Ali Dawah


The Day my Mother Died || Ali Dawah


Episode Stats

Misogynist Sentences

21

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends
00:00:27.680 hope you guys are well welcome to this video before I start I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:00:32.680 the most merciful the most just all praises glory and gratitude belong to him for the works that we do as a team
00:00:37.600 the video today is a sensitive topic not only for brother Shaquille who's going to be sharing his story with us
00:00:44.160 but for me personally because it's to me like I actually obviously like I said before it's a sensitive topic
00:00:52.340 but it was hard for me to see brother Shaquille I've seen him before and the hardship he's going
00:00:58.140 through to do this video because it's a bit like rubbing salt on his wound but he really insisted
00:01:04.520 on doing it and subhanahu wa ta'ala I told him like I'm really busy with a few videos we'll do in two
00:01:08.920 weeks time you know because it's obviously I had videos to do as well but it's hard for me to
00:01:14.020 talk about something that he's been through and for him to mention again because it's like he's
00:01:19.320 reliving the whole thing obviously he called me I think messaged me about two days ago and he said
00:01:25.040 that it's mother's days on Sunday and I didn't know about it obviously we don't celebrate mother's
00:01:29.180 day but the fact that you know it's just known out there I thought it's a great idea to actually do
00:01:35.380 this and you know I wasn't feeling well myself but I said you know what it has to be done so yeah that's
00:01:41.380 why we're bringing this video to you guys for you guys to benefit most importantly because a lot of us
00:01:46.380 you know we don't appreciate our parents we don't know the value they have with us till they're gone
00:01:53.180 so obviously I'm going to start with brother Shaquille. Shaquille is going to share a story
00:01:57.520 of the moment he found out about his mother's illness to the day she passed away to today
00:02:07.200 I'm not going to carry on any further to be honest I want Shaquille, brother Shaquille to
00:02:11.200 kind of give us the story inshallah like from what happened so just tell me the first moment Aki when
00:02:21.120 when you first first first found out what was you doing that day before you found out
00:02:28.000 and how did your life change yeah in the name of Allah all praise is due to Allah first of all I just want to start saying I didn't even know that I was going to talk about the whole story from the beginning to the end I thought I was going to be talking about just giving advice to people to appreciate their parents obviously you told me about 20 minutes before so be patient with me
00:02:57.000 if I kind of lose my words or what not but I'll just tell you like since it's happened I've tried to just ignore the realities of it even though I see things every day that remind me certain smells sights certain roads I go down I get memories 24 7 but I really tried my best to blow it out of my head and just I don't know just
00:03:26.980 just try and pretend it's just try and pretend it never happened there's nothing I can do I can't bring her back so
00:03:32.980 but yeah like how it started
00:03:37.780 I remember she come back from Spain she stayed in Spain for a year
00:03:45.880 and she come back and she had a really bad cough it was really bad but she said that she went to the doctors and they just said that she had a chest infection
00:03:59.640 well I remember we went to Hyde Park she's in central London and we went out like a family out in and then I coughed I just noticed she was getting really really bad like she was heavily wheezing it was a cough like I never heard before
00:04:18.640 anyway
00:04:20.640 didn't pay no mind to it because she said it was okay
00:04:25.640 she said she's gone to the doctors like I said
00:04:27.640 then a few months later
00:04:30.640 she got she went up to North England to visit my brother
00:04:37.640 and then found out she went to the hospital for her chest because she was coughing and it got worse
00:04:46.640 so anyway she was in the hospital for one week and at this time I was still in South London and I had no means to get up to the hospital she was at
00:04:59.640 but I spoke to my stepdad and my stepdad was like yeah we're going to go up there on the weekend
00:05:08.640 before the weekend came I remember it was about nine o'clock in the morning
00:05:13.640 and I was walking to the gym and I got a phone call from my stepdad
00:05:19.640 and he's just like the first thing he just said he's like Romero get yourself together now we're going to go see your mum she's just been told she's got cancer
00:05:32.640 and then I was in the middle of the street at that time and I was just like my heart just like just stopped for a minute
00:05:39.640 I didn't know what to say and I was just like alright just let me know when you're outside my house
00:05:45.640 so anyway I just like I didn't know what to do in fact I carried on walking towards the gym like it was just weird I didn't know how to react
00:05:54.640 I didn't cry or anything I was just it's a big shock it's like not my mum
00:05:58.640 and if you if you watched my last video I gave my my read that story most people know that I was very close with my mum
00:06:07.640 she was a person that ever like she's easy to love and like so and she was a very strong woman as well
00:06:14.640 and I was just like I said I've heard that she's got cancer and he also said it's stage 4 cancer which is bad
00:06:21.640 very bad so I went to the gym and he said he's going to be at my house in about two hours
00:06:29.640 I said no I was in the gym and I was just obviously I went focusing and I saw one of my friends at the gym
00:06:35.640 and he asked me what's wrong like I just said well I've just been told my mum's got cancer and he was like what are you doing here
00:06:42.640 I'm like I don't know I just don't know what to do like he's like just go home
00:06:47.640 he said no I walked home and my stepdad picked me up then we went to North England it's like a three hour drive
00:06:55.640 and as we was going up there my stepdad was just complaining like the fact that the doctors just come and told her by herself
00:07:03.640 she had no family with her whatsoever and apparently he said that my mum was really crying just the fact that she was told all alone
00:07:12.640 and my mum's really sensitive to things like that I think anyone would be so anyway we got to go up to the hospital
00:07:21.640 I saw my brother I saw my mum and all this time she was in hospital for that long yeah we
00:07:29.640 she was just told that she's got this wrong with her and that wrong with her but she
00:07:33.640 it was only like until the last week she was told like she's got cancer so I saw her
00:07:36.640 and she was just lying in her bed and then I didn't want to look at her as if she was like sick or
00:07:42.640 ill like that so I just gave her a big smile and just gave her a kiss
00:07:45.640 and I didn't show her any I tried my best not to show her any panic or that I was scared
00:07:50.640 because I know she would be scared you know what I mean
00:07:53.640 but she come to me and then she just started talking just tears were coming down her eye
00:08:02.640 and she was just like don't worry son I'm gonna beat this there's plenty of kills out there
00:08:31.640 and I can sort this out don't worry I'm not gonna die she's like she's carried on telling me don't worry I'm not gonna die
00:08:38.640 I was like my mum know you're not gonna die you're too strong for that
00:08:41.640 you know we sat with her for a few hours and we just tried to avoid the subject
00:08:59.640 I just tried to talk about everything else other than that and then I'm just trying to bust joke
00:09:14.640 just pretend that things were fine
00:09:16.640 it's mad because I've tried so hard to block this up things are coming back to me
00:09:31.640 and after I went back to my brother's house and we had to leave my mum there which I didn't like at all
00:09:46.640 the first thing in the morning we went back and it was that pattern where we kept on going back and seeing my mum
00:09:52.640 they kept my mum in the hospital but my mum was still trying to be strong like she was still healthy inside the bed
00:10:02.640 but some of the days we would go to you like with these tubes and stuff
00:10:07.640 but then after a while she started getting better and she could walk and she was fine like my normal mum
00:10:12.640 she got discharged from hospital we went back to our area, South London, Creighton
00:10:17.640 and she just all of a sudden what I can remember is that she just like got this power just to start sorting out her life
00:10:28.640 and she was just really active just sorting things around the house
00:10:32.640 she just didn't look like someone that had stage 4 cancer, she was absolutely fine, strong
00:10:37.640 you know what I mean, she just changed all of her diet
00:10:39.640 she's like this is how I'm going to be, I'm going to stop eating all these horrible foods
00:10:43.640 a lot of them cause cancer
00:10:45.640 the whole diet in her house changed
00:10:47.640 no one was allowed to smoke in the house
00:10:50.640 things were looking good, in fact I'll say that she looked even better than she had done
00:10:54.640 when she cut out all the bad foods and her skin was really bright
00:10:57.640 her hair was really bright and strong, she was really fine
00:11:00.640 and then I remember we would just do like things all the time
00:11:08.640 like we'd go out for more meals
00:11:11.640 we'd do family orientated things
00:11:14.640 she used to love going shopping for the house so we used to go to Ikea all the time
00:11:20.640 Did it deteriorate? Cause you did say that like, okay, she was becoming better
00:11:25.640 but at what point did it start deteriorating?
00:11:31.640 maybe if you can like, forgive me for asking but just like share the moments where it deteriorated
00:11:36.640 and she ended up in hospital
00:11:42.640 so she refused to get chemo
00:11:44.640 she said she didn't like it
00:11:47.640 she said she didn't think it was, she said that she didn't think it was going to kill her
00:11:52.640 she said she felt like it was going to make her more sick
00:11:54.640 my mum's a woman that she loves her, she loves herself, she loves the fact that she is
00:12:02.640 her appearance and things like that
00:12:04.640 so to lose her hair and to lose lots of weight
00:12:06.640 and she just didn't like that idea
00:12:08.640 she said if I'm going to go I'm making sure I go and I look like a proper woman
00:12:11.640 she's just like, and she really had this in her head that there's no way I'm dying
00:12:15.640 sitting there
00:12:23.640 so yeah man, there's so many things that happened but
00:12:27.640 the reason why I can't just give it that because it was times like this
00:12:41.640 it was like, one week should be fine, next week should be really bad
00:12:45.640 and that was going on for a while
00:12:47.640 so one time she went into May Day Hospital which is in Quaden
00:12:59.640 she got quite ill there
00:13:03.640 but then she always would recover and come back out just fine
00:13:07.640 as if nothing ever happened
00:13:09.640 but then when she really started getting bad was her
00:13:13.640 So was this giving you mixed messages in a way like
00:13:15.640 hell yeah
00:13:17.640 okay she's going to get better
00:13:18.640 yeah
00:13:19.640 and then okay is she not
00:13:21.640 she's going to get better then she's not
00:13:23.640 and then she started staying
00:13:25.640 okay so then I remember because I used to stay out of the house all the time
00:13:29.640 I couldn't take it, it was just so bad like
00:13:31.640 coughs started getting worse and worse and worse
00:13:34.640 like in the morning that's what you'd been woken up by
00:13:37.640 that really horrible cough
00:13:39.640 you'd be going to sleep with that really horrible cough
00:13:43.640 like
00:13:45.640 it was one of them coughs like
00:13:47.640 it was
00:13:49.640 so when I hear a cough now like
00:13:51.640 I get, I'm paranoid all the time
00:13:53.640 you know what I mean, I hate
00:13:55.640 it's made me hate hearing any sort of cough
00:13:57.640 you know what I mean
00:13:59.640 but um
00:14:00.640 yeah so the cough was getting worse
00:14:02.640 and then slowly all these, like more medication was being brought into the house
00:14:05.640 then she started getting one of them big breathing machines because it's lung cancer so obviously it started affecting her lungs so it was affecting her breathing
00:14:19.640 and then um
00:14:21.640 she got that big grey machine
00:14:23.640 that she had to have
00:14:25.640 like a tube
00:14:27.640 and it was attached to her nose
00:14:29.640 sorry when it threw her nose
00:14:31.640 as you can see I really tried to forget all this stuff like
00:14:35.640 so yeah she had this tube in her nose and she used to use that to breathe
00:14:41.640 and it just sounded horrible
00:14:43.640 like it's
00:14:44.640 that's when it's
00:14:45.640 it sunk in
00:14:46.640 I remember I came home from work that day and I saw her with that
00:14:48.640 for the first time
00:14:50.640 and I just started crying my eyes out
00:14:52.640 obviously
00:14:54.640 the reality is like
00:14:56.640 wow like you really got this
00:14:58.640 it was a very horrible breathing
00:15:00.640 you could hear it from far
00:15:02.640 it was just horrible
00:15:03.640 horrible in and out breathing
00:15:05.640 and then
00:15:06.640 obviously we'd all have conversations in the family about like
00:15:10.640 what we're gonna do if this does happen like
00:15:12.640 and we'd all try to avoid the conversation
00:15:15.640 it was a horrible man and then
00:15:17.640 she got taken in to a hospital
00:15:20.640 up in North London
00:15:23.640 they specialise in cancer
00:15:25.640 I remember I went to visit her
00:15:27.640 and then
00:15:28.640 I think
00:15:30.640 yeah this is the hospital
00:15:32.640 she was last in
00:15:35.640 so she was in there
00:15:38.640 and
00:15:39.640 it was like a
00:15:40.640 hour drive
00:15:41.640 hour and a half drive
00:15:42.640 and my stepdad was like
00:15:44.640 oh yeah call your mum
00:15:45.640 because she's in that room there
00:15:46.640 and she can look out the window
00:15:48.640 whilst we're in the car park
00:15:50.640 so I called her up
00:15:51.640 the after I was like
00:15:52.640 me and my mum's relationship
00:15:53.640 like
00:15:54.640 we're both jokers with each other
00:15:55.640 you know what I mean
00:15:56.640 so
00:15:57.640 I called her up and I was like
00:15:58.640 mum look out the window
00:15:59.640 and then she was like
00:16:00.640 no
00:16:01.640 because it was a surprise I was coming
00:16:02.640 and then she was like
00:16:03.640 no
00:16:04.640 I goes yeah look out
00:16:05.640 and then she opened up the window
00:16:06.640 and she's like
00:16:07.640 you alright son?
00:16:08.640 and I was like
00:16:09.640 yeah what's going on mum
00:16:10.640 we'll be up in five minutes
00:16:11.640 so we parked up
00:16:12.640 went up the stairs
00:16:13.640 like
00:16:14.640 she just looked really good man
00:16:15.640 like
00:16:16.640 she didn't
00:16:17.640 she had a problem
00:16:18.640 she was like really happy to see me
00:16:19.640 I felt good
00:16:20.640 and
00:16:21.640 I remember she used to always complain about
00:16:24.640 when I get stressed out
00:16:25.640 I used to always let my hair grow
00:16:26.640 and she was just like
00:16:27.640 hey son I like when your hair is short
00:16:28.640 you look like my little boy
00:16:30.640 so then my hair was cut that day
00:16:33.640 so she brought that up
00:16:35.640 and said yeah that's my little boy
00:16:36.640 you know what I mean
00:16:37.640 but then just there
00:16:38.640 she was on the bed still
00:16:39.640 but she just looked fine
00:16:40.640 she didn't look like
00:16:41.640 she was going to die anytime soon
00:16:43.640 she looked fine
00:16:44.640 and then she goes
00:16:45.640 I've got something really bad to tell you
00:16:46.640 I was like what?
00:16:47.640 she goes
00:16:48.640 oh man something
00:16:49.640 something really happened
00:16:50.640 it scared me man
00:16:52.640 so you know
00:16:53.640 she said that
00:16:54.640 she was in a
00:16:55.640 she got caught in a bathroom one time
00:16:57.640 and then like
00:16:58.640 all of a sudden
00:16:59.640 she didn't have no air or anything
00:17:00.640 and then
00:17:01.640 her breath just went
00:17:03.640 she thought like
00:17:04.640 this was it
00:17:05.640 she was going to die
00:17:06.640 but anyway
00:17:07.640 just look at that story
00:17:08.640 she was just like
00:17:09.640 I really realised that
00:17:10.640 life is really precious
00:17:11.640 and I'm going to
00:17:12.640 once I get through this
00:17:14.640 she still had that mindset
00:17:15.640 I'm getting through it
00:17:16.640 once I get through this
00:17:17.640 I'm going to
00:17:18.640 sort out everything
00:17:20.640 like all the family issues
00:17:22.640 everything
00:17:23.640 she was going to sort it out
00:17:24.640 you know what I mean
00:17:25.640 so I was like yeah mum
00:17:26.640 so then
00:17:28.640 I left that
00:17:29.640 well we just had
00:17:30.640 really good conversations
00:17:31.640 just about life
00:17:32.640 and
00:17:35.640 she come out of that hospital again
00:17:37.640 and this was the best hospital for her
00:17:39.640 I remember
00:17:40.640 we used to just sit on the bed
00:17:42.640 at times
00:17:43.640 and she would just like
00:17:44.640 proper open up to me about
00:17:45.640 just about her
00:17:46.640 her childhood
00:17:47.640 life
00:17:48.640 and then she was just talking differently
00:17:51.640 even though it was mad
00:17:52.640 because she really thought
00:17:53.640 that she was going to be it
00:17:54.640 but she was like
00:17:56.640 she was just getting some inspiration
00:17:57.640 from someone
00:17:58.640 just dropping so much wisdom
00:17:59.640 on me
00:18:00.640 and advice
00:18:01.640 and life
00:18:02.640 about what I should do
00:18:03.640 with my talents
00:18:04.640 just everything
00:18:05.640 she was just giving me
00:18:06.640 really good tools
00:18:07.640 you know what I mean
00:18:08.640 what I should do for the family
00:18:09.640 she carried on telling me
00:18:10.640 like son
00:18:11.640 like out of the family
00:18:14.640 you're the strong one
00:18:15.640 I know you're the youngest
00:18:16.640 you're the strong one
00:18:18.640 so you're going to have to be
00:18:19.640 really strong
00:18:20.640 for your older brother
00:18:21.640 and sister
00:18:22.640 I feel like my brother
00:18:24.640 and sister's old
00:18:25.640 I mean
00:18:26.640 are strong
00:18:27.640 my brother's 39
00:18:28.640 my sister's 38
00:18:29.640 realistically
00:18:30.640 I want to be baby
00:18:31.640 I want to look to
00:18:32.640 I didn't really want to hear that
00:18:33.640 from my mum
00:18:34.640 like
00:18:35.640 that I'm going to have to be
00:18:36.640 the strong one
00:18:37.640 but like for her
00:18:38.640 I was just like
00:18:39.640 yeah man of course
00:18:40.640 anything
00:18:41.640 I don't know why
00:18:42.640 you're talking like that
00:18:43.640 you're not going to die
00:18:44.640 nothing
00:18:45.640 but yeah slowly
00:18:46.640 I could see her
00:18:47.640 getting worse and worse
00:18:48.640 and worse
00:18:49.640 the nights were really bad man
00:18:58.640 I used to cry myself to sleep
00:19:00.640 like hearing her
00:19:01.640 hearing her coughing
00:19:05.640 and it was like
00:19:06.640 such a horrible cough
00:19:07.640 and hearing the heavy breathing
00:19:09.640 of that machine
00:19:10.640 like it was terrible
00:19:12.640 so then she got taken up to my uncle's house
00:19:16.640 my uncle's quite good with like self remedies
00:19:18.640 and stuff like that
00:19:19.640 and he was just really working on her
00:19:20.640 and just really looking after her
00:19:22.640 giving her good massages
00:19:23.640 giving her all
00:19:25.640 all the kind of like
00:19:26.640 good treatment that she needed
00:19:27.640 and stuff
00:19:28.640 and then
00:19:29.640 I went
00:19:30.640 I went up and visited her
00:19:31.640 one day
00:19:32.640 and gave her that big smile
00:19:34.640 again
00:19:35.640 but this time
00:19:36.640 I could see there was a massive change in her health
00:19:39.640 and her mindset
00:19:40.640 like
00:19:41.640 she was slowly going back into her child
00:19:47.640 oh yeah things are coming back to her again
00:19:49.640 yeah before that
00:19:50.640 yeah I remember
00:19:51.640 she used to always come to me
00:19:52.640 and hold
00:19:53.640 like afterwards
00:19:54.640 she would say son come here
00:19:55.640 I'll come in my house after work
00:19:57.640 and she'll be like happy to see me
00:19:59.640 but
00:20:00.640 it wasn't happy to see me as a way
00:20:02.640 as if like that's my son
00:20:03.640 she was looking at me like I was her dad
00:20:05.640 or I'm her saviour
00:20:06.640 and she would say son come here come here
00:20:08.640 it'll just be me and her
00:20:10.640 she'd be like hold my hand
00:20:11.640 hold my hand
00:20:12.640 this ain't something
00:20:13.640 I really don't want to die
00:20:27.640 then I realise she was really panicking
00:20:29.640 you know what I mean
00:20:30.640 she really started thinking
00:20:31.640 she's going to die
00:20:32.640 like
00:20:33.640 this is my mum
00:20:34.640 she's telling me
00:20:35.640 that she don't want to die
00:20:36.640 and that was her
00:20:43.640 then she started
00:20:44.640 I could see her
00:20:45.640 she ended up becoming like a child
00:20:47.640 just crying all the time
00:20:49.640 and just saying I don't want to die
00:20:50.640 I don't want to die
00:20:51.640 I'm scared
00:20:52.640 I don't want to die
00:20:53.640 I've never ever ever ever
00:20:56.640 throughout my whole life
00:20:57.640 my whole life
00:20:59.640 see mum I'm scared
00:21:00.640 even all that rubbish we went through
00:21:08.640 you heard about the two gunshots
00:21:12.640 in my house and all that stuff
00:21:14.640 I've seen my mum like a bit frightened or a bit timid
00:21:18.640 but never scared like that
00:21:20.640 never scared
00:21:21.640 I've seen her confront grown men
00:21:23.640 men that claim to be the baddest men
00:21:26.640 like you know what I mean
00:21:27.640 big intimidating guys
00:21:29.640 I've seen my mum confront them
00:21:30.640 I've seen my mum confront groups of people
00:21:33.640 and then this time
00:21:36.640 there's nobody around
00:21:37.640 and she's telling me that she's scared
00:21:40.640 so then I realised
00:21:41.640 well she really does need help
00:21:42.640 so she's always just reminding them
00:21:44.640 why mum you're not going to die
00:21:46.640 you know what I did
00:21:47.640 she said tell me like
00:21:48.640 she's got a son if I do die
00:21:49.640 tell me how Muslims get buried again
00:21:51.640 because before
00:21:52.640 a few years before this by the way
00:21:54.640 a lot of people didn't know
00:21:55.640 she took a Shahada
00:21:56.640 a year before she got cancer
00:22:00.640 she'd become Muslim
00:22:04.640 she says she just loves the way of the life
00:22:08.640 and obviously she saw a big change in me
00:22:14.640 so yeah so she was just like
00:22:15.640 a son remind me
00:22:16.640 I remember a few years ago
00:22:17.640 I should tell her like
00:22:18.640 what it's like
00:22:19.640 that's a Muslim burial
00:22:20.640 she's like remind me
00:22:21.640 I was just like
00:22:22.640 I had to tell her
00:22:23.640 I was just like
00:22:24.640 I don't know why you want to hear it
00:22:25.640 but I'll tell you
00:22:26.640 I don't know like
00:22:27.640 for women
00:22:28.640 you know
00:22:29.640 no men touch you
00:22:30.640 it's only women that touch your body
00:22:32.640 she's like
00:22:33.640 I love that
00:22:34.640 they're so sacred
00:22:35.640 like I don't want no strings
00:22:36.640 men touching my body
00:22:37.640 she just had this shyness about her
00:22:40.640 you know what I mean
00:22:41.640 she told her
00:22:43.640 that her body will be
00:22:46.640 washed really gently
00:22:48.640 it will be perfumed
00:22:50.640 and her skin will be just treated
00:22:52.640 really softly
00:22:53.640 she's like
00:22:54.640 that's really nice
00:22:55.640 she's like
00:22:56.640 put a lot of lovely perfume
00:22:57.640 on your body
00:22:58.640 and wrap your body up
00:23:00.640 in these fresh white sheets
00:23:02.640 and no one can come and see you
00:23:05.640 no one but you won't just be open
00:23:08.640 you know
00:23:09.640 although when you're into the grave
00:23:10.640 and you'll be facing the Kaaba
00:23:12.640 or you'll be facing the Mecca
00:23:14.640 it's just like that
00:23:15.640 it's so beautiful
00:23:16.640 and then I'll tell her that when you're in the grave
00:23:20.640 all the good deeds you did
00:23:22.640 they will come to you in the form of a person or an angel
00:23:25.640 my mum loves angels
00:23:27.640 and I'll say all the good you did
00:23:29.640 that angel or that thing
00:23:31.640 will come to you in a beautiful fashion
00:23:33.640 that person or that angel will be smelling really nice
00:23:37.640 and remind you and tell you all the good things you did in this life
00:23:40.640 all the good things you did in this life
00:23:42.640 and he'll say
00:23:43.640 you see that spot over there
00:23:44.640 and there'll be a little window
00:23:46.640 that's your place in heaven
00:23:47.640 I'm saying
00:23:48.640 this is what I need
00:23:49.640 this is what I'm saying
00:23:50.640 this is why I love this religion
00:23:51.640 so anyway
00:23:53.640 her health started getting really bad
00:23:55.640 like I said
00:23:56.640 she ended up becoming a child
00:23:58.640 it's like she didn't really acknowledge me as her son anymore
00:24:01.640 she was just
00:24:03.640 I was just there
00:24:04.640 you know what I mean
00:24:05.640 me seeing that
00:24:06.640 it was just breaking me apart
00:24:08.640 breaking my brothers
00:24:09.640 my brother apart
00:24:10.640 and all my family was just broken
00:24:12.640 because my mum was very very strong
00:24:14.640 like she was the head of the whole family
00:24:16.640 yeah
00:24:29.640 yeah
00:24:30.640 there's just horrible parts man
00:24:32.640 I don't even want to get into it
00:24:33.640 like it's just
00:24:36.640 you know people just think
00:24:38.640 when someone dies
00:24:40.640 they just die
00:24:41.640 but
00:24:43.640 it's not an instant death
00:24:45.640 it was just
00:24:46.640 it was
00:24:47.640 it was a long stage
00:24:48.640 where you're seeing someone deteriorate
00:24:51.640 like
00:24:52.640 yeah
00:24:53.640 and you're
00:24:54.640 you're seeing your mum
00:24:55.640 die in front of you
00:24:56.640 slowly
00:24:57.640 like
00:24:58.640 you're seeing your mum
00:24:59.640 puke up
00:25:00.640 continuously
00:25:01.640 you know what I mean
00:25:02.640 you're seeing your mum
00:25:03.640 need help to go
00:25:04.640 to the toilet
00:25:05.640 you're seeing your mum
00:25:06.640 just mash up
00:25:07.640 just
00:25:08.640 weak
00:25:09.640 needing you to hold her
00:25:10.640 just to walk from here
00:25:11.640 to there
00:25:12.640 she needs
00:25:14.640 things that help
00:25:15.640 to breathe
00:25:16.640 but then
00:25:20.640 um
00:25:21.640 one day I was out with my friend
00:25:25.640 this was the 3rd of October
00:25:29.640 and I just carried on saying to my friend
00:25:31.640 today feels really weird
00:25:33.640 something's wrong
00:25:34.640 I just
00:25:35.640 something's wrong today
00:25:36.640 I just
00:25:37.640 something's wrong today
00:25:38.640 I don't know what it is
00:25:39.640 but my heart's just telling me something's wrong
00:25:41.640 it's got that feeling
00:25:42.640 that I didn't know what it was
00:25:44.640 but I swear throughout the whole day
00:25:45.640 I was just saying
00:25:46.640 something's wrong today
00:25:47.640 I don't know what's going on
00:25:48.640 then anyway
00:25:49.640 about um
00:25:50.640 seven o'clock
00:25:51.640 I've gone back to my house
00:25:54.640 and I've seen my um
00:25:58.640 my brother
00:25:59.640 and my sister's car outside
00:26:02.640 and
00:26:05.640 normally they'll be out doing whatever they were doing
00:26:07.640 but their cars ain't there
00:26:09.640 and
00:26:10.640 I've walked in the house
00:26:11.640 and
00:26:12.640 I've just seen my sister crying
00:26:14.640 and
00:26:15.640 I've just walked out
00:26:17.640 I don't even
00:26:18.640 I just walked like
00:26:19.640 in my drive
00:26:20.640 and
00:26:21.640 just pretty much just collapsed on the floor
00:26:22.640 just started crying my eyes out
00:26:24.640 because
00:26:25.640 I just took it that my mum's dead
00:26:28.640 I was dead
00:26:31.640 and
00:26:32.640 I
00:26:33.640 I got up
00:26:34.640 you know
00:26:35.640 this person
00:26:36.640 I got up
00:26:37.640 and I walked in my room
00:26:38.640 I walked back in my house
00:26:40.640 and my brother was just
00:26:42.640 helping proper time
00:26:43.640 just like
00:26:45.640 mum's got twelve hours to live
00:26:53.640 and I was just like
00:26:54.640 let's just go right now
00:26:55.640 let's go right now
00:26:57.640 He was like, come, let's go.
00:27:01.640 And then the journey was two hours away.
00:27:04.640 So he was like, yeah, at least we can go say goodbye.
00:27:07.640 You know what I mean?
00:27:09.640 So we're on our way up there, driving, driving.
00:27:13.640 My stepdad's already up there.
00:27:15.640 And he's like, come on, let's go.
00:27:17.640 We can all say our goodbyes and all that.
00:27:20.640 And just send our love and just don't make it seem horrible.
00:27:25.640 And so we've driven up there.
00:27:30.640 And by the time we got to the entrance of the hospital,
00:27:34.640 my stepdad just walked out.
00:27:36.640 And they said, why is this too late?
00:27:39.640 She's gone.
00:27:43.640 So we were expecting that we could say goodbye within 12 hours,
00:27:47.640 but within two hours, she was gone.
00:27:50.640 Didn't get to say nothing.
00:27:55.640 Not a single word.
00:28:04.640 No, I love you.
00:28:06.640 Or bite.
00:28:08.640 Or nothing.
00:28:10.640 What advice would you give to people listening to this, like,
00:28:19.640 the youth who are disobedient to their mothers, their fathers?
00:28:24.640 I don't even think it's people that are disobedient,
00:28:26.640 because everyone thinks that they love their parents so much.
00:28:29.640 That was one of them.
00:28:31.640 We all do it.
00:28:33.640 Every single one of us.
00:28:34.640 Even if we think we're the most righteous children.
00:28:37.640 If our parents are Muslim or not.
00:28:39.640 We all take the mick out of our parents.
00:28:44.640 All on different levels, obviously.
00:28:46.640 But all of us.
00:28:48.640 We all need to sort ourselves out.
00:28:53.640 I just remember one day.
00:28:55.640 I don't know what to say because I can never, like, I'm trying to imagine.
00:29:08.640 I'm trying to put myself in a situation and thinking if my mother went through that, what would I do?
00:29:14.640 Like, and it's like, my brain is giving me a shock of, like, don't even ask that.
00:29:19.640 Don't even put yourself in that situation.
00:29:21.640 Don't, like, like, if I can't even bear to think about it, I don't know how I can bear to go through it.
00:29:27.640 But one thing that I would say, Akiwallah, it's the biggest blessing, is that your mother accepted Islam.
00:29:33.640 Akiwallah, by Allah, I would give the whole wide world.
00:29:37.640 Yeah, because knowing that we all know our parents are going to die.
00:29:42.640 Like, we can die before them.
00:29:45.640 But for them to die is a, it's like a stab wound to your heart as it is.
00:29:51.640 Akiwallah, to know, and this is like, I don't mean to hurt people that are listening to this, that maybe their family hasn't accepted Islam.
00:29:59.640 Akiwallah, to know that your family, like, your parent didn't accept Islam.
00:30:06.640 Akiwallah, I don't know how I would have lived with it.
00:30:08.640 Yes, my parents are going to die. Maybe I'm going to die before them.
00:30:11.640 But, okay, to a point you can bear it, okay, to a point.
00:30:16.640 But knowing every day you wake up that your parents didn't accept Islam and died, like, that's one of the scariest things.
00:30:23.640 Akiwallah, I know it's a calamity, but, you know, I can say nothing but see it as a blessing in a way that she accepted Islam.
00:30:34.640 Akiwallah, I would give the whole wide world just for my parents to accept Islam.
00:30:39.640 Akiwallah, just, at least then I'm just like, look, at least, at least there is a chance that I can see them in there after.
00:30:46.640 Akiwallah, at least there's that chance. Do you get it?
00:30:48.640 Akiwallah, just keep that in mind that, you know, I was so happy when you said, like, obviously when you said your mum passed away, it obviously really hurt me.
00:30:58.640 But the fact that you said she had said Islam, akiwallah, it just called my heart down.
00:31:01.640 Like, I was like, I was so happy for you. Wallahi, by Allah, I was just like, because if you said to me she didn't, akiwallah, I was just like, I don't know what I would have done.
00:31:09.640 Wallahi, I'm being honest, I would have not be able to do this video. I could have not do this video.
00:31:13.640 There's no way I could have do this video and it's hard already as it is, but I could not do it. Wallahi, by Allah, I would not be able to do it.
00:31:22.640 But, yeah, man, I don't know. I just hope, like, this video, the whole point behind this video is for you guys to understand. Wallahi, by Allah, just understand the value of your parents.
00:31:33.640 I have times with my mum where I'm just like, you know, you get mad. Put yourself back in your place. You know, this is your mother. You know, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala said that he orders you to worship none other than him and to be in excellent behaviour to your mother and your father.
00:31:50.780 You know, this is the doors to Jannah. Wallahi, by Allah, your obedience to your family members, to your mum and dad is your doors to Jannah.
00:32:01.940 I can't really remember, I was looking for it before we started this, but there was a sahabi where he was so obedient to his mother and his father.
00:32:11.880 And when they passed away, he was crying so much and they were asking, why are you crying?
00:32:15.820 And it's like, my doors to Jannah have gone. My doors to Jannah have gone now.
00:32:21.300 But I did also see a narration as I was looking on the laptop, is that every Friday, every Friday if you go and, like, do du'a for them in their grave, it's like you're being obedient to them.
00:32:33.980 You know, and, like, you know, keep that in mind, Aki.
00:32:36.800 You know, you can still benefit them. You want to start your own charity, inshallah, like, I will be more than happy to help you in, inshallah.
00:32:46.120 And, brothers and sisters, Wallahi, I want to share a few narrations with you guys, is that Abdullah ibn Umar, once he was at the Kaaba and he saw a man, a Yemeni man circulating in the Kaaba with his mother on his shoulders.
00:32:56.760 And he was circulating, and as he's circulating, he's humiliating himself by saying, I am my mother's, like, camel.
00:33:03.740 I am my mother's camel, and he's going around, and he's going around.
00:33:07.040 And then after he did this, he came to Abdullah ibn Umar and said, oh, Abdullah ibn Umar, have I paid back what my mum did for me?
00:33:13.860 Abdullah ibn Umar said, you did not even pay back one uff she made when she was giving birth to you.
00:33:20.000 You did not pay back one time when she went uff when she was giving birth to you.
00:33:24.840 That one little pain. And also, there is another narration where a man who left his family came to the Prophet ï·º in war and said, oh, I've come to give you bayah and basically fight in your cause.
00:33:38.700 And he goes, I left my mother and father crying. And he said, return back to your mother and father and make them happy just the way you made them cry.
00:33:46.600 If the biggest form of, like, obedience and reward you want to get, go back and serve them.
00:33:53.020 And brothers and sisters, Wallahi, if you are, like, forget swearing, man. There's people today that are hitting their old mother, man.
00:34:02.060 The same mother who looked after you for nine months, brought you to this age.
00:34:07.300 Wallahi, I don't understand. I don't understand. What mentality are you serving, man?
00:34:11.040 The same mother who brought you up, you're lifting your hand to that. You're lifting your hand to her.
00:34:14.520 But just learn from my mistakes that if I could go back and just have, not even one day, if I could have one hour with my mum, what a lie.
00:34:24.120 I'm not joking you. I would just, I would not, I wouldn't, there's nothing I probably wouldn't do.
00:34:31.700 Like, I would just tell her I love her so much every single second, like, you lot still got that opportunity now just to turn to your mum.
00:34:39.520 Just saying, mum, I love you.
00:34:41.920 That's what all of us, like, all of us really need to fix up all our relationships to our parents.
00:34:46.380 And then, there are boys and girls out there that are swearing at their parents.
00:34:49.940 What are you doing?
00:34:51.920 What are you doing?
00:34:53.360 You're hitting your parents. What are you doing?
00:34:56.600 You just sort yourselves out.
00:34:58.760 Because that day when you're there blowing your mum in the grave or your father in the grave,
00:35:04.160 all those things are going to haunt you every single night from then on.
00:35:08.500 You will have dreams remembering.
00:35:10.660 And that's part of the punishment, I personally believe.
00:35:12.920 I'm not saying this in the Quran or anything like that.
00:35:14.960 But I feel that as part of the punishment of your disobedience to your parents,
00:35:20.420 of your rudeness and your negligence towards your parents,
00:35:23.920 that you will get flashbacks of how you were so rude and selfish towards your parents.
00:35:29.500 That when your parents asked for one simple favour, you couldn't be bothered.
00:35:33.420 You just wanted to muck around.
00:35:35.180 You just can't be bothered to do that for my mum.
00:35:37.780 We're only here for how long?
00:35:39.900 For how long?
00:35:41.640 But you can't be bothered just to do one simple thing for your parents.
00:35:44.960 You've got time for your friends.
00:35:46.460 You've got all these time for your friends.
00:35:47.940 Or this is the other thing that I notice a lot of us do as well.
00:35:51.920 Is that when you're out of your friends, you're all, like, you'd be extra patient with them.
00:35:56.460 Mr. Nice Guy and Mr. Nice Lady.
00:35:58.780 Extra patient with them.
00:35:59.840 Allow them to do their little things.
00:36:01.540 Allow them to do their little snidey remarks or, you know, they're over late.
00:36:05.580 And you would ignore their mistakes.
00:36:07.980 But see if your mum or your dad does one little thing, you're on to them.
00:36:11.080 Mum, man.
00:36:11.960 Why are you doing this for?
00:36:13.200 Dad, man.
00:36:15.260 How can you be extra patient with people that are other than your parents?
00:36:20.480 The people that raise you.
00:36:23.260 People that used to wipe you when you couldn't wipe yourself.
00:36:26.600 How do you do this?
00:36:29.500 So my brothers and my sisters, like, let's collectively do it.
00:36:32.140 Really think about it because, honestly, I'm only saying it to you like this.
00:36:35.440 It's because I don't want you lot to go through the hurt that I've gone through.
00:36:38.300 I want you lot to feel like, you know what, I was really good towards my mother.
00:36:42.440 And I was really good towards my father.
00:36:44.920 And they were proud of me.
00:36:47.220 How sinful is the youth that, you know, you speak harsh to your mother and you're gentle with your friends.
00:36:55.880 And not only that, one of the biggest things that hurt me so much, bro,
00:36:59.040 when your mother or father reaches old age and you put them in care homes.
00:37:04.580 I know, like, may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala know, obviously we're all going to go through this.
00:37:09.320 You know, may Allah make it easy for us because, you know, once they get older, they become like a child again.
00:37:14.480 You know, it's your turn to look after them.
00:37:16.400 And may Allah make it easier upon us.
00:37:17.880 It's not easy, I know.
00:37:19.240 How dare you, man?
00:37:20.520 Allah, how dare you put that same mother who's brought you to this age and put her in a care home?
00:37:25.720 I don't understand, man.
00:37:27.300 I don't understand.
00:37:27.700 Putting your wife before your parents or putting your husband before your parents.
00:37:31.840 Allah, I don't know.
00:37:32.540 What kind of a brain you're serving, I don't understand.
00:37:37.240 And Allah, I'm just being honest, man.
00:37:38.640 Like, I just, I truly believe whatever I have in life,
00:37:44.660 the very little, the contentment or the happiness or whatever it is,
00:37:48.440 it's the du'as of my mum.
00:37:50.120 It's the du'as of my mother.
00:37:51.200 Every time I leave the house, that she, she says, look, hope you have a beautiful day.
00:37:57.900 Hope God sends his blessings on you.
00:38:00.120 Well, like that.
00:38:00.800 Just leaving home hearing that, that's enough.
00:38:04.180 And Allah, if you want to bless life in this life and hereafter, obey your parents as much as you can.
00:38:09.540 And next time you ever think of saying anything, just say, if my mother or my father passed away today, how would I feel?
00:38:17.540 So I'm going to leave it at that, man.
00:38:18.960 There's nothing more needs to be said.
00:38:21.580 And Shakur, I really appreciate it.
00:38:23.060 Thank you very much for sharing your story, even though how hard it is, both for you and me.
00:38:28.140 But please benefit from this video and share it.
00:38:31.460 You know, we are not doing these videos for your entertainment, for you to just watch it for the sake of it.
00:38:36.900 If you truly, truly want to benefit, implement what you've heard today.
00:38:41.120 Implement it.
00:38:41.580 Don't just get a high Iman and then, yeah, okay, cry.
00:38:44.720 We don't need you to cry.
00:38:45.800 Don't cry.
00:38:46.660 We don't need you to cry on the finger.
00:38:48.060 And yeah, if you're going to cry and go back to the same thing, don't cry.
00:38:51.880 Don't cry.
00:38:53.020 Change your ways.
00:38:53.760 Just say, look, okay, it's affected me.
00:38:56.020 I'm going to try to better myself.
00:38:57.460 No matter what it is, giving it, whatever, man, whatever to your parents.
00:39:02.280 Please, do it sincerely.
00:39:04.480 So, that's about it, guys.
00:39:06.060 Please share the video with other people, inshallah, they benefit as well.
00:39:12.180 And yeah, that's about it from us.
00:39:13.360 May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant every single one of you guys.
00:39:15.580 Jannah.
00:39:16.260 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
00:39:27.560 Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
00:39:29.260 Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot ad-a-do.
00:39:31.940 Na-na-na.
00:39:33.440 Na-na-na-na-na-na.
00:39:35.060 To be continued...
00:39:46.580 All right.
00:39:54.800 All right.