Ali Dawah - December 15, 2025SHE DIDN’T EXPECT THIS RESPONSE - HEART TOUCHING CONVO
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
220.70512
Summary
In this episode, I speak to a Muslim woman who shares her story of how she became a Muslim and how she made the transition from being a non-believer to a believer in Islam. She shares her experience of growing up in a Muslim household and her journey to becoming a Muslim.
Transcript
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Like, what is your stance on, like, gay Muslims?
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is a million times worse than what you're doing.
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As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
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we have to understand that opposition is counting on us
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And just as we can't allow them to dictate our attention,
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we also can't allow them to dictate the pace of our solidarity.
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And part of that solidarity is going to be there
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I am proud to give my support, my word of support,
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to trusted brothers and sisters in the United Kingdom
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that have started a waqf, that have started an endowment
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to make sure, inshallah ta'ala, that we're there for the long run.
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My grandma raised my mum and their siblings with Islam.
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And then they kind of all were westernised and kind of rejected the religion.
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And I always felt that sense of like I needed some kind of direction or something growing up.
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And I think as a teenager and then getting into like a young teenager, I was quite troubled.
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No, it's like I was a naughty kid and I think as I got older and like learned more lessons
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through life, I realised that I knew that I wanted religion in my life, but I didn't
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necessarily know that it was going to be Islam.
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And then as I learned more about it and met more people who were like from Bangladesh as
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well, it's like, oh, you know, like Islam's amazing.
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And I realised that a lot of the things in the Quran like aligned with a lot of things
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I believed in my life anyways and like a lot of things I wanted from my life.
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And I took it, like when I started, I took it really seriously.
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And I don't think I realised like how much of a commitment it is.
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I think the pressure externally makes the commitment bigger than it is.
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Like if you look at the religion of the Jews, you don't know.
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If you look at Judaism, you will say Islam is a walk in the park.
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And as women as well, you've got the beauty industry, how to look, what to wear, and there's so much more stigma on you guys.
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That's the reason why we see an influx of women coming to Islam.
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And I was with someone at the time who was also Muslim as well.
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So I wanted to take it a bit more seriously, you know, as a couple, you know.
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Like for that person, like represent him as, you know, as a proper Muslim woman.
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And even finding, like even that transition from wearing hijab, like it made me realize in myself how much pressure I put on myself outside of just my face of my beauty.
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And how much I relied on my hair and I relied on my body and what I wore and things like that.
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And it was like, it was almost upsetting at first.
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I remember putting on a hijab for the first time in the bathroom and I cried.
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Like I cried so much because I realized how much pressure I put on everything outside.
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So you said that when you put the hijab on, you realize the external pressure of your hair and your body or something like that.
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Do you mean when you put the hijab on, you realized how much, I'm just trying to understand.
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Do you mean like how much you relied on looking pretty?
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Is that what you meant or did I misunderstand you?
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I think I realized how much I relied on my hair and what I wore and my body to feel pretty, to feel beautiful.
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Now because what studies are showing is that women have never been more unhappy.
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And this goes back to that because, for example, the standards are so high.
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In the book that I'm reading, Beauty Sick, and I'm reading this book called Girls on Edge, it's just an influx of antidepressants.
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Yeah, like definitely in a person who loves someone too.
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Someone that leads, someone that makes decisions.
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Of course, it doesn't mean you don't have a decision-making factor, but he's the man.
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It needs that certain man to be like, you know what?
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So, I can relate to you because in the book, there was a girl.
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It's talking about the sickness of beauty amongst young teenagers.
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Some of them would starve their self and have a yoga every four hours not to pass out.
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She said that at one point, she wanted to stop the study of how disturbed she got.
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Speaking to these young girls who were like, I wish I don't have to focus on my looks.
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That I could spend more time with my family, studying and doing better things.
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So, that's the reason why when you said, for example, in Islam, it comes across as if Islam is restricting you.
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But rather, the external pressures are so big that when you put the hijab on, you was like, wow.
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And because what that does is obviously, because to a man, we are visual creatures.
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When we see a woman in a hijab and a bayi, we're like, okay, if I have bad intentions, I'm like, okay, she's not about that life.
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But it's good because you know why the attention is not retention.
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So, then you are open because that's the reason why Allah in the Quran, if you look at it, for example, there's a verse which really amazes me.
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Now, if with hardship comes ease, the opposite has to be true.
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I say to brothers, if you don't lower your gaze, because I'm talking to you out of respect, I don't want to talk to you like this.
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But, lowering the gaze, not looking at haram, looking at a woman who's dressed up inappropriately is the most easiest thing man can do.
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But the ease that will follow and that will protect you from not sexually objectifying women, not falling into zina.
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So, that's why Allah says, with hardship comes ease.
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Meaning, do the hardship now, you will see the benefits of ease.
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And your journey is still there, alhamdulillah.
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But the trials, it protects you from all those F-boys.
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When you call them, sorry, I'm a mystery, sorry.
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It protects you as a barrier to all of those idiots.
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And when you have your God, when the right one comes, then you understand and appreciate what it does for you.
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But like I said before, everyone has their journey, alhamdulillah.
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I always say, subhanAllah, salah is the main thing.
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I just wanted to like kind of just have a chat, really.
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Like for example, when it comes to any misconceptions about Islam?
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So like, what's the opinion on, like what is your stance on like gay Muslims?
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I had, actually, there's a video of me on TikTok.
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Why does every single verse in the chapter of the Quran, except one chapter in Surah Tawbah,
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Allah says, Allah is the most merciful, the very merciful.
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Because losing hope is one of the most harmful things ever.
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So to me, I always say to the gay guy, you can be a Muslim.
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I said, listen, even if you are acting upon it, as long as you don't say, it's halal.
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But if you are acting upon the deed, and you know it is a sin, what's the difference
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between you and a man who goes and sleeps around?
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That's the reason why I can remember, at the time of the Prophet, there was a companion,
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a sahaba, a companion of the Prophet Muhammad, who fought in the wars with him, the Battle
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of Badr, the Battle of Uhud, maybe in the Battle of Khandaq.
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Imagine in front of the Prophet, not drinking in front of the Prophet, and they used to flog
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him, so there was a punishment of flogs, like 60 flogs, yeah?
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Once, and he was doing this again, they'll keep flogging him in public.
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One day, one of the companions said, may Allah curse you.
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Now, you would expect the Prophet to say, yeah, may Allah curse him.
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He went to the companion and said, don't say that to him, for he loves Allah and his messenger.
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Now, in today's time, we think he drinks in front of the Prophet.
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He said, the act is wrong, but we never say Allah hates him.
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Because Allah, his repentance in the sight of Allah, might be more heavier than a man
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We judge people and say, oh, this person is this person.
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If I see a sister dressed up in a miniscuit, or I see a brother who's drinking alcohol,
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I'm going to judge someone and say, that's haram, that's haram, yes?
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Oh, she dressed up in a miniscuit, she probably sleeps around.
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Excuse me, how did you go from the judgment from the apparent to the judgment of the heart?
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That's where we don't say, only God can judge me, Tupac.
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So like I said before, no one can look at you, and this is what I hate.
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Who are you to come and say, just because she's struggling with something,
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I know or heard of stories of sisters who wear hijab, and they do madness.
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However, I do not want this, I know this is going to be taken as a step.
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I don't want this to be taken as if, oh, because there's another extreme.
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But this doesn't mean, it gives you a validation of, yeah, but I don't wear the hijab.
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Okay, I know sisters who wear the hijab, and they don't do those sins.
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Don't judge a sister and say, she's a niqabi, she must be so pious, you don't know nothing about her.
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And even look at a sister and say, she doesn't wear the hijab, she must be, no, no, no, no, no.
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So that's why Islam has come for us to purify our hearts, and not to be, oh, who's doing what?
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You know, so like I said, sister, may Allah preserve and strengthen you.
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And we do believe gays and lesbians can be Muslims, even if they're doing the act, as long as they don't come and say, no, no, this is permissible.
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Oh, that's really good to know, because I'm actually dating a woman at the moment.
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So, it's something that I, like, thought about in myself, and, you know.
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So it's a conflict, naturally, that you have, because I know, like, in my heart, I'm a Muslim.
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Like, you know, even, like, yesterday, I was, like, praying, because I had some, like, hardships, and I needed a bit of guidance, and, like, you know, help from Allah, like, subhanAllah.
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And, and, yeah, it's something I thought about, because it's, like, if we did, you know, get older and have kids and things, like, I want to raise my children with, like, with, like, Muslim morals.
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You know, Muslim values, Muslim morals, and, and, you know, also just being gay, as well as having those morals.
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Like, people might even not even expect this from me.
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Because people, I don't know what perception they have, but they think I'm some kind of, like, yeah, you're doomed to hell, sister.
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If you genuinely understand Islam, now, is what you're doing a sin?
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I will never take that away and say to you, no, I'm not going to shirk up on my religion.
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However, a person who bows down to an idol is a million times worse than what you're doing.
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Is that, look, there was one guy I met, his name was Hussain.
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He came to speak to school and I sat with him and I spoke with him.
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He said, you know what, I have my trust in Allah.
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He goes, if you think about it, married couples,
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they are so busy with their marital affairs and kids and that,
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they don't even get time to spend time with Allah.
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He goes, I use that by having that relationship with Allah personally.
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if you ever leave something for the sake of Allah,
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Jesus, throw me in prisons, throw me wherever you like.
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When you have that relationship with Allah and get closer to him, sister,
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And then you have that sweetness of relation with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
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sometimes there's scholars who never got married.
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And you think to yourself, we're men, we're visual creatures.
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Allah gives you the sweetness of Iman that you don't need anybody.
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There's nothing wrong with that, getting married.
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So I would say, sister, as long as you acknowledge it's wrong,
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Wallahi, Allah says in the Quran of Surah Talaq,
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if you fear me, I will give you a way out from places you can never imagine.
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it's like I'm at a dead road, it's like a cliff.
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I say, I know Allah is going to get me out of this mess.
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But I'm going to start guessing how Allah is going to do it.
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The way he got me out of it was nothing to do with the list.
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Don't let any Muslim ever tell you you're not a Muslim.
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We all go through different trials and tribulations.
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Okay, so there's a possibility to go back to that?
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Maybe a bit earlier than I think I was ready for,
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but, you know, he, he went to Jumma every Friday.
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go Jumma every Friday and think that it's a race.
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Everything that he's done every week, you know,
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When you violate the laws of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,
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who wanted to get married to a certain companion.
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So how did you go from heterosexuality to that?
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it was the trauma from him that turned me to women,
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And this is just someone that I became friends with,
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and we built and developed a connection in our own kind of way.
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So I wouldn't say it wasn't necessarily because of the trauma.
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because you know when you married him how it was.
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Let's ignore for the sake of how he abused you.
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but I think also my judgment with it was misguided.
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what I thought from him I was getting in terms of leadership or protection or guidance,
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in my understanding of what a good man would have been,
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that was what my understanding of a good man would have been.
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And then quite quickly it turned to not being good.