Ali Dawah - THE REALITY 13 ｜｜ Do women act naive for sex？

00:00:00.000 As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi barakatuh, brothers and sisters and dear friends,

00:00:29.260 hope you guys are doing well. Welcome to Reality 13. As you guys know on this topic we're going to be

00:00:35.000 discussing the matter of do women play the dumb role and when I mean dumb I mean like do they act 1.00

00:00:40.660 naive when it comes to the matter of committing sex also known as zina. Now obviously before I start 1.00

00:00:48.000 I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala the most merciful the most just or praises glory and

00:00:51.600 gratitude belong to him for allowing us to produce these videos and the works that we do. Now guys

00:00:57.440 obviously before I get into it the whole matter my perspective and I'm going to read some comments

00:01:02.440 from Facebook and Instagram and obviously Snapchat as well when I ask people these questions and

00:01:09.540 one feedback basically from females about this matter so I want to make it fair I don't want 1.00

00:01:13.740 it to be biased or it's just my perspective of the matter but before we do that we went to the

00:01:17.720 general public and interviewed females on this matter and wanted to get their feedback. 0.98

00:01:22.280 Okay the question is basically usually men tend to be after a certain thing yeah do you think women

00:01:27.860 are oblivious to that they don't know they're innocent of the matter that they're thinking oh

00:01:32.160 maybe he's a good guy or do they play the dumb game because they want to do that but they're just 0.99

00:01:38.140 acting dumb? I think they play the dumb game. Okay why do you think women play the dumb game like 1.00

00:01:43.720 what do they get out of it? I don't know everyone has their own reasons but maybe it's just so 0.99

00:01:49.000 they don't feel guilty about it or I don't know. They know what they're getting into when they first

00:01:54.520 meet the boy. So they know? Yeah. So you would say they played the dumb game? Yeah. But some girls 1.00

00:02:01.800 don't think all boys are like that and now fall for them. I don't think women would act dumb 1.00

00:02:07.140 because they want the same thing. Yeah I don't think they would act dumb I think they would 0.99

00:02:11.560 just play along if they wanted to but I think it depends on the person's role. You see when you say play

00:02:16.700 along? It's like it's like I'm sure every woman knows what they want so like if that's what she 1.00

00:02:24.440 wants out of the guy she'll just play along if she wants something else then yeah. But do some

00:02:29.600 women even though they want it but they don't want the guy to know that they want it do they 1.00

00:02:33.760 play the dumb game? No. I don't think so. No. Never? I think you might get some women that do. I 1.00

00:02:40.700 won't be like there's everyone's different innit? So in general women don't really play dumb? Women 1.00

00:02:46.660 don't play dumb. Okay. Personally. So they know what's going on? Yeah. Okay thank you very much. I actually 1.00

00:02:52.160 think that some women are hopeful that there's some decent men out there that are not just after

00:02:56.400 one thing. Okay. That's a really good answer actually we haven't come across the answer. So yeah that's

00:03:00.500 true. What about you? I actually agree. Yeah. I mean obviously there's the women out there that want 1.00

00:03:04.780 the same thing so yeah they'll just go for whatever they can get but they're actually chicks out there 1.00

00:03:10.540 who are looking for a decent guy. Okay. But do women ever use the dumb? Do you think all right women 1.00

00:03:16.140 out there in general terms they do play the dumb game sometimes or do you think? It depends what kind 0.97

00:03:20.800 of woman she is because I wouldn't want to play the dumb game. I wouldn't invest my time in a man 1.00

00:03:26.180 that I know only wants one thing. That's dumb. Yeah. I think women play the dumb game but 1.00

00:03:31.580 at the end of the day that's the woman that will get hurt the most so really they're probably 1.00

00:03:36.220 not grown enough to know what they really want. They want it as well. They want it as

00:03:40.820 much as the men want it. So that's why they play dumb? Yeah. Not all women. Do you think 1.00

00:03:44.840 all women or just? No not all women. Most women. Most women. You say most women? Would you say

00:03:49.280 most women? No most women. They are oblivious. So they're not aware? No. Some girls are but 1.00

00:03:57.480 some girls aren't. Okay. I think some girls will do it because they don't want to make 1.00

00:04:01.700 themselves look like a hoe and then some girls will. So they'll play the dumb game because 1.00

00:04:06.640 they don't want to be labelled as a hoe. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I think. Because I don't 0.99

00:04:13.040 know. Why do you think? Okay. Well you actually said why they do that. So would you say a majority

00:04:19.460 of women do that or some? Some. Yeah. A lot of us girls aren't like that. Yeah. Some 1.00

00:04:25.680 of us don't know. Some of us just think I really want to be with this person and maybe like

00:04:30.040 if a boy was being nice to me I would be like so I'm into it but if I found out he just 0.82

00:04:33.400 wanted one thing I'd tell him **** off like news. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll be pissed off.

00:04:36.120 And then goodbye. Yeah. That's it yeah? Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much. Well I think

00:04:40.980 that they know what's going on because it's kind of obvious what this guy's trying to do

00:04:45.000 only after one thing so I think when they're playing innocent they just act like they don't 0.93

00:04:49.940 know what's going on but when they're playing the dumb game they kind of know what's going 0.94

00:04:52.560 on. They want to get themselves into it and then after they like they kind of complain 0.85

00:04:56.600 when they get out if you know what I mean. Why do they do that? Like obviously we're not

00:04:59.660 saying not every woman but some women who play the dumb game like why do you think 1.00

00:05:04.860 they do that? Is it because like they don't want to feel guilty at the end of it? I have 0.97

00:05:10.220 no clue to be honest. I mean some of them obviously they want to look innocent. It's not all women 1.00

00:05:15.760 by the way only like some type of women obviously but some of them they just probably want to 1.00

00:05:20.580 look innocent to be honest. Okay. Just a quick another question is obviously a lot of men

00:05:25.860 in that situation would go with the flow yeah? Yeah yeah. What advice would you give to brothers

00:05:30.260 out there in that situation? Let's say they're there, the girl's on here, she's blah blah blah.

00:05:35.380 What would you say they should do instead of saying you know what okay she's on it let me be on it?

00:05:40.020 Well to a brother if you got a little sister just be aware that whatever you do it's gonna god forbid it's

00:05:48.420 gonna act on your little sister I mean I got a little sister in it so I know what it's like.

00:05:51.940 So guys you saw that for yourself and obviously we got the feedback from the females and some 0.53

00:05:57.380 males as well regarding this matter. Now obviously you heard that. Now brother says the reason why I

00:06:02.900 wanted to do this video is very important because at the end of the day when I first started doing my

00:06:06.340 reality shows it was basically based upon the things that I've seen when before I came to Islam

00:06:12.660 things I've been through etc and obviously I saw to my perspective a lot of females suffering more 1.00

00:06:20.740 than males and becoming victim to males men promising giving them false promises about marriage

00:06:26.040 blackmailing them getting them to do certain acts and the list goes on so due to this I

00:06:32.520 concentrated the reality shows based on advising sisters more against males and exposing how males

00:06:38.360 tactics are how they work and you saw this in the reality shows reality part one does he really love

00:06:43.400 you reality part two how men really think reality three shaitan's good deed how a sister who's working

00:06:49.720 some guy you know tries on with that work etc the reality four which was I want to pie his wife was 1.00

00:06:55.720 against the hypocrisy of men and the list goes on about party now I always pick on guys and I'm

00:07:00.520 like men are players men not all of them obviously but my main concentration of the area is to show

00:07:05.960 this is the true face of certain men and to say look sisters be careful there's these kind of men

00:07:10.920 out there do you get what I'm trying to say and due to that I get a lot of criticism from the brother

00:07:14.280 saying look Aki why do you always think it's always men it's always men it's always men and I'm

00:07:18.200 like look you're right but you need to understand that from what I see it's always most of the time

00:07:23.000 it's men that does this but now with this show I wanted you guys to understand that look it's not

00:07:27.800 always men because there are women out there who do want to commit zina like I said sex they want 1.00

00:07:32.840 to have sex and they act in a naive way to get in that and I wanted to find out does this really

00:07:38.760 happen do you know what I'm trying to say and obviously most of the people that we've talked

00:07:42.040 from instagram snapchat the interviews that we had in public you saw for yourself say that women play

00:07:47.080 this role they do this why to feel less guilty they want to commit the act as well and uh when

00:07:52.120 when things got don't go to plan they blame the guy etc etc so I want to address the sisters at this

00:07:58.840 point because the video is aimed at them and it's an advice now the matter of zina is a big sin it's a

00:08:04.760 major sin do you get what I'm trying to say that's what allah says in the quran don't even go near it 1.00

00:08:10.680 you know zina don't even go near it and that is one of the only sins what allah says do not 1.00

00:08:16.760 even go near it so if you know zina is here instead of saying hey let me just walk around it

00:08:23.400 no allah says go around the block don't even just even if you know okay no no no go around the block 0.70

00:08:29.560 now a lot of people think when allah says don't go near zina it means don't go near sexual intercourse

00:08:34.680 no anything that leads to that stay away from it stay well away from it and allah says in the

00:08:41.880 quran in surah full come verse 68 to 70 which you can check for yourself I'm going to power phrase

00:08:45.720 allah says for those who commit shirk and murder and zina these are the major sins and um whoever 0.99

00:08:52.040 does this I will double the punishment for them on the day of resurrection on the day of judgment

00:08:56.280 however for those who repent sincerely not only will I forgive them but turn their bad deeds into good

00:09:03.560 deeds so allah is telling you the major sins and if you commit them the punishment will be doubled

00:09:09.320 for you however if you repent sincerely now how do you repent sincerely brothers and sisters

00:09:14.200 number one we need to stop the sin we need to acknowledge zina I committed it you made a mistake 0.52

00:09:18.680 okay allah says all my servants have transgressed against themselves never despair the mercy of your

00:09:23.880 law never despair the mercy of your lord so number one don't despair allah's mercy for you to think that

00:09:29.960 allah won't forgive you is a sin within itself so number one you've acknowledged you've done wrong

00:09:33.560 stop the sin repent sincerely repent and make sure you do not go back to the sin yeah and inshallah

00:09:40.680 obviously try to do more good deeds so allah will not only forgive you for that specific sin inshallah

00:09:46.600 will also turn it into good deeds now brothers and sisters I truly believe one of the main reasons why

00:09:53.640 sisters and brothers fall into this sin is because the lack of tawhid a lack of understanding who

00:09:59.640 your lord is and the way to worship him and your salah a salah is very important brothers and

00:10:04.520 sisters if you do not have that connection with your lord if you don't even know who your lord is

00:10:09.560 and his oneness and how to worship him not through the graves or not worship through statues or going

00:10:15.720 to these uh people who tell you about your future because you're curious if you do not have your tawhid

00:10:20.760 on point if you don't understand your lord his work his lordship to worship him him alone and sing singling

00:10:28.120 him out in everything that he does and having your salah on point what will happen is you're going to

00:10:34.200 go astray because you have no connection with your lord you don't know who your lord is if you don't

00:10:38.120 know who your lord is and you don't acknowledge what he wants from you for your own benefit then

00:10:43.480 how could you obey him how could you obey him when you don't even know him you need to get to know him

00:10:48.360 and for you to have that connection is your five daily salah this is so important brothers and sisters

00:10:54.040 you need to have that because the salah keeps you away from these things if you really truly have

00:10:58.840 that connection with allah inshallah you will be protected against zina and other sins as well 1.00

00:11:03.560 this is really important now i got a message a couple of months ago from a sister who said

00:11:09.240 that she was invited to a hotel room and in this hotel room obviously she went there and

00:11:15.000 um she ended up coming in zina and she will she seemed surprised she was like i didn't know that

00:11:19.880 was going to happen now obviously may allah forgive the sister etc but i'm just being realistic and i'm

00:11:25.000 not meaning in a way of mocking her but if a man is inviting you to a hotel now my dear sis i'm just

00:11:31.560 talking in general right do you are you thinking that you're going there because the brother wants to

00:11:36.760 play monopoly with you like a game of monopoly or a game of chess you need to understand that look

00:11:42.360 there's two things either you are really naive like really really naive okay or you are acting

00:11:51.400 naive you know very well what's going to happen there you know very well why he's inviting you

00:11:56.200 there you know very well why he even asked for your number in the first place and not didn't and didn't

00:12:00.600 do it in a halal way you know so for you to be surprised and you're going there and that happened

00:12:06.360 and you're regretting it like i said you're either really naive or you're acting naive and this is what

00:12:10.520 this video is about now sisters you need to understand something if a man approaches you on

00:12:15.160 the street and talking to you in a flirty way asking for your number you need to acknowledge

00:12:19.560 that look does this guy really want to marry me or why is he approaching me what is the reason behind

00:12:26.040 him approaching me you know if he's talking to me and he's telling me oh uh when you say okay i

00:12:30.680 want to get my brother involved he goes oh no no no you need to think to yourself why does he not want

00:12:35.880 your family involved why is he not speaking to your wali why is he not speaking to your brother

00:12:40.040 why does he want not he doesn't want things to be in a halal way you need to question yourself that

00:12:45.320 instead of making excuses for him thinking oh you know uh like you meet somebody he gives you promises

00:12:50.920 oh let me work i'm still not ready for marriage you need to think not make an excuse for him oh you

00:12:55.160 know maybe you know he hasn't got work no you need to say hold on a second you know why why are you

00:12:59.240 approaching me if you are not ready for marriage if you're not financially ready why are you

00:13:03.640 approaching me you need to think like that otherwise you can't fool yourself and think

00:13:08.440 oh let me make excuses for him maybe he's not ready no if he's not ready why is he approaching

00:13:12.280 in the first place so you need to understand this sister specifically because otherwise playing like

00:13:18.280 i said before a lot of some women out there like we interviewed as well they play the naive role and 1.00

00:13:24.120 you need to understand sisters that you're playing the naive role or or the or the dumb role should i say 0.97

00:13:28.440 say which is a matter that is really major you're talking about zina here you are acting naive on 0.91

00:13:36.280 purpose knowing that is what you're doing about getting to know him meeting up in private nobody

00:13:41.560 knows this is going to lead eventually to some sort of zina you know that so what you're doing is you

00:13:46.360 think you're fooling yourself or you're fooling the other person or which is even worse are you

00:13:52.280 fooling allah think about that for a second are you fooling allah by thinking okay i'm gonna act

00:13:57.400 naive because i want to commit zina with this guy so everything that you're thinking in your head don't

00:14:02.280 you think the angels are writing it down don't you think the lord who has created you which this is

00:14:06.600 why i said the lack of tawhid in yourself because if you had tawhid you would know allah's the all

00:14:10.760 hearing the all knowing he knows what's within yourself better than you so the fact that you're

00:14:15.880 thinking that you're fooling yourself or you're fooling like uh the guy opposite you are you fooling allah

00:14:23.560 think about that for a second sisters please are you fooling allah and brothers who can get into 0.84

00:14:28.360 these acts as well who are you fooling the one that created you are you fooling him so sisters and

00:14:33.960 brothers and specifically like i said sisters please acknowledge this but one other point that i really

00:14:39.080 want to address before i come to the comments of instagram and facebook this is really important and i'm

00:14:43.880 going to tell you guys something real like i've heard it from brothers myself i've heard it from brothers

00:14:49.080 myself uh sisters i really want you guys to listen there is there was a brother that i knew myself

00:14:55.880 right and he would tell me that he would genuinely want to meet sisters for marriage right maybe he was

00:15:01.960 not going about the right way but this was due to him being new to islam so he did not know much so he

00:15:06.600 didn't know about this wali and etc so he was seeing a muslim sisters who wore hijab and didn't wear

00:15:11.400 hijab as well for marriage and he said that he was gobsmacked he was gobsmacked that he came to islam and

00:15:17.640 he's meeting these sisters for marriage some hijabi some non-hijabi and that these sisters will 0.99

00:15:21.800 actually flirt with him and will give him the hint that they want to commit zina with him like 0.99

00:15:25.480 he they will give him the hint and this brother will tell me you know and he would say look one of

00:15:31.080 the things that he would do is this and this is very important i want brothers to listen to this as

00:15:35.080 well is that just because a woman does not respect herself when you are going to see this girl for

00:15:41.160 marriage and she starts acting or buki you know she starts acting like you know she wants to flirt with

00:15:45.400 you and you can hit that look if you go forward like if you go with the flow you're gonna end up

00:15:49.000 committing zina now this brother will say to me every time this would occur like he would really

00:15:54.040 like let's say they're in a public place coffee shop wherever or she's giving this hints or acting in a

00:15:58.520 flirty way he would really remind her say look sister like please don't get me wrong but i came here for

00:16:03.320 marriage but you're really acting in inappropriate ways and i see you like my own sister and i feel

00:16:07.560 really sad now the reason why i'm telling you this sisters and brothers is just because a woman doesn't 1.00

00:16:14.280 respect herself and is acting in that manner does not mean that you also disrespect her because a

00:16:19.880 lot of guys say hey man she doesn't respect herself i don't care i'm just going to use it and leave her 1.00

00:16:24.360 this is not what this is not what a muslim man does this is not a characteristic or a muslim man you 0.98

00:16:29.560 don't say okay just because that person that sister doesn't respect herself and she wants to come

00:16:34.200 and you just say yeah let me go with the flow no this is not what your dean teaches you should know better

00:16:40.360 you should say you know what sister i'm sorry i came here for marriage but you're acting in this way

00:16:44.920 and you're like my sister i just want to give you a couple of words of advice wallahi by allah this this

00:16:50.280 brother would say that these sisters that he would talk to and advise knowing how they would inappropriately 1.00

00:16:55.640 act with him would message him couple of months down the line and say brother that day i was going

00:17:01.160 through tests or this that family problems and i lost it and i just didn't care about anything but the fact

00:17:06.440 that you didn't use me when i was vulnerable you did not use me and said you know what sister you're

00:17:11.400 like my own sister what like why would you do this and advise me has changed me today has made me a

00:17:17.000 better person the fact that you did not drop to my level at that state when i was and you advise me

00:17:22.840 has changed me and i want to say thank you and i want to say you know like like the sisters would and

00:17:28.040 this is a true story you know and this is what's so important just because a woman is playing a 0.86

00:17:34.760 naive game or acting silly you know um playing the dumb role when i mean dumb wrong i'm not calling 0.99

00:17:39.480 sisters dumb i'm saying they act dumb whereas they're actually clever they know what they're 0.99

00:17:44.040 doing if that makes sense so just because a woman doesn't respect herself as a muslim man or any kind 0.99

00:17:50.120 of man i i i advise anyone do not drop to a level be the better person and say sister i sense this in

00:17:56.600 you and you're trying to take down that route but i don't want to go down that route you're like my

00:18:00.600 sister and advise that person and i think this is the best way how we as muslim man should be

00:18:06.520 even if we see somebody not respecting their self this is really important because that could be your

00:18:10.440 own sister and we should really acknowledge that obviously i don't want to go on further guys i

00:18:14.200 want to read the comments and hope you guys have benefited inshallah but let's just go through a few

00:18:18.040 comments uh brother imtiaz said yes brother ali you are right some women do play the naive role in order 1.00

00:18:23.720 to commit zina so that they feel less guilty about it and also deflect the blame onto the man 0.99

00:18:31.320 sister samira says no women are not dumb when it comes to zina they are just as aware and down for 1.00

00:18:37.400 it as men but some women or girls do get easily influenced like they feel the need to commit the act 0.91

00:18:43.240 as they want to impress the man i think you should impress your lord not a man

00:18:49.000 you know you know impress your lord with good deeds don't impress a man with bad deeds 0.96

00:18:52.840 okay sister zainab said well it takes two to tango so whether they're playing the dumb role

00:19:05.080 or not they most definitely know what they're up to there's no denying that um sister zamzam a 0.82

00:19:11.320 lot of girls know better but they either have low self-esteem or they're asking for attention and so 1.00

00:19:16.680 they ignore the problem i think this is where the dean comes in making sure the environment you're

00:19:21.240 do you're going to is halal or you surround yourself with other muslim women who the religion 1.00

00:19:27.160 for who put the religion first okay arif says brother arif some women played the victim under these

00:19:32.760 circumstances but usually they are the culprits instigating it men don't approach the woman until

00:19:37.640 the woman give off some sort of a single please don't hate me hope nobody hates you you know we 0.98

00:19:42.360 should speak the truth even if it's against ourselves uh sayino says to be honest a lot of women and men

00:19:48.280 don't even care it's nothing about dumbing down they literally just don't care okay um

00:19:54.760 okay it's somebody said it's a 50 50 dumb or not both instigate it both carry the act out both are 0.75

00:20:00.120 responsible that's the plain truth okay so nesva says it depends on each individual there are women 1.00

00:20:05.800 who are genuinely naive and are taken advantage of i agree also there are women who are not so naive but

00:20:11.560 maybe to feel less guilty can use this an excuse is as an excuse to make themselves feel less bad

00:20:18.120 after then there are the people who just don't care either way sisters and brothers should be so

00:20:23.080 should be selfish and think of themselves first there is no one in the world who is worth committing

00:20:28.120 this sin for respect yourself very well said sister patricia says some women are messed up sorry to say 1.00

00:20:32.760 this low self-esteem no confidence and they think that a man will make them feel better biggest delusion

00:20:39.080 first you need to fix yourself before allowing another person into your life i think we'll leave

00:20:43.000 that brothers and sisters i think you guys get the point uh like i said before most of my videos are

00:20:48.120 about males but females are not perfect themselves and like i said before brothers and sisters understand

00:20:54.440 tauheed understand the connection with your lord have that connection with your lord with your salah and

00:21:00.200 inshallah with the permission of allah you can protect yourself from these filthy acts you know these acts are 0.82

00:21:05.400 nothing but filth and the punishment is severe in islam you know and it's not worth it brothers and 1.00

00:21:09.720 sisters not only are you degrading yourself but you're committing a major sin for a person who on

00:21:15.080 the day of judgment is going to ask allah to throw you into the hell fire instead of him you know or vice 0.71

00:21:20.680 versa her so inshallah keep that in mind may allah grant every single one of you guys jannah

00:21:25.560 make dua from inshallah and may allah purify our intentions and that's about it please do subscribe

00:21:30.520 subscribe and do check out i've done a video with mufti menk about these matters uh forced marriages

00:21:35.720 parents refusing a proposal how to protect yourself from zina halal dating check that out at the end of

00:21:41.400 the video assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:21:51.400 na na na na na na na

00:21:57.320 na na na na na na unanim 8

Ali Dawah - February 03, 2016

THE REALITY 13 ｜｜ Do women act naive for sex？

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