tell you.
00:28:01.080 And I did sacrifices.
00:28:02.720 My family kicked me, my father kicked me out of the house.
00:28:04.880 I got slapped, you know, my community called me all kinds of stuff.
00:28:12.080 But wallahi, when you stick true to Allah, Allah will give you a way out.
00:28:16.940 And wallahi, the very family members, some of them come to Islam from my side, yeah.
00:28:22.480 And believe me, and I look back and say, I could have easily come and say, you know what,
00:28:26.700 I'm going to leave this religion.
00:28:27.600 It's too much problem for me.
00:28:28.820 My dad's causing problem here.
00:28:30.120 My mom is causing problem there.
00:28:31.220 You know, my mom was always supportive, but the family, this, that, the community, the West, da, da, da, da.
00:28:37.180 No, I am going to stick.
00:28:40.000 And when you do that, sister, Allah makes you taste the sweetness of Iman.
00:28:44.500 Believe me.
00:28:45.880 So I would say, it's what you're going through is normal.
00:28:50.040 It's a test.
00:28:51.400 Allah wants to see how much you genuinely want to do this.
00:28:55.800 And the moment, the moment you feel weak, ask Allah to aid you.
00:29:00.680 I'm telling you, Allah is going to make this easy for you.
00:29:03.760 Inshallah.
00:29:04.840 Inshallah.
00:29:05.420 So do not cry, Inshallah.
00:29:07.240 And even if you cry, you cry to your Lord.
00:29:09.140 Anytime you feel like something in your heart, whatever, cry to Allah.
00:29:13.640 Have no shame.
00:29:15.460 Cry to your Lord and say, Oh Allah, aid me and help me against the plot of shaitan.
00:29:19.620 Indeed, shaitan is an enemy.
00:29:21.320 Allah says in the Quran, and take him as an enemy, sister.
00:29:24.620 Because on your maqiyamah, he will come and he will say, I did not do nothing but call you.
00:29:30.320 I didn't force you.
00:29:31.500 So, therefore, sister, imagine, you're going to wear this hijab for what?
00:29:35.960 Another 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years.
00:29:39.420 God knows what life you have.
00:29:41.320 For an eternity.
00:29:42.420 The fact that you're going to stand in front of Allah.
00:29:44.520 And that you made this sacrifice.
00:29:46.380 This hijab, the hijab that you wear, might be the reason why Allah says, Enter Jannah.
00:29:52.400 Just, just, just, salah.
00:29:53.820 Okay, that's good.
00:29:54.640 But because of this sacrifice, this hijab might be the reason you enter Jannah.
00:30:00.140 So I would say, you know, be firm, Inshallah.
00:30:02.980 I will get you in contact with some sisters that you can talk.
00:30:07.020 But just know, it's normal.
00:30:10.140 Ask Allah's aid.
00:30:11.380 And wallahi, I promise you that Inshallah, Inshallah, Allah will give you a way out.
00:30:16.520 Just be firm.
00:30:18.300 Inshallah, Ya Rabbi.
00:30:19.480 So, like, during this period, is it okay if I had a feeling like some sort of regret?
00:30:29.000 Is that okay?
00:30:30.100 Because, yeah, yeah, look, sister, look, look, these things, understand.
00:30:33.200 I know shaitan makes you like, look at you, you regret it, you hate, all wasa wasa, sister.
00:30:38.320 I don't care what, any kind of thought comes to your head.
00:30:40.460 I hate the hijab.
00:30:41.420 I look like this.
00:30:42.280 I regret it.
00:30:43.080 No problem.
00:30:43.820 You said that.
00:30:44.560 Believe me, you know these thoughts, they are not you.
00:30:49.220 You know these thoughts, I hate, I regret, I should or not, why did I do it?
00:30:52.580 This is not from you.
00:30:53.480 This is from shaitan.
00:30:54.640 Just know that when these thoughts come, you need to acknowledge this is not coming from you.
00:31:01.140 This is coming from shaitan.
00:31:02.720 Because do you love Allah and His Messenger?
00:31:05.280 Yeah, of course.
00:31:06.060 Good.
00:31:06.240 So, someone who loves Allah's Messenger will never come and say, I regret, I hate.
00:31:10.720 No, no, no.
00:31:11.360 This is the wasa wasa from shaitan.
00:31:13.940 So, don't think this is from you and hate yourself.
00:31:16.960 Rather, you hate shaitan.
00:31:18.960 This is from shaitan.
00:31:20.460 And what about the days that I wasn't wearing a hijab?
00:31:23.540 First, will be forgiven?
00:31:25.220 Yes.
00:31:25.940 Come on, sister.
00:31:26.740 Not only forgiven, the Prophet ï·º told us, they will be turned into good deeds.
00:31:30.840 If you sincerely repented all of the time that you didn't wear the hijab, we say that your bad deeds are turned into good deeds.
00:31:38.700 Because you've sincerely repented.
00:31:40.300 And you've changed and you're wearing the hijab now.
00:31:42.280 And wallahi, let me tell you, sister, wallahi, believe me, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will turn them all into good deeds.
00:31:47.800 So, ignore the shaitan and, you know, oh, but your pictures are still there.
00:31:51.800 But some people see it.
00:31:53.160 So, maybe shaitan comes to you and says that.
00:31:55.160 You know, some people still got pictures.
00:31:56.920 You know, what's the point wearing it?
00:31:58.520 Maybe he says stuff like this.
00:32:00.840 Even if I love those days, like when I remember...
00:32:04.040 Yes.
00:32:04.680 Sister, let me tell you something.
00:32:05.980 Let me tell you something.
00:32:06.640 I come from a jahiliya before Islam, yeah?
00:32:09.380 Sometimes, I look back and I was like, oh, it was so fun.
00:32:12.800 It was so fun.
00:32:14.140 Look, this is me.
00:32:14.960 I'm Ali Dawi, yeah?
00:32:15.960 I'm a nobody.
00:32:16.660 But, you know, these things come from shaitan.
00:32:19.800 You say,
00:32:20.140 I would have been lying in a shaitan al-rajim.
00:32:22.220 Bye-bye.
00:32:23.100 What I have now, alhamdulillah.
00:32:24.980 So, these things are going to come to you.
00:32:26.700 It's normal.
00:32:27.820 It's not abnormal, you know?
00:32:29.600 So, don't think these things are abnormal.
00:32:32.260 These things are normal.
00:32:33.800 Slowly, slowly, they're going to disappear.
00:32:35.940 Because you're a new person now.
00:32:37.720 You're changing.
00:32:38.900 So, slowly, slowly, you're going to realize
00:32:40.780 they are going to leave you one by one.
00:32:43.560 And you're going to forget these days.
00:32:44.640 Believe me.
00:32:45.200 Once this test is over,
00:32:46.960 you're not even going to remember.
00:32:49.100 You're going to say,
00:32:50.240 I was thinking like this?
00:32:52.360 Why was I thinking like this?
00:32:53.940 This is what you're going to say.
00:32:54.800 Inshallah.
00:32:55.520 Inshallah.
00:32:55.960 Inshallah.
00:32:57.140 Do you have any other questions?
00:32:59.460 I think that's all.
00:33:01.760 Thank you so much for strengthening my iman.
00:33:04.760 No, sister.
00:33:05.740 May Allah bless you, Inshallah.
00:33:06.440 We're here, you know, at your service.
00:33:07.620 You are our sister.
00:33:08.140 We are proud of you.
00:33:09.380 You know, you guys are,
00:33:10.500 you are the backbone of this ummah.
00:33:12.320 You know, when you wear the hijab,
00:33:13.560 you are symbolizing that you are a Muslim woman.
00:33:17.040 And alhamdulillah, you know,
00:33:18.060 we as men, you know, subhanAllah,
00:33:20.700 I don't think I could do what you guys are doing.
00:33:23.200 So just know, as your brother,
00:33:24.240 we are proud of you.
00:33:25.620 Be strong.
00:33:26.340 You are symbolizing.
00:33:27.500 Look, me, I don't,
00:33:28.400 looking like,
00:33:29.080 and there's non-Muslim that have beard.
00:33:30.940 And this is not a symbol exactly to Islam,
00:33:32.820 there's non-Muslim men who have bigger beard than me.
00:33:35.060 So the point is that you wearing the hijab
00:33:36.920 shows clearly you are a Muslim woman.
00:33:39.400 So may Allah preserve you.
00:33:40.660 And don't forget,
00:33:41.540 you are carrying the ayah of the Quran on your head.
00:33:45.120 You are carrying the ayah of the Quran on your head.
00:33:48.720 Every time you go out, you say that.
00:33:50.680 And you're going to have good days
00:33:51.860 and you're going to have bad days.
00:33:53.340 Yeah?
00:33:53.760 This is normal.
00:33:54.480 Good days, bad days.
00:33:55.620 Just firm it.
00:33:56.680 But believe me,
00:33:57.560 Allah's help is going to come.
00:33:59.560 Allah's promised that.
00:34:00.760 Be firm, inshallah.
00:34:01.820 And I'm going to connect you with some sisters
00:34:03.120 and they will help you further, inshallah.
00:34:06.380 Thank you so much.
00:34:07.460 Thank you.
00:34:08.320 No, it's a pleasure, sister.
00:34:09.660 May Allah bless you and preserve you.
00:34:11.600 And wallahi, and I make dua for you.
00:34:13.860 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala protect you
00:34:15.260 against the evil plots of shaitan and its waswasa.
00:34:17.160 You know, may Allah grant you a righteous husband.
00:34:20.380 Alhamdulillah, may Allah give you ease in your work,
00:34:22.740 in your family affairs, inshallah.
00:34:24.220 And inshallah, you are going to be a means
00:34:27.380 that other family members start wearing the hijab
00:34:30.420 and you are going to get the sadaqah jariyah
00:34:32.640 because you encourage them.
00:34:35.140 It's because of you.
00:34:36.020 Inshallah, you don't know.
00:34:37.440 Maybe you're the reason why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:34:39.980 is going to allow your family members
00:34:42.420 or your sisters who don't wear the hijab
00:34:44.320 by looking at you and admiring you
00:34:46.440 and saying, you know what?
00:34:47.540 We want to wear the hijab like our sister.
00:34:49.540 Inshallah, that happens.
00:34:50.680 Inshallah.
00:34:51.380 Inshallah, it will happen.
00:34:53.260 Don't ever doubt that.
00:34:54.920 Yes.
00:34:56.960 Thank you so much.
00:34:58.080 No, may Allah bless you, inshallah.
00:34:59.340 I'm going to get you in contact with some sisters
00:35:00.640 and they will help you further.
00:35:02.120 If you have anything you need,
00:35:03.480 please message me on Instagram
00:35:04.700 and I will love to help, inshallah.
00:35:07.160 Yeah, sure.
00:35:07.900 Thank you.
00:35:08.400 May Allah bless you.
00:35:09.320 May Allah bless you.
00:35:10.140 And your jihad is going to be successful, inshallah.
00:35:12.340 Don't ever forget that.
00:35:13.780 Alhamdulillah, inshallah.
00:35:14.760 Thank you.
00:35:15.320 Inshallah.
00:35:15.680 Inshallah.
00:35:16.200 May Allah bless you.
00:35:16.820 Assalamu alaikum.
00:35:17.960 Alaikum wa salam.
00:35:19.000 Bye-bye.
00:35:19.300 Inshallah.
00:35:19.580 I will send you this video, inshallah, after this.
00:35:22.800 Have a look.
00:35:23.720 But yes, wallahi, the reason I've done this, sister,
00:35:25.600 is there's so many women in your position.
00:35:28.200 So many.
00:35:28.840 And wallahi, I believe, inshallah,
00:35:31.280 with your permission, inshallah, if you allow us,
00:35:32.700 this will be an encouragement for them
00:35:34.300 to understand that this is normal.
00:35:36.500 Going through this, it's normal.
00:35:38.140 I've been through it, not with the hijab,
00:35:40.040 but other stuff.
00:35:41.000 You know, waking up for fajr,
00:35:42.000 I've been through it myself.
00:35:43.000 So it's normal.
00:35:44.320 And Allah says, we will test you with also fear.
00:35:47.120 He says, death, loss of life, loss of wealth,
00:35:49.340 and also fear.
00:35:50.720 This anxiety that you're getting is a test from Allah.
00:35:53.500 And then once you pass it,
00:35:55.520 you're going to act like it never happened.
00:35:59.020 By the way, what if I couldn't find friends
00:36:01.420 wearing a hijab?
00:36:03.680 I would say, I'm sure Jordan,
00:36:05.740 there must be some friends.
00:36:07.020 Ask Allah.
00:36:07.580 I would say, ask Allah.
00:36:09.060 Like, look, I'm not saying leave your friends.
00:36:10.460 If they are bad influence, leave them.
00:36:12.320 If they are telling you,
00:36:14.580 oh, you look so beautiful.
00:36:15.880 Do they say to you,
00:36:16.660 oh, you look much better without hijab?
00:36:18.200 Do they say this?
00:36:19.620 No, not really.
00:36:20.600 She is supportive.
00:36:22.340 Are you sure?
00:36:22.980 She doesn't say stuff like,
00:36:23.960 oh, you look better in no hijab.
00:36:26.320 No, no, she doesn't.
00:36:27.660 Okay, if this is kind of friend, good.
00:36:29.860 But I would say also get sisters
00:36:31.720 that you are sharing it with.
00:36:33.480 It's very important
00:36:34.220 that you have female friends
00:36:36.440 that wear the hijab
00:36:37.640 because at least you have something,
00:36:39.640 you know,
00:36:39.940 you're not alone.
00:36:41.800 You know, very important.
00:36:42.960 Look, you know what I can do?
00:36:43.760 I would try to find out
00:36:44.820 that in that,
00:36:46.920 the country that you're in,
00:36:48.020 if there's any sisters
00:36:48.980 and get in contact with them.
00:36:51.040 Oh, that would be great.
00:36:51.960 Thank you.
00:36:52.400 Yes, please.
00:36:53.180 Make sure you do that.
00:36:54.060 Friends, like the Prophet ï·º said,
00:36:56.540 a good friend is like somebody
00:36:58.120 who sells musk.
00:36:59.600 Even if you stand next to them
00:37:01.780 and do nothing,
00:37:03.140 you are going to leave smelling good.
00:37:05.240 And a bad friend is like a blacksmith.
00:37:08.180 Even if you stand next to him,
00:37:09.960 you're going to be in smoke and dirt.
00:37:12.300 So a good friend is very,
00:37:14.100 very vital, sister.
00:37:15.440 So make sure you find those women
00:37:17.240 who wear the hijab
00:37:18.140 that can help you
00:37:19.320 so you feel a part of it,
00:37:21.760 inshallah.
00:37:23.000 Insha'Allah.
00:37:24.120 And when you will be in Jordan,
00:37:25.600 you will give some lectures?
00:37:28.120 I'm not coming,
00:37:29.100 but if I do come,
00:37:30.040 I might do.
00:37:30.640 I will let you know, inshallah.
00:37:32.380 Insha'Allah.
00:37:33.400 No problem.
00:37:34.020 May Allah bless you, inshallah.
00:37:34.800 Take care.
00:37:35.880 Thank you.
00:37:36.340 Thank you so much.
00:37:37.140 No problem.
00:37:37.640 Take care.
00:37:38.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
00:37:39.420 Wa alaykum as-salam.
00:37:40.700 Bye.
00:37:40.840 Bye.
00:37:42.000 Bye.
00:37:43.100 Bye.
00:37:43.940 Bye.
00:37:44.300 Bye.
00:37:45.320 Bye.
00:37:45.460 Bye.
00:37:45.760 Bye.
00:37:46.680 Bye.
00:37:46.760 Bye.
00:37:48.140 Bye.