Ali Dawah - April 15, 2023


WHY MEN GET SECRET SECOND WIVES - EP 8 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 15 minutes

Words per minute

202.80672

Word count

15,362

Sentence count

28

Harmful content

Misogyny

133

sentences flagged

Toxicity

97

sentences flagged

Hate speech

362

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Is it okay for a Muslim man to have a second or third wife or even a fourth wife? Is it okay to keep it a secret from his family unit? Is it OK to keep a secret between a Muslim woman and her husband?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 If they put me, hijab, brother Sertaj, Dawood on lie detector test 1.00
00:00:03.580 And they said the following questions
00:00:05.040 Do you love your wife? Yes, pass
00:00:07.800 Would you die for her? Yes, pass
00:00:09.920 If your wife was okay, would you get a second wife? Yes, pass 1.00
00:00:13.520 There is not a conflict between a man loving his wife
00:00:17.200 And a man wanting to be polygamous
00:00:20.080 I agree
00:00:20.600 I get the polygamous part 0.97
00:00:22.420 I get the whole wanting to have more intimacy with more than one woman
00:00:26.580 But if you can ask the question more accurately
00:00:30.100 That take on another wife 1.00
00:00:32.100 And all the responsibilities that come with another wife 1.00
00:00:34.860 How many men will agree to that?
00:00:36.860 For example, if one says
00:00:38.040 I sense that you've got a second wife 0.98
00:00:39.980 Can he say, no I don't?
00:00:42.320 Yes he can, you can see that
00:00:43.240 I possibly believe this is
00:00:45.500 If we sit down and we talk about it
00:00:47.720 And I take my selfish knees out of it
00:00:50.180 I.e. me wanting him all to myself
00:00:52.900 I need to understand them
00:00:54.160 So I need to sit down
00:00:55.240 And I need to really think about
00:00:56.720 How this is going to affect him
00:00:58.660 It could lead him into doing dinner
00:01:01.100 Because my wife was 0.50
00:01:02.180 She always gave me the
00:01:03.680 Sort of the feeling
00:01:05.560 That I could be open with her
00:01:07.300 I told her
00:01:08.880 At one point
00:01:10.000 That
00:01:10.260 Look babe
00:01:11.480 That's the sister 0.97
00:01:12.760 Is that you, yeah?
00:01:14.580 I'm possibly
00:01:15.020 If we're talking about secret second wife
00:01:18.120 If my husband has gone behind my back
00:01:21.260 That to me is cheating
00:01:23.200 Even if it is Islamically correct 1.00
00:01:25.900 Feminist sisters who love their sisters 0.98
00:01:27.620 Who will die for their sisters 0.94
00:01:28.760 Who will take a bullet for their sisters
00:01:30.100 But will not share their husbands for their sisters 0.99
00:01:31.740 So the point is this
00:01:33.200 You know, let me be real, yeah?
00:01:34.240 If you love your
00:01:34.860 If you've got a good husband
00:01:35.740 By the way
00:01:36.200 I'm not talking about these guys
00:01:37.160 Who don't pray
00:01:37.600 Jahil
00:01:38.040 Clowns, yeah?
00:01:38.980 Who don't pray 0.99
00:01:39.500 Who oppress their wives
00:01:40.400 A good man who practices
00:01:41.680 Who fears Allah
00:01:42.380 Who's good to his wife 0.97
00:01:43.140 Takes care of his wife
00:01:44.020 He comes and he says
00:01:45.260 I want a second wife 1.00
00:01:46.300 All hell breaks loose
00:01:47.980 And then we blame this man
00:01:49.180 Yeah, but why are you keeping it secret?
00:01:51.140 What else should he do?
00:01:51.740 This is a test to see how
00:01:53.080 Allah is testing her 1.00
00:01:54.200 To see how she responds
00:01:55.160 If she decides to do the opposite
00:01:57.420 Which is, you know
00:01:58.940 Throw the divorce card
00:02:00.900 Or throw this card
00:02:01.880 Then ultimately
00:02:02.940 She is falling into the act of disobedience 0.73
00:02:04.820 Thank you
00:02:05.280 Thank you
00:02:05.860 Which I'm now expecting
00:02:07.340 As a Muslim man to follow 0.99
00:02:08.240 It's not the religion of Al-Islam 1.00
00:02:09.860 It's the religion of women's feelings 1.00
00:02:11.700 I'm not going to follow that religion 1.00
00:02:13.040 With respect to you
00:02:14.220 I'm not going to do
00:02:15.280 Prestoration to the
00:02:16.640 Collective hormonal
00:02:17.880 And emotional status
00:02:19.120 Of men or women 0.78
00:02:19.840 Or children
00:02:20.220 Or anybody else
00:02:20.840 You're saying if he's man enough
00:02:22.040 If your husband came to you man enough
00:02:23.520 And said to you
00:02:24.060 He wants a second wife 1.00
00:02:24.860 At least then it's not secret
00:02:26.200 I knew about it
00:02:26.940 One sec, one sec, one sec
00:02:27.840 You know about it
00:02:28.640 Are you going to
00:02:29.420 What are you going to do?
00:02:29.920 Are you going to say to me
00:02:30.420 Yeah, you can?
00:02:31.120 Thank you
00:02:31.400 Your face is
00:02:31.820 No
00:02:31.980 If he knows that she would
00:02:34.440 Withhold the kids from him
00:02:35.480 Use the state
00:02:36.140 Then do it without her knowledge
00:02:37.400 But I believe that's a form of abuse
00:02:38.980 You said bro 0.99
00:02:39.620 And I'll call them cowards 0.97
00:02:40.820 Who would rather make their wife happy 0.96
00:02:43.020 At the displeasure of Allah
00:02:44.580 Yeah 1.00
00:02:45.180 A coward 1.00
00:02:45.900 The biggest coward ever 1.00
00:02:47.000 That would go and commit zina 1.00
00:02:48.560 Adultery 0.90
00:02:49.580 At the cost of my wife 1.00
00:02:51.100 You are the biggest simp ever 0.91
00:02:52.640 With a capital S
00:02:53.520 Islamnet is raising funds
00:03:07.360 To establish a masjid 0.96
00:03:08.340 And community center in Norway
00:03:09.600 And they urgently need your support
00:03:11.320 This donation will be
00:03:12.300 A sadaqa jari for you 1.00
00:03:13.320 Because every person
00:03:14.560 That comes a step closer
00:03:16.200 To Allah through your donation
00:03:17.500 You will inshallah
00:03:18.280 Be reaping the reward
00:03:19.000 Click the link
00:03:19.680 And donate what you can
00:03:20.720 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
00:03:22.980 To your brothers and sisters
00:03:23.600 And dear friends
00:03:24.140 Hope you guys are well inshallah
00:03:25.000 Before I start
00:03:25.600 I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.99
00:03:26.680 The most merciful
00:03:27.200 The most just
00:03:27.780 I'll praise His glory
00:03:28.500 And gratitude
00:03:28.860 Belong to Him
00:03:29.440 So just quick
00:03:31.220 Bitter buzzers
00:03:32.360 If you oppose anyone
00:03:33.540 Just press it
00:03:34.180 You have one and a half minute
00:03:35.040 Let's try obviously
00:03:37.360 Not to backbite
00:03:38.240 Or sadaqa jari 0.96
00:03:39.040 I know we're not going to
00:03:39.840 But just a disclaimer
00:03:40.840 And that
00:03:42.660 Our honourable sisters
00:03:43.420 Our honourable brothers
00:03:44.140 Are here
00:03:44.420 To discuss something pertaining
00:03:46.140 For the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00
00:03:47.360 Because we know
00:03:48.440 There's an attack on the family unit
00:03:49.680 Left right centre
00:03:50.460 And inshallah
00:03:51.500 Our aim with that show
00:03:52.400 Is to counter that
00:03:54.060 Inshallah
00:03:54.440 To preserve marriages
00:03:55.520 Let's get straight into it
00:03:56.680 The topic is
00:03:57.360 Secret second wives
00:03:59.160 And yes
00:04:01.280 The first topic is
00:04:02.240 Is it okay
00:04:03.060 So we're going to do
00:04:04.240 Is two segments
00:04:04.840 The first one is going to be
00:04:05.900 That
00:04:06.500 Is it okay for a man 0.99
00:04:08.180 To be in a secret
00:04:09.460 Second marriage
00:04:12.020 Or third or fourth marriage
00:04:12.860 For that
00:04:13.140 Let's start with you Hijab 1.00
00:04:14.200 Inshallah
00:04:14.580 So let me just summarise
00:04:16.420 The points
00:04:16.820 I think
00:04:17.780 When we say
00:04:18.220 Is it okay
00:04:18.640 Now for Muslim people
00:04:19.800 At least
00:04:20.120 This will become
00:04:20.580 A fiqhi discussion
00:04:21.400 This becomes
00:04:22.320 A jurisprudential discussion
00:04:23.420 Islamic law discussion
00:04:24.600 So with fiqh 1.00
00:04:26.060 There's two
00:04:26.540 There's two components
00:04:27.580 There's the abstract
00:04:28.920 And there's the application
00:04:30.240 Okay
00:04:30.960 The abstract
00:04:31.820 You can refer to as fiqh
00:04:32.820 Or the rulings
00:04:33.360 Or the
00:04:34.360 Asl al-hukm 1.00
00:04:35.180 They would call it
00:04:35.840 And then you have
00:04:36.500 Tanzeel al-hukm
00:04:37.240 Which is the application
00:04:37.940 Right
00:04:38.340 So
00:04:39.060 To give you an example
00:04:40.460 Marriage itself
00:04:41.140 Can take different rulings
00:04:42.060 Sugar
00:04:43.280 Can take different rulings
00:04:44.580 Like if someone's got diabetes
00:04:45.540 And they take sugar
00:04:46.680 That can be haram for them
00:04:47.680 You see
00:04:48.340 If someone is morbidly obese
00:04:50.300 And they eat food
00:04:50.980 That can be haram for them
00:04:51.960 Because it's harmful
00:04:52.800 So even food
00:04:54.160 Can take different rulings
00:04:55.340 Even though a piece of chicken
00:04:56.560 For example
00:04:57.120 Or a cube of sugar
00:04:58.540 In itself is not haram
00:04:59.760 But it can be haram
00:05:01.140 In certain situations
00:05:01.960 Yeah
00:05:03.000 And so there's lots of things like that
00:05:04.380 In general
00:05:05.060 When we talk about this issue here
00:05:06.760 To get straight into it
00:05:08.340 When we talk about
00:05:09.420 Secret second wives
00:05:10.180 There's no such thing
00:05:10.900 As secret second wives 0.96
00:05:12.080 In Islam
00:05:12.720 Because
00:05:13.600 There's no secrets
00:05:15.160 In nikah 0.98
00:05:16.000 You need to have
00:05:17.020 At least two witnesses
00:05:17.840 Okay
00:05:18.680 According to the majority
00:05:20.000 Of scholars
00:05:20.460 The Malikiya 0.99
00:05:21.700 They say you don't even
00:05:22.620 Need to have witnesses
00:05:23.460 They say it's mustahab
00:05:24.800 It's not wajib
00:05:25.420 For the most part
00:05:26.000 That's the school of thought
00:05:27.120 But they use the hadith 0.98
00:05:28.820 I'lan al-nikah
00:05:29.620 Or you have to
00:05:30.660 I'lan of the nikah 1.00
00:05:31.940 You have to
00:05:32.760 You know
00:05:33.480 Popularize it to the people
00:05:35.200 However
00:05:36.100 Having said that
00:05:36.740 It is very possible
00:05:37.500 For somebody to get
00:05:38.320 Married without telling
00:05:39.420 Their first wife
00:05:40.040 In Islam
00:05:40.440 As an abstract hokam
00:05:41.780 Why?
00:05:42.780 Because that is
00:05:43.300 There's no prerequisite
00:05:44.900 There's no conditioning
00:05:45.780 Ishtirat 0.97
00:05:46.620 There's no conditioning
00:05:47.420 According to any of the madahid
00:05:49.220 In fact
00:05:49.660 That a man needs to tell
00:05:51.180 His first wife
00:05:52.280 Or give permission
00:05:53.940 From her
00:05:54.660 Or anything like that
00:05:55.240 Yeah
00:05:55.420 In order for him to get a second
00:05:57.020 Practically though
00:05:58.560 The issue is
00:05:59.160 If he does it
00:06:00.640 Then he must
00:06:01.240 Now
00:06:01.660 And you think about it
00:06:02.940 If it's going to be
00:06:03.660 Completely equal
00:06:04.780 Polygamy
00:06:05.640 Which is the
00:06:06.460 Hustle of the situation
00:06:07.480 Then he's going to be
00:06:09.480 Having to at least
00:06:10.220 Divide the knights
00:06:10.920 Equally
00:06:11.320 Because in polygamy 0.99
00:06:11.940 You don't have to
00:06:13.200 Divide the 0.75
00:06:13.820 Bays equally
00:06:14.460 You divide the knights
00:06:15.460 Equally
00:06:16.420 And the knights
00:06:17.380 Have a very specific
00:06:18.160 Definition from
00:06:19.020 You know
00:06:19.300 Certain times
00:06:20.660 Now what I'm saying
00:06:22.560 Is now
00:06:23.020 The second wife 0.98
00:06:23.840 For this to actually
00:06:24.540 Be feasible
00:06:25.080 Where the first wife 0.76
00:06:25.780 Doesn't know
00:06:26.280 The second wife 0.98
00:06:27.880 Must do misyar 0.99
00:06:28.600 Really
00:06:28.920 For the most part
00:06:30.060 Misyar is 0.94
00:06:30.660 A kind of marriage
00:06:32.260 Where it's
00:06:32.840 A tanazul
00:06:33.480 An ba'd al huqouq 1.00
00:06:34.460 That she is
00:06:35.880 Voluntarily
00:06:36.660 Letting go
00:06:38.160 Of some of her rights
00:06:39.320 Forgoing her rights 0.97
00:06:40.820 And so
00:06:42.100 If she does that
00:06:43.360 And for example
00:06:43.840 She says to the man
00:06:44.640 Come to me
00:06:45.500 On such and such a day
00:06:46.460 On such and such a night
00:06:47.820 Or such and such a place
00:06:48.800 This is legitimate in Islam
00:06:50.060 In fact it has an asl in Islam
00:06:51.540 The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
00:06:52.900 Sauda ibn Tizam'a
00:06:53.680 Did this with him
00:06:54.280 She let go of her knights 0.96
00:06:55.660 For Aisha radiallahu anha 0.99
00:06:56.780 So it's not
00:06:57.360 Haram
00:06:58.660 In fact
00:06:59.040 You know
00:06:59.520 It's something the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
00:07:00.580 Did himself
00:07:01.160 So the question now is
00:07:03.080 Okay you've got other issues
00:07:04.100 Like inheritance
00:07:04.900 Because
00:07:05.960 The inheritance changes
00:07:07.540 You do have to actually
00:07:08.720 Change your inheritance
00:07:09.540 It's interesting
00:07:10.480 Because Ibn Jalzi 0.99
00:07:11.060 Mentioned this in one of his
00:07:12.080 Books
00:07:12.800 But I'll mention this afterwards
00:07:13.900 Of the secret second wife
00:07:15.420 And by the way
00:07:15.860 Scholars of the past 0.90
00:07:16.560 Did this
00:07:17.020 They married a woman
00:07:18.240 Without the first wife's knowledge 0.99
00:07:19.160 Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani
00:07:20.040 Married a
00:07:20.440 The big scholar
00:07:21.780 He married a woman
00:07:23.260 Her name was Unsi
00:07:24.040 Her first wife is called Unsi 0.99
00:07:25.660 She was a scholar in her own right
00:07:26.740 Hadith scholar
00:07:27.480 And even some western academics
00:07:30.380 Have written papers
00:07:31.680 Yusuf Rapopo
00:07:32.720 Wrote a paper about
00:07:34.240 The fact that he married
00:07:36.300 A second wife 1.00
00:07:37.280 Without
00:07:37.720 The first wife knowing 1.00
00:07:38.800 And he was asking the question
00:07:39.960 Why did he feel the need to do that
00:07:41.720 He was a very
00:07:42.200 If you want to put it in
00:07:43.040 Modern day terms
00:07:44.000 High value man
00:07:45.000 Very rich
00:07:45.920 He was the biggest scholar
00:07:47.140 Of Islam at that time
00:07:47.980 But he didn't tell
00:07:48.660 His first wife
00:07:49.360 In fact there's even
00:07:50.660 Ali radiallahu anhu
00:07:52.320 Ali radiallahu anhu
00:07:53.420 Didn't get married
00:07:54.240 To a second woman 0.99
00:07:55.160 But he
00:07:55.680 There's a hadith of Buraida 1.00
00:07:56.840 Buraida 0.58
00:07:58.180 There's a hadith
00:07:59.180 Where it says
00:07:59.540 That he went into
00:08:00.760 A particular
00:08:01.840 War
00:08:04.440 Or battle
00:08:05.480 Yeah
00:08:05.900 And he took
00:08:06.980 A prisoner of war
00:08:07.920 And he took
00:08:09.500 A prisoner of war
00:08:10.240 Who's very beautiful
00:08:10.980 Buraida wanted her as well
00:08:12.100 Okay
00:08:13.220 And then he says
00:08:13.780 Literally says
00:08:14.820 It's called the khums 1.00
00:08:16.620 So in the war booty
00:08:18.220 One fifth goes to
00:08:19.320 Like let's say
00:08:20.460 The state
00:08:21.480 And then the
00:08:23.200 Ahl al-bayt
00:08:24.000 Take one fifth of that
00:08:25.140 So because Ali 0.97
00:08:26.220 Is from Ahl al-bayt
00:08:26.860 He put her
00:08:27.680 Buraida 0.58
00:08:28.580 The jaria 0.88
00:08:29.700 In the fifth that he wanted
00:08:31.420 So Buraida was very angry 1.00
00:08:33.340 Because he wanted to be with that umu 1.00
00:08:34.460 Anyway
00:08:35.780 The point is
00:08:36.260 Is that
00:08:36.560 Buraida went to the Prophet 1.00
00:08:37.360 And the Prophet
00:08:38.840 He said
00:08:39.720 He endorsed
00:08:41.720 What Ali did 0.76
00:08:42.360 The point is
00:08:43.860 Fatima could never have known 0.52
00:08:45.140 That he did that
00:08:45.760 Because it was far away
00:08:47.960 From Fatima
00:08:48.800 Yeah
00:08:49.260 It was
00:08:50.120 It was not in Medina
00:08:51.460 They were not in Medina
00:08:52.300 So you've got two things
00:08:53.480 The Prophet
00:08:53.800 Endorsed it
00:08:55.160 Obviously it could be argued
00:08:56.400 That she wasn't a wife 0.93
00:08:57.280 Nevertheless
00:08:57.940 It's still
00:08:59.500 A polygamous 0.98
00:09:00.140 Sexual relationship
00:09:00.980 And it was clear
00:09:01.520 That he'd done
00:09:01.920 A sexual relationship
00:09:02.980 With her 0.79
00:09:03.300 Because the whole discussion
00:09:04.040 About him doing
00:09:05.080 Janaba and ghusl
00:09:06.240 And all these kinds of things
00:09:07.060 Moreover
00:09:07.700 Even the Prophet
00:09:08.380 Muhammad 0.63
00:09:08.600 Sallallahu himself
00:09:09.240 I mean there's a verse
00:09:10.600 In the Quran
00:09:10.960 If no one thought
00:09:14.380 About this verse
00:09:14.960 When the Prophet
00:09:16.180 He kept a secret
00:09:18.020 From some of his wives
00:09:19.060 Some scholars
00:09:20.540 I'm not going to go
00:09:21.260 Into detail
00:09:21.640 But some scholars
00:09:22.240 Actually connect this
00:09:22.920 With an incident
00:09:23.460 With Maria the Cop
00:09:25.140 And so on
00:09:25.780 I'm not going to go
00:09:27.780 Into detail
00:09:28.100 But the idea
00:09:28.940 Of actually
00:09:29.520 Not telling your husband
00:09:31.420 Or your wife
00:09:32.040 To be fair
00:09:32.480 Because the Hadith
00:09:33.180 In Muslim
00:09:34.040 That lying is not allowed
00:09:37.220 Except for three things
00:09:38.040 One of them is
00:09:39.660 That when a man 0.95
00:09:42.820 Speaks to his wife
00:09:43.660 And in Sahih Muslim 0.92
00:09:44.780 It says
00:09:45.020 And when a wife 1.00
00:09:45.480 Speaks to her
00:09:46.040 Husband 0.89
00:09:46.760 The white lies
00:09:48.520 It doesn't have to be white 0.99
00:09:49.760 It can be a black lie
00:09:50.720 Sorry to say 0.92
00:09:51.480 This idea of white lies
00:09:53.940 It's a modern day
00:09:55.220 Thing that people say
00:09:56.060 In the classical works
00:09:57.480 There's no differentiation
00:09:59.840 There here
00:10:00.540 In the Qutub 0.95
00:10:01.420 Like for example
00:10:02.220 That's not how
00:10:02.660 People understood
00:10:03.000 It can be
00:10:03.420 You can lie
00:10:04.020 To your spouse
00:10:05.060 In this situation
00:10:06.320 The issue of this
00:10:07.240 Is that
00:10:07.580 So can they lie
00:10:09.140 In the context
00:10:09.720 Of for example
00:10:10.280 If one says
00:10:11.020 I sense that
00:10:12.180 You've got a second wife 1.00
00:10:12.980 Can he say
00:10:13.880 No I don't
00:10:15.260 Yes you can
00:10:15.680 You can say that
00:10:16.240 You can say that
00:10:16.840 I personally believe
00:10:18.160 This is
00:10:18.560 The Hadith
00:10:19.420 On the Massah
00:10:19.820 The Prophet said
00:10:22.960 You can do it
00:10:24.180 I believe
00:10:25.160 It's possible
00:10:25.940 Now
00:10:26.200 Having said this
00:10:27.220 All
00:10:27.460 I said
00:10:28.780 This is the
00:10:29.080 Abstract ruling
00:10:29.740 Yes
00:10:30.140 But in implementation
00:10:32.140 Okay
00:10:33.080 Now do
00:10:34.240 Because
00:10:34.800 Like I said
00:10:35.560 The Hakum 0.73
00:10:36.000 Can take different
00:10:36.660 Rulings
00:10:37.120 Based on a
00:10:38.480 Personal
00:10:38.680 If someone does
00:10:39.580 This
00:10:39.900 And they get
00:10:40.860 Caught
00:10:41.200 For example
00:10:41.900 Or
00:10:42.900 Something happens
00:10:43.920 Or
00:10:44.960 She just asks him
00:10:47.860 Where were you
00:10:48.240 Last night
00:10:48.740 Yeah but even that
00:10:50.380 He can lie
00:10:50.800 So you are
00:10:52.440 Allowed to lie
00:10:53.100 Anything related
00:10:53.920 To the relationship
00:10:54.700 I believe
00:10:55.740 It's not anything
00:10:56.820 Because there are
00:10:57.400 Some things
00:10:57.720 You can never
00:10:58.060 Lie about
00:10:58.340 In Islam
00:10:58.640 Yeah
00:10:59.200 For example
00:11:00.020 You can never
00:11:00.420 Lie about
00:11:00.680 The religion
00:11:01.000 Of Islam
00:11:01.360 You can never
00:11:02.620 Lie about
00:11:03.100 Something which
00:11:03.580 Relates to
00:11:03.900 The rights 0.78
00:11:04.280 Of the person
00:11:04.740 You can never
00:11:05.780 Lie about
00:11:06.140 Something that
00:11:06.460 Relates to
00:11:06.780 Vested interests
00:11:07.840 Like the children
00:11:08.340 For example
00:11:08.840 There's things
00:11:09.960 You can never
00:11:10.340 Lie about
00:11:10.720 But I believe
00:11:12.340 Yes you can
00:11:12.920 Are you saying
00:11:14.200 In the context
00:11:14.680 Of for example
00:11:15.220 It's going to
00:11:16.260 Ruin the family
00:11:17.340 Unit
00:11:17.660 So he's lying
00:11:18.180 To protect his family
00:11:18.920 Look
00:11:20.040 I'm saying to you
00:11:20.720 I don't recommend this
00:11:21.600 But we started off
00:11:23.620 By saying
00:11:24.040 That there's two things
00:11:25.000 There's one aspect
00:11:25.780 Which is jurisprudential
00:11:26.640 And another aspect
00:11:28.000 Which is
00:11:28.560 Application
00:11:29.440 Jurisprudential
00:11:30.440 The man can do it
00:11:31.160 It's up to the man
00:11:31.960 No woman can take 1.00
00:11:33.340 That right amount
00:11:33.880 Away from the man
00:11:34.800 It's impossible
00:11:35.480 So let's say
00:11:36.120 It's not that it's right
00:11:36.760 Yeah
00:11:36.920 So that Islamically 0.97
00:11:37.920 Any of us
00:11:39.540 Can get a secret
00:11:40.700 Second wife 0.98
00:11:41.220 Absolutely
00:11:41.540 Or any man
00:11:42.040 For that
00:11:42.240 Not secret
00:11:42.680 We can get
00:11:43.360 Islamically
00:11:44.400 There is no problem
00:11:45.700 In a man
00:11:46.520 Getting married
00:11:47.120 To another woman 0.98
00:11:47.840 In Misyar 0.89
00:11:48.360 Without the first wife's knowledge 0.99
00:11:49.900 However
00:11:50.560 The question is
00:11:51.320 And there's no
00:11:52.440 There's no khilaf in this 1.00
00:11:53.300 There's no
00:11:54.360 Actually
00:11:54.720 I've not seen
00:11:55.480 One solitary
00:11:56.820 Difference of opinion
00:11:57.580 In any
00:11:58.800 Of the 14 generations
00:12:00.980 That's not there
00:12:02.340 Which is
00:12:03.040 Any scholar saying
00:12:03.940 That no
00:12:04.240 A woman needs to know 1.00
00:12:05.000 She needs to tell her
00:12:05.940 It doesn't exist
00:12:06.940 Yeah that's it
00:12:07.440 Having said that
00:12:08.860 Do I recommend it
00:12:10.300 No I don't recommend it
00:12:11.240 In general
00:12:11.480 No we'll come to it
00:12:12.200 We'll come
00:12:12.420 Hold you
00:12:12.680 Why do I recommend it
00:12:14.320 Okay guys
00:12:15.560 After this show
00:12:17.100 If you see any of us
00:12:18.220 Dead
00:12:18.520 Please come to our janazah
00:12:19.480 Please make du'a for us
00:12:21.240 And Sadaqajari
00:12:21.920 Sorry perhaps one more thing
00:12:23.060 Yes please
00:12:23.420 We're talking about
00:12:24.240 The religion of Islam
00:12:25.000 Like you know
00:12:26.120 Allah says
00:12:26.540 I'm not here to
00:12:28.880 Would you respect
00:12:29.760 I don't prostrate myself
00:12:31.120 To the emotions of
00:12:32.200 Women or men 0.86
00:12:33.220 Or anyone else
00:12:33.760 I'm speaking about
00:12:34.900 The religion
00:12:35.260 This is a ruling
00:12:35.880 We cannot distort
00:12:37.780 The rulings
00:12:38.260 There's an ayah in the Quran 0.97
00:12:39.100 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.81
00:12:39.760 Says to the Prophet
00:12:40.260 That you know
00:12:41.600 Are you going to
00:12:42.500 Make something
00:12:43.320 Which is haram for you
00:12:44.280 Halal for you 0.97
00:12:45.080 Haram
00:12:45.580 Because of the fear
00:12:46.260 Of your wives 0.97
00:12:46.700 That's a very deep statement
00:12:47.920 That could be
00:12:48.660 To make your wives 0.99
00:12:50.280 Pleased with you
00:12:51.000 Exactly
00:12:51.380 Yeah so I believe
00:12:52.440 Brothers should fear Allah 1.00
00:12:53.320 More than their wives 0.99
00:12:54.060 But having said that
00:12:55.320 You guys heard it
00:12:56.040 I mean please tell me
00:12:57.580 I don't think
00:12:58.360 Let me just
00:12:58.660 I think there's
00:12:59.180 Bil-Ijma 0.99
00:12:59.620 Meaning there's consensus
00:13:00.860 That none of you guys
00:13:02.500 Are okay with your
00:13:03.180 Husbands getting a second wife 1.00
00:13:04.900 Can I just quickly
00:13:05.420 Just get that out of the way
00:13:06.120 Sister Suad
00:13:06.760 Absolutely not
00:13:08.700 You're not okay with it
00:13:09.500 Yeah
00:13:09.620 Sister
00:13:10.440 It's a no from me
00:13:11.840 And if you have anything to say
00:13:13.420 Say it now
00:13:14.080 Sister Amira
00:13:16.940 Yeah no
00:13:18.240 No
00:13:18.500 Sister Tara
00:13:19.460 I won't be happy with it
00:13:20.800 Okay she won't be happy with it
00:13:21.600 Okay now listen
00:13:22.420 I like that response
00:13:23.340 Now listen
00:13:23.700 Yeah Amir Ab listen
00:13:24.420 Now listen to us brothers
00:13:25.480 Okay starting from Dawood
00:13:26.680 Would you say you are
00:13:28.020 Polygamist by nature
00:13:28.860 Hey we had this conversation before
00:13:31.060 Can we have you on the mic please
00:13:32.020 I disagree with you
00:13:33.260 No no no
00:13:33.820 I'm just asking a simple question
00:13:34.500 Let's not go into the nitty gritty
00:13:35.300 All I'm saying is
00:13:35.980 I'm not going to say
00:13:37.140 I'm polygamist by nature
00:13:38.300 I'll say that
00:13:39.100 Bro bro bro
00:13:39.800 Let me answer the question again
00:13:41.120 Yeah
00:13:41.320 If your wife 0.58
00:13:42.980 Was totally okay with it
00:13:45.560 Yeah
00:13:45.800 Zero problems
00:13:47.500 You come back home
00:13:48.820 And she's cooking a meal bruv
00:13:50.180 You just got married
00:13:50.740 Yeah
00:13:51.120 Would you get a second wife 0.99
00:13:52.260 Yeah
00:13:52.500 Okay
00:13:52.980 No we're going to miss the brother
00:13:54.840 Because we don't want to
00:13:55.380 Look okay
00:13:58.000 We're just saying this
00:13:59.580 Within our nature
00:14:00.320 Just be careful Saj 1.00
00:14:01.700 Be careful
00:14:02.200 Just joke to Saj 1.00
00:14:02.620 Yeah 0.98
00:14:02.880 If you die we loved you 0.99
00:14:04.940 Yeah 0.99
00:14:05.160 For the cause yeah
00:14:06.180 Okay brothers
00:14:07.060 Okay
00:14:07.520 What I'm just saying is that
00:14:08.720 As a man
00:14:09.380 Would you not say you are
00:14:10.220 Polygamist by nature
00:14:10.940 It doesn't mean you have to
00:14:11.720 Act up on it
00:14:12.320 But would you not say that
00:14:14.300 Every man is polygamist 1.00
00:14:16.040 By nature
00:14:16.880 That if their wives 0.99
00:14:17.960 Were totally okay with it
00:14:19.100 No consequences
00:14:20.160 That they would do it
00:14:21.760 I don't think I would
00:14:23.700 Aww 0.78
00:14:24.500 No no no no
00:14:25.980 No no
00:14:26.560 One second one second
00:14:27.360 One second one second
00:14:27.980 One second one second
00:14:28.040 Because the thing is
00:14:29.260 I work on the doors
00:14:31.280 Guys one second
00:14:32.700 Well the thing is
00:14:33.120 I work on the doors
00:14:34.200 Because there's conflict of interest
00:14:35.220 Yeah yeah
00:14:35.740 I work on the doors
00:14:36.760 I work on the doors
00:14:38.120 Okay
00:14:38.740 The thing is
00:14:39.340 I work on the doors
00:14:40.160 Because there's so many women 1.00
00:14:40.980 Out there
00:14:41.420 But the thing is
00:14:42.140 It doesn't do nothing for me
00:14:43.400 No no we know that
00:14:44.220 Look I have no doubt about that
00:14:45.440 What I'm saying is the following
00:14:46.240 Aki yeah 0.99
00:14:46.640 The reason I'm saying this
00:14:49.180 Yeah and we need to be
00:14:49.900 Brutally honest yeah
00:14:50.880 The reason I'm saying this
00:14:51.760 You know why
00:14:52.140 Because sisters are under
00:14:53.640 The impression
00:14:54.140 That there is a man out there
00:14:56.000 That is
00:14:57.340 Not polygamous 0.92
00:14:58.420 I believe
00:14:59.260 But that's true
00:15:00.100 That can be true
00:15:01.000 Anyone that thinks
00:15:02.180 That is delusional
00:15:02.960 No it is true
00:15:03.880 Not every man
00:15:05.260 Is a polygamous 0.97
00:15:05.960 One second one second
00:15:07.500 Look let me tell you something
00:15:08.280 If they brought a lie detector test
00:15:09.800 Right now this second
00:15:11.180 No no no one second
00:15:12.200 You know why
00:15:12.760 No no no no
00:15:14.240 Listen listen listen
00:15:17.520 If they put me
00:15:18.500 Hijab 0.93
00:15:18.980 Brother Siltage
00:15:19.600 The word on lie detector test
00:15:21.020 And they said the following questions
00:15:22.500 Do you love your wife
00:15:23.940 Yes
00:15:24.600 Pass
00:15:25.260 Would you die for her
00:15:26.440 Yes
00:15:26.840 Pass
00:15:27.380 If your wife was okay
00:15:28.900 Would you get a second wife 0.99
00:15:29.660 Yes pass
00:15:30.980 There is not
00:15:32.620 A conflict between
00:15:34.000 A man loving his wife
00:15:35.660 And a man
00:15:37.160 Wanting to be polygamous 0.91
00:15:38.540 I agree
00:15:39.080 And this is very important
00:15:40.340 If we're going to
00:15:41.120 And I'm not saying
00:15:41.680 I hear you out here
00:15:42.840 But what I'm saying is
00:15:44.120 Listen listen
00:15:47.100 Let's pass you
00:15:47.720 Okay
00:15:48.000 Let's pass you
00:15:48.820 Because we're here to
00:15:49.480 Make my soul
00:15:50.260 What are you trying to say
00:15:51.300 That every man
00:15:52.160 Would want to
00:15:53.780 Yes
00:15:54.260 Men are polygamous by nature
00:15:56.020 Women are jealous by nature 1.00
00:15:57.380 I believe
00:15:57.920 Men are polygamous by nature
00:15:59.640 Thank you
00:16:00.000 They are
00:16:00.680 They are how we've are
00:16:01.780 Guys
00:16:02.420 Guys
00:16:02.920 Guys
00:16:03.300 Guys
00:16:03.920 Guys
00:16:04.160 We can hear you
00:16:04.700 Please
00:16:04.960 Please
00:16:05.380 Forgive me
00:16:06.000 Because it's coming
00:16:06.800 At the back of the mic
00:16:07.420 Please forgive me
00:16:07.920 I'm going to stop the issue
00:16:09.180 I haven't
00:16:09.500 This is
00:16:09.920 The reason why I started the show
00:16:11.580 And I called it
00:16:12.000 Bitter Truth for a reason
00:16:12.820 Is because
00:16:13.440 At the end
00:16:13.680 Look my wife is here 0.99
00:16:14.460 She's a co-producer
00:16:15.180 Okay
00:16:15.440 If I went to my wife
00:16:16.700 And said
00:16:16.960 If I got married again
00:16:17.620 She would say 1.00
00:16:18.200 Of my dick body 1.00
00:16:18.860 I don't want it 1.00
00:16:19.680 I understand that
00:16:20.920 And any woman that says 1.00
00:16:21.880 She's not
00:16:22.580 She's okay with it
00:16:23.560 I'll say
00:16:24.020 I'm so sorry
00:16:24.420 You're not
00:16:24.680 Because the best of the women 0.82
00:16:25.860 Who are believers
00:16:26.400 Smashed plates
00:16:27.600 Literally smashed plates
00:16:28.920 Yeah
00:16:29.100 Now the point is the following though
00:16:30.840 The reason you're saying that sister
00:16:32.740 Is why
00:16:33.420 Because
00:16:33.800 We as men
00:16:34.920 We are
00:16:35.580 And the studies that show this
00:16:37.120 We are created in a way
00:16:39.700 Of procreating
00:16:40.680 For example
00:16:41.320 If for example
00:16:42.960 There was four men left on earth
00:16:44.420 Yeah
00:16:44.580 And that was it
00:16:46.020 Yeah
00:16:46.180 They can start a new generation 0.72
00:16:48.020 Those four men
00:16:49.080 They can
00:16:49.440 Forgive me
00:16:50.000 Just for educational purposes
00:16:50.820 Yeah
00:16:50.960 They can impregnate 0.94
00:16:51.960 Thousands of women 0.93
00:16:52.820 That's within our nature
00:16:54.520 But if a woman 1.00
00:16:55.780 There was four women left on this planet 1.00
00:16:57.080 Yeah
00:16:57.740 They're finished
00:16:58.860 Because you're given birth
00:16:59.960 Nine months
00:17:00.460 You're out the game
00:17:01.240 So the point I'm saying
00:17:02.280 When it comes to
00:17:02.980 The evolution
00:17:03.940 And a few other factors
00:17:06.120 The point I'm trying to say
00:17:07.280 Is the following
00:17:07.680 Like you know
00:17:08.920 When it comes to survival
00:17:10.040 You have to procreate 1.00
00:17:11.400 Yeah
00:17:11.560 Every man is polygamous by nature 0.94
00:17:14.620 In the context where
00:17:15.460 Because you guys are monogamous by nature
00:17:18.200 Meaning
00:17:18.520 You are
00:17:19.080 You just want your husband 1.00
00:17:20.420 And you're happy with your husband
00:17:21.260 We are not created like that
00:17:22.840 And anyone that says
00:17:24.280 They are
00:17:24.880 Vice versa
00:17:26.280 And this is the reason
00:17:27.400 Why we started the show
00:17:28.140 Get to know us better
00:17:29.380 Understand us men
00:17:30.560 This is in our blood
00:17:31.780 Okay
00:17:32.080 Now
00:17:32.740 Coming back to you
00:17:34.300 You can just say it
00:17:35.860 Just say it
00:17:36.380 I know what you mean
00:17:38.260 No what I mean is
00:17:39.080 That in our nature
00:17:39.860 This doesn't mean
00:17:40.400 It is in our nature
00:17:41.280 Yeah
00:17:41.520 Ali can you reframe the question
00:17:43.600 Okay I'm so sorry
00:17:44.520 So can you
00:17:45.060 One second guys
00:17:46.660 One second
00:17:46.980 Guys from there
00:17:47.840 Please
00:17:48.140 You let my wife know
00:17:49.380 And then for me
00:17:49.920 And then I'll come to you guys
00:17:50.600 Can you reframe the question
00:17:52.340 To the brothers
00:17:53.260 And say
00:17:53.780 That if your wife agreed 0.63
00:17:55.880 And she's happy
00:17:56.800 Would you like to
00:17:58.940 Look I get the polygamous part 0.93
00:18:00.440 I get the whole
00:18:01.320 Wanting to have more
00:18:03.080 Intimacy with more than one woman 1.00
00:18:04.600 Yeah
00:18:04.880 But if you can ask the question
00:18:06.400 More accurately
00:18:08.120 That take on another wife 1.00
00:18:10.120 And all the responsibilities
00:18:11.300 That come with another wife 1.00
00:18:12.880 Good
00:18:13.160 How many men
00:18:14.060 Will agree to that
00:18:14.940 Good you know what
00:18:15.700 And that's
00:18:16.100 I'll tell you with my husband
00:18:18.060 He's made it very clear
00:18:19.100 In that
00:18:19.640 Yeah
00:18:19.900 That you know
00:18:20.900 The headache and the stress
00:18:22.280 Not that I give him
00:18:23.080 Headache and stress
00:18:23.880 But just he's so content
00:18:25.380 In our relationship
00:18:26.260 Okay
00:18:26.740 He wouldn't see himself
00:18:28.260 You know
00:18:28.920 Engaged in another
00:18:29.980 That because
00:18:30.480 Okay okay
00:18:31.080 Let me put this here
00:18:32.360 This is the reason
00:18:32.960 Why the topic is
00:18:33.560 Secret second wives
00:18:34.280 Is the question
00:18:35.080 That needs to be asked
00:18:35.620 Is that
00:18:36.160 Why are men
00:18:37.660 Even
00:18:38.260 Choosing
00:18:39.560 To make it secret
00:18:40.880 And the whole reason
00:18:42.320 Is because
00:18:43.320 If your husband
00:18:44.760 Is to come to you
00:18:45.480 And say
00:18:45.940 Hmm
00:18:46.960 I want to get married again
00:18:48.440 And I want to do it properly
00:18:49.800 Yeah
00:18:50.060 Now I say to the sisters
00:18:51.340 If you don't want your husband 0.93
00:18:52.980 To get a second wife 1.00
00:18:53.880 You
00:18:54.600 Tell him
00:18:55.720 That if he's going to get
00:18:56.720 A second wife 1.00
00:18:57.300 He has to do it properly
00:18:58.280 Meaning
00:18:58.700 Which is why
00:18:59.480 And let me tell you something
00:19:00.020 If you don't want your husband 0.93
00:19:00.780 To get a second wife 1.00
00:19:01.400 Implement this
00:19:01.980 Yeah
00:19:02.140 You tell him
00:19:03.180 You're going to marry her 1.00
00:19:03.860 You're going to do
00:19:04.460 A wulima for her 1.00
00:19:05.000 You're going to get her mahar 1.00
00:19:05.800 You're going to get
00:19:06.480 All of this stuff
00:19:06.980 You know what he'll say
00:19:07.460 He'll say
00:19:07.700 Bro that's long
00:19:08.520 Absolutely
00:19:09.120 But if there are men
00:19:10.700 Out there who can do that
00:19:11.760 The question I want to ask
00:19:12.900 You guys is
00:19:13.360 What is the right way
00:19:15.020 So men don't go 1.00
00:19:16.080 Behind their wives back 0.99
00:19:16.960 Why are they keeping it secret
00:19:17.940 Because they are scared
00:19:19.020 Of the consequences
00:19:19.820 Not seeing their kids
00:19:20.880 Being kicked out 0.99
00:19:21.880 Being black 0.99
00:19:22.400 These are major sins by the way 1.00
00:19:23.400 Not showing your kids
00:19:24.300 I know brothers
00:19:25.060 Who have been divorced
00:19:25.800 And not seeing their kids
00:19:26.880 Because they wanted to get
00:19:27.800 Second wife 0.98
00:19:28.340 This is dhulm
00:19:29.720 On the day of judgment
00:19:30.420 Are you mad
00:19:30.920 Something he did halal 1.00
00:19:32.220 Understand
00:19:32.680 It's emotional
00:19:33.220 You're upset
00:19:33.780 You are stopping him
00:19:35.140 From seeing his kids
00:19:35.880 You are now going to the law
00:19:37.200 Bro we had brothers here
00:19:38.220 We had fathers here
00:19:38.960 Accused of paedophilia
00:19:40.820 With their kids
00:19:41.500 Because of a bitter wife 1.00
00:19:43.160 I'm asking a simple question
00:19:44.360 I think that's
00:19:44.940 Bill Ijma here
00:19:45.540 You guys would never want it
00:19:46.780 We would definitely
00:19:48.080 But there are ways
00:19:50.220 That women 0.97
00:19:50.960 Can implement
00:19:52.020 Where a husband
00:19:53.740 Cannot
00:19:54.620 Marry a second wife 1.00
00:19:55.980 If he agrees
00:19:57.060 And signs
00:19:57.820 On the day of the nikah 0.99
00:19:59.500 He cannot
00:20:00.500 He cannot then
00:20:01.800 Go and get a secret wife 1.00
00:20:03.160 That's the hanbali madhab
00:20:03.800 But if somebody doesn't believe
00:20:04.660 That it's battered
00:20:05.200 He doesn't even acknowledge
00:20:06.200 And also
00:20:07.500 Yes yes yes
00:20:08.980 I'm going to give it to you
00:20:10.060 But after him
00:20:11.520 I want to ask you guys a question
00:20:12.500 Please can you tell us
00:20:13.460 The correct way
00:20:14.300 Of going about it
00:20:15.060 So it's not secret
00:20:15.840 But this is
00:20:17.020 What she said
00:20:17.520 There's truth in what she said 0.58
00:20:18.840 It's actually mentioned
00:20:24.340 In all the books
00:20:24.940 Of the Hanbal 1.00
00:20:25.800 Ibn Khudamah mentions that
00:20:28.060 What do you call it
00:20:29.060 Amr Dawi mentions that
00:20:29.940 Al-Hajjawi mentions it
00:20:30.640 Even Zal-Mustaqma 1.00
00:20:31.360 Amr Musa Al-Hajjawi mentions it
00:20:33.540 So many people mention it
00:20:34.420 Bahuti
00:20:34.840 So this is
00:20:36.500 What you're saying
00:20:37.260 Is legitimate
00:20:37.860 In fact
00:20:38.580 If someone puts in the contract
00:20:40.820 Maybe I should
00:20:41.580 Give in all
00:20:42.200 No you should
00:20:42.760 Give the tips
00:20:43.340 No no no
00:20:43.800 Even if she gives the brothers
00:20:45.780 It's a bitter truth
00:20:47.760 We're giving
00:20:48.180 We're giving all the
00:20:49.560 Funny enough
00:20:51.300 Funny enough
00:20:52.520 I'm Hanbali myself
00:20:53.300 I'm Maliki
00:20:55.680 But all the other
00:20:57.840 Madhaib actually
00:20:58.460 Don't agree with this
00:20:59.220 And the reason why
00:21:00.220 Is they bring it
00:21:00.740 There's a hadith
00:21:01.280 That says
00:21:02.560 That any condition
00:21:06.200 That is not
00:21:06.860 In the book of Allah 0.87
00:21:08.520 Then it's nullified
00:21:09.520 So they say
00:21:10.660 That this is a
00:21:11.500 Incorrect
00:21:12.060 So the Hanafis 1.00
00:21:12.600 Don't accept this
00:21:13.100 And Shafah
00:21:13.420 Don't accept this
00:21:14.020 And the Maliki 0.99
00:21:14.420 Don't accept this
00:21:15.060 So if the woman 0.99
00:21:15.900 Is Hanbali 0.69
00:21:16.500 For example
00:21:17.080 She puts this agreement
00:21:18.220 And he's not this thing
00:21:19.580 No but
00:21:21.720 He's not this thing
00:21:22.540 He doesn't
00:21:22.860 It's all about
00:21:23.300 What he believes in
00:21:23.900 If he doesn't believe in it
00:21:24.660 It might not be
00:21:25.680 Voracious
00:21:26.620 However
00:21:26.960 I would put to this
00:21:28.020 I would add to it
00:21:28.740 The Prophet
00:21:29.420 Did say
00:21:30.080 Muslims are upon 1.00
00:21:32.500 Their condition 0.98
00:21:33.040 Which is
00:21:34.040 All you who believe
00:21:37.300 Fulfill the contract
00:21:39.320 So if a man
00:21:40.940 Does sign something
00:21:41.560 Like that
00:21:41.980 I would personally
00:21:43.240 Believe it's an
00:21:43.720 Obligation for him
00:21:44.460 To honour that
00:21:46.300 Having said that
00:21:47.960 Once again
00:21:48.940 It goes back to
00:21:49.400 Him that he's
00:21:49.780 Following
00:21:49.980 So if he's not
00:21:50.880 Following that
00:21:51.300 Particular school of thought
00:21:52.240 If he is
00:21:53.780 If he isn't
00:21:54.280 That's something else
00:21:54.980 So that's just
00:21:56.080 I think that's a good point
00:21:57.300 Before we slide away
00:21:59.140 Because I feel like
00:21:59.900 The first question
00:22:01.200 That was asked
00:22:01.920 About
00:22:02.420 Is secret
00:22:04.780 Is it okay
00:22:05.900 To have a secret
00:22:06.520 I would love
00:22:07.460 To go back there
00:22:08.220 I mean
00:22:09.120 I think
00:22:09.500 I haven't
00:22:11.260 Personally looked into it
00:22:12.340 So I'll take your word
00:22:13.460 So I don't know
00:22:14.360 That might be
00:22:14.860 A different opinion
00:22:15.520 I don't know
00:22:16.060 I take what
00:22:17.260 Hijab said
00:22:17.900 About like
00:22:19.180 That it's
00:22:19.880 Like agreed upon
00:22:20.900 That you
00:22:21.400 You shouldn't
00:22:22.280 That it's okay
00:22:23.060 To do a secret
00:22:23.720 But I would love
00:22:24.780 To speak about
00:22:25.680 The implications
00:22:26.460 That it has a bit more
00:22:28.040 Because it's
00:22:28.840 Something I feel like
00:22:30.400 That we didn't
00:22:32.500 Really discuss
00:22:33.060 Because
00:22:33.420 Because the implication
00:22:35.280 Here is
00:22:35.840 That
00:22:36.540 The secret
00:22:38.000 Like okay
00:22:38.940 Obviously nothing
00:22:40.020 Is really secret
00:22:40.980 Again you can't
00:22:42.020 Have a secret wife 0.93
00:22:42.700 Per se
00:22:43.140 Because
00:22:43.560 Yeah it's
00:22:45.300 Marriage
00:22:46.500 In Islam
00:22:47.380 The way
00:22:47.880 It's constructed
00:22:49.600 Yeah but let's
00:22:50.320 Not sugar coat it
00:22:51.440 It's a secret
00:22:52.300 From the first wife 0.99
00:22:53.580 I'm gonna
00:22:54.280 Do you know what I mean
00:22:54.900 I'm gonna get that
00:22:55.640 I'm gonna get that
00:22:56.240 Yeah but this is
00:22:56.900 The whole thing
00:22:57.480 May I finish
00:22:58.200 May I finish
00:22:58.620 Because
00:22:59.020 You can use a buzzer
00:22:59.980 It's a secret
00:23:00.680 From the first wife 0.99
00:23:01.560 Yeah but
00:23:01.880 I'm trying to take it
00:23:03.140 Elsewhere
00:23:03.440 I'm trying to go deep
00:23:04.360 I wanna go deep
00:23:04.980 I wanna go deep
00:23:05.580 So what I'm trying to say
00:23:06.620 Is that
00:23:07.180 Islam
00:23:09.020 In the way that Islam 1.00
00:23:09.900 Has constructed marriage
00:23:11.460 Is marriage is
00:23:12.140 Like a communal thing
00:23:13.240 So
00:23:13.580 There's always
00:23:14.400 Other people involved
00:23:15.400 But
00:23:16.500 It will be a secret
00:23:18.040 To the
00:23:18.900 Person that
00:23:19.780 Matters the most
00:23:20.740 Which is the wife 1.00
00:23:21.480 Right
00:23:22.180 And I don't think that
00:23:23.900 That causes 0.52
00:23:25.540 Cohesion
00:23:26.480 In the long term
00:23:28.060 In a society
00:23:29.220 Imagine
00:23:29.620 If we were to live
00:23:30.740 In a society
00:23:31.260 Where there's a
00:23:31.760 Considerable amount
00:23:32.440 Of men
00:23:33.160 Who do this
00:23:34.320 And there's so many
00:23:35.760 Implications that
00:23:36.700 Come out of it
00:23:37.360 The children out of
00:23:38.440 Those marriages
00:23:39.040 Do they know
00:23:40.320 That they're siblings
00:23:41.100 Thank you
00:23:41.940 I'm so glad
00:23:43.020 You've mentioned
00:23:43.500 Children
00:23:44.020 Yes true
00:23:45.980 But why
00:23:46.480 Is the man
00:23:47.000 Keeping a secret
00:23:47.560 I'm just gonna finish
00:23:48.500 I'm just gonna finish
00:23:49.620 Why is the man
00:23:50.820 Keeping a secret
00:23:51.460 And I'm gonna get there
00:23:52.880 And I'm with you
00:23:53.720 On that one
00:23:54.180 I'm just saying that
00:23:55.440 For those brothers
00:23:57.000 Who do these things
00:23:58.120 You just always
00:23:58.940 You must understand
00:23:59.840 That
00:24:00.120 The pain
00:24:01.480 And
00:24:01.940 The misery
00:24:03.560 That could be
00:24:04.700 A byproduct
00:24:05.260 Of this thing
00:24:06.040 Is 0.88
00:24:06.840 Tremendous
00:24:07.680 And therefore
00:24:09.240 I wouldn't
00:24:10.280 Like I said
00:24:10.760 There's a very important point
00:24:13.360 You mentioned the kids
00:24:14.140 That's an important point
00:24:15.300 Inheritance is another
00:24:15.960 Important point
00:24:16.440 These are two things
00:24:17.100 You can't really
00:24:17.460 Because actually
00:24:18.300 The messiah thing
00:24:19.160 You cannot actually
00:24:19.820 Tenezzle
00:24:20.240 On inheritance
00:24:21.800 It's not
00:24:23.180 You cannot forego
00:24:24.740 That right
00:24:25.120 As a woman
00:24:26.160 Yes
00:24:27.060 You know you're allowed
00:24:28.100 To forego rights 0.96
00:24:28.740 You're not allowed
00:24:29.100 To forego your inheritance
00:24:30.020 So it poses an issue here
00:24:32.180 So the guy has to
00:24:33.480 Kind of put her
00:24:33.960 On inheritance
00:24:34.420 Or whatever
00:24:34.800 That's one issue
00:24:35.420 The other issue is
00:24:36.660 Like we said
00:24:37.460 The children
00:24:37.900 If there's children
00:24:39.080 From both wives 0.71
00:24:39.880 And they're in the same proximity
00:24:41.140 And there is some level
00:24:42.340 Of possibility
00:24:43.240 That they could
00:24:43.800 Co-mingle
00:24:45.240 Then that could be
00:24:46.440 Completely haram
00:24:47.240 For them
00:24:47.560 For that to happen
00:24:48.280 Because now
00:24:48.780 The implication
00:24:49.520 Is incest
00:24:50.420 And all that kind of stuff
00:24:50.960 Exactly
00:24:51.260 So this is
00:24:52.180 This is one thing
00:24:52.900 But having said this
00:24:54.540 You know
00:24:55.180 And I agree with what he said
00:24:56.500 This is
00:24:56.880 What we're talking about
00:24:57.660 Is an exceptional circumstance
00:24:58.820 That Sharia doesn't want this 0.75
00:24:59.860 It's clear that
00:25:01.100 The Sharia wants 1.00
00:25:01.920 People to know about marriages
00:25:03.460 It's clear that Sharia wants 1.00
00:25:04.920 There to be
00:25:05.500 A transparency in the equation
00:25:07.020 That everyone is given
00:25:08.080 It's clear that
00:25:08.920 The Sharia doesn't want this
00:25:10.140 It's clear that
00:25:11.280 These are the exceptional circumstances
00:25:13.000 So we shouldn't make it
00:25:13.740 The default
00:25:14.840 Having said that
00:25:16.780 Why?
00:25:17.040 We're living in an age now
00:25:18.340 Where frankly
00:25:20.300 The woman has the state backing 1.00
00:25:22.800 Like for instance
00:25:24.580 If a woman 0.96
00:25:25.060 If the woman goes 1.00
00:25:26.180 And says 1.00
00:25:26.720 That a man has raped me 1.00
00:25:28.480 Or that he has 1.00
00:25:29.400 Molested the child
00:25:30.720 Or that he's been domestic
00:25:31.880 He can
00:25:32.600 There's a chance
00:25:33.360 That he can never see
00:25:34.380 The children again
00:25:35.260 Like for example
00:25:36.560 The .gov website
00:25:37.820 I was reading recently
00:25:39.020 Just now
00:25:39.480 Like two days ago
00:25:40.640 They're now expanding
00:25:43.360 The definition of abuse
00:25:44.980 They said abuse
00:25:46.200 I can send this to you
00:25:47.060 Abuse includes
00:25:48.280 In controlling behaviour
00:25:51.240 Now controlling behaviour
00:25:52.860 What does that
00:25:53.700 It's so vague
00:25:54.460 That it actually slides into
00:25:56.400 Some of the traditionalist discourse
00:25:57.600 If you think about it
00:25:58.660 Controlling behaviour
00:25:59.860 It's said in the .gov website
00:26:01.740 That it is on par
00:26:03.060 With physical violence
00:26:04.080 And if a man does it
00:26:05.040 He can be on the sexual register
00:26:07.700 Sorry
00:26:08.220 I was on a documentary
00:26:09.740 For the BBC
00:26:10.560 And it's called
00:26:11.920 Is this coercive control
00:26:13.480 And when we speak
00:26:16.200 Of coercive control
00:26:17.260 The reason why
00:26:18.220 It can be equated
00:26:19.660 To physical violence
00:26:20.880 Is because of
00:26:22.540 The amount of damage
00:26:24.440 That can happen
00:26:25.980 Coercive control
00:26:27.100 Although it doesn't seem
00:26:29.000 Like dangerous
00:26:30.660 I know what you're saying
00:26:32.040 Of course
00:26:32.500 Amira
00:26:33.360 From what I wrote
00:26:35.080 From the document
00:26:35.600 It used two keywords
00:26:36.740 In self
00:26:38.120 Like it was self-contained
00:26:40.320 Two different sentences
00:26:41.520 Coercion was one word
00:26:42.940 And control was another word
00:26:44.860 What you're doing now
00:26:45.820 Is using both words
00:26:46.440 No but they are one thing
00:26:47.720 So coercive control
00:26:49.120 Is one
00:26:49.940 It is one
00:26:50.900 It is one
00:26:51.720 Crime
00:26:52.320 No no
00:26:52.740 The reason
00:26:53.200 They're not the same
00:26:54.080 Because in the dictionary
00:26:54.800 You'll see coercion means
00:26:55.820 To force someone to do something
00:26:56.840 Control is not necessarily
00:26:58.420 It can have a wider meaning
00:26:59.600 Right
00:27:00.040 So what I'm saying is
00:27:01.100 Controlling behaviour
00:27:02.320 You can say my mum
00:27:03.020 Had controlling behaviour of me
00:27:04.140 She was controlling
00:27:04.760 You cannot say that she had
00:27:06.380 Coercive behaviour
00:27:07.100 That means that
00:27:07.660 She forced you to do something
00:27:08.680 What I'm saying is that
00:27:10.020 We're not talking about
00:27:10.640 Forcing someone to do something
00:27:11.660 Like putting them in a house
00:27:13.440 And locking them
00:27:13.920 We are talking about
00:27:14.820 A situation
00:27:15.820 Where someone is telling
00:27:17.380 Someone else what to do
00:27:18.220 Which you can see
00:27:19.760 That leads into
00:27:20.620 Ta'a and obedience
00:27:21.600 And that kind of thing
00:27:22.240 Which that could be seen
00:27:23.220 As controlling
00:27:23.680 So what I'm saying is that
00:27:24.760 Consider the things
00:27:26.720 At the man's disposal
00:27:27.520 As a Muslim man
00:27:28.560 He's got ta'a
00:27:29.640 Okay
00:27:30.380 Ta'a means obedience 0.91
00:27:32.340 These are the things
00:27:33.780 That a man has
00:27:34.220 He's got talaq
00:27:35.300 Or she can do fash 0.90
00:27:36.260 Or he can do it quicker
00:27:37.520 Even she can do fash 1.00
00:27:39.460 Right
00:27:39.720 And then he's got
00:27:40.860 The financial thing
00:27:42.180 Where he can reduce
00:27:43.120 According to all the mudahe 1.00
00:27:44.060 I'm not sure all of them
00:27:46.380 Definitely the hamd
00:27:46.920 He can
00:27:48.300 If she's being bad
00:27:49.300 She can take money 1.00
00:27:50.080 Away from her
00:27:50.540 I'm not sure if you know this
00:27:52.420 If she's nasty
00:27:53.320 Now if you do one and two
00:27:55.340 This can be seen
00:27:56.720 In this country
00:27:57.360 As abuse
00:27:59.320 So if she has evidence of that
00:28:01.820 And she's got the stake backing
00:28:03.300 If he tries to impose
00:28:05.120 His masculinity
00:28:05.840 Or his Islamic 1.00
00:28:06.840 You know
00:28:08.040 Abilities on her
00:28:08.840 Then she can respond
00:28:09.960 In a malicious manner
00:28:11.160 Which is why I would say
00:28:12.240 That if a woman 1.00
00:28:12.800 Shows her claws in that way 1.00
00:28:14.020 Where now he's doing
00:28:15.660 What he's allowed to do
00:28:16.840 In Islam
00:28:17.180 And she's now giving him
00:28:18.420 Blackmailing
00:28:18.960 Threatening
00:28:19.320 And stuff like that
00:28:20.020 In a situation like this
00:28:21.080 I would actually recommend
00:28:22.120 For certain men
00:28:23.300 Where he feels like
00:28:24.580 If she knew
00:28:26.320 She blackmails him 0.54
00:28:27.380 If you get divorced to me
00:28:28.480 Another man will raise 0.99
00:28:29.760 Your children
00:28:30.160 Or let's say
00:28:31.040 Let me just say
00:28:31.480 For example
00:28:32.400 If you get divorced
00:28:33.880 If this happens
00:28:35.820 You'll never see
00:28:36.260 Your children again
00:28:36.880 The moment you see
00:28:38.340 A woman speaking like that 0.98
00:28:39.360 This is an option
00:28:40.640 Of secret, second
00:28:41.480 Whatever you want to call it
00:28:42.220 I think it becomes
00:28:43.040 A very religious option 0.89
00:28:44.220 And are men to blame
00:28:46.420 To go down that route
00:28:47.920 When they have wives 1.00
00:28:49.340 Who are going to
00:28:50.260 Make their life hell
00:28:51.080 So just to get back
00:28:53.360 To that point
00:28:54.000 I think
00:28:54.600 It's fine
00:28:56.060 But there's a term
00:28:59.260 In Islam
00:28:59.860 Taqabbeh 0.93
00:29:00.740 Where somebody
00:29:02.840 Is now abusing
00:29:04.200 That
00:29:04.980 And it says
00:29:06.380 I'm sure there's a hadith
00:29:07.640 It says
00:29:08.460 Where you shouldn't
00:29:09.820 Do that to your wife 1.00
00:29:11.340 For a prolonged time
00:29:13.200 And if somebody
00:29:14.240 Taqabbeh 0.93
00:29:15.260 So insulting
00:29:17.400 Or taking away
00:29:19.180 Their rights
00:29:20.020 And things like that
00:29:20.660 If somebody is abusing that
00:29:22.240 Then okay
00:29:22.980 That's one case
00:29:24.080 But of course
00:29:25.240 There are women 0.98
00:29:26.020 Out here
00:29:26.660 Who do abuse
00:29:28.100 The state backing
00:29:30.360 In regards to the children
00:29:32.440 Which I'm completely
00:29:33.500 In disagreeance with
00:29:35.100 Okay we know
00:29:35.660 But it's
00:29:35.940 Okay
00:29:36.340 So back to the
00:29:37.240 Secret, second wives 0.99
00:29:38.100 So back to the
00:29:38.360 Secret, second wives 0.99
00:29:39.940 Before you continue
00:29:42.560 I don't think
00:29:44.000 What you said
00:29:44.580 Is correct 0.95
00:29:45.400 About the taqabbah
00:29:46.960 Yani
00:29:48.320 La taqabbah al wajj 0.96
00:29:49.780 Is what you're talking about
00:29:50.680 There's only one hadith
00:29:51.580 La taqabbah al wajj 0.96
00:29:52.640 Don't hit the face
00:29:53.380 But there's
00:29:54.320 Which means
00:29:55.080 Taqabbah means
00:29:56.840 Actually
00:29:57.740 Qabiha means ugly 1.00
00:29:58.700 Qabiha means ugly thing 1.00
00:30:00.800 So taqabih means
00:30:03.000 To make something ugly
00:30:04.800 The only hadith 0.99
00:30:06.100 But there is a different meaning
00:30:07.300 For it
00:30:07.760 No, no
00:30:08.060 Taqabih
00:30:08.980 Qabiha means ugly thing 1.00
00:30:10.580 Okay
00:30:11.060 Tahseen means beautiful thing
00:30:13.200 Alright
00:30:13.840 So tahseen is beautiful
00:30:15.560 Taqabih
00:30:16.040 So taqabbah 0.67
00:30:17.220 La taqabbah al wajj 0.96
00:30:18.240 The Prophet
00:30:18.760 As-Salaam said that
00:30:19.360 Which means
00:30:19.760 Don't hit
00:30:20.460 Don't humiliate the face
00:30:22.140 You know
00:30:23.620 There's a hadith on that 0.99
00:30:24.920 But
00:30:25.080 So just
00:30:25.880 We need to be clear
00:30:26.680 Okay
00:30:26.940 Can we come back
00:30:28.040 To the topic at hand
00:30:28.740 Okay sorry
00:30:29.280 Can I make the point
00:30:30.280 So for me
00:30:31.340 I agree
00:30:32.020 Why are men going down that route
00:30:32.980 Of hiding it from their wives 0.99
00:30:35.180 Because we don't want this to be secret
00:30:36.500 I'll be honest with you
00:30:36.980 No man 0.97
00:30:37.500 Wants to keep it secret
00:30:38.520 No man wants to go do anything
00:30:39.620 Behind his wife's back 0.63
00:30:40.500 So the point is this
00:30:42.180 If we are created in this manner
00:30:43.400 You guys are created
00:30:44.340 With certain hormones
00:30:45.080 Yes
00:30:45.540 For example
00:30:46.220 Because we're learning here
00:30:47.200 Yes
00:30:47.600 You have your period
00:30:48.100 You have your menopause
00:30:48.980 You become pregnant 0.99
00:30:50.900 Etc
00:30:51.200 There are so many factors
00:30:52.440 Men don't blame women
00:30:53.940 And say
00:30:54.200 Oh you know
00:30:54.620 Why are you on your period
00:30:55.140 Why are you on menopause for
00:30:56.600 Yeah
00:30:56.960 And when it comes to intimacy
00:30:58.600 A lot of men actually feel deprived
00:30:59.940 They're partners
00:31:01.140 Just they're not as bothered
00:31:02.300 And the thing is here
00:31:03.400 That now we as men
00:31:04.420 Are men are blamed
00:31:05.580 No no
00:31:06.140 We as men are blamed
00:31:07.100 For a hormone 0.64
00:31:07.800 That we are created
00:31:08.520 We accept your hormone
00:31:09.360 You own that hormone
00:31:10.240 No problem
00:31:10.740 No intimacy for a week
00:31:12.300 No problem
00:31:13.020 Menopause
00:31:13.580 Pregnancy
00:31:14.320 It's all good
00:31:14.980 When a man has these hormones
00:31:16.620 Number one
00:31:17.180 You are not allowed to have it
00:31:18.400 Number two
00:31:19.380 If you were to go to act upon it 0.99
00:31:20.960 I'm going to make your life hell 0.81
00:31:22.180 So I'm asking a simple question
00:31:23.400 What does a man should do
00:31:25.420 Tell me
00:31:25.700 Men want to know 0.73
00:31:26.780 The correct way
00:31:27.920 Of going about this
00:31:29.120 Without making it secret
00:31:29.980 Second wife 0.98
00:31:30.380 Because to me
00:31:31.060 From my point of view
00:31:31.840 It seems like
00:31:32.480 None of the men
00:31:33.320 Want to make it secret
00:31:34.760 But the pressure
00:31:36.020 Outside pressures
00:31:37.000 From our wives
00:31:38.020 And God knows
00:31:38.840 What other elements
00:31:39.820 Is causing men 0.93
00:31:41.080 To be like
00:31:41.780 You know what
00:31:42.060 I have to go the secret way
00:31:42.880 For me
00:31:43.760 I agree
00:31:44.800 Polygamy is permissible 0.99
00:31:47.080 A man doesn't need to 1.00
00:31:49.140 You know
00:31:49.680 I can't go away from
00:31:51.060 Al-Islam
00:31:51.960 He doesn't need to tell me
00:31:54.180 Okay
00:31:54.620 But
00:31:55.320 Aside from Al-Islam 0.97
00:31:58.220 I think
00:31:59.600 My integrity
00:32:01.260 My dignity
00:32:03.300 My
00:32:04.640 You know
00:32:05.920 Who I am as a person
00:32:07.400 I would think
00:32:09.020 It's so disrespectful
00:32:10.580 For my husband
00:32:12.260 To go
00:32:13.380 And marry somebody else 0.82
00:32:15.140 Secretly
00:32:16.180 Without
00:32:16.680 Giving me
00:32:17.820 The knowledge
00:32:18.540 What about openly?
00:32:19.700 No okay wait
00:32:20.440 Can he come openly?
00:32:21.380 Before openly
00:32:22.720 If he
00:32:23.880 If we're talking about
00:32:25.100 Secret second wife
00:32:26.720 If my husband
00:32:27.920 Has gone
00:32:28.640 Behind my back
00:32:29.840 That to me
00:32:31.040 Is cheating
00:32:31.800 Even if it is
00:32:33.160 Islamically correct
00:32:34.560 However
00:32:35.220 Wait hold on
00:32:36.580 If he
00:32:37.960 Was to come to me
00:32:39.420 Prior
00:32:40.160 To
00:32:41.140 You know
00:32:42.060 Prior to
00:32:42.900 Him doing this
00:32:44.160 And having that
00:32:45.200 Conversation with me
00:32:46.260 Which
00:32:46.540 We've already
00:32:47.300 Openly discussed this
00:32:48.620 I want a second wife 1.00
00:32:50.800 Genuinely
00:32:51.480 What would you do?
00:32:52.000 We would have a conversation
00:32:53.060 I'm not
00:32:53.640 Sorry
00:32:54.160 I'm not
00:32:55.380 Somebody who's
00:32:56.420 Not understanding
00:32:57.520 However
00:32:58.380 At least
00:32:59.400 He gave me
00:33:00.220 An option
00:33:01.040 First
00:33:02.160 And he's given me
00:33:03.240 A right in a way
00:33:04.380 So I can make
00:33:05.940 An informed decision
00:33:06.960 For myself
00:33:07.840 I understand
00:33:08.160 Let's go back to
00:33:09.100 What you said before
00:33:09.760 Aside Islam 1.00
00:33:10.700 Dignity
00:33:11.120 Respect
00:33:11.440 Aside Islam 1.00
00:33:14.120 You don't have
00:33:15.080 Any of those things
00:33:15.600 Anyway
00:33:15.860 Dignity or respect
00:33:16.760 I know
00:33:17.180 I agree
00:33:17.620 So
00:33:17.780 This idea of
00:33:19.980 Aside Islam 1.00
00:33:20.580 We're Muslims
00:33:21.120 There is no
00:33:21.800 Aside Islam 1.00
00:33:22.240 In this discussion
00:33:22.840 If I was speaking
00:33:23.440 To an atheist
00:33:23.920 As I do
00:33:24.420 We can bring in 0.99
00:33:25.300 Liberalism and feminism
00:33:26.040 But I'm speaking
00:33:26.480 To a Muslim
00:33:26.900 So there is no
00:33:27.960 Aside Islam here 0.54
00:33:28.780 That's the first thing
00:33:29.720 Okay but you said
00:33:30.520 Lying is not okay
00:33:32.020 But is okay
00:33:33.340 For husband to lie 0.93
00:33:34.860 If he's lying
00:33:36.100 To me every night
00:33:36.940 We'll let you speak
00:33:38.020 Sorry
00:33:38.300 We'll let you speak
00:33:39.320 So let me just
00:33:39.820 Come back to the second point
00:33:40.860 You mentioned
00:33:41.120 You said it's cheating
00:33:41.800 You said it's cheating
00:33:43.560 Cheating is a word
00:33:45.100 It's a construct
00:33:45.700 In the English language
00:33:46.520 Which means infidelity
00:33:47.600 Usually for the most part
00:33:48.640 Right
00:33:48.840 Infidelity
00:33:49.840 For us
00:33:51.140 It means someone
00:33:51.840 Has done something
00:33:53.140 Which is one of the
00:33:54.620 Kaba'ir min adhroob 0.94
00:33:56.360 Major sins
00:33:57.060 Major sins of Islam 1.00
00:33:58.020 We cannot equate something 0.94
00:33:59.920 Which is mubash
00:34:00.700 Which is that
00:34:01.900 Sharia has not even 1.00
00:34:03.080 Put a sin on it
00:34:04.120 With something
00:34:05.160 Which is kabira min adhroob
00:34:06.520 Which means now
00:34:07.700 You're going back to
00:34:08.400 The true religion
00:34:09.520 Which I'm now expected
00:34:11.220 As a Muslim man to follow 0.99
00:34:12.100 It's not the religion of 0.97
00:34:13.140 Al-Islam
00:34:13.720 It's the religion of 0.86
00:34:14.700 Women's feelings
00:34:15.560 I'm not going to follow that religion 1.00
00:34:16.900 With respect to you
00:34:18.100 I'm not going to do
00:34:19.140 Prestoration to the
00:34:20.500 Collective hormonal
00:34:21.740 And emotional status
00:34:23.000 Of men or women 0.78
00:34:23.720 Or children
00:34:24.080 Or anybody else
00:34:24.720 I'm not going to do this
00:34:25.680 So I'm saying now
00:34:26.680 We go back to the book
00:34:27.480 And the sunnah
00:34:28.080 The question is
00:34:29.820 What exactly are we objecting to
00:34:32.720 I'm saying that
00:34:33.660 At the end of the day
00:34:34.300 Everyone here has agreed
00:34:35.440 That this is not
00:34:37.220 What Sharia wants 0.92
00:34:38.180 It's not the best case scenario
00:34:39.920 It's not the default situation
00:34:41.440 In fact
00:34:42.960 What Ali said at the end
00:34:44.220 There was a very good point
00:34:45.040 Because let's say for example
00:34:46.240 A woman withholds from the man 1.00
00:34:47.560 Section
00:34:48.400 In Islam
00:34:49.620 This is a kabira min al-kabar 0.85
00:34:50.720 It's one of the major sins of Islam 1.00
00:34:52.740 One of the heavy sins 0.81
00:34:54.520 La'na is put on it 0.99
00:34:55.580 It's not like
00:34:56.300 The angels
00:34:57.080 The angels
00:34:58.480 If the woman withholds from the man 0.97
00:35:00.240 That the angels will continue cursing
00:35:02.120 Until he works out
00:35:03.180 Now
00:35:03.900 If a woman is doing this to a man 1.00
00:35:06.200 Wallahi uqsun billah
00:35:08.040 And you know
00:35:08.660 This is my advice
00:35:09.600 This is controversial
00:35:11.080 My advice to the brother
00:35:12.440 Is to get married again
00:35:13.960 Now I'm saying that
00:35:15.260 He can either do it secretly
00:35:16.360 Without her knowledge
00:35:17.240 Or not secretly
00:35:18.440 If he knows that
00:35:19.480 She would withhold the kids from him
00:35:20.760 Use the state
00:35:21.420 Then do it without her knowledge
00:35:22.660 But I believe that's a form of abuse
00:35:24.280 When a woman 0.99
00:35:24.900 Is withholding
00:35:26.100 Just because she wants to withhold
00:35:27.440 I just want to say something
00:35:28.580 Sister
00:35:29.140 I've come across so many women 1.00
00:35:31.200 That you know
00:35:32.400 Because we're from in Pakistan
00:35:34.620 The men come in here
00:35:36.320 Because when they get married over there
00:35:38.380 They bring the men here 1.00
00:35:39.660 And they abuse him 0.83
00:35:40.800 They abuse him bad
00:35:42.200 You know what I mean
00:35:42.960 They don't let him
00:35:43.640 To do anything
00:35:44.380 They work
00:35:44.820 They take the money off them
00:35:45.940 You know
00:35:46.460 They give him nothing
00:35:47.220 You know what I mean
00:35:47.820 So the thing is
00:35:48.740 What they do
00:35:49.240 They have a secret marriage
00:35:50.600 But the way their women look at it 1.00
00:35:52.980 They're rather the man 0.57
00:35:54.420 She
00:35:54.820 Thank you
00:35:55.480 Than to get married
00:35:57.420 You know what I mean
00:35:58.000 So the thing is
00:35:58.920 They say
00:35:59.780 Commit zina 0.99
00:36:01.000 But be with your wife 0.83
00:36:02.080 You know what I mean
00:36:02.680 And this is the time we live in
00:36:04.260 You know what I mean
00:36:04.800 I agree some women 1.00
00:36:05.780 Have that mentality
00:36:06.900 No no no some women 1.00
00:36:07.620 Sister
00:36:08.100 I believe some women 1.00
00:36:09.240 Have that mentality
00:36:09.960 But
00:36:10.500 Can we go to Sister Suad
00:36:11.600 For a second
00:36:12.020 The solution is 0.96
00:36:13.240 Men need to stop being cowards 0.99
00:36:14.880 And speak to the wife 0.98
00:36:16.460 First
00:36:16.760 And tell them
00:36:17.460 One second
00:36:18.180 One second
00:36:18.400 One second
00:36:18.640 Sister Suad
00:36:19.200 I disagree with that
00:36:20.820 Before we go to Sister Suad
00:36:22.560 If your husband came to Sister Amira
00:36:24.420 May Allah bless you and your husband
00:36:25.520 And preserve your marriage
00:36:26.380 And protect you guys
00:36:28.600 You're saying if he's man enough
00:36:30.200 If your husband came to you man enough
00:36:31.680 And said to you
00:36:32.220 He wants a second wife 1.00
00:36:33.020 At least then it's not secret
00:36:34.360 I knew about it
00:36:34.960 One second
00:36:35.080 One second
00:36:35.960 It's again a bit selfish
00:36:38.660 Because you're like
00:36:39.080 I just want to know about it
00:36:40.040 Okay you know about it
00:36:40.840 What are you going to do
00:36:42.080 Are you going to say to me
00:36:42.620 Yeah you can
00:36:42.920 Thank you
00:36:43.600 We will talk about it
00:36:47.060 I think that's what we need to do
00:36:49.660 Like when you're a married couple
00:36:52.000 Every problem you have
00:36:53.720 You discuss it
00:36:55.440 So this is again
00:36:56.220 For us as women
00:36:57.060 It's a problem
00:36:57.840 And for him it's a problem
00:36:59.160 So if we sit down
00:37:00.500 And we talk about it
00:37:01.600 And I take my selfish knees out of it
00:37:04.060 I.e. me wanting him all to myself
00:37:06.780 I need to understand
00:37:07.740 That there's more
00:37:09.040 That's how Allah has made them 1.00
00:37:10.700 And Allah has opened up 0.77
00:37:11.860 Up to four wives for them 1.00
00:37:13.440 So I need to sit down
00:37:14.520 And I need to really think about
00:37:16.000 How this is going to affect him
00:37:17.940 It could lead him into doing zinna 0.97
00:37:20.400 It could lead him to do haram stuff
00:37:21.920 And I really need to understand
00:37:23.580 Do I want that for my husband
00:37:25.440 Again we need to be in a relationship
00:37:28.700 Where we're both empathetic towards each other
00:37:30.880 If we expect our husbands to understand
00:37:33.220 Oh I'm really moody because I'm on my
00:37:35.400 Oh you know I'm pregnant so I'm feeling
00:37:38.040 So if we want them to understand us
00:37:40.500 Why is it us as women 0.87
00:37:42.220 Can't return the favour and understand them
00:37:44.560 Thank you
00:37:45.280 And we're going to go to Sister Soul
00:37:46.720 She wants to ask a question
00:37:47.820 Can we get the cameras to Sister Soul inshallah
00:37:49.520 May Allah bless Sister Soul
00:37:51.640 She's one of the sisters 0.72
00:37:52.680 Who have an amazing contribution to our podcast
00:37:54.540 I disagree with some stuff she says
00:37:56.540 But I still invite her to the show
00:37:57.680 Can I do something to say
00:37:59.080 Yes it's a song
00:38:00.280 One of the things that no one is mentioning
00:38:04.120 Is the fact that alhamdulillah
00:38:05.560 We've made the point that
00:38:06.720 When obviously husbands are being denied this hack 0.98
00:38:10.480 And women are starting to threaten with the kids 1.00
00:38:12.960 And that
00:38:13.440 And they are very maybe in a situation
00:38:16.660 We get that shara'an 1.00
00:38:18.700 Like the brother Mohammed says 0.98
00:38:19.960 It's allowed
00:38:21.600 But no one is talking about
00:38:22.840 The fact that brothers are using
00:38:24.740 To treat wives 1.00
00:38:26.320 And abusing those situations 0.96
00:38:27.640 Because sometimes they are cowards 0.71
00:38:29.520 Sometimes they don't want the trouble 0.91
00:38:31.080 They don't want the wife to annoy them 0.97
00:38:32.940 Rather than going
00:38:33.900 Convincing them
00:38:34.940 Being the man
00:38:35.940 Making sure they are the right protector
00:38:37.820 Provider
00:38:38.520 Showing the wife 0.99
00:38:39.560 They are able to take care of two families
00:38:41.800 They would rather
00:38:43.220 Let's just be honest
00:38:44.280 Pay no rent
00:38:45.660 And grab a second wife 0.99
00:38:46.940 Good good
00:38:48.720 Okay good good
00:38:49.500 I'm going to come to it
00:38:50.680 One second
00:38:50.880 I'm going to come to it
00:38:51.640 I'm going to come to it
00:38:52.460 Just a quick thing yeah
00:38:53.420 But I'm going to
00:38:54.600 You know who I'm going to blame
00:38:55.680 In this very instance
00:38:56.440 I'm going to blame the sisters 1.00
00:38:57.520 Because
00:38:58.180 I'm so sorry
00:38:59.360 Not everybody yeah
00:39:00.220 That
00:39:00.840 There was a statement that was made
00:39:02.300 I saw on Instagram
00:39:02.820 It said when a woman is divorced 0.98
00:39:04.640 She's not divorced
00:39:05.860 She's divorced by her husband
00:39:07.160 Not divorced by the ummah
00:39:08.620 And when I said the sister was like
00:39:09.840 Yeah so true
00:39:11.180 And I was like
00:39:12.060 Yeah sister
00:39:12.820 You know you
00:39:13.300 Would you share your husband
00:39:14.080 Oh what happened
00:39:15.220 Your face
00:39:15.560 You start crying
00:39:16.160 What happened she's not divorced by the ummah
00:39:17.580 Are you not a part of the ummah
00:39:18.580 So the question is this
00:39:19.900 Sisters are self-sabotaging 1.00
00:39:21.300 The other sisters
00:39:21.900 Feminist sisters
00:39:23.000 Who love their sisters
00:39:23.820 Who will die for their sisters
00:39:24.960 Who take a bullet for their sisters
00:39:26.300 But will not share their husbands 0.99
00:39:27.360 For their sisters
00:39:27.940 So the point is this
00:39:29.400 You know let me be real yeah
00:39:30.280 If you love your
00:39:31.080 If you've got a good husband
00:39:31.940 By the way
00:39:32.420 I'm not talking about these guys
00:39:33.380 Who don't pray 0.95
00:39:33.800 Jahil clowns yeah 1.00
00:39:35.040 Who don't pray 0.99
00:39:35.720 Who oppress their wives
00:39:36.600 A good man who practices
00:39:37.880 Who fears Allah
00:39:38.580 Who's good to his wife 0.97
00:39:39.340 Takes care of his wife
00:39:40.220 He comes and he says
00:39:41.460 I want a second wife 1.00
00:39:42.500 All hell breaks loose
00:39:44.180 And then we blame this man
00:39:45.420 Yeah but why are you keeping it secret
00:39:46.920 What else should he do
00:39:48.000 Dawood
00:39:48.600 Can I make a point
00:39:49.480 Sorry just on that
00:39:50.580 Before I lose it
00:39:51.880 So
00:39:52.800 As Muslim men
00:39:54.740 We understand
00:39:56.220 The khayrah 0.70
00:39:57.260 That the woman has 0.99
00:39:58.300 Yeah
00:39:58.680 We know that the best of us
00:40:00.560 Women 1.00
00:40:01.000 Broke plates
00:40:02.520 Like you mentioned
00:40:03.640 Ali
00:40:04.060 These were a few hadiths
00:40:04.840 So
00:40:04.980 Yeah a few hadiths
00:40:06.480 But we understand that
00:40:08.040 It wasn't a constant thing
00:40:09.820 No but we
00:40:10.460 We understand that
00:40:11.660 This was
00:40:12.100 This is a painful thing
00:40:13.560 And men
00:40:14.440 You guys understand it more
00:40:15.980 That it may hurt the wife
00:40:17.960 Okay
00:40:18.620 So
00:40:19.440 You know that
00:40:20.500 The reaction is always
00:40:21.700 Going to be tough
00:40:22.600 So this is why we say
00:40:24.860 It's cowardice
00:40:26.380 And cowardly
00:40:28.260 When a man 0.56
00:40:29.160 Sorry to cut your name
00:40:30.120 Why do we need to bring names into it
00:40:31.700 Why do we have to call it cowardly
00:40:32.120 Because it is
00:40:33.060 It's cowardly
00:40:34.240 When a man
00:40:34.960 Doesn't go to his wife 0.96
00:40:36.900 To tell her
00:40:37.540 Because he's afraid
00:40:38.660 Of that reaction
00:40:39.940 She's just afraid
00:40:41.600 Of the reaction
00:40:44.200 He's just afraid of the reaction
00:40:44.500 Allah is telling us 0.97
00:41:01.080 What the Prophet S.A.W. did 1.00
00:41:01.920 Yeah
00:41:02.220 The Prophet S.A.W. 0.92
00:41:05.600 This is in the Quran
00:41:06.320 You're reading it
00:41:06.860 You're going to read it in Ramadan 1.00
00:41:07.480 He hid
00:41:09.220 He done sir
00:41:10.200 Which means
00:41:11.000 He hid information
00:41:12.240 From part of his wives 0.81
00:41:13.720 And told other parts of his wives
00:41:14.960 Now
00:41:15.720 He told even
00:41:16.660 He went to those wives 1.00
00:41:17.560 That he hid the information
00:41:19.040 He said
00:41:19.280 Do not tell these other wives 0.98
00:41:20.680 Do you see what's happening here
00:41:22.360 Now
00:41:23.140 Let me make it even more controversial
00:41:24.680 Some
00:41:25.900 Yeah
00:41:26.200 Some people in tafsir
00:41:27.580 Yeah
00:41:28.440 There's two
00:41:29.020 Riwayas
00:41:29.760 What is this talking about
00:41:31.160 You might know
00:41:32.140 The honey story
00:41:32.960 Yeah
00:41:33.180 The honey story
00:41:34.100 When Aisha 0.98
00:41:34.620 Radhaan
00:41:35.020 Hafsa
00:41:35.440 They conspired
00:41:36.860 This is the most famous opinion
00:41:38.460 Opinion of Ibn Kathir
00:41:39.680 But there's another opinion
00:41:41.120 Which is that actually
00:41:41.980 The Prophet S.A.W. took 0.99
00:41:42.980 Maria al-Qibdiyya
00:41:43.840 He took her to the bed of Hafsa 0.99
00:41:45.720 And he had intercourse with her 0.91
00:41:47.780 On her night 0.97
00:41:48.800 In her house
00:41:50.020 And then this is what
00:41:51.860 The Prophet S.A.W. told her
00:41:52.800 Don't tell the other ones
00:41:54.620 I can understand the logic
00:41:58.420 Is the Prophet S.A.W. a coward 0.95
00:42:00.540 No 0.96
00:42:01.060 If the Prophet S.A.W. is a coward 0.98
00:42:03.040 It's not a coward
00:42:03.860 In that case
00:42:05.960 We're saying that
00:42:06.740 To hide information
00:42:08.520 From some of the wives
00:42:09.560 Is not cowards
00:42:10.940 If you accuse this
00:42:12.640 If you want to use this word
00:42:14.220 Cowardice
00:42:14.700 To describe
00:42:15.400 Hiding information
00:42:16.620 From some of the wives
00:42:17.480 Then you'll be implicating
00:42:18.640 The Prophet S.A.W. number one 0.98
00:42:19.520 No
00:42:19.880 Number two
00:42:21.660 Let me just finish
00:42:22.420 I'm not saying you're
00:42:23.380 I'm just saying
00:42:24.820 This is the implication
00:42:25.920 I say that this is the bait 1.00
00:42:27.820 That a stupid man will take 1.00
00:42:29.660 When 1.00
00:42:31.160 For example
00:42:32.280 His wife is already
00:42:34.220 Threatening him
00:42:34.860 Blackmailing him
00:42:35.900 And doing this kind of thing
00:42:36.600 He knows
00:42:37.480 That the state
00:42:38.700 Has got her backing
00:42:40.100 In those situations
00:42:41.520 Where you can see her claws 0.99
00:42:42.580 And her malice 0.99
00:42:43.140 For her to call you a coward 0.66
00:42:44.740 And stuff like that 0.79
00:42:45.360 I would say to the brothers
00:42:46.440 That want to do
00:42:47.460 Polygamy
00:42:48.160 And not let the first wife 1.00
00:42:49.260 Do never fall for that bait
00:42:50.540 Ever
00:42:50.800 So in fact
00:42:52.560 There is a hikmah 1.00
00:42:54.620 There is a hikmah 1.00
00:42:55.900 In not telling your spouse
00:42:57.000 Something sometimes
00:42:57.740 I understand that
00:42:58.840 I understand the logic
00:43:00.200 Because I'm a logical thinker
00:43:01.540 Having said that
00:43:02.100 I'm not saying that
00:43:02.680 This is the rule
00:43:03.260 I'm still telling you
00:43:04.760 That this is the exception
00:43:05.460 But it's the exception
00:43:06.840 For whom
00:43:07.320 Because we're living in an age
00:43:09.320 Where there is a
00:43:10.400 Pandemic now
00:43:11.380 Of women using 0.98
00:43:12.480 Their children
00:43:13.380 Weaponising them
00:43:14.240 Against their husbands 1.00
00:43:15.340 Saying you can never
00:43:16.240 See your children again
00:43:17.080 You will never be able
00:43:17.900 To see them again
00:43:18.400 And it happens
00:43:19.000 We've seen them
00:43:19.920 Some of them commit suicide
00:43:21.040 Some of them
00:43:21.740 We had them on the show
00:43:22.360 One was about to cry
00:43:23.420 So many of them
00:43:25.120 It's becoming too much
00:43:26.000 So I'm saying that
00:43:27.040 Instead of doing
00:43:27.820 Domestic violence
00:43:28.700 Instead of doing things
00:43:29.880 Which will get you
00:43:30.640 A record in this country
00:43:32.260 Ruining your life
00:43:33.320 Do this
00:43:34.180 This for me
00:43:35.260 I believe that
00:43:35.800 This is a better option
00:43:36.820 Yeah
00:43:37.500 Than going into
00:43:38.600 All these things
00:43:39.180 Which the woman 0.92
00:43:39.700 Is going to put you
00:43:40.140 In the prison
00:43:40.520 Because she has so much
00:43:42.020 That particular woman 0.74
00:43:44.340 Which in my opinion
00:43:45.340 Is the minority of women
00:43:46.260 Majority of Muslim
00:43:47.240 Thank you
00:43:47.860 Thank you
00:43:48.580 I believe it's
00:43:49.480 Minority of women
00:43:50.080 If it's 5% of them
00:43:51.500 Or 10
00:43:51.820 I don't know how many of them
00:43:52.600 But they're willing
00:43:53.580 To go down
00:43:54.120 There is a minority of women
00:43:55.000 Minority of minority of women
00:43:56.080 But for those women
00:43:57.460 This should apply
00:43:58.340 Or at least it's an option
00:43:59.500 For the man
00:43:59.900 I disagree
00:44:00.700 I wouldn't say
00:44:01.580 It's majority of women 1.00
00:44:02.460 I wouldn't say
00:44:02.800 It's minority of women 0.89
00:44:03.520 It's just a thing of
00:44:04.880 The moment you come to your wife 0.66
00:44:06.200 And say I want a second wife 1.00
00:44:07.160 Then you will realise
00:44:08.060 If that minority 0.99
00:44:09.320 Is a majority 0.96
00:44:09.880 Yeah
00:44:11.520 I'm going to go to
00:44:12.240 Sister Suad
00:44:12.760 Just a few disclaimers here
00:44:14.340 When we're talking about
00:44:15.680 This topic
00:44:16.040 Some people come and say to me
00:44:16.820 Bruv why are you so obsessed
00:44:17.720 People come to me and go
00:44:18.500 Bruv Ali
00:44:18.780 Why are you so obsessed
00:44:19.260 With this polygamy thing 1.00
00:44:19.960 Yeah
00:44:20.120 Okay
00:44:20.540 Even my wife says
00:44:21.220 Why are you so obsessed with it
00:44:22.180 Yeah
00:44:22.300 The reason I say is
00:44:23.840 Wallahi billahi
00:44:24.980 Wattillahi 0.86
00:44:25.380 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.81
00:44:26.060 Is my witness
00:44:26.460 Yeah
00:44:26.640 Okay
00:44:26.960 The reason I say is bro
00:44:28.600 I hear stories
00:44:29.800 This is breaking the family unit
00:44:31.600 There are men
00:44:32.420 Like you said bro 0.99
00:44:33.200 And I'll call them cowards 0.98
00:44:34.420 Who would rather make their wife happy 0.96
00:44:36.600 At the displeasure of Allah
00:44:38.160 Yeah 1.00
00:44:38.760 A coward 1.00
00:44:39.480 The biggest coward ever 1.00
00:44:40.580 That would go and commit zina 1.00
00:44:42.140 Adultery 0.90
00:44:43.140 At the cost of my wife 1.00
00:44:44.700 You are the biggest simp ever 0.91
00:44:46.220 With a capital S 0.95
00:44:47.100 Yeah
00:44:47.660 Especially if you have the option
00:44:49.260 To marry
00:44:49.880 Exactly
00:44:50.500 And the thing is
00:44:51.220 You fear your wife so much
00:44:52.420 So the reason I'm talking about this
00:44:53.780 Is because I see family units
00:44:55.300 Breaking down
00:44:56.380 Wallahi billahi wattillahi
00:44:58.540 This is the reason why
00:44:59.700 I'm doing this show
00:45:00.440 Yeah
00:45:00.620 Yes as a man
00:45:01.320 You might be like
00:45:01.780 Yeah because you're a man
00:45:02.680 You want
00:45:02.940 Wallahi
00:45:03.580 The reason I do is
00:45:04.680 Because I see the breakdown
00:45:05.700 Of the family unit
00:45:06.760 And why
00:45:07.500 Because men
00:45:08.060 Like our dear sister said
00:45:09.060 Your wife
00:45:09.520 May Allah bless her
00:45:10.180 Why would
00:45:11.160 Would a man really want that
00:45:12.740 You need to understand our sister
00:45:14.620 If we understand each other better
00:45:16.540 Our biology
00:45:17.180 The way we think
00:45:18.000 Psychology
00:45:18.560 Marriages will improve 0.93
00:45:20.220 Sister Swad
00:45:21.320 And just following off
00:45:22.460 What you said
00:45:23.120 I think that's the very
00:45:24.300 A good point that you just made
00:45:26.240 Us understanding each other's
00:45:27.540 Biology
00:45:28.060 And when
00:45:30.020 So you know
00:45:30.740 You were saying about 0.98
00:45:31.640 He's a coward 0.99
00:45:32.840 For coming at you 1.00
00:45:35.220 And saying that he wants
00:45:35.880 A second wife 1.00
00:45:36.440 I don't know 0.98
00:45:36.960 I said he's a coward
00:45:38.540 If he doesn't come to me 0.99
00:45:40.780 As a wife
00:45:42.440 I think that is very cowardly
00:45:43.800 But this is the thing
00:45:44.460 This is the logical thinking
00:45:46.160 In a man's head 0.97
00:45:48.420 He's weighing up
00:45:49.620 The pros and cons
00:45:50.700 He knows you as his wife
00:45:52.200 He knows how you are going to react to that
00:45:54.880 Based on other conversations you had
00:45:57.020 So I don't think it's cowardice for him
00:45:59.620 To say
00:46:00.080 Actually it's not worth me
00:46:01.840 Having this headache
00:46:02.720 It's not worth me
00:46:03.700 Blowing up my family
00:46:04.820 And for men
00:46:05.800 It's a lot worse
00:46:06.900 You know
00:46:07.180 If you guys were to get divorced
00:46:08.820 And you know
00:46:09.280 I'm not saying it for you
00:46:10.280 But if a man or woman
00:46:12.760 Were to get divorced
00:46:14.320 It's more
00:46:15.620 The man that has to
00:46:17.420 That the courts come heavily down on
00:46:21.020 50%
00:46:22.080 But isn't it more of a task
00:46:24.500 To be lying to your wife 0.78
00:46:26.620 Who you're with
00:46:27.380 One second
00:46:27.720 One second
00:46:28.200 One second
00:46:29.600 Sister Swaz
00:46:30.180 But why is he doing it
00:46:31.200 One second
00:46:31.700 Sister Swaz
00:46:32.300 Still got
00:46:32.760 She's got 30 seconds 1.00
00:46:33.560 And the reason why he's doing it
00:46:35.580 Is because he doesn't feel confident
00:46:37.220 In us as women 0.68
00:46:39.000 To be able to have a
00:46:40.240 Logical conversation
00:46:41.580 We're very emotional
00:46:42.600 So instantly
00:46:43.540 We hear second wife 1.00
00:46:44.540 And me included
00:46:45.560 Our jealousy goes straight through the roof
00:46:47.460 We don't want to hear anything else
00:46:49.140 You've got to say
00:46:49.840 Whereas he's sitting there
00:46:51.300 With a logical mind
00:46:52.300 So then you've got two
00:46:53.300 Illogical minds if you like
00:46:55.100 Because I'm emotional
00:46:55.980 And he's just like
00:46:56.640 Look
00:46:56.860 It's from A to B
00:46:58.640 And I'm going
00:46:59.480 You know
00:46:59.800 Well what about C, D, E
00:47:00.900 And you know
00:47:01.280 Going round the circles
00:47:02.300 And that's where the problem comes
00:47:04.040 So he's thinking
00:47:04.680 Rather than dealing with this headache
00:47:06.640 Let me just go do what I want to do
00:47:08.460 And that's where we have to take
00:47:09.760 Accountability
00:47:10.380 As women
00:47:11.640 Like we have to be accountable
00:47:13.460 For our husbands
00:47:14.840 Having to lie to us
00:47:16.440 Because we can't have that
00:47:17.820 Logical conversation
00:47:18.980 With them
00:47:19.200 So it should be a case by case
00:47:21.020 But also as a mother
00:47:22.300 Like I feel like
00:47:23.860 Yes your husband has his
00:47:26.540 His needs
00:47:27.300 And his wants
00:47:27.840 And his desires
00:47:28.480 And you might not be fulfilling that
00:47:30.100 But I would expect my husband
00:47:31.740 To put my children
00:47:32.840 Before all of that
00:47:35.480 Personally
00:47:36.300 But sister
00:47:36.940 But my dear sister
00:47:39.040 One second
00:47:39.380 Okay we're going to go to
00:47:40.040 But my dear sister
00:47:40.820 What you said
00:47:41.180 May Allah bless you
00:47:41.740 Preserve you
00:47:42.220 Thanks for coming
00:47:43.860 But look at what
00:47:45.060 Imagine
00:47:45.620 Imagine a man
00:47:46.960 Imagine your husband
00:47:47.700 Coming and saying
00:47:48.320 That you have a hormonal need
00:47:50.280 Whatever it may be
00:47:50.980 And he's like
00:47:52.140 You need to put me
00:47:53.440 The kids above
00:47:54.380 And you're like
00:47:54.860 I can't help it
00:47:56.620 And you're like
00:47:57.180 No but if you have
00:47:57.940 So what I'm saying
00:47:58.640 Is just so you can understand
00:47:59.580 Is better my dear sister
00:48:00.760 Is that
00:48:01.500 If he said that
00:48:02.780 Wallahi
00:48:03.300 The feminist would be 1.00
00:48:04.040 In his house
00:48:04.480 With stones
00:48:04.900 Rocking
00:48:05.260 Yeah
00:48:06.520 So the thing is
00:48:07.520 I understand where you're
00:48:08.260 Coming from
00:48:08.660 100%
00:48:09.280 I hear you out
00:48:10.100 But
00:48:10.820 We are created in a way
00:48:12.520 Where we are being
00:48:13.520 Attacked with something
00:48:14.360 That is in our body
00:48:15.320 That we cannot help
00:48:16.560 But
00:48:17.740 Okay we're going to go to Ta'ud
00:48:19.680 Then sister Ira
00:48:20.320 Wants to ask a question
00:48:20.980 There
00:48:21.440 No no
00:48:21.980 She pressed the buzzer
00:48:22.880 She pressed the buzzer
00:48:23.680 Sister Tahira
00:48:24.880 You've got one and a half minutes gone
00:48:27.720 I think
00:48:28.280 Definitely as women 0.99
00:48:29.840 Muslim women 0.79
00:48:30.500 In living in the west
00:48:32.120 We need to
00:48:33.140 Take that
00:48:34.660 Ownership on
00:48:35.660 Like
00:48:36.140 Sister
00:48:36.980 At the end said
00:48:37.740 That if your husband
00:48:38.980 Is worried to speak to you
00:48:40.520 Then
00:48:41.100 You know
00:48:41.720 Over this matter
00:48:42.460 Then number one
00:48:43.320 There's
00:48:43.560 You know
00:48:43.940 Something quite deep
00:48:44.760 Between your relationship
00:48:46.060 Where if something
00:48:47.320 Deeply disturbs you
00:48:48.540 As a spouse
00:48:49.180 You should be able to seek
00:48:50.300 Counsel in your husband
00:48:51.440 And vice versa
00:48:52.200 Now if you've overreacted
00:48:54.600 In other things
00:48:55.560 You know
00:48:56.320 It could be something
00:48:57.060 He's
00:48:57.840 I don't know
00:48:58.460 His eyes
00:48:59.060 Gazed away
00:48:59.960 You know
00:49:00.380 Momentarily
00:49:00.960 And you picked that up
00:49:01.880 And you threw a big
00:49:02.640 You know
00:49:03.260 A fuss about it
00:49:04.120 There's no way
00:49:05.080 He's going to feel
00:49:05.640 Comfortable enough
00:49:06.340 To come and speak to you
00:49:07.300 About that
00:49:07.580 So I definitely think
00:49:08.540 As women
00:49:08.920 We need to take that
00:49:09.820 Responsibility on
00:49:11.140 That if our husband 0.94
00:49:12.180 They're not
00:49:13.120 They don't feel comfortable
00:49:13.840 Enough to talk to us
00:49:14.780 Then it's something
00:49:15.620 About our approach
00:49:16.740 And how
00:49:17.240 We've handled
00:49:18.400 You know
00:49:19.600 Situations
00:49:20.700 Or scenarios
00:49:21.840 Around that case
00:49:22.760 I think another thing
00:49:24.220 Really really important
00:49:25.300 Is if a sister
00:49:27.100 My advice would be
00:49:27.940 To all sisters
00:49:28.440 That if you find yourself
00:49:29.360 In a position
00:49:29.900 Where your husband
00:49:31.260 Has expressed
00:49:31.980 30 seconds
00:49:32.560 That he
00:49:33.200 He wants to get married again
00:49:34.700 And you know
00:49:35.920 Not necessarily
00:49:36.600 Seeking your permission
00:49:37.700 But more of an
00:49:38.760 Informed
00:49:40.200 You know
00:49:40.680 Informing you
00:49:41.480 That it's something
00:49:42.740 You have to
00:49:43.720 You know
00:49:45.100 Reflect on yourself
00:49:46.220 And prepare yourself
00:49:47.320 Exactly
00:49:47.620 And reflect on yourself
00:49:49.100 All these years
00:49:50.420 I have enjoyed
00:49:51.400 A blessed marriage
00:49:52.220 And that
00:49:52.640 You know
00:49:53.300 I'm one to one
00:49:53.980 With my husband
00:49:54.620 But now my reality
00:49:55.600 Is going to be different
00:49:56.280 I'm going to be tested
00:49:57.020 On my emotions
00:49:58.280 On my jealousy
00:49:59.120 On my connections
00:50:00.460 With Allah
00:50:01.000 On how I react
00:50:01.940 To scenarios
00:50:02.600 So it's a personal journey
00:50:04.240 That the woman
00:50:04.800 Needs to consciously
00:50:05.760 Embark in
00:50:06.540 And feel like
00:50:07.520 This is a test
00:50:08.380 To see how
00:50:08.940 Allah is testing her 1.00
00:50:10.040 To see how she responds
00:50:11.000 If she decides
00:50:12.520 To do the opposite
00:50:13.280 Which is
00:50:13.840 You know
00:50:14.800 Throw the divorce card
00:50:16.740 Or throw this card
00:50:17.720 Then ultimately
00:50:18.800 She's falling into
00:50:19.780 The act of disobedience
00:50:20.680 Thank you
00:50:21.120 But look how productive
00:50:22.840 It is
00:50:23.060 We're trying to understand
00:50:23.680 Each other
00:50:23.940 We're trying to learn
00:50:24.440 No one's blaming
00:50:24.960 No one else
00:50:25.400 We're just trying to
00:50:26.040 Understand each other
00:50:26.600 Better
00:50:26.800 So
00:50:27.480 As hearing
00:50:29.800 The sisters
00:50:30.580 What they said
00:50:31.140 Right now
00:50:31.640 It's quite a contrast
00:50:32.920 Because at the beginning
00:50:33.700 They were like
00:50:34.100 Over my dad buddy
00:50:34.960 So
00:50:35.360 I still stand
00:50:37.560 I'm just saying
00:50:39.680 I feel like I'm the only one
00:50:41.340 I feel like I'm less
00:50:42.520 The only one
00:50:43.340 Who's like
00:50:43.800 Do not even think about it
00:50:45.520 I'm just saying
00:50:46.160 In response
00:50:46.600 That's what the person said
00:50:47.320 I'd rather love
00:50:48.220 I'd rather love
00:50:49.240 My first
00:50:50.240 Yeah
00:50:50.600 Oh
00:50:51.680 Look
00:50:52.040 It's like the sense
00:50:53.280 Of what I'm about to say
00:50:54.120 The sense of what I'm about to say
00:50:55.760 So in response
00:50:56.700 Because there was a lot of like
00:50:57.820 A very long monologue
00:50:59.080 That was given here
00:50:59.840 And I'm sure the husbands
00:51:00.700 Are watching this
00:51:01.380 So
00:51:02.100 In a way
00:51:03.220 You're giving ammunition
00:51:04.000 To your husbands
00:51:04.740 Because they're hearing you out
00:51:06.000 But
00:51:06.180 But what I'm trying to say
00:51:07.640 I totally agree
00:51:08.520 With what the sisters are saying
00:51:09.300 By the way
00:51:09.720 So like
00:51:11.500 There's an attempt right now
00:51:12.960 Sort of like
00:51:13.820 There's this guy called
00:51:15.040 Destin
00:51:15.420 That's this guy
00:51:16.660 YouTuber
00:51:17.280 And
00:51:18.220 He's known to be
00:51:19.740 Like a debater
00:51:20.420 Whatever
00:51:20.740 And like
00:51:21.860 There is like
00:51:22.780 An attempt right now
00:51:23.860 Like in the western world
00:51:24.960 To like normalize
00:51:26.060 Open relationships
00:51:27.360 Where like
00:51:29.040 So
00:51:29.740 For those who don't know
00:51:30.840 What that is
00:51:31.240 It's like
00:51:31.780 Where
00:51:32.220 Female 0.86
00:51:33.100 And the husband
00:51:34.140 Both are
00:51:35.640 In agreement
00:51:37.360 To
00:51:37.880 Have 0.82
00:51:38.780 Sexual
00:51:39.280 Relationships
00:51:40.060 Outside
00:51:41.020 Their marriages
00:51:42.540 So there's an attempt
00:51:43.640 To normalize this
00:51:44.520 And you see that
00:51:45.360 A lot of like
00:51:45.880 Even the non-Muslims 1.00
00:51:46.780 Are like
00:51:47.120 Not down with that
00:51:48.240 What I'm trying to say
00:51:49.700 Is that
00:51:50.040 I think
00:51:50.540 If you look at places
00:51:51.800 Like Yemen 1.00
00:51:52.300 I saw this video
00:51:53.100 It's funny
00:51:53.560 There's this guy
00:51:54.220 He's on a compound
00:51:55.040 And there's this white guy
00:51:56.400 Next to him
00:51:56.940 And he goes like
00:51:57.500 How many wives do you have? 1.00
00:51:58.680 And he goes like
00:51:59.100 I don't know
00:51:59.740 He had
00:52:00.220 Loose of women 1.00
00:52:00.880 There is an opinion
00:52:06.260 That says you can have
00:52:06.980 Nine wives 0.98
00:52:07.580 And this is the opinion
00:52:08.540 Of Ibn Hazm 0.98
00:52:09.240 Yeah let's go
00:52:09.980 Let's go to it
00:52:10.880 After
00:52:11.100 In response
00:52:14.140 Very strong opinion
00:52:15.140 Honestly
00:52:15.800 I'm not saying
00:52:16.900 It's the right one
00:52:17.380 I believe in four
00:52:18.160 But he says
00:52:19.100 Methna 0.92
00:52:19.380 I believe in four as well
00:52:20.500 Because he said
00:52:21.100 Methna two 0.93
00:52:21.760 Add three
00:52:22.440 Add four
00:52:23.040 And also
00:52:24.720 He's nine
00:52:25.220 And then if you add
00:52:25.980 If you add
00:52:26.880 The fact that
00:52:27.400 The prophet has had 0.95
00:52:28.780 Nine at the same time
00:52:29.520 Yeah
00:52:29.740 Exactly
00:52:30.700 And we're just
00:52:31.400 To touch upon
00:52:31.980 We're just going to say something
00:52:33.160 And by the way
00:52:33.760 Isn't it interesting
00:52:35.100 The ayah in the Quran 0.85
00:52:35.960 Starts with
00:52:36.680 Marrying twos 0.74
00:52:37.880 Threes and fours
00:52:39.240 And the scholars say
00:52:40.260 That the fact that
00:52:41.080 Allah started with two 1.00
00:52:41.860 Not one
00:52:42.280 Because it says
00:52:42.780 Marrying twos 0.74
00:52:43.340 Threes and fours
00:52:44.120 If you can't be
00:52:45.220 Just marry one 1.00
00:52:45.900 Meaning
00:52:46.180 The default position
00:52:47.200 Is every man
00:52:47.720 Should have two wives 1.00
00:52:48.420 And when he's like
00:52:49.200 Nah this is too much for me
00:52:50.380 Then have another wife 0.90
00:52:51.180 But one wife
00:52:51.820 Yeah
00:52:52.500 So the guy responds
00:52:53.780 And laughs at him
00:52:54.600 He's like
00:52:55.000 How many wives do you have? 1.00
00:52:55.880 He goes like
00:52:56.140 I have one
00:52:56.600 And he starts laughing
00:52:57.580 Please come to my janitor
00:52:58.480 Guys
00:52:58.760 He's on a compound
00:52:59.680 And his wives
00:53:00.340 Are all seeing this
00:53:01.140 So what I'm trying to say
00:53:02.220 Is I think it's a cultural thing
00:53:04.020 Because and I said this
00:53:05.140 Before last time
00:53:05.980 In the African American community
00:53:07.880 Amongst the Muslims 1.00
00:53:08.860 It seems to be 0.99
00:53:10.400 That polygyny
00:53:11.620 Is more accepted
00:53:12.680 And this is something
00:53:13.800 They discuss
00:53:14.420 And this is something
00:53:15.040 It's a reality
00:53:15.820 Because of the
00:53:17.340 The equation
00:53:19.440 In terms of
00:53:20.080 The amount of men
00:53:21.180 Being in prison
00:53:22.000 And the amount of men
00:53:22.780 The ratio between men 0.78
00:53:24.160 The amount of men 0.72
00:53:24.640 Who are homosexuals 1.00
00:53:25.660 Also
00:53:26.000 In Atlanta
00:53:26.720 And places like that
00:53:27.540 So the females 1.00
00:53:28.280 Over there
00:53:28.880 Are
00:53:29.260 Accustomed more
00:53:31.840 To reality
00:53:33.040 And therefore
00:53:33.980 They are more
00:53:34.740 Happy to share husbands
00:53:36.200 And I think
00:53:37.520 So it's not
00:53:38.500 Necessary to do
00:53:39.460 With
00:53:39.660 You know
00:53:40.100 We like to say a lot
00:53:41.080 The nature of the female 1.00
00:53:42.240 The nature
00:53:42.620 Like human can adapt
00:53:44.240 You know
00:53:44.500 Like we can adapt
00:53:45.840 There are always
00:53:46.540 Going to be certain things
00:53:47.400 About us
00:53:48.260 That are hardwired
00:53:50.040 You're right
00:53:50.620 But like
00:53:51.200 We can adapt
00:53:52.120 Like we can
00:53:52.920 Have a society
00:53:54.200 What this is
00:53:55.300 We're saying
00:53:55.660 Husbands and wives
00:53:57.120 Can have conversations
00:53:58.100 About this
00:53:58.680 Myself and my wife
00:54:00.240 We had these discussions
00:54:01.500 Before
00:54:02.000 And you know what
00:54:03.240 Because my wife
00:54:04.040 She always gave me
00:54:05.380 The
00:54:05.700 Sort of the feeling
00:54:07.580 That I could be
00:54:08.600 Open with her
00:54:09.320 I told her
00:54:10.880 At one point
00:54:12.000 That
00:54:12.240 Look babe
00:54:13.500 There's the sister
00:54:14.720 Is that you yeah
00:54:16.460 I'm possibly
00:54:17.040 Dawood
00:54:17.820 Dawood
00:54:18.240 May Allah bless you
00:54:20.260 Oh Karen
00:54:20.780 Sorry
00:54:21.600 I was like
00:54:22.520 There's possibly
00:54:23.040 A sister
00:54:23.200 That was going to
00:54:23.760 Call me off the show
00:54:24.300 Bro can you
00:54:25.300 Can you blur my face please
00:54:26.340 There's possibly
00:54:28.120 A sister
00:54:28.600 This is early on
00:54:29.960 I did certain things wrong
00:54:32.240 Yeah
00:54:32.420 Granted
00:54:33.100 Sorry babes 1.00
00:54:33.900 But
00:54:34.440 I did tell her
00:54:36.240 I did tell her
00:54:37.760 Right
00:54:38.080 May Allah bless you bro
00:54:39.520 It's an honourable man
00:54:40.220 Who's done in an honourable way
00:54:41.120 Come on
00:54:41.560 The only reason
00:54:42.380 Why I told her
00:54:43.180 Was because
00:54:43.720 She gave me the feeling
00:54:45.200 That I could talk to her
00:54:46.360 About it
00:54:46.820 Do you know what I mean
00:54:47.660 But then
00:54:48.440 But yeah
00:54:49.340 Okay
00:54:50.280 Because of you Ali
00:54:51.580 Sorry Ali
00:54:52.800 Because of you
00:54:53.520 Sister Ira
00:54:53.980 I actually had this conversation
00:54:55.840 With my husband
00:54:56.040 Okay good good
00:54:56.660 Check this out
00:54:57.100 Check this out
00:54:57.600 Check this out
00:54:58.320 So sister Amira
00:54:59.240 Had this conversation
00:54:59.960 With her husband
00:55:00.500 Because of me
00:55:01.600 How did it go
00:55:02.140 So
00:55:02.720 Can we zoom in please
00:55:04.000 To the sister
00:55:04.300 I'm a very open person
00:55:05.920 Yeah
00:55:06.280 And for me
00:55:07.960 My integrity matters the most
00:55:10.020 Because at the end of the day
00:55:11.580 If we based our relationship
00:55:13.300 On trust and honesty
00:55:14.560 And just
00:55:15.620 You know
00:55:16.560 Like we're friends
00:55:17.580 You know
00:55:17.940 We're friends before
00:55:18.780 We're husband and wife
00:55:20.460 I would feel so hurt
00:55:22.680 If my husband
00:55:23.660 Couldn't talk to me
00:55:24.800 And go
00:55:25.900 And marry 0.54
00:55:26.640 Somebody else 0.93
00:55:27.480 Behind my back
00:55:28.200 And then
00:55:28.860 Now it's leaking
00:55:30.000 Into lying to me
00:55:31.200 On a day to day basis
00:55:32.620 Going to meet
00:55:33.820 Some next chick 0.99
00:55:34.620 I don't even know
00:55:35.460 Did he
00:55:36.340 Did he
00:55:36.920 Did she test
00:55:38.020 Because let's
00:55:39.180 Let's face it
00:55:40.020 A lot of men
00:55:41.140 Marry women 1.00
00:55:41.800 Without even getting
00:55:42.700 Certain tests
00:55:43.640 True true true
00:55:44.160 And then if he brings me
00:55:45.480 Some disease back
00:55:46.540 True
00:55:46.860 Then it will be
00:55:47.940 His janazah for real
00:55:49.440 Literally
00:55:50.200 And we'll do
00:55:50.860 The janazah over him 0.92
00:55:51.640 So what did you
00:55:52.600 Okay
00:55:52.960 Sister Amira
00:55:53.760 May Allah bless you
00:55:54.440 And by the way
00:55:54.860 Sister Amira
00:55:55.380 Just because there's
00:55:56.720 Some jahid people 1.00
00:55:57.980 She's not wearing
00:55:59.040 A hijab properly 0.99
00:55:59.700 She actually doesn't
00:56:01.080 Wear hijab 0.99
00:56:01.580 And she's trying to
00:56:02.500 So for those
00:56:03.500 People
00:56:04.240 Some jahids 1.00
00:56:05.160 Yeah she's actually
00:56:06.120 She comes to the show 1.00
00:56:06.740 And wears it
00:56:07.120 And so does
00:56:07.820 Our dear
00:56:08.340 I actually wear it now
00:56:10.020 Exactly
00:56:10.600 May Allah bless you
00:56:11.360 Inshallah
00:56:11.600 I preserve you
00:56:12.160 So the thing is
00:56:13.980 For those people
00:56:14.800 Who are toxic
00:56:15.420 And talking about
00:56:16.520 This nonsense
00:56:16.980 Just to give a disclaimer
00:56:18.260 Please control your tongues 1.00
00:56:19.540 So anyways
00:56:20.680 You had a discussion
00:56:21.360 With your husband
00:56:22.100 Yes
00:56:22.520 I want to know
00:56:23.220 What did he say
00:56:23.940 Well we
00:56:25.280 I literally had
00:56:26.500 An open discussion
00:56:28.100 And maybe
00:56:28.820 You know
00:56:30.000 He'll come on one day
00:56:31.080 We definitely
00:56:31.520 So I need to meet him
00:56:32.240 And I just said
00:56:34.880 You know
00:56:35.220 Would you want to get
00:56:36.980 A second wife 1.00
00:56:37.960 Like
00:56:38.380 And for him
00:56:39.880 He said no
00:56:40.580 He said no
00:56:41.200 Please bring him here
00:56:41.800 He said no
00:56:42.680 Please I beg you
00:56:43.560 Bring him here
00:56:44.140 He said no
00:56:45.200 Bring him here
00:56:45.700 But you have to
00:56:46.280 Bear in mind
00:56:47.140 I am five wives
00:56:48.800 In one human being
00:56:49.980 Sorry sister
00:56:50.900 You know
00:56:51.360 I'm even nine wives
00:56:52.920 At this point
00:56:53.640 Sister
00:56:54.020 You know what
00:56:55.280 I want you to do
00:56:55.700 I want you to bring
00:56:56.320 Your husband here
00:56:56.940 He literally will not
00:56:58.620 Let anybody say no
00:56:59.760 Sister
00:57:00.240 I'm telling you
00:57:01.000 Bring your husband here 0.79
00:57:01.920 I'm telling you
00:57:02.960 Give me three and a half minutes
00:57:04.100 But I ended up
00:57:05.740 Coming
00:57:06.240 I ended up saying to him
00:57:08.020 Like look
00:57:08.600 If you did ever
00:57:10.380 Change your mind
00:57:11.300 And for whatever reason
00:57:12.980 His mind has already decided
00:57:13.920 He's just saying that to you
00:57:14.340 For whatever reason
00:57:15.040 You wanted to actually
00:57:16.140 Get married again
00:57:17.220 Yeah
00:57:17.560 Have that discussion
00:57:18.860 With me openly
00:57:19.900 Because
00:57:20.500 Although it might hurt me
00:57:22.960 Although it might be
00:57:23.940 Something
00:57:24.340 That
00:57:25.260 I'm not in favour of
00:57:27.120 Yeah
00:57:27.300 I would see why
00:57:29.300 I would understand
00:57:30.080 And obviously go back
00:57:31.160 To the deen
00:57:31.760 And understand that
00:57:33.260 Sister
00:57:33.580 May Allah bless you
00:57:34.580 We're going to go sister
00:57:34.960 At one time
00:57:35.280 I'm going to come
00:57:35.620 May Allah bless you
00:57:36.480 And by the way guys
00:57:37.140 Jokes aside yeah
00:57:37.840 This is a serious matter yeah
00:57:39.200 The prophet peace be upon him
00:57:40.060 Said that a man
00:57:41.100 Who has two wives 1.00
00:57:42.360 And he favours one over the other
00:57:43.640 Will come on the day of judgement
00:57:44.620 Leaning his body
00:57:45.560 Will be leaning on one side
00:57:46.760 We joke around here
00:57:47.920 This and there
00:57:48.320 But it's not a joking matter
00:57:49.280 It's a serious matter
00:57:50.020 It involves another woman 1.00
00:57:51.000 It involves her emotions
00:57:52.160 There's so many factors
00:57:53.560 I'm not here to say pro or against
00:57:55.020 All I want to do in this show
00:57:56.600 Is so we understand
00:57:57.960 Just understand us
00:57:58.920 Wallahi just understand us
00:58:00.240 The way we understand you
00:58:01.120 That's all we're saying
00:58:01.780 I'm not saying to anybody
00:58:02.580 Go and get married again
00:58:03.760 Etc
00:58:04.080 Because there's consequences
00:58:05.600 Like you said
00:58:06.040 Even hijab 0.92
00:58:06.480 He said he doesn't recommend it
00:58:07.780 Because it can be detrimental
00:58:09.160 No man 0.97
00:58:10.320 Who does this
00:58:10.960 By the way to the sisters
00:58:11.820 Wakes up and says
00:58:12.960 I'm going to ruin my wife's 0.86
00:58:14.340 Life right now 0.99
00:58:15.280 And make her suffer 0.98
00:58:16.440 No man does that
00:58:17.460 Wallahi believe us
00:58:18.380 We are created in a way
00:58:19.860 Where sometimes
00:58:20.960 It can be peak
00:58:22.000 And it should be done
00:58:22.720 In the correct way
00:58:23.500 That's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00
00:58:24.680 Sent these protocols in place
00:58:26.880 Because men like to do it 1.00
00:58:28.380 In a way without responsibilities
00:58:29.720 Let me get what I want
00:58:30.920 No no no no no
00:58:32.060 Brother
00:58:32.740 That's why I tell the sisters
00:58:33.800 If he's going to do it
00:58:34.540 You tell him
00:58:34.960 You marry that woman 1.00
00:58:35.960 You give her maher 0.99
00:58:36.940 You do all of that stuff
00:58:38.700 You know what he's going to say
00:58:39.380 No I ain't got time for that
00:58:40.600 Let's go to Sister Aira
00:58:41.540 And then we're going to come to
00:58:42.660 The brothers
00:58:43.240 And we're going to wrap up
00:58:44.200 We need to wrap up
00:58:44.820 Sister Aira
00:58:45.400 One second sister
00:58:48.820 One second sister
00:58:49.380 Yep
00:58:50.860 Maybe she doesn't want to do it
00:58:52.060 No she does 0.97
00:58:52.540 She's on the show
00:58:53.020 Yeah yeah yeah
00:58:53.640 I know by any way
00:58:54.760 I'm supposed to make three
00:58:55.760 Brothers
00:58:57.620 But there's someone who's in this
00:59:03.080 Yes
00:59:06.180 Outward
00:59:07.560 I wouldn't mind
00:59:08.900 Because
00:59:09.260 Like where is
00:59:13.860 All of a sudden
00:59:14.480 Like how is
00:59:16.920 He extends from
00:59:17.340 Disappointment
00:59:17.920 Because of
00:59:19.540 Adjustments
00:59:21.180 Especially from
00:59:22.900 The women's side
00:59:23.860 Why can he not
00:59:25.700 Yes
00:59:27.500 He has crunched his desire
00:59:28.780 I can hear what I want to say
00:59:30.800 When
00:59:31.300 Men
00:59:32.460 Wipe in space
00:59:33.240 And we want love
00:59:34.440 Now that
00:59:35.260 Now that
00:59:36.660 That love
00:59:37.420 Is going to be
00:59:38.300 Split
00:59:38.640 50-50
00:59:39.340 Let's just say
00:59:40.020 There's two wives 1.00
00:59:40.700 In this scenario
00:59:41.300 Right
00:59:41.660 He's out here
00:59:42.940 Investing
00:59:43.520 100% of herself
00:59:44.620 Mentally
00:59:45.420 Emotionally
00:59:46.180 Physically
00:59:46.760 But that's not
00:59:48.220 The children
00:59:48.660 The whole
00:59:49.200 Future
00:59:50.700 But he's only getting
00:59:51.940 50%
00:59:52.500 You know
00:59:53.820 Because he's only
00:59:54.720 Going to be spending
00:59:55.220 Half the time with her
00:59:56.380 Whether that is physically
00:59:57.780 Or whether that is emotionally
00:59:59.120 Quality
00:59:59.440 Promising
00:59:59.880 Not just that
01:00:01.060 But if a woman is acting out 1.00
01:00:02.800 Then
01:00:03.500 Then acting more psychotic
01:00:05.980 Now why
01:00:06.940 But
01:00:07.800 Something to say
01:00:09.300 Like
01:00:09.720 How men can't 1.00
01:00:11.300 Overwatch
01:00:11.860 Who has a past
01:00:14.500 Because
01:00:14.960 You know
01:00:15.400 It's not the same thing
01:00:17.460 It's not the same thing
01:00:17.960 I accept it
01:00:18.140 The woman's got a past 1.00
01:00:19.120 It's been out
01:00:19.620 From both of them
01:00:20.280 Much like that
01:00:21.760 I would imagine a woman 0.99
01:00:23.100 Would you find it
01:00:23.740 Very difficult
01:00:24.280 To expect
01:00:25.100 That her man
01:00:26.240 Will now have this woman 1.00
01:00:27.400 And it's not
01:00:28.040 Just
01:00:28.340 Something that happened
01:00:29.700 In the past
01:00:30.240 But rather
01:00:30.780 But sister
01:00:31.520 It's not
01:00:31.940 It's not about us though
01:00:33.360 It's
01:00:33.720 I'm so sorry
01:00:35.720 I'm so sorry
01:00:36.960 Wait wait
01:00:46.980 Let me
01:00:47.560 It is almost like that
01:00:48.920 Okay go on
01:00:49.660 So yes you're right
01:00:51.600 It's not about us
01:00:52.520 But it is
01:00:53.820 To some degree
01:00:54.480 It is about me
01:00:55.440 It's not 100% about me
01:00:57.200 I am just as much
01:00:58.560 In the relationship
01:00:59.260 As he is
01:01:00.140 He can't take me
01:01:01.160 Out of the equation
01:01:01.920 Not can you take out
01:01:02.580 My emotions
01:01:03.260 My well being
01:01:04.420 And the children's well being
01:01:05.620 Because if I'm not okay
01:01:06.680 In my mind
01:01:07.360 But that's on you
01:01:10.580 To work on
01:01:11.420 As a woman
01:01:12.080 You need to be able
01:01:13.380 To manage your own emotions
01:01:14.880 And that's what I was saying
01:01:16.760 Earlier on
01:01:17.220 When I said
01:01:17.580 Try and
01:01:18.080 No that's what I was saying
01:01:19.240 Earlier on
01:01:19.480 When I said
01:01:19.860 We need to try
01:01:20.700 And understand men better
01:01:21.660 They understand us very well
01:01:23.700 They know when
01:01:24.380 We're not feeling great
01:01:25.700 When there's certain things
01:01:26.560 Going on
01:01:26.960 But when they're coming to us
01:01:28.440 With an issue
01:01:29.480 That is very very sensitive
01:01:31.100 Rather than saying
01:01:31.840 Okay
01:01:32.180 Let me sit down
01:01:33.700 And see how
01:01:34.600 I can help
01:01:35.520 My husband
01:01:36.440 How I can
01:01:37.620 It is
01:01:38.460 This is how
01:01:39.440 Allah has met 0.89
01:01:40.200 No but
01:01:40.780 Let me finish
01:01:42.960 Let me finish
01:01:44.000 Let me finish
01:01:44.560 Let me finish
01:01:45.080 Hang on
01:01:46.200 Let me finish
01:01:46.580 It's a banish desire
01:01:48.120 Hang on
01:01:49.020 It's a banish desire
01:01:49.940 One second
01:01:50.380 One second
01:01:51.360 Let me land
01:01:51.720 Let me land
01:01:52.260 Let me land
01:01:52.280 Let me land
01:01:53.120 Hang on
01:01:54.120 So this is about
01:01:56.020 Us trying to help
01:01:58.080 Them with their
01:01:58.800 This is something
01:01:59.340 That Allah has
01:02:00.020 Ingrained into them
01:02:01.320 It's
01:02:01.520 They can't help it
01:02:03.120 It's like being born
01:02:03.920 With one hand
01:02:04.620 They can't help it
01:02:05.820 Exactly
01:02:07.140 So then we need
01:02:08.380 To work together
01:02:09.440 Look I'm not
01:02:10.700 I'm the same
01:02:11.540 I'm going to say to you
01:02:12.380 I would not want my husband
01:02:13.600 To have a
01:02:14.120 Second wife 0.98
01:02:15.460 Okay good
01:02:16.140 So you're causing
01:02:18.400 Oppression
01:02:19.080 No no no
01:02:20.440 One second
01:02:21.020 No but that's not
01:02:22.380 Oppression
01:02:22.460 No guys guys 0.94
01:02:23.140 This is something
01:02:24.440 That Allah has made 0.98
01:02:25.520 In them
01:02:26.000 Why do we not
01:02:26.560 Understand that
01:02:27.060 Guys hello
01:02:27.520 Sorry
01:02:27.940 Please
01:02:28.600 Guys guys
01:02:30.700 One second please
01:02:31.420 One second
01:02:31.860 There's a few things
01:02:32.440 That was touched upon
01:02:33.240 I want to come to
01:02:33.820 We're going to
01:02:34.480 We're going to wrap up
01:02:34.980 Inshallah
01:02:35.320 Okay
01:02:35.620 Yes
01:02:36.900 So what I'm saying
01:02:37.680 Is in a nutshell
01:02:38.220 Is that the man
01:02:39.420 Feels less loved
01:02:40.180 When the woman 0.99
01:02:40.820 Spends more time
01:02:41.600 With his kids
01:02:42.360 He's given 50%
01:02:43.100 Of the love
01:02:43.860 And there's
01:02:44.260 This is that show
01:02:45.080 That men feel
01:02:45.840 Deprived yeah
01:02:46.460 Now when it comes
01:02:47.300 To desire
01:02:47.900 What you're doing
01:02:49.000 Is you're equating
01:02:49.620 Desire
01:02:50.540 With you're saying
01:02:51.360 Mine is marriage
01:02:52.160 But yours is just desire
01:02:53.060 It's like me
01:02:54.200 Belittling
01:02:54.700 What you're going through
01:02:55.660 What if I came and said
01:02:56.420 For example
01:02:56.920 That you're going
01:02:58.340 Through menopause
01:02:58.940 And your period
01:03:00.180 And when you're pregnant
01:03:01.380 As well
01:03:01.740 When the woman is pregnant 1.00
01:03:02.440 Sorry
01:03:03.420 We've been learning here
01:03:05.060 It's hard to have intimacy
01:03:06.460 Okay
01:03:07.060 So can the man
01:03:07.980 Come and say
01:03:08.300 Hold on a second
01:03:08.760 I am being deprived
01:03:09.920 And there are studies
01:03:10.540 That show
01:03:10.960 A man's sexual drive 0.96
01:03:12.920 There is no comparison
01:03:14.940 So this is the reason
01:03:16.220 Why we say
01:03:16.840 Biologically
01:03:17.920 When I had that discussion 0.99
01:03:18.700 With that toxic feminist 1.00
01:03:19.700 Girl 1.00
01:03:20.020 Yeah
01:03:20.780 You guys are vulnerable
01:03:22.500 In an altercation
01:03:23.560 When it comes to a man
01:03:24.980 You are biologically weaker
01:03:26.240 That is your most vulnerable
01:03:27.800 State you're in
01:03:28.660 You require a man 1.00
01:03:30.020 To be there
01:03:30.560 To protect you
01:03:31.400 A man's most vulnerable
01:03:32.900 State is when it comes
01:03:33.940 To intimacy
01:03:34.540 And when a man
01:03:35.600 Is deprived of that
01:03:36.480 You are also saying
01:03:37.360 On top of that
01:03:38.620 You are not allowed
01:03:39.520 To get married again 0.99
01:03:40.160 You have to shut up 0.97
01:03:41.320 And go through 1.00
01:03:42.640 Whatever I'm going through
01:03:43.440 And put up with it
01:03:44.160 So it's unfair
01:03:45.380 Just on the points
01:03:47.040 You said you wanted
01:03:47.580 Guidance and clarification
01:03:49.060 But it did seem
01:03:51.160 A bit like a polemic
01:03:52.020 But I would say
01:03:52.700 That the first
01:03:53.240 And second points
01:03:54.040 That you made anyway
01:03:55.180 Had assumptions of it
01:03:56.880 Of a liberal
01:03:57.420 And feministic kind 1.00
01:03:58.540 Undoubtedly
01:03:59.420 The first one was
01:04:00.860 You were talking about
01:04:02.320 Well these are the desires
01:04:03.880 Of men
01:04:04.340 And these are the desires
01:04:05.240 Of women
01:04:05.520 Who says that we are
01:04:06.920 Living our lives
01:04:07.580 On the hedonistic principle
01:04:08.540 Who says that we are
01:04:09.620 Living our lives
01:04:10.220 That the pain
01:04:10.780 And pleasure threshold
01:04:11.980 Is what we
01:04:12.520 We base morality on
01:04:14.220 This is not what we
01:04:15.200 Despite the fact
01:04:17.040 That sometimes
01:04:18.420 We can feel bad
01:04:19.180 About something
01:04:19.660 That could be good for you
01:04:20.500 The Quran says that
01:04:21.080 Very clearly
01:04:21.480 I mean we don't believe
01:04:23.220 That just because
01:04:23.780 Something can feel bad
01:04:24.720 To an individual
01:04:25.360 Man, woman or child 0.81
01:04:26.640 That that thing
01:04:27.080 Becomes bad itself
01:04:27.980 So this idea
01:04:29.340 Remember
01:04:29.840 Islam has a 1.00
01:04:30.860 Communitarian ethic
01:04:31.680 At the end of the day
01:04:32.740 It's not about
01:04:33.620 What's good for
01:04:34.180 The individual actors
01:04:35.160 It's about what's good
01:04:36.100 For the collective
01:04:36.820 Number one
01:04:37.820 Number two is
01:04:39.000 Not just that
01:04:39.760 It's about what's good
01:04:40.620 That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00
01:04:41.900 Wants us to worship in
01:04:42.940 For example
01:04:43.620 Military warfare
01:04:44.560 That military warfare
01:04:48.900 Has been prescribed
01:04:49.560 Upon you
01:04:49.980 And it's something
01:04:50.460 Disliked by you
01:04:52.040 You can hate something
01:04:55.900 And it's good for you
01:04:56.600 And you can love something
01:04:57.580 It's bad for you
01:04:58.300 So the first
01:04:59.080 The premise of the first question
01:05:00.340 Is completely falsified
01:05:02.040 In fact
01:05:02.440 It's almost as if
01:05:03.780 I'm speaking to
01:05:04.420 With respect
01:05:05.500 And not Muslim 1.00
01:05:06.160 It doesn't matter
01:05:06.540 Because I'll say to them
01:05:07.620 If I was speaking to them 0.55
01:05:08.320 Not Muslim 1.00
01:05:08.640 It doesn't matter
01:05:08.960 How do you prove
01:05:09.940 Your premise
01:05:10.400 That in fact
01:05:11.220 The egoistic
01:05:11.980 Individualistic
01:05:12.840 Liberal
01:05:13.620 Hedonistic principle
01:05:14.680 That you have
01:05:15.260 Is actually a true one 0.81
01:05:16.420 In the first place
01:05:16.940 To base morality
01:05:17.460 That's the first thing
01:05:18.400 The second thing
01:05:18.860 Is when you said that
01:05:19.580 Well she's putting in
01:05:20.680 This much in the relationship
01:05:21.660 And he's putting in this much
01:05:22.920 You've assumed equality
01:05:24.520 You've assumed equality
01:05:24.540 It's undoubtedly
01:05:25.440 You've assumed equality
01:05:26.340 And once again
01:05:27.440 That's feminism 1.00
01:05:27.980 Second wave feminism
01:05:28.840 You've imported that
01:05:30.300 Into the religious discourse
01:05:31.340 And then challenged us with it
01:05:33.360 Remember we're not
01:05:34.320 We don't agree with feminism 1.00
01:05:35.820 I don't believe that
01:05:36.980 Equality of value
01:05:38.380 Equals identicality of roles
01:05:40.220 I believe that there's
01:05:41.100 Equality of value
01:05:42.240 Between men and women 1.00
01:05:43.520 But that the roles are different
01:05:44.840 So even if
01:05:46.400 The man puts in
01:05:47.640 10%, 5%, 1%
01:05:49.580 Into a relationship
01:05:50.340 And she puts in 100%
01:05:52.000 That wouldn't indicate to me
01:05:53.740 There's injustice going on
01:05:54.720 Disparity or inequity
01:05:56.200 So for me
01:05:57.080 This is not the way
01:05:58.460 That the situation
01:05:59.200 Is being dealt with
01:06:00.080 So all of
01:06:01.020 In short therefore
01:06:02.160 I would say that
01:06:02.840 All of your questions
01:06:04.080 Seem to have an import
01:06:06.180 Of a post-enlightenment
01:06:07.480 Liberal
01:06:08.220 Colonial 0.81
01:06:09.220 White mankind 0.99
01:06:09.920 Which we don't need to have
01:06:11.700 When we're having these discussions
01:06:13.000 Between Muslims 1.00
01:06:13.760 In fact
01:06:14.540 You can see
01:06:16.460 The discussion so far
01:06:17.980 Has been from
01:06:18.480 At least a big section
01:06:20.080 Of today's
01:06:20.660 Has been Quran and Sunnah 0.70
01:06:22.100 Where we talk about
01:06:23.040 Quran, Sunnah, scholars
01:06:24.400 Quran, Sunnah
01:06:25.320 You're talking to me about
01:06:26.100 50% this
01:06:27.260 100% this
01:06:28.060 Feelings this
01:06:28.820 We're not following
01:06:29.840 The religion of feelings
01:06:30.700 As I said before
01:06:31.260 I'm not going to prostrate
01:06:32.160 Or bow down to anyone's feelings here
01:06:33.520 So in sum therefore
01:06:35.840 I think if we want to
01:06:37.160 Challenge a position
01:06:38.420 As Muslim people
01:06:39.380 We need to challenge
01:06:40.540 The Muslim people 0.99
01:06:41.740 With Islam 0.86
01:06:42.740 Not with something
01:06:44.060 Imported from outside 0.99
01:06:45.180 Or presuppositions
01:06:46.460 Which have a
01:06:47.160 Different kind of
01:06:48.500 Backdrop
01:06:49.200 So that's what I'll say to you
01:06:51.080 It's very important
01:06:51.540 That we get that right
01:06:52.140 May Allah bless you
01:06:52.740 Hijab 0.93
01:06:53.060 And also just to bear in mind
01:06:54.260 We're not saying that
01:06:55.280 And we're going to come to
01:06:56.100 Sister Ira
01:06:56.380 Because I think she did
01:06:56.900 Two more points
01:06:57.400 She's going to make it
01:06:57.880 We're going to probably
01:06:58.400 Wrap up with what she says
01:06:59.200 But just to touch up
01:07:00.680 On the thing
01:07:01.440 We're just trying to say
01:07:02.240 We're not saying that
01:07:03.520 We don't care about
01:07:04.280 Your emotions etc
01:07:05.180 We're just saying that
01:07:06.320 The Quran and Sunnah
01:07:07.060 Comes first 0.99
01:07:07.800 And also for example
01:07:09.260 Sister Ira also
01:07:10.340 Just to touch up on there
01:07:11.140 Is that if you think about it
01:07:12.460 As men
01:07:12.860 When a thief breaks the house
01:07:14.880 We have to go down
01:07:16.320 And we might not return back
01:07:17.440 When a war happens
01:07:18.420 Like it's happened in Ukraine
01:07:19.260 These trans women 0.99
01:07:20.740 Are told shut up 1.00
01:07:21.460 You're a man now 1.00
01:07:22.060 Come and join the war 0.96
01:07:23.040 Yeah
01:07:23.460 So when it comes to that
01:07:25.660 Can you imagine
01:07:26.160 We have to go
01:07:26.880 And I might be coming home
01:07:27.820 Just imagine as a man
01:07:28.840 The gheera that we have
01:07:30.060 For our wives
01:07:30.500 Imagine you're going to war
01:07:32.020 And you know
01:07:33.380 You might get 0.99
01:07:34.360 Well killed 0.99
01:07:35.580 You're not coming back 0.99
01:07:36.840 Your wife is getting married
01:07:38.240 To another man
01:07:39.020 Yeah
01:07:39.760 We don't come and say
01:07:40.840 Well hold on a second bruv
01:07:41.740 Why don't you go to war 0.67
01:07:42.640 I'll cook biryani
01:07:43.300 All day every day bruv
01:07:44.140 Curry
01:07:44.960 All the curries
01:07:45.780 I'll make delicious dishes yeah
01:07:46.800 You go to what
01:07:47.860 And I'll cook
01:07:48.300 No what would my wife say
01:07:49.800 You are the man
01:07:50.960 Ya Allah
01:07:51.720 You have to go
01:07:52.360 We as men don't
01:07:53.560 This is the point
01:07:54.540 We as men don't complain
01:07:55.800 We are ready to put
01:07:56.980 A neck on the line
01:07:57.660 For our family
01:07:58.260 Our deen
01:07:58.740 And go
01:07:59.600 And we don't talk about
01:08:00.760 Emotions and go
01:08:01.280 Well hold on a second
01:08:01.820 If I die 0.50
01:08:02.300 Someone's going to marry you 1.00
01:08:03.140 You're going to be
01:08:03.700 With someone else
01:08:04.280 But why is it that
01:08:05.580 When as men 0.59
01:08:06.360 We talk about our concerns
01:08:07.960 And what we go through
01:08:09.420 And our hormones
01:08:10.160 We are
01:08:10.820 Sean be quiet
01:08:11.700 And you're hurting me
01:08:12.780 But vice versa
01:08:14.120 It's not the same
01:08:15.540 Can I just say
01:08:16.220 Sorry
01:08:16.380 This is a western
01:08:17.940 Point of view
01:08:19.140 Because
01:08:19.520 Sorry
01:08:20.020 Like
01:08:21.140 In terms of polygamy
01:08:22.880 It is a western point of view
01:08:24.820 In Africa
01:08:25.540 Senegal
01:08:26.820 Ivory Coast
01:08:28.320 Nigeria
01:08:28.880 This is more normalised
01:08:30.380 So us
01:08:30.980 From a western gaze
01:08:32.900 It is more of a
01:08:34.340 Oh you know
01:08:35.100 Because we have been brought up
01:08:36.440 In a monogamous
01:08:38.060 Type of mindset
01:08:39.160 Romeo and Juliet
01:08:40.220 However
01:08:41.160 Most scholars
01:08:42.340 Do not recommend
01:08:43.820 Romeo and Juliet
01:08:44.500 And Stacey
01:08:44.780 For men
01:08:45.960 To have secret wives 0.98
01:08:48.300 Most scholars
01:08:49.380 Do say
01:08:50.140 Just tell the wife 1.00
01:08:51.600 Or make it known
01:08:52.700 Because of XYZ 0.73
01:08:54.660 That's all I want to say
01:08:55.740 You said you didn't finish your point
01:08:57.600 I don't want to cut you off
01:08:58.280 Context
01:08:58.700 Last point
01:09:01.140 So we're wrapping up
01:09:01.720 Wow wow wow
01:09:05.340 I knew there was a
01:09:07.580 I knew there was a plot twist
01:09:08.560 About jihad right 0.95
01:09:09.680 Yes yes
01:09:10.480 Should be refuted
01:09:12.060 When we go home
01:09:12.740 What do you have to say about that
01:09:14.900 Say that again 0.67
01:09:15.740 No say it again
01:09:17.220 Say it again
01:09:17.640 Just text me
01:09:18.580 Come back to me man
01:09:19.580 Women do jihad 1.00
01:09:20.640 Every time they give birth
01:09:21.840 Women do jihad 1.00
01:09:23.020 Every time they wear hijab 1.00
01:09:24.400 In the western world
01:09:25.440 It's jihad everyday
01:09:26.700 Right
01:09:27.300 For women
01:09:27.900 Hijabi women 0.95
01:09:29.780 This is a
01:09:30.100 This is a
01:09:31.160 Refutation to my wife
01:09:32.300 Can we get the cameras crossed please
01:09:33.660 And also she said that
01:09:35.340 You should go to fast
01:09:36.240 I'll be fasting with my new wife 0.98
01:09:38.780 Okay
01:09:41.800 Now okay look guys
01:09:42.820 Joss aside
01:09:43.580 Can we go back to the topic
01:09:44.940 Yes yes
01:09:45.800 Practicality
01:09:46.600 How does he work secret twice
01:09:48.260 Sorry
01:09:49.500 How are you a provider
01:09:50.740 How are you a carer
01:09:52.020 How are you fed
01:09:53.020 How are you a high value man
01:09:55.620 If you are lying
01:09:57.100 Hiding
01:09:57.800 And asking the second one
01:09:59.240 How can you accept
01:10:00.060 Okay
01:10:00.500 I just want to know the fact
01:10:02.020 Okay okay good
01:10:02.580 I think we discussed on that
01:10:03.580 No woman 1.00
01:10:04.240 Even if she accepts
01:10:05.560 And I can tell you
01:10:06.720 Because I know people
01:10:07.820 That have said that
01:10:08.720 Because they put themselves
01:10:10.220 Already in a really bad situation
01:10:12.220 In a fitness situation
01:10:13.500 Okay
01:10:14.080 Then get the camera on her
01:10:15.340 How does he work
01:10:16.480 Because
01:10:17.100 Because you know
01:10:18.100 In the beginning
01:10:18.660 Very often
01:10:19.360 Obviously they are in love
01:10:20.740 Maybe they have
01:10:21.380 Like feelings for the person
01:10:22.900 Yeah
01:10:23.280 Very often
01:10:23.800 They have put themselves
01:10:24.720 In a situation
01:10:25.860 That now makes the marriage
01:10:27.620 An obligation
01:10:28.420 Okay
01:10:29.460 Yes
01:10:30.220 Second
01:10:30.760 La ilahe
01:10:31.520 Sister
01:10:32.020 Have mercy on us
01:10:32.840 Please
01:10:33.040 Every woman
01:10:34.340 Is going to say
01:10:34.960 You know what
01:10:35.820 I take only one day a week
01:10:37.020 It's fine
01:10:37.480 As long as I have you
01:10:38.240 In my life
01:10:38.880 But it will never last
01:10:41.120 And we all know that
01:10:42.160 Because every woman
01:10:43.380 Will want to have
01:10:44.680 What the other one has
01:10:45.680 Okay
01:10:46.240 Okay
01:10:46.900 Okay
01:10:47.320 That's a while
01:10:47.900 No that's
01:10:48.340 That's fine
01:10:49.280 There is
01:10:50.300 We need to wrap up guys
01:10:51.160 And not only that
01:10:52.800 Not only that
01:10:53.160 We talked about this
01:10:53.840 In the other episode
01:10:54.420 Of polygamy 0.72
01:10:54.900 We discussed this
01:10:55.860 So today's topic
01:10:56.380 Is more about
01:10:56.780 Secret second wife
01:10:57.400 Polygamy
01:10:58.040 We discussed this
01:10:59.000 It's going to come out
01:10:59.560 Yes yes
01:11:02.180 Maybe we can have
01:11:03.000 Another discussion
01:11:03.640 On its own
01:11:04.140 Because it's a broad topic
01:11:04.820 And talking about
01:11:05.360 How we're standing up
01:11:06.000 I'm talking about
01:11:06.940 The practicality
01:11:07.740 I understand
01:11:09.940 What I'm saying is
01:11:10.920 Time is running out
01:11:14.060 Sister
01:11:14.340 Time is running out
01:11:15.160 Look we're nearly
01:11:16.080 Two hours
01:11:16.580 I know sister
01:11:17.960 But time is running out
01:11:18.680 Part two
01:11:19.780 To be continued
01:11:20.340 In a nutshell
01:11:21.540 Yes of course
01:11:22.880 Of course
01:11:23.540 Everyone is in a form
01:11:24.520 Of jihad
01:11:25.220 In the context of
01:11:26.100 You know
01:11:26.580 Like you said
01:11:26.940 A woman who's given birth
01:11:28.260 Yes
01:11:28.520 But what I'm trying to say
01:11:30.000 Is this year
01:11:30.500 Is that
01:11:31.160 In the context
01:11:32.080 What we're trying to say
01:11:32.720 Is that
01:11:33.000 A man
01:11:33.600 Who is
01:11:34.380 Look at it
01:11:34.820 Look
01:11:34.960 When your husband
01:11:36.260 Gets another wife 1.00
01:11:37.000 You're not dying
01:11:38.480 Like you're not going to die
01:11:39.420 You're not going to physically die
01:11:40.600 Number one
01:11:41.440 Number two
01:11:42.100 He's coming back home to you
01:11:43.060 Number two
01:11:43.580 He provides for you
01:11:44.220 He protects
01:11:44.620 The same man
01:11:45.180 He's coming back to you
01:11:45.940 When I go to war
01:11:47.040 And I die
01:11:47.640 I'm not coming back
01:11:48.660 I'm not coming back
01:11:50.940 So one second
01:11:51.640 One second
01:11:52.520 I'm not coming back
01:11:53.960 You're coming
01:11:54.440 You're coming back
01:11:55.300 I'm coming back home to you
01:11:56.320 But
01:11:56.820 When you're sharing me
01:11:58.280 It's another woman 1.00
01:11:59.460 But in the context
01:12:00.780 When I'm going to war
01:12:01.600 I ain't coming back
01:12:02.300 But I'm gone
01:12:02.760 You know what
01:12:03.300 That's why
01:12:03.980 I believe Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00
01:12:05.700 Told us men about
01:12:06.940 Hur al-Ain by the way
01:12:07.980 If you guys know Hur al-Ain
01:12:08.820 That we're going to have in Jannah 0.87
01:12:09.940 InshaAllah
01:12:11.220 Yeah
01:12:13.100 So the Hur al-Ain 0.98
01:12:17.420 We're going to have
01:12:17.840 You know why
01:12:18.340 Because if you think about it
01:12:19.460 Guys
01:12:19.600 One second
01:12:20.080 We're finished there
01:12:20.940 Guys
01:12:21.680 Why
01:12:22.580 Guys
01:12:23.520 Why has Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.99
01:12:25.600 Told us men
01:12:26.520 About Hur al-Ain
01:12:27.540 And they are described
01:12:28.280 In a very very specific manner
01:12:30.280 Why
01:12:31.100 Because Allah created us
01:12:32.780 He knows our weaknesses
01:12:33.860 He knows what we want
01:12:34.700 We're a simple people
01:12:35.720 Why is it Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 1.00
01:12:37.140 Hasn't gone into details
01:12:37.920 What women are going to get 1.00
01:12:38.780 You know why
01:12:39.340 Because if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.99
01:12:40.280 Said you're going to get
01:12:40.800 One palace and one bag
01:12:41.740 He will say
01:12:42.260 Oh but I want 10 palaces
01:12:43.100 So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala 0.95
01:12:44.280 Doesn't go into details
01:12:45.160 But when it comes to the man bro
01:12:46.400 Very simple
01:12:47.020 Hur al-Ain
01:12:47.460 Thank you all day
01:12:48.800 Every day brother
01:12:49.380 And that's why
01:12:50.380 You can wait until
01:12:51.100 That's why
01:12:51.460 That's what
01:12:51.860 Ali Ali Ali Ali
01:12:53.100 I just wanted to say
01:12:53.900 I wanted to say yeah
01:12:54.820 I think this is the problem
01:12:56.140 Can I just finish point
01:12:56.720 The way we discuss this thing
01:12:57.920 So what I'm saying is this
01:12:58.900 That's why
01:12:59.760 The incentive for a man 1.00
01:13:01.340 Who's going to war
01:13:02.120 Knowing he's going to die
01:13:03.020 And not come back to his wife
01:13:04.020 He has the incentive of
01:13:05.320 Hur al-Ain
01:13:06.220 Alhamdulillah
01:13:07.320 All day every day
01:13:08.040 Dawud with you
01:13:08.720 Yeah yeah yeah
01:13:09.460 Just a disclaimer
01:13:11.820 Very quickly a disclaimer
01:13:12.940 I agree with what
01:13:14.500 Hijab was saying
01:13:15.240 From an ideological point of view
01:13:16.980 I also agree with
01:13:19.220 What you were saying
01:13:19.820 About the intention behind it
01:13:21.140 But I feel like
01:13:21.640 This is the problem
01:13:22.400 The way we discuss this
01:13:23.720 Topic in the first place
01:13:25.400 To me as an outsider
01:13:27.000 Just listening to both sides
01:13:28.160 It seems a bit like
01:13:29.320 Tit for tat
01:13:30.160 Oh
01:13:30.440 And
01:13:31.660 No let's just understand each other
01:13:33.560 No no it's tit for tat
01:13:34.440 But it's not understanding
01:13:35.680 Because understanding
01:13:36.560 You know what
01:13:37.100 The sister
01:13:38.180 What the sister said
01:13:39.000 The way I would have responded
01:13:40.480 I would have said
01:13:41.040 Look sister
01:13:41.500 First of all
01:13:42.240 You said
01:13:43.500 It's about desire
01:13:44.800 Right
01:13:45.820 No no
01:13:46.500 She said it's about desire
01:13:47.460 Yeah yeah
01:13:47.620 She said
01:13:47.940 Yeah
01:13:48.220 And so what
01:13:49.560 Exactly
01:13:50.800 So what
01:13:51.440 It is about desire
01:13:52.500 Exactly
01:13:52.800 I'll be honest
01:13:53.360 Yes
01:13:53.620 If a man
01:13:54.420 Thank you Dawud
01:13:54.920 Thank you bro
01:13:55.520 If a man
01:13:56.180 If a man
01:13:56.200 If a man
01:13:58.000 Has desire
01:13:59.440 To fulfill that
01:14:00.960 And he wants to
01:14:02.720 Multiply in the land
01:14:04.120 Yeah
01:14:04.900 And he wants to
01:14:05.780 Build families
01:14:06.840 Because
01:14:07.200 We are Muslims
01:14:09.120 The moment the man
01:14:10.540 Gets married again
01:14:11.580 What he does is
01:14:12.820 He
01:14:13.020 Generates
01:14:15.160 He needs to generate
01:14:16.180 Extra energy
01:14:17.140 To fulfill
01:14:18.820 To be a father twice
01:14:20.220 To be a husband twice
01:14:21.360 To be a provider twice
01:14:22.600 So it's not that
01:14:24.380 The desire is
01:14:25.280 Something dirty
01:14:27.080 It's that
01:14:27.580 We're curtailing
01:14:28.760 Desire
01:14:29.600 In a way
01:14:30.960 That is pleasing to Allah 0.91
01:14:32.400 Thank you
01:14:32.780 May Allah bless you inshallah
01:14:33.660 Guys we need to wrap up
01:14:34.420 If you want part 2
01:14:35.040 Comment in the section below
01:14:35.900 Inshallah
01:14:36.240 May Allah bless our
01:14:37.220 Honourable sisters here
01:14:38.040 Our Honourable sisters there
01:14:39.140 Our Honourable brothers
01:14:39.880 All the way there
01:14:40.560 For having a part in this
01:14:42.440 Inshallah
01:14:42.760 And may Allah bless you guys
01:14:43.980 Till next time
01:14:44.440 If you want part 2
01:14:45.100 No problem
01:14:45.740 Comment in the section below
01:14:46.720 Till next time
01:14:47.400 From the Bitter Truth Show
01:14:48.160 Assalamualaikum
01:14:49.060 Wa Rahmatullahi
01:14:49.800 Wa Barakatuh 0.52
01:14:50.440 The Prophet
01:14:51.360 Sallallahu al-Sallam said
01:14:52.380 Whoever builds a masjid 0.97
01:14:53.960 For the sake of Allah
01:14:54.700 Allah will build for him 1.00
01:14:57.240 A similar house
01:14:58.380 In Jannah
01:14:59.060 On that day
01:15:00.220 Where Allah
01:15:00.660 Tells us
01:15:01.840 That our books
01:15:02.580 Will be given
01:15:03.060 And every little
01:15:04.660 Atom weight
01:15:05.400 Of good deed
01:15:05.860 You've done
01:15:06.240 Will be there
01:15:07.100 And imagine
01:15:08.020 You see a mountain
01:15:09.080 And you're like
01:15:09.920 What a lucky person
01:15:10.940 Which righteous person
01:15:12.480 And Allah says
01:15:13.820 This is for you
01:15:14.580 For me?
01:15:15.600 Yes
01:15:15.980 What did I do?
01:15:17.680 You allow people to pray
01:15:19.120 You built a masjid
01:15:20.160 I never had the money
01:15:20.980 To build a masjid 0.99
01:15:21.560 Oh Allah
01:15:21.880 You helped
01:15:23.220 You gave towards it
01:15:24.440 And Allah gives you the reward
01:15:25.580 Of as if you've built it
01:15:26.920 Donate now guys
01:15:28.240 And do not delay
01:15:29.000 And share the video
01:15:30.200 For extra rewards
01:15:31.140 towards it
01:15:34.860 Or as if you just Face
01:15:35.640 It's like
01:15:36.980 And have someone
01:15:37.600 And have some
01:15:38.260 Like some
01:15:38.880 what can
01:15:39.380 touch and
01:15:40.600 And have you
01:15:42.040 Can
01:15:42.400 It's
01:15:42.780 Like some
01:15:44.440 Of as if you're