Ali Dawah - WHY DOES HER VIRGINITY MATTER？ - EP 4 ｜

00:00:00.000 the brothers are asking how do i know on the marriage night how can i tell she's a virgin

00:00:04.640 and the sisters will ask how can i hide it because i have committed a sin i have committed

00:00:11.280 sister sister what does that mean what does that mean why does a woman's past matter sharia but

00:00:16.560 what about like spiritually a man who slept a lot around spiritually i don't think he's going to be

00:00:22.960 any healthier than a woman has that's not sorry that's not true that's not true on a spiritual

00:00:28.000 level no that's not true no no i'm saying on a spiritual level of course not true but can you

00:00:32.640 answer the question within that yeah yeah yeah yeah for me yeah it wouldn't be a problem for me

00:00:38.080 for us yeah you might be better than many many sisters out there yeah you don't see so sorry

00:00:43.520 you're contradicting what you just are no no no you just said you just said you wouldn't accept the

00:00:47.680 sister if she had i never said what i'm saying is this the consequences are not the same so i do

00:00:56.400 think the responsibility lays on men to stop perpetuating that a woman is stained when she

00:01:04.960 has been she's got she's got 30 seconds she's got 30 seconds

00:01:07.680 wish

00:01:15.440 um

00:01:31.360 and

00:01:34.320 We want to establish an amazing masjid

00:01:40.680 For the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:01:42.480 In the country of Norway

00:01:44.400 Click on the link and donate now

00:01:47.380 For the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:01:49.320 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:01:50.760 Brothers and sisters and dear friends

00:01:51.860 Hope you guys are well inshallah

00:01:52.700 Welcome to another episode of The Bitter Truth

00:01:54.840 We're here to inshallah

00:01:56.100 Derive some truths from our guests

00:01:58.360 Inshallah

00:01:58.940 From Quran and the Sunnah

00:02:00.380 And today's topic is

00:02:02.360 I'll introduce you to the bitter buzzers

00:02:03.860 The bitter buzzers are

00:02:04.700 You know, if you want to say something

00:02:05.800 You feel very passionate about

00:02:07.080 Press it

00:02:07.440 You have a minute and a half to talk

00:02:08.720 Everyone will listen to you inshallah

00:02:09.600 You only have one chance to press that

00:02:11.680 Today's topic is

00:02:13.620 Does a man judge a woman by her past?

00:02:17.800 And does a woman judge a man by his future?

00:02:20.960 So, let me ask the sisters the question

00:02:23.300 Alright, let's start off with the first one

00:02:24.920 Does a man judge a woman by her past?

00:02:29.480 Yes

00:02:29.700 Okay, can you tell me why you gave some emphasis

00:02:33.460 Is there a shed on that?

00:02:34.620 Oh, yes

00:02:35.240 Oh, because

00:02:35.900 Very simple

00:02:37.120 Men

00:02:39.740 Men

00:02:40.280 Have some insecurities

00:02:42.440 Two types of insecurities

00:02:44.740 I learned that from a good teacher

00:02:46.620 By the way

00:02:46.920 And

00:02:47.760 Also, like

00:02:50.020 Men are very, very

00:02:50.980 They want to know

00:02:52.240 A lot of things

00:02:54.760 About the female

00:02:55.640 If she's been with somebody

00:02:57.220 She's even had a boyfriend

00:02:59.180 Her earlier life

00:03:00.720 You know

00:03:01.900 How she lived her earlier life

00:03:03.160 So, yeah

00:03:04.380 They do

00:03:05.400 Yes, I'm so sorry to stop you

00:03:06.920 Just to give a disclaimer

00:03:07.840 Because the thing is

00:03:08.620 We want this to help marriages

00:03:09.960 Not destroy marriages

00:03:10.700 If you're watching this

00:03:12.420 And I need to

00:03:13.040 Because I think this is where

00:03:13.980 It will answer the question of the sisters

00:03:15.180 And they will understand us men better

00:03:16.540 If you're a brother

00:03:17.720 And you are married to a sister

00:03:20.660 Who may have a past

00:03:22.040 Please

00:03:22.660 If this is going to affect you

00:03:23.540 Do not watch this

00:03:24.600 I'm telling you

00:03:25.560 Because

00:03:25.960 Wallahi

00:03:26.380 Let me tell you something

00:03:26.940 This can cause divorces

00:03:28.920 I hear stories

00:03:29.960 So I'm repeating it again

00:03:31.020 If you're watching this

00:03:32.400 And it's going to trigger you

00:03:33.440 You're going to go home

00:03:34.360 And make your wife's life hell

00:03:35.520 Please

00:03:36.280 For the sake of Allah

00:03:37.280 Turn it off

00:03:37.920 Go watch something else please, yeah

00:03:39.100 If you're watching it

00:03:40.320 To understand better

00:03:41.420 That's fine

00:03:42.320 But I'm warning again

00:03:43.780 If you're going to watch this

00:03:45.000 And it's going to have an impact on you

00:03:46.420 Where you're going to go home

00:03:47.360 And start causing havoc

00:03:49.500 Please

00:03:50.080 We're not here to cause

00:03:51.020 Destroy your marriage

00:03:52.020 We're here to help

00:03:52.660 Just to give that disclaimer

00:03:54.080 InshaAllah

00:03:54.280 Anything that's said here

00:03:54.960 Is to understand both men and women

00:03:56.680 Sorry, just to carry on

00:03:58.000 I just need to give that

00:03:58.560 I know many brothers

00:04:00.980 That

00:04:01.360 They're like

00:04:02.400 I don't want to ask

00:04:03.160 About her past

00:04:03.880 Because I'm scared that

00:04:05.300 Her past might change

00:04:06.940 My view or possession of her

00:04:08.340 But they can't control themselves

00:04:09.820 Men

00:04:11.540 So where does that come from?

00:04:13.600 Like

00:04:13.620 So women listening

00:04:14.540 Why

00:04:14.860 Why can't you just

00:04:16.280 Forgive and forget?

00:04:17.300 Why does it bother you so much?

00:04:18.660 Maybe sisters want to know

00:04:19.800 Listen, look

00:04:20.940 I'm not going to lie to you

00:04:21.820 Yeah

00:04:22.320 I'm not going to be

00:04:22.980 Here to please anybody

00:04:24.380 I may forgive

00:04:27.960 But I won't forget

00:04:28.560 Okay

00:04:29.800 And I can't listen

00:04:30.680 Me personally

00:04:31.400 I can't listen

00:04:31.900 If I'm talking to a girl

00:04:34.080 And I ask about her past

00:04:35.280 And she goes

00:04:35.640 Oh I heard like

00:04:36.200 Two, three boyfriends

00:04:36.860 Oh I've slept with this

00:04:38.020 This guy, that guy

00:04:38.980 Even if she's like

00:04:41.800 The perfect girl for me

00:04:43.100 My whole perception

00:04:43.920 And view of her

00:04:44.480 Would change dramatically

00:04:45.940 But as a woman

00:04:47.140 It's like

00:04:48.420 In Islam

00:04:49.200 It's not your business

00:04:51.080 Sister, I agree with you

00:04:52.340 And a woman

00:04:53.260 Who discloses her sins to you

00:04:55.520 If she did live

00:04:56.980 In a sinful past

00:04:58.560 She does not need to tell you

00:05:01.240 Or expose her sins to you

00:05:02.880 100%

00:05:03.400 So whether you are none the wiser

00:05:05.440 Or you find out

00:05:06.380 From a different source

00:05:07.580 Then that is your test

00:05:09.640 Between you and Allah

00:05:11.000 At the end of the day

00:05:12.360 Because

00:05:12.880 As Allah says

00:05:14.820 Those who conceal

00:05:17.000 Somebody else's sin

00:05:18.240 Allah will conceal yours

00:05:19.980 On the day of judgment

00:05:21.020 So it applies to a woman as well

00:05:23.300 Who has had a past

00:05:24.540 That is a very very good point

00:05:26.740 However

00:05:27.940 In my opinion

00:05:29.880 It's better the woman

00:05:31.720 If the guy asks the woman a question

00:05:33.680 It's better the woman to be honest

00:05:34.640 Before marriage

00:05:35.780 So the guy can accept or reject

00:05:37.800 Because if the guy finds out

00:05:39.120 During marriage

00:05:39.720 Then you're going to get divorced

00:05:40.800 You're going to get divorced

00:05:42.660 No, no, no

00:05:43.460 But it's better

00:05:44.260 You don't get married

00:05:45.100 Then you get married

00:05:45.960 And the guy finds out

00:05:46.640 During marriage

00:05:47.020 And you get divorced

00:05:47.520 What's better?

00:05:48.100 You get married and get divorced

00:05:49.660 Why does it matter?

00:05:51.080 Sister, sister

00:05:51.700 What does that mean?

00:05:52.920 What does that mean?

00:05:53.780 Why does a woman's past matter

00:05:55.600 If she has gone to

00:05:57.760 Al-Ghufar al-Rahim

00:06:00.340 The most merciful

00:06:01.940 And has asked for forgiveness

00:06:04.020 From the most forgiving

00:06:05.440 And you

00:06:06.780 Who are just a man

00:06:08.320 Cannot forgive that

00:06:09.480 Let's let it finish

00:06:10.180 Do you understand that?

00:06:11.800 Yeah

00:06:11.960 Let's go to Gabriel

00:06:15.040 And then

00:06:15.580 I'll say something

00:06:16.180 Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim

00:06:17.300 So I get two questions

00:06:19.640 And today I got

00:06:20.620 Yesterday

00:06:21.080 And today I got

00:06:22.600 A question from

00:06:23.440 Brother and sister

00:06:24.040 And I get it often

00:06:25.180 I'm trying to think

00:06:26.160 They've been asking

00:06:28.040 Okay, make a video about this

00:06:29.080 And the brothers are asking

00:06:29.960 How do I know

00:06:30.700 If my wife is a virgin?

00:06:33.460 Or how would I know

00:06:34.620 If my wife

00:06:35.360 On the marriage night

00:06:38.020 How can I tell

00:06:38.840 If she's a virgin?

00:06:40.080 And the sisters will ask

00:06:41.740 How can I hide it?

00:06:44.080 Because I have committed sin

00:06:45.400 I have committed sin

00:06:46.220 He's dying

00:06:48.560 Sorry

00:06:49.380 Carry on, carry on, carry on

00:06:51.020 So these are

00:06:51.920 Like yesterday

00:06:52.860 And today I received these

00:06:53.960 And I've been receiving it

00:06:55.180 But it's just so

00:06:56.140 It's very common

00:06:57.300 It's very common

00:06:58.120 Very common

00:06:58.580 So the sister was asking

00:06:59.780 Like okay

00:07:00.340 Literally I believe her

00:07:02.100 That she's very repentant

00:07:03.440 And all the sisters

00:07:05.260 Who have asked this question

00:07:06.160 And I also believe

00:07:08.360 The brothers are very concerned

00:07:09.420 As well

00:07:09.740 Who have asked

00:07:10.220 And they're very sincere

00:07:10.960 Yeah

00:07:11.300 So the sisters

00:07:13.480 Will basically say

00:07:15.240 It's part of the way

00:07:16.320 One sister framed it

00:07:17.280 Is that

00:07:17.540 Am I

00:07:18.040 Am I done?

00:07:19.900 Like do I still have hope

00:07:20.860 Of marrying a righteous man

00:07:22.160 Or not?

00:07:23.760 Right?

00:07:24.280 Like will Allah

00:07:24.820 Forgive me?

00:07:26.460 And from a perspective

00:07:27.720 The sharia

00:07:28.220 Indeed

00:07:29.180 Right?

00:07:30.240 Because the person

00:07:31.380 The sinner

00:07:32.600 Who makes tawbah

00:07:33.400 Is like the one

00:07:33.920 Who has never committed a sin

00:07:34.840 That's number one

00:07:35.520 Right?

00:07:36.600 So from the sharia perspective

00:07:37.840 But see here

00:07:39.340 We have to understand

00:07:40.540 Again what is fitrah

00:07:41.980 And what is sharia

00:07:42.900 Okay fitrah

00:07:44.240 Of the human being

00:07:45.520 Is different than the sharia

00:07:47.260 The sharia was revealed

00:07:49.280 Upon the fitrah

00:07:50.220 To fine tune it

00:07:51.320 So a human being

00:07:52.780 Has to hold themselves

00:07:54.340 For example

00:07:55.720 Sin

00:07:56.140 Is built in us

00:07:57.140 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:07:58.680 He has given us

00:08:01.260 The two paths

00:08:01.940 Right?

00:08:02.400 Yes

00:08:02.580 This is something

00:08:03.880 That Allah has built

00:08:04.480 Where did the ability

00:08:06.020 To sin come from?

00:08:07.560 Allah has created us

00:08:08.960 In such a way

00:08:09.580 Right?

00:08:11.140 Where this

00:08:11.760 These things

00:08:13.080 That we're talking about

00:08:14.020 Oh men cannot do this

00:08:15.500 Women cannot do that

00:08:16.040 This is fitrah

00:08:16.680 Allah has created us

00:08:18.180 In such a way

00:08:18.920 Yeah

00:08:19.120 Sharia was revealed

00:08:21.420 With the ahkam

00:08:22.100 To fine tune our fitrah

00:08:23.700 To make us

00:08:24.920 Go beyond

00:08:26.000 And hold ourselves

00:08:27.220 So let's say

00:08:27.740 You have this

00:08:28.420 Mindset

00:08:29.620 Where like

00:08:29.960 No I'm not going to

00:08:30.660 Accept this

00:08:31.140 No

00:08:31.340 It's like

00:08:31.960 But Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:08:33.000 Said for example

00:08:33.740 That

00:08:34.000 This person's forgiven

00:08:35.960 Can you

00:08:37.500 Take yourself

00:08:38.400 To that level

00:08:39.160 To

00:08:39.940 Mold your fitrah

00:08:41.640 To become

00:08:43.240 So strong

00:08:44.020 And so submissive

00:08:45.040 That you can

00:08:45.500 Overlook that

00:08:46.100 That's the question

00:08:46.980 And the reality

00:08:48.000 Is that

00:08:48.500 Some can

00:08:49.500 Some cannot

00:08:49.980 Exactly

00:08:50.620 And the question here

00:08:51.320 Is that

00:08:51.660 Is a man to blame

00:08:53.180 To not want that

00:08:54.920 Now

00:08:55.520 Just so you sisters

00:08:56.440 Understand where we're

00:08:57.240 Coming from

00:08:57.760 And it will resonate

00:08:59.440 At home

00:08:59.780 And sister soul

00:09:00.640 Please forgive me

00:09:01.140 For doing this

00:09:01.620 But polygamy

00:09:02.860 The reason I'm saying

00:09:04.720 Is because

00:09:05.180 If you look at

00:09:06.020 Polygamy

00:09:06.360 It's something

00:09:06.720 It's only the

00:09:07.240 Sixth episode

00:09:07.840 Yeah exactly

00:09:08.720 So if you think

00:09:10.640 About polygamy

00:09:11.240 To your fitrah

00:09:12.160 It's like

00:09:12.780 No way

00:09:14.120 This is how we feel

00:09:16.040 About a woman's past

00:09:17.080 And to your fitrah

00:09:17.620 It's like yeah

00:09:18.180 Yes

00:09:19.380 And then with us

00:09:20.580 A woman's past

00:09:21.780 Is like

00:09:22.160 But for you guys

00:09:23.700 It's like

00:09:24.080 Why

00:09:24.640 Do you understand

00:09:25.220 Just to give some

00:09:26.060 Perspective on

00:09:26.640 How we feel

00:09:27.640 Like how you guys

00:09:28.440 Feel about polygamy

00:09:29.220 And how we feel

00:09:30.680 About

00:09:31.080 The past

00:09:31.640 Oh that's a good point

00:09:32.600 You're comparing

00:09:33.240 Wow

00:09:33.560 I told you

00:09:35.080 I'm going to shine

00:09:36.480 You can't compare

00:09:36.920 Polygamy

00:09:37.720 Yes you can't

00:09:38.940 Because

00:09:39.120 You can't do somebody's past

00:09:40.080 No you're right

00:09:40.520 You're right

00:09:40.920 What's it what's it what's it

00:09:41.860 You're right

00:09:42.440 One is halal

00:09:43.000 One is haram

00:09:43.440 Sister one second

00:09:44.360 One is halal

00:09:44.860 One is haram

00:09:45.380 No not one is halal

00:09:46.800 One is haram

00:09:47.560 But polygamy is halal

00:09:48.340 I think

00:09:48.500 Yes

00:09:48.980 Polygamy is haram

00:09:50.780 Halal

00:09:51.660 Polygamy is haram

00:09:53.040 Sorry yeah

00:09:53.280 However

00:09:54.640 Can we relax please

00:09:55.720 For example

00:09:57.740 A past is a past

00:09:59.900 It's not

00:10:00.380 You can't correlate

00:10:01.720 The two

00:10:02.220 I don't think

00:10:02.940 We can do that

00:10:03.800 The woman's past can be

00:10:04.680 That she was married

00:10:05.180 Four times

00:10:05.800 It's still halal

00:10:06.880 No that's

00:10:07.340 I'm not talking about that

00:10:08.120 I never talked about that

00:10:09.340 We discussed that

00:10:10.820 Okay no I know

00:10:11.500 But the thing is

00:10:12.480 What we're seeing is

00:10:13.300 That talking about

00:10:13.980 Being married

00:10:14.540 And talking about

00:10:15.480 Somebody who

00:10:15.980 Had zina four times

00:10:17.660 To a man

00:10:18.220 Let's be honest

00:10:18.640 Is that the same

00:10:19.080 If I married a woman

00:10:20.800 And she was married

00:10:21.440 Three times

00:10:21.980 Wallahi ladeem

00:10:22.860 My concern is not

00:10:24.380 I wouldn't have a concern

00:10:25.620 Of

00:10:25.920 I don't know

00:10:26.520 Maybe it's just me

00:10:27.080 Yeah I wouldn't be thinking

00:10:28.080 Oh bro you got married

00:10:28.960 No problem

00:10:30.160 Yes there might be other concerns

00:10:31.540 Of why should you keep

00:10:32.180 Getting divorced

00:10:32.440 A reverse sister

00:10:33.080 Yeah

00:10:33.800 Who has had zina

00:10:34.980 Okay because that's all

00:10:36.180 She knew

00:10:36.540 She wasn't married

00:10:37.240 Okay she's converted

00:10:38.880 To some

00:10:39.400 Other guys opposed

00:10:40.400 Okay the sharia

00:10:41.600 Look they're very clear

00:10:42.660 They should do the sharia

00:10:43.320 The sharia says

00:10:43.860 Look for example

00:10:44.420 Allah says in the Quran

00:10:45.220 That a zani

00:10:46.120 Would only marry

00:10:47.120 Someone who's a zani

00:10:48.620 Yeah

00:10:48.780 Now the point

00:10:49.640 Point is this though

00:10:50.460 But if they repent

00:10:51.480 We need to understand this

00:10:52.220 Doesn't mean

00:10:52.840 The one who's committed zina

00:10:54.360 Is doomed to marry

00:10:55.180 Someone who's committed zina

00:10:55.800 I'm so sorry

00:10:56.440 Let's make this clear

00:10:58.120 The question is though

00:10:59.400 Should a man have a right to ask

00:11:01.300 But what he's saying

00:11:02.820 Is that this is something

00:11:03.760 That bothers us men

00:11:05.100 It bothers us

00:11:05.720 We didn't choose to be like this

00:11:07.020 But what I'm saying is

00:11:07.620 And again my opinion

00:11:08.720 And let's go to Dawud

00:11:09.340 If you're a man

00:11:10.860 That's slept around as well yourself

00:11:12.260 I think it's a bit hypocritical

00:11:13.720 For you to then start

00:11:14.560 Questioning the girl

00:11:15.520 But if you're a guy like me

00:11:17.420 Alhamdulillah

00:11:18.640 Yeah

00:11:19.400 Good

00:11:20.320 Good boy yeah

00:11:21.200 It's not the same

00:11:22.340 It's not the same

00:11:22.880 People are going to hate me for this

00:11:23.740 It's not the same

00:11:24.200 If I'm

00:11:25.200 Not in front of the Sharia by the way

00:11:26.440 Sorry no disclaimer

00:11:27.100 In front of the Sharia

00:11:28.240 The capital punishment is the same

00:11:29.500 And that's why I made the

00:11:30.520 Yes

00:11:30.980 Let's just

00:11:31.580 Just a disclaimer

00:11:32.820 So before people

00:11:33.320 I know people are getting on a mad one

00:11:34.180 In the Sharia

00:11:35.240 If a woman or a man

00:11:37.200 Commit zina

00:11:37.660 You get

00:11:38.260 If you're not married

00:11:39.100 You get

00:11:39.840 Floaked a hundred times

00:11:41.700 If you are married

00:11:43.220 You get

00:11:43.640 You know the capital punishment

00:11:44.720 Don't need to go to the details

00:11:45.440 In the hereafter

00:11:46.680 The punishment is the same

00:11:47.500 In the sight of Allah

00:11:48.400 It's zina

00:11:49.020 It's zina

00:11:49.420 However

00:11:50.420 Please listen to me carefully

00:11:51.640 Statistics

00:11:52.520 Statistics shows

00:11:54.020 By the way

00:11:54.560 That when a woman

00:11:55.980 Has more than one sexual partner

00:11:58.180 Her successful marriage

00:11:59.300 Grows from 80 to 20%

00:12:00.660 Number one

00:12:01.180 It doesn't affect a man

00:12:02.740 More than it does a woman

00:12:03.640 By the way

00:12:04.160 The statistics show

00:12:05.020 And it's very interesting

00:12:05.840 It goes with the Sharia

00:12:06.540 If a man has been intimate

00:12:08.480 With four partners

00:12:09.460 And by the way

00:12:10.060 We're not encouraging anyone

00:12:11.620 If a brother's like

00:12:12.140 Yeah I can go

00:12:12.760 Please shut up

00:12:13.840 Yeah

00:12:14.200 Please shut your mouth

00:12:14.800 Nobody's telling you

00:12:15.440 Yeah I can go

00:12:16.080 Commit zina

00:12:16.400 No no no

00:12:16.740 What we're saying is

00:12:17.400 The psychological consequences

00:12:19.180 Are not the same

00:12:20.200 That's what we're saying

00:12:20.760 Just to be clear

00:12:22.080 Does that make sense?

00:12:23.480 I repeat again

00:12:24.080 The Sharia

00:12:24.440 Both of them

00:12:25.160 Capital punishment

00:12:26.140 But

00:12:26.860 The impact that it has on a woman

00:12:28.820 Is not the same impact

00:12:29.740 It has on a man

00:12:30.220 Can I reply to this?

00:12:31.500 So there's a couple

00:12:32.840 Like words

00:12:34.160 That we've thrown around

00:12:35.120 Which I

00:12:35.720 We obviously don't have time

00:12:37.240 But we have more episodes

00:12:38.260 To discuss this

00:12:38.900 100%

00:12:39.300 I want to understand Fitra

00:12:40.600 And I want to understand

00:12:41.380 The book of Fitra

00:12:42.300 And all the stuff

00:12:43.260 That is within the Fitra

00:12:44.920 And classified as the Fitra

00:12:46.580 Because

00:12:47.040 I don't know where

00:12:48.300 That book exists

00:12:49.380 You know

00:12:49.760 That book that says

00:12:50.760 Oh that's the Fitra of the man

00:12:52.060 And that's the Fitra of the woman

00:12:53.140 I do understand

00:12:54.780 There are certain things

00:12:55.640 That we can say

00:12:56.400 That man

00:12:57.080 Are known for

00:12:58.540 Throughout history

00:12:59.620 I know a book like that by the way

00:13:01.000 Certain things that man do

00:13:02.580 And there's also certain things

00:13:05.740 What the Quran talks about

00:13:07.080 Certain things that women do

00:13:08.520 And how women feel

00:13:09.620 And then sociologically

00:13:11.560 How females are regarded

00:13:13.800 Or seen

00:13:14.720 For example

00:13:16.500 The story of Aisha Radwan

00:13:18.000 Anha

00:13:18.820 Where she was accused

00:13:20.200 To have done

00:13:21.380 A certain thing

00:13:22.680 And then the ayat

00:13:23.780 Of like

00:13:24.320 The flogging of the man

00:13:26.040 Or the person who

00:13:27.260 Accuses a

00:13:28.320 Chased woman

00:13:29.660 So like

00:13:30.600 I understand

00:13:31.020 There are these certain things

00:13:32.140 But like

00:13:32.700 I feel like

00:13:34.760 The Quran

00:13:35.320 What the Quran

00:13:35.940 We talk to a lot

00:13:37.260 And the majority of times

00:13:39.220 It encourages people

00:13:40.160 To do

00:13:40.500 It's like

00:13:41.020 The innate

00:13:43.300 Person

00:13:44.140 Themself

00:13:44.800 You know

00:13:45.080 Like

00:13:45.420 I don't think that

00:13:47.160 The idea of like

00:13:50.040 Dividing

00:13:51.020 Man and female

00:13:51.900 For example

00:13:52.320 This idea that

00:13:53.160 A man who is promiscuous

00:13:55.860 Is less tainted

00:13:57.980 Than a woman

00:13:58.960 Is promiscuous

00:14:00.020 I mean

00:14:00.740 You talk about

00:14:01.740 Fitrah

00:14:02.120 And you talk about

00:14:02.740 Sharia

00:14:03.040 But what about

00:14:03.580 Like spiritually

00:14:04.360 A man who slept

00:14:05.980 A lot around

00:14:07.120 Spiritually

00:14:08.040 I don't think

00:14:09.120 He's going to be

00:14:09.640 Any healthier

00:14:10.260 Than a woman

00:14:10.840 Has slept around

00:14:11.960 That's not true

00:14:12.780 On a spiritual level

00:14:14.960 No that's not true

00:14:15.780 No no I'm saying

00:14:16.320 On a spiritual level

00:14:17.420 Of course

00:14:17.920 That's not true

00:14:18.380 If you're saying

00:14:20.020 If you're saying

00:14:20.520 That

00:14:20.680 Sorry I'm just being real here

00:14:21.820 Yeah fair enough

00:14:22.440 But if you're saying

00:14:23.080 The Sharia

00:14:23.540 If you're saying

00:14:24.720 The Sharia punishes

00:14:25.700 The sin

00:14:26.080 The same thing

00:14:26.780 Same

00:14:26.800 Then spiritually

00:14:28.320 It's the same thing

00:14:29.160 As well

00:14:29.440 No no no

00:14:29.620 Sorry Bob

00:14:30.060 No no no

00:14:31.560 Of course

00:14:32.000 Listen guys

00:14:32.600 According to you

00:14:33.660 According to him

00:14:34.460 No no no

00:14:34.920 According to him

00:14:35.420 We're talking about

00:14:35.960 According to cultures

00:14:36.760 According to times

00:14:37.400 We're talking about

00:14:38.220 Very simple

00:14:39.220 We're talking about

00:14:39.720 Fitrah

00:14:40.000 And what as nature has

00:14:40.360 Judges on the same scale

00:14:41.920 Meaning that

00:14:42.720 Sister no

00:14:43.260 There's consequences

00:14:44.220 Sister the consequences

00:14:45.220 Are different

00:14:45.660 Thank you

00:14:46.780 It's not only on sisters

00:14:49.580 It's on men as well

00:14:50.740 No no

00:14:51.040 Sister

00:14:51.280 I repeat again

00:14:52.100 Allah has created us

00:14:53.220 Yes

00:14:53.400 Are men polygamous

00:14:54.820 By nature

00:14:55.240 Okay

00:14:55.580 You agree

00:14:56.420 But disagree

00:14:56.980 Yeah but a man

00:14:57.880 That slept with 20 women

00:14:59.060 Is not the same

00:14:59.720 That a man

00:15:00.300 That was married twice

00:15:01.300 For example

00:15:01.960 I'm talking in terms

00:15:02.660 Of consequences

00:15:03.400 And the same applies

00:15:04.640 For sisters

00:15:05.280 Okay

00:15:05.700 Can I

00:15:06.240 Can I

00:15:07.240 Can I answer the question

00:15:08.180 He said the punishment

00:15:08.780 For both of them

00:15:09.340 Is the same

00:15:09.740 I said that

00:15:11.220 I said that

00:15:12.020 Very clearly

00:15:12.620 I said that

00:15:13.300 The woman is not like that

00:15:14.260 Well they said that

00:15:14.840 Yeah I agree

00:15:16.240 Yes

00:15:16.880 In everything

00:15:17.540 From their

00:15:18.080 Psychology

00:15:19.120 It might not be the same

00:15:21.880 In a psychological sense

00:15:23.580 Or a physical sense

00:15:24.800 However

00:15:25.280 On a spiritual sense

00:15:27.560 It is the same

00:15:28.440 Because the punishment

00:15:29.500 Would bear the same consequence

00:15:31.440 The spiritual sense

00:15:32.320 Cannot be quanticized

00:15:33.620 Okay

00:15:33.960 When you're talking about spiritual

00:15:34.840 What do you mean by that

00:15:35.860 You're talking about

00:15:36.800 In a lawful way

00:15:38.220 I can explain to you

00:15:39.980 If you're asking me

00:15:40.580 There are certain

00:15:41.640 A disease way

00:15:42.060 So in the west

00:15:43.240 We are living in a

00:15:44.820 In a sense where

00:15:46.060 You know

00:15:47.060 We are hyper-sexualized

00:15:48.820 So in a

00:15:49.800 In a spiritual way

00:15:51.440 We are all

00:15:52.380 Battling that same

00:15:54.360 Shaitan

00:15:56.060 Or that same sin

00:15:57.400 And shahwa

00:15:58.160 That realistically

00:15:59.900 Is really putting us

00:16:01.340 Down into that place

00:16:02.760 And it actually

00:16:04.180 Is very sad

00:16:05.360 Because a lot of girls

00:16:06.900 Who do

00:16:07.820 Grow up in the west

00:16:09.220 And it's taboo

00:16:10.920 To talk about sex

00:16:12.400 Or it's taboo

00:16:13.240 To discuss

00:16:14.300 Or you know

00:16:15.400 A lot of the girls

00:16:16.480 Are not getting the guidance

00:16:17.620 That they're supposed to get

00:16:18.820 And they fall in this thing

00:16:20.580 That oftentimes

00:16:22.460 They are regretful for it

00:16:24.220 And then when they do

00:16:25.380 End up growing up

00:16:26.680 It's like

00:16:27.460 You learn your spiritual

00:16:29.220 Awakening

00:16:31.400 You have a spiritual awakening

00:16:32.620 You learn certain things

00:16:33.840 From the deen

00:16:34.560 And you start to have

00:16:35.780 That journey yourself

00:16:36.760 And then after that

00:16:38.460 You're then vilified

00:16:40.060 By the men

00:16:40.840 That are supposed

00:16:41.580 To protect you

00:16:42.540 And in Islam

00:16:44.240 We are supposed

00:16:45.460 To be protected

00:16:46.160 There's two things

00:16:46.720 I want to say

00:16:47.440 Because he asked

00:16:47.940 Gabriel asked me

00:16:48.740 Okay so

00:16:49.640 This is finished

00:16:50.520 Sorry

00:16:51.240 No finished

00:16:52.560 No finished

00:16:52.960 No because he asked

00:16:55.320 The question spiritually

00:16:56.040 What does that even mean

00:16:56.900 I will tell you exactly

00:16:57.800 What that means

00:16:58.440 The Prophet Muhammad

00:16:59.700 Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:16:59.920 Said that

00:17:00.560 The person who sins

00:17:02.320 And continues to sin

00:17:03.920 What happens to his soul

00:17:04.840 A dot appears

00:17:06.300 Now you are saying

00:17:07.560 That the man who sins

00:17:08.740 And does the sin

00:17:09.460 There's less dots

00:17:10.460 Appearing on the sin

00:17:11.140 No no no

00:17:11.600 You're misconstruing

00:17:12.160 I'm so sorry

00:17:12.660 No no I'm asking you

00:17:13.580 You're using

00:17:14.380 You're using

00:17:15.040 You're using two separate things

00:17:16.520 Hold on

00:17:16.800 I'm asking you

00:17:17.580 I'm asking you

00:17:19.340 There's another hadith

00:17:20.360 Where the Prophet Muhammad

00:17:21.000 Says that

00:17:21.560 He says not the woman

00:17:22.960 He says the believer

00:17:24.200 The believer who commits zina

00:17:26.200 What happens is that

00:17:27.800 His iman

00:17:28.480 Is lifted from him

00:17:29.400 Is lifted from him

00:17:30.220 Yes

00:17:30.560 Are you saying that

00:17:31.320 The iman

00:17:32.000 If the woman is lifted

00:17:32.980 Differently from the iman

00:17:34.060 No that's what I'm trying to say

00:17:36.040 No no but can I

00:17:36.640 No that's the point

00:17:37.200 That's the point

00:17:37.800 I know I know

00:17:38.520 I know but the thing is

00:17:39.760 Guys guys one second

00:17:40.720 Can we just

00:17:41.080 Let's go back to basics

00:17:41.580 Let's go back to basics

00:17:43.180 Okay let's go back to basics

00:17:43.880 Let's rewind one second

00:17:45.260 Thank you

00:17:45.900 Rewind

00:17:47.700 Okay let me make something clear

00:17:49.100 I'm not here to say

00:17:50.480 I'm not here to say

00:17:50.500 That any man should go

00:17:51.500 And shun a woman

00:17:52.640 And make her feel

00:17:53.280 Rubbish before her past

00:17:54.440 I'm not saying that

00:17:55.280 We're trying to make this

00:17:56.320 A productive show

00:17:56.920 I'm not trying to be like

00:17:57.620 Yeah you go

00:17:58.280 No I'm not saying that

00:17:59.160 I'm just saying

00:17:59.920 Can our sisters

00:18:00.820 Who are watching here

00:18:01.560 And that's all

00:18:02.540 Understand us men

00:18:04.260 Where we're coming from

00:18:05.240 That's what we're saying

00:18:05.700 Please understand

00:18:06.540 I didn't wake up today

00:18:07.780 And say you know what

00:18:08.560 I feel like this

00:18:09.460 But women

00:18:09.920 If I can just clarify

00:18:10.880 Women feels as well

00:18:12.160 If I can

00:18:12.660 The same feeling that you got

00:18:14.160 Me personally

00:18:15.000 Coming from

00:18:15.660 Sorry

00:18:16.200 From a certain education

00:18:17.760 From a certain background

00:18:18.780 You fight all your life

00:18:20.240 To preserve yourself

00:18:21.220 You don't want to have

00:18:22.000 To marry someone

00:18:23.120 That went and slept

00:18:24.220 All around

00:18:24.760 We look at that as well

00:18:26.260 Of course

00:18:26.760 And I have to agree

00:18:27.860 With what the brother said

00:18:28.780 With the black

00:18:29.240 You know you were talking about

00:18:30.420 Psychological consequences

00:18:32.020 You were talking about that as well

00:18:33.560 Yes

00:18:33.840 The black dots

00:18:34.760 Are all the effect

00:18:36.120 Of the sins

00:18:36.760 On our human being

00:18:38.060 We're missing the point here

00:18:39.320 Look look look

00:18:39.920 You're right

00:18:40.460 And brother Dawood

00:18:41.120 Had a very good point

00:18:42.140 I need to summarize

00:18:43.620 Your point in the sentence

00:18:44.880 If I can just summarize

00:18:46.020 Because I'm being

00:18:46.880 Cut

00:18:47.340 Let me just make this point

00:18:48.700 I repeat again

00:18:49.620 In the Sharia

00:18:50.120 The Zina

00:18:51.080 The two people

00:18:51.800 Who come to Zina

00:18:52.160 Is the same

00:18:52.780 The capital punishment

00:18:53.500 Is the same

00:18:54.060 In the hereafter

00:18:54.780 It's the same

00:18:55.300 When a person commits a sin

00:18:56.640 There's a black dot

00:18:57.240 It's the same

00:18:57.800 Please understand

00:18:59.500 And hear me clearly

00:19:00.560 In the heart

00:19:01.520 It's the same

00:19:02.580 But that's not meant

00:19:03.760 Spirituality

00:19:04.140 No

00:19:04.480 Please

00:19:04.960 Guys

00:19:05.860 I haven't

00:19:06.660 I haven't finished

00:19:07.520 I haven't finished

00:19:08.160 Thank you

00:19:08.800 So what I'm saying is this

00:19:10.100 What I'm saying is this

00:19:11.060 The consequences

00:19:12.620 Are not the same

00:19:14.980 We're not talking about

00:19:16.140 The hereafter

00:19:16.700 Thank you

00:19:18.320 Thank you sister

00:19:18.960 May Allah bless you

00:19:19.780 Now

00:19:20.060 For a man

00:19:21.300 Like we talked

00:19:21.980 The fact that

00:19:22.720 Where he was coming from

00:19:23.420 I resonate with that

00:19:24.280 Another man

00:19:25.280 Dawood resonates with that

00:19:26.000 Gabriel resonates

00:19:26.660 We don't go and go

00:19:27.580 Hey that's weird man

00:19:28.360 Why do you think like that

00:19:29.180 Every man that's watching this

00:19:31.160 When you went to Birmingham

00:19:31.920 And did that

00:19:32.720 And you asked a woman

00:19:33.340 I did a social experiment

00:19:34.560 In Shepherd's Bush

00:19:35.400 I said to them

00:19:36.420 Two options

00:19:37.600 A woman

00:19:38.180 Who's had 20

00:19:39.000 Intimate partners

00:19:39.840 And is a multi-millionaire

00:19:41.360 And the other woman

00:19:42.280 Who is a virgin

00:19:43.520 I agree with that

00:19:44.780 One second

00:19:45.040 Is a virgin

00:19:45.800 But is broke

00:19:46.520 90% of them said

00:19:48.300 Broke, broke, broke, broke, broke

00:19:49.460 Now the point I'm trying to say

00:19:50.780 Is the following

00:19:51.140 I'm just going to finish

00:19:51.700 So we can understand yeah

00:19:52.420 The consequences are not the same

00:19:54.760 Meaning

00:19:55.140 It's not because it's a fact

00:19:56.000 It's right

00:19:56.580 It's not because it's a fact

00:19:58.140 I don't trust what he's saying

00:19:59.480 Can I finish

00:20:01.320 Oh Allah

00:20:01.680 I'm so sorry

00:20:02.140 I know I talk a lot

00:20:03.060 But if I make this point

00:20:04.080 Then I'm going to take a step back

00:20:04.800 Just so I'm not misconstrued

00:20:06.420 I do

00:20:07.040 I do

00:20:07.580 My wife says that as well

00:20:09.820 Yeah

00:20:10.240 So the thing is this yeah

00:20:11.260 Now what I'm saying is this

00:20:12.820 Because men are created polygamous

00:20:14.820 Allah had to put in our fitrah

00:20:16.980 That being with four wives

00:20:19.380 That will not have a psychological impact on us

00:20:22.180 Because otherwise

00:20:23.120 Why would Allah tell us to be

00:20:24.500 Why would Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:20:25.580 Create us in a certain way

00:20:27.060 Which that if we indulge in that thing

00:20:28.880 It's going to have a psychological impact on us

00:20:30.480 Now number one

00:20:31.580 Halal

00:20:32.160 Even if it's done a haram way

00:20:34.260 There's consequences of course

00:20:35.260 But still it's wrong

00:20:36.100 But for a woman

00:20:37.680 Because you're monogamous by your nature

00:20:39.840 That Allah has created you like

00:20:41.680 And has given you

00:20:42.340 The Prophet peace be upon him said

00:20:43.500 A woman's intimate desires

00:20:45.240 Are 99 times greater

00:20:47.400 But it's her haya that keeps it in check

00:20:49.320 Therefore

00:20:50.240 I'm summarizing

00:20:51.720 I'm finished

00:20:52.100 Therefore

00:20:52.900 When a woman

00:20:54.240 Has intimate partners

00:20:55.400 It has a greater psychological impact on her

00:20:58.860 Than it does to a man

00:21:00.420 Please bring your evidence

00:21:01.960 If you disagree

00:21:02.700 But you did

00:21:03.160 I have to

00:21:03.880 Can I say anything anymore

00:21:04.820 Can I just

00:21:05.260 I'm done

00:21:05.600 That's right

00:21:06.320 You listed a lot of things

00:21:08.020 And then he's working

00:21:08.740 This way back

00:21:09.360 I just

00:21:10.180 I just wanted you to define

00:21:11.600 You said consequences

00:21:12.420 But you never defined

00:21:13.360 Okay so consequences

00:21:14.540 Is for example

00:21:15.380 I think outcomes

00:21:16.080 Use the word outcomes

00:21:16.860 Okay okay

00:21:17.660 Sorry sorry sorry

00:21:18.240 Sorry sorry okay okay

00:21:19.260 Outcomes

00:21:19.920 No but it is outcomes

00:21:21.240 Consequence

00:21:21.680 In the same way

00:21:22.980 When it comes to pair bonding

00:21:23.900 The studies show that if a woman has more than one

00:21:25.980 Intimate sexual partner

00:21:27.080 Her marriage

00:21:27.940 Her success marriage

00:21:29.300 Marriage to be successful

00:21:30.240 Drops from 80 to 20 percent

00:21:32.240 Is that due to the lady

00:21:33.540 Or is that due to the man being insecure about her

00:21:35.260 No no no

00:21:36.260 It's just basically her past

00:21:37.480 Her having more than one intimate partner

00:21:39.140 She is less likely to be pair bonding

00:21:41.340 Her pair bonding abilities are

00:21:43.140 These are studies online

00:21:44.280 Studies online

00:21:44.980 Now when it comes to a man

00:21:46.520 They realize

00:21:47.260 Which was very interesting

00:21:48.200 At the fourth mark

00:21:49.860 Yeah

00:21:50.500 Then it's

00:21:51.260 There's a kind of a decline

00:21:52.260 But it's not as worse as a woman

00:21:53.740 That's what I'm saying

00:21:54.980 Okay

00:21:55.320 Well the outcomes are different

00:21:56.960 What I would like to say

00:21:58.140 There's

00:21:58.500 We got to make the distinction

00:22:00.280 Between how things should be

00:22:02.160 Meaning how we should behave as Muslims

00:22:04.180 Yeah

00:22:04.440 Dawud made a very very good point

00:22:06.720 About the

00:22:07.320 Anuqtasawda

00:22:08.060 The black dot

00:22:08.900 You know what I mean

00:22:09.500 The outcomes

00:22:11.000 Or the consequences

00:22:12.480 Of the sin

00:22:13.280 Let's use that word

00:22:14.040 Are the same

00:22:15.060 Yeah that's all I was saying

00:22:16.620 The heart will be

00:22:17.600 Stained by the black dot

00:22:19.040 To the point

00:22:19.700 It becomes rana

00:22:20.460 Kalla bel rana

00:22:22.020 Alakulubihim

00:22:22.900 Akamayak

00:22:23.380 Sibon

00:22:23.700 The Allah says

00:22:24.580 It becomes like

00:22:25.640 This heart

00:22:26.500 That's

00:22:27.080 Discovered

00:22:29.320 But

00:22:30.360 The way a man reacts

00:22:33.520 So let's go back

00:22:34.220 To Halal Ram

00:22:34.900 If he is polygynous

00:22:36.260 For example

00:22:36.840 He's gonna

00:22:38.680 The outcomes of that

00:22:40.020 Polygynous

00:22:40.500 Is gonna be different

00:22:41.320 Than if a woman

00:22:42.940 Has had multiple

00:22:45.040 Halal partners

00:22:46.440 In marriage

00:22:46.840 Thank you

00:22:47.000 That's what I wanted to fix

00:22:48.140 There's a bit of a difference

00:22:49.880 I know we're talking

00:22:50.880 I'm sorry

00:22:51.620 I missed that

00:22:52.340 I know we're talking

00:22:53.500 About sins

00:22:54.080 And I'm gonna

00:22:55.300 Just add to that

00:22:56.820 But what I was saying

00:22:57.520 Is within the Halal

00:22:58.480 If a man is

00:22:59.220 In polygyny

00:22:59.920 For example

00:23:00.400 Has had multiple

00:23:01.740 Partners

00:23:02.240 Wives

00:23:02.800 Halal

00:23:03.200 The outcomes

00:23:05.000 Of that interaction

00:23:06.100 Are not detrimental

00:23:07.380 Actually it helps a man

00:23:08.600 Even sexually

00:23:09.300 Even in his relationship

00:23:10.700 There's a spike

00:23:11.380 In the

00:23:11.680 Okay

00:23:11.920 For the woman

00:23:13.560 If she's been married

00:23:14.640 Again Halal

00:23:15.420 Yeah

00:23:16.040 The pair bonding issues

00:23:17.060 Are going to be there

00:23:18.000 Yeah

00:23:18.740 The studies are clear

00:23:19.780 Putting that aside

00:23:21.320 When it comes to the sins

00:23:22.860 When it comes to the sins

00:23:24.680 So the ulama have said

00:23:25.660 Very clearly

00:23:26.220 Very clearly

00:23:27.600 Because again

00:23:28.500 There is what we should be like

00:23:30.300 As Muslims

00:23:30.920 How many people are

00:23:32.420 In the should department

00:23:34.060 That's right

00:23:34.800 That's right

00:23:35.220 Not many

00:23:35.640 And how

00:23:36.560 It's like

00:23:37.720 Al-Waqiyah

00:23:38.460 Which is the reality

00:23:39.560 And how it should be

00:23:41.960 The Sharia

00:23:42.300 So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:23:43.080 You'll find

00:23:43.960 Two things within the Quran

00:23:45.520 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:23:47.020 Tells us

00:23:47.660 Pray

00:23:48.340 Do this

00:23:49.280 Do that

00:23:49.760 But the reality is

00:23:50.820 Most people are not going to do it

00:23:51.820 How do you deal with that

00:23:53.880 Right

00:23:54.080 So

00:23:55.080 The ulama have said

00:23:56.920 Clearly

00:23:57.300 Sister asks

00:23:58.800 Should I tell my husband

00:24:00.320 Should I disclose this

00:24:01.500 I say

00:24:02.300 No you should not disclose your sins

00:24:03.620 Right

00:24:04.580 Did I lie

00:24:05.600 What kind

00:24:07.440 So

00:24:07.720 The sister is like

00:24:08.860 What if he finds out

00:24:09.680 What if he finds out

00:24:11.280 That's an interesting topic

00:24:12.200 So what do sisters do

00:24:13.620 Because I'll be honest with you

00:24:14.560 I would personally say

00:24:15.460 No I would personally say

00:24:16.620 To any sister

00:24:17.200 Yeah

00:24:17.420 It's like

00:24:18.080 I think there's a story

00:24:18.600 About Omar bin Qatab

00:24:19.240 Yeah

00:24:19.480 But I don't know how authentic it is

00:24:20.340 Yeah

00:24:20.480 That a man came and said

00:24:21.440 Should I disclose it

00:24:22.360 And he said

00:24:22.640 Are you mad

00:24:23.780 Don't ever disclose it

00:24:25.280 Yeah

00:24:25.460 But it's different for a woman

00:24:26.540 Isn't it

00:24:27.240 It is

00:24:27.640 But the thing is

00:24:28.380 You shouldn't

00:24:28.760 No for a woman

00:24:29.320 He was talking about his du'ta

00:24:30.420 That's why her value

00:24:31.080 Is so much more

00:24:31.940 Exactly

00:24:32.220 So I would personally say

00:24:33.360 It messes up

00:24:34.740 There's so many more consequences

00:24:36.500 Yes

00:24:36.920 So I would personally say

00:24:38.380 Like the scholar said

00:24:39.260 It says as well

00:24:39.600 That it should be hidden

00:24:41.040 To a point

00:24:41.860 Because at the end of the day

00:24:42.880 This is how we are created

00:24:45.040 Look

00:24:45.420 Wallahi

00:24:45.720 We didn't wake up and say

00:24:46.480 You know what

00:24:46.800 Let me be like this

00:24:47.540 This is how we are

00:24:48.680 So the thing is

00:24:49.920 How we should be dealt with

00:24:51.300 I think

00:24:51.740 The difference between men and women

00:24:53.800 In a sense is

00:24:54.940 Men will operate

00:24:56.960 From a place of ego

00:24:58.400 When it comes to that information

00:25:00.560 Particularly of a woman's past

00:25:03.100 It's because

00:25:03.640 Oh

00:25:03.900 My ego can't accept it

00:25:06.560 You know

00:25:07.260 I can't allow

00:25:08.140 Yeah

00:25:09.140 Insecurity

00:25:10.040 Pride

00:25:11.040 Because again

00:25:12.580 A woman is a sense

00:25:13.760 A woman is a man's sense of pride

00:25:16.260 Right

00:25:16.600 In a way

00:25:17.200 Whether you like to accept it or not

00:25:19.260 Aside from Islam

00:25:21.000 But as well

00:25:22.940 Like growing up in the UK

00:25:24.340 Like body count

00:25:26.280 Was a huge thing

00:25:27.420 Like

00:25:28.020 So boys have that mentality

00:25:29.720 Oh yeah

00:25:30.440 So why don't we

00:25:31.420 I have it as well

00:25:32.680 Yeah of course

00:25:33.340 Women have it as well

00:25:34.500 Women do have it

00:25:35.520 But it's not as much

00:25:36.400 As a man has it

00:25:37.600 Body count in a haram situation

00:25:39.240 For me is very important

00:25:40.480 It's something

00:25:40.840 What we're talking about

00:25:41.660 Sorry

00:25:41.820 What did you say

00:25:42.180 What's important

00:25:42.600 Because she was saying

00:25:43.380 Like body count

00:25:44.180 But let's say

00:25:45.320 The guy is extremely practicing now

00:25:47.420 He's super practicing

00:25:49.000 No you wouldn't care

00:25:49.560 He's known in the community

00:25:50.420 Since how long

00:25:51.220 Five years

00:25:52.340 Five years

00:25:53.100 Would you accept the brother

00:25:54.380 Brother Gabriel

00:25:54.920 Okay guys will not accept the brother

00:25:56.060 Brother Gabriel

00:25:56.660 Let's do it

00:25:57.460 Even if it's five years for her

00:25:58.980 Okay

00:25:59.420 Are we talking about Helen

00:26:01.140 Okay let me ask you guys a question

00:26:02.660 Let me ask a question

00:26:04.280 Let me ask a question

00:26:04.820 Okay so this will go to

00:26:05.900 Our second kind of segment

00:26:06.740 Is do you care about

00:26:08.680 A man's past

00:26:09.660 Or his future

00:26:10.480 So for example

00:26:11.440 If a man comes and he says

00:26:12.580 I used to live a party life

00:26:14.540 Etc

00:26:14.820 Whatever it may be

00:26:15.560 Had some girlfriends

00:26:16.680 But I've repented

00:26:18.160 I've totally repented

00:26:19.580 I'm a new person

00:26:20.620 And he's successful

00:26:21.680 He's got fearing

00:26:22.760 He has taqwa

00:26:23.600 He's got akhlaq

00:26:25.220 He's got adab

00:26:25.680 Whatever it may be

00:26:26.280 Would you say no to him

00:26:28.120 Or would you say yes to him

00:26:28.840 Let's start from here

00:26:29.980 Okay

00:26:30.240 So he's changed

00:26:32.280 He's saying you know what

00:26:32.860 Look I've repented

00:26:33.580 I've changed my ways

00:26:34.620 Before clubbing

00:26:35.820 Partying

00:26:36.240 Whatever it may be

00:26:36.860 But now

00:26:37.600 I just want to focus on my future

00:26:39.880 For me I don't just look at

00:26:41.800 The sexual aspects of things

00:26:44.000 I think

00:26:44.580 If a man

00:26:45.640 But can you answer the question

00:26:46.820 Within that

00:26:47.420 Yeah yeah yeah

00:26:48.320 Because that's what's important

00:26:49.060 For me yeah

00:26:49.540 It wouldn't be a problem

00:26:50.620 It wouldn't be a problem

00:26:50.820 Exactly

00:26:51.140 See for us it would be a problem

00:26:52.360 For men it would be a problem

00:26:54.420 But

00:26:54.820 There are other aspects

00:26:56.620 Of sin

00:26:57.260 Sexual is not the only sin

00:26:59.220 That exists

00:26:59.740 No no for you

00:27:00.920 Yes for us

00:27:02.280 For us

00:27:02.300 Yeah but for a woman

00:27:04.140 If a man was committing shirk

00:27:05.760 No no no for a woman

00:27:06.680 If a man was being shirk

00:27:07.960 Doing shirk

00:27:08.800 And committing lots of things like that

00:27:10.520 Of course it's not

00:27:10.680 100%

00:27:11.000 I'm not forgiving that

00:27:11.940 Okay sister soul

00:27:12.760 Sister soul

00:27:13.480 A brother comes

00:27:14.320 I will follow the same steps

00:27:16.340 I will follow the same steps

00:27:16.360 That the

00:27:16.940 Tawbah journey

00:27:17.900 Okay

00:27:18.360 Meaning like

00:27:19.180 What did you do

00:27:19.960 To stop from your past

00:27:21.240 Did you cut

00:27:22.180 Did you keep any

00:27:23.060 Full cut

00:27:23.800 He's a new guy

00:27:24.780 Full re

00:27:25.960 Like he's a new brand new guy

00:27:27.100 Allah is al-ghafoor

00:27:28.380 And I want to say that

00:27:29.960 To the beautiful sisters

00:27:30.920 And our brothers

00:27:32.200 That may have had

00:27:33.260 Some sinful journey

00:27:35.420 In the beginning

00:27:36.140 Subhanallah

00:27:36.700 That you remember

00:27:37.660 That Allah azawajal

00:27:38.360 Is not only

00:27:38.980 Ar-Rahman

00:27:39.900 Ar-Rahim

00:27:40.340 He's al-ghafoor

00:27:41.060 And ghafoor has a very specific meaning

00:27:43.060 That means not only

00:27:44.360 Allah azawajal

00:27:45.020 Gets rid of the sin

00:27:46.240 But he gets rid of the effect

00:27:48.420 Of the sin

00:27:49.460 Subhanallah

00:27:49.920 And that's a beautiful

00:27:50.840 That's why I always say

00:27:51.660 Goes back to the names

00:27:52.740 Of Allah azawajal

00:27:53.560 You will find

00:27:54.600 Subhanallah

00:27:55.160 Most of your answers

00:27:56.660 And the fact that

00:27:57.640 Allah azawajal

00:27:58.440 Is al-ghafoor

00:27:58.980 We are talking about

00:28:00.060 Consequences on

00:28:01.220 Pair bonding

00:28:01.720 Psychological

00:28:02.880 How we can mess up

00:28:04.080 With men

00:28:04.740 And women

00:28:05.560 Because you're

00:28:06.820 Only insisting on the

00:28:07.760 Women

00:28:08.260 But I think that

00:28:08.960 A man that had

00:28:09.680 A lot of haram relationship

00:28:11.340 Who said that

00:28:12.040 The consequence of the sin

00:28:13.100 Where did you find that

00:28:13.740 No you were saying

00:28:14.460 Like

00:28:14.820 He has the

00:28:16.220 Pair bonding

00:28:16.880 Is not an issue

00:28:17.720 Before we do that

00:28:18.180 Let's ask the question

00:28:18.840 Who said that

00:28:21.160 It actually removes

00:28:22.100 The consequence of the sin

00:28:23.340 No no

00:28:23.720 The effect of the sin

00:28:24.800 That's why I study

00:28:25.520 Allah regimes the sin

00:28:26.780 And he makes it like

00:28:27.440 It's never happened

00:28:28.060 No it's never happened

00:28:28.960 But even

00:28:30.020 The specificity

00:28:31.360 Because there is

00:28:31.860 Four or five names

00:28:33.280 Of Allah azawajal

00:28:33.920 To do with mercy

00:28:35.140 But al-ghafoor

00:28:36.420 The distinction

00:28:36.880 Because I was asking

00:28:37.740 The teacher

00:28:38.120 What's the difference

00:28:38.800 Between the other

00:28:39.580 And she said like

00:28:40.540 It's not only the sin

00:28:41.520 It's the possible

00:28:42.740 Effect

00:28:43.280 The addiction

00:28:43.960 No no no

00:28:45.980 But what we're saying

00:28:46.980 Is the sin

00:28:47.620 Of course

00:28:48.080 The sin is

00:28:49.420 It's the Sheikh

00:28:50.060 Al-Badar

00:28:51.060 Razak al-Badar

00:28:52.600 I think

00:28:52.900 Is the specialist

00:28:54.140 Allah

00:28:54.440 Of the names of Allah

00:28:56.060 Look look

00:28:56.300 We believe that the sins

00:28:57.200 Are turned into good deeds

00:28:58.080 We understand that

00:28:58.800 But if you're talking

00:28:59.320 From the aspect

00:28:59.920 Because

00:29:00.260 I'm talking about the mercy

00:29:01.720 It's important to remind

00:29:02.720 The sisters and the brothers

00:29:03.740 Consequences

00:29:04.760 Leave you

00:29:05.900 Because that's the

00:29:06.820 The whole

00:29:08.360 Beauty of

00:29:10.040 She needs a mic

00:29:11.780 Of repenting

00:29:12.780 Yeah guys please

00:29:13.400 Please make sure

00:29:13.840 She's got the mic

00:29:14.320 But just finish

00:29:15.240 Because we need to ask

00:29:15.840 The same question

00:29:16.280 Of repenting

00:29:17.680 The consequences

00:29:18.660 Remains with human beings

00:29:20.520 Right

00:29:20.820 So of course

00:29:22.320 The consequences

00:29:23.520 Will be lifted

00:29:25.400 If Allah wills

00:29:26.800 But of course

00:29:27.740 If

00:29:28.200 If a man

00:29:29.320 Who doesn't want to accept it

00:29:31.160 Then that's his business

00:29:32.080 I would just

00:29:32.580 Be advising women

00:29:33.960 Not to go with men

00:29:34.780 Who don't accept

00:29:35.600 The fact that

00:29:36.480 You are also a human being

00:29:38.060 It's not

00:29:39.560 That what they don't accept

00:29:40.900 Can I just get those two to answer

00:29:42.480 If you notice

00:29:43.160 I think all of you

00:29:43.860 Have said so far

00:29:44.700 That you will be okay

00:29:46.020 As long as he's made Tawbah

00:29:47.440 He's followed the Tawbah journey

00:29:48.900 Right

00:29:49.040 But why wouldn't you be okay

00:29:50.340 That's the problem

00:29:50.900 It's something that men

00:29:52.240 Guys guys

00:29:52.720 Just men

00:29:53.180 Men

00:29:53.460 So if our Prophet

00:29:55.460 Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:29:56.940 Was able

00:29:58.380 To accept it

00:29:59.820 This is my point

00:30:00.840 We can't compare men of today

00:30:02.360 To the messenger

00:30:03.520 Of course

00:30:03.600 But if we strive

00:30:05.080 To be like them

00:30:05.980 If our men

00:30:07.360 Are meant to be striving

00:30:09.260 To be like the

00:30:10.820 Sahaba

00:30:11.240 Why can you not

00:30:13.000 Then accept

00:30:14.060 Great question

00:30:14.800 Great question

00:30:15.320 And what we are like

00:30:16.140 Guys guys

00:30:17.160 Can I get the answer

00:30:17.820 From these two sisters

00:30:18.420 One second

00:30:19.580 One second please

00:30:20.260 Just answer the question

00:30:21.140 Please sister

00:30:21.460 I'm so sorry

00:30:21.840 Just the question that I asked

00:30:22.680 Sure

00:30:22.860 The answer to that would be

00:30:24.000 Yes I would accept her

00:30:25.060 And sister

00:30:25.580 I think

00:30:27.600 How would I get to that

00:30:28.720 Like point where I find out

00:30:30.300 All these things about him

00:30:31.080 No no no

00:30:31.560 He just come to you and said

00:30:32.260 You know what

00:30:32.520 I used to have this past etc

00:30:33.580 And I'm a changed person

00:30:34.500 He's someone that you get to know

00:30:35.680 For marriage

00:30:35.980 And then he says this

00:30:36.740 And would you accept

00:30:38.180 Or would you be like nah

00:30:38.820 Clubbing

00:30:40.700 No no he just said

00:30:41.420 I was clubbing

00:30:41.840 And I did the Jahi life

00:30:43.000 And I've repented now

00:30:43.940 And he's a successful guy

00:30:45.100 God fearing

00:30:45.780 Taqwa is a good person now

00:30:47.360 So would you judge him

00:30:48.840 By his past or his future

00:30:49.720 I wouldn't judge him

00:30:50.780 By his future

00:30:51.340 I'd just judge him

00:30:52.240 By the person he is right now

00:30:53.120 Okay so he's a god fearing guy

00:30:54.200 So yeah

00:30:54.660 Then yeah

00:30:55.020 Okay good

00:30:55.600 Can I just

00:30:55.880 Sorry I should really ask

00:30:56.860 Really quickly

00:30:57.500 Is that

00:30:58.520 I think in a way

00:31:01.540 For example

00:31:02.500 If you're going to be asking

00:31:03.480 Somebody questions right

00:31:04.740 Don't

00:31:06.140 Ask them a question

00:31:07.500 If the tables were reversed

00:31:08.940 You couldn't answer yourself

00:31:10.300 Or you'd feel ashamed

00:31:11.160 To answer

00:31:11.700 Because that's kind of

00:31:13.140 Being a little bit

00:31:13.740 Of a hypocrite

00:31:14.740 At the same time

00:31:15.880 I think it's kind of

00:31:17.400 Good

00:31:17.820 That men have that in them

00:31:19.600 Because it then teaches

00:31:20.920 Our sisters

00:31:21.620 To be careful about our steps

00:31:23.340 To not

00:31:24.000 Exactly

00:31:24.380 Sort of loosen ourself

00:31:25.560 And not forget who we are

00:31:26.820 Supposed to be

00:31:27.320 Because if we didn't have that

00:31:29.000 Nobody would know

00:31:30.200 Exactly

00:31:30.780 And that's the reason why

00:31:32.060 We covered this topic

00:31:33.260 Is so that

00:31:34.020 The reason we did this topic

00:31:35.180 Is so

00:31:36.140 Because

00:31:36.600 The western world

00:31:38.320 Is sending this

00:31:38.920 No you're like a man

00:31:40.340 Go out there

00:31:40.920 By the way

00:31:42.060 Even men watching this

00:31:43.640 Zinnah is zinnah

00:31:44.420 It's haram

00:31:44.940 It's a major sin

00:31:45.920 We're not saying for men

00:31:47.440 It's

00:31:48.000 Oh go have fun

00:31:48.800 My friend

00:31:49.600 No we're not saying that

00:31:50.480 We're just saying the consequences

00:31:52.020 Are so much greater

00:31:53.020 For a woman

00:31:54.020 So that's why we're saying that

00:31:55.520 Do not think

00:31:56.600 Because some sisters think

00:31:57.720 No and it is

00:31:58.680 Look let me be honest with you

00:31:59.280 This was something

00:31:59.720 I had a dilemma with

00:32:00.500 I was thinking

00:32:01.100 It's hypocrisy man

00:32:02.560 Well like as a man

00:32:03.300 I was thinking

00:32:03.660 It's hypocrisy

00:32:04.700 Deep inside I was like

00:32:05.540 I'm a man

00:32:06.480 And I'm like

00:32:06.980 That bothers me

00:32:07.820 But I was like

00:32:08.640 I come from a giant area

00:32:10.280 And I was like

00:32:10.660 Do you have the right to

00:32:11.880 And then I realised to myself

00:32:13.060 You know what

00:32:13.560 It sounds hypocritical

00:32:15.200 Can I cause havoc

00:32:15.760 But you can

00:32:16.720 We're looking for the havoc here

00:32:17.740 The point is though

00:32:18.640 I realised to myself

00:32:19.720 That

00:32:20.380 You know what

00:32:21.200 The dynamics are really different

00:32:23.000 Wallahi

00:32:23.700 It's not that we choose to

00:32:24.880 So therefore

00:32:25.780 Understand that

00:32:26.700 When it comes to

00:32:27.220 The dynamics may be different

00:32:28.560 But the diseases

00:32:29.500 Are sure not

00:32:30.380 It's the same

00:32:30.600 And that's the thing

00:32:32.080 That I wanted to say

00:32:32.780 But before we say that

00:32:33.820 Make sure you close

00:32:34.480 Let me turn this on our heads

00:32:36.060 Yeah

00:32:36.500 Because we keep forgetting

00:32:38.080 That marriage

00:32:38.780 And this is to do with

00:32:40.160 You know

00:32:40.500 Masha you're saying

00:32:41.500 About how we're influenced

00:32:43.220 By the environment

00:32:44.180 That we live in

00:32:45.000 Marriage is not

00:32:46.620 An individualistic act

00:32:48.200 That you do by yourself

00:32:49.220 Especially with your sisters

00:32:50.720 We ask sisters

00:32:51.520 Would you accept that

00:32:52.300 Yeah maybe they would

00:32:53.280 But I would the father

00:32:54.380 Because it's the father

00:32:55.860 Who marries off their daughters

00:32:56.860 If I had someone

00:32:58.540 I knew this guy

00:32:59.740 He's been around

00:33:00.460 The block

00:33:01.120 And my

00:33:02.180 I did all my due diligence

00:33:04.220 To keep my daughter

00:33:05.700 And herself

00:33:06.680 With her own

00:33:07.720 Emission

00:33:08.400 She tries to keep herself

00:33:09.500 Pure

00:33:10.120 I would reject the guy

00:33:11.880 I would say

00:33:12.080 You get lost

00:33:13.320 Thank you

00:33:13.880 You see

00:33:14.200 And the reason

00:33:15.060 What I'm saying

00:33:15.460 Is you know

00:33:16.080 Hassan Ibn Ali

00:33:17.620 The son of Hassan

00:33:18.780 He was like

00:33:19.600 Notorious

00:33:20.600 Known

00:33:21.180 To be

00:33:21.860 You know

00:33:23.080 Quite

00:33:23.920 Authentic

00:33:25.900 Who are you talking about

00:33:28.180 Like marriage wise

00:33:29.100 Yeah

00:33:29.720 Ali Radha was known

00:33:30.480 To have so many

00:33:31.000 Why

00:33:31.220 Like marriage divorce

00:33:31.960 No but

00:33:32.580 There's this one Hadith

00:33:33.900 Authenticity

00:33:34.620 Hassan Ibn Ali

00:33:35.740 They married like 90

00:33:36.660 Ali but Ali

00:33:37.340 No I'm not

00:33:38.600 I'm not saying

00:33:39.420 I'm not saying

00:33:39.860 I'm just saying

00:33:40.340 That there was

00:33:41.080 One sahaba

00:33:41.700 Hassan had approached

00:33:43.720 Him

00:33:44.320 And he had kind of

00:33:45.940 Refused because

00:33:46.720 He was worried

00:33:47.940 About his daughter

00:33:48.600 So this is a question

00:33:49.660 I'm asking

00:33:50.180 If you know

00:33:51.060 Yeah

00:33:51.300 If you ask

00:33:52.160 A question

00:33:53.180 Right

00:33:53.400 If

00:33:53.680 And I've seen

00:33:55.040 A lot of people

00:33:56.220 Asking this question

00:33:57.020 Online

00:33:57.440 Regarding

00:33:58.780 Andrew Tate

00:33:59.820 But if someone

00:34:00.580 Like him

00:34:01.240 Or someone who's

00:34:02.380 Been very promiscuous

00:34:03.340 Right

00:34:03.620 And you know

00:34:04.120 That this guy

00:34:04.600 Was a wild man

00:34:05.340 Yeah

00:34:05.540 Would you accept

00:34:06.940 Him for your

00:34:07.540 For your daughter

00:34:08.260 To be married

00:34:09.380 I say it straight

00:34:10.600 I wouldn't

00:34:11.460 I wouldn't

00:34:11.860 Accept someone like that

00:34:13.100 If I know that

00:34:14.660 My daughter

00:34:15.020 That's a good one

00:34:16.000 But then that's

00:34:16.500 Because you're a man

00:34:17.300 But you're coming

00:34:17.700 From an angle of a man

00:34:18.680 Yeah

00:34:19.060 Again you're going

00:34:19.720 And you're straight

00:34:20.700 From an angle of a man

00:34:21.520 Maybe the daughter

00:34:22.120 Would accept

00:34:22.640 And that's why

00:34:23.360 Or the mother

00:34:24.020 No no no no

00:34:25.420 That's his point

00:34:26.980 That's his point

00:34:27.420 So he's saying

00:34:27.800 Men are the protectors

00:34:28.600 Men

00:34:28.920 Men are like that

00:34:30.280 For the women

00:34:30.700 But also men

00:34:31.460 Are like that

00:34:32.020 To the man as well

00:34:33.340 100%

00:34:33.840 That's the point

00:34:34.680 So that's why

00:34:35.200 I was trying to say

00:34:35.760 The consequences

00:34:36.280 So his point

00:34:37.640 Is very very smart

00:34:38.420 Mashallah

00:34:38.740 Yeah so

00:34:40.000 His point is

00:34:41.100 Men are just like that

00:34:42.760 For women

00:34:43.060 Men are like that

00:34:43.680 For other men as well

00:34:44.580 So when it comes to females

00:34:45.480 It's funny how they're different

00:34:45.840 For the daughters

00:34:46.440 But for some

00:34:47.040 She's someone

00:34:47.960 You're wiping someone

00:34:48.840 As daughter

00:34:49.340 So the hypocrisy

00:34:51.400 But you see

00:34:52.640 There might be

00:34:53.580 That the father

00:34:54.220 The wali

00:34:54.720 Is going to reject it

00:34:55.560 Yeah

00:34:55.820 Yeah

00:34:56.060 Exactly

00:34:57.240 Yeah

00:34:57.800 That's true

00:34:58.560 That's true

00:34:58.980 And it's amazing

00:35:00.660 Because

00:35:01.300 It goes back again

00:35:03.340 To like

00:35:03.780 As the sister said

00:35:04.860 Right

00:35:05.100 Where we should be

00:35:06.960 And not

00:35:07.700 Most men

00:35:08.260 I was going to make

00:35:08.740 A point about that

00:35:09.540 And when we are

00:35:10.120 The reality is

00:35:10.860 That we're dealing

00:35:11.420 With these situations

00:35:12.400 Today

00:35:12.820 These problems

00:35:14.060 Are there today

00:35:15.160 Most men

00:35:16.280 Are not going to accept

00:35:17.660 How do you fix that

00:35:18.660 But brother Jibril

00:35:19.680 You asked the

00:35:21.200 Absolutely right question

00:35:22.260 And I was going to go back

00:35:23.160 To that point

00:35:23.700 You said like

00:35:24.220 This is the fact

00:35:25.140 This is what we should be

00:35:26.140 And this is the fact

00:35:27.380 But in every matter

00:35:29.720 In our life

00:35:30.400 We go back to what

00:35:31.300 To the sunnah

00:35:31.900 Yes

00:35:32.200 Like you mentioned

00:35:32.940 Allahumma barik

00:35:33.580 The most secure

00:35:35.360 And the most healthier

00:35:36.340 Example

00:35:36.840 Was the Prophet

00:35:37.600 Why no one talks

00:35:39.060 About that

00:35:39.540 Brother

00:35:39.980 The sunnah

00:35:40.640 Is this

00:35:41.400 Allah is the same account

00:35:42.940 But no

00:35:43.600 We want to bring out

00:35:44.420 The polygamy sunnah

00:35:45.540 But they're talking

00:35:46.320 About the polygamy sunnah

00:35:47.100 Won't they

00:35:47.460 Yeah exactly

00:35:48.040 Exactly

00:35:48.920 They're talking about

00:35:49.700 The polygamy sunnah

00:35:50.420 And it's funny

00:35:51.020 How they question

00:35:51.840 Is it sinful

00:35:52.180 If he goes for a virgin

00:35:53.360 No no

00:35:54.020 It's not sinful

00:35:54.640 It's not

00:35:54.980 No no

00:35:55.320 You can't say that

00:35:55.920 But I will encourage

00:35:58.040 But we should always

00:35:59.360 Go back to

00:36:00.020 Allah Azza wa Jal

00:36:01.000 One second

00:36:01.680 And it's funny

00:36:02.660 How many brothers

00:36:03.720 Will question the sister

00:36:05.260 And they are the biggest

00:36:07.080 Like

00:36:07.460 They have like

00:36:08.120 And I'm saying

00:36:08.900 Very close past

00:36:09.760 Like

00:36:09.920 They may be in some

00:36:11.580 Relationship still

00:36:12.580 Yes

00:36:12.920 It's a sexual double standard

00:36:14.200 But that's what I'm saying

00:36:14.960 Like Allah Azza wa Jal

00:36:15.840 Doesn't like hypocrisy

00:36:17.000 We have to be sincere

00:36:18.240 It's not hypocrisy

00:36:18.440 No no no

00:36:18.900 It's not hypocrisy

00:36:20.020 It's a form of hypocrisy

00:36:21.400 When in the eyes

00:36:22.700 Of Allah Azza wa Jal

00:36:23.360 It's the same thing

00:36:24.480 It's a contradiction

00:36:25.400 It's what's called

00:36:26.080 In Arabic

00:36:26.440 It cannot be

00:36:28.100 Because hypocrisy

00:36:29.100 Nifak

00:36:29.820 Is something totally

00:36:30.720 Totally different

00:36:31.360 And it's a sexual

00:36:32.420 Double standard

00:36:33.040 It's a double standard

00:36:33.880 A man will have

00:36:34.720 Double standard is the word

00:36:35.600 100%

00:36:36.280 I'll tell you one thing

00:36:37.180 It's 100%

00:36:38.200 And it's because

00:36:39.440 It's somehow

00:36:40.320 It's linked

00:36:41.280 To our biology

00:36:42.540 I don't think so

00:36:44.660 To ignorance as well

00:36:45.540 I genuinely

00:36:46.020 We are

00:36:46.480 We're created like that

00:36:47.100 One line we're created like that

00:36:47.580 I don't think so

00:36:48.340 I think

00:36:49.860 The problem is

00:36:50.300 Sorry

00:36:50.860 The problem is

00:36:51.520 Get them out

00:36:52.120 Get them out

00:36:52.400 In the white community

00:36:53.540 I'm sorry

00:36:54.160 In the white community

00:36:55.380 How is it more accepted

00:36:56.740 Have your time

00:36:57.320 It's cultural as well

00:36:58.720 Okay we need to

00:36:59.560 Please

00:36:59.860 You've got one and a half minutes

00:37:00.600 Just express yourself

00:37:01.320 I will say

00:37:01.920 I don't think it is

00:37:03.180 In your biology

00:37:05.720 I do think it's an ideology

00:37:07.980 That's been perpetuated

00:37:09.480 Within the male community

00:37:11.340 So

00:37:12.140 Oh you know

00:37:13.260 Women

00:37:13.880 If you've had a past

00:37:15.200 No no no

00:37:15.880 Because there are

00:37:17.120 There is history

00:37:18.080 Of

00:37:19.000 Pre-Islamic

00:37:20.500 And even

00:37:21.180 In Islamic history

00:37:23.220 Where women have

00:37:24.600 Been

00:37:25.180 Previously

00:37:25.920 With

00:37:26.200 With

00:37:26.820 With other men

00:37:27.860 And then they've now

00:37:28.840 Been able to marry

00:37:30.420 Successfully

00:37:31.220 And in fact

00:37:31.860 It even shows that

00:37:33.020 Women are

00:37:33.920 Very good wives

00:37:35.100 And they do

00:37:36.060 You know

00:37:37.300 Repent for whatever

00:37:38.500 They've done

00:37:38.980 And they've become

00:37:39.660 A very successful

00:37:40.880 Relationship

00:37:41.620 And even sometimes

00:37:42.580 Better

00:37:42.960 So I do think

00:37:44.160 The responsibility

00:37:44.880 Lays on men

00:37:46.800 To stop

00:37:48.200 Perpetuating

00:37:49.380 That a woman

00:37:50.460 Is stained

00:37:51.460 When she has

00:37:52.760 She's got

00:37:53.320 She's got 30 seconds

00:37:54.080 She's got 30 seconds

00:37:54.700 She's got 30 seconds

00:37:56.020 When you go to the

00:37:56.940 Sorry

00:37:57.240 She's got 30 seconds

00:37:58.000 I'm sorry

00:37:58.340 I have to stick by the rules

00:37:59.200 Okay

00:37:59.560 30 seconds

00:37:59.980 Yeah like

00:38:01.100 A woman is not

00:38:01.900 Stained by her past

00:38:03.140 She's not got this

00:38:03.940 Like big sign

00:38:05.080 Saying you know

00:38:05.740 I've done

00:38:06.380 Lots of madness

00:38:07.460 But again

00:38:08.660 And also

00:38:09.880 I do think

00:38:10.660 Our Muslim men

00:38:12.460 Are hypocrites

00:38:14.000 Hypocrites

00:38:14.700 Because

00:38:16.040 All of them

00:38:16.520 Not all of them

00:38:17.780 But some men

00:38:18.660 In our Muslim communities

00:38:19.880 Are hypocrites

00:38:21.260 Because they will go

00:38:22.280 For a reverted woman

00:38:23.780 10 seconds

00:38:24.300 Who is either

00:38:25.240 From the white background

00:38:26.360 Who's done

00:38:27.320 An absolute madness

00:38:28.480 And accept her

00:38:29.660 But when it is

00:38:30.540 A Muslim woman

00:38:31.280 Who is also

00:38:32.000 A human being

00:38:32.900 Who's done

00:38:33.780 Certain things

00:38:34.460 Because of the

00:38:35.320 Western society

00:38:36.320 And they will not

00:38:37.560 Accept her

00:38:38.080 Many of the

00:38:38.900 Convert sisters

00:38:39.500 Get divorced

00:38:40.160 Within the first

00:38:41.080 Five years

00:38:41.600 It's not true

00:38:42.440 They might

00:38:43.200 They have this

00:38:43.740 They idealize them

00:38:45.080 They have this

00:38:45.580 Whole

00:38:45.920 Convert sister

00:38:47.240 But when you

00:38:48.040 Analyze the

00:38:48.760 Problems that

00:38:49.920 Come out of them

00:38:50.660 Most of the

00:38:51.320 Many of the

00:38:51.880 Marriages

00:38:52.140 But let me

00:38:53.200 Just add one

00:38:53.960 Sorry

00:38:54.160 See the

00:38:54.720 Prophet

00:38:54.880 You're

00:38:55.960 Writing what

00:38:56.420 You said

00:38:56.820 Again

00:38:57.260 There should

00:38:58.060 Be a standard

00:38:58.680 That matches

00:38:59.220 The sunnah

00:38:59.780 But the

00:39:00.660 Reality is

00:39:01.520 Even if

00:39:02.300 Let's say

00:39:02.660 We would

00:39:02.920 Fix all men

00:39:03.600 To think

00:39:03.960 Like that

00:39:04.320 That we

00:39:04.800 Follow the

00:39:05.160 Sunnah

00:39:05.280 The men

00:39:08.200 Are still

00:39:08.700 Going to

00:39:09.160 Have a

00:39:10.380 Choice

00:39:10.720 Within that

00:39:11.260 Sunnah

00:39:11.660 Because the

00:39:12.360 Sunnah

00:39:12.580 Is prescriptive

00:39:13.380 It's not

00:39:13.700 For a man

00:39:14.560 To marry

00:39:14.940 A virgin

00:39:16.740 Or a

00:39:17.320 Divorcee

00:39:17.880 So the

00:39:19.300 Prophet

00:39:19.500 When he

00:39:19.900 Spoke about

00:39:20.500 Virginity

00:39:21.060 That time

00:39:21.600 He actually

00:39:22.580 Explained

00:39:23.200 You should

00:39:24.220 Have married

00:39:24.560 A virgin

00:39:24.940 You can see

00:39:25.240 What it

00:39:25.600 Was it

00:39:25.880 Was she

00:39:26.520 Mentioned

00:39:26.800 A virgin

00:39:27.120 And I'll

00:39:28.100 Sorry to

00:39:28.820 Go into

00:39:29.140 A little bit

00:39:29.620 Of detail

00:39:30.040 Here

00:39:30.260 But he

00:39:30.500 Says

00:39:30.680 So that

00:39:30.980 You may

00:39:31.260 Play with

00:39:31.780 Her

00:39:32.000 And she'll

00:39:32.640 Play with

00:39:33.080 You

00:39:33.160 Here it

00:39:33.440 Goes back

00:39:33.960 To

00:39:34.200 Sexuality

00:39:35.360 And

00:39:36.100 Molding

00:39:37.060 As opposed

00:39:37.640 To her

00:39:37.880 Having

00:39:38.100 Previous

00:39:38.520 Partners

00:39:38.920 Previous

00:39:39.300 Experiences

00:39:39.860 Less

00:39:40.480 Spare

00:39:40.680 Bonding

00:39:41.400 So the

00:39:42.200 Men in

00:39:42.620 General

00:39:42.900 Did the

00:39:43.700 Prophet

00:39:43.860 Sallam

00:39:44.120 Marry

00:39:44.380 Virgin

00:39:44.660 He

00:39:44.780 Married

00:39:44.960 One

00:39:45.160 Virgin

00:39:45.480 One

00:39:46.580 Aisha

00:39:46.920 Right

00:39:47.400 Other than

00:39:51.600 Understands

00:39:52.280 The fitrah

00:39:52.900 Of the

00:39:53.200 Man

00:39:53.340 When given

00:39:53.880 Two choices

00:39:54.560 What are

00:39:55.580 Men going

00:39:55.900 To choose

00:39:56.060 Look at

00:39:56.340 Your fitrah

00:39:56.760 All of

00:39:57.220 You have

00:39:57.460 Said I

00:39:57.820 Will

00:39:57.980 Accept

00:39:58.340 Yes

00:39:58.780 But ask

00:39:59.240 If you

00:40:00.280 Went for

00:40:00.520 All of

00:40:00.780 Us

00:40:00.940 And by

00:40:01.680 The way

00:40:01.820 Again

00:40:02.200 Let's

00:40:02.480 Look at

00:40:02.620 Disclaimer

00:40:02.960 Once again

00:40:04.040 If there

00:40:04.320 Is a sister

00:40:04.680 That's

00:40:04.880 Watching

00:40:05.100 This

00:40:05.300 Because it's

00:40:05.760 Pertaining

00:40:06.000 To that

00:40:06.300 I'll

00:40:07.240 Repeat

00:40:07.400 Again

00:40:07.620 We are

00:40:10.400 Not saying

00:40:10.920 That you

00:40:11.400 Might be

00:40:13.100 Better than

00:40:13.700 Many

00:40:14.020 Sisters

00:40:14.600 Out

00:40:14.880 But you

00:40:15.360 Don't

00:40:15.540 See

00:40:15.720 That

00:40:16.000 You're

00:40:16.940 Contradicting

00:40:17.500 What you

00:40:17.820 Just said

00:40:18.220 You just

00:40:18.960 Said

00:40:21.600 I never

00:40:22.500 Said

00:40:22.700 That

00:40:22.840 Just

00:40:25.240 To clarify

00:40:26.080 I don't

00:40:27.680 Blame

00:40:28.660 You

00:40:30.040 I don't

00:40:30.900 Blame

00:40:31.140 You

00:40:31.280 You

00:40:31.340 You

00:40:31.940 You

00:40:33.100 You're

00:40:33.480 Right

00:40:33.600 Just to

00:40:34.200 Clarify

00:40:34.500 What I'm

00:40:35.320 Saying

00:40:35.520 Is

00:40:35.660 This

00:40:35.800 Genuinely

00:40:36.900 If you

00:40:37.220 Ask

00:40:37.380 It's not

00:40:38.020 A social

00:40:38.280 Construct

00:40:38.600 If you

00:40:38.800 Put all

00:40:39.040 Of

00:40:39.160 Us

00:40:39.340 If I

00:40:40.160 Was

00:40:40.280 The only

00:40:40.460 Man

00:40:40.600 On

00:40:40.680 This

00:40:40.780 Planet

00:40:40.980 And

00:40:41.700 There

00:40:41.800 Was

00:40:41.920 No

00:40:42.200 Men

00:40:42.460 Within

00:40:43.200 My

00:40:43.420 Fitrah

00:40:43.680 I

00:40:43.840 Would

00:40:43.960 Be

00:40:44.060 Like

00:40:44.280 I

00:40:44.940 Would

00:40:45.100 Prefer

00:40:45.440 That

00:40:45.800 That

00:40:46.500 Doesn't

00:40:46.940 Mean

00:40:47.220 That

00:40:48.120 That

00:40:48.720 Doesn't

00:40:49.040 Mean

00:40:49.280 Yeah

00:40:49.440 No

00:40:49.620 For

00:40:49.900 A Woman

00:40:50.640 If

00:40:51.180 There

00:40:51.420 Was

00:40:51.540 No

00:40:51.680 One

00:40:51.880 On

00:40:52.080 This

00:40:52.200 Planet

00:40:52.380 And

00:40:52.500 He

00:40:52.560 Was

00:40:52.620 On

00:40:52.720 Your

00:40:52.800 Own

00:40:52.900 You

00:40:52.980 Will

00:40:53.060 Still

00:40:53.180 Say

00:40:53.300 I'll

00:40:53.980 Judge

00:40:54.160 By

00:40:54.340 His

00:40:54.440 Future

00:40:54.680 Not

00:40:54.860 By

00:40:54.960 His

00:40:55.080 Past

00:40:55.280 With

00:40:55.720 Me

00:40:55.840 I

00:40:55.940 Would

00:40:56.020 Say

00:40:56.120 No

00:40:56.240 By

00:40:56.440 By

00:40:56.460 Her

00:40:56.920 Past

00:40:57.200 So

00:40:57.560 Just

00:40:57.680 To

00:40:57.760 Give

00:40:57.820 Some

00:40:57.940 Clarification

00:40:58.420 Is

00:40:59.080 I'm

00:40:59.760 Saying

00:41:00.040 I

00:41:00.300 Would

00:41:00.400 Prefer

00:41:00.620 That

00:41:00.760 However

00:41:01.160 If

00:41:01.800 I

00:41:02.020 Go and

00:41:02.320 Come

00:41:02.440 Across

00:41:02.640 A

00:41:02.780 Sister

00:41:03.000 Who

00:41:03.500 May

00:41:03.700 Have

00:41:03.820 Made

00:41:04.000 A

00:41:04.140 Mistake

00:41:04.880 In

00:41:04.980 Her

00:41:05.080 Past

00:41:05.340 Allah

00:41:06.040 Is

00:41:06.840 My

00:41:06.940 Witness

00:41:19.900 Yeah

00:41:20.540 Bearing

00:41:21.380 Things

00:41:21.640 In

00:41:21.760 Mind

00:41:21.880 Etc

00:41:22.200 Deep

00:41:22.780 Down

00:41:23.020 I'll

00:41:23.140 Be

00:41:23.220 Like

00:41:23.420 I

00:41:23.760 Wish

00:41:24.000 It

00:41:24.140 Didn't

00:41:24.480 But

00:41:25.180 Again

00:41:26.100 I

00:41:26.400 Would

00:41:26.580 Say

00:41:26.740 You

00:41:26.860 Know

00:41:26.960 What

00:41:27.200 To

00:41:27.580 Me

00:41:27.700 Personally

00:41:28.060 If

00:41:28.320 It's

00:41:28.560 Too

00:41:28.940 Personally

00:41:29.960 To

00:41:30.220 Me

00:41:30.360 I

00:41:30.640 Can't

00:41:30.840 I'll

00:41:30.960 Be

00:41:31.040 I

00:41:31.740 Can't

00:41:32.140 Because

00:41:32.540 I

00:41:32.780 Don't

00:41:32.900 Want to

00:41:33.120 Cause

00:41:33.320 Hassle

00:41:33.560 To

00:41:33.720 You

00:41:33.900 And

00:41:34.360 Myself

00:41:34.760 So

00:41:35.240 I'm

00:41:35.660 Just

00:41:35.780 Giving

00:41:35.920 That

00:41:36.060 Disclaimer

00:41:36.460 But

00:41:37.160 This

00:41:37.420 Doesn't

00:41:37.760 Mean

00:41:37.940 That

00:41:38.160 Sister

00:41:38.400 Could

00:41:38.600 Be

00:41:38.720 100

00:41:39.140 Times

00:41:39.500 Better

00:41:39.860 Than

00:41:40.440 A

00:41:40.600 Sister

00:41:40.800 Who

00:41:40.980 Has

00:41:41.120 Never

00:41:41.360 Been

00:41:41.540 With

00:41:41.700 Somebody

00:41:41.960 I

00:41:42.400 Want

00:41:42.540 To

00:41:42.600 Make

00:41:42.720 That

00:41:42.840 Disclaimer

00:41:43.180 We're

00:41:43.400 Not

00:41:43.560 Here

00:41:43.860 Saying

00:41:44.520 We're

00:41:44.720 Just

00:41:44.880 Saying

00:41:45.140 Like

00:41:45.640 The

00:41:45.740 Sister

00:41:45.900 Says

00:41:46.100 She

00:41:46.220 Believes

00:41:46.440 It

00:41:46.540 A

00:41:46.640 Social

00:41:46.860 Construct

00:41:47.260 That

00:41:47.440 No

00:41:47.840 It's

00:41:48.080 Because

00:41:48.240 Of

00:41:48.340 Ego

00:41:48.580 For

00:41:48.720 Wallahi

00:41:49.300 Sister

00:41:49.600 Wallahi

00:41:50.160 Allah

00:41:50.420 Is

00:41:50.560 My

00:41:50.680 Witness

00:41:50.860 And

00:41:51.020 All of

00:41:51.240 Them

00:41:51.300 Will

00:41:51.420 Testify

00:41:51.720 Yeah

00:41:51.940 Is

00:41:52.520 That

00:41:52.660 Wallahi

00:41:52.960 It's

00:41:53.080 Not

00:41:53.200 Sister

00:41:53.380 We're

00:41:53.680 Created

00:41:53.920 Like

00:41:54.080 This

00:41:54.240 Just

00:41:54.680 The way

00:41:54.980 You

00:41:55.080 That

00:41:55.780 When

00:41:55.980 Your

00:41:56.260 Husband

00:41:56.800 Is

00:41:57.860 You

00:41:58.420 That's

00:41:58.580 You

00:41:58.660 Fitra

00:41:58.900 I

00:41:59.020 Don't

00:41:59.220 Men

00:42:00.260 Are

00:42:00.420 Created

00:42:00.880 To

00:42:01.180 Judge

00:42:01.460 Women

00:42:01.780 No

00:42:02.280 No

00:42:02.400 No

00:42:02.500 No

00:42:02.600 Not

00:42:02.900 Judge

00:42:03.080 Look

00:42:03.280 There's a

00:42:04.020 Misunderstanding

00:42:04.400 I need to

00:42:04.700 Clarify

00:42:04.900 It's

00:42:05.180 Very

00:42:05.340 Important

00:42:05.620 For

00:42:05.760 Our

00:42:05.860 Viewers

00:42:06.060 My

00:42:06.420 Dear

00:42:06.560 Sister

00:42:06.840 Wallahi

00:42:07.600 I'm

00:42:07.820 Not

00:42:07.940 Seeing

00:42:08.220 Okay

00:42:09.660 I'm

00:42:10.200 Not

00:42:10.360 Seeing

00:42:10.700 Yeah

00:42:11.180 What I'm

00:42:11.600 Seeing

00:42:11.780 Is

00:42:11.980 That

00:42:12.300 The way

00:42:12.840 We

00:42:13.000 Are

00:42:13.120 Created

00:42:13.620 We

00:42:14.320 Would

00:42:14.540 Prefer

00:42:15.120 Look

00:42:15.760 This

00:42:15.900 Is

00:42:15.940 The

00:42:16.020 Reason

00:42:16.180 Why

00:42:16.360 I

00:42:16.440 Give

00:42:16.580 This

00:42:16.680 Polygamy

00:42:17.020 Example

00:42:17.460 You

00:42:17.960 Would

00:42:18.140 Prefer

00:42:18.480 If

00:42:19.120 I

00:42:19.240 Asked

00:42:19.440 You

00:42:19.520 Guys

00:42:19.740 Would

00:42:20.140 You

00:42:20.260 Prefer

00:42:20.560 Okay

00:42:21.540 Would

00:42:23.240 You

00:42:23.640 Prefer

00:42:24.020 That

00:42:24.240 Your

00:42:24.380 Husband

00:42:24.620 Has

00:42:24.820 A

00:42:24.940 Second

00:42:25.140 Wife

00:42:25.380 Or

00:42:25.500 One

00:42:25.620 You

00:42:25.740 Say

00:42:25.860 I

00:42:26.000 Prefer

00:42:26.220 One

00:42:26.500 Second

00:42:27.100 It

00:42:27.420 Would

00:42:27.600 Really

00:42:27.960 Hurt

00:42:28.140 Me

00:42:28.280 I'm

00:42:28.780 Saying

00:42:29.000 With

00:42:29.180 Us

00:42:29.440 We

00:42:29.680 Would

00:42:29.840 Prefer

00:42:30.300 There

00:42:30.680 Is

00:42:30.840 No

00:42:31.040 Past

00:42:31.360 At

00:42:31.480 All

00:42:31.700 However

00:42:32.180 You

00:42:34.540 Cannot

00:42:34.960 Go

00:42:35.200 And

00:42:35.360 Be

00:42:35.460 Like

00:42:35.660 Oh

00:42:36.340 If

00:42:36.580 A

00:42:36.680 Sister

00:42:36.820 I'm

00:42:37.460 Getting

00:42:37.540 To

00:42:37.620 To

00:42:37.640 Know

00:42:37.700 A

00:42:37.780 Sister

00:42:37.900 For

00:42:38.040 Marriage

00:42:38.220 And

00:42:38.340 She

00:42:38.360 Goes

00:42:38.520 You

00:42:38.660 Know

00:42:38.740 What

00:42:38.960 I

00:42:39.680 Was

00:42:39.880 Two

00:42:41.560 Times

00:42:41.800 Whatever

00:42:42.040 I

00:42:42.600 Would

00:42:42.820 Never

00:42:43.260 Ever

00:42:43.560 Say

00:42:43.840 You're

00:42:44.260 Worse

00:42:44.440 Than

00:42:44.580 Me

00:42:44.680 I

00:42:44.780 Would

00:42:44.880 Say

00:42:44.980 You

00:42:45.080 Know

00:42:45.160 What

00:42:45.360 You

00:42:45.760 Are

00:42:45.940 Maybe

00:42:46.340 100

00:42:46.820 Times

00:42:47.060 Better

00:42:47.260 Than

00:42:47.420 Me

00:42:47.560 And

00:42:47.920 You

00:42:48.020 Know

00:42:48.120 The

00:42:48.260 Woman

00:42:48.460 Who

00:42:48.620 Was

00:42:48.780 An

00:42:48.880 Adulterah

00:42:49.340 Who

00:42:49.700 Was

00:42:49.880 Caught

00:42:50.200 And

00:42:50.700 They

00:42:51.360 Gave

00:42:51.740 The

00:42:51.900 Capital

00:42:52.100 Punishment

00:42:52.500 And

00:42:53.200 The

00:42:53.380 Blood

00:42:53.620 Was

00:42:53.760 Splattered

00:42:54.040 Onto

00:42:54.260 One

00:42:54.440 Sahaba

00:42:54.700 Feet

00:42:55.020 You

00:42:55.160 Know

00:42:55.240 What

00:42:55.340 He

00:42:55.400 Did

00:42:55.500 He

00:42:55.560 Was

00:42:55.640 If

00:42:57.680 You

00:42:57.920 Knew

00:42:58.240 Her

00:42:58.940 Repentance

00:42:59.620 Would

00:42:59.860 Be

00:43:00.000 Sufficient

00:43:00.460 For

00:43:01.100 The

00:43:01.260 Whole

00:43:01.520 Of

00:43:01.680 Medina

00:43:02.000 I

00:43:02.320 Getting

00:43:02.640 Goosebumps

00:43:03.140 I

00:43:04.240 Saying

00:43:05.260 Her

00:43:06.120 Repentance

00:43:06.820 Is

00:43:07.320 Maybe

00:43:07.740 Sufficient

00:43:08.300 For

00:43:08.520 The

00:43:08.640 Whole

00:43:08.780 Of

00:43:08.920 Medina

00:43:09.260 Look

00:43:09.660 At

00:43:09.820 The

00:43:09.920 Natural

00:43:10.300 Responses

00:43:11.640 To

00:43:11.820 Look at

00:43:14.040 That

00:43:14.140 So

00:43:14.840 The

00:43:17.160 Point

00:43:17.380 Is

00:43:17.540 This

00:43:17.740 I

00:43:18.380 Would

00:43:18.860 Never

00:43:19.160 Look

00:43:19.360 At

00:43:19.440 That

00:43:19.580 Sister

00:43:19.800 And

00:43:19.960 Be

00:43:20.040 Like

00:43:20.180 You

00:43:20.300 Know

00:43:20.380 What

00:43:20.580 I

00:43:20.880 Would

00:43:20.980 Say

00:43:21.100 You

00:43:21.260 You

00:43:21.280 Are

00:43:21.380 Probably

00:43:21.620 100

00:43:22.160 Times

00:43:22.400 Better

00:43:22.600 Than

00:43:22.800 Me

00:43:22.980 But

00:43:23.380 Personally

00:43:23.980 On

00:43:24.240 My

00:43:24.380 Fitra

00:43:24.740 It's

00:43:25.920 Just

00:43:26.120 Can I

00:43:28.740 Command

00:43:29.060 Can I

00:43:29.380 Command

00:43:29.680 It's

00:43:32.560 Really

00:43:32.720 Not

00:43:32.860 Against

00:43:33.160 You

00:43:33.340 Just

00:43:33.540 So

00:43:33.640 I

00:43:33.740 Can

00:43:33.840 Have

00:43:33.960 A

00:43:34.060 Say

00:43:34.220 To

00:43:34.340 You

00:43:34.420 Just

00:43:34.660 Wanted

00:43:36.040 To

00:43:36.180 Say

00:43:36.340 That

00:43:36.540 We

00:43:36.720 Are

00:43:37.120 Naturally

00:43:37.740 Quite

00:43:37.980 Curious

00:43:38.480 Creatures

00:43:39.100 We're

00:43:39.440 Crazy

00:43:39.660 Like

00:43:39.840 That

00:43:39.980 And

00:43:40.120 We're

00:43:40.220 Very

00:43:40.360 Judgemental

00:43:40.900 As

00:43:41.100 Well

00:43:41.260 As

00:43:41.420 Much

00:43:41.580 As

00:43:41.660 We

00:43:41.740 Try

00:43:41.880 Not

00:43:42.020 To

00:43:42.140 Be

00:43:42.300 So

00:43:43.360 When

00:43:43.580 You're

00:43:43.880 Trying

00:43:44.340 To

00:43:44.500 Pick

00:43:44.640 A

00:43:44.780 Spouse

00:43:45.220 You're

00:43:51.380 Because

00:43:52.000 The

00:43:52.180 Past

00:43:52.480 Would

00:43:53.300 Determine

00:43:53.760 What

00:43:54.100 Kind

00:43:54.260 Of

00:43:54.380 Character

00:43:54.680 They

00:43:54.860 Had

00:43:55.080 How

00:43:55.240 They

00:43:55.360 Carried

00:43:55.580 Themselves

00:43:56.120 And

00:43:56.780 The

00:43:57.080 Future

00:43:57.440 Would

00:43:57.580 Determine

00:43:57.880 What

00:43:58.060 Kind

00:43:58.300 Of

00:43:58.460 Spouse

00:43:59.000 And

00:43:59.320 Parents

00:43:59.640 They

00:43:59.820 Make

00:44:00.120 For

00:44:01.300 Example

00:44:01.860 Completely

00:44:02.200 Unrelated

00:44:02.600 If

00:44:02.960 I

00:44:03.080 Was

00:44:03.320 To

00:44:03.620 Say

00:44:04.060 Invest

00:44:04.520 Into

00:44:04.760 Cryptocurrency

00:44:05.460 I'm

00:44:06.100 Going

00:44:06.200 To

00:44:06.280 Look

00:44:06.440 At

00:44:06.560 Bitcoin

00:44:06.860 And

00:44:07.120 See

00:44:07.280 Exactly

00:44:07.600 How

00:44:07.820 It's

00:44:07.960 Been

00:44:08.040 Fluctuating

00:44:08.560 I'm

00:44:08.900 Really

00:44:09.060 Not

00:44:09.220 Going

00:44:09.360 To

00:44:09.400 Throw

00:44:09.600 My

00:44:09.740 Money

00:44:09.920 In

00:44:10.080 There

00:44:10.280 I'm

00:44:10.760 Going

00:44:10.860 To

00:44:10.940 Look

00:44:11.040 At

00:44:11.180 It's

00:44:11.300 Past

00:44:11.640 We

00:44:11.800 Look

00:44:11.940 At

00:44:12.020 The

00:44:12.140 Investment

00:44:12.560 That

00:44:12.760 I've

00:44:12.960 Made

00:44:13.160 And

00:44:13.280 Others

00:44:13.580 Have

00:44:13.740 Earned

00:44:13.980 Before

00:44:14.160 I

00:44:14.280 Invest

00:44:14.500 In

00:44:14.640 That

00:44:14.800 And

00:44:15.520 We

00:44:15.860 Invest

00:44:16.340 In

00:44:16.500 Spouses

00:44:17.100 In

00:44:17.440 Their

00:44:18.460 Future

00:44:18.760 And

00:44:18.900 Our

00:44:19.020 Children's

00:44:19.720 Future

00:44:19.900 That

00:44:20.100 Goes

00:44:20.280 On

00:44:20.420 Forever

00:44:20.700 That

00:44:20.960 It's

00:44:21.040 A

00:44:21.160 Life

00:44:21.480 Long

00:44:21.700 Investment

00:44:22.120 So

00:44:22.900 I

00:44:23.020 Think

00:44:23.180 It's

00:44:23.400 Not

00:44:23.560 Necessarily

00:44:25.320 Wrong

00:44:25.780 To

00:44:26.120 Ask

00:44:26.660 Somebody

00:44:26.960 About

00:44:27.160 Their

00:44:27.320 Past

00:44:27.660 But

00:44:27.880 It

00:44:27.960 Depends

00:44:28.160 On

00:44:28.300 What

00:44:28.560 You

00:44:28.800 Are

00:44:29.020 Asking

00:44:29.480 And

00:44:30.120 That

00:44:30.320 Is

00:44:30.500 Where

00:44:30.720 The

00:44:30.960 Line

00:44:31.240 Is

00:44:31.660 And

00:44:31.840 You

00:44:32.020 Gotta

00:44:32.140 Make

00:44:32.300 Sure

00:44:32.400 Don't

00:44:32.520 Cross

00:44:32.700 It

00:44:32.900 Exactly

00:44:33.300 And

00:44:33.560 I

00:44:33.640 Would

00:44:33.960 Personally

00:44:34.160 Say

00:44:34.320 Sisters

00:44:34.720 Hide

00:44:35.320 It

00:44:35.560 And

00:44:36.020 It's

00:44:36.380 Simple

00:44:36.600 If

00:44:36.920 He

00:44:37.020 Says

00:44:37.200 Make

00:44:38.260 An

00:44:38.380 Excuse

00:44:38.640 He

00:44:39.320 Said

00:44:39.520 I

00:44:39.900 Would

00:44:40.320 Want

00:44:40.480 A

00:44:40.640 Wife

00:44:40.900 Who's

00:44:41.140 A

00:44:41.320 Virgin

00:44:41.540 And

00:44:42.080 Who

00:44:42.280 Doesn't

00:44:42.580 Got

00:44:42.700 Work

00:44:42.980 Make

00:44:43.360 The

00:44:43.460 Work

00:44:43.620 An

00:44:43.720 Excuse

00:44:43.900 You

00:44:44.140 Want

00:44:44.880 I

00:44:45.180 Want

00:44:45.300 To

00:44:45.380 Work

00:44:45.600 Don't

00:44:46.240 Go

00:44:46.400 And

00:44:46.540 Say

00:44:46.680 Hide

00:44:48.240 It

00:44:48.480 I

00:44:48.720 Would

00:44:48.840 Personally

00:44:49.080 Say

00:44:49.340 Hide

00:44:49.960 It

00:44:50.160 As

00:44:50.380 Much

00:44:50.580 As

00:44:50.700 Possible

00:44:51.040 Because

00:44:51.760 I

00:44:52.620 Just

00:44:52.920 Wanted

00:44:53.240 To

00:44:53.380 Command

00:44:55.820 You

00:44:56.120 Because

00:44:56.500 Command

00:44:56.900 Yeah

00:44:57.460 Like

00:44:57.920 I

00:45:00.080 Rate

00:45:00.320 That

00:45:00.500 Because

00:45:00.760 I

00:45:01.100 Know

00:45:01.260 Personally

00:45:01.700 I

00:45:04.780 Know

00:45:04.920 You

00:45:05.080 Personally

00:45:05.460 So

00:45:05.700 I

00:45:05.820 Know

00:45:06.040 The

00:45:06.840 Decisions

00:45:07.280 You

00:45:07.420 Made

00:45:07.680 In

00:45:07.800 The

00:45:07.940 Past

00:45:08.360 Which

00:45:09.280 Go

00:45:09.920 Against

00:45:10.380 The

00:45:10.780 Things

00:45:11.000 That

00:45:11.180 You

00:45:11.300 Believe

00:45:11.720 No

00:45:12.100 That

00:45:12.940 Decision

00:45:14.100 That

00:45:14.240 You

00:45:14.320 Made

00:45:14.580 In

00:45:14.700 The

00:45:14.820 Past

00:45:15.240 If

00:45:16.080 You

00:45:16.200 Were

00:45:16.320 To

00:45:16.480 Place

00:45:16.760 Them

00:45:16.920 With

00:45:17.100 What

00:45:17.280 You

00:45:17.420 Say

00:45:17.580 Today

00:45:17.980 They

00:45:18.360 Would

00:45:18.500 Be

00:45:18.620 The

00:45:18.820 Opposite

00:45:19.180 So

00:45:19.320 I

00:45:19.420 Can

00:45:19.560 We

00:45:19.820 Learn

00:45:20.020 Right

00:45:20.500 No

00:45:20.980 It's

00:45:21.440 Good

00:45:21.640 Because

00:45:21.920 You're

00:45:22.140 Saying

00:45:22.380 Basically

00:45:22.780 Look

00:45:23.080 This

00:45:23.300 Is

00:45:23.400 How

00:45:23.540 Men

00:45:23.780 Are

00:45:24.120 Despite

00:45:24.800 Of

00:45:25.060 That

00:45:25.220 I

00:45:25.520 Did

00:45:25.800 Choose

00:45:26.680 To

00:45:26.840 Be

00:45:27.020 Married

00:45:27.320 To

00:45:27.480 Someone

00:45:27.660 Who's

00:45:27.960 Been

00:45:28.180 Married

00:45:28.420 Before

00:45:28.760 Do

00:45:29.000 I

00:45:48.820 To

00:45:50.160 To

00:45:58.740 and one thing i would love to see because you see so for example if fresh and fit or andrew tate or

00:46:05.300 anyone they have these podcasts what happens is that these are like hubs of education right people

00:46:11.120 learn from these things so like yes i understand that man and honestly if you were to ask me

00:46:17.640 i'll be honest look if if there is a female and i know she had like a crazy past it would be even

00:46:23.680 for me it would be difficult i'll be honest i'll be it would be difficult for me to be like yeah

00:46:28.100 because i would look at sometimes if you're like do you mean this is this thing yeah like man have

00:46:34.080 like this weird weird ways you know you know where that's coming from just not to cut you up here

00:46:37.960 you know where that's coming from yeah is as men we need to understand and i'm very very sorry like

00:46:42.600 trying to put this in the best way possible there is a bit of truth but i don't want to cross lines

00:46:48.800 of modesty yeah it's that for a man the act of intimacy is being done too so because of a man

00:46:55.240 psychologically he's like so just for a man we're like wow like just yeah just the only reason i'm

00:47:02.740 saying is just so sisters understand a man's psychology just where we come from that's all

00:47:05.960 i want that's my aim i don't want to like yeah so like but saying this and this i think this is the

00:47:10.180 main difference between us and like the rest of all the communities we're struggling at the moment is

00:47:16.060 that we have islam and that we have the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:47:20.240 emulate like what what did the prophet say like when the sahabas when you used to tell the sahabas

00:47:25.740 there will come a time where people would not know left from right and people gonna it's like

00:47:29.240 stick to my sunnah like i'll tell you like this this platform because and i love what what you're

00:47:36.060 doing mashallah you're doing it already like educate people right change people's mind because

00:47:41.120 it's not that it's so hardwired that it can't change because you mentioned something very beautiful

00:47:46.260 earlier he said that and i know this as well that in a somali community for a divorcing woman to get

00:47:51.480 married is very easy yeah so clearly there's something within them yes that they have in fact

00:47:56.420 they're people of quran in a lot of in a lot of african countries that are predominantly muslim yeah

00:48:02.640 this is not an issue it's not an issue so you have to look at the subcontinents where this might be

00:48:09.320 a bigger issue you know whereas can you have been yeah can we remember times where last one we need

00:48:15.800 to wrap up okay i i i don't know if it's always a bad thing like every um you were saying about

00:48:21.180 amongst the asian community there are certain things that we may see as bad but it has preserved

00:48:26.480 them for a very very long time but i think for people who live in a diaspora it's for us to start to

00:48:32.520 negotiate certain things you know and starting to realize that okay this might be the nature of man

00:48:38.340 but the circumstances that we're in now there's so many females who are not married

00:48:43.520 do we have to adjust ourselves according to these realities i think the bitter truth is tell a sister

00:48:50.180 please uh we need to speak more to our daughters and our sons yes and start at educational levels

00:48:58.200 and stop being so shy to have these conversations with them because in schools it's no shyness there

00:49:05.640 there is no shyness they are they are feeding your kids exactly these topics all the time they're

00:49:12.240 going to be around them yeah children who are doing these things and if we're so shy trust me in school

00:49:19.180 they're not being hid away from these things and they are going to go out and do these things and

00:49:24.680 regret it in the future there are social media influencers who actually used to teach girls to be

00:49:31.380 free who are now turning away from it and saying actually i didn't value myself so teach your

00:49:38.000 daughters to love and value themselves and boundaries irrespective of a man's opinion they should love

00:49:44.220 and value themselves so that they do not have to regret with their creator first yeah you're talking

00:49:49.640 about kids but i want to talk as well about muslima women you know that sometimes are tempted by

00:49:55.160 men's by meeting muslims think they are protected by think that

00:50:00.400 you're filming please okay and i want to talk um you talked about kids but even our sisters are

00:50:06.780 uneducated with the fact that you put boundaries protect themselves from they think like zina is

00:50:11.660 only for the non-muslims or the non-practicing no zina happens in our community my sisters like i always

00:50:18.000 like advise protect your dignity protect your honor at all cost and another thing i want to say and i

00:50:24.200 joined the brother they would we need to make our criteria the sunnah we need to align them and

00:50:31.180 we're talking about it like it's undurable no it's like that it's the fitra no not a long time ago we

00:50:36.980 used to bury girls and alhamdulillah we are far far from that it was the culture it was the norm it was

00:50:42.280 normal what you will say like it's it's normal like we think like that but it's the lack of fitra

00:50:47.720 it's the lack of an islamic yeah yeah exactly no i'm saying those muslims changed no they were

00:50:53.760 muslims they were the pagan but what i'm trying to say it was at that time in islam changed them

00:50:59.140 islam changed them this is what i'm trying to say that we have hope there was a norm in society

00:51:04.740 exactly and that norm can be changed one one thing i want to say we need to wrap up yeah one thing and

00:51:10.140 can you imagine if men were judged by their past by women no i'm sorry i just want to say

00:51:13.660 it will stop them from from doing zina it will stop them from sinning if the woman if the woman

00:51:19.860 will be judging brothers by their past they will be more careful just like the sisters like you

00:51:24.340 were saying is protecting them but that's why i know it's ideal no no that's what we're seeing it

00:51:28.100 goes back to the fitra you you that's but women don't do because you know you know that what i was

00:51:33.040 talking about maybe we should no no but this is now this becomes a social construct because you're

00:51:38.100 like let's do it now you're coming together with your sisters and saying i'm not saying that i'm

00:51:41.000 saying generally speaking for you you should no no one second sisters please understand something

00:51:45.780 what you're doing is a social construct let's come together and put pressure no problem no problem

00:51:50.980 the point i'm trying to say is the following we are built it's hard hardwired you guys are saying

00:51:56.140 let's reprogram that's the difference which shows which one which shows what no she's saying we

00:52:01.540 should re sorry we should reinforce yes the importance of chastity okay to our boys yes as much as it is

00:52:10.760 and and and yes hundred percent if it was that yes yes no no we have to do that brothers we stop

00:52:15.380 no no what that means is that no no what that means is as brothers well let me be honest when i

00:52:19.100 first came to islam i had a show called the reality show yeah i used to grill brothers on this topic

00:52:23.660 day in day out yeah literally well like how men think do you remember that yeah exposing well like

00:52:28.460 day in day out you know why because we say it to our brothers we're not here like get easy right

00:52:31.840 and let me tell you one thing you know we talked about how there's a greater consequence for a woman

00:52:35.280 but this is something we don't talk about this interesting yeah to the brothers that are watching this yeah

00:52:39.120 you see when you go and and i'm not saying the sisters are innocent yeah please listen to this

00:52:44.220 carefully brother when you go and try to fool that sister or whatever to commit a zinnah just imagine

00:52:49.780 this for a second yeah okay you need to understand that there if there are if you're doing that to

00:52:54.960 somebody else's sister and somebody else's daughter there are many men like you who are doing it to

00:52:59.180 your future wife now which future sister listen listen listen listen listen listen because when we talk

00:53:04.480 about these consequences i want you to understand something if every man listen to this if every

00:53:10.080 man goes and tricks a woman or whatever it may be yeah into this i like guess what guess what happens

00:53:15.960 there's consequences that's the reason why that's the reason why when you go and you cry you're not

00:53:21.320 virgin yeah remember that girl yeah yeah that is what is happening because there are ripple effects and

00:53:28.420 this is what happens to people oh my sister bro bro allah works in ways that's the way yes there

00:53:34.300 might be pair bonding issues with the sisters it's a reality but brother when you wake up and you're

00:53:39.040 like oh yeah remember those girls that you was with you thought it's all happy days for you yeah

00:53:42.180 okay how about this now so there are consequences and allah is the most just let's end on that no

00:53:47.280 inshallah my dear sisters please forgive us if we said anything crossing the line we just genuinely doing

00:53:51.780 this like you said we have to talk about these topics because so we can educate people yeah and

00:53:56.220 inshallah we can be a role model that all four of us muslims can come together with adab

00:53:59.900 akhlaq talk about issues that help the people who are watching inshallah and that is the aim of

00:54:04.080 this show um sorry concluding reminds well concluding reminds inshallah but aside from brother gabriel

00:54:08.660 inshallah then dawud then actually you know what let's start with the sister they're going to say

00:54:11.880 these misogynistic men who are you know uh okay uh start from yourself and then can you come back

00:54:18.620 to me yeah sure please so starting with yourself inshallah closing statements um i was just gonna say

00:54:23.920 like a message for women don't write yourselves off if you uh sinned in the past like we all do we

00:54:31.620 all make mistakes allah is the most forgiving and i personally would say do not expose your sins like

00:54:39.320 you don't need to it's not a man's business to know your past he should know you for your present

00:54:45.140 and what you are now bringing forward if allah has forgiven you then it's not a man's responsibility

00:54:51.020 to take allah's responsibility you know may allah bless you is that so yeah yeah just to remind

00:54:57.840 uh brothers as well i'm gonna go again self-accountability as well on their own sins

00:55:02.140 may allah bless you this is so crucial subhanallah and and you know like to summarize what you were

00:55:07.060 saying i know i kept throwing it out but as you do will be done to you so sometimes subhanallah

00:55:13.160 it's not even the fear of allah is the fact that you be scared that something will happen the same

00:55:18.060 to your daughter to your wife and yes so just align our criteria to the sunnah true but so bro is

00:55:25.100 watching don't make criteria would i want this for a sister don't do it why do you always have to be

00:55:29.160 you're right like that hurts them more you're right that bothers them more yeah but don't do it bro

00:55:33.540 it's not about somebody's sister exactly there's some doubt for me so yeah pretty much the same yeah

00:55:39.260 yeah okay okay okay for the brothers i would say don't ask questions that you can't handle the

00:55:46.300 answers to that's something that is very important um sisters some a lot of sisters think again it's

00:55:55.200 the guys fault as well a lot of sisters think when the guys start talking to them and they start

00:55:59.820 getting a bit on the intimate side um in the marriage let's say because a lot of these issues cause

00:56:05.840 divorces when they find out yeah it'll be literally something like this from what i've seen from my

00:56:10.940 clients yeah sitting on a saturday evening on a couch watching that's why i gave disclaimer bro i know

00:56:15.420 yeah and then saying like oh how's your you know we never talked about this yeah and she thinks

00:56:21.620 sometimes that this is going to like wow earn him on yes yeah do you see whoa i beg you may Allah bless

00:56:27.880 you this is why i talk about this you know why because from a sister's point of view she's thinking

00:56:32.300 oh it's not that deep for me it's deep for him don't talk about it and he's gonna pretend

00:56:37.120 the guy what the guy's gonna do don't worry honey it's okay you know we all have we all have a past

00:56:41.420 is this based from experience you know what you were saying is this based from experience like

00:56:47.800 is this what you've heard from clients say yeah yeah yeah sister because for a guy will be something

00:56:52.100 like they'll sexualize it or make it all kinky they might be watching something a movie or something

00:56:57.120 like that and he's like come on it's okay come on come on and she'll be like oh she thinks like

00:57:01.940 wow i'm gonna like turn him on yeah yeah yeah it's true she says it divorce there she's the

00:57:05.820 divorce divorce i just don't understand where that mentality yeah no but that's that's how we're

00:57:10.760 created this is what i'm saying not you i just don't think what type of woman what i would advise

00:57:15.160 yeah why would she do that i don't get it yeah it's the time is the emotion guys we need to wrap up

00:57:19.960 yeah so as the sister don't expose your sins don't uh guys don't ask don't ask questions

00:57:25.500 just sisters don't think that if you're gonna give answers it's gonna make yes and no only no

00:57:29.040 no only that make sure if this this person is not sticking on you like that yeah guys sounds bad

00:57:35.460 but be as look as remorseful as possible that's what i'm gonna say because the moment you're like

00:57:39.840 so what i've done it we're gonna do what there's one thing with brothers see you later brothers get

00:57:45.640 they sorry they get hyped up or burned on as long as she's not your wife as soon as she's your wife

00:57:52.080 bro we see that yeah he meets in a club but she's not going to the club again yeah

00:57:56.460 i would say this i would say this and i think this is something um i'd say to the sisters look

00:58:04.580 sisters please help us help us to like you know exist in this world because we live in a very very

00:58:13.260 very difficult time you know and like i think yeah and there are certain things in society we

00:58:20.000 can't change females will be judged more harshly that's just the truth and um you know and that's

00:58:29.140 society now it doesn't mean that it can't change but like i feel like for females to really really

00:58:35.860 really support the brothers you know um and and to be a bit more understanding that sometimes a lot of

00:58:43.480 men nowadays as well like because of like this whole masculinity thing being like dragged out of us

00:58:49.000 we may not be able to sort of like behave the way we we supposed to behave so i would just any sister

00:58:56.680 out there like married woman like just try to help and make the situation better because i think the

00:59:04.000 statement between like the woman is judged by her past and the man is judged by the future i think

00:59:09.640 the most important thing for muslims yeah this is specifically for muslims is that the the judgment

00:59:16.060 should be that which will bring you to jenna both of you that's like the most important thing yeah

00:59:21.520 if you and i feel like this is the problem with us muslims nowadays is that we're too entrenched in like

00:59:26.800 the now if if we could build a relationship together a vision together that goes beyond life

00:59:33.980 because this is this is what makes that's the difference between the muslim that does the

00:59:38.860 difference between the qorej and the muslim is that sorry yeah to build a a relationship that

00:59:46.040 looks at jenna like and this is not listen i'm not trying to sound cheesy this is the truth you want

00:59:52.860 to you want to talk about reality that's reality everyone's going to die you're going to die

00:59:57.620 focus on that which will bring it to allah may allah bless you dawad um hello me i'll just

01:00:03.960 make this short um the the correct thing and the islamic thing the correct thing and islamic

01:00:08.920 thing is to keep it private but i would be a hypocrite and i'll be a liar but i'll be a hypocrite

01:00:15.340 and i'll be a liar if i say that i wouldn't ask and my personal opinion and i'll be honest doesn't

01:00:20.380 mean i'm right yeah i would say be honest and open from the from the get-go the reason why i say this

01:00:27.960 is because sometimes give an example if if a brother speaks to a girl and she's not a hijabi

01:00:33.260 and he wants her to be a hijabi and then they talk for like two three months and he catches his

01:00:37.840 feelings and then when he asks her after two three months i want a hijabi can you put on a hijab and

01:00:42.560 she says no he's stuck now between i like this girl i want to be with her and then he may sacrifice

01:00:48.260 what he wants or what he should never be in that relationship anyways but you know what no no no

01:00:52.720 but what i'm saying is what i'm saying is um it's better yes that you're open again my opinion but

01:00:58.860 you're open and honest from the book from the get-go and the guy says okay i don't want that or you

01:01:03.280 keep it hidden and then maybe one way or somewhere he finds out detrimental you know what that's that's

01:01:08.080 a discussion on its own does a man have a right to ask the past that's the discussion we're gonna we're

01:01:14.120 gonna have that inshallah on the next show our honorable sisters may allah bless every single one

01:01:18.080 of you guys wallahi wallahi the fact that you guys are here and sharing this may allah bless you

01:01:21.640 guys inshallah we really appreciate that our brothers may allah bless you haloo dawood brother

01:01:25.360 gabriel may allah bless you inshallah be an absolute gem as much as dawood and brother haloo inshallah

01:01:29.760 if you guys liked it do you want the same people to come on inshallah please let us know comment

01:01:33.260 in the section below what topics do you want us to discuss email us want to be in the panel

01:01:36.940 you can inshallah please forgive us if we hurt you in any way shape or form which is genuine genuinely want

01:01:42.220 to understand opposite gender so we can have a better future together till next time from bitter

01:01:46.260 truth assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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Ali Dawah - February 14, 2023

WHY DOES HER VIRGINITY MATTER？ - EP 4 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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