Ali Dawah - SHOULD MARRIED COUPLES HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS？ - EP 12 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

00:00:00.000 I actually got a message from a brother that I kind of know.

00:00:02.780 Here is the message that was sent by his wife's friend, who is a female.

00:00:06.880 Okay, so here is how it goes.

00:00:08.280 You need to answer now.

00:00:09.160 It's very important.

00:00:10.520 Don't do the deed, meaning do not consummate the marriage.

00:00:13.800 See, this period is getting to no period.

00:00:16.240 Should married couples have such single friends? 0.99

00:00:19.500 What do you guys make it out?

00:00:21.040 So it's not whether she is single or whether she is divorced.

00:00:23.860 It's women in general. 1.00

00:00:25.840 That's the issue here.

00:00:26.960 Imagine if the wife done what many women do do, of taking her friend's wife. 1.00

00:00:31.680 Imagine she was like, you know what, for real, I'm going to make him wait.

00:00:34.400 Oh my God.

00:00:35.000 It's like having no devil.

00:00:35.980 This is how my rooms are born.

00:00:37.380 This is how, like, red pill movements are born, bro.

00:00:40.880 I don't think you should have anyone involved in your marriage regardless of who it is,

00:00:45.180 whether it's your friend, your mum, your dad, your brother, your cousin.

00:00:47.600 I don't think anyone should have an opinion on your marriage because it's your marriage.

00:00:50.860 It's no one else's marriage.

00:00:51.780 It's your marriage.

00:00:52.840 And secondly, it is a problem amongst the women, Muslim women. 0.86

00:00:56.400 Women do talk to their friends about personal issues that they shouldn't. 1.00

00:01:00.640 It doesn't matter who it is, whether it's your best friend, your mum, your dad, psychologist.

00:01:03.400 It doesn't matter.

00:01:04.000 Take it with a pinch of salt because that person is not in your shoes.

00:01:07.200 Only you know your situation.

00:01:09.240 If your friends are going to emotionally blackmail you by saying that, you know,

00:01:12.080 if you don't tell us this, that we're not going to be friends with you,

00:01:14.000 then you're just going to be the wrong friends to begin with.

00:01:15.820 As a man, I wouldn't want to play tug of war with my wife, you know, going back and forth. 0.99

00:01:20.120 Her friends are secretly telling her things in her ear.

00:01:22.240 I'm going to feel like I'm playing tug of war. 0.99

00:01:23.680 Sex to a man is love. 0.97

00:01:25.360 Yes.

00:01:25.780 When you're taking away that love, you're taking away an integral part of that relationship.

00:01:30.440 Guaranteed that advice from her friend was going through her mind

00:01:34.000 when that was meant to be one of the most blessed,

00:01:36.080 your sacred, pure times that she was ever meant to experience in her whole life.

00:01:40.220 If somebody told him, don't give, give love to your missus.

00:01:43.680 Bro, bro, there'll be World War II.

00:01:45.020 There'll be World War II.

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00:02:13.220 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi barakatuh, brothers and sisters and dear friends.

00:02:16.140 Hope you guys are well, inshallah.

00:02:17.040 Welcome to another episode of The Bitter Truth Show.

00:02:19.400 Before I start, I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala,

00:02:21.200 the most merciful, the most just,

00:02:22.320 who praises glory and gratitude belong to him.

00:02:24.780 And I want to thank brother Anas, may Allah bless him.

00:02:27.420 And also the other team members, brother Abdul Kareem,

00:02:31.180 who's doing the work, brother Jabi.

00:02:34.060 And also I want to thank the co-producer, which is my wife,

00:02:36.960 who helps me.

00:02:37.780 We have very severe debates at home.

00:02:40.280 But we've come to conclusions and agree to disagree.

00:02:43.200 Sometimes I punch Amjok. 1.00

00:02:45.620 That's a joke, of course.

00:02:47.520 Anyways, so bitter buzzers.

00:02:49.860 There's four bitter buzzers.

00:02:50.860 If any of you guys disagree with anyone else,

00:02:53.220 you have one and a half minutes without being interrupted to speak.

00:02:58.820 Other than that, just to address a couple of people who might be a bit jahid, 1.00

00:03:02.440 who are like, oh, look at these people who are Freenixson,

00:03:04.360 which we have to touch with sadly, yeah?

00:03:05.860 Our honourable sisters who are here, who are at the back,

00:03:08.960 our honourable brothers are here, who practice, who fear Allah,

00:03:11.960 you are slandering by accusing us with your jahid, no knowledge,

00:03:16.080 that we are here for them.

00:03:17.520 So fear Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala. 1.00

00:03:19.000 We are here for the sake of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala,

00:03:21.040 and for that purpose only, inshaAllah.

00:03:23.220 And that's it.

00:03:23.760 Today's topic is very, very interesting,

00:03:25.440 because I actually got a message from a brother that I kind of know.

00:03:29.920 He's newly married.

00:03:31.240 It's his first night with his wife,

00:03:33.620 and here is the message that was sent by his wife's friend,

00:03:37.700 who is a female,

00:03:38.840 warning her to not have intimacy with his own wife.

00:03:44.240 I'm going to read it out for you guys.

00:03:45.580 Yeah? You guys ready?

00:03:47.180 Here it is. This is how it goes.

00:03:48.300 Okay.

00:03:48.580 The topic is, should married couples have single friends?

00:03:54.980 That's the topic, yeah?

00:03:55.680 And here is, I'm going to read it as much as I can,

00:03:58.360 and give some context.

00:03:59.880 Okay. So here is how it goes.

00:04:01.140 Okay.

00:04:02.140 I'm calling you.

00:04:03.160 This is what she's saying, yeah?

00:04:04.940 And she goes, I can't speak.

00:04:07.520 As I am in the Uber.

00:04:08.680 Don't want him to understand, lol.

00:04:10.500 Okay.

00:04:11.860 And then she goes, you know, laughing.

00:04:14.220 And then she mentions to her,

00:04:16.580 now, you need to answer now.

00:04:18.620 It's very important.

00:04:20.140 Don't do the deed.

00:04:21.840 Meaning, do not consummate the marriage.

00:04:23.980 Yeah?

00:04:24.440 Okay.

00:04:25.240 Then she goes, read above.

00:04:26.940 Like, super important.

00:04:28.420 So now, this sister who's married to his brother is saying,

00:04:30.500 excuse me?

00:04:31.640 Like, question mark.

00:04:33.780 Like, what's going on?

00:04:35.100 Then she goes, see, this period is getting to no period.

00:04:38.620 So she's saying, this period is getting to no period, yes?

00:04:40.900 Honestly, sis, everything they said to me made sense.

00:04:43.980 I will explain to you properly via a call, inshallah.

00:04:47.680 The guy, basically, if you make it easy now,

00:04:50.160 he won't see you as someone who is worthy for him.

00:04:53.740 If that makes sense, he needs to earn your worthiness.

00:04:58.000 So this is a married woman who has been married.

00:05:00.540 And her friend is telling her, do not, you know,

00:05:04.200 consummate the marriage.

00:05:05.460 And she goes, are you serious?

00:05:07.280 With a laughing emoji.

00:05:08.500 Yeah?

00:05:09.080 She goes, absolutely.

00:05:10.320 Wallahi.

00:05:11.020 They woke me up.

00:05:11.860 We don't know who they are, by the way.

00:05:13.000 It's the Illuminati.

00:05:13.980 It's the aliens.

00:05:14.540 We don't know who they are, yeah?

00:05:16.160 I will explain to you properly via a call.

00:05:19.100 Okay, no, I've seen that.

00:05:19.700 Oh, sorry.

00:05:20.660 And then she goes, absolutely.

00:05:21.780 Wallahi.

00:05:22.040 They woke me up.

00:05:23.020 And she goes, I see your point.

00:05:25.640 I think maybe not to be awkward.

00:05:27.080 But I won't refuse my husband.

00:05:29.040 It's his haq. 0.88

00:05:30.140 May Allah bless the wife.

00:05:31.480 She's got some common sense, yeah? 0.84

00:05:33.340 Then the friend goes, mentions her name,

00:05:36.100 and goes, especially, was like,

00:05:38.380 you're basically thinking,

00:05:40.200 that doesn't make sense.

00:05:41.420 Try postpone it as much as possible

00:05:44.780 to get to know him better.

00:05:46.900 They both said, even till now,

00:05:49.460 they don't think their husbands well. 1.00

00:05:51.940 You only get to know them well

00:05:53.760 when a situation happens,

00:05:55.480 when you need them, etc.

00:05:57.660 And whether they step in or out

00:05:59.880 at that moment,

00:06:01.380 so they stress how one should put their feelings aside

00:06:05.260 and wait for the right moment.

00:06:08.180 Also, you never know at any moment

00:06:10.040 there's a possibility of you conceiving.

00:06:12.440 So you need to be ready for it.

00:06:15.500 Then she goes, the wife goes, 0.98

00:06:17.180 let's call, I'll call you tomorrow

00:06:18.560 and properly talk about it.

00:06:19.840 She's, yes, I'm sorry.

00:06:21.340 Yeah, but we have to give context.

00:06:22.860 Definitely, inshallah.

00:06:24.060 So much going on.

00:06:25.200 Now, this is what she says, yeah?

00:06:26.640 It's, I know it's a difficult thing,

00:06:28.620 but you really should think about it.

00:06:30.020 Honestly, you're still at the beginning stage

00:06:32.700 and you don't want him to say,

00:06:34.620 khalas, I finally have her fully. 0.54

00:06:37.180 You would like that to happen in the future, no?

00:06:40.240 Like near to the wulema, 0.96

00:06:41.560 unless you absolutely have no desire

00:06:43.100 to having a wulema.

00:06:44.400 Now, this is what the wife says. 1.00

00:06:45.480 It says, calm down, my love.

00:06:47.100 My husband is super comforting and reasonable.

00:06:50.360 I don't have any reason to be oppressive to him.

00:06:53.000 Trust me, it's all good.

00:06:54.340 Now, the message continues on and on and on.

00:06:56.280 And she's saying, you know,

00:06:57.340 don't consummate the marriage for three months,

00:06:59.540 four months, whatever it is, yeah?

00:07:01.880 Now, I don't know what you guys make it to be, yeah?

00:07:04.500 Okay, but the question that needs to be asked

00:07:06.120 is the following.

00:07:07.440 Should married couples have such single friends? 0.99

00:07:10.960 Is this, and by the way,

00:07:12.060 I want to make some disclaimers.

00:07:13.300 Please, let's try not to backbite the sister, 0.98

00:07:14.660 whoever it is that's doing this.

00:07:15.820 It might be from genuine concern.

00:07:17.540 It might not be.

00:07:18.320 It might be jealousy, whatever it may be.

00:07:20.100 What do you guys make it out

00:07:21.480 from a sister's perspective

00:07:22.880 that another sister wanting another sister

00:07:25.140 who just got married,

00:07:26.160 is this jealousy?

00:07:27.440 Is this a genuine concern?

00:07:28.840 And the brother said to me

00:07:30.380 very clearly and directly,

00:07:31.480 he paid 9,000 pounds worth of goat.

00:07:34.220 He's gone to the father and spoken.

00:07:36.800 He's done a nikya. 1.00

00:07:38.020 He's paid mahar, cash,

00:07:39.920 and he's doing it with lima.

00:07:41.760 But this sister's warning her friend

00:07:43.380 as if she's in her own relationship.

00:07:45.400 What do you guys make it out?

00:07:48.580 Sister, let's start with sisters. 1.00

00:07:49.800 Is this a jealous friend?

00:07:51.040 What is this?

00:07:51.360 I want to know.

00:07:52.240 I think to start off,

00:07:54.780 we need to go back to understanding

00:07:57.500 how important it is to have a circle

00:07:59.800 and friendship around us

00:08:01.240 that is for us.

00:08:03.740 And Islamically and even psychologically, 0.99

00:08:06.520 it really does say and talk about

00:08:08.900 how important it is to vet

00:08:10.880 and filter your friends

00:08:12.900 so that whether they're single or not,

00:08:15.880 they are there where you can turn to

00:08:18.180 or they can turn to you

00:08:19.620 in the best way forward,

00:08:21.240 especially when it comes to you

00:08:23.820 seeking for their advice

00:08:25.140 or guidance and things like that,

00:08:26.840 they are actually fit for it.

00:08:28.840 And this seems to be where

00:08:30.520 I would not even give this person attention

00:08:32.780 to respond so much

00:08:35.040 if that was actually done to me

00:08:36.420 because I would know

00:08:37.220 that that's not necessarily for my benefit.

00:08:40.820 But a lot of people are taken away

00:08:42.660 by their friends

00:08:43.960 and they do listen

00:08:45.520 and they are enabled.

00:08:46.820 So it really does show a character

00:08:50.280 of somebody who has a friend like that

00:08:53.080 and keeps it

00:08:53.640 and also seeks guidance from it.

00:08:55.380 And I personally wouldn't give attention

00:08:56.500 to someone like that,

00:08:57.700 especially on my wedding night.

00:08:59.740 Okay, interesting.

00:09:01.380 Sisters?

00:09:03.620 Assalamualaikum.

00:09:04.600 Just before I start,

00:09:05.720 just a little bit of introduction

00:09:06.600 about myself.

00:09:08.600 My name is Mahnur.

00:09:09.900 I'm a mom to two under two,

00:09:11.360 alhamdulillah.

00:09:12.340 I'm currently studying

00:09:13.400 ABSC in psychology.

00:09:14.980 I'm in my third year.

00:09:15.800 I do part-time teaching,

00:09:17.840 teaching the Arabic language,

00:09:19.420 Quran and Islamic studies

00:09:21.100 to girls ages 7 to 18.

00:09:24.280 I also conduct a weekly class on Zoom

00:09:27.180 where I mentor

00:09:28.260 and discuss different topics

00:09:29.800 surrounding mental health

00:09:30.980 from a secular Islamic perspective

00:09:32.400 at Albert Institute.

00:09:35.280 To answer your question,

00:09:36.620 I think there has to be boundaries

00:09:37.820 with friends.

00:09:38.520 They need to know that

00:09:41.820 whatever goes on between you

00:09:43.080 and your husband

00:09:43.460 is none of their business,

00:09:44.400 to be honest.

00:09:45.080 It's your personal life.

00:09:47.380 The problem is that sometimes

00:09:48.720 the people that we should be

00:09:50.060 most close to

00:09:50.740 and most open to

00:09:51.400 are our own spouses.

00:09:52.800 We don't share with them openly,

00:09:54.600 but we're willing to take advice

00:09:55.900 from people around us,

00:09:56.980 whether they be friends

00:09:57.820 or family.

00:09:58.340 You know,

00:10:00.660 as a previous episode

00:10:01.980 mentioned as well,

00:10:02.740 that husband and wife

00:10:03.340 should try and have

00:10:04.140 a good mutual understanding

00:10:05.440 and everything is reciprocal.

00:10:07.180 So you can't really predict

00:10:08.560 what's going to happen

00:10:09.180 on your wedding night

00:10:09.740 and what's not going to happen.

00:10:11.100 It really depends on

00:10:12.260 how things work out.

00:10:13.320 And if it works out for you,

00:10:14.140 alhamdulillah,

00:10:14.880 and if it doesn't,

00:10:15.680 then, you know,

00:10:16.400 there's plenty of time in life

00:10:17.380 and you can always

00:10:17.980 go on things.

00:10:19.900 Okay, well, Sister Mahnur,

00:10:21.720 yeah, but you've got

00:10:22.220 a friend here now

00:10:23.000 who's basically,

00:10:24.100 now we need to think about it.

00:10:25.040 Islamically,

00:10:25.480 they are married.

00:10:26.900 This brother,

00:10:27.660 look, this sounds crazy to me

00:10:29.540 that this man has given

00:10:31.080 Mahar 9,000 pound of gold.

00:10:33.120 Bro, best believe that guy's serious.

00:10:34.360 9,000 pound of gold?

00:10:35.020 Are you mad?

00:10:36.040 And given, I think,

00:10:37.000 3,000 or 5,000 pound in cash.

00:10:38.520 He's gone to the father.

00:10:39.360 He's done a niqah. 1.00

00:10:40.640 Bro, he's going to buy

00:10:41.300 all legit.

00:10:42.360 And then you've got this friend

00:10:43.580 who is coming out

00:10:44.700 and saying,

00:10:45.320 no, no, no, no, no,

00:10:46.140 you know,

00:10:46.420 you should wait

00:10:47.460 because and this and that.

00:10:49.080 To me, 0.99

00:10:49.780 this is toxic femininity. 1.00

00:10:51.500 This is, to me,

00:10:51.980 Ajib is very strange to me. 0.96

00:10:53.620 So, reading that,

00:10:55.140 do you think,

00:10:56.500 is there some kind

00:10:57.180 of jealousy involved?

00:10:57.840 Because I personally believe

00:10:59.060 there's a theory.

00:10:59.480 I might be wrong.

00:11:00.060 I'm offered to be corrected.

00:11:01.380 I think this comes more

00:11:02.280 from the sister side

00:11:03.300 that should,

00:11:04.740 I would firstly say,

00:11:05.440 should married women 1.00

00:11:07.000 have single friends?

00:11:08.500 Because from our circle,

00:11:09.820 I don't think any brother

00:11:10.460 can come.

00:11:11.200 I mean, I've been fed

00:11:11.940 with Zeeshan,

00:11:12.440 may Allah bless him,

00:11:12.940 for a long time.

00:11:14.020 He would never see me

00:11:14.860 come in and say,

00:11:15.540 oh, bro, by the way,

00:11:16.460 yeah, how's things,

00:11:17.260 like, you can have this discussion

00:11:18.200 husband, wife, marriage,

00:11:19.920 et cetera.

00:11:20.300 But never crossing the line of,

00:11:21.880 bro, make sure you don't do this.

00:11:22.920 Or he messaged me and goes,

00:11:23.820 ah, bro, you know,

00:11:24.700 you knew they got married.

00:11:25.440 So, these don't happen with men.

00:11:27.100 So, do you think

00:11:27.960 this is a sister's issue

00:11:29.020 where there's jealousy involved? 0.89

00:11:30.300 Because I can see,

00:11:31.340 forgive me,

00:11:31.740 I was just looking.

00:11:32.440 I saw one, two, three,

00:11:34.240 four heads nearly nod.

00:11:35.860 So, there's a reason it's nodding.

00:11:37.280 Please, can you tell us,

00:11:37.980 sisters,

00:11:38.140 because it seems like

00:11:38.780 we're missing something.

00:11:39.660 As men,

00:11:40.520 the bitter truth show,

00:11:41.260 well, I want to understand

00:11:42.220 the opposite gender better. 0.99

00:11:43.560 So, please tell us

00:11:44.120 why you all nodding your heads,

00:11:45.120 because it's a phenomena.

00:11:47.140 To begin with,

00:11:48.040 that's not even a brand.

00:11:51.740 You know,

00:11:52.040 that right there

00:11:52.980 is a woman who's delusional. 0.60

00:11:54.180 She's more of an enemy to her 1.00

00:11:55.400 than she is to a friend.

00:11:57.060 And I think this is why

00:11:58.260 women have to be so careful 1.00

00:12:00.280 about who they class as friends.

00:12:03.280 And just because a friendship

00:12:04.260 has lasted less than 10 years,

00:12:06.300 you're now in your 12th or 14th year,

00:12:08.680 it doesn't mean it's supposed

00:12:09.400 to last a lifetime.

00:12:11.340 Sometimes people,

00:12:12.820 you know,

00:12:13.020 you're supposed to let go of them

00:12:14.140 because they fulfilled

00:12:15.060 their purpose in their life.

00:12:16.040 When a person becomes toxic

00:12:17.560 and, you know,

00:12:18.440 subhanAllah,

00:12:18.920 this is to clearly know

00:12:19.680 if the person isn't right,

00:12:20.820 she's toxic,

00:12:21.380 she's obviously giving 0.97

00:12:21.920 the wrong advice.

00:12:23.620 It's a sign you've got

00:12:24.660 to let that person go.

00:12:26.080 And I think a lot of women, 1.00

00:12:27.400 when they are friends for so long,

00:12:29.020 they almost feel like

00:12:29.620 I now have authority

00:12:30.940 over my friend.

00:12:32.420 Therefore,

00:12:32.780 she must do as I say.

00:12:35.660 And when that doesn't happen,

00:12:36.600 they will manipulate her.

00:12:37.940 They will call her any name

00:12:39.560 that they possibly can

00:12:40.580 to get her

00:12:41.460 to almost like become submissive

00:12:43.820 and fall into her trap.

00:12:46.040 But yeah,

00:12:46.500 no,

00:12:46.680 to answer your question,

00:12:47.640 I'm 100% jealousy right there.

00:12:49.560 Yeah,

00:12:49.760 I agree with the story there.

00:12:51.340 I think that's what we do sometimes,

00:12:53.500 unfortunately,

00:12:54.580 like a bit of drama

00:12:55.320 and can't go along with that as well.

00:12:57.560 I think it's just important

00:12:58.500 that we try to keep

00:12:59.540 our married lives

00:13:00.240 as private as possible.

00:13:01.480 And if need be to get help,

00:13:03.000 go and get professional help,

00:13:04.060 go to your elders in the family, 0.82

00:13:05.640 not friends who are not

00:13:06.540 having even experience.

00:13:07.660 It's almost like,

00:13:08.720 I mean,

00:13:09.000 as we were talking about this

00:13:09.860 the other day,

00:13:10.180 but if I had like,

00:13:11.320 let's say,

00:13:11.900 you know,

00:13:12.260 some sort of disease

00:13:13.040 and would I go to someone

00:13:14.420 who's not a doctor

00:13:14.980 to ask for like medical advice?

00:13:16.860 So similarly,

00:13:17.400 if you're not married,

00:13:19.420 sorry,

00:13:19.700 if your friend's not married,

00:13:21.480 you know,

00:13:22.000 there's no point

00:13:22.460 of seeking advice from that.

00:13:23.640 And if they genuinely have concern,

00:13:25.140 then there's always a way

00:13:25.860 to go around it.

00:13:26.760 So they will come from a place 1.00

00:13:27.960 of, you know,

00:13:28.980 genuine concern

00:13:29.760 and you can tell

00:13:30.480 by a person's body language

00:13:31.480 and how they're communicating

00:13:32.680 is that they're really concerned

00:13:33.720 for you.

00:13:34.600 And then obviously

00:13:35.520 you can, you know,

00:13:36.160 take that into consideration then.

00:13:38.840 I make a point.

00:13:39.900 Just to play the devil's advocate,

00:13:41.940 I agree with everything

00:13:42.760 you guys are saying.

00:13:44.100 I think with this particular sister

00:13:45.620 from the text message,

00:13:47.460 there was a part that you said,

00:13:48.700 she said,

00:13:49.380 she said they were right.

00:13:52.760 So I get the impression

00:13:53.940 that that sister's

00:13:54.880 most probably divorced

00:13:56.500 and she's had a really bad marriage

00:13:59.020 and whatever it is.

00:14:00.500 So she's using her own

00:14:01.860 personal negative experience

00:14:03.580 and projecting it

00:14:04.520 onto that sister.

00:14:05.820 As opposed to,

00:14:06.980 from my perspective,

00:14:08.480 I don't think it's jealousy

00:14:09.360 might not be the root of it.

00:14:10.520 It might be just someone

00:14:11.880 who's had a very negative experience

00:14:14.000 and is just trying

00:14:14.720 to warn her friend,

00:14:15.700 not to say

00:14:16.340 that's an appropriate advice

00:14:18.160 at all because ultimately

00:14:19.840 what her advice should be

00:14:21.500 is positive

00:14:22.400 and being affirmative

00:14:24.020 and make dua,

00:14:25.320 inshallah,

00:14:25.640 do what's right

00:14:26.240 and that kind of thing.

00:14:27.000 So generally the advice

00:14:28.100 I would say is completely wrong

00:14:29.120 and the married sister 0.92

00:14:30.720 should now realise,

00:14:32.160 like the other sister said,

00:14:33.100 there's a time

00:14:34.500 and a place

00:14:35.040 where certain friends

00:14:36.200 you hold on to.

00:14:37.340 So if you're still single,

00:14:39.000 I guess there's things

00:14:40.180 that you can relate to

00:14:41.020 and that friendship

00:14:41.620 is valuable

00:14:42.200 but if you're now married

00:14:43.540 and your friend

00:14:45.520 is either divorced

00:14:46.420 and you as an individual,

00:14:48.080 you know what,

00:14:48.480 she's been through

00:14:48.920 a really bad marriage,

00:14:50.240 I want to avoid anything

00:14:51.980 because I might be influenced

00:14:53.000 by that

00:14:53.520 or just simply because

00:14:55.140 just simply because

00:14:57.200 I would never thought

00:14:57.880 a sister would buzz 0.99

00:14:58.580 or simply because

00:15:00.780 it could be that

00:15:02.340 she's not married now 0.87

00:15:05.100 so she won't really

00:15:05.920 add any value

00:15:07.080 to your relationship

00:15:08.020 so therefore

00:15:08.980 you wouldn't really

00:15:09.860 give her the airtime 1.00

00:15:11.420 for any advice

00:15:12.960 on marriage.

00:15:13.860 But I thought

00:15:14.180 I'd just come from that

00:15:14.880 angle.

00:15:15.360 By the text message,

00:15:16.500 it seems like

00:15:17.180 someone that's been

00:15:18.080 through a bad patch

00:15:18.800 and is just projecting

00:15:19.600 the negative.

00:15:19.880 That's interesting,

00:15:20.640 very balanced.

00:15:21.180 May Allah bless you.

00:15:21.640 Sister,

00:15:22.780 Ira,

00:15:23.340 you pressed it

00:15:23.820 for one and a half minutes.

00:15:24.920 Okay,

00:15:25.180 I respect everything

00:15:26.520 that you've said,

00:15:27.340 however,

00:15:28.380 there's something

00:15:28.800 that we're doing here.

00:15:29.860 We are categorizing

00:15:30.820 all single women

00:15:31.760 into one

00:15:32.420 and divorced women 0.66

00:15:33.560 also into that.

00:15:34.700 Just because she is single 0.95

00:15:35.720 does not mean

00:15:36.200 she's a bad friend.

00:15:37.440 I for one am a divorcee

00:15:38.620 and I'm also single

00:15:39.500 but I,

00:15:40.240 Allah,

00:15:40.480 will never give

00:15:41.200 any bad advice

00:15:41.900 to any sister

00:15:42.940 and I've been through

00:15:43.940 my fair share of trauma

00:15:44.900 but I've healed

00:15:45.760 from that trauma

00:15:46.340 and I will make sure

00:15:47.240 to do everything I can

00:15:48.980 that that sister 0.93

00:15:49.500 does not do anything

00:15:50.720 that I did wrong

00:15:52.080 or that I learned

00:15:53.140 from that.

00:15:53.660 So it's not whether

00:15:54.520 she is single

00:15:55.360 or whether she is divorced

00:15:56.460 it's women in general. 1.00

00:15:58.800 That's the issue here.

00:16:00.140 I think women crave 1.00

00:16:01.020 that drama.

00:16:01.720 They love that authority

00:16:02.600 and power

00:16:03.240 and of course

00:16:03.760 social media

00:16:04.240 has a massive role

00:16:05.220 to play in this

00:16:05.800 but it does not,

00:16:07.340 I'm sorry,

00:16:07.980 nobody can ever say

00:16:09.100 that it's single women 1.00

00:16:10.120 therefore you cannot

00:16:10.840 have single women friends

00:16:12.040 because my friend

00:16:12.580 when I was married

00:16:13.300 she was single

00:16:14.160 and she so many times

00:16:16.380 saved my marriage.

00:16:17.540 It still broke

00:16:18.100 so that's a different story

00:16:19.500 but she saved

00:16:20.520 my marriage from breaking

00:16:21.340 simply because she was single.

00:16:22.300 So you might not

00:16:23.880 have the knowledge

00:16:24.540 but it comes down

00:16:25.500 to how wise you are

00:16:26.420 how much of the sunnah

00:16:27.240 and the Quran

00:16:27.560 that you know

00:16:28.180 how much of good

00:16:29.100 principles and values

00:16:29.940 you are

00:16:30.320 and honestly

00:16:31.060 like how clean

00:16:31.880 your heart is

00:16:32.620 because you might

00:16:33.640 not have experience

00:16:34.280 but if you can like

00:16:35.420 mentally put yourself

00:16:36.440 in that position

00:16:37.180 and be like

00:16:37.480 okay what would I do here

00:16:38.900 that's really saying

00:16:40.420 something about a person

00:16:41.220 and that's something

00:16:41.860 that a quality

00:16:42.560 we don't see in women 1.00

00:16:43.400 these days.

00:16:44.360 Am I allowed to respond?

00:16:45.080 Yeah please

00:16:46.440 by the way

00:16:47.240 you have

00:16:48.300 we're going to go

00:16:48.940 to the second

00:16:49.440 you have the buses

00:16:50.520 by the way

00:16:51.040 so you can use it

00:16:52.160 one time

00:16:52.540 so if you ever

00:16:53.180 bye bye

00:16:54.200 I'm not sure

00:16:56.380 what we're disagreeing on

00:16:57.220 because what I'm saying

00:16:58.900 is regarding

00:16:59.760 the single sister 0.73

00:17:01.280 about divorce basically

00:17:02.460 yeah

00:17:02.780 because he just

00:17:03.920 had to cry

00:17:04.420 I could go to you

00:17:05.780 you know

00:17:06.740 there's a problem

00:17:07.360 with you

00:17:07.860 especially as women

00:17:08.940 and I also second

00:17:09.820 but in the context

00:17:10.500 of that sister

00:17:11.300 and her toll

00:17:12.120 but we don't know

00:17:12.680 that she's divorced

00:17:13.280 because that was

00:17:14.180 a speculation

00:17:14.580 there was something

00:17:15.400 there that she said

00:17:16.140 we speculated

00:17:16.760 that she's now

00:17:17.480 she's divorced 0.99

00:17:18.420 she's gone through

00:17:19.120 a trauma

00:17:19.420 she's not healed

00:17:20.300 we made some

00:17:20.760 very negative

00:17:21.460 remarks like that

00:17:22.200 and if they're divorced

00:17:22.920 they have no rights

00:17:23.680 to speak or say

00:17:24.400 and you have to be

00:17:25.020 in a long term marriage

00:17:26.100 which is successful

00:17:27.000 which I know

00:17:27.660 a lot of long term marriages

00:17:28.780 are not actually

00:17:30.920 that fulfilled

00:17:31.520 because I actually

00:17:32.120 coached them

00:17:32.680 so at the end of the day

00:17:33.780 we have to be very careful

00:17:35.040 when we're trying

00:17:35.640 to judge divorcees

00:17:37.240 and it's not always

00:17:38.360 the woman's fault 1.00

00:17:39.320 at the end of the day

00:17:40.300 but if you were divorced

00:17:42.140 and you went through

00:17:42.740 a really bad trauma

00:17:43.940 I am in that situation

00:17:45.040 and I was in that situation

00:17:46.240 and I've studied

00:17:46.920 for the last seven years

00:17:48.220 to actually heal

00:17:49.820 and help others

00:17:50.940 and also educate myself

00:17:52.760 so there's a difference

00:17:53.960 so I'm not saying

00:17:54.720 that divorcees 1.00

00:17:55.280 shouldn't give advice

00:17:56.160 I'm trying to see the balance

00:17:59.860 on both of these sides

00:18:00.820 okay you have valid points

00:18:02.040 you have valid points

00:18:02.560 we cannot come and say

00:18:03.320 for example

00:18:03.820 that divorced sisters

00:18:05.080 for some reason

00:18:05.600 they have this like

00:18:06.920 lurgy or whatever

00:18:07.520 it might be

00:18:07.920 exactly

00:18:08.600 yeah yeah yeah

00:18:09.340 whatever

00:18:09.500 it always happens

00:18:13.780 with the women

00:18:14.220 though

00:18:14.400 it's not the women 0.99

00:18:16.220 in high school

00:18:17.840 they do that

00:18:18.620 so the thing is

00:18:19.400 you run away from it

00:18:20.360 it's the lurgy monster

00:18:20.920 so the thing is

00:18:21.800 that's not the case

00:18:22.760 you know

00:18:22.980 alhamdulillah

00:18:23.340 like divorced sisters 0.98

00:18:24.280 who like you guys said

00:18:25.400 you healed etc

00:18:26.340 but she has a point

00:18:27.720 in the context of

00:18:28.520 you talked about

00:18:29.440 being healed

00:18:30.260 well and good

00:18:31.240 but sometimes

00:18:32.440 before that process

00:18:33.620 sometimes there can be

00:18:34.360 bitterness

00:18:34.640 you can be hurt

00:18:35.200 and by the way

00:18:35.760 this can be with men as well

00:18:36.580 there can be a man

00:18:37.180 and by the way

00:18:37.880 the red pill movement

00:18:39.020 there's a movement

00:18:40.520 called MGTOW

00:18:41.320 men going their own way

00:18:43.740 that's what it's called

00:18:44.320 the MGTOW

00:18:45.000 okay 0.89

00:18:45.420 and these are toxic men

00:18:47.280 who have had bad experiences

00:18:48.260 and are like

00:18:48.780 we're warning

00:18:49.460 and this is the reason

00:18:50.160 why they come with this

00:18:50.860 you know

00:18:51.320 I've even bought a book

00:18:53.260 actually

00:18:54.280 Myron's got actually

00:18:55.120 why women deserve less 1.00

00:18:56.760 yeah

00:18:56.980 okay

00:18:57.500 so Myron

00:18:58.020 I don't need

00:18:59.800 everything else

00:19:00.360 he says

00:19:00.580 there's a lot of valid points

00:19:01.360 but he actually

00:19:02.280 his book is called

00:19:02.780 why women deserve less 1.00

00:19:03.960 so a lot of the time

00:19:04.980 maybe certain traumas

00:19:06.240 they may have triggered this

00:19:07.180 there's a lot of facts

00:19:08.020 in the book

00:19:08.440 not totally

00:19:09.140 but the point is

00:19:10.140 is she wrong

00:19:11.340 for saying that

00:19:12.260 maybe the sister

00:19:14.060 has had a divorce

00:19:15.160 had a bad divorce

00:19:16.120 and she is projecting

00:19:17.620 yeah

00:19:18.760 but it could also be

00:19:19.500 maybe she's had

00:19:20.060 a very bad childhood

00:19:20.940 maybe it's got nothing

00:19:21.840 to do with the divorce

00:19:22.580 but we speculate

00:19:23.320 we've just jumped the gun here

00:19:24.300 that's what I'm saying

00:19:24.920 cannot do that

00:19:25.960 no I said that

00:19:27.140 because she said

00:19:27.960 something

00:19:29.180 if I heard her

00:19:30.320 she said they

00:19:31.200 they warned me

00:19:32.600 they were right

00:19:33.260 something along that

00:19:34.120 we don't know

00:19:34.580 as Ali said

00:19:35.260 it could be aliens

00:19:36.240 okay okay

00:19:36.980 okay

00:19:37.440 we don't know

00:19:38.280 it's definitely not aliens

00:19:39.600 but the thing is

00:19:40.340 that

00:19:40.760 that means it could be

00:19:41.860 Illuminati

00:19:42.340 it can be

00:19:43.520 yes

00:19:43.680 okay so I'm gonna

00:19:45.060 I'm gonna just

00:19:45.560 get back on the topic

00:19:46.440 I'm gonna go through

00:19:47.380 the message

00:19:47.720 if I'm not mistaken

00:19:48.540 this might

00:19:49.460 no no no no

00:19:50.100 no no no

00:19:50.680 no no

00:19:50.860 no

00:19:52.000 no

00:19:52.360 no

00:19:52.680 myself

00:19:53.080 I'm gonna read it myself

00:19:54.220 I'm gonna see

00:19:55.180 if it's a married couple

00:19:56.480 I'm gonna see

00:19:57.340 if this comes from

00:19:57.900 married couples

00:19:58.400 because if I'm not mistaken

00:19:59.300 she refers to

00:20:00.740 these people

00:20:01.580 who are married

00:20:02.380 who are married

00:20:03.880 and they

00:20:04.880 they are the ones

00:20:05.440 who are warning her

00:20:06.220 that their husbands

00:20:06.920 have changed

00:20:07.360 or something like that

00:20:08.000 so maybe it's not

00:20:08.720 from a divorcee

00:20:09.360 but it's from a

00:20:09.920 married sisters

00:20:11.180 who are telling

00:20:11.660 this sister

00:20:12.380 to tell her friend

00:20:13.560 that when we

00:20:14.560 gave intimacy

00:20:15.660 early on

00:20:16.340 this is what happened

00:20:16.920 which is absolutely nonsense

00:20:17.720 but anyway

00:20:18.520 the men have been quiet

00:20:19.340 brothers

00:20:19.920 bro it doesn't matter

00:20:21.300 if she's married 1.00

00:20:21.940 the fools to whatever 1.00

00:20:22.760 it's just a principle 1.00

00:20:23.840 I don't know why

00:20:24.800 we're trying to

00:20:25.280 categorise it like

00:20:26.020 maybe she's married 0.97

00:20:27.020 maybe she's not

00:20:27.640 who cares

00:20:28.040 don't mind

00:20:28.520 it's bad advice

00:20:29.940 bad advice

00:20:30.520 it's bad advice

00:20:31.120 whether she's married

00:20:31.940 or not

00:20:32.140 it doesn't matter

00:20:32.700 first and foremost

00:20:34.340 I felt like

00:20:35.860 everyone should be

00:20:36.500 changing their energy

00:20:37.200 and actually

00:20:37.600 thinking how

00:20:38.580 bad this is

00:20:40.040 for the brother

00:20:40.540 no one's actually

00:20:41.540 thought about this brother

00:20:42.260 now imagine this brother

00:20:43.120 I think I've done this

00:20:43.740 last time

00:20:44.260 this guy

00:20:46.780 let's just say

00:20:47.660 he's in London

00:20:48.280 right

00:20:48.960 where the

00:20:50.460 rates of living

00:20:51.700 are sky high

00:20:52.620 and have rocketed it up

00:20:53.740 right

00:20:54.380 and now

00:20:55.220 you've tried to

00:20:55.860 you can't do anything

00:20:57.580 illegal to make money

00:20:58.560 mashallah

00:20:59.280 because we're on a

00:20:59.860 halal straight path 0.72

00:21:01.060 now these are things

00:21:01.760 we've got to consider

00:21:02.340 I do a lot of youth work

00:21:03.260 and a lot of brothers

00:21:03.880 get called simps

00:21:05.880 have you seen that video

00:21:06.720 that really annoyed me

00:21:07.600 by the way

00:21:07.980 get called simps

00:21:08.820 for not being able

00:21:09.340 to provide

00:21:09.840 so brothers

00:21:10.620 left the road life

00:21:11.520 which is very easy

00:21:12.260 for him to do

00:21:12.780 for example

00:21:13.360 let's say he goes

00:21:14.340 and works a halal job

00:21:15.240 he saved up

00:21:16.480 all that money

00:21:17.540 when he didn't

00:21:18.400 really necessarily

00:21:19.000 have to

00:21:19.600 yeah to protect

00:21:21.400 himself from haram

00:21:22.080 he's gone out

00:21:22.660 of his way

00:21:23.160 to go and meet

00:21:23.960 his wives

00:21:25.620 his current wives

00:21:26.420 family and father

00:21:27.400 not necessarily

00:21:28.500 an easy process

00:21:29.760 for anyone

00:21:30.520 that's been married

00:21:31.120 it's not really easy

00:21:31.960 is it

00:21:32.280 it's very challenging

00:21:33.520 especially if you've

00:21:34.260 got a father

00:21:34.720 that's going to grill you

00:21:35.520 and ask you about

00:21:36.200 your record

00:21:36.700 and where you've

00:21:37.220 come from

00:21:37.600 and about your childhood

00:21:38.380 it might be quite

00:21:39.340 triggering

00:21:39.680 he's gone through

00:21:40.300 all of these barriers

00:21:41.700 green light

00:21:42.820 green light

00:21:43.280 green light

00:21:43.700 he might have had

00:21:44.100 a few red lights

00:21:45.000 here and there

00:21:45.360 green light

00:21:45.760 green light

00:21:46.120 he's finally

00:21:47.640 now paid down

00:21:48.740 how much is it

00:21:49.280 9k

00:21:50.060 9k worth of gold

00:21:51.560 12k

00:21:52.660 yeah

00:21:52.900 12,000 pounds

00:21:54.440 yeah

00:21:54.760 quick mass

00:21:56.100 yeah

00:21:57.040 quick mass

00:21:57.580 and then what

00:21:58.740 for grand in cash

00:22:00.600 okay

00:22:01.700 and then

00:22:02.240 and then he done

00:22:03.220 the William

00:22:03.560 okay

00:22:04.480 and his brother's

00:22:06.320 here

00:22:06.580 and his lovely

00:22:08.120 wife is there

00:22:08.700 and then she's

00:22:09.160 got a friend

00:22:09.580 that's messaging

00:22:10.160 these types

00:22:10.720 of advice

00:22:11.160 here

00:22:11.340 this is crazy

00:22:12.340 now I know

00:22:13.540 people are probably

00:22:14.040 thinking what's

00:22:14.760 the point

00:22:15.100 the point is

00:22:15.860 imagine if the

00:22:17.280 wife done what 1.00

00:22:18.160 many women do 1.00

00:22:18.920 do

00:22:19.160 and men do

00:22:19.780 of take your

00:22:20.520 friend's vice

00:22:21.340 imagine she was 0.69

00:22:22.240 like you know

00:22:22.600 what for real

00:22:23.140 I'm gonna make

00:22:24.180 him wait

00:22:24.660 oh my god

00:22:25.880 this is how

00:22:27.840 like you said

00:22:28.720 this is how

00:22:29.380 my runs are born

00:22:30.120 this is how

00:22:31.180 like red pill

00:22:32.640 movements are born

00:22:33.640 bro

00:22:33.940 people keep

00:22:34.920 saying

00:22:35.320 you know

00:22:36.300 you just need

00:22:36.840 to be your

00:22:37.240 own person

00:22:37.680 and be a role

00:22:38.160 model and not

00:22:38.600 let life

00:22:39.240 change you

00:22:40.060 life can

00:22:41.040 change you

00:22:41.540 I'm gonna be

00:22:42.120 I'm gonna be

00:22:42.480 real

00:22:42.700 if I went

00:22:43.380 through that

00:22:43.740 experience

00:22:44.220 I saved up

00:22:45.180 nine bags

00:22:45.640 or whatever

00:22:46.360 in the same

00:22:46.940 scenario as

00:22:47.740 that brother

00:22:48.120 and then my

00:22:49.660 wife was 0.99

00:22:50.720 refusing

00:22:51.200 to you know

00:22:52.820 to consummate

00:22:53.560 the marriage

00:22:53.980 with me

00:22:54.320 this might

00:22:55.180 just trigger

00:22:55.920 something

00:22:56.260 I'm just gonna

00:22:56.660 say you know

00:22:57.060 what I am

00:22:57.780 this is why

00:22:58.320 a lot of

00:22:58.600 brothers do

00:22:58.940 this I'm

00:22:59.340 never getting

00:22:59.720 married again

00:23:00.240 if I do

00:23:01.360 find a woman 0.75

00:23:02.000 I'm not gonna

00:23:02.540 treat her like 0.99

00:23:03.040 this print

00:23:03.440 like I treated

00:23:03.960 this girl like

00:23:04.480 a princess

00:23:04.820 I'm not gonna

00:23:05.260 bother

00:23:05.480 I'm not gonna

00:23:06.680 go and speak

00:23:07.140 to Hawani

00:23:07.740 I'm not saying

00:23:08.180 I'm gonna do

00:23:08.560 this by the way

00:23:09.100 but it's a 0.99

00:23:10.100 it's a fool 1.00

00:23:10.660 that can easily 1.00

00:23:11.320 slip into the

00:23:12.020 mind

00:23:12.220 nobody

00:23:13.300 no human

00:23:14.020 likes hardship

00:23:15.020 no one likes

00:23:15.920 hardships

00:23:16.260 and now it's

00:23:16.780 like he's

00:23:17.060 thinking

00:23:17.300 well I went

00:23:18.260 and done it

00:23:18.660 the right way

00:23:19.240 and it never

00:23:19.900 worked out

00:23:20.600 so I might as

00:23:21.040 well do it

00:23:21.280 the wrong way

00:23:21.700 and actually

00:23:22.460 get something

00:23:22.980 out of it

00:23:23.480 so my point

00:23:25.820 here was

00:23:26.320 basically

00:23:27.800 poor brother

00:23:28.640 and secondly

00:23:29.780 no it's

00:23:30.880 poor brother

00:23:31.380 and secondly

00:23:32.600 just

00:23:32.920 bro I have

00:23:35.300 friends that I

00:23:36.280 will not take

00:23:36.820 advice from

00:23:37.320 with anything

00:23:37.840 in my life

00:23:38.360 and I've got

00:23:38.760 friends that I

00:23:39.260 will take

00:23:39.600 advice from

00:23:40.060 whether they're

00:23:40.800 married or not

00:23:41.660 like the sister

00:23:42.400 said bad

00:23:42.960 advice is bad

00:23:43.720 advice

00:23:44.100 so clearly

00:23:46.060 clearly this

00:23:47.520 this advice

00:23:49.520 is bad

00:23:49.960 I don't think

00:23:51.200 it stems down

00:23:51.820 to the title

00:23:52.360 of this podcast

00:23:53.160 should married

00:23:53.960 people or

00:23:54.520 should married

00:23:54.940 women have 0.95

00:23:55.780 single friends

00:23:56.440 you can have

00:23:57.420 as much

00:23:57.780 single friends

00:23:58.340 as you want

00:23:58.780 I don't think

00:23:59.480 they should be

00:23:59.920 able to

00:24:00.800 sidetrack you

00:24:01.740 from fulfilling

00:24:02.560 your rights

00:24:03.100 as a woman

00:24:03.600 I personally

00:24:07.560 think

00:24:08.060 it's a question

00:24:09.660 as well

00:24:10.160 although I

00:24:11.000 personally think

00:24:11.700 that

00:24:12.100 yes people

00:24:14.260 can't

00:24:14.620 whether it's

00:24:14.940 a man or

00:24:15.300 a woman 0.57

00:24:15.520 you can have

00:24:16.000 single friends

00:24:16.520 that's absolutely

00:24:17.160 fine

00:24:17.560 you're allowed

00:24:18.660 to have friends

00:24:19.160 you can't tell

00:24:19.560 your wife

00:24:19.820 we can't have

00:24:20.340 friends

00:24:20.660 I know people

00:24:21.860 have experienced

00:24:22.400 that with their

00:24:22.840 parents

00:24:23.240 they've said

00:24:24.480 my mum

00:24:25.580 my dad said

00:24:27.040 that my mum

00:24:27.480 can't have any

00:24:27.960 friends

00:24:28.200 and she can't

00:24:28.720 go out of

00:24:29.020 so and so

00:24:29.440 who are you

00:24:29.940 going to talk

00:24:30.280 to if you

00:24:30.600 don't have

00:24:30.820 friends

00:24:31.060 other than

00:24:31.420 your husband

00:24:31.740 you can't

00:24:32.160 talk to your

00:24:32.480 husband

00:24:32.640 about everything

00:24:33.260 so you've

00:24:34.380 got to have

00:24:34.680 friends

00:24:34.840 you can have

00:24:35.860 friends

00:24:36.080 this is my

00:24:37.060 question

00:24:37.400 of course

00:24:38.680 good friends

00:24:39.140 but this is

00:24:39.480 my question

00:24:39.980 and a statement

00:24:41.560 at the same

00:24:41.980 time

00:24:42.260 I don't think

00:24:43.400 you should have

00:24:44.620 anyone involved

00:24:45.340 in your marriage

00:24:45.880 regardless

00:24:46.360 whether it's

00:24:47.340 your friend

00:24:47.720 your mum

00:24:48.140 your dad

00:24:48.540 your brother

00:24:48.900 your cousin

00:24:49.320 I don't think

00:24:49.840 anyone should

00:24:50.320 have an opinion

00:24:50.820 on your marriage

00:24:51.380 because it's

00:24:52.060 your marriage

00:24:52.700 it's no one

00:24:53.280 else's marriage

00:24:53.780 it's your

00:24:54.120 marriage

00:24:54.520 so if I

00:24:55.760 you know

00:24:56.940 inshallah

00:24:58.080 I get married

00:24:58.720 next year

00:24:59.100 I want to get

00:24:59.440 married next year

00:25:00.160 my missus

00:25:01.280 she was catholic

00:25:01.900 before she became

00:25:03.660 muslim

00:25:03.980 so we got engaged

00:25:04.780 right now

00:25:05.620 we're not ready

00:25:06.500 to get married

00:25:07.020 but next year

00:25:07.900 you mean

00:25:08.280 what does that

00:25:10.780 mean

00:25:10.980 not yet

00:25:13.300 not yet

00:25:13.580 she is muslim

00:25:15.800 or not

00:25:16.120 she is muslim

00:25:16.700 even if she's a

00:25:17.480 christian

00:25:17.680 you can marry

00:25:18.460 from them

00:25:18.900 do you have

00:25:19.960 nikah bro

00:25:20.360 I can't as well

00:25:21.220 you hear that

00:25:22.040 yeah

00:25:22.180 you can marry

00:25:23.640 they can't

00:25:24.940 but you can

00:25:25.720 oh you're muslim

00:25:27.580 do you have

00:25:28.180 nikah

00:25:28.500 of course

00:25:29.000 you're a muslim 1.00

00:25:29.560 no no

00:25:30.160 I know she's muslim

00:25:32.040 too

00:25:32.200 I'm saying

00:25:32.980 if you could

00:25:33.340 yeah

00:25:34.260 perfect

00:25:38.760 thank you

00:25:40.920 I appreciate

00:25:41.400 that

00:25:41.780 but yeah

00:25:43.020 no

00:25:43.240 I don't think

00:25:44.100 going on my point

00:25:45.440 married

00:25:46.420 what not

00:25:46.820 and someone

00:25:47.200 comes up to me

00:25:47.720 and says

00:25:47.900 Mick

00:25:48.160 you know what

00:25:48.900 you know

00:25:49.340 I don't

00:25:49.700 I don't think

00:25:50.420 I don't think

00:25:51.240 you should do this

00:25:51.660 I don't think

00:25:52.040 you should do that

00:25:52.540 I'm just going to

00:25:53.280 ignore you bro

00:25:53.820 because at the end

00:25:54.580 of the day

00:25:54.980 you may mean well

00:25:56.600 but it's my marriage

00:25:57.740 you don't know

00:25:58.280 what goes on

00:25:58.740 behind closed doors

00:25:59.380 you don't know

00:25:59.920 what we talk about

00:26:00.560 you don't know

00:26:00.980 the troubles

00:26:01.800 and stuff

00:26:03.280 that we've gone

00:26:03.780 through together

00:26:04.300 in recent years

00:26:06.180 whatever it is

00:26:06.780 and you've come to me

00:26:07.580 and said

00:26:07.900 oh Mick

00:26:08.560 you know

00:26:08.760 I don't think

00:26:09.140 you should do this

00:26:09.580 how do you know

00:26:10.380 true

00:26:10.740 but Michael

00:26:11.620 do men do that

00:26:13.300 let's be with ourselves

00:26:14.540 do men

00:26:15.280 yes

00:26:15.840 I have to disagree

00:26:16.920 I have personal

00:26:18.940 sorry to cut you off

00:26:19.720 I have personal experience

00:26:21.640 with people

00:26:23.760 not coming up to me

00:26:24.720 but watching

00:26:25.440 watching brothers

00:26:26.420 behind closed doors

00:26:27.560 yeah

00:26:28.240 having like a snaky

00:26:30.200 sort of like

00:26:31.260 view on things

00:26:32.200 I thought

00:26:32.560 or looking at a brother

00:26:33.880 what intentions

00:26:34.660 bad intentions

00:26:36.020 like in what

00:26:36.560 we're talking about

00:26:37.060 here

00:26:37.160 we're talking about

00:26:37.680 to break up

00:26:38.400 your relationship

00:26:38.820 because

00:26:39.040 are you talking about

00:26:39.740 it may not be

00:26:40.560 it may not be

00:26:41.480 to break up

00:26:42.240 non-Muslim 0.74

00:26:42.760 I come from that

00:26:44.860 sort of background

00:26:46.080 similar in Jahiliya

00:26:47.080 but the dynamics

00:26:47.680 are different

00:26:48.040 imagine the Muslim 1.00

00:26:49.320 circles

00:26:50.020 do we get

00:26:51.920 brothers

00:26:52.440 like I'll be honest

00:26:53.220 I don't ever remember

00:26:54.160 going to any of my friends

00:26:55.040 and like

00:26:55.400 yeah listen

00:26:56.100 if your wife

00:26:56.780 we don't go into that

00:26:58.280 but I still as if

00:26:58.880 that's what they were nodding

00:26:59.720 they were all nodding

00:27:00.280 nah

00:27:00.660 actually nah you're right

00:27:02.040 nah okay

00:27:02.540 fine you're right

00:27:03.180 nah you're right

00:27:03.800 you're right

00:27:04.520 nah you're right

00:27:05.220 yeah trust me

00:27:07.020 yeah I think the reason

00:27:07.900 you won't

00:27:08.220 so to cut off

00:27:08.700 I think the reason

00:27:09.380 you won't find out

00:27:10.060 among Muslims 0.95

00:27:10.600 is because

00:27:11.240 you know the ladies 1.00

00:27:12.720 they have

00:27:13.140 they have modesty

00:27:14.140 they cover up

00:27:14.720 and what not

00:27:15.140 a lot of the men

00:27:16.020 they can't

00:27:16.480 you know

00:27:16.660 they have nothing

00:27:17.280 to allow

00:27:18.280 they're all embarrassed

00:27:19.020 to look forward to

00:27:19.440 I feel embarrassed

00:27:20.300 as a man

00:27:21.100 to talk about it

00:27:21.900 to talk about your wife

00:27:22.860 bro do you know

00:27:23.340 of course

00:27:23.540 it's disrespectful that

00:27:24.380 why are you thinking about her

00:27:26.040 why is she

00:27:26.420 no bro 1.00

00:27:26.980 the ass they'll be 1.00

00:27:27.880 they'll be in fight 1.00

00:27:28.540 they'll be killing 0.79

00:27:29.080 there's people that die 0.92

00:27:29.940 of course

00:27:30.140 there's not a

00:27:31.380 come on bro

00:27:32.140 trust me

00:27:33.100 I'm talking about

00:27:37.040 this sister done it 0.92

00:27:38.640 in the terminal

00:27:39.140 which most Muslims do 0.99

00:27:40.120 I'm just giving you

00:27:40.900 advice inshallah

00:27:41.580 it's not nice advice

00:27:42.920 but I'm just saying

00:27:43.660 any brothers here

00:27:45.460 I don't feel like

00:27:46.600 neither of us

00:27:47.620 would go to one another

00:27:48.620 and say Aki look

00:27:49.300 this is what you've got

00:27:50.800 to do in your marriage

00:27:51.420 I don't know about 0.99

00:27:52.120 killing them 1.00

00:27:52.480 but it's really rude 1.00

00:27:53.700 what's the word

00:27:55.040 what I mean is

00:27:57.760 if somebody has

00:27:58.460 the audacity

00:27:59.000 to come to me

00:27:59.640 and start saying

00:28:00.080 listen yeah

00:28:00.900 in a certain way

00:28:02.040 I would say

00:28:02.360 firstly why are you

00:28:03.380 crossing your boundaries

00:28:04.180 now you need to

00:28:04.920 understand bro

00:28:05.300 there's two ways

00:28:05.980 that can go

00:28:06.420 yeah

00:28:06.660 bro

00:28:07.280 please don't talk

00:28:08.220 to my wife again

00:28:08.760 and he's going to say

00:28:09.240 but why this time

00:28:10.060 bro I just

00:28:10.700 ask you nice

00:28:11.340 nah bro you're

00:28:11.920 talking to me

00:28:12.180 like that

00:28:12.380 yeah I'm

00:28:12.560 talking to you

00:28:12.820 like it can

00:28:13.460 escalate with men

00:28:14.020 bro bro

00:28:14.340 it can turn

00:28:14.740 from something

00:28:15.080 like this

00:28:15.480 to drive-bys

00:28:17.020 nobody should do it

00:28:18.420 but I'm just saying

00:28:18.900 going back to the

00:28:20.560 where do you live

00:28:21.340 this ain't top

00:28:22.000 where you know

00:28:22.500 bro

00:28:22.680 it's always when I'm

00:28:26.720 here as well

00:28:27.320 because when I'm

00:28:27.900 not here

00:28:28.320 he loves it

00:28:32.040 he loves it

00:28:32.360 all right

00:28:33.540 cool

00:28:33.740 you got your

00:28:35.180 side kicked

00:28:35.580 the back

00:28:35.860 all right

00:28:37.380 so the thing is

00:28:38.840 first and foremost

00:28:39.920 it's very important

00:28:40.920 for us to understand

00:28:41.800 the Prophet

00:28:42.260 said to the

00:28:43.280 nearest million

00:28:43.700 that we should

00:28:44.460 seek religious

00:28:45.600 knowledge

00:28:46.000 everybody should be

00:28:47.340 armed with the

00:28:48.320 basics of

00:28:49.260 Islam

00:28:49.760 should be

00:28:50.400 armed with the

00:28:50.980 basics of

00:28:51.500 marriage

00:28:51.820 there are

00:28:52.380 countries like

00:28:52.960 Indonesia

00:28:53.420 that actually

00:28:53.900 make you do

00:28:54.340 a course

00:28:54.720 before you get

00:28:55.300 married

00:28:55.620 yeah

00:28:56.380 so over here

00:28:57.580 it's very important

00:29:00.820 that a person

00:29:01.460 that's getting

00:29:01.860 married

00:29:02.160 you are going

00:29:03.100 just like

00:29:03.700 when you're at

00:29:04.320 work

00:29:04.620 there's always

00:29:05.760 going to be

00:29:06.100 people giving

00:29:06.600 you differences

00:29:07.140 different views

00:29:08.560 different opinions

00:29:09.400 wrong opinions

00:29:10.160 good opinions

00:29:10.780 you need to be

00:29:11.880 armed with the

00:29:12.560 absolute basics

00:29:13.320 before jumping

00:29:14.100 into a relationship

00:29:14.900 in which you

00:29:15.600 are now responsible

00:29:16.460 for another adult

00:29:17.500 for another person

00:29:18.720 yeah

00:29:19.280 and your actions

00:29:20.280 can affect that

00:29:21.520 person for the

00:29:22.420 rest of their

00:29:22.900 lives

00:29:23.180 so it's incredibly

00:29:24.440 important that you

00:29:25.320 know that if

00:29:26.280 you're getting

00:29:26.640 bad advice

00:29:27.320 that firstly

00:29:28.000 you're able to

00:29:29.320 discern if that's

00:29:30.060 good or bad

00:29:31.140 advice

00:29:31.560 and number two

00:29:32.720 you seek

00:29:33.440 shura and shura

00:29:34.140 is something

00:29:34.520 that's talked

00:29:35.000 to us in the

00:29:35.540 Quran which is

00:29:36.220 you don't just

00:29:36.740 ask one person

00:29:37.720 yeah you ask

00:29:38.800 a few people

00:29:39.460 and they need

00:29:40.100 to have certain

00:29:40.880 criteria as well

00:29:42.420 number one

00:29:42.820 they need to

00:29:43.300 know about

00:29:43.660 what you're

00:29:44.200 talking about

00:29:44.800 for example

00:29:45.400 if you're

00:29:46.020 talking about

00:29:46.300 marriage

00:29:46.660 they if

00:29:47.460 they've got

00:29:47.920 maybe some

00:29:48.600 ilim of

00:29:49.360 psychology or

00:29:50.340 counseling or

00:29:50.980 whatnot

00:29:51.200 they're good

00:29:51.980 and they need

00:29:52.520 to have a basic

00:29:53.240 understanding of

00:29:53.960 the religion

00:29:54.420 that's preferable

00:29:56.000 otherwise

00:29:56.640 you know

00:29:57.400 things can go

00:29:58.580 here and there

00:29:59.300 so they need

00:29:59.960 to have some

00:30:00.560 fear of

00:30:01.040 Allah

00:30:01.280 secondly

00:30:02.860 having a

00:30:04.280 single friend

00:30:04.940 it's like

00:30:05.380 saying can a

00:30:06.100 teacher ask

00:30:06.880 advice from

00:30:07.400 somebody that's

00:30:07.900 not a teacher

00:30:08.360 of course

00:30:09.180 they can

00:30:09.620 is that

00:30:10.360 advice going

00:30:10.900 to be

00:30:11.100 informed

00:30:11.500 is it

00:30:11.780 going to

00:30:11.900 be valid

00:30:12.240 it depends

00:30:12.760 what you're

00:30:13.140 asking for

00:30:13.680 are you

00:30:13.900 asking from

00:30:14.320 a psychological

00:30:14.820 point of

00:30:15.320 view or

00:30:15.520 something

00:30:15.760 if you're

00:30:16.060 just asking

00:30:16.480 someone who's

00:30:16.900 a jahil

00:30:17.240 for advice

00:30:17.820 then you're 1.00

00:30:18.560 an idiot 1.00

00:30:18.860 frankly 1.00

00:30:19.200 you shouldn't

00:30:20.220 be asking

00:30:20.620 a jahil

00:30:21.040 sorry I

00:30:21.860 looked at

00:30:22.140 you when I 1.00

00:30:22.820 said idiot 1.00

00:30:23.220 it's okay 1.00

00:30:24.580 it's okay

00:30:25.220 so in that

00:30:29.540 super sense

00:30:30.040 I mean

00:30:30.420 you should

00:30:31.220 have

00:30:31.440 sense

00:30:32.520 yourself

00:30:32.820 as well

00:30:33.320 and you

00:30:33.900 shouldn't

00:30:34.140 really be

00:30:34.580 seeking

00:30:34.940 advice from

00:30:35.960 people that

00:30:36.920 don't really

00:30:37.580 know

00:30:37.780 but having

00:30:38.360 a single

00:30:38.780 friend

00:30:39.100 one thing

00:30:39.640 I would

00:30:39.900 say that

00:30:40.380 somebody

00:30:40.820 actually accused

00:30:41.400 me of this

00:30:41.860 as well

00:30:42.180 anytime I

00:30:42.700 gave advice

00:30:43.180 that person

00:30:43.640 was saying

00:30:43.980 oh you're

00:30:44.800 single

00:30:45.240 oh you don't

00:30:45.800 know but

00:30:46.180 you don't

00:30:46.820 have to be

00:30:47.120 a drummer

00:30:47.460 to know

00:30:47.780 what a

00:30:47.980 drum kit

00:30:48.320 is

00:30:48.600 yeah

00:30:49.020 you can

00:30:49.700 sometimes

00:30:50.220 give an

00:30:50.920 out of the

00:30:51.680 box

00:30:52.020 view

00:30:52.800 and non-biased

00:30:54.200 view that

00:30:54.660 people in

00:30:55.180 marriage or

00:30:55.680 people that

00:30:56.100 institutionize

00:30:57.020 they would be

00:30:57.680 thinking in a

00:30:58.260 certain way

00:30:58.740 but you being

00:30:59.760 a single

00:31:00.160 person can

00:31:00.740 see things

00:31:01.500 from a

00:31:01.880 different angle

00:31:02.440 and it's up

00:31:03.380 to that

00:31:03.740 person to

00:31:04.280 discern if

00:31:04.760 that advice

00:31:05.280 is useful

00:31:06.280 is creative

00:31:07.720 or is it

00:31:08.280 destructive

00:31:08.740 for me

00:31:09.220 Aki it

00:31:09.940 doesn't sound

00:31:10.420 like that

00:31:10.700 sister even

00:31:11.240 asks for

00:31:11.680 advice

00:31:12.040 it sounded

00:31:12.880 like this

00:31:13.300 is what I'm

00:31:13.560 saying

00:31:13.720 what I

00:31:14.280 want to

00:31:14.580 ask you

00:31:14.880 do you

00:31:15.760 work a lot

00:31:16.160 in the

00:31:16.360 Muslim

00:31:16.520 community

00:31:16.920 because it

00:31:17.420 comes

00:31:17.580 across like

00:31:17.940 you do

00:31:18.240 both of

00:31:20.940 you

00:31:21.040 why do

00:31:22.540 Muslims

00:31:23.160 I'm talking

00:31:23.760 like I'm

00:31:24.040 not Muslim 0.99

00:31:24.420 but I'm

00:31:24.720 just not

00:31:24.960 in that

00:31:25.200 world

00:31:25.480 feel it

00:31:26.500 so

00:31:26.900 obligatory

00:31:27.740 just to

00:31:28.160 give advice

00:31:28.700 that wasn't

00:31:29.080 asked for

00:31:30.620 sometimes

00:31:35.180 all the

00:31:37.940 time

00:31:38.280 have to

00:31:39.120 ram your

00:31:39.520 advice

00:31:39.880 down

00:31:40.100 sometimes 1.00

00:31:40.500 shut up 0.82

00:31:41.100 that's 0.98

00:31:41.580 actually

00:31:41.760 a good

00:31:42.020 point

00:31:42.300 that's

00:31:43.840 a good

00:31:44.080 point

00:31:44.360 because

00:31:44.640 sometimes

00:31:45.180 it's

00:31:45.840 like

00:31:46.100 the

00:31:46.420 advice

00:31:46.860 that

00:31:47.200 is in

00:31:47.700 marriage

00:31:47.980 books

00:31:48.340 and that's

00:31:48.780 given to

00:31:49.140 men

00:31:49.360 and the

00:31:50.300 advice

00:31:50.660 is that

00:31:51.120 when your

00:31:51.660 wife

00:31:52.160 or a

00:31:53.880 woman 0.99

00:31:54.100 like your

00:31:54.500 mother or

00:31:54.900 sister is

00:31:55.360 talking to

00:31:55.860 you

00:31:56.080 sometimes

00:31:56.860 they're not

00:31:57.700 really looking

00:31:58.220 for advice

00:31:58.840 they just

00:32:00.040 want to talk

00:32:00.700 they just

00:32:01.320 want to get

00:32:01.740 out

00:32:02.080 and they're

00:32:02.720 not looking

00:32:03.080 for logic

00:32:03.540 understandably

00:32:05.300 men are

00:32:05.640 very logical

00:32:06.320 we're very

00:32:07.240 kind of

00:32:07.600 systematic

00:32:08.100 women 1.00

00:32:08.680 tend to be

00:32:10.240 emotional

00:32:10.840 they don't

00:32:11.780 tend to be

00:32:12.460 very rational

00:32:13.180 and methodical

00:32:14.040 like men 0.69

00:32:14.560 so sometimes

00:32:15.420 they just

00:32:15.900 no no no

00:32:16.980 this is

00:32:17.400 standard

00:32:17.800 yeah

00:32:18.620 it's pretty

00:32:19.380 standard

00:32:19.720 stuff

00:32:19.960 yeah

00:32:20.700 so

00:32:20.980 the thing

00:32:21.540 over here

00:32:22.100 well I lost my train

00:32:23.280 thanks a lot

00:32:24.820 yeah so

00:32:26.480 yeah so

00:32:27.280 it's not like

00:32:28.040 giving advice

00:32:29.300 sometimes

00:32:29.960 doesn't necessarily

00:32:30.840 have to be

00:32:31.680 telling that

00:32:32.500 person what to

00:32:33.200 do

00:32:33.360 it could just

00:32:33.960 be listening

00:32:34.640 and it could

00:32:35.500 just be

00:32:35.860 nodding along

00:32:36.560 and saying

00:32:36.920 you know what

00:32:37.300 you've had a

00:32:37.720 very hard day

00:32:38.380 and this and

00:32:38.900 that

00:32:39.040 you know what

00:32:39.460 should we do

00:32:40.000 this or should

00:32:40.440 we do that

00:32:40.900 like cognitive

00:32:41.700 behavioral therapy

00:32:42.660 and stuff like

00:32:43.120 that

00:32:43.240 is sometimes

00:32:43.820 getting the

00:32:44.360 person

00:32:44.740 to just

00:32:45.580 talk

00:32:46.140 and just

00:32:46.700 maneuvering

00:32:47.540 the person

00:32:48.140 around what

00:32:48.800 they're going

00:32:49.260 through

00:32:49.520 so they can

00:32:50.420 reach a

00:32:50.940 solution by

00:32:51.480 themselves

00:32:51.880 and a

00:32:53.040 sensible

00:32:54.080 Muslim

00:32:54.540 brother

00:32:54.820 if he's

00:32:55.140 speaking to

00:32:55.460 another

00:32:55.740 Muslim

00:32:56.020 brother 0.76

00:32:56.220 he should

00:32:57.020 know

00:32:57.500 how you

00:32:58.640 are

00:32:59.000 and then

00:32:59.900 like he

00:33:00.880 should know

00:33:01.440 a bit

00:33:01.900 about you

00:33:02.440 and then

00:33:03.500 mold that

00:33:04.920 advice around

00:33:05.860 your temperament

00:33:06.580 if he's just

00:33:07.320 telling you

00:33:07.780 and you don't

00:33:08.180 like being told

00:33:08.740 what to do

00:33:09.160 and he's just

00:33:09.560 telling you

00:33:09.920 yeah you don't

00:33:10.520 like being told

00:33:11.320 what to do

00:33:11.680 yeah don't do

00:33:12.300 this and don't

00:33:12.780 do that

00:33:13.080 that brother

00:33:13.740 is not

00:33:14.280 very kind

00:33:14.940 of clued

00:33:15.340 on

00:33:15.540 he needs

00:33:16.500 to do

00:33:16.920 it in a

00:33:17.380 more catered

00:33:18.440 way

00:33:18.680 if he's

00:33:19.660 not able

00:33:20.260 to do

00:33:20.620 that and

00:33:21.020 that brother

00:33:21.360 is really 0.55

00:33:21.680 peeing you

00:33:22.060 off then

00:33:22.380 maybe you

00:33:23.380 know find

00:33:23.980 a brother

00:33:24.280 that is more

00:33:24.760 kind of

00:33:25.080 understanding

00:33:25.740 to kind

00:33:26.400 of your

00:33:26.640 energy

00:33:26.980 a lot

00:33:27.420 a lot

00:33:27.440 a lot

00:33:27.540 a lot

00:33:27.560 of people

00:33:27.820 don't

00:33:28.080 know

00:33:28.240 how to

00:33:28.660 vet

00:33:28.860 for that

00:33:29.260 because

00:33:29.500 I

00:33:29.800 am

00:33:30.120 a

00:33:30.440 cognitive

00:33:30.880 behavioral

00:33:31.320 therapist

00:33:31.820 I do

00:33:32.300 NLP

00:33:32.760 I'm doing

00:33:33.400 my

00:33:33.540 masters

00:33:33.800 in

00:33:34.020 neuroscience

00:33:34.340 and

00:33:34.680 psychology

00:33:36.020 of mental

00:33:37.040 health

00:33:37.420 I have been

00:33:38.100 studying

00:33:38.400 human mind

00:33:39.860 and behavior

00:33:40.240 for the last

00:33:40.720 seven years

00:33:41.360 non-stop

00:33:41.960 and at the end

00:33:43.060 of the day

00:33:43.500 we don't

00:33:44.380 give advice

00:33:45.020 as a

00:33:45.500 professional

00:33:45.860 we give

00:33:46.260 guidance

00:33:46.640 like you

00:33:47.000 mentioned

00:33:47.360 and secondly

00:33:48.380 it is a

00:33:49.040 problem

00:33:49.280 amongst

00:33:49.700 the women 0.97

00:33:50.180 Muslim

00:33:50.900 women 1.00

00:33:51.300 do talk

00:33:52.160 to their

00:33:52.480 friends

00:33:52.820 about

00:33:53.400 personal

00:33:53.860 issues

00:33:54.280 that they

00:33:54.920 shouldn't

00:33:55.440 that's

00:33:55.960 something

00:33:56.160 I can

00:33:56.480 definitely

00:33:56.780 say

00:33:57.140 and they

00:33:57.940 also

00:33:58.260 talk

00:33:58.660 about

00:33:59.300 their

00:34:00.320 marital

00:34:00.760 issues

00:34:01.180 a lot

00:34:01.660 whether

00:34:02.300 it's

00:34:02.560 their

00:34:02.720 girlfriends

00:34:03.080 whether

00:34:03.620 it's

00:34:03.940 their

00:34:04.120 sisters

00:34:04.540 and

00:34:05.080 things

00:34:05.340 like

00:34:05.520 that

00:34:05.700 and

00:34:05.820 I

00:34:06.060 don't

00:34:06.360 think

00:34:06.720 that

00:34:07.080 that

00:34:07.280 is

00:34:07.620 actually

00:34:08.240 for

00:34:08.840 their

00:34:09.080 benefit

00:34:09.480 because

00:34:09.880 they're

00:34:10.120 not

00:34:10.300 getting

00:34:10.700 the

00:34:11.200 right

00:34:11.460 sort

00:34:11.680 of

00:34:11.780 feedback

00:34:12.160 it

00:34:12.820 is

00:34:12.960 projection

00:34:13.440 a lot

00:34:13.760 of

00:34:13.840 the

00:34:13.940 times

00:34:14.320 it

00:34:14.480 is

00:34:14.580 from

00:34:14.740 someone's

00:34:15.120 own

00:34:15.420 sort

00:34:15.700 of

00:34:15.800 experience

00:34:16.380 and

00:34:17.440 that's

00:34:17.900 probably

00:34:18.080 a negative

00:34:18.500 one

00:34:18.820 because

00:34:18.960 I hear

00:34:19.520 it

00:34:19.720 and I

00:34:20.000 see

00:34:20.300 it

00:34:20.460 and then

00:34:20.660 when

00:34:20.760 someone

00:34:20.920 comes

00:34:21.140 to me

00:34:21.560 even

00:34:21.980 as a

00:34:22.280 friend

00:34:22.500 or a

00:34:22.760 client

00:34:23.040 and I'm

00:34:23.300 like

00:34:23.460 listen

00:34:23.740 you

00:34:24.280 did

00:34:24.460 not

00:34:24.620 go

00:34:24.800 that

00:34:25.000 way

00:34:25.260 or

00:34:25.800 they've

00:34:26.180 come

00:34:26.360 to me

00:34:26.660 after

00:34:26.920 they've

00:34:27.160 taken

00:34:27.460 that

00:34:27.680 advice

00:34:28.000 and

00:34:28.160 they've

00:34:28.320 gone

00:34:28.460 completely

00:34:29.220 the

00:34:29.860 opposite

00:34:30.180 direction

00:34:30.660 of what

00:34:31.000 they

00:34:31.180 entail

00:34:41.200 ships

00:34:41.500 and

00:34:41.860 they

00:34:42.000 shouldn't

00:34:42.420 that's

00:34:43.180 a

00:34:43.400 very

00:34:43.660 good

00:34:43.860 point

00:34:44.140 and

00:34:44.460 it's

00:34:44.760 good

00:34:44.880 you

00:34:45.040 brought

00:34:45.280 it

00:34:45.420 up

00:34:45.560 otherwise

00:34:45.840 we

00:34:46.060 probably

00:34:46.300 wouldn't

00:34:46.580 have

00:34:46.720 brought

00:34:46.880 it

00:34:47.000 up

00:34:47.140 because

00:34:47.680 yeah

00:34:48.220 because

00:34:48.540 that's

00:34:48.900 it's

00:34:49.300 a

00:34:49.420 different

00:34:49.640 topic

00:34:50.000 but

00:34:50.200 because

00:34:50.460 we've

00:34:50.720 started

00:34:50.980 it

00:34:51.240 like

00:34:52.180 the

00:34:52.340 brother

00:34:52.520 kind

00:34:52.840 of

00:34:53.000 alluded

00:34:53.380 to

00:34:53.620 as

00:34:53.820 well

00:34:54.020 the

00:34:54.340 thing

00:34:54.540 is

00:34:54.760 you

00:34:55.340 know

00:34:55.880 your

00:34:56.100 husband

00:34:56.460 and

00:34:56.740 your

00:34:56.900 husband

00:34:57.160 knows

00:34:57.520 you

00:34:57.760 so

00:34:58.340 when

00:34:58.700 you

00:34:59.280 will

00:34:59.700 talk

00:35:00.020 about

00:35:00.240 your

00:35:00.420 issue

00:35:00.840 most

00:35:01.860 often

00:35:02.540 statistically

00:35:03.600 speaking

00:35:04.280 and

00:35:04.760 even

00:35:05.000 psychologically

00:35:05.520 speaking

00:35:06.080 you're

00:35:06.540 going

00:35:06.800 to be

00:35:07.220 putting

00:35:07.840 yourself

00:35:09.120 and

00:35:09.820 bigging

00:35:10.180 yourself

00:35:10.640 up

00:35:10.900 and

00:35:11.160 putting

00:35:11.400 that

00:35:11.620 person

00:35:11.960 down

00:35:12.240 more

00:35:12.700 so

00:35:12.980 and

00:35:13.460 yeah

00:35:14.100 and

00:35:14.380 the

00:35:14.580 thing

00:35:14.800 with

00:35:15.020 that

00:35:15.240 is

00:35:15.440 you're

00:35:15.660 not

00:35:15.840 really

00:35:16.300 giving

00:35:16.660 a

00:35:16.960 complete

00:35:17.600 kind

00:35:17.960 of

00:35:18.100 picture

00:35:18.380 and

00:35:18.880 this

00:35:19.040 is

00:35:19.160 what

00:35:19.300 they

00:35:19.460 say

00:35:19.600 to

00:35:19.760 teachers

00:35:20.160 and

00:35:20.440 that's

00:35:20.760 what

00:35:20.880 they

00:35:21.080 say

00:35:21.280 to

00:35:21.440 a

00:35:21.620 sensible

00:35:22.040 mediator

00:35:22.660 as

00:35:22.880 well

00:35:23.020 always

00:35:23.720 and

00:35:24.000 please

00:35:24.340 I

00:35:24.520 cannot

00:35:24.780 emphasize

00:35:25.460 this

00:35:25.780 enough

00:35:26.140 no matter

00:35:27.120 how

00:35:27.340 bad

00:35:27.600 it

00:35:27.780 sounds

00:35:28.060 please

00:35:28.700 please

00:35:29.300 listen

00:35:30.180 to

00:35:30.440 both

00:35:30.820 sides

00:35:31.200 even

00:35:32.080 if

00:35:32.500 it's

00:35:32.780 really

00:35:33.200 bad

00:35:33.560 it's

00:35:33.820 really

00:35:34.140 terrible

00:35:34.620 do

00:35:35.240 not

00:35:35.700 please

00:35:36.440 do

00:35:36.700 not

00:35:37.060 advise

00:35:37.600 them

00:35:37.900 and

00:35:38.360 start

00:35:38.780 telling

00:35:39.120 them

00:35:39.400 to

00:35:39.720 cut

00:35:39.980 it 0.99

00:35:40.120 off

00:35:40.400 yeah

00:35:41.060 if

00:35:41.360 a

00:35:41.700 person

00:35:42.120 has

00:35:42.760 not

00:35:43.000 heard

00:35:43.260 both

00:35:43.560 sides

00:35:43.940 and

00:35:44.340 they

00:35:44.500 are

00:35:44.660 telling

00:35:44.920 you

00:35:45.120 to

00:35:45.300 leave

00:35:45.540 that

00:35:45.720 person

00:35:46.140 you

00:35:46.680 leave

00:35:46.980 that

00:35:47.200 person

00:35:47.600 yeah

00:35:48.260 because

00:35:48.620 that's

00:35:49.000 not

00:35:49.380 what

00:35:49.600 we

00:35:49.800 should

00:35:49.980 be

00:35:50.140 hearing

00:35:50.400 at

00:35:50.580 the

00:35:50.700 moment

00:35:50.920 we

00:35:51.440 need

00:35:51.720 to

00:35:51.820 be

00:35:51.980 hearing

00:35:52.240 people

00:35:52.620 that

00:35:52.820 will

00:35:52.980 delve

00:35:53.300 deeper

00:35:53.760 and

00:35:54.320 that

00:35:54.540 will

00:36:00.180 know

00:36:00.420 how

00:36:00.600 well

00:36:00.920 the

00:36:01.080 person

00:36:01.340 can

00:36:01.540 communicate

00:36:02.020 so

00:36:02.460 they

00:36:02.640 might

00:36:02.920 be

00:36:03.120 missing

00:36:03.580 certain

00:36:03.960 facts

00:36:04.240 out

00:36:04.480 they

00:36:04.620 might

00:36:04.800 be

00:36:05.000 not

00:36:05.500 good

00:36:05.680 at

00:36:05.800 articulating

00:36:06.440 there

00:36:06.920 might

00:36:07.160 be

00:36:07.340 other

00:36:07.600 issues

00:36:07.940 that

00:36:08.140 that

00:36:08.340 person

00:36:08.680 has

00:36:08.900 missed

00:36:09.240 out

00:36:09.600 because

00:36:10.440 it's

00:36:10.800 going

00:36:10.900 to

00:36:11.040 embarrass

00:36:11.420 them

00:36:11.720 so

00:36:12.320 when

00:36:12.720 you

00:36:13.020 speak

00:36:13.320 to

00:36:13.480 somebody

00:36:13.820 else

00:36:14.180 again

00:36:15.560 don't

00:36:15.960 speak

00:36:16.240 to

00:36:16.400 just

00:36:16.660 any

00:36:17.040 old

00:36:17.360 individual

00:36:17.880 go

00:36:18.200 to

00:36:18.380 a

00:36:18.560 mediator

00:36:19.080 in

00:36:19.280 which

00:36:19.440 both

00:36:19.800 of

00:36:19.920 you

00:36:20.000 can

00:36:20.140 sit

00:36:20.300 on

00:36:20.420 the

00:36:20.520 table

00:36:20.800 and

00:36:21.320 both

00:36:21.640 the

00:36:22.020 thing

00:36:22.500 I

00:36:23.160 understand

00:36:23.620 you're

00:36:24.220 talking

00:36:24.420 about

00:36:24.680 a couple

00:36:25.040 going

00:36:25.240 through

00:36:25.380 issues

00:36:25.700 bro

00:36:25.980 she's

00:36:26.200 not

00:36:26.320 going

00:36:26.460 through

00:36:26.580 no

00:36:26.740 issues

00:36:27.020 bro

00:36:27.340 you're

00:36:27.840 dealing

00:36:28.000 with

00:36:28.140 someone

00:36:28.340 I

00:36:52.500 what

00:36:53.060 you're

00:36:53.220 saying

00:36:53.360 is

00:36:53.500 for

00:36:53.720 couples

00:36:54.180 who

00:36:55.120 are

00:36:55.200 going

00:36:55.340 through

00:36:55.520 madness

00:36:55.860 they're

00:36:56.820 just

00:36:56.960 newly

00:36:57.260 married

00:36:57.680 bro

00:36:58.720 that

00:36:58.940 to

00:36:59.100 me

00:36:59.200 is

00:36:59.360 very

00:36:59.660 very

00:37:00.040 achievable

00:37:01.140 it's

00:37:01.740 very

00:37:01.960 strange

00:37:02.560 that

00:37:03.120 number

00:37:03.360 one

00:37:03.540 she

00:37:03.640 didn't

00:37:03.820 ask

00:37:04.180 number

00:37:05.060 two

00:37:05.460 as if

00:37:06.300 your

00:37:06.420 nose

00:37:06.620 you

00:37:06.720 even

00:37:06.980 know

00:37:07.140 they

00:37:07.280 just

00:37:07.400 got

00:37:07.520 married

00:37:07.740 now

00:37:08.020 and

00:37:08.940 you

00:37:09.480 message

00:37:09.720 and

00:37:10.060 imagine

00:37:10.380 how

00:37:10.640 specific

00:37:11.380 you

00:37:11.540 must

00:37:11.660 be

00:37:11.820 it's

00:37:11.920 like

00:37:12.020 James

00:37:12.220 Bond

00:37:12.460 bro

00:37:12.640 it's

00:37:12.960 like

00:37:13.140 now

00:37:13.560 you

00:37:13.840 know

00:37:13.940 they're

00:37:14.120 going

00:37:14.240 to

00:37:14.440 their

00:37:14.620 hotel

00:37:14.960 but

00:37:22.500 no

00:37:22.860 you

00:37:23.040 have

00:37:23.220 to

00:37:23.320 take

00:37:23.520 accountability

00:37:24.040 that

00:37:24.520 person

00:37:26.540 has

00:37:26.820 invited

00:37:27.320 that

00:37:27.580 friend

00:37:27.800 into

00:37:28.200 that

00:37:28.760 conversation

00:37:29.220 by

00:37:29.460 telling

00:37:29.800 them

00:37:30.080 she's

00:37:30.440 way

00:37:30.600 too

00:37:30.780 comfortable

00:37:31.220 you

00:37:31.700 let

00:37:32.340 your

00:37:32.540 friend

00:37:32.740 get

00:37:32.920 way

00:37:33.120 too

00:37:33.340 comfortable

00:37:33.740 intimate

00:37:34.180 in

00:37:34.380 a

00:37:34.460 relationship

00:37:34.860 she

00:37:35.520 said

00:37:35.720 this

00:37:35.860 sister

00:37:36.020 was

00:37:36.140 on

00:37:36.280 point

00:37:36.460 if it

00:37:36.720 was

00:37:36.820 somebody

00:37:37.640 else's

00:37:38.000 wife

00:37:38.260 it

00:37:38.720 would

00:37:38.840 have

00:37:38.940 been

00:37:39.120 peak

00:37:40.080 this

00:37:40.800 sister

00:37:41.240 she

00:37:41.480 goes

00:37:41.700 I

00:37:42.460 fear

00:37:42.740 Allah

00:37:43.040 regarding

00:37:43.380 my

00:37:43.580 husband

00:37:43.880 I'm

00:37:44.180 not

00:37:44.300 going

00:37:44.400 to

00:37:44.460 oppress

00:37:44.680 him

00:37:44.800 at

00:37:45.340 least

00:37:45.540 she's

00:37:45.720 on

00:37:45.940 point

00:37:46.240 imagine

00:37:46.800 there

00:37:46.940 was

00:37:47.000 another

00:37:47.160 sister

00:37:47.380 I'm

00:37:47.540 going

00:37:47.640 oh my

00:37:49.200 gosh

00:37:49.380 maybe

00:37:49.620 he's

00:37:49.780 plotting

00:37:50.080 can you

00:37:50.720 imagine

00:37:51.140 how you

00:37:51.820 ruined

00:37:52.160 their

00:37:52.340 first

00:37:52.660 night

00:37:52.980 when

00:37:53.480 they're

00:37:53.660 there

00:37:53.780 and

00:37:53.860 she's

00:37:54.000 thinking

00:37:54.120 in the

00:37:54.320 back

00:37:54.460 of

00:37:54.560 her

00:37:54.640 head 0.81

00:37:54.840 is 0.75

00:37:55.600 this

00:37:55.720 guy

00:37:55.840 going

00:37:56.040 to

00:37:56.180 use

00:37:56.400 me

00:37:56.560 and

00:37:56.700 just

00:37:56.840 leave

00:37:57.060 me

00:37:57.280 or

00:37:57.620 why is

00:37:58.740 that

00:37:58.880 message

00:37:59.180 even

00:37:59.400 happening

00:37:59.740 at

00:37:59.900 that

00:38:00.040 that's

00:38:00.260 what I'm

00:38:00.540 saying

00:38:00.860 that's

00:38:01.640 the point

00:38:02.000 there is

00:38:03.820 no boundaries

00:38:04.300 but the point

00:38:05.080 is that

00:38:05.800 can you

00:38:06.280 imagine

00:38:06.780 that how

00:38:07.800 psychologically

00:38:08.460 we already

00:38:08.900 have

00:38:09.040 shaitan

00:38:09.380 giving us

00:38:09.920 I don't

00:38:10.680 need

00:38:10.820 another 0.97

00:38:11.080 human

00:38:11.440 shaitan

00:38:11.900 yeah

00:38:12.340 from the

00:38:12.740 human

00:38:12.860 shaitan

00:38:13.260 already

00:38:13.660 got

00:38:13.820 dealing

00:38:14.440 with

00:38:14.940 this

00:38:15.100 and

00:38:15.220 that

00:38:15.400 and

00:38:15.680 then

00:38:15.820 you've

00:38:15.960 got

00:38:16.060 somebody

00:38:16.400 else

00:38:16.600 who's

00:38:16.780 supposed

00:38:17.020 to be

00:38:17.200 a friend

00:38:17.560 telling you

00:38:18.220 be careful

00:38:18.920 to your

00:38:19.260 husband

00:38:20.560 bro that

00:38:21.280 to me

00:38:21.600 is

00:38:21.700 terrible 0.91

00:38:22.240 Ali

00:38:22.300 what would

00:38:23.280 happen

00:38:23.640 if somebody

00:38:25.580 told the

00:38:26.200 man

00:38:26.440 his friend

00:38:27.380 told him

00:38:28.020 if somebody

00:38:29.280 told him

00:38:29.840 don't give

00:38:30.460 love to

00:38:32.140 your missus

00:38:32.640 bro

00:38:33.060 there would be

00:38:33.860 world war 2

00:38:34.360 but 0.53

00:38:35.700 sex to a 0.99

00:38:37.380 man 0.98

00:38:37.640 is love

00:38:39.100 yes

00:38:39.680 so

00:38:40.300 when you

00:38:40.920 take

00:38:41.200 when you're

00:38:41.700 taking away

00:38:42.240 that love

00:38:42.860 you're taking

00:38:43.480 away an

00:38:43.900 integral part

00:38:44.840 of that

00:38:45.060 relationship

00:38:45.540 in fact

00:38:46.120 it's

00:38:46.480 and we're

00:38:46.900 going to

00:38:47.000 talk about

00:38:47.280 this on

00:38:47.560 another

00:38:47.800 show

00:38:48.080 on another

00:38:48.980 episode

00:38:49.380 hopefully

00:38:49.800 but 0.99

00:38:50.400 sex to a 0.99

00:38:51.320 man 0.92

00:38:51.500 is

00:38:51.800 something

00:38:52.320 that

00:38:52.600 number

00:38:52.960 one

00:38:53.200 it's

00:38:54.340 been

00:38:54.560 bastardized

00:38:55.400 it's

00:38:56.160 been

00:38:56.320 bastardized 0.71

00:38:56.940 and

00:38:57.180 it means

00:38:59.000 sorry I

00:39:00.160 looked at

00:39:00.420 you again

00:39:00.760 when I

00:39:01.040 said that

00:39:01.340 Ali

00:39:01.540 by the way

00:39:05.580 don't beep

00:39:07.300 down

00:39:07.680 was it

00:39:08.080 just a

00:39:09.520 disclaimer

00:39:09.920 me and

00:39:11.300 Nishan

00:39:11.500 have a

00:39:11.740 very

00:39:11.920 friendship

00:39:12.600 no

00:39:13.360 everybody

00:39:14.680 could have

00:39:15.000 this kind

00:39:15.280 of friendship

00:39:15.760 since we're

00:39:16.400 talking about

00:39:16.800 friendship

00:39:17.200 this is very

00:39:17.920 unique

00:39:18.240 so we're

00:39:19.220 okay with

00:39:19.600 that

00:39:19.720 what does

00:39:20.740 the word

00:39:21.000 mean

00:39:21.120 bastardized

00:39:21.700 means

00:39:21.980 when you've

00:39:24.480 turned that

00:39:25.040 word into

00:39:25.760 like a swear

00:39:26.800 word

00:39:27.160 like a 0.99

00:39:27.460 disgusting

00:39:27.920 sort of

00:39:28.400 thing

00:39:28.600 but

00:39:29.260 the way

00:39:30.320 it is

00:39:30.680 that's a

00:39:31.340 biological

00:39:31.820 imperative

00:39:32.460 to a man

00:39:32.940 it's one of

00:39:33.440 the strongest

00:39:33.900 forces on

00:39:34.640 the planet

00:39:35.020 and if it's

00:39:35.620 and if

00:39:36.600 it has not

00:39:38.620 been kind of

00:39:39.320 dealt with

00:39:39.720 and answered

00:39:40.220 and done the

00:39:40.760 correct way

00:39:41.300 it can cause

00:39:42.120 chaos on the

00:39:42.740 planet

00:39:42.980 and the thing

00:39:44.180 is that

00:39:44.620 this is love

00:39:45.560 to a man

00:39:45.980 if he is

00:39:47.180 showing his

00:39:48.300 newlywed wife

00:39:49.980 love and

00:39:50.600 affection

00:39:50.940 and she's

00:39:51.640 saying

00:39:51.800 no thanks

00:39:52.880 not gonna

00:39:54.140 do it

00:39:54.460 frankly

00:39:54.840 ew

00:39:55.460 and that sort

00:39:56.280 of stuff

00:39:56.560 bro that's

00:39:57.220 mad

00:39:57.540 to a man

00:39:58.600 bro that's

00:39:59.660 people

00:39:59.800 and that's

00:40:01.340 that's why

00:40:01.860 no but that's

00:40:02.300 why in

00:40:02.540 islam

00:40:02.920 that's why

00:40:03.660 in islam

00:40:04.200 bro the

00:40:04.640 maher

00:40:04.900 if the

00:40:05.260 marriage

00:40:05.500 is consummated

00:40:06.240 he takes

00:40:07.220 the maher

00:40:07.540 back

00:40:07.860 you get

00:40:08.580 it

00:40:08.740 so it

00:40:09.340 just shows

00:40:09.780 that for

00:40:10.080 example

00:40:10.400 that for

00:40:10.980 example in

00:40:11.440 islam

00:40:11.760 the fact

00:40:12.240 that the

00:40:12.400 man has

00:40:12.680 to meet

00:40:12.960 the father

00:40:13.420 speak to

00:40:14.520 them

00:40:14.720 get grilled

00:40:15.200 by them

00:40:15.680 whatever it

00:40:16.320 might be

00:40:16.660 then maher

00:40:17.440 and then

00:40:17.940 wedding

00:40:18.240 that man

00:40:19.160 is in

00:40:19.520 Allah has

00:40:19.980 put a

00:40:20.700 man in

00:40:21.020 such a

00:40:21.280 responsibility

00:40:21.660 and in

00:40:22.220 this

00:40:22.480 things that

00:40:23.540 we need

00:40:23.800 to do

00:40:23.960 this protocol

00:40:24.580 it shows

00:40:25.020 how valued

00:40:28.600 a muslim

00:40:28.940 man

00:40:29.160 i have

00:40:29.440 to go

00:40:29.640 through

00:40:29.820 all these

00:40:30.480 obstacles

00:40:30.980 bro

00:40:31.320 speak to

00:40:31.860 the dad

00:40:32.200 speak to

00:40:32.840 the brother

00:40:33.140 and then

00:40:33.760 arrange

00:40:34.220 and by the

00:40:37.200 way you

00:40:37.360 have to

00:40:37.640 announce it

00:40:38.240 it shouldn't

00:40:39.120 be hidden

00:40:39.540 we're going

00:40:40.080 to discuss

00:40:40.380 the secret

00:40:40.640 second wife

00:40:41.100 soon

00:40:41.300 that's a

00:40:41.720 different

00:40:41.840 topic

00:40:42.100 but all

00:40:43.300 of this

00:40:43.540 stuff it

00:40:43.880 just shows

00:40:44.360 how Allah

00:40:45.260 has valued

00:40:46.280 the muslim

00:40:46.720 woman to 0.98

00:40:47.400 such a

00:40:47.740 degree that

00:40:48.420 the man

00:40:48.780 has to

00:40:49.120 work hard

00:40:49.820 to get

00:40:50.720 her

00:40:50.940 and then

00:40:52.400 you've got

00:40:52.840 somebody who

00:40:53.500 has actually

00:40:54.060 done this

00:40:54.780 I'm going to

00:40:56.420 finish my

00:40:56.700 statement

00:40:57.060 who has gone

00:40:58.000 to this

00:40:58.340 level

00:40:58.640 given

00:40:58.980 Mahat

00:40:59.300 done all

00:40:59.620 of this

00:40:59.880 and then

00:41:00.560 there is

00:41:00.920 somebody

00:41:01.260 whispering

00:41:01.720 in his

00:41:02.180 wife's

00:41:02.600 ear

00:41:02.800 oh don't

00:41:04.640 but let's

00:41:05.280 talk about

00:41:05.620 serious

00:41:05.840 issues after

00:41:06.140 this

00:41:06.300 why do you

00:41:06.700 press the

00:41:06.920 puzzle

00:41:07.040 yeah

00:41:07.480 just because

00:41:08.420 I felt

00:41:08.700 like

00:41:08.880 since I'm

00:41:10.040 the host

00:41:10.400 can you

00:41:11.060 get up

00:41:11.460 so the

00:41:13.020 thing is

00:41:13.740 okay let's

00:41:16.120 let's be a bit

00:41:16.580 serious

00:41:16.780 we've been

00:41:18.660 serious

00:41:18.920 no no

00:41:20.160 I can't

00:41:20.560 get kicked

00:41:20.860 out

00:41:21.020 it's my

00:41:21.340 show

00:41:21.560 so look

00:41:22.620 there's one

00:41:23.380 thing that's

00:41:23.900 that's very

00:41:24.300 important and I

00:41:24.980 wanted to add

00:41:25.480 this in

00:41:25.920 it kind of

00:41:26.960 links to the

00:41:27.440 topic just in

00:41:27.960 case somebody's

00:41:28.540 thinking look

00:41:29.000 this is to do

00:41:29.680 with consummation

00:41:30.440 of the marriage

00:41:31.120 they've just

00:41:32.100 about got

00:41:32.900 married and

00:41:33.820 that's a big

00:41:34.580 topic in

00:41:35.040 itself like

00:41:35.720 some people

00:41:36.500 might be

00:41:36.780 thinking are

00:41:37.260 you saying

00:41:37.640 that on the

00:41:37.960 first night

00:41:38.460 marriage has

00:41:39.100 to be

00:41:39.320 consummated

00:41:39.800 and stuff

00:41:40.120 like that

00:41:40.440 yeah it's

00:41:41.620 a different

00:41:41.940 topic and

00:41:42.520 the thing

00:41:42.800 is look

00:41:43.120 that's up

00:41:43.540 to the

00:41:44.640 discretion

00:41:45.080 of both

00:41:46.020 people that

00:41:46.900 if the

00:41:47.340 marriage has

00:41:47.740 taken place

00:41:48.340 and you

00:41:49.320 know the

00:41:49.600 whole day

00:41:50.140 you guys

00:41:50.620 have just

00:41:51.000 been doing

00:41:51.600 just marriage

00:41:52.880 stuff and

00:41:53.540 dealing with

00:41:53.980 guests and

00:41:54.480 stuff like

00:41:54.840 that not to

00:41:55.920 rush it

00:41:56.980 not to

00:41:58.240 just rush

00:41:58.840 it as an

00:41:59.320 act and

00:42:00.220 if that's

00:42:00.680 something that

00:42:01.120 both of you

00:42:01.600 can agree

00:42:02.240 upon and

00:42:03.060 say look

00:42:03.540 because some

00:42:04.360 people don't

00:42:04.960 know each

00:42:05.340 other very

00:42:05.680 well like

00:42:06.140 it's an

00:42:06.400 arranged

00:42:06.680 marriage so

00:42:07.280 if you want

00:42:08.040 to take a

00:42:08.400 day or two

00:42:08.800 to just get

00:42:09.420 to know each

00:42:09.900 other or

00:42:10.300 stuff like

00:42:10.640 that then

00:42:11.220 that's

00:42:11.660 something you

00:42:12.260 can do as

00:42:12.740 well but

00:42:13.700 because it

00:42:14.180 was talking

00:42:14.640 about

00:42:14.940 but wasn't

00:42:16.060 that

00:42:16.160 it's important

00:42:16.660 to mention

00:42:17.280 in case

00:42:17.820 she's not

00:42:18.220 talking about

00:42:18.840 but wasn't

00:42:19.860 that on the

00:42:20.140 first night

00:42:20.540 though

00:42:20.740 yes but

00:42:21.480 that's not

00:42:21.780 the discussion

00:42:22.060 no no no

00:42:22.520 it's not

00:42:22.860 the discussion

00:42:23.420 but three

00:42:24.680 months you

00:42:25.080 say the

00:42:25.280 willy miss

00:42:25.540 a free

00:42:25.780 month

00:42:25.920 making

00:42:26.180 weight

00:42:26.440 yeah yeah

00:42:26.980 no no no

00:42:27.400 three months

00:42:27.960 that's

00:42:28.280 something else

00:42:29.020 but what

00:42:29.320 I'm saying

00:42:29.700 is that

00:42:30.080 this is also

00:42:31.240 part of the

00:42:31.640 discussion as

00:42:32.180 well because

00:42:32.520 we did say

00:42:33.180 that look

00:42:33.500 sex is very 0.99

00:42:33.960 important blah 0.86

00:42:34.480 blah blah 0.97

00:42:34.640 but yeah

00:42:36.040 as soon as

00:42:36.820 a person's

00:42:37.300 married there

00:42:37.980 are certain

00:42:38.520 kind of

00:42:38.900 things that

00:42:39.240 you guys

00:42:39.560 can agree

00:42:39.960 upon

00:42:40.220 the three

00:42:41.100 months

00:42:41.380 thing is 0.91

00:42:41.700 ridiculous 0.87

00:42:42.100 in fact 0.99

00:42:42.660 that message

00:42:43.340 was a parody

00:42:43.880 in itself

00:42:44.300 ours is 0.98

00:42:44.860 ridiculous bro 0.99

00:42:45.540 oh that's 0.99

00:42:46.160 how long

00:42:46.460 it took you

00:42:46.800 to read

00:42:47.060 that message

00:42:47.460 bro

00:42:47.660 can I just

00:42:49.640 add

00:42:49.840 I'm sure

00:42:50.580 there's a

00:42:50.840 hadith

00:42:51.100 it's not

00:42:51.800 coming to

00:42:52.180 me exactly

00:42:52.560 in mind

00:42:53.500 that you

00:42:54.640 should leave

00:42:55.080 married couples

00:42:55.720 alone for

00:42:56.280 three days

00:42:56.840 or something

00:42:57.480 like that

00:42:57.800 where you

00:42:58.100 don't

00:42:58.600 give them

00:42:59.180 that privacy

00:42:59.720 so if

00:43:00.580 for example

00:43:01.140 the person

00:43:01.560 given that

00:43:02.120 advice

00:43:02.620 was following

00:43:03.640 the Islamic

00:43:04.600 principle

00:43:04.980 there and

00:43:05.460 the person

00:43:05.840 receiving the

00:43:06.480 advice

00:43:06.840 reminded that

00:43:08.060 person to

00:43:08.480 say look

00:43:08.840 this is

00:43:09.220 my time

00:43:09.840 I shouldn't

00:43:10.480 be contacted

00:43:10.980 or something

00:43:11.380 like that

00:43:11.720 so I think

00:43:12.040 it also

00:43:12.300 goes down

00:43:12.740 to the

00:43:13.380 fundamentals

00:43:13.840 of knowing

00:43:14.380 the boundaries

00:43:15.200 like the

00:43:15.600 sister said

00:43:16.260 that you

00:43:16.720 know

00:43:16.920 for all

00:43:18.420 married couples

00:43:19.020 and maybe

00:43:19.360 something that

00:43:19.840 we do need

00:43:20.360 to encourage

00:43:21.300 our young

00:43:21.780 girls to 0.97

00:43:22.640 talk about

00:43:23.060 this to

00:43:23.320 their friends

00:43:23.740 approaching

00:43:24.340 marriage

00:43:24.720 that don't

00:43:25.700 you know

00:43:26.000 tell your

00:43:26.740 friends

00:43:27.020 do's and

00:43:27.560 don't

00:43:27.880 let's talk

00:43:28.600 about

00:43:28.720 solutions

00:43:29.000 my

00:43:29.340 friends got

00:43:30.240 married

00:43:30.480 recently

00:43:30.840 and I

00:43:31.060 said give

00:43:31.320 them space

00:43:31.820 you know

00:43:32.080 Islamic

00:43:32.340 human

00:43:32.580 to give

00:43:32.880 them space

00:43:33.260 and stuff

00:43:33.540 like that

00:43:33.860 so I

00:43:34.440 think just

00:43:34.800 creating that

00:43:35.660 culture

00:43:36.100 as opposed

00:43:36.820 to the

00:43:37.740 jahili culture

00:43:38.440 which is

00:43:39.000 oh my god

00:43:39.680 you know

00:43:39.920 did you do

00:43:40.260 it the first

00:43:40.780 night

00:43:41.080 and you

00:43:41.500 know

00:43:41.560 that kind

00:43:42.040 of girly

00:43:42.460 girly

00:43:42.700 relationship

00:43:43.240 that we

00:43:43.600 actually

00:43:43.880 move away

00:43:44.840 from that

00:43:45.340 and start

00:43:45.880 instilling this

00:43:46.500 in our

00:43:46.760 girls from

00:43:47.220 a young age

00:43:47.800 that don't

00:43:48.640 discuss these

00:43:49.140 kind of things

00:43:49.660 or if your

00:43:50.400 friends

00:43:50.800 daughter's

00:43:51.280 getting married

00:43:51.680 you know

00:43:52.120 someone's

00:43:52.440 getting married

00:43:52.820 make sure

00:43:53.380 you give

00:43:53.980 them that

00:43:54.220 space

00:43:54.540 don't talk

00:43:54.960 about

00:43:55.120 anything

00:43:55.340 intimacy

00:43:55.740 and you

00:43:56.240 know

00:43:56.320 just to

00:43:56.660 change the

00:43:57.300 culture

00:43:57.600 coming away

00:43:58.960 from the

00:43:59.320 jahili

00:43:59.660 we're going

00:44:02.960 to start

00:44:03.120 wrapping up

00:44:03.580 so let's

00:44:04.400 go that

00:44:04.760 way inshallah

00:44:05.340 sister

00:44:05.760 mahanur

00:44:06.260 yeah i just

00:44:06.840 wanted to

00:44:07.120 say that

00:44:07.640 intimacy

00:44:09.040 and finance

00:44:09.840 is quite

00:44:10.340 an integral

00:44:10.780 part of

00:44:11.240 marriage

00:44:11.540 and it's

00:44:11.820 also one

00:44:12.260 of the

00:44:12.520 most leading

00:44:13.180 causes of

00:44:13.680 divorces as

00:44:14.300 well unfortunately

00:44:14.840 and i think

00:44:17.380 a good way to

00:44:17.960 sum it up

00:44:18.400 is that

00:44:18.820 if your

00:44:19.820 friends are

00:44:20.340 going to

00:44:20.500 emotionally

00:44:20.800 blackmail you 0.98

00:44:21.380 by saying

00:44:21.760 that you

00:44:22.180 know if

00:44:22.380 you don't

00:44:22.560 tell us

00:44:22.840 this that

00:44:23.280 i'm going

00:44:23.520 to be

00:44:23.700 friends with

00:44:24.040 you then

00:44:24.300 you're

00:44:24.420 just with

00:44:24.640 the wrong

00:44:24.860 friends to

00:44:25.260 begin with

00:44:25.760 and also

00:44:27.200 i think

00:44:27.600 friends should

00:44:28.100 understand that

00:44:28.900 as you said

00:44:29.640 as everyone

00:44:30.040 said here

00:44:30.440 like boundaries

00:44:31.000 and friends

00:44:33.040 and also

00:44:34.760 you know when

00:44:35.060 a couple

00:44:35.320 gets married

00:44:35.800 let them 0.55

00:44:36.380 figure it

00:44:37.220 out you

00:44:37.660 know give

00:44:37.900 them space

00:44:38.320 give them

00:44:38.660 time and

00:44:39.060 they'll come

00:44:39.320 back to

00:44:39.660 you and

00:44:40.700 auntie actually

00:44:41.180 said to me

00:44:41.600 that it's

00:44:41.920 always like

00:44:42.360 when a newly

00:44:43.200 couple gets

00:44:43.720 married it's

00:44:44.160 like you're

00:44:44.760 figuring out a

00:44:45.300 new thing

00:44:45.660 it's like a

00:44:46.020 new venture

00:44:46.520 you don't know

00:44:47.380 you're figuring

00:44:47.760 out each

00:44:48.100 other each

00:44:48.660 other's

00:44:48.860 lifestyles and

00:44:50.200 also i think

00:44:51.280 it's also quite

00:44:51.720 detrimental when

00:44:52.360 people put

00:44:53.320 themselves in

00:44:53.980 other people's

00:44:54.500 shoes and think

00:44:55.020 oh because that

00:44:55.960 doesn't work for

00:44:56.640 them it hasn't

00:44:58.640 worked for me

00:44:59.040 sorry it's not

00:45:00.060 working for them

00:45:00.580 so that's wrong

00:45:01.420 that's like a red

00:45:02.000 flag but that's

00:45:02.660 not the case

00:45:03.220 because just you

00:45:04.380 know they might

00:45:04.820 have their own

00:45:05.300 understanding so

00:45:06.140 even like as we

00:45:07.340 were talking about

00:45:07.700 cooking clearly

00:45:08.180 before you know

00:45:09.800 if the husband's

00:45:10.340 happy then fine

00:45:11.100 you know it's

00:45:12.460 their marriage

00:45:12.900 whatever doesn't

00:45:13.760 matter

00:45:14.000 again to sum up i

00:45:25.740 think it's really

00:45:26.180 important that we

00:45:26.860 know how to vet

00:45:27.620 our friends and we

00:45:28.780 can have long-term

00:45:29.440 friendships but

00:45:30.040 there's a time and

00:45:30.580 place for everything

00:45:31.180 and just to

00:45:32.520 reiterate it's really

00:45:33.340 important that you

00:45:33.880 don't discuss these

00:45:34.540 certain things at

00:45:35.140 certain times and i

00:45:36.280 also would say it's

00:45:37.320 not just the person

00:45:37.960 that's giving the

00:45:38.480 advice in this

00:45:39.140 particular letter

00:45:40.420 that you read out i

00:45:41.380 think it's also the

00:45:41.960 person that's allowing

00:45:42.740 it to happen and

00:45:43.980 you know opening up

00:45:44.820 those messages in the

00:45:45.560 first place and

00:45:46.120 speaking to that

00:45:46.800 person in the in a

00:45:48.320 you know in a

00:45:49.040 moment where it

00:45:49.640 should be just

00:45:50.040 between you and

00:45:50.540 your husband anyway

00:45:51.280 so it's both that

00:45:52.340 is wrong in that

00:45:53.400 sense and i think

00:45:54.480 that we need to be

00:45:55.040 very careful because

00:45:56.740 i know a lot of

00:45:57.300 people they'll even

00:45:58.060 come and tell me

00:45:58.700 that you know a

00:45:59.300 lot of their

00:45:59.740 personal issues and

00:46:00.960 detailed stuff of

00:46:01.940 what's going on and

00:46:03.040 that is not allowed

00:46:03.800 that is not right but

00:46:05.160 that happens obviously

00:46:06.260 as a professional it's

00:46:07.480 different but even as

00:46:08.420 friends when they're

00:46:09.220 telling me that it

00:46:10.120 shouldn't be done but

00:46:11.200 it is done and it's

00:46:12.060 continuously done and

00:46:13.680 it's actually

00:46:14.180 detrimental to you

00:46:15.280 so i think the

00:46:17.420 sister summed it up

00:46:18.460 there's just three

00:46:18.960 things i want to say

00:46:19.820 and the first thing

00:46:20.540 is regardless of

00:46:21.300 who's giving you the

00:46:21.980 advice take it with a

00:46:22.780 pinch of salt it

00:46:23.960 doesn't matter who

00:46:24.480 it is whether it's

00:46:25.060 your best friend your

00:46:25.620 mom your dad

00:46:26.040 psychologist it

00:46:26.680 doesn't matter take

00:46:27.380 it with a pinch of

00:46:27.960 salt because that

00:46:28.640 person is not in your

00:46:29.660 shoes only you know

00:46:31.340 your situation the

00:46:32.780 other thing i was

00:46:33.160 going to say is

00:46:34.040 take this as a

00:46:35.660 really good reminder

00:46:36.240 an opportunity to

00:46:37.080 look at yourself to

00:46:37.840 take some take a

00:46:39.740 moment to self-reflect

00:46:40.740 what kind of friend

00:46:41.540 are you and what

00:46:42.340 kind of friends have

00:46:43.760 you got in your

00:46:44.280 circle because it's

00:46:46.220 not a case of okay

00:46:47.360 i'll drop her when i

00:46:48.460 get closer to my

00:46:49.140 marriage or after i'm

00:46:50.560 married but it's more

00:46:51.440 like look your friends

00:46:52.840 can either take you to

00:46:53.600 jahannam or they could

00:46:54.300 take you to jannah so

00:46:55.140 it's really important to

00:46:56.720 look at who it is that

00:46:58.020 is influencing your mind

00:46:58.960 on a daily basis and

00:47:00.880 to the sisters who feel

00:47:02.420 inclined to always give

00:47:03.860 advice you don't always

00:47:05.740 have to give advice

00:47:06.740 understand the cues when

00:47:07.720 someone wants advice

00:47:08.480 or when somebody wants

00:47:09.540 just just wants a

00:47:10.480 listening ear and i

00:47:12.040 think it's really

00:47:12.800 important if your

00:47:13.720 friend is coming to

00:47:14.580 you with issues where

00:47:15.580 you think okay maybe

00:47:16.720 this isn't really my

00:47:17.700 place then don't say

00:47:19.160 anything don't just

00:47:20.500 say something for the

00:47:22.300 sake of it because you

00:47:23.340 know it's going to have

00:47:24.180 consequences just learn

00:47:25.880 i think we need to

00:47:27.260 learn to stay quiet we

00:47:28.380 we can talk literally

00:47:29.620 all the time so learn

00:47:31.260 to stay quiet and know

00:47:32.580 your time and place when

00:47:33.680 it is required for you to

00:47:35.040 speak appropriately

00:47:35.760 exactly michael

00:47:37.720 just two really quick

00:47:39.480 things as a man i

00:47:41.780 wouldn't want to play

00:47:42.360 tug of war with my

00:47:43.420 wife you know going 1.00

00:47:44.300 back and forth her

00:47:45.520 friends are secretly

00:47:46.260 telling her things in

00:47:47.060 her ear i'm going to

00:47:47.660 feel like i'm playing

00:47:48.200 tug of war like with 0.50

00:47:49.460 between me and her

00:47:50.600 friend and i don't

00:47:51.720 even know it i don't

00:47:52.820 know at this point i

00:47:53.660 don't know and i'm

00:47:54.480 playing my wife you 0.59

00:47:55.340 don't know but i don't

00:47:56.160 know i don't know what's

00:47:57.140 what's being told i'm at

00:47:58.380 work i'm doing whatever

00:47:59.240 at work she's at home and

00:48:00.320 she's she's thinking

00:48:01.240 about these things that

00:48:02.040 she's been told by her

00:48:02.780 friend and i don't know

00:48:03.540 it i'm fighting wars that

00:48:04.760 i can't see i don't

00:48:05.820 know how to battle it i

00:48:06.800 i don't even know it's

00:48:07.600 there well listen can

00:48:08.960 you imagine you're

00:48:09.480 coming back from work

00:48:10.180 you're trying to

00:48:10.500 provide you love your

00:48:11.220 wife you're coming 0.91

00:48:12.060 home with these old

00:48:12.680 iblises they're only 0.89

00:48:13.460 beasts bro these are

00:48:14.560 the ones who cause

00:48:15.120 marriages to break yeah 0.95

00:48:16.080 these little sheateen 1.00

00:48:17.140 who are coming and

00:48:18.200 yeah yeah it's your

00:48:18.920 wife did your husband 1.00

00:48:19.780 do this the little

00:48:20.840 sheateen and you're

00:48:21.440 coming home you're

00:48:22.020 not even beefing your

00:48:22.620 wife bro you're beefing 1.00

00:48:23.720 her dumb friends i know 1.00

00:48:25.020 and you come home you 1.00

00:48:25.940 come home you want to

00:48:26.660 have some time with your 0.97

00:48:27.360 wife being a pack of 1.00

00:48:28.080 your wife's mind she's 1.00

00:48:29.400 thinking about the things

00:48:30.120 her friends have been

00:48:30.880 telling her that aren't

00:48:31.880 even true so now so

00:48:33.620 now your marriage will

00:48:34.480 then suffer because of

00:48:35.460 because of people that

00:48:36.380 don't actually care about

00:48:37.180 your marriage your

00:48:38.120 marriage is suffering 0.98

00:48:38.780 because of them

00:48:39.320 exactly but

00:48:40.080 but no so

00:48:42.380 all i wanted to say

00:48:44.660 was when it comes to

00:48:45.800 your friends a sister

00:48:47.180 said take it a grain of

00:48:48.360 salt it's not always

00:48:49.400 it's not always going to

00:48:50.140 be the best advice it

00:48:51.020 may be there to you

00:48:51.660 know keep you safe it

00:48:52.860 may be there because

00:48:53.360 they love you but

00:48:54.200 sometimes it isn't

00:48:55.300 always you know take

00:48:56.080 a grain of salt there

00:48:56.900 you go and the final

00:48:57.560 say for the chef you

00:48:58.980 so in in marriage

00:49:02.700 typically speaking women

00:49:04.160 value love

00:49:05.280 men value respect

00:49:06.600 and if you are

00:49:08.540 talking behind the

00:49:09.640 man's back

00:49:10.440 that yeah it's

00:49:12.040 disrespectful he

00:49:13.020 doesn't like his

00:49:13.780 business being talked

00:49:15.140 to other people and

00:49:16.120 strangers and then

00:49:17.400 like the brother said

00:49:18.240 him coming home and

00:49:19.080 having to deal with

00:49:19.840 that it's it's just

00:49:21.500 unnecessary if you

00:49:23.640 want to solve the

00:49:24.440 matter speak to the

00:49:25.640 person there's no

00:49:26.620 point speaking to

00:49:27.260 somebody else because

00:49:28.000 you guys know your

00:49:28.860 relationship better if

00:49:29.760 that person's not

00:49:30.360 communicating then

00:49:31.120 that's the issue then

00:49:32.280 that's what you need to

00:49:33.020 deal with look you're

00:49:33.620 not communicating with

00:49:34.540 me look this is what

00:49:35.220 we need to deal with

00:49:35.940 we need to take time

00:49:36.740 out then that's that's

00:49:38.200 the thing but

00:49:38.740 ultimately speaking

00:49:39.740 speaking behind his

00:49:41.160 back and if he finds

00:49:41.980 out I'm telling you

00:49:42.880 that's going to be the

00:49:44.200 cause of a big row

00:49:45.620 because he's gonna and

00:49:47.660 you might think oh it's

00:49:48.540 something small I'm just

00:49:49.340 getting someone's

00:49:49.880 opinion even they say

00:49:51.280 statistically speaking

00:49:52.280 even when there's a

00:49:53.200 breakup women tend to 1.00

00:49:54.960 speak to their friends

00:49:56.460 and get kind of support

00:49:57.860 of them men to tend to 0.93

00:49:59.720 take short-term

00:50:00.860 solutions by just kind of

00:50:02.360 drowning their sorrows or

00:50:03.460 just doing quick quick

00:50:04.540 kind of solutions so

00:50:05.800 women do tend to 1.00

00:50:06.680 communicate so so so

00:50:08.500 that's the thing just

00:50:09.160 kind of you know stare

00:50:10.620 around that especially

00:50:11.540 when you're in the kind

00:50:12.420 of marriage phase and

00:50:13.300 just understand how

00:50:14.280 important respect is to

00:50:16.420 your man and how this

00:50:17.700 can be seen as this

00:50:18.580 disrespectful that

00:50:20.040 doesn't mean that now

00:50:20.920 you don't do anything at

00:50:21.820 all like I've said I

00:50:22.980 don't want to be

00:50:23.380 misconstrued but then

00:50:24.600 if communication is the

00:50:25.560 issue then make that

00:50:26.500 and identify as I

00:50:27.620 identify that as an

00:50:28.620 issue and then that's

00:50:29.940 your starting point and

00:50:31.020 it's a matter of trust

00:50:31.840 as well yeah it's a

00:50:32.740 matter as well to keep

00:50:34.200 what you know whatever's

00:50:34.980 going on between

00:50:35.460 themselves um do you

00:50:37.520 know what's annoying I

00:50:38.160 fall I'm under pressure

00:50:39.460 so much by what I say in

00:50:40.740 the room and on the

00:50:41.600 camera my mind ends up

00:50:43.680 going blank because I'm

00:50:44.740 like I had a really good

00:50:45.480 point I'm like but I've

00:50:46.880 got to worry but I've got

00:50:47.840 the point luckily as you

00:50:49.340 interrupted right the

00:50:51.440 point was two points was

00:50:52.960 um number one I just want

00:50:55.180 to make it clear especially

00:50:56.080 for the viewers because I

00:50:56.820 heard Ali mention this

00:50:57.640 earlier most of us men

00:50:59.420 don't really get out much

00:51:00.200 I don't get out and

00:51:01.000 associated hardly any

00:51:02.100 brothers so this is why

00:51:03.000 we might have been acting

00:51:03.700 a bit boisterous or

00:51:04.480 childish so please there

00:51:05.660 was no weird free mixing

00:51:06.740 or nothing going on I

00:51:07.440 just want to make that

00:51:07.880 clear we're just being

00:51:08.860 boys unfortunately yeah

00:51:10.520 but one really important

00:51:12.660 thing and I'm not going to

00:51:13.480 go into too much detail

00:51:14.540 because it might seem a

00:51:15.380 bit inappropriate however

00:51:16.360 if we actually think about

00:51:18.060 it in practical terms that

00:51:19.360 sister that went and got

00:51:20.200 married to that brother

00:51:20.940 and I'm guessing she didn't

00:51:22.060 consume it uh consummate the

00:51:23.740 marriage right there and

00:51:24.640 then but when it was time to

00:51:27.460 actually go and do the deed

00:51:28.560 imagine how she was

00:51:30.400 thinking I guarantee that

00:51:31.960 advice from her friend was

00:51:34.340 going through her mind when

00:51:35.560 that was meant to be one of

00:51:36.360 the most blessed your sacred

00:51:38.100 pure times that she was ever

00:51:40.020 meant to experience in her

00:51:41.000 whole life and then straight

00:51:42.780 away this little what you

00:51:43.860 call her you call it a 0.92

00:51:45.120 shaitan I call it a witch 1.00

00:51:46.160 it's witch has casted her 1.00

00:51:47.940 spell not a specific sister I

00:51:49.240 would never say that yeah just

00:51:51.040 generally okay casted her

00:51:52.340 spell and when guarding

00:51:53.720 nervosa in her brain and now

00:51:55.020 she's thinking a b and c d and 0.99

00:51:57.360 yeah the evil eye evil mind

00:51:58.860 bad mind that's that and the

00:52:00.600 other thing was um I think

00:52:01.920 the sister here said it

00:52:02.940 um and it's a really good

00:52:05.300 point but I don't think you

00:52:06.320 uh stressed it enough yeah

00:52:07.880 where you said this person

00:52:10.460 might not just represent a

00:52:12.560 friend this so-called friend

00:52:14.540 here could also be uh the

00:52:17.200 mother-in-law the auntie even

00:52:19.140 your father even your friend

00:52:20.360 brother there are many

00:52:21.940 mother-in-laws that do these

00:52:23.060 types of things it might even

00:52:23.980 be your own mum bro your

00:52:25.980 own mum do you know how 1.00

00:52:26.820 many other mums have this

00:52:27.820 crazy weird obsession over

00:52:29.280 their sons getting married

00:52:30.760 this is a big issue you need

00:52:31.700 to talk about as well bro

00:52:32.640 did you yeah yeah okay yo

00:52:35.940 my show come on next time

00:52:36.820 let me talk about it no but

00:52:38.520 seriously just remember like

00:52:40.200 the sister said it's not

00:52:41.140 always just a friend it could

00:52:42.560 be anybody giving you these

00:52:44.320 like dangerous seeds of

00:52:46.100 advice that will sprout out

00:52:48.000 and be something very

00:52:48.820 negative and you have some

00:52:49.740 negative fruits in your

00:52:50.820 marriage exactly well I

00:52:52.920 amazing may Allah bless you

00:52:53.920 guys we talked about the

00:52:54.600 problem we talked about the

00:52:55.400 solutions uh we talked about

00:52:56.680 the little iblises who are 0.75

00:52:57.720 whispering um and causing

00:52:59.900 uh corruption literally in

00:53:01.400 family household we're

00:53:02.100 really under attack left

00:53:03.020 right center lgbqt we've got

00:53:05.100 flipping jeffrey marshmallows on

00:53:06.740 our case yeah and then we're

00:53:08.300 flipping dealing with uh

00:53:09.300 little shiiteans little iblisi 0.98

00:53:11.040 whatever you want to call

00:53:11.880 them yeah you've listed

00:53:12.640 yeah uh give it what's

00:53:14.680 what's up may Allah protect

00:53:15.300 us and hope you guys learned

00:53:16.360 something from the bitter truth

00:53:17.340 today inshallah and the whole

00:53:18.240 point of this show is

00:53:18.880 well may Allah bless our

00:53:19.980 honorable sisters who have 0.97

00:53:20.940 who are coming here giving

00:53:21.920 their take on it

00:53:22.860 honorable brothers

00:53:23.860 lishan michael you're a

00:53:25.760 gem may Allah bless you and

00:53:26.560 shaquil we're gonna have

00:53:27.480 you guys more on the show

00:53:28.080 inshallah lishan uh no i'm

00:53:29.260 joking that

00:53:29.700 may Allah bless you guys

00:53:32.380 brothers and sisters inshallah

00:53:32.960 the next topic we're going to

00:53:33.920 discuss um is going to be

00:53:35.820 secret second wives uh

00:53:37.760 brother siftash i think you're

00:53:39.460 on it say no okay i think the 1.00

00:53:41.480 wife's gonna kill you but 1.00

00:53:42.260 you're gonna be 1.00

00:53:42.600 till next time assalamualaikum

00:53:44.840 wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

00:53:45.980 the prophet sallallahu

00:53:47.780 wasallam said whoever builds

00:53:49.500 a masjid for the sake of 1.00

00:53:50.500 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.81

00:53:51.320 Allah will build for him a 1.00

00:53:53.760 similar house in jannah on

00:53:55.700 that day where Allah subhanahu 1.00

00:53:56.960 wa ta'ala tells us that our

00:53:58.340 books will be given and every

00:54:00.160 little atom weight of good

00:54:01.680 deed you've done will be

00:54:02.820 there and imagine you see a

00:54:04.720 mountain and you're like what

00:54:06.160 a lucky person which righteous

00:54:07.960 person and Allah says this is

00:54:10.160 for you for me yes what did i

00:54:12.760 do you allow people to pray you

00:54:15.480 built a masjid i never had the

00:54:16.840 money to build a masjid oh 0.82

00:54:17.660 Allah you helped you gave

00:54:19.940 towards it and Allah gives you 0.97

00:54:21.100 the reward of as if you've

00:54:22.460 built it donate now guys and

00:54:24.460 do not delay and share the

00:54:25.920 video for extra rewards

Ali Dawah - July 02, 2023

SHOULD MARRIED COUPLES HAVE SINGLE FRIENDS？ - EP 12 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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