Ali Dawah - The Day my Mother Died ｜｜ Ali Dawah

00:00:00.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends

00:00:27.680 hope you guys are well welcome to this video before I start I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:00:32.680 the most merciful the most just all praises glory and gratitude belong to him for the works that we do as a team

00:00:37.600 the video today is a sensitive topic not only for brother Shaquille who's going to be sharing his story with us

00:00:44.160 but for me personally because it's to me like I actually obviously like I said before it's a sensitive topic

00:00:52.340 but it was hard for me to see brother Shaquille I've seen him before and the hardship he's going

00:00:58.140 through to do this video because it's a bit like rubbing salt on his wound but he really insisted

00:01:04.520 on doing it and subhanahu wa ta'ala I told him like I'm really busy with a few videos we'll do in two

00:01:08.920 weeks time you know because it's obviously I had videos to do as well but it's hard for me to

00:01:14.020 talk about something that he's been through and for him to mention again because it's like he's

00:01:19.320 reliving the whole thing obviously he called me I think messaged me about two days ago and he said

00:01:25.040 that it's mother's days on Sunday and I didn't know about it obviously we don't celebrate mother's

00:01:29.180 day but the fact that you know it's just known out there I thought it's a great idea to actually do

00:01:35.380 this and you know I wasn't feeling well myself but I said you know what it has to be done so yeah that's

00:01:41.380 why we're bringing this video to you guys for you guys to benefit most importantly because a lot of us

00:01:46.380 you know we don't appreciate our parents we don't know the value they have with us till they're gone

00:01:53.180 so obviously I'm going to start with brother Shaquille. Shaquille is going to share a story

00:01:57.520 of the moment he found out about his mother's illness to the day she passed away to today

00:02:07.200 I'm not going to carry on any further to be honest I want Shaquille, brother Shaquille to

00:02:11.200 kind of give us the story inshallah like from what happened so just tell me the first moment Aki when

00:02:21.120 when you first first first found out what was you doing that day before you found out

00:02:28.000 and how did your life change yeah in the name of Allah all praise is due to Allah first of all I just want to start saying I didn't even know that I was going to talk about the whole story from the beginning to the end I thought I was going to be talking about just giving advice to people to appreciate their parents obviously you told me about 20 minutes before so be patient with me

00:02:57.000 if I kind of lose my words or what not but I'll just tell you like since it's happened I've tried to just ignore the realities of it even though I see things every day that remind me certain smells sights certain roads I go down I get memories 24 7 but I really tried my best to blow it out of my head and just I don't know just

00:03:26.980 just try and pretend it's just try and pretend it never happened there's nothing I can do I can't bring her back so

00:03:32.980 but yeah like how it started

00:03:37.780 I remember she come back from Spain she stayed in Spain for a year

00:03:45.880 and she come back and she had a really bad cough it was really bad but she said that she went to the doctors and they just said that she had a chest infection

00:03:59.640 well I remember we went to Hyde Park she's in central London and we went out like a family out in and then I coughed I just noticed she was getting really really bad like she was heavily wheezing it was a cough like I never heard before

00:04:18.640 anyway

00:04:20.640 didn't pay no mind to it because she said it was okay

00:04:25.640 she said she's gone to the doctors like I said

00:04:27.640 then a few months later

00:04:30.640 she got she went up to North England to visit my brother

00:04:37.640 and then found out she went to the hospital for her chest because she was coughing and it got worse

00:04:46.640 so anyway she was in the hospital for one week and at this time I was still in South London and I had no means to get up to the hospital she was at

00:04:59.640 but I spoke to my stepdad and my stepdad was like yeah we're going to go up there on the weekend

00:05:08.640 before the weekend came I remember it was about nine o'clock in the morning

00:05:13.640 and I was walking to the gym and I got a phone call from my stepdad

00:05:19.640 and he's just like the first thing he just said he's like Romero get yourself together now we're going to go see your mum she's just been told she's got cancer

00:05:32.640 and then I was in the middle of the street at that time and I was just like my heart just like just stopped for a minute

00:05:39.640 I didn't know what to say and I was just like alright just let me know when you're outside my house

00:05:45.640 so anyway I just like I didn't know what to do in fact I carried on walking towards the gym like it was just weird I didn't know how to react

00:05:54.640 I didn't cry or anything I was just it's a big shock it's like not my mum

00:05:58.640 and if you if you watched my last video I gave my my read that story most people know that I was very close with my mum

00:06:07.640 she was a person that ever like she's easy to love and like so and she was a very strong woman as well

00:06:14.640 and I was just like I said I've heard that she's got cancer and he also said it's stage 4 cancer which is bad

00:06:21.640 very bad so I went to the gym and he said he's going to be at my house in about two hours

00:06:29.640 I said no I was in the gym and I was just obviously I went focusing and I saw one of my friends at the gym

00:06:35.640 and he asked me what's wrong like I just said well I've just been told my mum's got cancer and he was like what are you doing here

00:06:42.640 I'm like I don't know I just don't know what to do like he's like just go home

00:06:47.640 he said no I walked home and my stepdad picked me up then we went to North England it's like a three hour drive

00:06:55.640 and as we was going up there my stepdad was just complaining like the fact that the doctors just come and told her by herself

00:07:03.640 she had no family with her whatsoever and apparently he said that my mum was really crying just the fact that she was told all alone

00:07:12.640 and my mum's really sensitive to things like that I think anyone would be so anyway we got to go up to the hospital

00:07:21.640 I saw my brother I saw my mum and all this time she was in hospital for that long yeah we

00:07:29.640 she was just told that she's got this wrong with her and that wrong with her but she

00:07:33.640 it was only like until the last week she was told like she's got cancer so I saw her

00:07:36.640 and she was just lying in her bed and then I didn't want to look at her as if she was like sick or 0.94

00:07:42.640 ill like that so I just gave her a big smile and just gave her a kiss

00:07:45.640 and I didn't show her any I tried my best not to show her any panic or that I was scared

00:07:50.640 because I know she would be scared you know what I mean

00:07:53.640 but she come to me and then she just started talking just tears were coming down her eye 1.00

00:08:02.640 and she was just like don't worry son I'm gonna beat this there's plenty of kills out there

00:08:31.640 and I can sort this out don't worry I'm not gonna die she's like she's carried on telling me don't worry I'm not gonna die

00:08:38.640 I was like my mum know you're not gonna die you're too strong for that

00:08:41.640 you know we sat with her for a few hours and we just tried to avoid the subject

00:08:59.640 I just tried to talk about everything else other than that and then I'm just trying to bust joke

00:09:14.640 just pretend that things were fine

00:09:16.640 it's mad because I've tried so hard to block this up things are coming back to me

00:09:31.640 and after I went back to my brother's house and we had to leave my mum there which I didn't like at all

00:09:46.640 the first thing in the morning we went back and it was that pattern where we kept on going back and seeing my mum

00:09:52.640 they kept my mum in the hospital but my mum was still trying to be strong like she was still healthy inside the bed

00:10:02.640 but some of the days we would go to you like with these tubes and stuff

00:10:07.640 but then after a while she started getting better and she could walk and she was fine like my normal mum

00:10:12.640 she got discharged from hospital we went back to our area, South London, Creighton

00:10:17.640 and she just all of a sudden what I can remember is that she just like got this power just to start sorting out her life

00:10:28.640 and she was just really active just sorting things around the house

00:10:32.640 she just didn't look like someone that had stage 4 cancer, she was absolutely fine, strong

00:10:37.640 you know what I mean, she just changed all of her diet 1.00

00:10:39.640 she's like this is how I'm going to be, I'm going to stop eating all these horrible foods

00:10:43.640 a lot of them cause cancer

00:10:45.640 the whole diet in her house changed

00:10:47.640 no one was allowed to smoke in the house

00:10:50.640 things were looking good, in fact I'll say that she looked even better than she had done

00:10:54.640 when she cut out all the bad foods and her skin was really bright

00:10:57.640 her hair was really bright and strong, she was really fine

00:11:00.640 and then I remember we would just do like things all the time

00:11:08.640 like we'd go out for more meals

00:11:11.640 we'd do family orientated things

00:11:14.640 she used to love going shopping for the house so we used to go to Ikea all the time

00:11:20.640 Did it deteriorate? Cause you did say that like, okay, she was becoming better

00:11:25.640 but at what point did it start deteriorating?

00:11:31.640 maybe if you can like, forgive me for asking but just like share the moments where it deteriorated

00:11:36.640 and she ended up in hospital 0.84

00:11:42.640 so she refused to get chemo

00:11:44.640 she said she didn't like it

00:11:47.640 she said she didn't think it was, she said that she didn't think it was going to kill her

00:11:52.640 she said she felt like it was going to make her more sick

00:11:54.640 my mum's a woman that she loves her, she loves herself, she loves the fact that she is

00:12:02.640 her appearance and things like that

00:12:04.640 so to lose her hair and to lose lots of weight 0.80

00:12:06.640 and she just didn't like that idea

00:12:08.640 she said if I'm going to go I'm making sure I go and I look like a proper woman

00:12:11.640 she's just like, and she really had this in her head that there's no way I'm dying

00:12:15.640 sitting there

00:12:23.640 so yeah man, there's so many things that happened but

00:12:27.640 the reason why I can't just give it that because it was times like this

00:12:41.640 it was like, one week should be fine, next week should be really bad

00:12:45.640 and that was going on for a while

00:12:47.640 so one time she went into May Day Hospital which is in Quaden

00:12:59.640 she got quite ill there

00:13:03.640 but then she always would recover and come back out just fine

00:13:07.640 as if nothing ever happened

00:13:09.640 but then when she really started getting bad was her

00:13:13.640 So was this giving you mixed messages in a way like

00:13:15.640 hell yeah

00:13:17.640 okay she's going to get better

00:13:18.640 yeah

00:13:19.640 and then okay is she not

00:13:21.640 she's going to get better then she's not

00:13:23.640 and then she started staying

00:13:25.640 okay so then I remember because I used to stay out of the house all the time

00:13:29.640 I couldn't take it, it was just so bad like

00:13:31.640 coughs started getting worse and worse and worse

00:13:34.640 like in the morning that's what you'd been woken up by

00:13:37.640 that really horrible cough

00:13:39.640 you'd be going to sleep with that really horrible cough

00:13:43.640 like

00:13:45.640 it was one of them coughs like

00:13:47.640 it was

00:13:49.640 so when I hear a cough now like

00:13:51.640 I get, I'm paranoid all the time

00:13:53.640 you know what I mean, I hate

00:13:55.640 it's made me hate hearing any sort of cough

00:13:57.640 you know what I mean

00:13:59.640 but um

00:14:00.640 yeah so the cough was getting worse

00:14:02.640 and then slowly all these, like more medication was being brought into the house

00:14:05.640 then she started getting one of them big breathing machines because it's lung cancer so obviously it started affecting her lungs so it was affecting her breathing

00:14:19.640 and then um

00:14:21.640 she got that big grey machine

00:14:23.640 that she had to have

00:14:25.640 like a tube

00:14:27.640 and it was attached to her nose

00:14:29.640 sorry when it threw her nose

00:14:31.640 as you can see I really tried to forget all this stuff like

00:14:35.640 so yeah she had this tube in her nose and she used to use that to breathe 0.88

00:14:41.640 and it just sounded horrible

00:14:43.640 like it's

00:14:44.640 that's when it's

00:14:45.640 it sunk in

00:14:46.640 I remember I came home from work that day and I saw her with that 0.78

00:14:48.640 for the first time

00:14:50.640 and I just started crying my eyes out

00:14:52.640 obviously

00:14:54.640 the reality is like

00:14:56.640 wow like you really got this

00:14:58.640 it was a very horrible breathing

00:15:00.640 you could hear it from far

00:15:02.640 it was just horrible

00:15:03.640 horrible in and out breathing

00:15:05.640 and then

00:15:06.640 obviously we'd all have conversations in the family about like

00:15:10.640 what we're gonna do if this does happen like

00:15:12.640 and we'd all try to avoid the conversation

00:15:15.640 it was a horrible man and then

00:15:17.640 she got taken in to a hospital

00:15:20.640 up in North London

00:15:23.640 they specialise in cancer

00:15:25.640 I remember I went to visit her

00:15:27.640 and then

00:15:28.640 I think

00:15:30.640 yeah this is the hospital

00:15:32.640 she was last in

00:15:35.640 so she was in there

00:15:38.640 and

00:15:39.640 it was like a

00:15:40.640 hour drive

00:15:41.640 hour and a half drive

00:15:42.640 and my stepdad was like

00:15:44.640 oh yeah call your mum

00:15:45.640 because she's in that room there 0.64

00:15:46.640 and she can look out the window

00:15:48.640 whilst we're in the car park

00:15:50.640 so I called her up

00:15:51.640 the after I was like

00:15:52.640 me and my mum's relationship

00:15:53.640 like

00:15:54.640 we're both jokers with each other

00:15:55.640 you know what I mean

00:15:56.640 so

00:15:57.640 I called her up and I was like

00:15:58.640 mum look out the window

00:15:59.640 and then she was like

00:16:00.640 no

00:16:01.640 because it was a surprise I was coming

00:16:02.640 and then she was like

00:16:03.640 no

00:16:04.640 I goes yeah look out

00:16:05.640 and then she opened up the window

00:16:06.640 and she's like

00:16:07.640 you alright son?

00:16:08.640 and I was like

00:16:09.640 yeah what's going on mum

00:16:10.640 we'll be up in five minutes

00:16:11.640 so we parked up

00:16:12.640 went up the stairs

00:16:13.640 like

00:16:14.640 she just looked really good man

00:16:15.640 like

00:16:16.640 she didn't

00:16:17.640 she had a problem

00:16:18.640 she was like really happy to see me

00:16:19.640 I felt good

00:16:20.640 and

00:16:21.640 I remember she used to always complain about

00:16:24.640 when I get stressed out

00:16:25.640 I used to always let my hair grow

00:16:26.640 and she was just like

00:16:27.640 hey son I like when your hair is short

00:16:28.640 you look like my little boy

00:16:30.640 so then my hair was cut that day

00:16:33.640 so she brought that up

00:16:35.640 and said yeah that's my little boy

00:16:36.640 you know what I mean

00:16:37.640 but then just there

00:16:38.640 she was on the bed still 0.95

00:16:39.640 but she just looked fine

00:16:40.640 she didn't look like 0.93

00:16:41.640 she was going to die anytime soon

00:16:43.640 she looked fine

00:16:44.640 and then she goes

00:16:45.640 I've got something really bad to tell you

00:16:46.640 I was like what?

00:16:47.640 she goes

00:16:48.640 oh man something

00:16:49.640 something really happened

00:16:50.640 it scared me man

00:16:52.640 so you know

00:16:53.640 she said that

00:16:54.640 she was in a

00:16:55.640 she got caught in a bathroom one time

00:16:57.640 and then like

00:16:58.640 all of a sudden

00:16:59.640 she didn't have no air or anything

00:17:00.640 and then

00:17:01.640 her breath just went

00:17:03.640 she thought like

00:17:04.640 this was it

00:17:05.640 she was going to die

00:17:06.640 but anyway

00:17:07.640 just look at that story

00:17:08.640 she was just like

00:17:09.640 I really realised that

00:17:10.640 life is really precious

00:17:11.640 and I'm going to

00:17:12.640 once I get through this

00:17:14.640 she still had that mindset

00:17:15.640 I'm getting through it

00:17:16.640 once I get through this

00:17:17.640 I'm going to

00:17:18.640 sort out everything

00:17:20.640 like all the family issues

00:17:22.640 everything

00:17:23.640 she was going to sort it out

00:17:24.640 you know what I mean

00:17:25.640 so I was like yeah mum

00:17:26.640 so then

00:17:28.640 I left that

00:17:29.640 well we just had

00:17:30.640 really good conversations

00:17:31.640 just about life

00:17:32.640 and

00:17:35.640 she come out of that hospital again 0.75

00:17:37.640 and this was the best hospital for her

00:17:39.640 I remember

00:17:40.640 we used to just sit on the bed

00:17:42.640 at times

00:17:43.640 and she would just like

00:17:44.640 proper open up to me about

00:17:45.640 just about her

00:17:46.640 her childhood

00:17:47.640 life

00:17:48.640 and then she was just talking differently

00:17:51.640 even though it was mad

00:17:52.640 because she really thought

00:17:53.640 that she was going to be it

00:17:54.640 but she was like

00:17:56.640 she was just getting some inspiration

00:17:57.640 from someone

00:17:58.640 just dropping so much wisdom

00:17:59.640 on me

00:18:00.640 and advice

00:18:01.640 and life

00:18:02.640 about what I should do

00:18:03.640 with my talents

00:18:04.640 just everything

00:18:05.640 she was just giving me

00:18:06.640 really good tools

00:18:07.640 you know what I mean

00:18:08.640 what I should do for the family

00:18:09.640 she carried on telling me

00:18:10.640 like son

00:18:11.640 like out of the family

00:18:14.640 you're the strong one

00:18:15.640 I know you're the youngest

00:18:16.640 you're the strong one

00:18:18.640 so you're going to have to be

00:18:19.640 really strong

00:18:20.640 for your older brother

00:18:21.640 and sister 0.50

00:18:22.640 I feel like my brother

00:18:24.640 and sister's old

00:18:25.640 I mean

00:18:26.640 are strong

00:18:27.640 my brother's 39

00:18:28.640 my sister's 38

00:18:29.640 realistically

00:18:30.640 I want to be baby

00:18:31.640 I want to look to

00:18:32.640 I didn't really want to hear that

00:18:33.640 from my mum

00:18:34.640 like

00:18:35.640 that I'm going to have to be

00:18:36.640 the strong one

00:18:37.640 but like for her

00:18:38.640 I was just like

00:18:39.640 yeah man of course

00:18:40.640 anything

00:18:41.640 I don't know why

00:18:42.640 you're talking like that

00:18:43.640 you're not going to die

00:18:44.640 nothing

00:18:45.640 but yeah slowly

00:18:46.640 I could see her

00:18:47.640 getting worse and worse

00:18:48.640 and worse

00:18:49.640 the nights were really bad man

00:18:58.640 I used to cry myself to sleep

00:19:00.640 like hearing her

00:19:01.640 hearing her coughing

00:19:05.640 and it was like

00:19:06.640 such a horrible cough

00:19:07.640 and hearing the heavy breathing

00:19:09.640 of that machine

00:19:10.640 like it was terrible

00:19:12.640 so then she got taken up to my uncle's house 0.83

00:19:16.640 my uncle's quite good with like self remedies

00:19:18.640 and stuff like that

00:19:19.640 and he was just really working on her

00:19:20.640 and just really looking after her

00:19:22.640 giving her good massages

00:19:23.640 giving her all

00:19:25.640 all the kind of like

00:19:26.640 good treatment that she needed

00:19:27.640 and stuff

00:19:28.640 and then

00:19:29.640 I went

00:19:30.640 I went up and visited her

00:19:31.640 one day

00:19:32.640 and gave her that big smile

00:19:34.640 again

00:19:35.640 but this time

00:19:36.640 I could see there was a massive change in her health

00:19:39.640 and her mindset

00:19:40.640 like

00:19:41.640 she was slowly going back into her child

00:19:47.640 oh yeah things are coming back to her again

00:19:49.640 yeah before that

00:19:50.640 yeah I remember

00:19:51.640 she used to always come to me 1.00

00:19:52.640 and hold

00:19:53.640 like afterwards

00:19:54.640 she would say son come here

00:19:55.640 I'll come in my house after work

00:19:57.640 and she'll be like happy to see me

00:19:59.640 but

00:20:00.640 it wasn't happy to see me as a way

00:20:02.640 as if like that's my son

00:20:03.640 she was looking at me like I was her dad

00:20:05.640 or I'm her saviour

00:20:06.640 and she would say son come here come here

00:20:08.640 it'll just be me and her

00:20:10.640 she'd be like hold my hand 0.96

00:20:11.640 hold my hand

00:20:12.640 this ain't something

00:20:13.640 I really don't want to die

00:20:27.640 then I realise she was really panicking

00:20:29.640 you know what I mean

00:20:30.640 she really started thinking

00:20:31.640 she's going to die

00:20:32.640 like 0.96

00:20:33.640 this is my mum

00:20:34.640 she's telling me

00:20:35.640 that she don't want to die

00:20:36.640 and that was her

00:20:43.640 then she started 0.80

00:20:44.640 I could see her

00:20:45.640 she ended up becoming like a child

00:20:47.640 just crying all the time

00:20:49.640 and just saying I don't want to die

00:20:50.640 I don't want to die

00:20:51.640 I'm scared

00:20:52.640 I don't want to die

00:20:53.640 I've never ever ever ever

00:20:56.640 throughout my whole life

00:20:57.640 my whole life

00:20:59.640 see mum I'm scared

00:21:00.640 even all that rubbish we went through

00:21:08.640 you heard about the two gunshots 0.85

00:21:12.640 in my house and all that stuff

00:21:14.640 I've seen my mum like a bit frightened or a bit timid

00:21:18.640 but never scared like that

00:21:20.640 never scared

00:21:21.640 I've seen her confront grown men

00:21:23.640 men that claim to be the baddest men

00:21:26.640 like you know what I mean

00:21:27.640 big intimidating guys

00:21:29.640 I've seen my mum confront them

00:21:30.640 I've seen my mum confront groups of people

00:21:33.640 and then this time

00:21:36.640 there's nobody around

00:21:37.640 and she's telling me that she's scared

00:21:40.640 so then I realised

00:21:41.640 well she really does need help

00:21:42.640 so she's always just reminding them

00:21:44.640 why mum you're not going to die

00:21:46.640 you know what I did

00:21:47.640 she said tell me like

00:21:48.640 she's got a son if I do die 1.00

00:21:49.640 tell me how Muslims get buried again 1.00

00:21:51.640 because before 0.92

00:21:52.640 a few years before this by the way

00:21:54.640 a lot of people didn't know

00:21:55.640 she took a Shahada

00:21:56.640 a year before she got cancer

00:22:00.640 she'd become Muslim

00:22:04.640 she says she just loves the way of the life

00:22:08.640 and obviously she saw a big change in me

00:22:14.640 so yeah so she was just like

00:22:15.640 a son remind me

00:22:16.640 I remember a few years ago

00:22:17.640 I should tell her like

00:22:18.640 what it's like

00:22:19.640 that's a Muslim burial

00:22:20.640 she's like remind me

00:22:21.640 I was just like

00:22:22.640 I had to tell her

00:22:23.640 I was just like

00:22:24.640 I don't know why you want to hear it

00:22:25.640 but I'll tell you

00:22:26.640 I don't know like

00:22:27.640 for women

00:22:28.640 you know

00:22:29.640 no men touch you 0.96

00:22:30.640 it's only women that touch your body 1.00

00:22:32.640 she's like

00:22:33.640 I love that

00:22:34.640 they're so sacred

00:22:35.640 like I don't want no strings

00:22:36.640 men touching my body 0.93

00:22:37.640 she just had this shyness about her

00:22:40.640 you know what I mean

00:22:41.640 she told her

00:22:43.640 that her body will be

00:22:46.640 washed really gently

00:22:48.640 it will be perfumed

00:22:50.640 and her skin will be just treated

00:22:52.640 really softly

00:22:53.640 she's like

00:22:54.640 that's really nice

00:22:55.640 she's like

00:22:56.640 put a lot of lovely perfume

00:22:57.640 on your body

00:22:58.640 and wrap your body up

00:23:00.640 in these fresh white sheets

00:23:02.640 and no one can come and see you

00:23:05.640 no one but you won't just be open

00:23:08.640 you know

00:23:09.640 although when you're into the grave

00:23:10.640 and you'll be facing the Kaaba

00:23:12.640 or you'll be facing the Mecca

00:23:14.640 it's just like that

00:23:15.640 it's so beautiful

00:23:16.640 and then I'll tell her that when you're in the grave

00:23:20.640 all the good deeds you did

00:23:22.640 they will come to you in the form of a person or an angel

00:23:25.640 my mum loves angels

00:23:27.640 and I'll say all the good you did

00:23:29.640 that angel or that thing 0.89

00:23:31.640 will come to you in a beautiful fashion

00:23:33.640 that person or that angel will be smelling really nice

00:23:37.640 and remind you and tell you all the good things you did in this life

00:23:40.640 all the good things you did in this life

00:23:42.640 and he'll say

00:23:43.640 you see that spot over there

00:23:44.640 and there'll be a little window

00:23:46.640 that's your place in heaven

00:23:47.640 I'm saying

00:23:48.640 this is what I need

00:23:49.640 this is what I'm saying

00:23:50.640 this is why I love this religion

00:23:51.640 so anyway

00:23:53.640 her health started getting really bad

00:23:55.640 like I said

00:23:56.640 she ended up becoming a child

00:23:58.640 it's like she didn't really acknowledge me as her son anymore

00:24:01.640 she was just

00:24:03.640 I was just there

00:24:04.640 you know what I mean

00:24:05.640 me seeing that

00:24:06.640 it was just breaking me apart

00:24:08.640 breaking my brothers

00:24:09.640 my brother apart

00:24:10.640 and all my family was just broken

00:24:12.640 because my mum was very very strong

00:24:14.640 like she was the head of the whole family

00:24:16.640 yeah

00:24:29.640 yeah

00:24:30.640 there's just horrible parts man

00:24:32.640 I don't even want to get into it

00:24:33.640 like it's just

00:24:36.640 you know people just think

00:24:38.640 when someone dies

00:24:40.640 they just die

00:24:41.640 but

00:24:43.640 it's not an instant death

00:24:45.640 it was just

00:24:46.640 it was

00:24:47.640 it was a long stage

00:24:48.640 where you're seeing someone deteriorate

00:24:51.640 like

00:24:52.640 yeah

00:24:53.640 and you're

00:24:54.640 you're seeing your mum

00:24:55.640 die in front of you

00:24:56.640 slowly 0.99

00:24:57.640 like

00:24:58.640 you're seeing your mum

00:24:59.640 puke up

00:25:00.640 continuously

00:25:01.640 you know what I mean

00:25:02.640 you're seeing your mum

00:25:03.640 need help to go

00:25:04.640 to the toilet

00:25:05.640 you're seeing your mum

00:25:06.640 just mash up

00:25:07.640 just

00:25:08.640 weak

00:25:09.640 needing you to hold her

00:25:10.640 just to walk from here

00:25:11.640 to there

00:25:12.640 she needs

00:25:14.640 things that help

00:25:15.640 to breathe

00:25:16.640 but then

00:25:20.640 um

00:25:21.640 one day I was out with my friend

00:25:25.640 this was the 3rd of October

00:25:29.640 and I just carried on saying to my friend

00:25:31.640 today feels really weird

00:25:33.640 something's wrong

00:25:34.640 I just

00:25:35.640 something's wrong today

00:25:36.640 I just

00:25:37.640 something's wrong today

00:25:38.640 I don't know what it is

00:25:39.640 but my heart's just telling me something's wrong

00:25:41.640 it's got that feeling

00:25:42.640 that I didn't know what it was

00:25:44.640 but I swear throughout the whole day

00:25:45.640 I was just saying

00:25:46.640 something's wrong today

00:25:47.640 I don't know what's going on

00:25:48.640 then anyway

00:25:49.640 about um

00:25:50.640 seven o'clock

00:25:51.640 I've gone back to my house

00:25:54.640 and I've seen my um

00:25:58.640 my brother

00:25:59.640 and my sister's car outside

00:26:02.640 and

00:26:05.640 normally they'll be out doing whatever they were doing

00:26:07.640 but their cars ain't there

00:26:09.640 and

00:26:10.640 I've walked in the house

00:26:11.640 and

00:26:12.640 I've just seen my sister crying

00:26:14.640 and

00:26:15.640 I've just walked out

00:26:17.640 I don't even

00:26:18.640 I just walked like

00:26:19.640 in my drive

00:26:20.640 and

00:26:21.640 just pretty much just collapsed on the floor

00:26:22.640 just started crying my eyes out

00:26:24.640 because

00:26:25.640 I just took it that my mum's dead

00:26:28.640 I was dead

00:26:31.640 and

00:26:32.640 I

00:26:33.640 I got up

00:26:34.640 you know

00:26:35.640 this person

00:26:36.640 I got up

00:26:37.640 and I walked in my room

00:26:38.640 I walked back in my house

00:26:40.640 and my brother was just

00:26:42.640 helping proper time

00:26:43.640 just like

00:26:45.640 mum's got twelve hours to live 0.99

00:26:53.640 and I was just like

00:26:54.640 let's just go right now

00:26:55.640 let's go right now

00:26:57.640 He was like, come, let's go.

00:27:01.640 And then the journey was two hours away.

00:27:04.640 So he was like, yeah, at least we can go say goodbye.

00:27:07.640 You know what I mean?

00:27:09.640 So we're on our way up there, driving, driving.

00:27:13.640 My stepdad's already up there.

00:27:15.640 And he's like, come on, let's go.

00:27:17.640 We can all say our goodbyes and all that.

00:27:20.640 And just send our love and just don't make it seem horrible.

00:27:25.640 And so we've driven up there.

00:27:30.640 And by the time we got to the entrance of the hospital,

00:27:34.640 my stepdad just walked out.

00:27:36.640 And they said, why is this too late?

00:27:39.640 She's gone.

00:27:43.640 So we were expecting that we could say goodbye within 12 hours,

00:27:47.640 but within two hours, she was gone.

00:27:50.640 Didn't get to say nothing.

00:27:55.640 Not a single word.

00:28:04.640 No, I love you.

00:28:06.640 Or bite.

00:28:08.640 Or nothing.

00:28:10.640 What advice would you give to people listening to this, like,

00:28:19.640 the youth who are disobedient to their mothers, their fathers?

00:28:24.640 I don't even think it's people that are disobedient,

00:28:26.640 because everyone thinks that they love their parents so much.

00:28:29.640 That was one of them.

00:28:31.640 We all do it.

00:28:33.640 Every single one of us.

00:28:34.640 Even if we think we're the most righteous children.

00:28:37.640 If our parents are Muslim or not.

00:28:39.640 We all take the mick out of our parents.

00:28:44.640 All on different levels, obviously.

00:28:46.640 But all of us.

00:28:48.640 We all need to sort ourselves out.

00:28:53.640 I just remember one day.

00:28:55.640 I don't know what to say because I can never, like, I'm trying to imagine.

00:29:08.640 I'm trying to put myself in a situation and thinking if my mother went through that, what would I do?

00:29:14.640 Like, and it's like, my brain is giving me a shock of, like, don't even ask that.

00:29:19.640 Don't even put yourself in that situation.

00:29:21.640 Don't, like, like, if I can't even bear to think about it, I don't know how I can bear to go through it.

00:29:27.640 But one thing that I would say, Akiwallah, it's the biggest blessing, is that your mother accepted Islam.

00:29:33.640 Akiwallah, by Allah, I would give the whole wide world.

00:29:37.640 Yeah, because knowing that we all know our parents are going to die.

00:29:42.640 Like, we can die before them.

00:29:45.640 But for them to die is a, it's like a stab wound to your heart as it is. 0.59

00:29:51.640 Akiwallah, to know, and this is like, I don't mean to hurt people that are listening to this, that maybe their family hasn't accepted Islam.

00:29:59.640 Akiwallah, to know that your family, like, your parent didn't accept Islam.

00:30:06.640 Akiwallah, I don't know how I would have lived with it. 1.00

00:30:08.640 Yes, my parents are going to die. Maybe I'm going to die before them. 0.58

00:30:11.640 But, okay, to a point you can bear it, okay, to a point.

00:30:16.640 But knowing every day you wake up that your parents didn't accept Islam and died, like, that's one of the scariest things.

00:30:23.640 Akiwallah, I know it's a calamity, but, you know, I can say nothing but see it as a blessing in a way that she accepted Islam. 1.00

00:30:34.640 Akiwallah, I would give the whole wide world just for my parents to accept Islam. 0.94

00:30:39.640 Akiwallah, just, at least then I'm just like, look, at least, at least there is a chance that I can see them in there after. 0.95

00:30:46.640 Akiwallah, at least there's that chance. Do you get it? 0.96

00:30:48.640 Akiwallah, just keep that in mind that, you know, I was so happy when you said, like, obviously when you said your mum passed away, it obviously really hurt me.

00:30:58.640 But the fact that you said she had said Islam, akiwallah, it just called my heart down.

00:31:01.640 Like, I was like, I was so happy for you. Wallahi, by Allah, I was just like, because if you said to me she didn't, akiwallah, I was just like, I don't know what I would have done.

00:31:09.640 Wallahi, I'm being honest, I would have not be able to do this video. I could have not do this video.

00:31:13.640 There's no way I could have do this video and it's hard already as it is, but I could not do it. Wallahi, by Allah, I would not be able to do it.

00:31:22.640 But, yeah, man, I don't know. I just hope, like, this video, the whole point behind this video is for you guys to understand. Wallahi, by Allah, just understand the value of your parents.

00:31:33.640 I have times with my mum where I'm just like, you know, you get mad. Put yourself back in your place. You know, this is your mother. You know, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said that he orders you to worship none other than him and to be in excellent behaviour to your mother and your father.

00:31:50.780 You know, this is the doors to Jannah. Wallahi, by Allah, your obedience to your family members, to your mum and dad is your doors to Jannah. 0.99

00:32:01.940 I can't really remember, I was looking for it before we started this, but there was a sahabi where he was so obedient to his mother and his father.

00:32:11.880 And when they passed away, he was crying so much and they were asking, why are you crying?

00:32:15.820 And it's like, my doors to Jannah have gone. My doors to Jannah have gone now.

00:32:21.300 But I did also see a narration as I was looking on the laptop, is that every Friday, every Friday if you go and, like, do du'a for them in their grave, it's like you're being obedient to them.

00:32:33.980 You know, and, like, you know, keep that in mind, Aki.

00:32:36.800 You know, you can still benefit them. You want to start your own charity, inshallah, like, I will be more than happy to help you in, inshallah.

00:32:46.120 And, brothers and sisters, Wallahi, I want to share a few narrations with you guys, is that Abdullah ibn Umar, once he was at the Kaaba and he saw a man, a Yemeni man circulating in the Kaaba with his mother on his shoulders.

00:32:56.760 And he was circulating, and as he's circulating, he's humiliating himself by saying, I am my mother's, like, camel.

00:33:03.740 I am my mother's camel, and he's going around, and he's going around.

00:33:07.040 And then after he did this, he came to Abdullah ibn Umar and said, oh, Abdullah ibn Umar, have I paid back what my mum did for me?

00:33:13.860 Abdullah ibn Umar said, you did not even pay back one uff she made when she was giving birth to you.

00:33:20.000 You did not pay back one time when she went uff when she was giving birth to you. 0.63

00:33:24.840 That one little pain. And also, there is another narration where a man who left his family came to the Prophet ﷺ in war and said, oh, I've come to give you bayah and basically fight in your cause.

00:33:38.700 And he goes, I left my mother and father crying. And he said, return back to your mother and father and make them happy just the way you made them cry.

00:33:46.600 If the biggest form of, like, obedience and reward you want to get, go back and serve them.

00:33:53.020 And brothers and sisters, Wallahi, if you are, like, forget swearing, man. There's people today that are hitting their old mother, man.

00:34:02.060 The same mother who looked after you for nine months, brought you to this age.

00:34:07.300 Wallahi, I don't understand. I don't understand. What mentality are you serving, man?

00:34:11.040 The same mother who brought you up, you're lifting your hand to that. You're lifting your hand to her.

00:34:14.520 But just learn from my mistakes that if I could go back and just have, not even one day, if I could have one hour with my mum, what a lie.

00:34:24.120 I'm not joking you. I would just, I would not, I wouldn't, there's nothing I probably wouldn't do.

00:34:31.700 Like, I would just tell her I love her so much every single second, like, you lot still got that opportunity now just to turn to your mum.

00:34:39.520 Just saying, mum, I love you.

00:34:41.920 That's what all of us, like, all of us really need to fix up all our relationships to our parents.

00:34:46.380 And then, there are boys and girls out there that are swearing at their parents.

00:34:49.940 What are you doing?

00:34:51.920 What are you doing? 0.99

00:34:53.360 You're hitting your parents. What are you doing? 0.95

00:34:56.600 You just sort yourselves out.

00:34:58.760 Because that day when you're there blowing your mum in the grave or your father in the grave,

00:35:04.160 all those things are going to haunt you every single night from then on.

00:35:08.500 You will have dreams remembering.

00:35:10.660 And that's part of the punishment, I personally believe.

00:35:12.920 I'm not saying this in the Quran or anything like that.

00:35:14.960 But I feel that as part of the punishment of your disobedience to your parents,

00:35:20.420 of your rudeness and your negligence towards your parents,

00:35:23.920 that you will get flashbacks of how you were so rude and selfish towards your parents. 0.53

00:35:29.500 That when your parents asked for one simple favour, you couldn't be bothered. 0.76

00:35:33.420 You just wanted to muck around.

00:35:35.180 You just can't be bothered to do that for my mum.

00:35:37.780 We're only here for how long?

00:35:39.900 For how long?

00:35:41.640 But you can't be bothered just to do one simple thing for your parents.

00:35:44.960 You've got time for your friends.

00:35:46.460 You've got all these time for your friends.

00:35:47.940 Or this is the other thing that I notice a lot of us do as well.

00:35:51.920 Is that when you're out of your friends, you're all, like, you'd be extra patient with them.

00:35:56.460 Mr. Nice Guy and Mr. Nice Lady.

00:35:58.780 Extra patient with them.

00:35:59.840 Allow them to do their little things.

00:36:01.540 Allow them to do their little snidey remarks or, you know, they're over late.

00:36:05.580 And you would ignore their mistakes.

00:36:07.980 But see if your mum or your dad does one little thing, you're on to them.

00:36:11.080 Mum, man.

00:36:11.960 Why are you doing this for?

00:36:13.200 Dad, man.

00:36:15.260 How can you be extra patient with people that are other than your parents?

00:36:20.480 The people that raise you.

00:36:23.260 People that used to wipe you when you couldn't wipe yourself.

00:36:26.600 How do you do this?

00:36:29.500 So my brothers and my sisters, like, let's collectively do it.

00:36:32.140 Really think about it because, honestly, I'm only saying it to you like this.

00:36:35.440 It's because I don't want you lot to go through the hurt that I've gone through.

00:36:38.300 I want you lot to feel like, you know what, I was really good towards my mother.

00:36:42.440 And I was really good towards my father.

00:36:44.920 And they were proud of me.

00:36:47.220 How sinful is the youth that, you know, you speak harsh to your mother and you're gentle with your friends.

00:36:55.880 And not only that, one of the biggest things that hurt me so much, bro,

00:36:59.040 when your mother or father reaches old age and you put them in care homes.

00:37:04.580 I know, like, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala know, obviously we're all going to go through this.

00:37:09.320 You know, may Allah make it easy for us because, you know, once they get older, they become like a child again.

00:37:14.480 You know, it's your turn to look after them.

00:37:16.400 And may Allah make it easier upon us.

00:37:17.880 It's not easy, I know.

00:37:19.240 How dare you, man?

00:37:20.520 Allah, how dare you put that same mother who's brought you to this age and put her in a care home?

00:37:25.720 I don't understand, man.

00:37:27.300 I don't understand.

00:37:27.700 Putting your wife before your parents or putting your husband before your parents. 0.69

00:37:31.840 Allah, I don't know. 0.87

00:37:32.540 What kind of a brain you're serving, I don't understand. 0.79

00:37:37.240 And Allah, I'm just being honest, man.

00:37:38.640 Like, I just, I truly believe whatever I have in life,

00:37:44.660 the very little, the contentment or the happiness or whatever it is,

00:37:48.440 it's the du'as of my mum.

00:37:50.120 It's the du'as of my mother.

00:37:51.200 Every time I leave the house, that she, she says, look, hope you have a beautiful day.

00:37:57.900 Hope God sends his blessings on you.

00:38:00.120 Well, like that.

00:38:00.800 Just leaving home hearing that, that's enough.

00:38:04.180 And Allah, if you want to bless life in this life and hereafter, obey your parents as much as you can.

00:38:09.540 And next time you ever think of saying anything, just say, if my mother or my father passed away today, how would I feel?

00:38:17.540 So I'm going to leave it at that, man.

00:38:18.960 There's nothing more needs to be said.

00:38:21.580 And Shakur, I really appreciate it.

00:38:23.060 Thank you very much for sharing your story, even though how hard it is, both for you and me.

00:38:28.140 But please benefit from this video and share it.

00:38:31.460 You know, we are not doing these videos for your entertainment, for you to just watch it for the sake of it.

00:38:36.900 If you truly, truly want to benefit, implement what you've heard today.

00:38:41.120 Implement it.

00:38:41.580 Don't just get a high Iman and then, yeah, okay, cry.

00:38:44.720 We don't need you to cry.

00:38:45.800 Don't cry.

00:38:46.660 We don't need you to cry on the finger.

00:38:48.060 And yeah, if you're going to cry and go back to the same thing, don't cry.

00:38:51.880 Don't cry.

00:38:53.020 Change your ways.

00:38:53.760 Just say, look, okay, it's affected me.

00:38:56.020 I'm going to try to better myself.

00:38:57.460 No matter what it is, giving it, whatever, man, whatever to your parents.

00:39:02.280 Please, do it sincerely.

00:39:04.480 So, that's about it, guys.

00:39:06.060 Please share the video with other people, inshallah, they benefit as well.

00:39:12.180 And yeah, that's about it from us.

00:39:13.360 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant every single one of you guys.

00:39:15.580 Jannah.

00:39:16.260 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

00:39:27.560 Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

00:39:29.260 Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot ad-a-do.

00:39:31.940 Na-na-na. 0.56

00:39:33.440 Na-na-na-na-na-na.

00:39:35.060 To be continued...

00:39:46.580 All right.

00:39:54.800 All right.

Ali Dawah - March 06, 2016

The Day my Mother Died ｜｜ Ali Dawah

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