Ali Dawah - October 16, 2022WHAT IF THIS HAPPENED TO A WOMAN？
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about domestic abuse statistics and the role of women and children in domestic violence. We also discuss the difference between domestic violence between men and women, and the benefits and disadvantages of domestic violence in the modern era.
Transcript
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islamnet is establishing a masjid and a community center every person who prays
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in this masjid every child that memorized the quran you will inshallah
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share in that reward donate now guys and do not delay
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assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi barakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends
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our dear brother zhishan is away in pakistan so we are hosting the great
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honorable gentleman in our beloved house um so basically today's video um is i
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was actually looking at some domestic abuse statistics i thought is there anything on
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youtube there's georgia pieces to talk about anything and i came across this video of jerry
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mikhail okay so yeah so i came across this video um which should we watch it yeah okay go on let's
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watch it and i felt like she called the shots in this relationship she locked me in the flat one
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there she locked me in the flat obviously me being angry i didn't know that door was locked i've gone
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over i've grabbed the door handle pulled it and it's come straight up in my hands so i was stuck on a
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three-story ball three-story flat and i've had to jump off a three-story balcony all my back all my
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legs still not and i ended up in hospital you know because she won't let me out it's not funny though
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can i tell you why it's not funny i don't want to upset any of the audience because i completely
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appreciate the fact that you're here but i'll tell you why i don't think you should laugh
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if this was the other way around and a woman was sat here and a bloke had locked her in a flat and she had a
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jump out and injured herself you lot would not be laughing you would be saying he's a complete
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nightmare he should be locked up and that's disgraceful but somehow if it happens to a blow
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that's funny that's not funny is it what was your take on it because i i i take two things from it but
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your the audience reaction his story being locked up and the third story floor i actually disagree with
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general uh kyle here because what he was saying is that if it was the other way around
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but look i mean there are some things which if they were the other way around it's it's not equal
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but generally general is coming at it from almost a feminist perspective if you think about it the
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the assumption is that both of them are equal okay that a man and a woman are equal and so whatever
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one does to the other the other can do to one but the truth is i would say this like you know in terms
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of domestic abuse a man has an advantage okay and that's that is clear no one can say a man does not
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have an advantage and so to try and pretend as if a woman hitting a man is the same as a man hitting a
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woman in most cases it's not and just like i would say a man or a woman claiming that a man hit a woman
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you see so in other words a woman can fake a claim or that a woman can she's more likely according to
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statistics you know to you to make a claim uh that a man done certain things assault her
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in a certain way it could be even a sexual way and then retract that later on like for example
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warren has in his book uh the myth of male power the original book at the end of his book he had like
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a something like a pilot study of women who had said that they had faced some you know sexual assault
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or something and then admitted later on that that wasn't the case that they were doing it as as a
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measure of spite so what it is is that i feel we need to be fair uh i'll give you another statistic
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which is kind of unequal as well in relation to the genders and i think i saw this uh it could be the
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nspcc but i could be mistaken that the pro that the likelihood of a woman assaulting a child
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is is greater than a man i'm not saying it's because of whatever reason it's just probably
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because the woman has more time spent with the child now what we're saying is not everything is
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equal we should be looking as much and i say this clearly yeah we should be looking as much or even
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more so yeah at the amount of domestic abuse and when we say that we're talking about legitimate cases
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yeah that a man does to a woman as we do with a child and the woman because think about it i mean
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from a psychological perspective if if the child is being hit by his mother his mother is teaching him
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how to beat up other women because a child is being attacked by a woman that woman now she's being she's
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teaching the child if if you have a you know a conflict with your wife or with your partner deal with it
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in this way get physical so in other words violence is not the exclusive property of a man neither is
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malevolent deception which can which which can really harm somebody however the the permutations
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of that um are different between man and woman and so the the analysis is not okay is the domestic
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abuse or domestic violence between a man the same as a woman no a man has an advantage in most cases
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if a man puts his hand on a woman it's not the same as a woman putting a hand on a man
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a man is more likely to be able to defend himself from a woman than a woman be able to defend himself
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i mean think about it it's very difficult for us to sometimes as men to appreciate this but a woman
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who's vulnerable and she has a much bigger and stronger man who could potentially kill her in
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her house with her like a dangerous dog almost yeah i mean that's a very scary prospect but an angry
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woman who has a child in the house and we've seen videos of this online where you know women grabbing a
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baby and smashing its head and killing it true crime stories and all these kind of things is
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equally as problematic so we need to look at this matter of domestic violence in a completely different
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way so i disagree with the premise which uh car is is implicit in kyle's um thing which is that
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actually if it was a bloke the other way it's not the same though it's true but do you think he was
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making that premise or was he calling out the double standards of the feminist by saying okay you guys
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are laughing but what if this was a woman saying my husband locked me up in the third floor is violent
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towards me and i was thinking of jumping on the third floor would you guys be laughing so if he's
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making a premise i agree with you it would come because at the end of the day they're not the same
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and we know this if we look at america for example men's shelters if i'm not mistaken there are only two
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in whole of america and there is tens if not hundreds for women shelters which we're not denying
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yeah because it's kind of i'm not gonna say supply and demand but if women are being abused of
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course there's going to be more shelters however if we look at statistics as well which jordan
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pierson talks about women are as violent as men yeah but they're not they're not able to afflict as
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much violence exactly the only difference is that men can use lethal force and this is what we see
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when it comes to suicide women also commit suicide but men tend to kill themselves so we see the
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disparity there and also for example if i was to i'm not gonna give myself an example if i'm not
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gonna give you the example either imagine somebody goes down the train station and takes this
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top off yeah i've already done that exactly i don't want to give you an example yeah so it's not
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going to be as bad and this one one man said he said just imagine me excuse me if there's kids
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watching please not watch this yeah but this part if imagine you take out your private parts yeah
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you'll be outraged but a woman could easily just go and flash her breasts and everyone the last just
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coming up just celebrate it just imagine if a man did that so the the the confusion here is that
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number two the fact that the audience laughed about it it shows me the issue of the gender
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differences it's innately built within us why do they find the need to laugh i mean would you laugh
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if it was well no it shows you that innately you know the differences and to see a man in such a weak
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position being locked up by his girlfriend is a laughable matter so that shows us the bitter truth
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behind us of course is what that we innately no matter how much we try to say gender is social
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construct it's not it is something that we are born with and in many different instances like i
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said before and we'll say again if a woman is walking down the road and imagine i'm walking
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down the road with my wife and a man puts a knife out and i run away i mean how she's going to feel
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she's going to feel vulnerable violated she's going to think you left me at my most vulnerable
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moment would pierce morgan would jen jen mccullough anyone else come and say no that's his right
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every feminist would be like how dare you they would stick it on that guy yeah i think you make a good
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point and that's that's where the issue lies because for example uh if a woman put her hand
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on a man yeah and she harmed him yeah and and this man now is he's not responding because he knows
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if he responds there's going to be major legal ramifications yeah exactly now she can she can use
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a weapon she can get really physical can get harm him and stuff like that you know i'm trying to say so
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let's say she does that is the law going to see this case as it would see the other the opposite
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it wouldn't see it like the opposite even though let's say for example the man didn't do anything
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here so what i'm saying is that there's clearly a double standard that's going on what there's two
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there's two kinds of claims we need to be able to differentiate number one it's not the same if a man
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for the most part puts his hands on a woman why because it's true that he's stronger than the woman
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and by doing so when he puts his hand on her in a in a vicious way in a way to harm her
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you know harmful thing which our religion has made a very clear categorical um you know
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disallowance of prohibition of you know and the prophet clearly said that uh you know the
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is not allowed and so on which is that the the harmful and uh the hitting of a woman um and also
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you know there's another hadith actually quite interestingly which says that the worst of you are
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the ones who hit okay you know the ones the worst of you are the ones who here but if what if a
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woman is coming at you physically i mean coming like you know you can defend yourself no no you can
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but what yeah no no like a weak man trying to punch a bigger guy no i get it i get it and and even you
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know the ayan in the quran you know this if someone tried to do anything more than let's say the
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symbolic gesturing in this country and even if they did the symbolic gesturing they're putting
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themselves in a position of weakness because if the woman is scornful and she's spiteful she'll
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go to the police and maybe fabricate a story we're seeing more and more of these cases happen and
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this is what i was saying that the main issue in these countries is false reports that woman comes
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out and says this has happened to me and not that's not happened to her or that she started the um of
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the violence herself or that she claims that sexual assault has happened to her and she's using that as
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a weapon these are the issues and because the justice system is not built on high evidentiary bar like
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in islam where you need witnesses and all those kind of things women can women can weaponize uh accusation
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they are and so but the the way this is this whole thing has been formulated in this country has been
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has been horrible it's been absolutely it's one of the worst in history i've ever seen you know how
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a woman can can can accuse a man so it's horrible and that's why they gave birth to the red pill movement
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which we are against also but it just shows you you know when there's an uh action there's a reaction
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yeah exactly and i think that's it we're going to be talking more about these gender roles and stuff
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brothers sisters this was just our take on this matter tell me what you guys think and if muslims are
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watching look what like we do these videos to help the family as well understand your power towards
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like if you're married as well look as a woman a muslim woman it's your femininity i'll be honest
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with you and as a man it's your masculinity but it depends what you we define as a masculinity we're
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not talking about you know becoming violent but just find your true power within yourself don't try
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to be the opposite gender which we're seeing today that's it from me and mohammed ajab uh until next time
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islamnet is establishing a masjid and a community center if you donate to build this masjid allah
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will inshallah build the house for you in jannah with bricks of gold and silver every person who
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prays in this masjid every child that memorized the quran you will inshallah share in that reward