Ali Dawah - October 06, 2019


WHY CAN MEN GIVE DIVORCE？？ - YASMIN - SPEAKERS CORNER


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

196.2914

Word Count

1,976

Sentence Count

2

Misogynist Sentences

25

Hate Speech Sentences

47


Summary

In this episode, we speak to our sister, Yasmin, about the rights for women in divorce and marriage. She gives us her opinion on this topic and gives us some background on why it is important for women to have equal rights in marriage and divorce.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
00:00:05.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
00:00:07.000 Hope you guys are well inshaAllah
00:00:08.000 So here at Salaam Corner
00:00:10.000 We like to speak to youngsters
00:00:12.000 Muslims, non-Muslims as well
00:00:14.000 Those who might have doubts
00:00:16.000 Those who have questions
00:00:17.000 So we had our sister come here
00:00:19.000 Assalamualaikum sister
00:00:20.000 What's your name?
00:00:21.000 Yasmin
00:00:22.000 Sister Yasmin
00:00:23.000 So Sister Yasmin you had a question that you wanted to ask me
00:00:25.000 Yeah?
00:00:26.000 Yeah inshaAllah ask me
00:00:27.000 And inshaAllah let's see maybe other people who benefit as well
00:00:29.000 So can I hold it?
00:00:32.000 Speak loud
00:00:33.000 Alright cool
00:00:34.000 So my question was
00:00:37.000 The rights for women in divorce
00:00:40.000 And in marriage
00:00:41.000 Because it's not that I think it's bad
00:00:43.000 I just think I haven't got knowledge about it
00:00:45.000 And I think it'd be bad if I didn't have knowledge about it
00:00:47.000 So basically you want to know why
00:00:49.000 Yeah I just want to know the big thing about it
00:00:51.000 Because I'm not too big on it
00:00:53.000 Okay so now
00:00:55.000 The reason why that firstly
00:00:57.000 In certain different religions
00:01:01.000 For example as a Jewish woman
00:01:03.000 There's something called a get
00:01:05.000 Yeah?
00:01:06.000 This is something the Jewish woman asks for
00:01:07.000 Yeah?
00:01:08.000 So if the
00:01:09.000 So if a Jewish woman
00:01:11.000 Asks for a get divorce
00:01:13.000 If the husband doesn't give it
00:01:15.000 She's stuck with him
00:01:16.000 For the rest of his life
00:01:17.000 Yeah?
00:01:18.000 Now islamically
00:01:20.000 Why it's legislated
00:01:21.000 For a man
00:01:22.000 Is because Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
00:01:24.000 Created us
00:01:25.000 He knows how we operate most
00:01:26.000 Yeah?
00:01:27.000 The best
00:01:28.000 Yeah?
00:01:29.000 So this comes back to the issue of Tawheed
00:01:31.000 Understanding who Allah is
00:01:32.000 Yeah?
00:01:33.000 So there's certain things that Allah has legislated
00:01:35.000 For a woman
00:01:36.000 Yeah?
00:01:37.000 Okay?
00:01:38.000 So for example a woman
00:01:39.000 You can't go to war
00:01:40.000 Yeah?
00:01:41.000 Now this doesn't mean every single woman can't
00:01:43.000 Because we know there was
00:01:44.000 I think there was Khawla bin
00:01:46.000 I can't remember
00:01:47.000 Yeah she was
00:01:48.000 So there's specific instances
00:01:49.000 But there's certain things that you've been legislated
00:01:51.000 That we haven't
00:01:52.000 I can come and say
00:01:53.000 You know what?
00:01:54.000 Hold on a second
00:01:55.000 Why do I need to go kill myself?
00:01:56.000 You as a woman
00:01:57.000 You go
00:01:58.000 You go and fight for me
00:01:59.000 Yeah?
00:02:00.000 So that's one point
00:02:01.000 Now the other aspect of it is
00:02:02.000 Is that there was a recent study done
00:02:04.000 And I was trying to look for the source
00:02:06.000 I'll link it
00:02:07.000 Even
00:02:08.000 This was done by non-Muslims
00:02:09.000 It shows that women are more likely to end the relationship
00:02:12.000 They are more prone to it
00:02:13.000 Yeah?
00:02:14.000 Now biologically you know we're different
00:02:16.000 Yeah?
00:02:17.000 You're quite different etc
00:02:18.000 Even I believe emotionally
00:02:20.000 Yeah?
00:02:21.000 When a woman goes for menstruation
00:02:23.000 Menopause etc
00:02:24.000 Even recently they're talking about
00:02:26.000 Giving a woman rights
00:02:27.000 Like she takes time off
00:02:28.000 When she's going through menopause
00:02:29.000 Yeah?
00:02:30.000 So there's different things that you go through
00:02:32.000 Now in those instances
00:02:33.000 You say things you don't mean
00:02:34.000 Yeah?
00:02:35.000 Now
00:02:36.000 And you're smiling
00:02:37.000 Why are you smiling?
00:02:38.000 Because you know that as a woman
00:02:39.000 Yeah?
00:02:40.000 So why Allah has legislated that
00:02:41.000 Is because if a woman had the power of talaq
00:02:43.000 They'll be divorced like it's happy days
00:02:45.000 Talaq, talaq, talaq
00:02:46.000 You came home like talaq
00:02:47.000 You didn't smile at me talaq
00:02:49.000 You probably have another wife talaq
00:02:51.000 Yeah?
00:02:52.000 Left, right, centre
00:02:53.000 Yeah?
00:02:54.000 So the reason why Allah has legislated it for a man
00:02:56.000 And there's regulations in places as well
00:02:58.000 Yeah?
00:02:59.000 Is that a man
00:03:00.000 Obviously he doesn't go through certain issues
00:03:02.000 That a woman go through
00:03:03.000 Yeah?
00:03:04.000 So for a man
00:03:05.000 To him to give talaq
00:03:07.000 He will not give it that easily
00:03:09.000 Even though there's some men who get angry etc
00:03:11.000 Yeah?
00:03:12.000 But it comes with consequences
00:03:13.000 Now why did this verse come down?
00:03:15.000 Why was it free talaq?
00:03:17.000 Yeah?
00:03:18.000 Imam Qutubi
00:03:19.000 Yeah?
00:03:20.000 He says
00:03:21.000 That before in the times of Arabia
00:03:22.000 Yeah?
00:03:23.000 Men
00:03:24.000 What they would do is
00:03:25.000 They'll divorce their wife
00:03:26.000 Their wife wants to move on
00:03:27.000 They'll say
00:03:28.000 No, I'll take you back
00:03:29.000 Yeah?
00:03:30.000 So what they would do is
00:03:31.000 They would abuse this power
00:03:32.000 So they would say
00:03:33.000 Okay, I'll divorce you
00:03:34.000 She would want to go move on with another man
00:03:36.000 No, I'll take you back
00:03:37.000 So this was oppressing the woman
00:03:39.000 And not giving her the rights to move on
00:03:41.000 So Allah limited it to three
00:03:44.000 Meaning
00:03:46.000 If a man gives his wife divorce
00:03:49.000 That's one
00:03:50.000 Yeah?
00:03:51.000 If he does it again
00:03:52.000 That's two
00:03:53.000 On the third one
00:03:54.000 If he gives it again
00:03:55.000 Why has Allah
00:03:56.000 Did you know that
00:03:57.000 If a man divorces his wife
00:03:58.000 Three times
00:03:59.000 Not in the same time
00:04:01.000 Yeah?
00:04:02.000 There's a different opinion
00:04:03.000 Some say
00:04:04.000 If you say talaq, talaq, talaq
00:04:05.000 It counts as one
00:04:06.000 If a man does talaq
00:04:07.000 On three separate occasions
00:04:09.000 That a woman
00:04:11.000 Cannot get back with him
00:04:12.000 Did you know that?
00:04:13.000 Did you know that
00:04:14.000 She has to go
00:04:15.000 And get married to another man
00:04:17.000 Move on with her life
00:04:18.000 And if that doesn't work out
00:04:20.000 Then she can get back
00:04:21.000 With the first husband
00:04:23.000 Okay
00:04:24.000 The reason why that's there
00:04:26.000 Is to protect the woman
00:04:27.000 Why?
00:04:28.000 Because if
00:04:29.000 Talaq had no limits
00:04:31.000 How can you say divorce?
00:04:32.000 Take you back
00:04:33.000 Like what the Arabs were doing
00:04:34.000 Yeah?
00:04:35.000 The reason why he's done that
00:04:36.000 Is because now
00:04:37.000 On the third talaq
00:04:38.000 The man knows he's got
00:04:39.000 Three times
00:04:40.000 Yeah?
00:04:41.000 Free shots
00:04:42.000 He knows
00:04:43.000 If he says talaq
00:04:44.000 And then he says talaq
00:04:45.000 Again
00:04:46.000 On the third time
00:04:47.000 If he says it again
00:04:48.000 You know what that means?
00:04:49.000 The consequence is this
00:04:50.000 Your wife
00:04:51.000 Is haram for you
00:04:52.000 She's gonna have to go
00:04:54.000 And get married to another man
00:04:55.000 Now would any man want that?
00:04:57.000 But what about the man
00:04:59.000 Who says you know what?
00:05:00.000 I don't care
00:05:01.000 That means that
00:05:02.000 The divorce that he's given
00:05:04.000 He's calculated that
00:05:05.000 She's gonna end up going
00:05:06.000 She's gonna move on
00:05:07.000 So the reason why he's given to a man
00:05:09.000 Is because
00:05:10.000 The reasons why
00:05:11.000 The studies show
00:05:12.000 That a woman would ask for it
00:05:14.000 Because of emotional reasons
00:05:15.000 Various reasons
00:05:16.000 Yeah?
00:05:17.000 And believe me this is a reality
00:05:18.000 That's the reason why Allah has legislated it for a man
00:05:20.000 To have that control
00:05:21.000 But however
00:05:22.000 That doesn't mean
00:05:23.000 You don't have a right
00:05:24.000 You're not a Jewish woman
00:05:25.000 Jewish women have no right
00:05:26.000 You can ask for divorce
00:05:28.000 You can ask for khula
00:05:29.000 Yeah?
00:05:30.000 And if he doesn't give it
00:05:32.000 Yeah?
00:05:33.000 You can go to a Imam
00:05:35.000 And say
00:05:36.000 Look I want a divorce from my husband
00:05:37.000 So Islam has given you this right
00:05:39.000 If I'm not mistaken
00:05:40.000 The pagan woman never had those rights
00:05:45.000 So
00:05:46.000 In general
00:05:47.000 Yeah
00:05:48.000 I understand
00:05:49.000 But we don't have the same rights
00:05:50.000 I know that
00:05:51.000 Because a lot of non-lizr
00:05:52.000 Try to use it against me
00:05:53.000 You know
00:05:54.000 Your prophets are a little efficient
00:05:55.000 In reality like
00:05:56.000 No you see
00:05:57.000 That's what we say to you sister
00:05:58.000 Don't
00:05:59.000 Please
00:06:00.000 Listen I know
00:06:01.000 But what I'm trying to say is
00:06:02.000 I know for a fact that
00:06:03.000 We are not equal
00:06:04.000 Men from women
00:06:05.000 Because if that was so
00:06:06.000 We are equal in the sight of Allah
00:06:07.000 In the sight of Allah
00:06:08.000 But exactly
00:06:09.000 Because if that was so
00:06:10.000 I would be
00:06:11.000 I would be able to box you
00:06:12.000 I would be able to
00:06:13.000 Exactly
00:06:14.000 Go to war
00:06:15.000 I understand that point
00:06:16.000 Whatever you understood
00:06:18.000 Not that I think that is wrong
00:06:19.000 Or right
00:06:20.000 But I just never understood
00:06:21.000 The knowledge about it
00:06:22.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:06:23.000 Yeah
00:06:24.000 How come
00:06:26.000 The fact that my Jannah
00:06:27.000 Depends on my future husband
00:06:29.000 I never really understood that
00:06:30.000 You know what?
00:06:31.000 So they say that
00:06:33.000 If I'm not good to my husband
00:06:35.000 Etc
00:06:36.000 I'm not good to him
00:06:37.000 If I don't
00:06:38.000 My Jannah basically
00:06:39.000 No no basically I think the Prophet
00:06:40.000 said
00:06:41.000 Something like that
00:06:42.000 I'm not knowledgeable about it
00:06:43.000 No the Prophet
00:06:44.000 I think he said
00:06:45.000 That if a woman
00:06:46.000 Is good towards her husband
00:06:48.000 And she
00:06:49.000 She protects her honour
00:06:51.000 And if her husband
00:06:52.000 Is pleased with
00:06:53.000 There's three things
00:06:54.000 That Allah will say
00:06:55.000 Enter paradise
00:06:56.000 Paradise from any door you like
00:06:58.000 This doesn't mean
00:06:59.000 That you
00:07:00.000 Your only way to paradise
00:07:02.000 Is by
00:07:03.000 Listening to your husband
00:07:04.000 Now you need to understand
00:07:05.000 Here it's talking about
00:07:06.000 Most likely
00:07:07.000 Talking about
00:07:08.000 A decent husband
00:07:09.000 No one's saying
00:07:10.000 Your husband that
00:07:11.000 Punches you in the face
00:07:12.000 Beats you up
00:07:13.000 Cheats on you
00:07:14.000 When you go Jannah
00:07:15.000 Allah is not saying that
00:07:16.000 The Prophet is not saying that
00:07:17.000 Saying
00:07:19.000 That for example
00:07:20.000 Like one of the hadith
00:07:21.000 That majority
00:07:22.000 A lot of people
00:07:23.000 Of the hell
00:07:25.000 Would be women
00:07:26.000 Why?
00:07:27.000 Because they were ungrateful
00:07:28.000 To their husband
00:07:29.000 Yeah?
00:07:30.000 So now the reason why
00:07:31.000 That's in place
00:07:32.000 Because we're talking about
00:07:33.000 A man who's
00:07:34.000 Looking after his wife
00:07:35.000 He's honourable
00:07:36.000 He's treating her right
00:07:37.000 He's taking care of her
00:07:38.000 And then she's ungrateful
00:07:39.000 Yeah?
00:07:40.000 She goes and does stuff
00:07:41.000 Behind his back
00:07:42.000 So it's talking about
00:07:43.000 In context
00:07:44.000 So like even when it says
00:07:45.000 That the angels
00:07:46.000 Curse the woman
00:07:47.000 Who doesn't have intimacy
00:07:48.000 With her husband
00:07:49.000 The point here is
00:07:50.000 People make it
00:07:51.000 Twist it and like
00:07:52.000 Oh you didn't have
00:07:54.000 Oh just because
00:07:55.000 You don't want intimacy
00:07:56.000 No!
00:07:57.000 It's not because of that
00:07:58.000 It's because
00:07:59.000 A man in this time of fitna
00:08:00.000 Yeah?
00:08:01.000 He wants to be with his wife
00:08:02.000 If the wife is stopping that
00:08:03.000 What you're doing
00:08:04.000 Is you're oppressing the husband
00:08:05.000 Do you get it?
00:08:06.000 And the same goes for the woman
00:08:08.000 Because there was a woman
00:08:09.000 Who came to the Prophet
00:08:10.000 Peace be upon him
00:08:11.000 And said I want divorce
00:08:12.000 Because my husband
00:08:13.000 Doesn't sexually satisfy me
00:08:14.000 Yeah?
00:08:15.000 So that's her right
00:08:16.000 Like I'm being honest with you
00:08:17.000 The reason I'm saying this
00:08:18.000 Is because look
00:08:19.000 In the religion
00:08:20.000 There's no shyness
00:08:21.000 Yeah?
00:08:22.000 This is a religion
00:08:23.000 The women were praised
00:08:24.000 Aisha r. Anham praised
00:08:25.000 Ansari women
00:08:26.000 She said may Allah bless them
00:08:27.000 Because they're not shy
00:08:28.000 They want to learn
00:08:29.000 Yeah?
00:08:30.000 So I understand the topics
00:08:31.000 Are a bit
00:08:32.000 You know
00:08:33.000 I understand you know
00:08:34.000 We should have
00:08:35.000 Hayah
00:08:36.000 But the issue here is
00:08:37.000 We're learning
00:08:38.000 Yeah?
00:08:39.000 The Prophet
00:08:40.000 The Prophet
00:08:41.000 Gave her the divorce
00:08:42.000 You know
00:08:43.000 After a certain thing
00:08:44.000 Yeah?
00:08:45.000 He gave her a divorce
00:08:46.000 Why?
00:08:47.000 Because intimacy
00:08:48.000 Is the right of the wife
00:08:49.000 And the husband
00:08:50.000 Do you get what you're trying to say?
00:08:51.000 He wanted intimacy
00:08:52.000 But the man didn't
00:08:53.000 What right does that have?
00:08:54.000 What if the what?
00:08:55.000 What if the woman
00:08:56.000 Wanted the intimacy
00:08:57.000 But the man didn't
00:08:58.000 What right does that have?
00:08:59.000 He's sinning
00:09:00.000 He's sinning
00:09:01.000 This is the right of
00:09:02.000 His
00:09:03.000 So am I allowed to divorce him
00:09:04.000 In the future
00:09:05.000 Yes
00:09:06.000 The hadith of the Prophet
00:09:07.000 You are allowed
00:09:08.000 To ask for divorce
00:09:09.000 If he
00:09:10.000 If you believe
00:09:11.000 If a woman believes sexually
00:09:12.000 That he
00:09:13.000 Forget he doesn't do it
00:09:15.000 If she says that
00:09:16.000 He does but I'm not happy
00:09:18.000 She
00:09:19.000 That woman came and said
00:09:20.000 I'm not satisfied with this man
00:09:22.000 She didn't say he doesn't do it
00:09:23.000 He said I am not satisfied with him
00:09:25.000 So the Prophet gave the divorce
00:09:28.000 Let's answer your question
00:09:29.000 Yes
00:09:30.000 Allah bless you
00:09:31.000 Inshallah I hope this answers
00:09:32.000 Your question brothers and sisters as well
00:09:34.000 We're here to
00:09:35.000 Inshallah have these dialogues and discussions
00:09:37.000 So our youngsters
00:09:38.000 Can learn from this
00:09:39.000 Inshallah as well
00:09:40.000 So yeah
00:09:41.000 So Inshallah our sister came here
00:09:42.000 She had a genuine question
00:09:43.000 We answered that question Inshallah
00:09:44.000 And Inshallah
00:09:45.000 It's
00:09:46.000 Inshallah
00:09:48.000 So Inshallah that's answered
00:09:49.000 Your guys question as well
00:09:50.000 We're at the park every Sunday
00:09:51.000 You can come here
00:09:52.000 You can have dialogue with us
00:09:53.000 Inshallah talk with us
00:09:54.000 Have your concerns
00:09:55.000 You know we're here to talk
00:09:56.000 Not to judge
00:09:57.000 Thank you sister
00:09:58.000 May Allah bless you Inshallah
00:09:59.000 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatullahi wabarakatuh
00:10:00.000 Thank you
00:10:01.000 Thank you
00:10:02.000 Thank you
00:10:03.000 Thank you