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Ali Dawah
THE REALITY 12 || Why marry a divorcee??
Episode Stats
Misogynist Sentences
22
Hate Speech Sentences
55
Summary
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.
Transcript
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Whisper
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turbo
).
Misogyny classification is done with
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Hate speech classification is done with
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.
00:00:00.000
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends
00:00:27.760
Hope you guys are doing well, welcome to this video
00:00:30.360
Obviously before I start I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:00:33.340
The most merciful, the most just, all praises, glory and gratitude belong to Him
00:00:36.440
My voice might sound a little bit different because I'm a bit ill
00:00:39.600
But obviously as you guys know this topic is a very serious topic
00:00:43.180
And it's a matter that I really wanted to do for such a long time
00:00:46.080
But Qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:00:47.520
Allah you know destined it that I do it with this amazing brother
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You know because I've been meaning to do it for a long time
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But it's been postponed etc etc
00:00:56.300
And subhanAllah you know somebody told me about you
00:00:58.660
And I thought this is the guy I'm supposed to do this with, do you get it?
00:01:01.800
So alhamdulillah we're going to come to your story later
00:01:03.540
But obviously as we know with the matters of divorced sisters
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And how they're treated in this society
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Like I feel ashamed to use this word
00:01:11.720
Wallahi I really feel ashamed to use this word
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But they are treated like prostitutes
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Like there's something filthy, disgusting
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Like when you say oh you're a divorcee
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It's like oh you know okay you know
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I might marry you as a second
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Or you know I might want to do this
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And I genuinely know there's brothers out there who do it for genuine reasons
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But I'm talking about those individuals who look down on divorced sisters
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And not only divorced sisters who you know get divorced without like you know
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Things that work out which is normal
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But also the sisters who are divorced and they have a child
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Which is even worse now
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They're like oh you know that excess baggage etc
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And it's so sad wallahi because when we look at the sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam
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Majority of his wives were divorcees or widows
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You know
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And at the time of the messenger
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The sahaba would, you know they would race with each other to marry somebody
00:02:00.100
Because at the day not only, like I personally believe
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Like some people in this society think oh you're doing that sister a favour
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No, wallahi she's doing you a favour
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The fact that you're going to marry her
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And be a father figure for a child is not hard
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I mean it's not easy
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It's hard like it's something
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It's hard, it's not every man's job to do that
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Do you hear what I'm trying to say?
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It takes a real man to do that
00:02:21.580
You know
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It's not easy
00:02:22.800
It's easy for you to say oh I'll do this, I'll do that
00:02:24.720
Wallahi
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The sister is a blessing upon you
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The fact that you're going to look after her
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Especially in this society when
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This cultural thing
00:02:35.000
Wallahi
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I personally like
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For the sake of Allah
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I hate it
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This cultural thing
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This oh she's this colour
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She's not from my caste
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She's not from my tribe
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Wallahi discuss me
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I'm being honest yeah
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Like when I mean culture
00:02:48.120
I'm not talking about your cultural things
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That's karma
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You know I like you know
00:02:50.960
Biryani and all this kind of stuff
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That side of your culture
00:02:53.560
Nobody's got a problem with
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But the fact that
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They look down on divorced sisters
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Wallahi
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It really upsets me
00:03:00.100
And like I said
00:03:00.520
It's a video that I'm really passionate about
00:03:02.300
And it's so sad
00:03:03.340
And like I said before
00:03:03.940
The Sahaba
00:03:05.080
The companions of the Prophet
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Peace be upon it
00:03:06.720
They would
00:03:07.040
They would die
00:03:08.720
You know like
00:03:09.440
Like to marry somebody
00:03:10.620
That's divorced
00:03:11.340
They had nothing
00:03:11.860
No issues like that
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But in today's society
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You know
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If we go to people
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And be like
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Oh like you know
00:03:17.720
What do you love about the Sunnah
00:03:19.000
Or the Prophet Muhammad
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Peace be upon it
00:03:20.340
A lot of people will say
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You know
00:03:21.280
I like this
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I like that
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Blah blah blah
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This that
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But they would never ever say
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Okay
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You know like
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If we were to go and ask them
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You know
00:03:27.600
Would you marry a divorcee
00:03:29.560
And a lot of brothers
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That they want to
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And I hear these stories a lot
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They want to
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But they say
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Ah
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But when I tell my family
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What
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You're going to marry a divorcee
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You know
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Can't you do something better
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And it's so sad
00:03:39.700
The reason why I said that
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It's a perfect timing
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That you're here
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And you're doing this
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And obviously
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You guys might recognize
00:03:46.480
A brother from a
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Video from
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Digital member
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Yeah which you can see
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On the screen
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As you can see
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But you can watch that later
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And there's going to be
00:03:52.320
A link at the end
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Inshallah
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And you must watch it
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Because alhamdulillah
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When I first watched it
00:03:57.420
It really affected me
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And changed me for the better
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In certain ways
00:04:01.500
So you can watch that video
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Afterwards
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But stick to this firstly
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So
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Brother Aiba
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May Allah bless you firstly
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Wallahi I've been like
00:04:09.200
Wanting to meet you
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For a long time
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So like the
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Qadr of Allah
00:04:12.680
Yeah
00:04:13.400
To be honest Aki
00:04:14.340
Like
00:04:14.640
What we're going to do
00:04:16.380
With brother Aiman
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Is we're going to go through
00:04:17.600
Because obviously
00:04:17.980
Brother Aiman is married
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To a divorced sister
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May Allah
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Grant her Jannah
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May Allah
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Reward you Aki
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For what you're doing
00:04:25.680
You know
00:04:26.220
Like I said
00:04:27.020
Not that there's anything
00:04:28.040
Wrong to do
00:04:28.520
But in today's society
00:04:29.480
Because they've made it
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Such a thing
00:04:31.200
So Aki
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Like
00:04:33.440
How did it happen
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Like right
00:04:35.580
Like obviously
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I don't want it to be like
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Okay how did you be
00:04:37.620
Etc
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But you know
00:04:39.120
What is the pros
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And the cons
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Like obviously
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I'm sure you don't
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But like
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You know
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Do you regret it
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Do you think
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Like you give me
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That bit of feedback
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Number one thing
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I'm going to start off
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By saying
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Which you said
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Which is a blessing
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Because you need to
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Understand here
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That the Vusi
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That sister
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Has already been
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In a marriage
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She knows the good things
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And the bad things
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The positive
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And the negative things
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So for her to still
00:05:13.960
Choose you
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After she's been
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Through a negative marriage
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That means a lot
00:05:18.220
That says
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Everything
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Itself
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You understand
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So at the end of the day
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You know
00:05:23.600
For her to know
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For her to be
00:05:25.520
Like most sisters
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Nowadays get forced
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Into marriage
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And this is a major thing
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They get culture
00:05:30.280
Mixed up with the deen
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And that's also
00:05:32.400
A major sin
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That's culture
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Culture
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Nothing to do
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With the Islam
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So at the end of the day
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It's a blessing
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That the sister
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One
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You know
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She's much older than me
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You know
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She's 27
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Alhamdulillah
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She got a beautiful child
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You know
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And she's got
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A beautiful soul
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And I'm grateful
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That she accepted me
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Out of every single
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Every single person
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In the dunya
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To accept me
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To be that father figure
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Like you said
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For her child
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Like I've already
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Explained to her
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That I can't be
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The child's father
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But I'm going to try
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My best to be
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The best person
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I can be towards him
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And that's what I'm saying
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So Alhamdulillah
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The positive things
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Are basically
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She completes your deen
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This is
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This is something
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That people are forgetting
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Not your mother
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Not your father
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Your mother is the
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Gates to Jannah
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But she doesn't
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Complete your deen
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Your father
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Your siblings
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And your family
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None of these people
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Complete your deen
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That's what people
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Need to understand
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And I've lost a lot
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Of people regarding
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This issue
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To be honest
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And some people
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Are close to me
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Some people
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Why did you lose them
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What was the reason
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Because at the end
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Of the day
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The Iman
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Was at a level
00:06:40.220
Where I've passed
00:06:41.400
So long ago
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They
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They
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They
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They were asking me
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Questions like
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Why are you
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With an older person
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And she's older than you
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Yeah
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No she's 27
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I'm 22 years old
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And
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Jazakallah
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But
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Like
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What can I say
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Is
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They were like
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How can you be
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With a sister
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Thus
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Divorced
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Number one
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Divorced
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Number one
00:07:05.560
Is divorced
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Number one
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Is the age
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Number two
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Is her colour skin
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She's a natural
00:07:10.700
You know
00:07:12.320
Colour of Arab
00:07:13.120
Which is like
00:07:13.780
Brown skin
00:07:14.760
Golden skin
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This Arab
00:07:16.540
This colour
00:07:17.400
That we have now
00:07:18.220
Is just
00:07:18.560
Something that
00:07:19.360
Died down a very long
00:07:20.440
Time ago
00:07:20.920
But people mistake
00:07:21.840
My colour
00:07:22.400
As the natural Arab
00:07:23.740
Which is not true
00:07:24.460
Well a lot of them
00:07:25.060
You've got sisters
00:07:25.740
In the Arab country
00:07:27.100
That power their face
00:07:28.440
It's like they're sponsored
00:07:29.360
By super drug on boots
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The amount of makeup
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They put on
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You understand what I'm saying
00:07:33.040
That's even sad
00:07:33.860
Because these sisters
00:07:34.400
Are pressurized to think
00:07:35.320
This colour
00:07:36.280
Or I have to be this colour
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Because this is accepted
00:07:38.460
Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:07:39.160
Like even those certain sisters
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We feel sorry for
00:07:41.380
Because
00:07:41.680
Your culture has made you think
00:07:43.100
Okay I have to be this colour
00:07:44.300
So I can fit in
00:07:45.200
And then they
00:07:45.580
Like it's sad
00:07:46.600
You see this
00:07:47.020
And we don't mean in any way
00:07:48.240
Of mocking sisters in a hijab
00:07:49.360
But it's sad
00:07:50.280
Like you look at some sisters
00:07:51.200
Like obviously you should know it again
00:07:52.620
But what I'm trying to say
00:07:53.200
Is their hands are like white
00:07:54.320
And they look at the faces
00:07:55.020
Like different colour
00:07:56.620
And it's sad
00:07:58.060
Because why
00:07:58.520
Because they think
00:07:59.140
This is superior
00:07:59.800
I have to be pale
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I have to be lighter skin
00:08:01.660
No
00:08:02.020
We should be proud of
00:08:02.920
Allah SWT has created
00:08:03.640
Every single one of us
00:08:04.780
In a unique way
00:08:05.900
And we should be proud of that
00:08:06.880
I'm sorry to
00:08:07.480
And what I wanted to say
00:08:09.760
Like you said
00:08:10.320
Which is
00:08:10.660
You know
00:08:11.240
The number one thing
00:08:12.560
Is it's a blessing
00:08:14.040
Take
00:08:14.500
You know
00:08:14.900
You have to be grateful
00:08:15.720
That a sister
00:08:16.380
That's divorced
00:08:17.220
That's gone through a marriage
00:08:18.960
Allah will know
00:08:19.980
If it was good or bad
00:08:21.140
But she's experienced
00:08:22.140
Obviously it turned out to be
00:08:23.520
For the negative part of things
00:08:25.620
Because it ended up
00:08:26.480
In her being divorced
00:08:27.660
So you know
00:08:28.920
It's a blessing
00:08:29.520
That she's been in a marriage
00:08:30.820
And she's chose me
00:08:32.280
Out of every single person
00:08:34.040
In the dunya
00:08:34.420
Chose me
00:08:35.040
To be that father figure
00:08:36.540
To her child
00:08:37.220
She chose me
00:08:38.060
To spend the rest of her life
00:08:39.200
With her
00:08:39.420
Most importantly
00:08:40.060
For me to complete her deen
00:08:42.120
That's so beautiful
00:08:43.000
I'm sorry
00:08:43.440
I'm cutting you
00:08:44.260
But you know what's so beautiful
00:08:45.600
Is the fact that you're saying
00:08:46.660
She chose me
00:08:48.140
Because a lot of times
00:08:49.220
People be like
00:08:49.760
Oh I chose you
00:08:50.640
Like I did a favour
00:08:51.820
And you was divorced
00:08:52.740
And you're older than me
00:08:54.060
And I married you
00:08:54.940
But subhanAllah
00:08:55.440
Like I can see from you
00:08:56.520
Like this is not staged
00:08:57.460
Did I ask you to say this
00:08:58.240
You're saying to me
00:08:59.840
Like she chose me
00:09:00.880
Which is so beautiful
00:09:01.660
This is something that
00:09:02.640
Relaxed
00:09:03.740
This is exactly what it is
00:09:05.960
She chose me
00:09:06.880
And what you understand
00:09:08.240
She didn't
00:09:09.360
You know
00:09:09.660
She chose me for who I am
00:09:11.880
I've had a bad past
00:09:13.640
I've been
00:09:14.440
You know
00:09:14.680
I've had ups and downs
00:09:16.000
And plus with the condition
00:09:17.420
That I'm in now
00:09:18.120
You know
00:09:18.300
I've been stabbed
00:09:19.040
And I've got a colostomy bag
00:09:21.220
And this is something
00:09:21.900
That's very severe to me
00:09:23.080
I've got nerve damage
00:09:24.000
On the left side of my body
00:09:25.540
Like
00:09:25.780
Does she really
00:09:27.000
Have to go with someone
00:09:28.260
That's handicapped
00:09:29.500
Because I'm classed
00:09:30.140
As a handicapped person
00:09:31.300
You know
00:09:31.620
And
00:09:32.080
You're more
00:09:33.440
Strengthening
00:09:34.100
When you shake my hand
00:09:34.940
I thought you were going to
00:09:35.380
Break it for a second
00:09:35.940
May Allah bless you
00:09:37.100
But alhamdulillah
00:09:38.280
You know what I'm saying
00:09:38.680
It's the whole concept
00:09:40.280
Of basically
00:09:41.320
Brothers
00:09:42.340
Their iman is really low
00:09:44.120
But at the end of the day
00:09:44.960
The sisters have
00:09:46.060
You know
00:09:47.000
They've got a ton as well
00:09:48.240
You understand what I'm saying
00:09:48.940
They need to know
00:09:50.240
How to use that
00:09:51.080
And they need to really
00:09:52.980
Really
00:09:53.880
Let their words
00:09:55.300
Penetrate your heart
00:09:56.280
You understand what I'm saying
00:09:56.960
And this is exactly
00:09:57.840
What the sister did
00:09:58.640
Before
00:09:59.460
Before she
00:10:00.480
Before she
00:10:02.500
Accepted me
00:10:03.600
She wanted to know
00:10:04.920
Real things about me
00:10:06.780
She really
00:10:07.780
Wanted to know
00:10:08.460
Me itself
00:10:09.060
You understand
00:10:09.360
My soul
00:10:10.200
And since I've been
00:10:11.440
With the sister
00:10:12.800
22 years of my life
00:10:14.220
I've never been this closer
00:10:15.480
To Allah
00:10:15.860
I've never in my life
00:10:17.520
I used to pray
00:10:19.300
Like you said
00:10:19.760
You know
00:10:19.960
You could do your basics
00:10:20.960
Pray five times a day
00:10:22.540
Do zakah a day and then
00:10:24.260
But for me to be
00:10:25.640
A hundred percent
00:10:26.440
Because I
00:10:26.960
You know
00:10:27.300
There were certain sins
00:10:28.920
In the society
00:10:29.620
In the environment
00:10:30.140
We live in
00:10:30.760
We tend
00:10:31.700
It's hard for us
00:10:32.480
To leave certain sins
00:10:33.840
Behind the inside
00:10:34.560
Because you're so used to it
00:10:35.700
But Wallahi
00:10:36.580
When she came alone
00:10:37.740
Akhi
00:10:38.120
She
00:10:38.480
She
00:10:39.760
Destroyed her
00:10:42.040
You get lost for words
00:10:43.740
When I was watching the video
00:10:44.620
You know when I was watching
00:10:45.680
You're just like
00:10:46.280
My wife
00:10:47.460
And Wallahi
00:10:48.420
It melted my heart
00:10:49.340
When I would see that
00:10:49.980
Like even now
00:10:50.880
You just seem like
00:10:51.380
You're lost for words
00:10:51.980
It's like
00:10:52.320
May Allah
00:10:53.040
Reunite you guys
00:10:55.260
In Jannah
00:10:55.720
So how was your family
00:10:59.820
Akhi
00:11:00.140
Like you know
00:11:00.660
Obviously
00:11:01.660
You weren't ahead
00:11:02.720
With a marriage
00:11:03.120
But
00:11:03.400
What was the reaction
00:11:05.120
With the family
00:11:05.540
The number one thing
00:11:06.540
I had to
00:11:07.000
Mention to my family
00:11:08.700
Is that
00:11:09.260
One
00:11:09.740
I'm gonna be
00:11:10.240
Living with this person
00:11:11.520
You're not gonna be
00:11:12.320
Living with us
00:11:13.080
And number two
00:11:13.860
Which is most important
00:11:15.060
Is this person
00:11:16.400
Is gonna complete
00:11:17.560
My deal
00:11:18.280
That's the most important thing
00:11:19.740
She's brought me closer
00:11:20.900
To Allah
00:11:21.260
Even when
00:11:22.540
She was a brood
00:11:23.940
Wallahi
00:11:24.420
She used to wake
00:11:25.400
Even though it's a four hour difference
00:11:26.840
Where she's ahead of us
00:11:27.720
Wallahi
00:11:28.260
She used to wake me up
00:11:29.440
For fajr
00:11:29.940
This is a wife
00:11:31.580
This
00:11:31.780
Where
00:11:32.360
Where do we find
00:11:33.880
Women like this
00:11:34.620
In today's society
00:11:36.520
Now
00:11:36.800
The question is
00:11:37.500
Because a lot
00:11:37.920
The time
00:11:38.440
What advice would you give
00:11:39.760
To a brother
00:11:40.180
Obviously look
00:11:40.640
We need to respect the parents
00:11:41.960
Yeah
00:11:42.260
And it's not like
00:11:43.600
We're giving some fatwa here
00:11:44.500
But what would you give
00:11:45.440
Advice to that brother
00:11:46.280
Who's on that
00:11:46.940
Like he wants a married sister
00:11:47.980
That's divorced
00:11:48.580
You know what I'm trying to say
00:11:49.460
But the parents
00:11:50.820
Or there's been issues
00:11:51.660
Being caused
00:11:52.220
Like what advice
00:11:53.440
Would you give
00:11:54.320
Obviously
00:11:54.800
Like what would you say to them
00:11:56.620
Like they're on that verge
00:11:57.440
And they're like
00:11:57.800
My parents are causing
00:11:58.820
This big issue
00:11:59.560
If I go ahead
00:12:00.380
Like what advice
00:12:01.400
Would you give them
00:12:01.860
When my family
00:12:02.540
Didn't want nothing
00:12:03.340
You know
00:12:04.220
My father
00:12:05.660
Till this day now
00:12:06.560
To be honest
00:12:07.020
He still
00:12:07.480
I tend
00:12:08.280
I try my hardest
00:12:09.840
To salam him
00:12:10.560
He doesn't want to
00:12:11.800
Salam me back
00:12:12.420
By the end of the day
00:12:13.220
I can't cut my ties
00:12:14.520
With my father
00:12:15.120
Do you understand what I'm saying
00:12:15.960
I haven't picked my woman
00:12:17.240
Over my father
00:12:18.360
But at the end of the day
00:12:19.160
It's my woman
00:12:19.820
That completes my deed
00:12:21.100
Not my father
00:12:21.960
Do you understand what I'm saying
00:12:22.860
No mashallah
00:12:24.060
Yeah and
00:12:25.320
Subhanallah
00:12:25.740
Like sometimes I would
00:12:26.820
You know
00:12:27.980
There is people
00:12:28.700
That message our team
00:12:29.420
Regarding this
00:12:29.940
I'm a divorced
00:12:30.580
Sister
00:12:31.420
Etc etc
00:12:32.480
Like
00:12:32.880
When these communities
00:12:34.640
And these backward
00:12:35.660
Thinking individuals
00:12:37.120
Yeah
00:12:37.360
Like when they look down
00:12:38.740
At these sisters
00:12:39.620
Well I
00:12:39.940
I look at these sisters
00:12:41.220
I swear to God
00:12:41.920
I don't think
00:12:42.920
There is not many brothers
00:12:44.620
That they can do
00:12:45.320
What they do
00:12:45.940
You're a mother
00:12:47.000
And you're a father
00:12:47.720
You're looking after that child
00:12:48.900
You have to provide for that child
00:12:49.940
You have to work
00:12:50.780
Clothe them
00:12:51.640
Look after the house
00:12:52.820
Which one of you brothers
00:12:54.320
Like I'm just being honest
00:12:55.760
Which one of you brothers
00:12:56.620
Can do that
00:12:57.220
It's hard
00:12:58.000
It takes
00:12:58.440
I know there's brothers out there
00:12:59.360
Who's lost their wife
00:13:00.100
It's hard upon them
00:13:01.000
Do you know what I'm trying to say
00:13:01.680
But seriously
00:13:02.540
When I look at these sisters
00:13:03.760
Who are divorced
00:13:04.900
Well I just see like
00:13:05.900
They're doing
00:13:06.320
The real form of
00:13:07.960
Jihad
00:13:08.500
Before you guys
00:13:09.700
Going to Mad One
00:13:10.260
Struggling
00:13:11.100
Striving
00:13:11.760
This is struggling
00:13:13.160
Striving
00:13:13.620
And who are you
00:13:14.960
With your little brain
00:13:15.940
Backwarded
00:13:16.540
Disgusting brain
00:13:17.860
Looking at sisters
00:13:19.100
Who are divorced
00:13:19.660
And
00:13:19.860
You know
00:13:20.580
I'm doing a favour
00:13:21.220
If I marry
00:13:21.660
Who do you think you are
00:13:22.540
She's doing you a favour
00:13:23.520
You know
00:13:24.200
It really saddens me
00:13:25.400
And like I said
00:13:26.840
I see these sisters as soldiers
00:13:28.200
I'm being honest
00:13:28.760
I've seen it
00:13:29.960
In this time of society
00:13:31.520
Where it's sexualised
00:13:33.320
Look
00:13:33.680
Everyone has needs
00:13:34.820
These sisters are treated
00:13:36.120
Like they're some kind of
00:13:37.220
Disgusting being
00:13:38.180
And they still stand their ground
00:13:40.220
Look after their child
00:13:41.260
Be a mother and fatherly figure
00:13:42.580
And do everything for them
00:13:44.020
And then you have these
00:13:45.220
Backwarded individuals
00:13:46.700
And brothers
00:13:47.300
Acting like
00:13:48.300
Oh yeah
00:13:48.800
Like you know
00:13:49.600
Yeah like I'm doing something
00:13:50.720
Wallahi you're not
00:13:51.420
And I salute these sisters
00:13:52.720
I'm just being honest
00:13:53.640
Straight to the heart
00:13:54.400
And I'm not saying it for any reason
00:13:55.780
Wallahi
00:13:56.300
I salute you
00:13:57.100
Sisters who are out there
00:13:57.780
Struggling
00:13:58.460
And inshallah
00:13:59.220
May Allah give you guys patience
00:14:00.240
Because it's not easy
00:14:01.040
Because I really mean this
00:14:02.380
Because these sisters out there
00:14:03.320
They struggle
00:14:04.000
You know
00:14:04.560
They strive really really hard
00:14:05.940
And I've seen it
00:14:06.560
Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:14:07.580
That's why
00:14:08.280
When I see brothers like you
00:14:09.260
Wallahi Aki
00:14:09.740
You know
00:14:10.400
I look up to people like you
00:14:12.140
You know
00:14:12.360
Because it's not easy
00:14:13.840
Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:14:14.460
But it's anything
00:14:15.220
That you want to leave
00:14:16.140
The viewers with
00:14:16.840
Both
00:14:17.500
Sisters who are divorced
00:14:18.800
And brothers who
00:14:20.360
Anything that you want to leave them with
00:14:22.380
Okay finish off
00:14:23.220
First of all
00:14:24.280
I want to say to the sisters
00:14:25.160
Like
00:14:25.720
Like the brother said
00:14:26.620
I salute you too
00:14:27.580
And what I want to say is
00:14:30.040
Whatever you're doing
00:14:31.240
Carry on doing it
00:14:32.440
Don't change anything about it
00:14:33.760
Do not
00:14:34.120
Do not change yourself
00:14:35.440
For another man
00:14:36.260
Whatsoever
00:14:37.060
Let the man
00:14:38.120
Change himself
00:14:39.060
For the sake of Allah
00:14:39.940
For you
00:14:40.340
And for you only
00:14:41.040
Nothing else
00:14:42.320
And for the
00:14:43.820
We need to understand
00:14:45.220
For sisters nowadays
00:14:46.340
To accept you
00:14:47.100
For who you are
00:14:47.720
For your past
00:14:48.400
Says a lot about them
00:14:49.960
And for the sister
00:14:50.940
For my wife
00:14:51.960
To accept me
00:14:52.420
For who I am
00:14:52.900
And then sometimes
00:14:53.600
She clothes me
00:14:54.980
And bathed me
00:14:55.680
And even changed
00:14:56.380
My colostrum
00:14:56.900
That
00:14:57.420
Most sisters
00:14:59.920
Wouldn't do that
00:15:00.540
You understand
00:15:00.760
What I'm saying
00:15:01.080
I'll keep myself
00:15:02.660
Away
00:15:02.880
But for a divorce
00:15:04.000
Sister
00:15:04.480
To choose you
00:15:05.620
Over everything
00:15:06.440
Then
00:15:06.760
Wallah
00:15:07.140
You shouldn't
00:15:07.880
Change a bit
00:15:08.560
About yourself
00:15:09.060
Let the man
00:15:09.620
Accept you
00:15:10.100
For who you are
00:15:10.740
And if he really
00:15:12.120
Loves you
00:15:12.520
And he really
00:15:13.100
Thinks that you
00:15:13.960
Complete his deen
00:15:14.800
Then he will
00:15:15.220
Fight for you
00:15:15.860
And for the brothers
00:15:17.420
I think you don't
00:15:18.680
Need to grow up
00:15:19.440
Like your imans
00:15:20.980
You need to work
00:15:21.560
On your iman
00:15:22.060
You need to work
00:15:22.600
On your dikha
00:15:23.140
You need to remember
00:15:23.900
Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:15:24.660
And every single
00:15:25.340
Thing you do
00:15:26.880
And you really
00:15:28.280
Just need to grow up
00:15:29.240
I'm 22 years old
00:15:30.720
But the relationship
00:15:32.600
That I've had with my wife
00:15:33.600
Because I've been
00:15:34.120
Married for six months now
00:15:35.460
Alhamdulillah
00:15:36.120
The relationship
00:15:37.560
I have with my wife
00:15:38.320
Now yeah
00:15:38.800
Is better than relationships
00:15:40.240
That married couple
00:15:41.360
Have had for ten years
00:15:42.480
Do you understand
00:15:43.620
So even though
00:15:45.540
It's made me lose
00:15:46.260
People out of my life
00:15:47.080
But at the end of the day
00:15:47.640
It's for the best
00:15:49.200
It's for the best
00:15:50.560
You get what I'm saying
00:15:51.320
So that's the only
00:15:52.100
Advice I can give you
00:15:53.240
And basically
00:15:54.380
I just want to
00:15:55.140
You know
00:15:55.560
It's like I said
00:15:57.940
It's a pleasure
00:15:58.400
It's a pleasure
00:15:59.760
Yeah come in man
00:16:00.460
You see how we come to
00:16:01.000
With that scooter
00:16:01.420
Woo
00:16:01.760
No
00:16:03.020
Yes
00:16:03.440
Make some room
00:16:05.440
A lot of people
00:16:06.920
They found
00:16:07.400
Obviously a funny
00:16:08.160
What
00:16:08.440
Okay come here
00:16:09.120
Come here
00:16:09.380
Come here
00:16:11.000
No it's okay
00:16:11.760
A lot of people
00:16:13.060
They obviously
00:16:13.440
It's okay
00:16:15.040
They don't know
00:16:15.600
Who I am
00:16:15.980
Man
00:16:16.160
We're gonna put
00:16:17.720
A picture of him
00:16:18.360
Okay okay
00:16:20.220
Basically
00:16:20.600
A lot of
00:16:21.680
A lot of parents
00:16:22.240
They frown upon it
00:16:23.220
But obviously
00:16:24.380
It's a big
00:16:24.980
Not gamble
00:16:26.080
But it's a big
00:16:26.880
Risk that you're taking
00:16:28.600
Not risk
00:16:29.040
But choice
00:16:29.920
You're making
00:16:30.420
Do I like
00:16:31.640
Lose a lot
00:16:32.920
Of the respect
00:16:33.720
Not a respect
00:16:34.240
But a lot of
00:16:34.820
The relationship
00:16:35.340
I have with my parents
00:16:36.060
Of a woman
00:16:37.140
That I don't know yet
00:16:38.420
Or do I
00:16:39.780
Stick with
00:16:40.860
You know
00:16:42.040
My principle
00:16:42.580
That I don't mind
00:16:43.220
Marrying a divorced sister
00:16:44.120
What do you advise
00:16:45.980
Because there's a lot
00:16:46.680
Of brothers that
00:16:47.040
Want to do it
00:16:47.620
Because they like
00:16:48.180
The idea of one
00:16:49.220
Someone who's experienced
00:16:50.400
Someone who's got children
00:16:51.500
And someone who's
00:16:52.360
Obviously a lot older
00:16:53.460
As well
00:16:53.980
To be honest
00:16:54.580
Now to be honest
00:16:56.160
If my parents
00:16:57.520
Are telling me
00:16:58.080
Not to marry someone
00:16:58.900
Because of the
00:16:59.960
So reason
00:17:00.540
Oh she's a divorce
00:17:01.300
She has a child
00:17:01.760
I'm sorry
00:17:02.200
I love you
00:17:03.320
Mum dad
00:17:03.980
I love you
00:17:04.720
Call me anytime
00:17:05.840
But if you're going
00:17:06.820
To be like
00:17:07.200
Her colour
00:17:08.220
Or she's this
00:17:09.180
Or she's that
00:17:09.680
Aki I'm being honest
00:17:10.540
You need to stick around
00:17:11.160
My family
00:17:12.120
They had an issue
00:17:14.660
Like okay
00:17:15.200
You marrying somebody
00:17:16.340
That wears the hijab
00:17:17.440
Or this that
00:17:18.080
They had an issue with Aki
00:17:18.920
Aki I stuck to my ground
00:17:20.100
I said look mum dad
00:17:21.020
I love you guys
00:17:21.700
But this is what I want
00:17:22.660
Today
00:17:23.280
They accepted it
00:17:24.200
They okay with it
00:17:24.860
Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:17:25.580
So I think that's not a reason
00:17:26.880
Aki
00:17:27.140
But I respect what you're coming from
00:17:28.520
Obviously then it's your parents
00:17:29.580
Causing that commotion
00:17:30.720
It changes from person to person
00:17:31.920
Yeah
00:17:32.400
Yeah I just want to add some balance
00:17:35.240
To what you said though
00:17:35.800
Before I said that
00:17:36.440
Because
00:17:36.820
I don't think it's as clear
00:17:38.080
As that though
00:17:38.540
Aki
00:17:38.760
Because like
00:17:40.360
Obviously
00:17:40.720
I mean obviously
00:17:42.760
You have
00:17:43.920
Obviously Islam is all about
00:17:45.040
Bringing the good
00:17:45.540
And pushing away the evil
00:17:46.400
Right
00:17:46.680
Obviously the good in this matter
00:17:48.220
Is to marry
00:17:48.820
To marry
00:17:49.660
To marry your sister
00:17:50.420
To help her out
00:17:51.040
You know
00:17:51.320
Like who's in a situation like that
00:17:52.840
Right
00:17:53.020
And to push away the evil
00:17:53.940
But you see
00:17:54.940
Ibn Taymi
00:17:55.420
Rahmanullah said
00:17:56.060
That the intelligent one
00:17:56.840
Is not the person
00:17:57.400
Who knows the good from the bad
00:17:58.600
It's the one who knows
00:17:59.600
The better of the two goods
00:18:00.760
And the lesser of the two bads
00:18:02.320
You see what I'm saying
00:18:02.860
So
00:18:03.580
Although generally speaking
00:18:05.100
It is better
00:18:05.740
You're right
00:18:06.380
It is better
00:18:07.200
To go find a sister
00:18:08.580
In that situation
00:18:09.280
And your family
00:18:10.160
Might be causing an issue
00:18:11.060
To speak to them
00:18:11.740
And what not
00:18:12.080
But every situation
00:18:13.580
Has to be judged on its merits
00:18:14.640
Because you have to look at
00:18:15.860
You bringing this person
00:18:17.600
Into your life
00:18:18.420
Okay
00:18:19.020
If you bring this person
00:18:20.380
Into your life
00:18:21.060
Then subhanAllah
00:18:22.380
You might actually end up
00:18:23.440
Losing five, six people
00:18:24.640
Right
00:18:25.240
Now if these are five, six
00:18:26.620
Any people
00:18:27.060
Whatever
00:18:27.460
If it's like parents
00:18:28.960
Then obviously
00:18:29.680
It's a bigger situation
00:18:30.860
Right
00:18:31.360
But now
00:18:32.180
Like I'm saying
00:18:33.340
Every situation depends on its merits
00:18:34.720
Because for example
00:18:35.360
Say there's a brother
00:18:36.120
Who's with a sister
00:18:36.860
And he's doing zina with her
00:18:38.540
And the parents are saying
00:18:39.860
No, no, no
00:18:40.920
Well then
00:18:41.560
The zina here is worse
00:18:43.100
Than upsetting your parents
00:18:44.700
So
00:18:45.180
I'm just saying
00:18:46.040
The reason
00:18:46.640
What I'm trying to say is
00:18:47.880
When you find yourself
00:18:48.860
In a situation
00:18:49.320
Where your parents are opposing
00:18:50.220
Go to an imam
00:18:51.340
Because you did that right
00:18:52.140
You went to the sharia council
00:18:53.380
Right
00:18:53.600
I went to the sharia council
00:18:54.340
I went to the sharia council
00:18:55.860
I told them about my situation
00:18:57.240
And everything
00:18:58.520
And actually one thing
00:18:59.580
I wanted to say
00:19:00.020
And they gave you the green light
00:19:00.840
They gave me the green light
00:19:02.160
And you know
00:19:03.300
It was Islamic
00:19:04.460
It was 100% Islamic
00:19:06.240
They know better about our affairs
00:19:08.640
You know what I'm saying
00:19:09.280
Allah said
00:19:09.780
If you don't know
00:19:13.240
Go ask the people who do know
00:19:14.400
So with these situations
00:19:15.680
I think it's always best
00:19:16.640
To not make it like general
00:19:18.140
For you man to just start saying
00:19:19.820
Yeah brother Ali
00:19:20.340
So I go get married
00:19:21.220
And burn my mom
00:19:21.900
Brother you mad
00:19:22.620
Go to the sharia
00:19:30.840
Hey H cars
00:19:35.700
I knew what the things
00:19:36.040
to say
00:19:36.500
You know I think you should
00:19:40.500
Just go
00:19:41.000
I want to make it
00:19:41.740
I want to make it
00:19:42.380
You know my compense
00:19:42.940
It's all
00:19:43.300
I'm not
00:19:44.960
I need to
00:19:45.480
Me
00:19:46.320
I need to
00:19:47.440
Feel
00:19:47.560
I need
00:19:48.300
To make it
00:19:49.220
You know I'm
00:19:49.660
I need to
00:19:50.320
Feel
00:19:52.140
I need to
00:19:52.880
Feel
00:19:53.600
I want to
00:19:53.660
you
00:19:54.340
And
00:19:54.560
feel
00:19:55.800
going
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