Ali Dawah - December 03, 2015


THE REALITY 12 ｜｜ Why marry a divorcee？？


Episode Stats

Length

19 minutes

Words per Minute

211.08325

Word Count

4,209

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

22

Hate Speech Sentences

55


Summary

In this video, I talk about the treatment of divorced sisters in our society and how they are treated and treated in our culture. I also talk about how divorced sisters are treated like prostitutes and treated like a dirty dirty dirty word. And I share the story of how I married a divorced sister for the first time and how it changed me forever.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends
00:00:27.760 Hope you guys are doing well, welcome to this video
00:00:30.360 Obviously before I start I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:00:33.340 The most merciful, the most just, all praises, glory and gratitude belong to Him
00:00:36.440 My voice might sound a little bit different because I'm a bit ill
00:00:39.600 But obviously as you guys know this topic is a very serious topic
00:00:43.180 And it's a matter that I really wanted to do for such a long time
00:00:46.080 But Qadr of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:00:47.520 Allah you know destined it that I do it with this amazing brother
00:00:51.100 You know because I've been meaning to do it for a long time
00:00:54.320 But it's been postponed etc etc
00:00:56.300 And subhanAllah you know somebody told me about you
00:00:58.660 And I thought this is the guy I'm supposed to do this with, do you get it?
00:01:01.800 So alhamdulillah we're going to come to your story later
00:01:03.540 But obviously as we know with the matters of divorced sisters
00:01:07.120 And how they're treated in this society
00:01:08.880 Like I feel ashamed to use this word
00:01:11.720 Wallahi I really feel ashamed to use this word
00:01:13.720 But they are treated like prostitutes
00:01:15.400 Like there's something filthy, disgusting
00:01:17.620 Like when you say oh you're a divorcee
00:01:20.120 It's like oh you know okay you know
00:01:22.480 I might marry you as a second
00:01:25.560 Or you know I might want to do this
00:01:28.300 And I genuinely know there's brothers out there who do it for genuine reasons
00:01:31.560 But I'm talking about those individuals who look down on divorced sisters
00:01:34.480 And not only divorced sisters who you know get divorced without like you know
00:01:38.660 Things that work out which is normal
00:01:40.020 But also the sisters who are divorced and they have a child
00:01:42.820 Which is even worse now
00:01:43.700 They're like oh you know that excess baggage etc
00:01:46.420 And it's so sad wallahi because when we look at the sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam
00:01:50.040 Majority of his wives were divorcees or widows
00:01:53.200 You know
00:01:53.900 And at the time of the messenger
00:01:56.540 The sahaba would, you know they would race with each other to marry somebody
00:02:00.100 Because at the day not only, like I personally believe
00:02:02.840 Like some people in this society think oh you're doing that sister a favour
00:02:06.680 No, wallahi she's doing you a favour
00:02:08.940 The fact that you're going to marry her
00:02:11.240 And be a father figure for a child is not hard
00:02:13.840 I mean it's not easy
00:02:15.400 It's hard like it's something
00:02:16.820 It's hard, it's not every man's job to do that
00:02:18.980 Do you hear what I'm trying to say?
00:02:19.700 It takes a real man to do that
00:02:21.580 You know
00:02:22.000 It's not easy
00:02:22.800 It's easy for you to say oh I'll do this, I'll do that
00:02:24.720 Wallahi
00:02:25.320 The sister is a blessing upon you
00:02:29.220 The fact that you're going to look after her
00:02:31.100 Especially in this society when
00:02:32.760 This cultural thing
00:02:35.000 Wallahi
00:02:35.880 I personally like
00:02:38.140 For the sake of Allah
00:02:39.300 I hate it
00:02:40.000 This cultural thing
00:02:41.040 This oh she's this colour
00:02:42.380 She's not from my caste
00:02:43.700 She's not from my tribe
00:02:45.080 Wallahi discuss me
00:02:46.020 I'm being honest yeah
00:02:47.040 Like when I mean culture
00:02:48.120 I'm not talking about your cultural things
00:02:49.580 That's karma
00:02:50.080 You know I like you know
00:02:50.960 Biryani and all this kind of stuff
00:02:52.440 That side of your culture
00:02:53.560 Nobody's got a problem with
00:02:54.560 But the fact that
00:02:55.660 They look down on divorced sisters
00:02:58.120 Wallahi
00:02:58.680 It really upsets me
00:03:00.100 And like I said
00:03:00.520 It's a video that I'm really passionate about
00:03:02.300 And it's so sad
00:03:03.340 And like I said before
00:03:03.940 The Sahaba
00:03:05.080 The companions of the Prophet
00:03:06.140 Peace be upon it
00:03:06.720 They would
00:03:07.040 They would die
00:03:08.720 You know like
00:03:09.440 Like to marry somebody
00:03:10.620 That's divorced
00:03:11.340 They had nothing
00:03:11.860 No issues like that
00:03:12.700 But in today's society
00:03:14.180 You know
00:03:15.460 If we go to people
00:03:16.740 And be like
00:03:17.080 Oh like you know
00:03:17.720 What do you love about the Sunnah
00:03:19.000 Or the Prophet Muhammad
00:03:19.860 Peace be upon it
00:03:20.340 A lot of people will say
00:03:21.000 You know
00:03:21.280 I like this
00:03:22.180 I like that
00:03:22.760 Blah blah blah
00:03:23.140 This that
00:03:23.540 But they would never ever say
00:03:24.800 Okay
00:03:25.120 You know like
00:03:26.000 If we were to go and ask them
00:03:27.420 You know
00:03:27.600 Would you marry a divorcee
00:03:29.560 And a lot of brothers
00:03:30.220 That they want to
00:03:30.940 And I hear these stories a lot
00:03:32.000 They want to
00:03:32.800 But they say
00:03:33.240 Ah
00:03:33.520 But when I tell my family
00:03:34.740 What
00:03:35.160 You're going to marry a divorcee
00:03:36.560 You know
00:03:37.240 Can't you do something better
00:03:38.400 And it's so sad
00:03:39.700 The reason why I said that
00:03:41.220 It's a perfect timing
00:03:42.040 That you're here
00:03:43.380 And you're doing this
00:03:44.320 And obviously
00:03:45.500 You guys might recognize
00:03:46.480 A brother from a
00:03:47.260 Video from
00:03:47.860 Digital member
00:03:48.480 Yeah which you can see
00:03:49.840 On the screen
00:03:50.300 As you can see
00:03:50.680 But you can watch that later
00:03:51.880 And there's going to be
00:03:52.320 A link at the end
00:03:53.500 Inshallah
00:03:54.080 And you must watch it
00:03:55.400 Because alhamdulillah
00:03:56.000 When I first watched it
00:03:57.420 It really affected me
00:03:58.840 And changed me for the better
00:04:00.060 In certain ways
00:04:01.500 So you can watch that video
00:04:03.420 Afterwards
00:04:03.840 But stick to this firstly
00:04:04.920 So
00:04:05.480 Brother Aiba
00:04:06.460 May Allah bless you firstly
00:04:07.460 Wallahi I've been like
00:04:09.200 Wanting to meet you
00:04:09.920 For a long time
00:04:11.440 So like the
00:04:12.140 Qadr of Allah
00:04:12.680 Yeah
00:04:13.400 To be honest Aki
00:04:14.340 Like
00:04:14.640 What we're going to do
00:04:16.380 With brother Aiman
00:04:16.920 Is we're going to go through
00:04:17.600 Because obviously
00:04:17.980 Brother Aiman is married
00:04:18.740 To a divorced sister
00:04:19.600 May Allah
00:04:20.440 Grant her Jannah
00:04:21.400 May Allah
00:04:22.360 Reward you Aki
00:04:23.540 For what you're doing
00:04:25.680 You know
00:04:26.220 Like I said
00:04:27.020 Not that there's anything
00:04:28.040 Wrong to do
00:04:28.520 But in today's society
00:04:29.480 Because they've made it
00:04:30.180 Such a thing
00:04:31.200 So Aki
00:04:33.160 Like
00:04:33.440 How did it happen
00:04:35.200 Like right
00:04:35.580 Like obviously
00:04:36.200 I don't want it to be like
00:04:36.880 Okay how did you be
00:04:37.620 Etc
00:04:38.000 But you know
00:04:39.120 What is the pros
00:04:40.260 And the cons
00:04:41.060 Like obviously
00:04:42.980 I'm sure you don't
00:04:43.920 But like
00:04:44.460 You know
00:04:45.040 Do you regret it
00:04:46.320 Do you think
00:04:46.740 Like you give me
00:04:48.100 That bit of feedback
00:04:48.880 Number one thing
00:04:59.680 I'm going to start off
00:05:00.540 By saying
00:05:01.060 Which you said
00:05:02.000 Which is a blessing
00:05:03.180 Because you need to
00:05:04.160 Understand here
00:05:04.900 That the Vusi
00:05:06.220 That sister
00:05:07.000 Has already been
00:05:08.260 In a marriage
00:05:08.820 She knows the good things
00:05:10.280 And the bad things
00:05:11.120 The positive
00:05:11.640 And the negative things
00:05:12.520 So for her to still
00:05:13.960 Choose you
00:05:14.660 After she's been
00:05:15.920 Through a negative marriage
00:05:17.100 That means a lot
00:05:18.220 That says
00:05:18.620 Everything
00:05:19.080 Itself
00:05:19.700 You understand
00:05:20.080 So at the end of the day
00:05:21.860 You know
00:05:23.600 For her to know
00:05:24.560 For her to be
00:05:25.520 Like most sisters
00:05:26.780 Nowadays get forced
00:05:27.580 Into marriage
00:05:28.100 And this is a major thing
00:05:29.320 They get culture
00:05:30.280 Mixed up with the deen
00:05:31.340 And that's also
00:05:32.400 A major sin
00:05:33.100 That's culture
00:05:33.620 Culture
00:05:34.440 Nothing to do
00:05:35.300 With the Islam
00:05:35.760 So at the end of the day
00:05:37.460 It's a blessing
00:05:39.100 That the sister
00:05:40.020 One
00:05:40.380 You know
00:05:41.120 She's much older than me
00:05:43.040 You know
00:05:43.760 She's 27
00:05:44.680 Alhamdulillah
00:05:45.240 She got a beautiful child
00:05:46.480 You know
00:05:47.460 And she's got
00:05:48.560 A beautiful soul
00:05:49.420 And I'm grateful
00:05:51.200 That she accepted me
00:05:52.760 Out of every single
00:05:53.800 Every single person
00:05:55.460 In the dunya
00:05:55.960 To accept me
00:05:56.760 To be that father figure
00:05:59.260 Like you said
00:05:59.720 For her child
00:06:00.280 Like I've already
00:06:01.460 Explained to her
00:06:01.960 That I can't be
00:06:02.720 The child's father
00:06:03.940 But I'm going to try
00:06:04.960 My best to be
00:06:05.880 The best person
00:06:06.660 I can be towards him
00:06:07.800 And that's what I'm saying
00:06:08.840 So Alhamdulillah
00:06:10.200 The positive things
00:06:12.260 Are basically
00:06:12.900 She completes your deen
00:06:14.300 This is
00:06:14.820 This is something
00:06:15.480 That people are forgetting
00:06:16.160 Not your mother
00:06:16.740 Not your father
00:06:17.440 Your mother is the
00:06:18.500 Gates to Jannah
00:06:19.140 But she doesn't
00:06:19.980 Complete your deen
00:06:20.700 Your father
00:06:21.620 Your siblings
00:06:23.220 And your family
00:06:24.680 None of these people
00:06:25.960 Complete your deen
00:06:27.240 That's what people
00:06:27.740 Need to understand
00:06:28.500 And I've lost a lot
00:06:29.560 Of people regarding
00:06:30.380 This issue
00:06:31.000 To be honest
00:06:31.900 And some people
00:06:33.780 Are close to me
00:06:34.480 Some people
00:06:35.020 Why did you lose them
00:06:36.080 What was the reason
00:06:36.620 Because at the end
00:06:38.000 Of the day
00:06:38.380 The Iman
00:06:39.160 Was at a level
00:06:40.220 Where I've passed
00:06:41.400 So long ago
00:06:42.500 They
00:06:43.360 They
00:06:43.680 They
00:06:43.960 They were asking me
00:06:45.680 Questions like
00:06:46.620 Why are you
00:06:47.200 With an older person
00:06:48.560 And she's older than you
00:06:50.180 Yeah
00:06:50.520 No she's 27
00:06:52.320 I'm 22 years old
00:06:53.460 And
00:06:54.260 Jazakallah
00:06:55.620 But
00:06:56.660 Like
00:06:57.180 What can I say
00:06:58.240 Is
00:06:58.820 They were like
00:07:00.260 How can you be
00:07:01.640 With a sister
00:07:02.240 Thus
00:07:02.640 Divorced
00:07:03.760 Number one
00:07:04.480 Divorced
00:07:04.880 Number one
00:07:05.560 Is divorced
00:07:05.900 Number one
00:07:06.400 Is the age
00:07:07.000 Number two
00:07:08.420 Is her colour skin
00:07:09.480 She's a natural
00:07:10.700 You know
00:07:12.320 Colour of Arab
00:07:13.120 Which is like
00:07:13.780 Brown skin
00:07:14.760 Golden skin
00:07:15.700 This Arab
00:07:16.540 This colour
00:07:17.400 That we have now
00:07:18.220 Is just
00:07:18.560 Something that
00:07:19.360 Died down a very long
00:07:20.440 Time ago
00:07:20.920 But people mistake
00:07:21.840 My colour
00:07:22.400 As the natural Arab
00:07:23.740 Which is not true
00:07:24.460 Well a lot of them
00:07:25.060 You've got sisters
00:07:25.740 In the Arab country
00:07:27.100 That power their face
00:07:28.440 It's like they're sponsored
00:07:29.360 By super drug on boots
00:07:30.960 The amount of makeup
00:07:31.760 They put on
00:07:32.360 You understand what I'm saying
00:07:33.040 That's even sad
00:07:33.860 Because these sisters
00:07:34.400 Are pressurized to think
00:07:35.320 This colour
00:07:36.280 Or I have to be this colour
00:07:37.660 Because this is accepted
00:07:38.460 Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:07:39.160 Like even those certain sisters
00:07:40.600 We feel sorry for
00:07:41.380 Because
00:07:41.680 Your culture has made you think
00:07:43.100 Okay I have to be this colour
00:07:44.300 So I can fit in
00:07:45.200 And then they
00:07:45.580 Like it's sad
00:07:46.600 You see this
00:07:47.020 And we don't mean in any way
00:07:48.240 Of mocking sisters in a hijab
00:07:49.360 But it's sad
00:07:50.280 Like you look at some sisters
00:07:51.200 Like obviously you should know it again
00:07:52.620 But what I'm trying to say
00:07:53.200 Is their hands are like white
00:07:54.320 And they look at the faces
00:07:55.020 Like different colour
00:07:56.620 And it's sad
00:07:58.060 Because why
00:07:58.520 Because they think
00:07:59.140 This is superior
00:07:59.800 I have to be pale
00:08:00.740 I have to be lighter skin
00:08:01.660 No
00:08:02.020 We should be proud of
00:08:02.920 Allah SWT has created
00:08:03.640 Every single one of us
00:08:04.780 In a unique way
00:08:05.900 And we should be proud of that
00:08:06.880 I'm sorry to
00:08:07.480 And what I wanted to say
00:08:09.760 Like you said
00:08:10.320 Which is
00:08:10.660 You know
00:08:11.240 The number one thing
00:08:12.560 Is it's a blessing
00:08:14.040 Take
00:08:14.500 You know
00:08:14.900 You have to be grateful
00:08:15.720 That a sister
00:08:16.380 That's divorced
00:08:17.220 That's gone through a marriage
00:08:18.960 Allah will know
00:08:19.980 If it was good or bad
00:08:21.140 But she's experienced
00:08:22.140 Obviously it turned out to be
00:08:23.520 For the negative part of things
00:08:25.620 Because it ended up
00:08:26.480 In her being divorced
00:08:27.660 So you know
00:08:28.920 It's a blessing
00:08:29.520 That she's been in a marriage
00:08:30.820 And she's chose me
00:08:32.280 Out of every single person
00:08:34.040 In the dunya
00:08:34.420 Chose me
00:08:35.040 To be that father figure
00:08:36.540 To her child
00:08:37.220 She chose me
00:08:38.060 To spend the rest of her life
00:08:39.200 With her
00:08:39.420 Most importantly
00:08:40.060 For me to complete her deen
00:08:42.120 That's so beautiful
00:08:43.000 I'm sorry
00:08:43.440 I'm cutting you
00:08:44.260 But you know what's so beautiful
00:08:45.600 Is the fact that you're saying
00:08:46.660 She chose me
00:08:48.140 Because a lot of times
00:08:49.220 People be like
00:08:49.760 Oh I chose you
00:08:50.640 Like I did a favour
00:08:51.820 And you was divorced
00:08:52.740 And you're older than me
00:08:54.060 And I married you
00:08:54.940 But subhanAllah
00:08:55.440 Like I can see from you
00:08:56.520 Like this is not staged
00:08:57.460 Did I ask you to say this
00:08:58.240 You're saying to me
00:08:59.840 Like she chose me
00:09:00.880 Which is so beautiful
00:09:01.660 This is something that
00:09:02.640 Relaxed
00:09:03.740 This is exactly what it is
00:09:05.960 She chose me
00:09:06.880 And what you understand
00:09:08.240 She didn't
00:09:09.360 You know
00:09:09.660 She chose me for who I am
00:09:11.880 I've had a bad past
00:09:13.640 I've been
00:09:14.440 You know
00:09:14.680 I've had ups and downs
00:09:16.000 And plus with the condition
00:09:17.420 That I'm in now
00:09:18.120 You know
00:09:18.300 I've been stabbed
00:09:19.040 And I've got a colostomy bag
00:09:21.220 And this is something
00:09:21.900 That's very severe to me
00:09:23.080 I've got nerve damage
00:09:24.000 On the left side of my body
00:09:25.540 Like
00:09:25.780 Does she really
00:09:27.000 Have to go with someone
00:09:28.260 That's handicapped
00:09:29.500 Because I'm classed
00:09:30.140 As a handicapped person
00:09:31.300 You know
00:09:31.620 And
00:09:32.080 You're more
00:09:33.440 Strengthening
00:09:34.100 When you shake my hand
00:09:34.940 I thought you were going to
00:09:35.380 Break it for a second
00:09:35.940 May Allah bless you
00:09:37.100 But alhamdulillah
00:09:38.280 You know what I'm saying
00:09:38.680 It's the whole concept
00:09:40.280 Of basically
00:09:41.320 Brothers
00:09:42.340 Their iman is really low
00:09:44.120 But at the end of the day
00:09:44.960 The sisters have
00:09:46.060 You know
00:09:47.000 They've got a ton as well
00:09:48.240 You understand what I'm saying
00:09:48.940 They need to know
00:09:50.240 How to use that
00:09:51.080 And they need to really
00:09:52.980 Really
00:09:53.880 Let their words
00:09:55.300 Penetrate your heart
00:09:56.280 You understand what I'm saying
00:09:56.960 And this is exactly
00:09:57.840 What the sister did
00:09:58.640 Before
00:09:59.460 Before she
00:10:00.480 Before she
00:10:02.500 Accepted me
00:10:03.600 She wanted to know
00:10:04.920 Real things about me
00:10:06.780 She really
00:10:07.780 Wanted to know
00:10:08.460 Me itself
00:10:09.060 You understand
00:10:09.360 My soul
00:10:10.200 And since I've been
00:10:11.440 With the sister
00:10:12.800 22 years of my life
00:10:14.220 I've never been this closer
00:10:15.480 To Allah
00:10:15.860 I've never in my life
00:10:17.520 I used to pray
00:10:19.300 Like you said
00:10:19.760 You know
00:10:19.960 You could do your basics
00:10:20.960 Pray five times a day
00:10:22.540 Do zakah a day and then
00:10:24.260 But for me to be
00:10:25.640 A hundred percent
00:10:26.440 Because I
00:10:26.960 You know
00:10:27.300 There were certain sins
00:10:28.920 In the society
00:10:29.620 In the environment
00:10:30.140 We live in
00:10:30.760 We tend
00:10:31.700 It's hard for us
00:10:32.480 To leave certain sins
00:10:33.840 Behind the inside
00:10:34.560 Because you're so used to it
00:10:35.700 But Wallahi
00:10:36.580 When she came alone
00:10:37.740 Akhi
00:10:38.120 She
00:10:38.480 She
00:10:39.760 Destroyed her
00:10:42.040 You get lost for words
00:10:43.740 When I was watching the video
00:10:44.620 You know when I was watching
00:10:45.680 You're just like
00:10:46.280 My wife
00:10:47.460 And Wallahi
00:10:48.420 It melted my heart
00:10:49.340 When I would see that
00:10:49.980 Like even now
00:10:50.880 You just seem like
00:10:51.380 You're lost for words
00:10:51.980 It's like
00:10:52.320 May Allah
00:10:53.040 Reunite you guys
00:10:55.260 In Jannah
00:10:55.720 So how was your family
00:10:59.820 Akhi
00:11:00.140 Like you know
00:11:00.660 Obviously
00:11:01.660 You weren't ahead
00:11:02.720 With a marriage
00:11:03.120 But
00:11:03.400 What was the reaction
00:11:05.120 With the family
00:11:05.540 The number one thing
00:11:06.540 I had to
00:11:07.000 Mention to my family
00:11:08.700 Is that
00:11:09.260 One
00:11:09.740 I'm gonna be
00:11:10.240 Living with this person
00:11:11.520 You're not gonna be
00:11:12.320 Living with us
00:11:13.080 And number two
00:11:13.860 Which is most important
00:11:15.060 Is this person
00:11:16.400 Is gonna complete
00:11:17.560 My deal
00:11:18.280 That's the most important thing
00:11:19.740 She's brought me closer
00:11:20.900 To Allah
00:11:21.260 Even when
00:11:22.540 She was a brood
00:11:23.940 Wallahi
00:11:24.420 She used to wake
00:11:25.400 Even though it's a four hour difference
00:11:26.840 Where she's ahead of us
00:11:27.720 Wallahi
00:11:28.260 She used to wake me up
00:11:29.440 For fajr
00:11:29.940 This is a wife
00:11:31.580 This
00:11:31.780 Where
00:11:32.360 Where do we find
00:11:33.880 Women like this
00:11:34.620 In today's society
00:11:36.520 Now
00:11:36.800 The question is
00:11:37.500 Because a lot
00:11:37.920 The time
00:11:38.440 What advice would you give
00:11:39.760 To a brother
00:11:40.180 Obviously look
00:11:40.640 We need to respect the parents
00:11:41.960 Yeah
00:11:42.260 And it's not like
00:11:43.600 We're giving some fatwa here
00:11:44.500 But what would you give
00:11:45.440 Advice to that brother
00:11:46.280 Who's on that
00:11:46.940 Like he wants a married sister
00:11:47.980 That's divorced
00:11:48.580 You know what I'm trying to say
00:11:49.460 But the parents
00:11:50.820 Or there's been issues
00:11:51.660 Being caused
00:11:52.220 Like what advice
00:11:53.440 Would you give
00:11:54.320 Obviously
00:11:54.800 Like what would you say to them
00:11:56.620 Like they're on that verge
00:11:57.440 And they're like
00:11:57.800 My parents are causing
00:11:58.820 This big issue
00:11:59.560 If I go ahead
00:12:00.380 Like what advice
00:12:01.400 Would you give them
00:12:01.860 When my family
00:12:02.540 Didn't want nothing
00:12:03.340 You know
00:12:04.220 My father
00:12:05.660 Till this day now
00:12:06.560 To be honest
00:12:07.020 He still
00:12:07.480 I tend
00:12:08.280 I try my hardest
00:12:09.840 To salam him
00:12:10.560 He doesn't want to
00:12:11.800 Salam me back
00:12:12.420 By the end of the day
00:12:13.220 I can't cut my ties
00:12:14.520 With my father
00:12:15.120 Do you understand what I'm saying
00:12:15.960 I haven't picked my woman
00:12:17.240 Over my father
00:12:18.360 But at the end of the day
00:12:19.160 It's my woman
00:12:19.820 That completes my deed
00:12:21.100 Not my father
00:12:21.960 Do you understand what I'm saying
00:12:22.860 No mashallah
00:12:24.060 Yeah and
00:12:25.320 Subhanallah
00:12:25.740 Like sometimes I would
00:12:26.820 You know
00:12:27.980 There is people
00:12:28.700 That message our team
00:12:29.420 Regarding this
00:12:29.940 I'm a divorced
00:12:30.580 Sister
00:12:31.420 Etc etc
00:12:32.480 Like
00:12:32.880 When these communities
00:12:34.640 And these backward
00:12:35.660 Thinking individuals
00:12:37.120 Yeah
00:12:37.360 Like when they look down
00:12:38.740 At these sisters
00:12:39.620 Well I
00:12:39.940 I look at these sisters
00:12:41.220 I swear to God
00:12:41.920 I don't think
00:12:42.920 There is not many brothers
00:12:44.620 That they can do
00:12:45.320 What they do
00:12:45.940 You're a mother
00:12:47.000 And you're a father
00:12:47.720 You're looking after that child
00:12:48.900 You have to provide for that child
00:12:49.940 You have to work
00:12:50.780 Clothe them
00:12:51.640 Look after the house
00:12:52.820 Which one of you brothers
00:12:54.320 Like I'm just being honest
00:12:55.760 Which one of you brothers
00:12:56.620 Can do that
00:12:57.220 It's hard
00:12:58.000 It takes
00:12:58.440 I know there's brothers out there
00:12:59.360 Who's lost their wife
00:13:00.100 It's hard upon them
00:13:01.000 Do you know what I'm trying to say
00:13:01.680 But seriously
00:13:02.540 When I look at these sisters
00:13:03.760 Who are divorced
00:13:04.900 Well I just see like
00:13:05.900 They're doing
00:13:06.320 The real form of
00:13:07.960 Jihad
00:13:08.500 Before you guys
00:13:09.700 Going to Mad One
00:13:10.260 Struggling
00:13:11.100 Striving
00:13:11.760 This is struggling
00:13:13.160 Striving
00:13:13.620 And who are you
00:13:14.960 With your little brain
00:13:15.940 Backwarded
00:13:16.540 Disgusting brain
00:13:17.860 Looking at sisters
00:13:19.100 Who are divorced
00:13:19.660 And
00:13:19.860 You know
00:13:20.580 I'm doing a favour
00:13:21.220 If I marry
00:13:21.660 Who do you think you are
00:13:22.540 She's doing you a favour
00:13:23.520 You know
00:13:24.200 It really saddens me
00:13:25.400 And like I said
00:13:26.840 I see these sisters as soldiers
00:13:28.200 I'm being honest
00:13:28.760 I've seen it
00:13:29.960 In this time of society
00:13:31.520 Where it's sexualised
00:13:33.320 Look
00:13:33.680 Everyone has needs
00:13:34.820 These sisters are treated
00:13:36.120 Like they're some kind of
00:13:37.220 Disgusting being
00:13:38.180 And they still stand their ground
00:13:40.220 Look after their child
00:13:41.260 Be a mother and fatherly figure
00:13:42.580 And do everything for them
00:13:44.020 And then you have these
00:13:45.220 Backwarded individuals
00:13:46.700 And brothers
00:13:47.300 Acting like
00:13:48.300 Oh yeah
00:13:48.800 Like you know
00:13:49.600 Yeah like I'm doing something
00:13:50.720 Wallahi you're not
00:13:51.420 And I salute these sisters
00:13:52.720 I'm just being honest
00:13:53.640 Straight to the heart
00:13:54.400 And I'm not saying it for any reason
00:13:55.780 Wallahi
00:13:56.300 I salute you
00:13:57.100 Sisters who are out there
00:13:57.780 Struggling
00:13:58.460 And inshallah
00:13:59.220 May Allah give you guys patience
00:14:00.240 Because it's not easy
00:14:01.040 Because I really mean this
00:14:02.380 Because these sisters out there
00:14:03.320 They struggle
00:14:04.000 You know
00:14:04.560 They strive really really hard
00:14:05.940 And I've seen it
00:14:06.560 Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:14:07.580 That's why
00:14:08.280 When I see brothers like you
00:14:09.260 Wallahi Aki
00:14:09.740 You know
00:14:10.400 I look up to people like you
00:14:12.140 You know
00:14:12.360 Because it's not easy
00:14:13.840 Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:14:14.460 But it's anything
00:14:15.220 That you want to leave
00:14:16.140 The viewers with
00:14:16.840 Both
00:14:17.500 Sisters who are divorced
00:14:18.800 And brothers who
00:14:20.360 Anything that you want to leave them with
00:14:22.380 Okay finish off
00:14:23.220 First of all
00:14:24.280 I want to say to the sisters
00:14:25.160 Like
00:14:25.720 Like the brother said
00:14:26.620 I salute you too
00:14:27.580 And what I want to say is
00:14:30.040 Whatever you're doing
00:14:31.240 Carry on doing it
00:14:32.440 Don't change anything about it
00:14:33.760 Do not
00:14:34.120 Do not change yourself
00:14:35.440 For another man
00:14:36.260 Whatsoever
00:14:37.060 Let the man
00:14:38.120 Change himself
00:14:39.060 For the sake of Allah
00:14:39.940 For you
00:14:40.340 And for you only
00:14:41.040 Nothing else
00:14:42.320 And for the
00:14:43.820 We need to understand
00:14:45.220 For sisters nowadays
00:14:46.340 To accept you
00:14:47.100 For who you are
00:14:47.720 For your past
00:14:48.400 Says a lot about them
00:14:49.960 And for the sister
00:14:50.940 For my wife
00:14:51.960 To accept me
00:14:52.420 For who I am
00:14:52.900 And then sometimes
00:14:53.600 She clothes me
00:14:54.980 And bathed me
00:14:55.680 And even changed
00:14:56.380 My colostrum
00:14:56.900 That
00:14:57.420 Most sisters
00:14:59.920 Wouldn't do that
00:15:00.540 You understand
00:15:00.760 What I'm saying
00:15:01.080 I'll keep myself
00:15:02.660 Away
00:15:02.880 But for a divorce
00:15:04.000 Sister
00:15:04.480 To choose you
00:15:05.620 Over everything
00:15:06.440 Then
00:15:06.760 Wallah
00:15:07.140 You shouldn't
00:15:07.880 Change a bit
00:15:08.560 About yourself
00:15:09.060 Let the man
00:15:09.620 Accept you
00:15:10.100 For who you are
00:15:10.740 And if he really
00:15:12.120 Loves you
00:15:12.520 And he really
00:15:13.100 Thinks that you
00:15:13.960 Complete his deen
00:15:14.800 Then he will
00:15:15.220 Fight for you
00:15:15.860 And for the brothers
00:15:17.420 I think you don't
00:15:18.680 Need to grow up
00:15:19.440 Like your imans
00:15:20.980 You need to work
00:15:21.560 On your iman
00:15:22.060 You need to work
00:15:22.600 On your dikha
00:15:23.140 You need to remember
00:15:23.900 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:15:24.660 And every single
00:15:25.340 Thing you do
00:15:26.880 And you really
00:15:28.280 Just need to grow up
00:15:29.240 I'm 22 years old
00:15:30.720 But the relationship
00:15:32.600 That I've had with my wife
00:15:33.600 Because I've been
00:15:34.120 Married for six months now
00:15:35.460 Alhamdulillah
00:15:36.120 The relationship
00:15:37.560 I have with my wife
00:15:38.320 Now yeah
00:15:38.800 Is better than relationships
00:15:40.240 That married couple
00:15:41.360 Have had for ten years
00:15:42.480 Do you understand
00:15:43.620 So even though
00:15:45.540 It's made me lose
00:15:46.260 People out of my life
00:15:47.080 But at the end of the day
00:15:47.640 It's for the best
00:15:49.200 It's for the best
00:15:50.560 You get what I'm saying
00:15:51.320 So that's the only
00:15:52.100 Advice I can give you
00:15:53.240 And basically
00:15:54.380 I just want to
00:15:55.140 You know
00:15:55.560 It's like I said
00:15:57.940 It's a pleasure
00:15:58.400 It's a pleasure
00:15:59.760 Yeah come in man
00:16:00.460 You see how we come to
00:16:01.000 With that scooter
00:16:01.420 Woo
00:16:01.760 No
00:16:03.020 Yes
00:16:03.440 Make some room
00:16:05.440 A lot of people
00:16:06.920 They found
00:16:07.400 Obviously a funny
00:16:08.160 What
00:16:08.440 Okay come here
00:16:09.120 Come here
00:16:09.380 Come here
00:16:11.000 No it's okay
00:16:11.760 A lot of people
00:16:13.060 They obviously
00:16:13.440 It's okay
00:16:15.040 They don't know
00:16:15.600 Who I am
00:16:15.980 Man
00:16:16.160 We're gonna put
00:16:17.720 A picture of him
00:16:18.360 Okay okay
00:16:20.220 Basically
00:16:20.600 A lot of
00:16:21.680 A lot of parents
00:16:22.240 They frown upon it
00:16:23.220 But obviously
00:16:24.380 It's a big
00:16:24.980 Not gamble
00:16:26.080 But it's a big
00:16:26.880 Risk that you're taking
00:16:28.600 Not risk
00:16:29.040 But choice
00:16:29.920 You're making
00:16:30.420 Do I like
00:16:31.640 Lose a lot
00:16:32.920 Of the respect
00:16:33.720 Not a respect
00:16:34.240 But a lot of
00:16:34.820 The relationship
00:16:35.340 I have with my parents
00:16:36.060 Of a woman
00:16:37.140 That I don't know yet
00:16:38.420 Or do I
00:16:39.780 Stick with
00:16:40.860 You know
00:16:42.040 My principle
00:16:42.580 That I don't mind
00:16:43.220 Marrying a divorced sister
00:16:44.120 What do you advise
00:16:45.980 Because there's a lot
00:16:46.680 Of brothers that
00:16:47.040 Want to do it
00:16:47.620 Because they like
00:16:48.180 The idea of one
00:16:49.220 Someone who's experienced
00:16:50.400 Someone who's got children
00:16:51.500 And someone who's
00:16:52.360 Obviously a lot older
00:16:53.460 As well
00:16:53.980 To be honest
00:16:54.580 Now to be honest
00:16:56.160 If my parents
00:16:57.520 Are telling me
00:16:58.080 Not to marry someone
00:16:58.900 Because of the
00:16:59.960 So reason
00:17:00.540 Oh she's a divorce
00:17:01.300 She has a child
00:17:01.760 I'm sorry
00:17:02.200 I love you
00:17:03.320 Mum dad
00:17:03.980 I love you
00:17:04.720 Call me anytime
00:17:05.840 But if you're going
00:17:06.820 To be like
00:17:07.200 Her colour
00:17:08.220 Or she's this
00:17:09.180 Or she's that
00:17:09.680 Aki I'm being honest
00:17:10.540 You need to stick around
00:17:11.160 My family
00:17:12.120 They had an issue
00:17:14.660 Like okay
00:17:15.200 You marrying somebody
00:17:16.340 That wears the hijab
00:17:17.440 Or this that
00:17:18.080 They had an issue with Aki
00:17:18.920 Aki I stuck to my ground
00:17:20.100 I said look mum dad
00:17:21.020 I love you guys
00:17:21.700 But this is what I want
00:17:22.660 Today
00:17:23.280 They accepted it
00:17:24.200 They okay with it
00:17:24.860 Do you get what I'm trying to say
00:17:25.580 So I think that's not a reason
00:17:26.880 Aki
00:17:27.140 But I respect what you're coming from
00:17:28.520 Obviously then it's your parents
00:17:29.580 Causing that commotion
00:17:30.720 It changes from person to person
00:17:31.920 Yeah
00:17:32.400 Yeah I just want to add some balance
00:17:35.240 To what you said though
00:17:35.800 Before I said that
00:17:36.440 Because
00:17:36.820 I don't think it's as clear
00:17:38.080 As that though
00:17:38.540 Aki
00:17:38.760 Because like
00:17:40.360 Obviously
00:17:40.720 I mean obviously
00:17:42.760 You have
00:17:43.920 Obviously Islam is all about
00:17:45.040 Bringing the good
00:17:45.540 And pushing away the evil
00:17:46.400 Right
00:17:46.680 Obviously the good in this matter
00:17:48.220 Is to marry
00:17:48.820 To marry
00:17:49.660 To marry your sister
00:17:50.420 To help her out
00:17:51.040 You know
00:17:51.320 Like who's in a situation like that
00:17:52.840 Right
00:17:53.020 And to push away the evil
00:17:53.940 But you see
00:17:54.940 Ibn Taymi
00:17:55.420 Rahmanullah said
00:17:56.060 That the intelligent one
00:17:56.840 Is not the person
00:17:57.400 Who knows the good from the bad
00:17:58.600 It's the one who knows
00:17:59.600 The better of the two goods
00:18:00.760 And the lesser of the two bads
00:18:02.320 You see what I'm saying
00:18:02.860 So
00:18:03.580 Although generally speaking
00:18:05.100 It is better
00:18:05.740 You're right
00:18:06.380 It is better
00:18:07.200 To go find a sister
00:18:08.580 In that situation
00:18:09.280 And your family
00:18:10.160 Might be causing an issue
00:18:11.060 To speak to them
00:18:11.740 And what not
00:18:12.080 But every situation
00:18:13.580 Has to be judged on its merits
00:18:14.640 Because you have to look at
00:18:15.860 You bringing this person
00:18:17.600 Into your life
00:18:18.420 Okay
00:18:19.020 If you bring this person
00:18:20.380 Into your life
00:18:21.060 Then subhanAllah
00:18:22.380 You might actually end up
00:18:23.440 Losing five, six people
00:18:24.640 Right
00:18:25.240 Now if these are five, six
00:18:26.620 Any people
00:18:27.060 Whatever
00:18:27.460 If it's like parents
00:18:28.960 Then obviously
00:18:29.680 It's a bigger situation
00:18:30.860 Right
00:18:31.360 But now
00:18:32.180 Like I'm saying
00:18:33.340 Every situation depends on its merits
00:18:34.720 Because for example
00:18:35.360 Say there's a brother
00:18:36.120 Who's with a sister
00:18:36.860 And he's doing zina with her
00:18:38.540 And the parents are saying
00:18:39.860 No, no, no
00:18:40.920 Well then
00:18:41.560 The zina here is worse
00:18:43.100 Than upsetting your parents
00:18:44.700 So
00:18:45.180 I'm just saying
00:18:46.040 The reason
00:18:46.640 What I'm trying to say is
00:18:47.880 When you find yourself
00:18:48.860 In a situation
00:18:49.320 Where your parents are opposing
00:18:50.220 Go to an imam
00:18:51.340 Because you did that right
00:18:52.140 You went to the sharia council
00:18:53.380 Right
00:18:53.600 I went to the sharia council
00:18:54.340 I went to the sharia council
00:18:55.860 I told them about my situation
00:18:57.240 And everything
00:18:58.520 And actually one thing
00:18:59.580 I wanted to say
00:19:00.020 And they gave you the green light
00:19:00.840 They gave me the green light
00:19:02.160 And you know
00:19:03.300 It was Islamic
00:19:04.460 It was 100% Islamic
00:19:06.240 They know better about our affairs
00:19:08.640 You know what I'm saying
00:19:09.280 Allah said
00:19:09.780 If you don't know
00:19:13.240 Go ask the people who do know
00:19:14.400 So with these situations
00:19:15.680 I think it's always best
00:19:16.640 To not make it like general
00:19:18.140 For you man to just start saying
00:19:19.820 Yeah brother Ali
00:19:20.340 So I go get married
00:19:21.220 And burn my mom
00:19:21.900 Brother you mad
00:19:22.620 Go to the sharia
00:19:30.840 Hey H cars
00:19:35.700 I knew what the things
00:19:36.040 to say
00:19:36.500 You know I think you should
00:19:40.500 Just go
00:19:41.000 I want to make it
00:19:41.740 I want to make it
00:19:42.380 You know my compense
00:19:42.940 It's all
00:19:43.300 I'm not
00:19:44.960 I need to
00:19:45.480 Me
00:19:46.320 I need to
00:19:47.440 Feel
00:19:47.560 I need
00:19:48.300 To make it
00:19:49.220 You know I'm
00:19:49.660 I need to
00:19:50.320 Feel
00:19:52.140 I need to
00:19:52.880 Feel
00:19:53.600 I want to
00:19:53.660 you
00:19:54.340 And
00:19:54.560 feel
00:19:55.800 going