Ali Dawah - December 15, 2025


SHE DIDN’T EXPECT THIS RESPONSE - HEART TOUCHING CONVO


Episode Stats


Length

23 minutes

Words per minute

220.70512

Word count

5,248

Sentence count

459

Harmful content

Misogyny

20

sentences flagged

Toxicity

33

sentences flagged

Hate speech

44

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, I speak to a Muslim woman who shares her story of how she became a Muslim and how she made the transition from being a non-believer to a believer in Islam. She shares her experience of growing up in a Muslim household and her journey to becoming a Muslim.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.480 Like, what is your stance on, like, gay Muslims? 0.95
00:00:03.280 Is what you're doing a sin? Yes. 0.97
00:00:04.960 I will never take that away and say to you,
00:00:06.160 no, I'm not going to shukuk on my religion.
00:00:07.260 However, a person who bows down to an idol
00:00:10.320 is a million times worse than what you're doing.
00:00:15.360 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
00:00:16.800 dear brothers and sisters,
00:00:18.260 as we watch what is unfolding today in Gaza,
00:00:20.960 we have to understand that opposition is counting on us
00:00:24.700 to lose attention, to become fatigued,
00:00:26.700 and to move on with the news cycle.
00:00:28.300 And just as we can't allow them to dictate our attention,
00:00:31.840 we also can't allow them to dictate the pace of our solidarity.
00:00:34.960 And part of that solidarity is going to be there
00:00:37.060 to rebuild Gaza short-term, long-term.
00:00:40.500 I am proud to give my support, my word of support,
00:00:43.920 to trusted brothers and sisters in the United Kingdom
00:00:46.360 that have started a waqf, that have started an endowment
00:00:48.920 to make sure, inshallah ta'ala, that we're there for the long run.
00:00:51.720 It's going to be long-term,
00:00:53.380 and we will not forget our cause in Palestine.
00:00:55.980 We will not forget the cause of al-Aqsa. 1.00
00:00:58.300 And we will not forget bidden and ay ta'ana,
00:01:00.120 our brothers and sisters in Gaza.
00:01:02.120 Jazakumullah khairan.
00:01:03.060 Wassalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
00:01:04.880 How are you, sister?
00:01:11.540 Are you okay?
00:01:12.500 Are you Muslim?
00:01:13.440 Yes, I am.
00:01:14.160 I'm Hebrew, actually.
00:01:15.540 Alhamdulillah.
00:01:15.980 How long?
00:01:16.920 A couple of years.
00:01:19.060 I've fallen off a little.
00:01:20.380 I'm on and off.
00:01:21.160 You all fall off.
00:01:21.760 Trust me.
00:01:22.240 I've had my days.
00:01:23.100 It's all learning.
00:01:24.040 It's all learning.
00:01:24.680 Lovely to meet you.
00:01:25.540 I've seen you online and so on.
00:01:28.120 I'm like, oh, how are you?
00:01:29.180 How are you?
00:01:29.860 What was your before, sister?
00:01:32.280 So my mum is Bangladeshi.
00:01:35.200 My dad's Jamaican.
00:01:36.100 My mum's side of the family is Muslim.
00:01:38.920 My grandma raised my mum and their siblings with Islam.
00:01:47.080 And then they kind of all were westernised and kind of rejected the religion.
00:01:50.100 So I wasn't raised with it.
00:01:51.440 I see.
00:01:51.960 And I always felt that sense of like I needed some kind of direction or something growing up.
00:01:58.140 And I think as a teenager and then getting into like a young teenager, I was quite troubled.
00:02:03.740 And, you know.
00:02:04.720 Yeah, me too.
00:02:05.280 I was trying to remember.
00:02:05.760 No, it's like I was a naughty kid and I think as I got older and like learned more lessons
00:02:10.200 through life, I realised that I knew that I wanted religion in my life, but I didn't
00:02:14.800 necessarily know that it was going to be Islam.
00:02:17.020 And then as I learned more about it and met more people who were like from Bangladesh as
00:02:22.240 well, it's like, oh, you know, like Islam's amazing.
00:02:25.640 I told me all these things about it.
00:02:26.920 And I realised that a lot of the things in the Quran like aligned with a lot of things
00:02:31.700 I believed in my life anyways and like a lot of things I wanted from my life.
00:02:35.220 And my morals and stuff.
00:02:37.280 So it was kind of like a natural transition.
00:02:40.220 Transition.
00:02:40.860 Exactly.
00:02:41.700 And I took it, like when I started, I took it really seriously.
00:02:45.480 And I don't think I realised like how much of a commitment it is.
00:02:49.160 Like it really takes so much to do it.
00:02:52.160 But I think, you know what it is?
00:02:53.060 I don't think the commitment is great.
00:02:55.060 I think the pressure externally makes the commitment bigger than it is.
00:02:58.840 Like if you look at the religion of the Jews, you don't know.
00:03:02.840 Shall I tell you something?
00:03:03.740 They have 600 and something 13 laws.
00:03:05.980 It's so difficult.
00:03:07.600 If you look at Judaism, you will say Islam is a walk in the park. 1.00
00:03:11.000 Because we have external pressures.
00:03:13.040 And as women as well, you've got the beauty industry, how to look, what to wear, and there's so much more stigma on you guys.
00:03:22.960 It's even harder.
00:03:23.960 That's the reason why we see an influx of women coming to Islam. 0.99
00:03:27.340 Because liberating yourself from the beauty.
00:03:30.120 Now look, of course every woman. 1.00
00:03:31.620 Like the trial for the woman. 0.91
00:03:33.120 Did you ever used to wear hijab?
00:03:34.500 I did.
00:03:35.200 I actually did.
00:03:36.240 And like when I first started, I did stuff.
00:03:38.140 And I was with someone at the time who was also Muslim as well.
00:03:40.720 So I wanted to take it a bit more seriously, you know, as a couple, you know.
00:03:44.860 Like for that person, like represent him as, you know, as a proper Muslim woman.
00:03:50.600 And even finding, like even that transition from wearing hijab, like it made me realize in myself how much pressure I put on myself outside of just my face of my beauty.
00:04:03.480 And how much I relied on my hair and I relied on my body and what I wore and things like that.
00:04:07.860 And I learned so much about myself.
00:04:10.220 And it was like, it was almost upsetting at first.
00:04:12.260 I remember putting on a hijab for the first time in the bathroom and I cried.
00:04:15.640 Like I cried so much because I realized how much pressure I put on everything outside.
00:04:20.780 And like I don't wear it now at the moment.
00:04:23.740 No problem.
00:04:24.580 I think I've taken, like that's never left me.
00:04:28.660 Like I know that in myself that I'm.
00:04:30.400 So just so I understand, so what's your name?
00:04:32.300 Chen.
00:04:33.480 Sister Chen, do you know how to pray?
00:04:36.240 I did, I did.
00:04:38.500 This is for you?
00:04:39.260 It's a guided prayer mat.
00:04:40.680 But I just want to explore something.
00:04:41.880 So you said that when you put the hijab on, you realize the external pressure of your hair and your body or something like that.
00:04:48.820 Do you mean when you put the hijab on, you realized how much, I'm just trying to understand.
00:04:54.280 Do you mean like how much you relied on looking pretty?
00:04:57.820 Is that what you meant or did I misunderstand you?
00:04:58.880 Yeah, yeah.
00:04:59.500 I think I realized how much I relied on my hair and what I wore and my body to feel pretty, to feel beautiful.
00:05:05.640 Feel validated.
00:05:06.260 To feel that, yeah.
00:05:07.100 Read a book.
00:05:07.800 It's called Beauty Sick.
00:05:08.800 And there's a book called Girls on Edge.
00:05:11.900 Now because what studies are showing is that women have never been more unhappy. 0.99
00:05:15.760 Yeah.
00:05:15.940 And this goes back to that because, for example, the standards are so high.
00:05:19.640 In the book that I'm reading, Beauty Sick, and I'm reading this book called Girls on Edge, it's just an influx of antidepressants.
00:05:26.460 Why?
00:05:26.740 Because, number one, women have to be led. 1.00
00:05:30.200 Allah has made us that the man is the leader.
00:05:32.900 And a woman looks for that. 1.00
00:05:33.700 You can't, you wouldn't deny that.
00:05:34.800 You look for it in a man that he's the leader.
00:05:36.720 Yeah, like definitely in a person who loves someone too.
00:05:38.960 Exactly.
00:05:39.440 Someone that leads, someone that makes decisions.
00:05:41.240 Of course, it doesn't mean you don't have a decision-making factor, but he's the man.
00:05:44.880 You know what I'm trying to say?
00:05:46.020 Exactly.
00:05:46.560 Because the feminine is a flow. 1.00
00:05:49.060 It needs that certain man to be like, you know what?
00:05:51.320 I've got this.
00:05:52.460 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:05:53.020 And a woman appreciates that. 0.90
00:05:54.240 Today, sadly, we have men that are not men.
00:05:56.040 They become more feminine than women. 0.99
00:05:58.100 That's one of the issues we have.
00:05:59.620 Yes.
00:06:00.160 So, I can relate to you because in the book, there was a girl.
00:06:03.900 So, this woman was doing a study. 0.99
00:06:06.040 It's called Beauty Sick for a reason. 0.98
00:06:07.320 It's talking about the sickness of beauty amongst young teenagers.
00:06:10.080 Some of them would starve their self and have a yoga every four hours not to pass out.
00:06:14.040 To have the perfect body.
00:06:16.020 These pressures are so bad.
00:06:17.780 She said that at one point, she wanted to stop the study of how disturbed she got.
00:06:21.800 Speaking to these young girls who were like, I wish I don't have to focus on my looks.
00:06:25.620 That I could spend more time with my family, studying and doing better things.
00:06:29.380 So, the pressure is so immense.
00:06:31.540 So, that's the reason why when you said, for example, in Islam, it comes across as if Islam is restricting you.
00:06:36.860 But rather, the external pressures are so big that when you put the hijab on, you was like, wow. 0.98
00:06:42.040 And because what that does is obviously, because to a man, we are visual creatures.
00:06:45.800 When we see a woman in a hijab and a bayi, we're like, okay, if I have bad intentions, I'm like, okay, she's not about that life. 0.98
00:06:51.420 And then what happens is the tension drops.
00:06:54.460 But it's good because you know why the attention is not retention.
00:06:56.220 So, then you are open because that's the reason why Allah in the Quran, if you look at it, for example, there's a verse which really amazes me.
00:07:03.800 It says,
00:07:04.060 فَإِنَّمَا الْأُسْرَ يُسْرَى
00:07:05.220 إِنَّمَا الْأُسْرَ يُسْرَى
00:07:06.520 With hardship comes ease.
00:07:08.740 And then Allah repeats the statement.
00:07:10.620 Did Allah forget? 0.96
00:07:11.420 No.
00:07:12.440 With hardship comes ease.
00:07:13.700 Now, if with hardship comes ease, the opposite has to be true.
00:07:17.120 With ease comes good.
00:07:19.380 So, what happens is this system.
00:07:21.040 And it's called for both men and women.
00:07:22.520 I say to brothers, if you don't lower your gaze, because I'm talking to you out of respect, I don't want to talk to you like this.
00:07:27.740 Do you get what I'm trying to say?
00:07:28.820 But, lowering the gaze, not looking at haram, looking at a woman who's dressed up inappropriately is the most easiest thing man can do.
00:07:36.340 What it takes is a glance.
00:07:38.120 However, to lower your gaze is hard.
00:07:40.940 But the ease that will follow and that will protect you from not sexually objectifying women, not falling into zina. 0.99
00:07:46.520 So, that's why Allah says, with hardship comes ease.
00:07:49.120 Meaning, do the hardship now, you will see the benefits of ease.
00:07:52.480 So, it comes to the hijab as well.
00:07:54.240 When you wear the hijab, it's damn difficult. 1.00
00:07:57.880 We as men could never understand that.
00:07:59.660 That's why we salute you guys, yeah?
00:08:01.000 And your journey is still there, alhamdulillah.
00:08:02.620 And the hijab is not a covering over the head.
00:08:05.280 Modesty, it starts from everywhere.
00:08:06.680 Do you get it?
00:08:07.300 So, the hijab is hard.
00:08:09.700 But the trials, it protects you from all those F-boys. 1.00
00:08:14.320 When you call them, sorry, I'm a mystery, sorry.
00:08:17.520 Yeah? 1.00
00:08:18.220 It protects you as a barrier to all of those idiots. 1.00
00:08:21.280 And when you have your God, when the right one comes, then you understand and appreciate what it does for you. 0.99
00:08:27.400 But like I said before, everyone has their journey, alhamdulillah.
00:08:29.960 May Allah make it easy for you, subhanAllah. 0.99
00:08:32.380 And like I said, salah is the main thing.
00:08:34.280 I always say, subhanAllah, salah is the main thing. 0.99
00:08:37.580 Salah is the haq of Allah, subhanAllah. 1.00
00:08:39.680 So, may Allah make it easy for you.
00:08:40.680 Do you have any questions for me?
00:08:41.560 Anything that you'd like to?
00:08:42.500 No, that's alright.
00:08:45.200 I just wanted to like kind of just have a chat, really.
00:08:47.580 I've just seen you online so much.
00:08:49.260 I just feel like it'd be nice.
00:08:50.000 Is there anything on your mind?
00:08:50.860 Like for example, when it comes to any misconceptions about Islam?
00:08:54.080 Anything that I can help you with?
00:08:56.000 So like, what's the opinion on, like what is your stance on like gay Muslims?
00:09:02.800 He believes?
00:09:03.920 I had, actually, there's a video of me on TikTok. 0.99
00:09:05.780 Yeah, or gay lesbian Muslims. 1.00
00:09:07.100 Yeah, I was in Leicester Square. 0.99
00:09:08.860 There was a gay guy.
00:09:09.960 So let me give you a Quran. 0.81
00:09:10.840 He's like, nah, nah, not for me.
00:09:11.820 Yeah, sorry, I did acting as well.
00:09:13.720 Nah, nah, not for me.
00:09:14.720 I was like, listen, mate.
00:09:16.040 It's for everyone.
00:09:17.160 He actually fought without Christians.
00:09:19.180 I went to California, yeah.
00:09:21.120 And there was Christians on campus. 0.96
00:09:22.920 They would do me with people to hell. 1.00
00:09:23.940 You're going to hell. 1.00
00:09:25.180 You're going to burn. 1.00
00:09:25.880 And I was like, what the hell is he on about? 0.73
00:09:27.900 Mercy and hope is the fundamentals of Islam.
00:09:30.940 Why does every single verse in the chapter of the Quran, except one chapter in Surah Tawbah,
00:09:35.200 Allah says, Allah is the most merciful, the very merciful.
00:09:37.260 Allah says, my mercy outweighs my anger.
00:09:42.040 Because losing hope is one of the most harmful things ever. 0.97
00:09:45.060 So to me, I always say to the gay guy, you can be a Muslim. 0.97
00:09:48.320 He goes, no.
00:09:48.900 I said, what do you mean no?
00:09:50.020 I said, listen, even if you are acting upon it, as long as you don't say, it's halal.
00:09:56.860 If you say it's halal, you're in trouble.
00:09:58.100 Because Allah said it's haram.
00:09:59.320 But if you are acting upon the deed, and you know it is a sin, what's the difference
00:10:03.740 between you and a man who goes and sleeps around? 1.00
00:10:05.900 Which is wrong, you're still a Muslim. 1.00
00:10:08.220 That's the reason why I can remember, at the time of the Prophet, there was a companion,
00:10:12.900 a sahaba, a companion of the Prophet Muhammad, who fought in the wars with him, the Battle
00:10:17.440 of Badr, the Battle of Uhud, maybe in the Battle of Khandaq.
00:10:20.260 He used to drink alcohol.
00:10:22.420 Imagine in front of the Prophet, not drinking in front of the Prophet, and they used to flog 1.00
00:10:26.720 him, so there was a punishment of flogs, like 60 flogs, yeah?
00:10:30.320 Once, and he was doing this again, they'll keep flogging him in public.
00:10:33.520 One day, one of the companions said, may Allah curse you.
00:10:37.140 Now, you would expect the Prophet to say, yeah, may Allah curse him.
00:10:39.560 He was so angry.
00:10:41.120 He went to the companion and said, don't say that to him, for he loves Allah and his messenger.
00:10:45.700 Now, in today's time, we think he drinks in front of the Prophet. 0.50
00:10:49.520 No, the Prophet ﷺ saw mercy.
00:10:52.220 He said, the act is wrong, but we never say Allah hates him.
00:10:55.640 Because Allah, his repentance in the sight of Allah, might be more heavier than a man 0.98
00:11:01.240 who's a righteous person who's just istighfar.
00:11:03.420 This is what we don't understand.
00:11:05.240 We judge people and say, oh, this person is this person.
00:11:08.100 Now, do we judge people in a parent?
00:11:10.800 Of course we do.
00:11:11.500 If I see a sister dressed up in a miniscuit, or I see a brother who's drinking alcohol,
00:11:15.300 I'm going to judge someone and say, that's haram, that's haram, yes?
00:11:19.420 However, the sinful judge is what?
00:11:22.280 Oh, she dressed up in a miniscuit, she probably sleeps around. 1.00
00:11:24.640 That's haram.
00:11:25.680 Oh, he's got an earring. 1.00
00:11:27.240 He's probably a thief.
00:11:28.740 Excuse me, how did you go from the judgment from the apparent to the judgment of the heart? 0.94
00:11:31.760 That is not allowed.
00:11:32.900 That's where we don't say, only God can judge me, Tupac.
00:11:35.180 Okay, so that's the difference, sister.
00:11:37.160 So like I said before, no one can look at you, and this is what I hate.
00:11:40.040 Oh, she doesn't wear hijab. 0.95
00:11:41.500 Okay, she's probably, excuse me?
00:11:43.440 Who are you to come and say, just because she's struggling with something,
00:11:46.300 I know or heard of stories of sisters who wear hijab, and they do madness. 1.00
00:11:54.100 Madness.
00:11:55.040 Yes?
00:11:55.460 However, I do not want this, I know this is going to be taken as a step.
00:11:58.260 I don't want this to be taken as if, oh, because there's another extreme.
00:12:01.000 Oh, I don't wear the hijab. 0.76
00:12:01.940 No, no, no, hold on a second.
00:12:03.200 True.
00:12:04.000 But this doesn't mean, it gives you a validation of, yeah, but I don't wear the hijab. 0.98
00:12:06.700 Okay, I know sisters who wear the hijab, and they don't do those sins. 0.91
00:12:10.460 So we should always excel ourselves.
00:12:12.320 But one thing is, don't judge.
00:12:13.960 Don't judge a sister and say, she's a niqabi, she must be so pious, you don't know nothing about her.
00:12:18.140 And even look at a sister and say, she doesn't wear the hijab, she must be, no, no, no, no, no. 0.99
00:12:21.100 So that's why Islam has come for us to purify our hearts, and not to be, oh, who's doing what? 0.98
00:12:26.780 You know, so like I said, sister, may Allah preserve and strengthen you.
00:12:29.720 And we do believe gays and lesbians can be Muslims, even if they're doing the act, as long as they don't come and say, no, no, this is permissible.
00:12:37.320 That is the only thing. 0.52
00:12:38.620 Okay, amazing.
00:12:39.520 Oh, that's really good to know, because I'm actually dating a woman at the moment.
00:12:43.400 So, it's something that I, like, thought about in myself, and, you know.
00:12:48.060 So it's a conflict, naturally, that you have, because I know, like, in my heart, I'm a Muslim.
00:12:51.480 Yes.
00:12:51.840 Like, you know, even, like, yesterday, I was, like, praying, because I had some, like, hardships, and I needed a bit of guidance, and, like, you know, help from Allah, like, subhanAllah.
00:12:58.360 Yeah.
00:12:58.500 And, and, yeah, it's something I thought about, because it's, like, if we did, you know, get older and have kids and things, like, I want to raise my children with, like, with, like, Muslim morals.
00:13:09.520 Yeah.
00:13:09.800 You know, Muslim values, Muslim morals, and, and, you know, also just being gay, as well as having those morals.
00:13:17.020 Like, to some people, it might sound mad.
00:13:18.900 Yeah.
00:13:19.260 Like, people might even not even expect this from me.
00:13:21.360 Yeah.
00:13:21.560 Because people, I don't know what perception they have, but they think I'm some kind of, like, yeah, you're doomed to hell, sister.
00:13:25.620 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:25.920 We're going to start it.
00:13:26.580 No, because you know why?
00:13:27.900 Yeah.
00:13:28.080 If you genuinely understand Islam, now, is what you're doing a sin? 1.00
00:13:31.740 Yes.
00:13:32.440 I will never take that away and say to you, no, I'm not going to shirk up on my religion.
00:13:34.740 Yeah.
00:13:34.760 However, a person who bows down to an idol is a million times worse than what you're doing.
00:13:41.580 That's shirk. 0.92
00:13:42.540 People miss, they, they misunderstand things.
00:13:45.540 To us, shirk is the worst thing. 0.91
00:13:46.500 However, have you, was you always like this?
00:13:49.420 Did you become like this?
00:13:50.560 Is there a factor?
00:13:51.600 Just, it's a person you don't need to answer.
00:13:53.040 Yeah, okay.
00:13:53.560 That's fine.
00:13:53.960 You don't need to answer.
00:13:54.480 But what I would say is this, sister, yeah?
00:13:56.120 Is that, look, there was one guy I met, his name was Hussain.
00:13:59.160 He's from Birmingham. 0.99
00:14:00.140 He's gay. 0.99
00:14:01.020 He came to speak to school and I sat with him and I spoke with him.
00:14:03.800 He said something really profound to me.
00:14:05.360 He said, you know what, Ali?
00:14:06.300 He goes, look, I'm gay.
00:14:07.900 However, he goes, I don't act on it.
00:14:10.160 I said, okay.
00:14:11.120 I said, so, so, how do you go about it?
00:14:12.400 Because it's like, to me, I can get married.
00:14:14.480 You get to say, how do you go about it?
00:14:16.780 And he said something to him.
00:14:17.540 He said, you know what, I have my trust in Allah.
00:14:19.240 He goes, if you think about it, married couples,
00:14:21.840 they are so busy with their marital affairs and kids and that,
00:14:24.460 they don't even get time to spend time with Allah.
00:14:26.660 He goes, I use that by having that relationship with Allah personally.
00:14:32.800 And sister, what I would say is this,
00:14:34.320 if you ever leave something for the sake of Allah,
00:14:37.260 Allah would, you see, sister, there was,
00:14:39.000 I think it was Ibn Taymiyyah, the scholar.
00:14:41.280 He said, paradise is in my heart.
00:14:43.060 Jesus, throw me in prisons, throw me wherever you like.
00:14:46.260 If Jannah is here, nothing matters.
00:14:49.220 When you have that relationship with Allah and get closer to him, sister,
00:14:52.860 you see this worldly desires.
00:14:54.920 They slowly, they leave you.
00:14:56.300 And then you have that sweetness of relation with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. 0.82
00:14:59.880 Sometimes, wallah, I'll be honest with you,
00:15:01.320 sometimes there's scholars who never got married.
00:15:03.260 And you think to yourself, we're men, we're visual creatures.
00:15:05.400 All your life you didn't get married?
00:15:07.060 Allah gives you the sweetness of Iman that you don't need anybody. 1.00
00:15:11.040 There's nothing wrong with that, getting married.
00:15:12.340 So I would say, sister, as long as you acknowledge it's wrong,
00:15:16.280 as long as you acknowledge it requires change,
00:15:19.040 just have goals.
00:15:20.220 You know what?
00:15:20.920 Yes, what I'm doing is wrong.
00:15:22.080 I do need a companion in my life.
00:15:24.000 Wallahi, Allah says in the Quran of Surah Talaq,
00:15:26.140 if you fear me, I will give you a way out from places you can never imagine.
00:15:30.920 Wallahi, sister, I've been in situations,
00:15:32.940 it's like I'm at a dead road, it's like a cliff.
00:15:35.380 And you know what I do sometimes?
00:15:37.540 As soon as I sit down and I write down,
00:15:38.780 you know what I write down?
00:15:40.220 I say, I know Allah is going to get me out of this mess.
00:15:43.240 But I'm going to start guessing how Allah is going to do it. 0.99
00:15:45.320 So I'll start writing down.
00:15:46.080 Option one, Allah is going to do this. 0.99
00:15:47.880 Option two.
00:15:48.300 So in my head, I'm thinking,
00:15:49.080 Allah gets me out of that situation.
00:15:56.440 And I will not think of a million years.
00:15:58.780 The way he got me out of it was nothing to do with the list.
00:16:01.520 Something completely came from nowhere.
00:16:03.720 And Allah just shows you,
00:16:05.500 if you fear me,
00:16:06.560 and if you love me,
00:16:07.920 and I come first in your life,
00:16:09.800 I will take you out from any mess,
00:16:12.100 from places you can never imagine.
00:16:13.800 So anytime, just bear that in mind, inshallah.
00:16:16.160 And like I said before,
00:16:16.980 you're a Muslim,
00:16:17.520 never take the identity from you.
00:16:18.760 Don't let any Muslim ever tell you you're not a Muslim.
00:16:21.060 You are a Muslim.
00:16:22.240 And whatever says,
00:16:23.000 may Allah make it easy for you, inshallah.
00:16:25.220 We all go through different trials and tribulations.
00:16:27.260 Have repentance on your tongue.
00:16:28.760 Ask Allah for guidance, inshallah.
00:16:30.160 And may Allah make it easy for you.
00:16:31.340 I do have one more question.
00:16:32.420 Sure, just then.
00:16:33.940 So my ex-partner, a man,
00:16:36.440 he was a reaver as well.
00:16:37.820 Hold on a second.
00:16:38.260 So you was heterosexual at one point?
00:16:41.100 Yeah, yeah.
00:16:41.800 Both, both.
00:16:42.480 I've always been in between.
00:16:44.200 Okay, so there's a possibility to go back to that?
00:16:46.540 Yeah, I guess.
00:16:47.340 Possibility.
00:16:47.780 We're going to make the world clear.
00:16:48.760 Yeah.
00:16:48.980 Inshallah.
00:16:49.680 I'm a good Muslim man.
00:16:51.720 But that's the thing.
00:16:52.520 So I thought I did.
00:16:53.440 So I met a Muslim man.
00:16:55.100 He was actually a reaver as well,
00:16:56.380 which kind of helps encourage me,
00:16:59.140 you know,
00:16:59.640 take my shahada also.
00:17:01.600 Maybe a bit earlier than I think I was ready for,
00:17:03.560 but either way I did.
00:17:04.620 Like, alhamdulillah. 0.97
00:17:05.160 But this man, he wasn't a good man. 0.83
00:17:07.940 He, you know, he was a drug dealer. 0.95
00:17:10.020 He was abusive. 0.93
00:17:11.580 He hit me.
00:17:12.240 He beat me. 0.77
00:17:12.960 His exes, his things like that.
00:17:15.000 And I, in that situation for such a while,
00:17:16.840 but, you know, he, he went to Jumma every Friday.
00:17:19.880 Like, and he did everything.
00:17:21.500 He took drugs.
00:17:22.360 He, like, he sometimes drank, but, you know,
00:17:24.920 and, but he then would like almost, you know,
00:17:28.240 go Jumma every Friday and think that it's a race.
00:17:30.760 Everything that he's done every week, you know,
00:17:33.500 every day that he's done,
00:17:34.480 the drug dealer that he's drinking,
00:17:36.020 that he does,
00:17:36.800 the physical harm that he does
00:17:39.260 and the emotional abuse and stuff.
00:17:40.660 And it's like, what, what do you,
00:17:43.020 I don't know, what's your opinion on that?
00:17:44.520 Your stance on that?
00:17:45.240 I would say this, sister.
00:17:46.340 If in his mind,
00:17:47.840 he's saying,
00:17:49.800 I'm going to do these acts
00:17:51.120 and I don't repent for it.
00:17:53.980 I don't dislike it.
00:17:55.540 I'm happy doing it.
00:17:56.820 I'll go Jumma and it will wipe it out.
00:17:58.640 Yeah.
00:17:59.000 There's, there's, there's truth to it,
00:18:01.000 to an element.
00:18:01.780 When you violate the laws of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, 0.92
00:18:04.620 repentance is required.
00:18:06.120 There's, the scholars say
00:18:06.900 there are three conditions for repentance.
00:18:08.400 You stop the sin.
00:18:09.640 You try not go back to the sin
00:18:11.000 and you hate the sin.
00:18:12.220 However, if you violate the rights of someone
00:18:13.840 who was hitting you,
00:18:15.240 that's unacceptable.
00:18:16.220 Now he needs to ask the forgiveness from you
00:18:17.860 for hitting you.
00:18:19.520 So, to me,
00:18:20.680 if he is someone like a sinner, 0.99
00:18:22.260 if he came to me and said,
00:18:23.080 I've done that,
00:18:23.740 I'll say the same thing.
00:18:24.620 Look, you're wrong for doing that.
00:18:26.240 But don't dispel Allah's mercy.
00:18:27.900 Because there was a man who killed 99 people.
00:18:30.240 He went to a monk
00:18:31.000 and he said,
00:18:31.840 would Allah forgive me?
00:18:32.620 He said, no. 0.99
00:18:33.120 He said, I'm going to kill you too. 1.00
00:18:33.920 He killed him. 1.00
00:18:34.820 Yes, he killed that man as well 0.98
00:18:35.560 because he lost hope.
00:18:36.480 Until he went to another person
00:18:37.680 and he said,
00:18:38.240 go to this land
00:18:39.400 and in this land you will find mercy.
00:18:42.120 On his way to the land he dies.
00:18:44.020 Have you heard the story?
00:18:45.240 Check this out.
00:18:45.980 Look at Allah's mercy.
00:18:47.280 It's a hadith.
00:18:48.200 On the way to the land he dies.
00:18:50.680 The angel of wrath
00:18:52.060 and the angel of mercy come
00:18:53.280 and they're debating one another. 0.97
00:18:54.900 We're taking him to hellfire 1.00
00:18:56.080 because he killed 100 people. 0.99
00:18:58.260 The angel of mercy, no.
00:18:59.240 But he was on the land to the repentance.
00:19:01.940 Some scholars say,
00:19:03.260 you know what these angels came and said?
00:19:04.920 They said,
00:19:05.400 okay, let's measure the distance.
00:19:07.180 Was he closer to the land of repentance
00:19:08.700 or to the land or not?
00:19:09.520 Yeah.
00:19:10.080 They say that Allah shifted the earth
00:19:12.960 so he seems closer
00:19:14.720 so Allah's mercy.
00:19:16.680 You know what that shows you?
00:19:17.680 Allah says in the Quran,
00:19:18.940 what will I get out of punishing you?
00:19:20.960 We don't believe in a God of wrath
00:19:22.500 like Allah wants to fall off in the hellfire.
00:19:24.300 Allah had so much mercy on him
00:19:25.820 that he shifted the land
00:19:27.160 so he can repent.
00:19:28.820 So the question is this.
00:19:29.660 If he came to me,
00:19:30.200 I'll say the same to him.
00:19:31.260 Prophet, what you're doing is wrong.
00:19:32.260 It's in your wife.
00:19:33.280 It's not permissible.
00:19:34.120 Yes.
00:19:34.540 The Prophet ﷺ is the best of mankind.
00:19:36.060 He actually warned against a female companion 0.70
00:19:38.100 who wanted to get married to a certain companion.
00:19:40.160 He said,
00:19:40.400 that man,
00:19:40.760 he carried the stick on his back.
00:19:41.920 Don't marry him.
00:19:42.720 Yeah.
00:19:43.060 So the question is what, sister?
00:19:44.460 I would tell him,
00:19:45.040 don't dispel Allah's mercy.
00:19:46.020 You can change.
00:19:46.840 However,
00:19:47.360 if he's somebody who thinks,
00:19:49.260 I'm going to go do this,
00:19:50.220 this,
00:19:50.340 and I'm going to go do that,
00:19:50.940 you're not fooling Allah.
00:19:52.380 So what I would say, sister,
00:19:53.640 would you think,
00:19:54.680 sorry,
00:19:55.560 do you think that's what,
00:19:57.380 because sometimes certain lesbians, 1.00
00:19:59.360 they have a trauma with so many men.
00:20:02.420 They actually say,
00:20:03.220 you know what?
00:20:04.200 I just don't want these beings in my life.
00:20:06.300 They hate it.
00:20:06.720 It happens.
00:20:07.360 It happens.
00:20:08.320 I've seen it.
00:20:08.820 Do you think that played a role?
00:20:10.200 No,
00:20:10.780 not in this,
00:20:11.440 not in this occasion,
00:20:12.680 but I've seen it.
00:20:13.860 So how did you go from heterosexuality to that?
00:20:17.280 Was it something you was like,
00:20:18.860 because,
00:20:19.100 because you were heterosexual before,
00:20:20.660 what made you say,
00:20:22.300 okay,
00:20:22.520 hold on a second.
00:20:23.420 I want to explore this avenue.
00:20:25.300 I mean,
00:20:25.900 I was with a woman before I was with this guy.
00:20:28.660 I was the man initially,
00:20:30.180 and then with the woman.
00:20:31.020 So before that.
00:20:32.100 Yeah,
00:20:32.320 like I've kind of gone back and forth,
00:20:34.120 in all honesty,
00:20:34.880 over the years.
00:20:35.660 So I wouldn't really say necessarily,
00:20:37.380 it was the trauma from him that turned me to women,
00:20:39.800 because I've dated men after him regardless,
00:20:42.100 and I took time to myself,
00:20:43.980 dated people more casually,
00:20:45.000 things like that.
00:20:45.600 And this is just someone that I became friends with,
00:20:48.580 and got to know more,
00:20:49.560 and we built and developed a connection in our own kind of way.
00:20:54.180 So I wouldn't say it wasn't necessarily because of the trauma.
00:20:55.880 Let me ask you a question.
00:20:56.880 Yeah.
00:20:57.940 Imagine you,
00:20:58.600 because you know when you married him how it was.
00:21:01.340 Yeah.
00:21:01.660 Let's ignore for the sake of how he abused you. 0.56
00:21:06.780 Okay.
00:21:07.500 If he was a good man,
00:21:08.760 when you was with him,
00:21:10.280 how was it before he became like that?
00:21:12.620 Did you see that potential of,
00:21:13.840 okay,
00:21:14.000 this can work,
00:21:14.640 he's treating me well,
00:21:15.300 because in the beginning they're usually good.
00:21:16.640 Yeah.
00:21:16.840 So in that moment,
00:21:18.360 did you see,
00:21:19.180 hmm,
00:21:20.040 this is something that I could live with?
00:21:21.600 Uh,
00:21:22.000 slightly,
00:21:23.160 but I think also my judgment with it was misguided.
00:21:25.820 I think I,
00:21:27.060 what I thought from him I was getting in terms of leadership or protection or guidance,
00:21:32.860 like,
00:21:33.360 you know,
00:21:33.660 or someone like provide,
00:21:35.280 like being a provider.
00:21:36.300 He wasn't there.
00:21:37.340 He,
00:21:37.780 well,
00:21:37.980 at first I thought that he,
00:21:39.160 like he was,
00:21:39.740 but not in a way that,
00:21:41.180 you know,
00:21:41.520 I would accept,
00:21:42.500 or I should have accepted.
00:21:43.960 Like I,
00:21:44.500 essentially,
00:21:45.000 you know,
00:21:45.180 he was just like,
00:21:45.860 had cash flowing and,
00:21:47.580 you know,
00:21:47.860 we were going here and going there.
00:21:49.240 So I thought,
00:21:49.780 oh,
00:21:50.020 like that's what my life could look like,
00:21:52.400 or that's what my life could be.
00:21:53.540 So I thought that that,
00:21:54.640 in my understanding of what a good man would have been,
00:21:56.520 before I found Islam, 0.82
00:21:57.640 like I,
00:21:58.700 that was what my understanding of a good man would have been.
00:22:00.560 So at that moment,
00:22:02.580 was he,
00:22:02.860 was he,
00:22:03.240 was he good?
00:22:04.160 At that moment,
00:22:04.820 yeah.
00:22:05.140 And then quite quickly it turned to not being good.
00:22:07.820 So he was a protector and provider?
00:22:09.620 I would say more provider than protector.
00:22:11.440 Yeah.
00:22:11.720 Because it looks like,
00:22:12.460 it looks like more like,
00:22:13.720 yeah,
00:22:13.800 yeah,
00:22:13.900 he has to protect himself.
00:22:14.900 Yeah,
00:22:15.620 he has to protect himself from himself.
00:22:17.140 Yeah.
00:22:17.880 So it's not,
00:22:18.500 which he doesn't understand.
00:22:19.400 So okay,
00:22:19.960 I would say,
00:22:20.400 look,
00:22:20.840 if that's happened,
00:22:22.260 I think,
00:22:22.560 I'll be honest with you,
00:22:23.300 sister,
00:22:23.700 I genuinely believe,
00:22:25.120 you can find a good man,
00:22:26.480 that will have passed you.
00:22:27.380 But you know what that comes with?
00:22:28.420 That comes with a sacrifice.
00:22:30.360 If you believe in Allah,
00:22:31.880 and his messenger,
00:22:33.200 sacrifice is required.
00:22:34.280 If you say,
00:22:34.660 oh Allah,
00:22:34.960 I know this is a sin,
00:22:35.980 I repent for it.
00:22:36.940 And I want to change my ways to the better.
00:22:39.420 And I believe,
00:22:40.440 do you agree,
00:22:41.400 that Allah controls the entire earth? 0.86
00:22:43.720 Every atom.
00:22:44.840 You know when a rain drops,
00:22:46.060 how it will drop,
00:22:46.780 where it will drop,
00:22:47.460 how it will splatter.
00:22:48.520 That creator can find you a husband. 0.66
00:22:50.560 That creator can find you a husband. 0.66
00:22:52.880 So I would say,
00:22:53.440 sister,
00:22:53.740 Allah will want to see 0.97
00:22:54.640 the sacrifice you want to do
00:22:56.240 for him,
00:22:57.320 not with that condition.
00:22:58.760 We worship Allah unconditionally.
00:23:00.440 So do it saying Allah, 0.90
00:23:01.380 not that I want a husband,
00:23:03.000 I'm doing it for you.
00:23:05.160 And if it comes with a husband,
00:23:06.100 it's a bonus.
00:23:07.040 So I would say,
00:23:07.880 explore it inshallah.
00:23:09.940 Okay,
00:23:10.360 may Allah bless you.
00:23:10.900 Anything else I can help with?
00:23:11.780 No, thank you.
00:23:12.560 May Allah bless you.
00:23:13.080 It's lovely speaking to your sister.
00:23:14.680 May Allah bless you.
00:23:15.220 Don't forget,
00:23:15.780 you are a Muslim,
00:23:16.420 don't let anyone take that away from you.
00:23:18.040 You got the mat?
00:23:18.640 You haven't got the mat?
00:23:19.860 Perfect.
00:23:20.280 Take care, sister.
00:23:20.780 May Allah bless you.
00:23:21.820 So guys,
00:23:22.560 subhanAllah,
00:23:22.800 that was a very,
00:23:23.520 very powerful,
00:23:24.300 subhanAllah,
00:23:24.660 I'll be honest with you.
00:23:25.900 SubhanAllah,
00:23:26.180 these are the people subhanAllah 0.99
00:23:27.520 that we need to give hope.
00:23:29.360 A lot of people are judgmental.
00:23:30.800 They judge the judgments
00:23:31.700 and this and that.
00:23:32.440 Wallahi,
00:23:32.740 let me tell you something.
00:23:33.800 Her being a Muslim, 0.86
00:23:34.800 acknowledging it's a sin,
00:23:36.100 getting close to Allah,
00:23:37.000 knowing she's a Muslim
00:23:37.740 is the main thing.
00:23:38.440 So subhanAllah, 0.87
00:23:39.340 we should always have hope
00:23:40.400 in Allah subhanAllah's mercy.
00:23:42.600 And believe me,
00:23:42.940 there are people out there
00:23:43.380 who are doing more mad stuff.
00:23:44.520 SubhanAllah.
00:23:44.700 So please make dua
00:23:45.620 for our sister Chen inshallah.