Ali Dawah - WHY MEN GET SECRET SECOND WIVES - EP 8 ｜

00:00:00.000 If they put me, hijab, brother Sertaj, Dawood on lie detector test

00:00:03.580 And they said the following questions

00:00:05.040 Do you love your wife? Yes, pass

00:00:07.800 Would you die for her? Yes, pass

00:00:09.920 If your wife was okay, would you get a second wife? Yes, pass

00:00:13.520 There is not a conflict between a man loving his wife

00:00:17.200 And a man wanting to be polygamous

00:00:20.080 I agree

00:00:20.600 I get the polygamous part

00:00:22.420 I get the whole wanting to have more intimacy with more than one woman

00:00:26.580 But if you can ask the question more accurately

00:00:30.100 That take on another wife

00:00:32.100 And all the responsibilities that come with another wife

00:00:34.860 How many men will agree to that?

00:00:36.860 For example, if one says

00:00:38.040 I sense that you've got a second wife

00:00:39.980 Can he say, no I don't?

00:00:42.320 Yes he can, you can see that

00:00:43.240 I possibly believe this is

00:00:45.500 If we sit down and we talk about it

00:00:47.720 And I take my selfish knees out of it

00:00:50.180 I.e. me wanting him all to myself

00:00:52.900 I need to understand them

00:00:54.160 So I need to sit down

00:00:55.240 And I need to really think about

00:00:56.720 How this is going to affect him

00:00:58.660 It could lead him into doing dinner

00:01:01.100 Because my wife was

00:01:02.180 She always gave me the

00:01:03.680 Sort of the feeling

00:01:05.560 That I could be open with her

00:01:07.300 I told her

00:01:08.880 At one point

00:01:10.000 That

00:01:10.260 Look babe

00:01:11.480 That's the sister

00:01:12.760 Is that you, yeah?

00:01:14.580 I'm possibly

00:01:15.020 If we're talking about secret second wife

00:01:18.120 If my husband has gone behind my back

00:01:21.260 That to me is cheating

00:01:23.200 Even if it is Islamically correct

00:01:25.900 Feminist sisters who love their sisters

00:01:27.620 Who will die for their sisters

00:01:28.760 Who will take a bullet for their sisters

00:01:30.100 But will not share their husbands for their sisters

00:01:31.740 So the point is this

00:01:33.200 You know, let me be real, yeah?

00:01:34.240 If you love your

00:01:34.860 If you've got a good husband

00:01:35.740 By the way

00:01:36.200 I'm not talking about these guys

00:01:37.160 Who don't pray

00:01:37.600 Jahil

00:01:38.040 Clowns, yeah?

00:01:38.980 Who don't pray

00:01:39.500 Who oppress their wives

00:01:40.400 A good man who practices

00:01:41.680 Who fears Allah

00:01:42.380 Who's good to his wife

00:01:43.140 Takes care of his wife

00:01:44.020 He comes and he says

00:01:45.260 I want a second wife

00:01:46.300 All hell breaks loose

00:01:47.980 And then we blame this man

00:01:49.180 Yeah, but why are you keeping it secret?

00:01:51.140 What else should he do?

00:01:51.740 This is a test to see how

00:01:53.080 Allah is testing her

00:01:54.200 To see how she responds

00:01:55.160 If she decides to do the opposite

00:01:57.420 Which is, you know

00:01:58.940 Throw the divorce card

00:02:00.900 Or throw this card

00:02:01.880 Then ultimately

00:02:02.940 She is falling into the act of disobedience

00:02:04.820 Thank you

00:02:05.280 Thank you

00:02:05.860 Which I'm now expecting

00:02:07.340 As a Muslim man to follow

00:02:08.240 It's not the religion of Al-Islam

00:02:09.860 It's the religion of women's feelings

00:02:11.700 I'm not going to follow that religion

00:02:13.040 With respect to you

00:02:14.220 I'm not going to do

00:02:15.280 Prestoration to the

00:02:16.640 Collective hormonal

00:02:17.880 And emotional status

00:02:19.120 Of men or women

00:02:19.840 Or children

00:02:20.220 Or anybody else

00:02:20.840 You're saying if he's man enough

00:02:22.040 If your husband came to you man enough

00:02:23.520 And said to you

00:02:24.060 He wants a second wife

00:02:24.860 At least then it's not secret

00:02:26.200 I knew about it

00:02:26.940 One sec, one sec, one sec

00:02:27.840 You know about it

00:02:28.640 Are you going to

00:02:29.420 What are you going to do?

00:02:29.920 Are you going to say to me

00:02:30.420 Yeah, you can?

00:02:31.120 Thank you

00:02:31.400 Your face is

00:02:31.820 No

00:02:31.980 If he knows that she would

00:02:34.440 Withhold the kids from him

00:02:35.480 Use the state

00:02:36.140 Then do it without her knowledge

00:02:37.400 But I believe that's a form of abuse

00:02:38.980 You said bro

00:02:39.620 And I'll call them cowards

00:02:40.820 Who would rather make their wife happy

00:02:43.020 At the displeasure of Allah

00:02:44.580 Yeah

00:02:45.180 A coward

00:02:45.900 The biggest coward ever

00:02:47.000 That would go and commit zina

00:02:48.560 Adultery

00:02:49.580 At the cost of my wife

00:02:51.100 You are the biggest simp ever

00:02:52.640 With a capital S

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00:03:20.720 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:03:22.980 To your brothers and sisters

00:03:23.600 And dear friends

00:03:24.140 Hope you guys are well inshallah

00:03:25.000 Before I start

00:03:25.600 I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:03:26.680 The most merciful

00:03:27.200 The most just

00:03:27.780 I'll praise His glory

00:03:28.500 And gratitude

00:03:28.860 Belong to Him

00:03:29.440 So just quick

00:03:31.220 Bitter buzzers

00:03:32.360 If you oppose anyone

00:03:33.540 Just press it

00:03:34.180 You have one and a half minute

00:03:35.040 Let's try obviously

00:03:37.360 Not to backbite

00:03:38.240 Or sadaqa jari

00:03:39.040 I know we're not going to

00:03:39.840 But just a disclaimer

00:03:40.840 And that

00:03:42.660 Our honourable sisters

00:03:43.420 Our honourable brothers

00:03:44.140 Are here

00:03:44.420 To discuss something pertaining

00:03:46.140 For the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:03:47.360 Because we know

00:03:48.440 There's an attack on the family unit

00:03:49.680 Left right centre

00:03:50.460 And inshallah

00:03:51.500 Our aim with that show

00:03:52.400 Is to counter that

00:03:54.060 Inshallah

00:03:54.440 To preserve marriages

00:03:55.520 Let's get straight into it

00:03:56.680 The topic is

00:03:57.360 Secret second wives

00:03:59.160 And yes

00:04:01.280 The first topic is

00:04:02.240 Is it okay

00:04:03.060 So we're going to do

00:04:04.240 Is two segments

00:04:04.840 The first one is going to be

00:04:05.900 That

00:04:06.500 Is it okay for a man

00:04:08.180 To be in a secret

00:04:09.460 Second marriage

00:04:12.020 Or third or fourth marriage

00:04:12.860 For that

00:04:13.140 Let's start with you Hijab

00:04:14.200 Inshallah

00:04:14.580 So let me just summarise

00:04:16.420 The points

00:04:16.820 I think

00:04:17.780 When we say

00:04:18.220 Is it okay

00:04:18.640 Now for Muslim people

00:04:19.800 At least

00:04:20.120 This will become

00:04:20.580 A fiqhi discussion

00:04:21.400 This becomes

00:04:22.320 A jurisprudential discussion

00:04:23.420 Islamic law discussion

00:04:24.600 So with fiqh

00:04:26.060 There's two

00:04:26.540 There's two components

00:04:27.580 There's the abstract

00:04:28.920 And there's the application

00:04:30.240 Okay

00:04:30.960 The abstract

00:04:31.820 You can refer to as fiqh

00:04:32.820 Or the rulings

00:04:33.360 Or the

00:04:34.360 Asl al-hukm

00:04:35.180 They would call it

00:04:35.840 And then you have

00:04:36.500 Tanzeel al-hukm

00:04:37.240 Which is the application

00:04:37.940 Right

00:04:38.340 So

00:04:39.060 To give you an example

00:04:40.460 Marriage itself

00:04:41.140 Can take different rulings

00:04:42.060 Sugar

00:04:43.280 Can take different rulings

00:04:44.580 Like if someone's got diabetes

00:04:45.540 And they take sugar

00:04:46.680 That can be haram for them

00:04:47.680 You see

00:04:48.340 If someone is morbidly obese

00:04:50.300 And they eat food

00:04:50.980 That can be haram for them

00:04:51.960 Because it's harmful

00:04:52.800 So even food

00:04:54.160 Can take different rulings

00:04:55.340 Even though a piece of chicken

00:04:56.560 For example

00:04:57.120 Or a cube of sugar

00:04:58.540 In itself is not haram

00:04:59.760 But it can be haram

00:05:01.140 In certain situations

00:05:01.960 Yeah

00:05:03.000 And so there's lots of things like that

00:05:04.380 In general

00:05:05.060 When we talk about this issue here

00:05:06.760 To get straight into it

00:05:08.340 When we talk about

00:05:09.420 Secret second wives

00:05:10.180 There's no such thing

00:05:10.900 As secret second wives

00:05:12.080 In Islam

00:05:12.720 Because

00:05:13.600 There's no secrets

00:05:15.160 In nikah

00:05:16.000 You need to have

00:05:17.020 At least two witnesses

00:05:17.840 Okay

00:05:18.680 According to the majority

00:05:20.000 Of scholars

00:05:20.460 The Malikiya

00:05:21.700 They say you don't even

00:05:22.620 Need to have witnesses

00:05:23.460 They say it's mustahab

00:05:24.800 It's not wajib

00:05:25.420 For the most part

00:05:26.000 That's the school of thought

00:05:27.120 But they use the hadith

00:05:28.820 I'lan al-nikah

00:05:29.620 Or you have to

00:05:30.660 I'lan of the nikah

00:05:31.940 You have to

00:05:32.760 You know

00:05:33.480 Popularize it to the people

00:05:35.200 However

00:05:36.100 Having said that

00:05:36.740 It is very possible

00:05:37.500 For somebody to get

00:05:38.320 Married without telling

00:05:39.420 Their first wife

00:05:40.040 In Islam

00:05:40.440 As an abstract hokam

00:05:41.780 Why?

00:05:42.780 Because that is

00:05:43.300 There's no prerequisite

00:05:44.900 There's no conditioning

00:05:45.780 Ishtirat

00:05:46.620 There's no conditioning

00:05:47.420 According to any of the madahid

00:05:49.220 In fact

00:05:49.660 That a man needs to tell

00:05:51.180 His first wife

00:05:52.280 Or give permission

00:05:53.940 From her

00:05:54.660 Or anything like that

00:05:55.240 Yeah

00:05:55.420 In order for him to get a second

00:05:57.020 Practically though

00:05:58.560 The issue is

00:05:59.160 If he does it

00:06:00.640 Then he must

00:06:01.240 Now

00:06:01.660 And you think about it

00:06:02.940 If it's going to be

00:06:03.660 Completely equal

00:06:04.780 Polygamy

00:06:05.640 Which is the

00:06:06.460 Hustle of the situation

00:06:07.480 Then he's going to be

00:06:09.480 Having to at least

00:06:10.220 Divide the knights

00:06:10.920 Equally

00:06:11.320 Because in polygamy

00:06:11.940 You don't have to

00:06:13.200 Divide the

00:06:13.820 Bays equally

00:06:14.460 You divide the knights

00:06:15.460 Equally

00:06:16.420 And the knights

00:06:17.380 Have a very specific

00:06:18.160 Definition from

00:06:19.020 You know

00:06:19.300 Certain times

00:06:20.660 Now what I'm saying

00:06:22.560 Is now

00:06:23.020 The second wife

00:06:23.840 For this to actually

00:06:24.540 Be feasible

00:06:25.080 Where the first wife

00:06:25.780 Doesn't know

00:06:26.280 The second wife

00:06:27.880 Must do misyar

00:06:28.600 Really

00:06:28.920 For the most part

00:06:30.060 Misyar is

00:06:30.660 A kind of marriage

00:06:32.260 Where it's

00:06:32.840 A tanazul

00:06:33.480 An ba'd al huqouq

00:06:34.460 That she is

00:06:35.880 Voluntarily

00:06:36.660 Letting go

00:06:38.160 Of some of her rights

00:06:39.320 Forgoing her rights

00:06:40.820 And so

00:06:42.100 If she does that

00:06:43.360 And for example

00:06:43.840 She says to the man

00:06:44.640 Come to me

00:06:45.500 On such and such a day

00:06:46.460 On such and such a night

00:06:47.820 Or such and such a place

00:06:48.800 This is legitimate in Islam

00:06:50.060 In fact it has an asl in Islam

00:06:51.540 The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:06:52.900 Sauda ibn Tizam'a

00:06:53.680 Did this with him

00:06:54.280 She let go of her knights

00:06:55.660 For Aisha radiallahu anha

00:06:56.780 So it's not

00:06:57.360 Haram

00:06:58.660 In fact

00:06:59.040 You know

00:06:59.520 It's something the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

00:07:00.580 Did himself

00:07:01.160 So the question now is

00:07:03.080 Okay you've got other issues

00:07:04.100 Like inheritance

00:07:04.900 Because

00:07:05.960 The inheritance changes

00:07:07.540 You do have to actually

00:07:08.720 Change your inheritance

00:07:09.540 It's interesting

00:07:10.480 Because Ibn Jalzi

00:07:11.060 Mentioned this in one of his

00:07:12.080 Books

00:07:12.800 But I'll mention this afterwards

00:07:13.900 Of the secret second wife

00:07:15.420 And by the way

00:07:15.860 Scholars of the past

00:07:16.560 Did this

00:07:17.020 They married a woman

00:07:18.240 Without the first wife's knowledge

00:07:19.160 Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani

00:07:20.040 Married a

00:07:20.440 The big scholar

00:07:21.780 He married a woman

00:07:23.260 Her name was Unsi

00:07:24.040 Her first wife is called Unsi

00:07:25.660 She was a scholar in her own right

00:07:26.740 Hadith scholar

00:07:27.480 And even some western academics

00:07:30.380 Have written papers

00:07:31.680 Yusuf Rapopo

00:07:32.720 Wrote a paper about

00:07:34.240 The fact that he married

00:07:36.300 A second wife

00:07:37.280 Without

00:07:37.720 The first wife knowing

00:07:38.800 And he was asking the question

00:07:39.960 Why did he feel the need to do that

00:07:41.720 He was a very

00:07:42.200 If you want to put it in

00:07:43.040 Modern day terms

00:07:44.000 High value man

00:07:45.000 Very rich

00:07:45.920 He was the biggest scholar

00:07:47.140 Of Islam at that time

00:07:47.980 But he didn't tell

00:07:48.660 His first wife

00:07:49.360 In fact there's even

00:07:50.660 Ali radiallahu anhu

00:07:52.320 Ali radiallahu anhu

00:07:53.420 Didn't get married

00:07:54.240 To a second woman

00:07:55.160 But he

00:07:55.680 There's a hadith of Buraida

00:07:56.840 Buraida

00:07:58.180 There's a hadith

00:07:59.180 Where it says

00:07:59.540 That he went into

00:08:00.760 A particular

00:08:01.840 War

00:08:04.440 Or battle

00:08:05.480 Yeah

00:08:05.900 And he took

00:08:06.980 A prisoner of war

00:08:07.920 And he took

00:08:09.500 A prisoner of war

00:08:10.240 Who's very beautiful

00:08:10.980 Buraida wanted her as well

00:08:12.100 Okay

00:08:13.220 And then he says

00:08:13.780 Literally says

00:08:14.820 It's called the khums

00:08:16.620 So in the war booty

00:08:18.220 One fifth goes to

00:08:19.320 Like let's say

00:08:20.460 The state

00:08:21.480 And then the

00:08:23.200 Ahl al-bayt

00:08:24.000 Take one fifth of that

00:08:25.140 So because Ali

00:08:26.220 Is from Ahl al-bayt

00:08:26.860 He put her

00:08:27.680 Buraida

00:08:28.580 The jaria

00:08:29.700 In the fifth that he wanted

00:08:31.420 So Buraida was very angry

00:08:33.340 Because he wanted to be with that umu

00:08:34.460 Anyway

00:08:35.780 The point is

00:08:36.260 Is that

00:08:36.560 Buraida went to the Prophet

00:08:37.360 And the Prophet

00:08:38.840 He said

00:08:39.720 He endorsed

00:08:41.720 What Ali did

00:08:42.360 The point is

00:08:43.860 Fatima could never have known

00:08:45.140 That he did that

00:08:45.760 Because it was far away

00:08:47.960 From Fatima

00:08:48.800 Yeah

00:08:49.260 It was

00:08:50.120 It was not in Medina

00:08:51.460 They were not in Medina

00:08:52.300 So you've got two things

00:08:53.480 The Prophet

00:08:53.800 Endorsed it

00:08:55.160 Obviously it could be argued

00:08:56.400 That she wasn't a wife

00:08:57.280 Nevertheless

00:08:57.940 It's still

00:08:59.500 A polygamous

00:09:00.140 Sexual relationship

00:09:00.980 And it was clear

00:09:01.520 That he'd done

00:09:01.920 A sexual relationship

00:09:02.980 With her

00:09:03.300 Because the whole discussion

00:09:04.040 About him doing

00:09:05.080 Janaba and ghusl

00:09:06.240 And all these kinds of things

00:09:07.060 Moreover

00:09:07.700 Even the Prophet

00:09:08.380 Muhammad

00:09:08.600 Sallallahu himself

00:09:09.240 I mean there's a verse

00:09:10.600 In the Quran

00:09:10.960 If no one thought

00:09:14.380 About this verse

00:09:14.960 When the Prophet

00:09:16.180 He kept a secret

00:09:18.020 From some of his wives

00:09:19.060 Some scholars

00:09:20.540 I'm not going to go

00:09:21.260 Into detail

00:09:21.640 But some scholars

00:09:22.240 Actually connect this

00:09:22.920 With an incident

00:09:23.460 With Maria the Cop

00:09:25.140 And so on

00:09:25.780 I'm not going to go

00:09:27.780 Into detail

00:09:28.100 But the idea

00:09:28.940 Of actually

00:09:29.520 Not telling your husband

00:09:31.420 Or your wife

00:09:32.040 To be fair

00:09:32.480 Because the Hadith

00:09:33.180 In Muslim

00:09:34.040 That lying is not allowed

00:09:37.220 Except for three things

00:09:38.040 One of them is

00:09:39.660 That when a man

00:09:42.820 Speaks to his wife

00:09:43.660 And in Sahih Muslim

00:09:44.780 It says

00:09:45.020 And when a wife

00:09:45.480 Speaks to her

00:09:46.040 Husband

00:09:46.760 The white lies

00:09:48.520 It doesn't have to be white

00:09:49.760 It can be a black lie

00:09:50.720 Sorry to say

00:09:51.480 This idea of white lies

00:09:53.940 It's a modern day

00:09:55.220 Thing that people say

00:09:56.060 In the classical works

00:09:57.480 There's no differentiation

00:09:59.840 There here

00:10:00.540 In the Qutub

00:10:01.420 Like for example

00:10:02.220 That's not how

00:10:02.660 People understood

00:10:03.000 It can be

00:10:03.420 You can lie

00:10:04.020 To your spouse

00:10:05.060 In this situation

00:10:06.320 The issue of this

00:10:07.240 Is that

00:10:07.580 So can they lie

00:10:09.140 In the context

00:10:09.720 Of for example

00:10:10.280 If one says

00:10:11.020 I sense that

00:10:12.180 You've got a second wife

00:10:12.980 Can he say

00:10:13.880 No I don't

00:10:15.260 Yes you can

00:10:15.680 You can say that

00:10:16.240 You can say that

00:10:16.840 I personally believe

00:10:18.160 This is

00:10:18.560 The Hadith

00:10:19.420 On the Massah

00:10:19.820 The Prophet said

00:10:22.960 You can do it

00:10:24.180 I believe

00:10:25.160 It's possible

00:10:25.940 Now

00:10:26.200 Having said this

00:10:27.220 All

00:10:27.460 I said

00:10:28.780 This is the

00:10:29.080 Abstract ruling

00:10:29.740 Yes

00:10:30.140 But in implementation

00:10:32.140 Okay

00:10:33.080 Now do

00:10:34.240 Because

00:10:34.800 Like I said

00:10:35.560 The Hakum

00:10:36.000 Can take different

00:10:36.660 Rulings

00:10:37.120 Based on a

00:10:38.480 Personal

00:10:38.680 If someone does

00:10:39.580 This

00:10:39.900 And they get

00:10:40.860 Caught

00:10:41.200 For example

00:10:41.900 Or

00:10:42.900 Something happens

00:10:43.920 Or

00:10:44.960 She just asks him

00:10:47.860 Where were you

00:10:48.240 Last night

00:10:48.740 Yeah but even that

00:10:50.380 He can lie

00:10:50.800 So you are

00:10:52.440 Allowed to lie

00:10:53.100 Anything related

00:10:53.920 To the relationship

00:10:54.700 I believe

00:10:55.740 It's not anything

00:10:56.820 Because there are

00:10:57.400 Some things

00:10:57.720 You can never

00:10:58.060 Lie about

00:10:58.340 In Islam

00:10:58.640 Yeah

00:10:59.200 For example

00:11:00.020 You can never

00:11:00.420 Lie about

00:11:00.680 The religion

00:11:01.000 Of Islam

00:11:01.360 You can never

00:11:02.620 Lie about

00:11:03.100 Something which

00:11:03.580 Relates to

00:11:03.900 The rights

00:11:04.280 Of the person

00:11:04.740 You can never

00:11:05.780 Lie about

00:11:06.140 Something that

00:11:06.460 Relates to

00:11:06.780 Vested interests

00:11:07.840 Like the children

00:11:08.340 For example

00:11:08.840 There's things

00:11:09.960 You can never

00:11:10.340 Lie about

00:11:10.720 But I believe

00:11:12.340 Yes you can

00:11:12.920 Are you saying

00:11:14.200 In the context

00:11:14.680 Of for example

00:11:15.220 It's going to

00:11:16.260 Ruin the family

00:11:17.340 Unit

00:11:17.660 So he's lying

00:11:18.180 To protect his family

00:11:18.920 Look

00:11:20.040 I'm saying to you

00:11:20.720 I don't recommend this

00:11:21.600 But we started off

00:11:23.620 By saying

00:11:24.040 That there's two things

00:11:25.000 There's one aspect

00:11:25.780 Which is jurisprudential

00:11:26.640 And another aspect

00:11:28.000 Which is

00:11:28.560 Application

00:11:29.440 Jurisprudential

00:11:30.440 The man can do it

00:11:31.160 It's up to the man

00:11:31.960 No woman can take

00:11:33.340 That right amount

00:11:33.880 Away from the man

00:11:34.800 It's impossible

00:11:35.480 So let's say

00:11:36.120 It's not that it's right

00:11:36.760 Yeah

00:11:36.920 So that Islamically

00:11:37.920 Any of us

00:11:39.540 Can get a secret

00:11:40.700 Second wife

00:11:41.220 Absolutely

00:11:41.540 Or any man

00:11:42.040 For that

00:11:42.240 Not secret

00:11:42.680 We can get

00:11:43.360 Islamically

00:11:44.400 There is no problem

00:11:45.700 In a man

00:11:46.520 Getting married

00:11:47.120 To another woman

00:11:47.840 In Misyar

00:11:48.360 Without the first wife's knowledge

00:11:49.900 However

00:11:50.560 The question is

00:11:51.320 And there's no

00:11:52.440 There's no khilaf in this

00:11:53.300 There's no

00:11:54.360 Actually

00:11:54.720 I've not seen

00:11:55.480 One solitary

00:11:56.820 Difference of opinion

00:11:57.580 In any

00:11:58.800 Of the 14 generations

00:12:00.980 That's not there

00:12:02.340 Which is

00:12:03.040 Any scholar saying

00:12:03.940 That no

00:12:04.240 A woman needs to know

00:12:05.000 She needs to tell her

00:12:05.940 It doesn't exist

00:12:06.940 Yeah that's it

00:12:07.440 Having said that

00:12:08.860 Do I recommend it

00:12:10.300 No I don't recommend it

00:12:11.240 In general

00:12:11.480 No we'll come to it

00:12:12.200 We'll come

00:12:12.420 Hold you

00:12:12.680 Why do I recommend it

00:12:14.320 Okay guys

00:12:15.560 After this show

00:12:17.100 If you see any of us

00:12:18.220 Dead

00:12:18.520 Please come to our janazah

00:12:19.480 Please make du'a for us

00:12:21.240 And Sadaqajari

00:12:21.920 Sorry perhaps one more thing

00:12:23.060 Yes please

00:12:23.420 We're talking about

00:12:24.240 The religion of Islam

00:12:25.000 Like you know

00:12:26.120 Allah says

00:12:26.540 I'm not here to

00:12:28.880 Would you respect

00:12:29.760 I don't prostrate myself

00:12:31.120 To the emotions of

00:12:32.200 Women or men

00:12:33.220 Or anyone else

00:12:33.760 I'm speaking about

00:12:34.900 The religion

00:12:35.260 This is a ruling

00:12:35.880 We cannot distort

00:12:37.780 The rulings

00:12:38.260 There's an ayah in the Quran

00:12:39.100 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:12:39.760 Says to the Prophet

00:12:40.260 That you know

00:12:41.600 Are you going to

00:12:42.500 Make something

00:12:43.320 Which is haram for you

00:12:44.280 Halal for you

00:12:45.080 Haram

00:12:45.580 Because of the fear

00:12:46.260 Of your wives

00:12:46.700 That's a very deep statement

00:12:47.920 That could be

00:12:48.660 To make your wives

00:12:50.280 Pleased with you

00:12:51.000 Exactly

00:12:51.380 Yeah so I believe

00:12:52.440 Brothers should fear Allah

00:12:53.320 More than their wives

00:12:54.060 But having said that

00:12:55.320 You guys heard it

00:12:56.040 I mean please tell me

00:12:57.580 I don't think

00:12:58.360 Let me just

00:12:58.660 I think there's

00:12:59.180 Bil-Ijma

00:12:59.620 Meaning there's consensus

00:13:00.860 That none of you guys

00:13:02.500 Are okay with your

00:13:03.180 Husbands getting a second wife

00:13:04.900 Can I just quickly

00:13:05.420 Just get that out of the way

00:13:06.120 Sister Suad

00:13:06.760 Absolutely not

00:13:08.700 You're not okay with it

00:13:09.500 Yeah

00:13:09.620 Sister

00:13:10.440 It's a no from me

00:13:11.840 And if you have anything to say

00:13:13.420 Say it now

00:13:14.080 Sister Amira

00:13:16.940 Yeah no

00:13:18.240 No

00:13:18.500 Sister Tara

00:13:19.460 I won't be happy with it

00:13:20.800 Okay she won't be happy with it

00:13:21.600 Okay now listen

00:13:22.420 I like that response

00:13:23.340 Now listen

00:13:23.700 Yeah Amir Ab listen

00:13:24.420 Now listen to us brothers

00:13:25.480 Okay starting from Dawood

00:13:26.680 Would you say you are

00:13:28.020 Polygamist by nature

00:13:28.860 Hey we had this conversation before

00:13:31.060 Can we have you on the mic please

00:13:32.020 I disagree with you

00:13:33.260 No no no

00:13:33.820 I'm just asking a simple question

00:13:34.500 Let's not go into the nitty gritty

00:13:35.300 All I'm saying is

00:13:35.980 I'm not going to say

00:13:37.140 I'm polygamist by nature

00:13:38.300 I'll say that

00:13:39.100 Bro bro bro

00:13:39.800 Let me answer the question again

00:13:41.120 Yeah

00:13:41.320 If your wife

00:13:42.980 Was totally okay with it

00:13:45.560 Yeah

00:13:45.800 Zero problems

00:13:47.500 You come back home

00:13:48.820 And she's cooking a meal bruv

00:13:50.180 You just got married

00:13:50.740 Yeah

00:13:51.120 Would you get a second wife

00:13:52.260 Yeah

00:13:52.500 Okay

00:13:52.980 No we're going to miss the brother

00:13:54.840 Because we don't want to

00:13:55.380 Look okay

00:13:58.000 We're just saying this

00:13:59.580 Within our nature

00:14:00.320 Just be careful Saj

00:14:01.700 Be careful

00:14:02.200 Just joke to Saj

00:14:02.620 Yeah

00:14:02.880 If you die we loved you

00:14:04.940 Yeah

00:14:05.160 For the cause yeah

00:14:06.180 Okay brothers

00:14:07.060 Okay

00:14:07.520 What I'm just saying is that

00:14:08.720 As a man

00:14:09.380 Would you not say you are

00:14:10.220 Polygamist by nature

00:14:10.940 It doesn't mean you have to

00:14:11.720 Act up on it

00:14:12.320 But would you not say that

00:14:14.300 Every man is polygamist

00:14:16.040 By nature

00:14:16.880 That if their wives

00:14:17.960 Were totally okay with it

00:14:19.100 No consequences

00:14:20.160 That they would do it

00:14:21.760 I don't think I would

00:14:23.700 Aww

00:14:24.500 No no no no

00:14:25.980 No no

00:14:26.560 One second one second

00:14:27.360 One second one second

00:14:27.980 One second one second

00:14:28.040 Because the thing is

00:14:29.260 I work on the doors

00:14:31.280 Guys one second

00:14:32.700 Well the thing is

00:14:33.120 I work on the doors

00:14:34.200 Because there's conflict of interest

00:14:35.220 Yeah yeah

00:14:35.740 I work on the doors

00:14:36.760 I work on the doors

00:14:38.120 Okay

00:14:38.740 The thing is

00:14:39.340 I work on the doors

00:14:40.160 Because there's so many women

00:14:40.980 Out there

00:14:41.420 But the thing is

00:14:42.140 It doesn't do nothing for me

00:14:43.400 No no we know that

00:14:44.220 Look I have no doubt about that

00:14:45.440 What I'm saying is the following

00:14:46.240 Aki yeah

00:14:46.640 The reason I'm saying this

00:14:49.180 Yeah and we need to be

00:14:49.900 Brutally honest yeah

00:14:50.880 The reason I'm saying this

00:14:51.760 You know why

00:14:52.140 Because sisters are under

00:14:53.640 The impression

00:14:54.140 That there is a man out there

00:14:56.000 That is

00:14:57.340 Not polygamous

00:14:58.420 I believe

00:14:59.260 But that's true

00:15:00.100 That can be true

00:15:01.000 Anyone that thinks

00:15:02.180 That is delusional

00:15:02.960 No it is true

00:15:03.880 Not every man

00:15:05.260 Is a polygamous

00:15:05.960 One second one second

00:15:07.500 Look let me tell you something

00:15:08.280 If they brought a lie detector test

00:15:09.800 Right now this second

00:15:11.180 No no no one second

00:15:12.200 You know why

00:15:12.760 No no no no

00:15:14.240 Listen listen listen

00:15:17.520 If they put me

00:15:18.500 Hijab

00:15:18.980 Brother Siltage

00:15:19.600 The word on lie detector test

00:15:21.020 And they said the following questions

00:15:22.500 Do you love your wife

00:15:23.940 Yes

00:15:24.600 Pass

00:15:25.260 Would you die for her

00:15:26.440 Yes

00:15:26.840 Pass

00:15:27.380 If your wife was okay

00:15:28.900 Would you get a second wife

00:15:29.660 Yes pass

00:15:30.980 There is not

00:15:32.620 A conflict between

00:15:34.000 A man loving his wife

00:15:35.660 And a man

00:15:37.160 Wanting to be polygamous

00:15:38.540 I agree

00:15:39.080 And this is very important

00:15:40.340 If we're going to

00:15:41.120 And I'm not saying

00:15:41.680 I hear you out here

00:15:42.840 But what I'm saying is

00:15:44.120 Listen listen

00:15:47.100 Let's pass you

00:15:47.720 Okay

00:15:48.000 Let's pass you

00:15:48.820 Because we're here to

00:15:49.480 Make my soul

00:15:50.260 What are you trying to say

00:15:51.300 That every man

00:15:52.160 Would want to

00:15:53.780 Yes

00:15:54.260 Men are polygamous by nature

00:15:56.020 Women are jealous by nature

00:15:57.380 I believe

00:15:57.920 Men are polygamous by nature

00:15:59.640 Thank you

00:16:00.000 They are

00:16:00.680 They are how we've are

00:16:01.780 Guys

00:16:02.420 Guys

00:16:02.920 Guys

00:16:03.300 Guys

00:16:03.920 Guys

00:16:04.160 We can hear you

00:16:04.700 Please

00:16:04.960 Please

00:16:05.380 Forgive me

00:16:06.000 Because it's coming

00:16:06.800 At the back of the mic

00:16:07.420 Please forgive me

00:16:07.920 I'm going to stop the issue

00:16:09.180 I haven't

00:16:09.500 This is

00:16:09.920 The reason why I started the show

00:16:11.580 And I called it

00:16:12.000 Bitter Truth for a reason

00:16:12.820 Is because

00:16:13.440 At the end

00:16:13.680 Look my wife is here

00:16:14.460 She's a co-producer

00:16:15.180 Okay

00:16:15.440 If I went to my wife

00:16:16.700 And said

00:16:16.960 If I got married again

00:16:17.620 She would say

00:16:18.200 Of my dick body

00:16:18.860 I don't want it

00:16:19.680 I understand that

00:16:20.920 And any woman that says

00:16:21.880 She's not

00:16:22.580 She's okay with it

00:16:23.560 I'll say

00:16:24.020 I'm so sorry

00:16:24.420 You're not

00:16:24.680 Because the best of the women

00:16:25.860 Who are believers

00:16:26.400 Smashed plates

00:16:27.600 Literally smashed plates

00:16:28.920 Yeah

00:16:29.100 Now the point is the following though

00:16:30.840 The reason you're saying that sister

00:16:32.740 Is why

00:16:33.420 Because

00:16:33.800 We as men

00:16:34.920 We are

00:16:35.580 And the studies that show this

00:16:37.120 We are created in a way

00:16:39.700 Of procreating

00:16:40.680 For example

00:16:41.320 If for example

00:16:42.960 There was four men left on earth

00:16:44.420 Yeah

00:16:44.580 And that was it

00:16:46.020 Yeah

00:16:46.180 They can start a new generation

00:16:48.020 Those four men

00:16:49.080 They can

00:16:49.440 Forgive me

00:16:50.000 Just for educational purposes

00:16:50.820 Yeah

00:16:50.960 They can impregnate

00:16:51.960 Thousands of women

00:16:52.820 That's within our nature

00:16:54.520 But if a woman

00:16:55.780 There was four women left on this planet

00:16:57.080 Yeah

00:16:57.740 They're finished

00:16:58.860 Because you're given birth

00:16:59.960 Nine months

00:17:00.460 You're out the game

00:17:01.240 So the point I'm saying

00:17:02.280 When it comes to

00:17:02.980 The evolution

00:17:03.940 And a few other factors

00:17:06.120 The point I'm trying to say

00:17:07.280 Is the following

00:17:07.680 Like you know

00:17:08.920 When it comes to survival

00:17:10.040 You have to procreate

00:17:11.400 Yeah

00:17:11.560 Every man is polygamous by nature

00:17:14.620 In the context where

00:17:15.460 Because you guys are monogamous by nature

00:17:18.200 Meaning

00:17:18.520 You are

00:17:19.080 You just want your husband

00:17:20.420 And you're happy with your husband

00:17:21.260 We are not created like that

00:17:22.840 And anyone that says

00:17:24.280 They are

00:17:24.880 Vice versa

00:17:26.280 And this is the reason

00:17:27.400 Why we started the show

00:17:28.140 Get to know us better

00:17:29.380 Understand us men

00:17:30.560 This is in our blood

00:17:31.780 Okay

00:17:32.080 Now

00:17:32.740 Coming back to you

00:17:34.300 You can just say it

00:17:35.860 Just say it

00:17:36.380 I know what you mean

00:17:38.260 No what I mean is

00:17:39.080 That in our nature

00:17:39.860 This doesn't mean

00:17:40.400 It is in our nature

00:17:41.280 Yeah

00:17:41.520 Ali can you reframe the question

00:17:43.600 Okay I'm so sorry

00:17:44.520 So can you

00:17:45.060 One second guys

00:17:46.660 One second

00:17:46.980 Guys from there

00:17:47.840 Please

00:17:48.140 You let my wife know

00:17:49.380 And then for me

00:17:49.920 And then I'll come to you guys

00:17:50.600 Can you reframe the question

00:17:52.340 To the brothers

00:17:53.260 And say

00:17:53.780 That if your wife agreed

00:17:55.880 And she's happy

00:17:56.800 Would you like to

00:17:58.940 Look I get the polygamous part

00:18:00.440 I get the whole

00:18:01.320 Wanting to have more

00:18:03.080 Intimacy with more than one woman

00:18:04.600 Yeah

00:18:04.880 But if you can ask the question

00:18:06.400 More accurately

00:18:08.120 That take on another wife

00:18:10.120 And all the responsibilities

00:18:11.300 That come with another wife

00:18:12.880 Good

00:18:13.160 How many men

00:18:14.060 Will agree to that

00:18:14.940 Good you know what

00:18:15.700 And that's

00:18:16.100 I'll tell you with my husband

00:18:18.060 He's made it very clear

00:18:19.100 In that

00:18:19.640 Yeah

00:18:19.900 That you know

00:18:20.900 The headache and the stress

00:18:22.280 Not that I give him

00:18:23.080 Headache and stress

00:18:23.880 But just he's so content

00:18:25.380 In our relationship

00:18:26.260 Okay

00:18:26.740 He wouldn't see himself

00:18:28.260 You know

00:18:28.920 Engaged in another

00:18:29.980 That because

00:18:30.480 Okay okay

00:18:31.080 Let me put this here

00:18:32.360 This is the reason

00:18:32.960 Why the topic is

00:18:33.560 Secret second wives

00:18:34.280 Is the question

00:18:35.080 That needs to be asked

00:18:35.620 Is that

00:18:36.160 Why are men

00:18:37.660 Even

00:18:38.260 Choosing

00:18:39.560 To make it secret

00:18:40.880 And the whole reason

00:18:42.320 Is because

00:18:43.320 If your husband

00:18:44.760 Is to come to you

00:18:45.480 And say

00:18:45.940 Hmm

00:18:46.960 I want to get married again

00:18:48.440 And I want to do it properly

00:18:49.800 Yeah

00:18:50.060 Now I say to the sisters

00:18:51.340 If you don't want your husband

00:18:52.980 To get a second wife

00:18:53.880 You

00:18:54.600 Tell him

00:18:55.720 That if he's going to get

00:18:56.720 A second wife

00:18:57.300 He has to do it properly

00:18:58.280 Meaning

00:18:58.700 Which is why

00:18:59.480 And let me tell you something

00:19:00.020 If you don't want your husband

00:19:00.780 To get a second wife

00:19:01.400 Implement this

00:19:01.980 Yeah

00:19:02.140 You tell him

00:19:03.180 You're going to marry her

00:19:03.860 You're going to do

00:19:04.460 A wulima for her

00:19:05.000 You're going to get her mahar

00:19:05.800 You're going to get

00:19:06.480 All of this stuff

00:19:06.980 You know what he'll say

00:19:07.460 He'll say

00:19:07.700 Bro that's long

00:19:08.520 Absolutely

00:19:09.120 But if there are men

00:19:10.700 Out there who can do that

00:19:11.760 The question I want to ask

00:19:12.900 You guys is

00:19:13.360 What is the right way

00:19:15.020 So men don't go

00:19:16.080 Behind their wives back

00:19:16.960 Why are they keeping it secret

00:19:17.940 Because they are scared

00:19:19.020 Of the consequences

00:19:19.820 Not seeing their kids

00:19:20.880 Being kicked out

00:19:21.880 Being black

00:19:22.400 These are major sins by the way

00:19:23.400 Not showing your kids

00:19:24.300 I know brothers

00:19:25.060 Who have been divorced

00:19:25.800 And not seeing their kids

00:19:26.880 Because they wanted to get

00:19:27.800 Second wife

00:19:28.340 This is dhulm

00:19:29.720 On the day of judgment

00:19:30.420 Are you mad

00:19:30.920 Something he did halal

00:19:32.220 Understand

00:19:32.680 It's emotional

00:19:33.220 You're upset

00:19:33.780 You are stopping him

00:19:35.140 From seeing his kids

00:19:35.880 You are now going to the law

00:19:37.200 Bro we had brothers here

00:19:38.220 We had fathers here

00:19:38.960 Accused of paedophilia

00:19:40.820 With their kids

00:19:41.500 Because of a bitter wife

00:19:43.160 I'm asking a simple question

00:19:44.360 I think that's

00:19:44.940 Bill Ijma here

00:19:45.540 You guys would never want it

00:19:46.780 We would definitely

00:19:48.080 But there are ways

00:19:50.220 That women

00:19:50.960 Can implement

00:19:52.020 Where a husband

00:19:53.740 Cannot

00:19:54.620 Marry a second wife

00:19:55.980 If he agrees

00:19:57.060 And signs

00:19:57.820 On the day of the nikah

00:19:59.500 He cannot

00:20:00.500 He cannot then

00:20:01.800 Go and get a secret wife

00:20:03.160 That's the hanbali madhab

00:20:03.800 But if somebody doesn't believe

00:20:04.660 That it's battered

00:20:05.200 He doesn't even acknowledge

00:20:06.200 And also

00:20:07.500 Yes yes yes

00:20:08.980 I'm going to give it to you

00:20:10.060 But after him

00:20:11.520 I want to ask you guys a question

00:20:12.500 Please can you tell us

00:20:13.460 The correct way

00:20:14.300 Of going about it

00:20:15.060 So it's not secret

00:20:15.840 But this is

00:20:17.020 What she said

00:20:17.520 There's truth in what she said

00:20:18.840 It's actually mentioned

00:20:24.340 In all the books

00:20:24.940 Of the Hanbal

00:20:25.800 Ibn Khudamah mentions that

00:20:28.060 What do you call it

00:20:29.060 Amr Dawi mentions that

00:20:29.940 Al-Hajjawi mentions it

00:20:30.640 Even Zal-Mustaqma

00:20:31.360 Amr Musa Al-Hajjawi mentions it

00:20:33.540 So many people mention it

00:20:34.420 Bahuti

00:20:34.840 So this is

00:20:36.500 What you're saying

00:20:37.260 Is legitimate

00:20:37.860 In fact

00:20:38.580 If someone puts in the contract

00:20:40.820 Maybe I should

00:20:41.580 Give in all

00:20:42.200 No you should

00:20:42.760 Give the tips

00:20:43.340 No no no

00:20:43.800 Even if she gives the brothers

00:20:45.780 It's a bitter truth

00:20:47.760 We're giving

00:20:48.180 We're giving all the

00:20:49.560 Funny enough

00:20:51.300 Funny enough

00:20:52.520 I'm Hanbali myself

00:20:53.300 I'm Maliki

00:20:55.680 But all the other

00:20:57.840 Madhaib actually

00:20:58.460 Don't agree with this

00:20:59.220 And the reason why

00:21:00.220 Is they bring it

00:21:00.740 There's a hadith

00:21:01.280 That says

00:21:02.560 That any condition

00:21:06.200 That is not

00:21:06.860 In the book of Allah

00:21:08.520 Then it's nullified

00:21:09.520 So they say

00:21:10.660 That this is a

00:21:11.500 Incorrect

00:21:12.060 So the Hanafis

00:21:12.600 Don't accept this

00:21:13.100 And Shafah

00:21:13.420 Don't accept this

00:21:14.020 And the Maliki

00:21:14.420 Don't accept this

00:21:15.060 So if the woman

00:21:15.900 Is Hanbali

00:21:16.500 For example

00:21:17.080 She puts this agreement

00:21:18.220 And he's not this thing

00:21:19.580 No but

00:21:21.720 He's not this thing

00:21:22.540 He doesn't

00:21:22.860 It's all about

00:21:23.300 What he believes in

00:21:23.900 If he doesn't believe in it

00:21:24.660 It might not be

00:21:25.680 Voracious

00:21:26.620 However

00:21:26.960 I would put to this

00:21:28.020 I would add to it

00:21:28.740 The Prophet

00:21:29.420 Did say

00:21:30.080 Muslims are upon

00:21:32.500 Their condition

00:21:33.040 Which is

00:21:34.040 All you who believe

00:21:37.300 Fulfill the contract

00:21:39.320 So if a man

00:21:40.940 Does sign something

00:21:41.560 Like that

00:21:41.980 I would personally

00:21:43.240 Believe it's an

00:21:43.720 Obligation for him

00:21:44.460 To honour that

00:21:46.300 Having said that

00:21:47.960 Once again

00:21:48.940 It goes back to

00:21:49.400 Him that he's

00:21:49.780 Following

00:21:49.980 So if he's not

00:21:50.880 Following that

00:21:51.300 Particular school of thought

00:21:52.240 If he is

00:21:53.780 If he isn't

00:21:54.280 That's something else

00:21:54.980 So that's just

00:21:56.080 I think that's a good point

00:21:57.300 Before we slide away

00:21:59.140 Because I feel like

00:21:59.900 The first question

00:22:01.200 That was asked

00:22:01.920 About

00:22:02.420 Is secret

00:22:04.780 Is it okay

00:22:05.900 To have a secret

00:22:06.520 I would love

00:22:07.460 To go back there

00:22:08.220 I mean

00:22:09.120 I think

00:22:09.500 I haven't

00:22:11.260 Personally looked into it

00:22:12.340 So I'll take your word

00:22:13.460 So I don't know

00:22:14.360 That might be

00:22:14.860 A different opinion

00:22:15.520 I don't know

00:22:16.060 I take what

00:22:17.260 Hijab said

00:22:17.900 About like

00:22:19.180 That it's

00:22:19.880 Like agreed upon

00:22:20.900 That you

00:22:21.400 You shouldn't

00:22:22.280 That it's okay

00:22:23.060 To do a secret

00:22:23.720 But I would love

00:22:24.780 To speak about

00:22:25.680 The implications

00:22:26.460 That it has a bit more

00:22:28.040 Because it's

00:22:28.840 Something I feel like

00:22:30.400 That we didn't

00:22:32.500 Really discuss

00:22:33.060 Because

00:22:33.420 Because the implication

00:22:35.280 Here is

00:22:35.840 That

00:22:36.540 The secret

00:22:38.000 Like okay

00:22:38.940 Obviously nothing

00:22:40.020 Is really secret

00:22:40.980 Again you can't

00:22:42.020 Have a secret wife

00:22:42.700 Per se

00:22:43.140 Because

00:22:43.560 Yeah it's

00:22:45.300 Marriage

00:22:46.500 In Islam

00:22:47.380 The way

00:22:47.880 It's constructed

00:22:49.600 Yeah but let's

00:22:50.320 Not sugar coat it

00:22:51.440 It's a secret

00:22:52.300 From the first wife

00:22:53.580 I'm gonna

00:22:54.280 Do you know what I mean

00:22:54.900 I'm gonna get that

00:22:55.640 I'm gonna get that

00:22:56.240 Yeah but this is

00:22:56.900 The whole thing

00:22:57.480 May I finish

00:22:58.200 May I finish

00:22:58.620 Because

00:22:59.020 You can use a buzzer

00:22:59.980 It's a secret

00:23:00.680 From the first wife

00:23:01.560 Yeah but

00:23:01.880 I'm trying to take it

00:23:03.140 Elsewhere

00:23:03.440 I'm trying to go deep

00:23:04.360 I wanna go deep

00:23:04.980 I wanna go deep

00:23:05.580 So what I'm trying to say

00:23:06.620 Is that

00:23:07.180 Islam

00:23:09.020 In the way that Islam

00:23:09.900 Has constructed marriage

00:23:11.460 Is marriage is

00:23:12.140 Like a communal thing

00:23:13.240 So

00:23:13.580 There's always

00:23:14.400 Other people involved

00:23:15.400 But

00:23:16.500 It will be a secret

00:23:18.040 To the

00:23:18.900 Person that

00:23:19.780 Matters the most

00:23:20.740 Which is the wife

00:23:21.480 Right

00:23:22.180 And I don't think that

00:23:23.900 That causes

00:23:25.540 Cohesion

00:23:26.480 In the long term

00:23:28.060 In a society

00:23:29.220 Imagine

00:23:29.620 If we were to live

00:23:30.740 In a society

00:23:31.260 Where there's a

00:23:31.760 Considerable amount

00:23:32.440 Of men

00:23:33.160 Who do this

00:23:34.320 And there's so many

00:23:35.760 Implications that

00:23:36.700 Come out of it

00:23:37.360 The children out of

00:23:38.440 Those marriages

00:23:39.040 Do they know

00:23:40.320 That they're siblings

00:23:41.100 Thank you

00:23:41.940 I'm so glad

00:23:43.020 You've mentioned

00:23:43.500 Children

00:23:44.020 Yes true

00:23:45.980 But why

00:23:46.480 Is the man

00:23:47.000 Keeping a secret

00:23:47.560 I'm just gonna finish

00:23:48.500 I'm just gonna finish

00:23:49.620 Why is the man

00:23:50.820 Keeping a secret

00:23:51.460 And I'm gonna get there

00:23:52.880 And I'm with you

00:23:53.720 On that one

00:23:54.180 I'm just saying that

00:23:55.440 For those brothers

00:23:57.000 Who do these things

00:23:58.120 You just always

00:23:58.940 You must understand

00:23:59.840 That

00:24:00.120 The pain

00:24:01.480 And

00:24:01.940 The misery

00:24:03.560 That could be

00:24:04.700 A byproduct

00:24:05.260 Of this thing

00:24:06.040 Is

00:24:06.840 Tremendous

00:24:07.680 And therefore

00:24:09.240 I wouldn't

00:24:10.280 Like I said

00:24:10.760 There's a very important point

00:24:13.360 You mentioned the kids

00:24:14.140 That's an important point

00:24:15.300 Inheritance is another

00:24:15.960 Important point

00:24:16.440 These are two things

00:24:17.100 You can't really

00:24:17.460 Because actually

00:24:18.300 The messiah thing

00:24:19.160 You cannot actually

00:24:19.820 Tenezzle

00:24:20.240 On inheritance

00:24:21.800 It's not

00:24:23.180 You cannot forego

00:24:24.740 That right

00:24:25.120 As a woman

00:24:26.160 Yes

00:24:27.060 You know you're allowed

00:24:28.100 To forego rights

00:24:28.740 You're not allowed

00:24:29.100 To forego your inheritance

00:24:30.020 So it poses an issue here

00:24:32.180 So the guy has to

00:24:33.480 Kind of put her

00:24:33.960 On inheritance

00:24:34.420 Or whatever

00:24:34.800 That's one issue

00:24:35.420 The other issue is

00:24:36.660 Like we said

00:24:37.460 The children

00:24:37.900 If there's children

00:24:39.080 From both wives

00:24:39.880 And they're in the same proximity

00:24:41.140 And there is some level

00:24:42.340 Of possibility

00:24:43.240 That they could

00:24:43.800 Co-mingle

00:24:45.240 Then that could be

00:24:46.440 Completely haram

00:24:47.240 For them

00:24:47.560 For that to happen

00:24:48.280 Because now

00:24:48.780 The implication

00:24:49.520 Is incest

00:24:50.420 And all that kind of stuff

00:24:50.960 Exactly

00:24:51.260 So this is

00:24:52.180 This is one thing

00:24:52.900 But having said this

00:24:54.540 You know

00:24:55.180 And I agree with what he said

00:24:56.500 This is

00:24:56.880 What we're talking about

00:24:57.660 Is an exceptional circumstance

00:24:58.820 That Sharia doesn't want this

00:24:59.860 It's clear that

00:25:01.100 The Sharia wants

00:25:01.920 People to know about marriages

00:25:03.460 It's clear that Sharia wants

00:25:04.920 There to be

00:25:05.500 A transparency in the equation

00:25:07.020 That everyone is given

00:25:08.080 It's clear that

00:25:08.920 The Sharia doesn't want this

00:25:10.140 It's clear that

00:25:11.280 These are the exceptional circumstances

00:25:13.000 So we shouldn't make it

00:25:13.740 The default

00:25:14.840 Having said that

00:25:16.780 Why?

00:25:17.040 We're living in an age now

00:25:18.340 Where frankly

00:25:20.300 The woman has the state backing

00:25:22.800 Like for instance

00:25:24.580 If a woman

00:25:25.060 If the woman goes

00:25:26.180 And says

00:25:26.720 That a man has raped me

00:25:28.480 Or that he has

00:25:29.400 Molested the child

00:25:30.720 Or that he's been domestic

00:25:31.880 He can

00:25:32.600 There's a chance

00:25:33.360 That he can never see

00:25:34.380 The children again

00:25:35.260 Like for example

00:25:36.560 The .gov website

00:25:37.820 I was reading recently

00:25:39.020 Just now

00:25:39.480 Like two days ago

00:25:40.640 They're now expanding

00:25:43.360 The definition of abuse

00:25:44.980 They said abuse

00:25:46.200 I can send this to you

00:25:47.060 Abuse includes

00:25:48.280 In controlling behaviour

00:25:51.240 Now controlling behaviour

00:25:52.860 What does that

00:25:53.700 It's so vague

00:25:54.460 That it actually slides into

00:25:56.400 Some of the traditionalist discourse

00:25:57.600 If you think about it

00:25:58.660 Controlling behaviour

00:25:59.860 It's said in the .gov website

00:26:01.740 That it is on par

00:26:03.060 With physical violence

00:26:04.080 And if a man does it

00:26:05.040 He can be on the sexual register

00:26:07.700 Sorry

00:26:08.220 I was on a documentary

00:26:09.740 For the BBC

00:26:10.560 And it's called

00:26:11.920 Is this coercive control

00:26:13.480 And when we speak

00:26:16.200 Of coercive control

00:26:17.260 The reason why

00:26:18.220 It can be equated

00:26:19.660 To physical violence

00:26:20.880 Is because of

00:26:22.540 The amount of damage

00:26:24.440 That can happen

00:26:25.980 Coercive control

00:26:27.100 Although it doesn't seem

00:26:29.000 Like dangerous

00:26:30.660 I know what you're saying

00:26:32.040 Of course

00:26:32.500 Amira

00:26:33.360 From what I wrote

00:26:35.080 From the document

00:26:35.600 It used two keywords

00:26:36.740 In self

00:26:38.120 Like it was self-contained

00:26:40.320 Two different sentences

00:26:41.520 Coercion was one word

00:26:42.940 And control was another word

00:26:44.860 What you're doing now

00:26:45.820 Is using both words

00:26:46.440 No but they are one thing

00:26:47.720 So coercive control

00:26:49.120 Is one

00:26:49.940 It is one

00:26:50.900 It is one

00:26:51.720 Crime

00:26:52.320 No no

00:26:52.740 The reason

00:26:53.200 They're not the same

00:26:54.080 Because in the dictionary

00:26:54.800 You'll see coercion means

00:26:55.820 To force someone to do something

00:26:56.840 Control is not necessarily

00:26:58.420 It can have a wider meaning

00:26:59.600 Right

00:27:00.040 So what I'm saying is

00:27:01.100 Controlling behaviour

00:27:02.320 You can say my mum

00:27:03.020 Had controlling behaviour of me

00:27:04.140 She was controlling

00:27:04.760 You cannot say that she had

00:27:06.380 Coercive behaviour

00:27:07.100 That means that

00:27:07.660 She forced you to do something

00:27:08.680 What I'm saying is that

00:27:10.020 We're not talking about

00:27:10.640 Forcing someone to do something

00:27:11.660 Like putting them in a house

00:27:13.440 And locking them

00:27:13.920 We are talking about

00:27:14.820 A situation

00:27:15.820 Where someone is telling

00:27:17.380 Someone else what to do

00:27:18.220 Which you can see

00:27:19.760 That leads into

00:27:20.620 Ta'a and obedience

00:27:21.600 And that kind of thing

00:27:22.240 Which that could be seen

00:27:23.220 As controlling

00:27:23.680 So what I'm saying is that

00:27:24.760 Consider the things

00:27:26.720 At the man's disposal

00:27:27.520 As a Muslim man

00:27:28.560 He's got ta'a

00:27:29.640 Okay

00:27:30.380 Ta'a means obedience

00:27:32.340 These are the things

00:27:33.780 That a man has

00:27:34.220 He's got talaq

00:27:35.300 Or she can do fash

00:27:36.260 Or he can do it quicker

00:27:37.520 Even she can do fash

00:27:39.460 Right

00:27:39.720 And then he's got

00:27:40.860 The financial thing

00:27:42.180 Where he can reduce

00:27:43.120 According to all the mudahe

00:27:44.060 I'm not sure all of them

00:27:46.380 Definitely the hamd

00:27:46.920 He can

00:27:48.300 If she's being bad

00:27:49.300 She can take money

00:27:50.080 Away from her

00:27:50.540 I'm not sure if you know this

00:27:52.420 If she's nasty

00:27:53.320 Now if you do one and two

00:27:55.340 This can be seen

00:27:56.720 In this country

00:27:57.360 As abuse

00:27:59.320 So if she has evidence of that

00:28:01.820 And she's got the stake backing

00:28:03.300 If he tries to impose

00:28:05.120 His masculinity

00:28:05.840 Or his Islamic

00:28:06.840 You know

00:28:08.040 Abilities on her

00:28:08.840 Then she can respond

00:28:09.960 In a malicious manner

00:28:11.160 Which is why I would say

00:28:12.240 That if a woman

00:28:12.800 Shows her claws in that way

00:28:14.020 Where now he's doing

00:28:15.660 What he's allowed to do

00:28:16.840 In Islam

00:28:17.180 And she's now giving him

00:28:18.420 Blackmailing

00:28:18.960 Threatening

00:28:19.320 And stuff like that

00:28:20.020 In a situation like this

00:28:21.080 I would actually recommend

00:28:22.120 For certain men

00:28:23.300 Where he feels like

00:28:24.580 If she knew

00:28:26.320 She blackmails him

00:28:27.380 If you get divorced to me

00:28:28.480 Another man will raise

00:28:29.760 Your children

00:28:30.160 Or let's say

00:28:31.040 Let me just say

00:28:31.480 For example

00:28:32.400 If you get divorced

00:28:33.880 If this happens

00:28:35.820 You'll never see

00:28:36.260 Your children again

00:28:36.880 The moment you see

00:28:38.340 A woman speaking like that

00:28:39.360 This is an option

00:28:40.640 Of secret, second

00:28:41.480 Whatever you want to call it

00:28:42.220 I think it becomes

00:28:43.040 A very religious option

00:28:44.220 And are men to blame

00:28:46.420 To go down that route

00:28:47.920 When they have wives

00:28:49.340 Who are going to

00:28:50.260 Make their life hell

00:28:51.080 So just to get back

00:28:53.360 To that point

00:28:54.000 I think

00:28:54.600 It's fine

00:28:56.060 But there's a term

00:28:59.260 In Islam

00:28:59.860 Taqabbeh

00:29:00.740 Where somebody

00:29:02.840 Is now abusing

00:29:04.200 That

00:29:04.980 And it says

00:29:06.380 I'm sure there's a hadith

00:29:07.640 It says

00:29:08.460 Where you shouldn't

00:29:09.820 Do that to your wife

00:29:11.340 For a prolonged time

00:29:13.200 And if somebody

00:29:14.240 Taqabbeh

00:29:15.260 So insulting

00:29:17.400 Or taking away

00:29:19.180 Their rights

00:29:20.020 And things like that

00:29:20.660 If somebody is abusing that

00:29:22.240 Then okay

00:29:22.980 That's one case

00:29:24.080 But of course

00:29:25.240 There are women

00:29:26.020 Out here

00:29:26.660 Who do abuse

00:29:28.100 The state backing

00:29:30.360 In regards to the children

00:29:32.440 Which I'm completely

00:29:33.500 In disagreeance with

00:29:35.100 Okay we know

00:29:35.660 But it's

00:29:35.940 Okay

00:29:36.340 So back to the

00:29:37.240 Secret, second wives

00:29:38.100 So back to the

00:29:38.360 Secret, second wives

00:29:39.940 Before you continue

00:29:42.560 I don't think

00:29:44.000 What you said

00:29:44.580 Is correct

00:29:45.400 About the taqabbah

00:29:46.960 Yani

00:29:48.320 La taqabbah al wajj

00:29:49.780 Is what you're talking about

00:29:50.680 There's only one hadith

00:29:51.580 La taqabbah al wajj

00:29:52.640 Don't hit the face

00:29:53.380 But there's

00:29:54.320 Which means

00:29:55.080 Taqabbah means

00:29:56.840 Actually

00:29:57.740 Qabiha means ugly

00:29:58.700 Qabiha means ugly thing

00:30:00.800 So taqabih means

00:30:03.000 To make something ugly

00:30:04.800 The only hadith

00:30:06.100 But there is a different meaning

00:30:07.300 For it

00:30:07.760 No, no

00:30:08.060 Taqabih

00:30:08.980 Qabiha means ugly thing

00:30:10.580 Okay

00:30:11.060 Tahseen means beautiful thing

00:30:13.200 Alright

00:30:13.840 So tahseen is beautiful

00:30:15.560 Taqabih

00:30:16.040 So taqabbah

00:30:17.220 La taqabbah al wajj

00:30:18.240 The Prophet

00:30:18.760 As-Salaam said that

00:30:19.360 Which means

00:30:19.760 Don't hit

00:30:20.460 Don't humiliate the face

00:30:22.140 You know

00:30:23.620 There's a hadith on that

00:30:24.920 But

00:30:25.080 So just

00:30:25.880 We need to be clear

00:30:26.680 Okay

00:30:26.940 Can we come back

00:30:28.040 To the topic at hand

00:30:28.740 Okay sorry

00:30:29.280 Can I make the point

00:30:30.280 So for me

00:30:31.340 I agree

00:30:32.020 Why are men going down that route

00:30:32.980 Of hiding it from their wives

00:30:35.180 Because we don't want this to be secret

00:30:36.500 I'll be honest with you

00:30:36.980 No man

00:30:37.500 Wants to keep it secret

00:30:38.520 No man wants to go do anything

00:30:39.620 Behind his wife's back

00:30:40.500 So the point is this

00:30:42.180 If we are created in this manner

00:30:43.400 You guys are created

00:30:44.340 With certain hormones

00:30:45.080 Yes

00:30:45.540 For example

00:30:46.220 Because we're learning here

00:30:47.200 Yes

00:30:47.600 You have your period

00:30:48.100 You have your menopause

00:30:48.980 You become pregnant

00:30:50.900 Etc

00:30:51.200 There are so many factors

00:30:52.440 Men don't blame women

00:30:53.940 And say

00:30:54.200 Oh you know

00:30:54.620 Why are you on your period

00:30:55.140 Why are you on menopause for

00:30:56.600 Yeah

00:30:56.960 And when it comes to intimacy

00:30:58.600 A lot of men actually feel deprived

00:30:59.940 They're partners

00:31:01.140 Just they're not as bothered

00:31:02.300 And the thing is here

00:31:03.400 That now we as men

00:31:04.420 Are men are blamed

00:31:05.580 No no

00:31:06.140 We as men are blamed

00:31:07.100 For a hormone

00:31:07.800 That we are created

00:31:08.520 We accept your hormone

00:31:09.360 You own that hormone

00:31:10.240 No problem

00:31:10.740 No intimacy for a week

00:31:12.300 No problem

00:31:13.020 Menopause

00:31:13.580 Pregnancy

00:31:14.320 It's all good

00:31:14.980 When a man has these hormones

00:31:16.620 Number one

00:31:17.180 You are not allowed to have it

00:31:18.400 Number two

00:31:19.380 If you were to go to act upon it

00:31:20.960 I'm going to make your life hell

00:31:22.180 So I'm asking a simple question

00:31:23.400 What does a man should do

00:31:25.420 Tell me

00:31:25.700 Men want to know

00:31:26.780 The correct way

00:31:27.920 Of going about this

00:31:29.120 Without making it secret

00:31:29.980 Second wife

00:31:30.380 Because to me

00:31:31.060 From my point of view

00:31:31.840 It seems like

00:31:32.480 None of the men

00:31:33.320 Want to make it secret

00:31:34.760 But the pressure

00:31:36.020 Outside pressures

00:31:37.000 From our wives

00:31:38.020 And God knows

00:31:38.840 What other elements

00:31:39.820 Is causing men

00:31:41.080 To be like

00:31:41.780 You know what

00:31:42.060 I have to go the secret way

00:31:42.880 For me

00:31:43.760 I agree

00:31:44.800 Polygamy is permissible

00:31:47.080 A man doesn't need to

00:31:49.140 You know

00:31:49.680 I can't go away from

00:31:51.060 Al-Islam

00:31:51.960 He doesn't need to tell me

00:31:54.180 Okay

00:31:54.620 But

00:31:55.320 Aside from Al-Islam

00:31:58.220 I think

00:31:59.600 My integrity

00:32:01.260 My dignity

00:32:03.300 My

00:32:04.640 You know

00:32:05.920 Who I am as a person

00:32:07.400 I would think

00:32:09.020 It's so disrespectful

00:32:10.580 For my husband

00:32:12.260 To go

00:32:13.380 And marry somebody else

00:32:15.140 Secretly

00:32:16.180 Without

00:32:16.680 Giving me

00:32:17.820 The knowledge

00:32:18.540 What about openly?

00:32:19.700 No okay wait

00:32:20.440 Can he come openly?

00:32:21.380 Before openly

00:32:22.720 If he

00:32:23.880 If we're talking about

00:32:25.100 Secret second wife

00:32:26.720 If my husband

00:32:27.920 Has gone

00:32:28.640 Behind my back

00:32:29.840 That to me

00:32:31.040 Is cheating

00:32:31.800 Even if it is

00:32:33.160 Islamically correct

00:32:34.560 However

00:32:35.220 Wait hold on

00:32:36.580 If he

00:32:37.960 Was to come to me

00:32:39.420 Prior

00:32:40.160 To

00:32:41.140 You know

00:32:42.060 Prior to

00:32:42.900 Him doing this

00:32:44.160 And having that

00:32:45.200 Conversation with me

00:32:46.260 Which

00:32:46.540 We've already

00:32:47.300 Openly discussed this

00:32:48.620 I want a second wife

00:32:50.800 Genuinely

00:32:51.480 What would you do?

00:32:52.000 We would have a conversation

00:32:53.060 I'm not

00:32:53.640 Sorry

00:32:54.160 I'm not

00:32:55.380 Somebody who's

00:32:56.420 Not understanding

00:32:57.520 However

00:32:58.380 At least

00:32:59.400 He gave me

00:33:00.220 An option

00:33:01.040 First

00:33:02.160 And he's given me

00:33:03.240 A right in a way

00:33:04.380 So I can make

00:33:05.940 An informed decision

00:33:06.960 For myself

00:33:07.840 I understand

00:33:08.160 Let's go back to

00:33:09.100 What you said before

00:33:09.760 Aside Islam

00:33:10.700 Dignity

00:33:11.120 Respect

00:33:11.440 Aside Islam

00:33:14.120 You don't have

00:33:15.080 Any of those things

00:33:15.600 Anyway

00:33:15.860 Dignity or respect

00:33:16.760 I know

00:33:17.180 I agree

00:33:17.620 So

00:33:17.780 This idea of

00:33:19.980 Aside Islam

00:33:20.580 We're Muslims

00:33:21.120 There is no

00:33:21.800 Aside Islam

00:33:22.240 In this discussion

00:33:22.840 If I was speaking

00:33:23.440 To an atheist

00:33:23.920 As I do

00:33:24.420 We can bring in

00:33:25.300 Liberalism and feminism

00:33:26.040 But I'm speaking

00:33:26.480 To a Muslim

00:33:26.900 So there is no

00:33:27.960 Aside Islam here

00:33:28.780 That's the first thing

00:33:29.720 Okay but you said

00:33:30.520 Lying is not okay

00:33:32.020 But is okay

00:33:33.340 For husband to lie

00:33:34.860 If he's lying

00:33:36.100 To me every night

00:33:36.940 We'll let you speak

00:33:38.020 Sorry

00:33:38.300 We'll let you speak

00:33:39.320 So let me just

00:33:39.820 Come back to the second point

00:33:40.860 You mentioned

00:33:41.120 You said it's cheating

00:33:41.800 You said it's cheating

00:33:43.560 Cheating is a word

00:33:45.100 It's a construct

00:33:45.700 In the English language

00:33:46.520 Which means infidelity

00:33:47.600 Usually for the most part

00:33:48.640 Right

00:33:48.840 Infidelity

00:33:49.840 For us

00:33:51.140 It means someone

00:33:51.840 Has done something

00:33:53.140 Which is one of the

00:33:54.620 Kaba'ir min adhroob

00:33:56.360 Major sins

00:33:57.060 Major sins of Islam

00:33:58.020 We cannot equate something

00:33:59.920 Which is mubash

00:34:00.700 Which is that

00:34:01.900 Sharia has not even

00:34:03.080 Put a sin on it

00:34:04.120 With something

00:34:05.160 Which is kabira min adhroob

00:34:06.520 Which means now

00:34:07.700 You're going back to

00:34:08.400 The true religion

00:34:09.520 Which I'm now expected

00:34:11.220 As a Muslim man to follow

00:34:12.100 It's not the religion of

00:34:13.140 Al-Islam

00:34:13.720 It's the religion of

00:34:14.700 Women's feelings

00:34:15.560 I'm not going to follow that religion

00:34:16.900 With respect to you

00:34:18.100 I'm not going to do

00:34:19.140 Prestoration to the

00:34:20.500 Collective hormonal

00:34:21.740 And emotional status

00:34:23.000 Of men or women

00:34:23.720 Or children

00:34:24.080 Or anybody else

00:34:24.720 I'm not going to do this

00:34:25.680 So I'm saying now

00:34:26.680 We go back to the book

00:34:27.480 And the sunnah

00:34:28.080 The question is

00:34:29.820 What exactly are we objecting to

00:34:32.720 I'm saying that

00:34:33.660 At the end of the day

00:34:34.300 Everyone here has agreed

00:34:35.440 That this is not

00:34:37.220 What Sharia wants

00:34:38.180 It's not the best case scenario

00:34:39.920 It's not the default situation

00:34:41.440 In fact

00:34:42.960 What Ali said at the end

00:34:44.220 There was a very good point

00:34:45.040 Because let's say for example

00:34:46.240 A woman withholds from the man

00:34:47.560 Section

00:34:48.400 In Islam

00:34:49.620 This is a kabira min al-kabar

00:34:50.720 It's one of the major sins of Islam

00:34:52.740 One of the heavy sins

00:34:54.520 La'na is put on it

00:34:55.580 It's not like

00:34:56.300 The angels

00:34:57.080 The angels

00:34:58.480 If the woman withholds from the man

00:35:00.240 That the angels will continue cursing

00:35:02.120 Until he works out

00:35:03.180 Now

00:35:03.900 If a woman is doing this to a man

00:35:06.200 Wallahi uqsun billah

00:35:08.040 And you know

00:35:08.660 This is my advice

00:35:09.600 This is controversial

00:35:11.080 My advice to the brother

00:35:12.440 Is to get married again

00:35:13.960 Now I'm saying that

00:35:15.260 He can either do it secretly

00:35:16.360 Without her knowledge

00:35:17.240 Or not secretly

00:35:18.440 If he knows that

00:35:19.480 She would withhold the kids from him

00:35:20.760 Use the state

00:35:21.420 Then do it without her knowledge

00:35:22.660 But I believe that's a form of abuse

00:35:24.280 When a woman

00:35:24.900 Is withholding

00:35:26.100 Just because she wants to withhold

00:35:27.440 I just want to say something

00:35:28.580 Sister

00:35:29.140 I've come across so many women

00:35:31.200 That you know

00:35:32.400 Because we're from in Pakistan

00:35:34.620 The men come in here

00:35:36.320 Because when they get married over there

00:35:38.380 They bring the men here

00:35:39.660 And they abuse him

00:35:40.800 They abuse him bad

00:35:42.200 You know what I mean

00:35:42.960 They don't let him

00:35:43.640 To do anything

00:35:44.380 They work

00:35:44.820 They take the money off them

00:35:45.940 You know

00:35:46.460 They give him nothing

00:35:47.220 You know what I mean

00:35:47.820 So the thing is

00:35:48.740 What they do

00:35:49.240 They have a secret marriage

00:35:50.600 But the way their women look at it

00:35:52.980 They're rather the man

00:35:54.420 She

00:35:54.820 Thank you

00:35:55.480 Than to get married

00:35:57.420 You know what I mean

00:35:58.000 So the thing is

00:35:58.920 They say

00:35:59.780 Commit zina

00:36:01.000 But be with your wife

00:36:02.080 You know what I mean

00:36:02.680 And this is the time we live in

00:36:04.260 You know what I mean

00:36:04.800 I agree some women

00:36:05.780 Have that mentality

00:36:06.900 No no no some women

00:36:07.620 Sister

00:36:08.100 I believe some women

00:36:09.240 Have that mentality

00:36:09.960 But

00:36:10.500 Can we go to Sister Suad

00:36:11.600 For a second

00:36:12.020 The solution is

00:36:13.240 Men need to stop being cowards

00:36:14.880 And speak to the wife

00:36:16.460 First

00:36:16.760 And tell them

00:36:17.460 One second

00:36:18.180 One second

00:36:18.400 One second

00:36:18.640 Sister Suad

00:36:19.200 I disagree with that

00:36:20.820 Before we go to Sister Suad

00:36:22.560 If your husband came to Sister Amira

00:36:24.420 May Allah bless you and your husband

00:36:25.520 And preserve your marriage

00:36:26.380 And protect you guys

00:36:28.600 You're saying if he's man enough

00:36:30.200 If your husband came to you man enough

00:36:31.680 And said to you

00:36:32.220 He wants a second wife

00:36:33.020 At least then it's not secret

00:36:34.360 I knew about it

00:36:34.960 One second

00:36:35.080 One second

00:36:35.960 It's again a bit selfish

00:36:38.660 Because you're like

00:36:39.080 I just want to know about it

00:36:40.040 Okay you know about it

00:36:40.840 What are you going to do

00:36:42.080 Are you going to say to me

00:36:42.620 Yeah you can

00:36:42.920 Thank you

00:36:43.600 We will talk about it

00:36:47.060 I think that's what we need to do

00:36:49.660 Like when you're a married couple

00:36:52.000 Every problem you have

00:36:53.720 You discuss it

00:36:55.440 So this is again

00:36:56.220 For us as women

00:36:57.060 It's a problem

00:36:57.840 And for him it's a problem

00:36:59.160 So if we sit down

00:37:00.500 And we talk about it

00:37:01.600 And I take my selfish knees out of it

00:37:04.060 I.e. me wanting him all to myself

00:37:06.780 I need to understand

00:37:07.740 That there's more

00:37:09.040 That's how Allah has made them

00:37:10.700 And Allah has opened up

00:37:11.860 Up to four wives for them

00:37:13.440 So I need to sit down

00:37:14.520 And I need to really think about

00:37:16.000 How this is going to affect him

00:37:17.940 It could lead him into doing zinna

00:37:20.400 It could lead him to do haram stuff

00:37:21.920 And I really need to understand

00:37:23.580 Do I want that for my husband

00:37:25.440 Again we need to be in a relationship

00:37:28.700 Where we're both empathetic towards each other

00:37:30.880 If we expect our husbands to understand

00:37:33.220 Oh I'm really moody because I'm on my

00:37:35.400 Oh you know I'm pregnant so I'm feeling

00:37:38.040 So if we want them to understand us

00:37:40.500 Why is it us as women

00:37:42.220 Can't return the favour and understand them

00:37:44.560 Thank you

00:37:45.280 And we're going to go to Sister Soul

00:37:46.720 She wants to ask a question

00:37:47.820 Can we get the cameras to Sister Soul inshallah

00:37:49.520 May Allah bless Sister Soul

00:37:51.640 She's one of the sisters

00:37:52.680 Who have an amazing contribution to our podcast

00:37:54.540 I disagree with some stuff she says

00:37:56.540 But I still invite her to the show

00:37:57.680 Can I do something to say

00:37:59.080 Yes it's a song

00:38:00.280 One of the things that no one is mentioning

00:38:04.120 Is the fact that alhamdulillah

00:38:05.560 We've made the point that

00:38:06.720 When obviously husbands are being denied this hack

00:38:10.480 And women are starting to threaten with the kids

00:38:12.960 And that

00:38:13.440 And they are very maybe in a situation

00:38:16.660 We get that shara'an

00:38:18.700 Like the brother Mohammed says

00:38:19.960 It's allowed

00:38:21.600 But no one is talking about

00:38:22.840 The fact that brothers are using

00:38:24.740 To treat wives

00:38:26.320 And abusing those situations

00:38:27.640 Because sometimes they are cowards

00:38:29.520 Sometimes they don't want the trouble

00:38:31.080 They don't want the wife to annoy them

00:38:32.940 Rather than going

00:38:33.900 Convincing them

00:38:34.940 Being the man

00:38:35.940 Making sure they are the right protector

00:38:37.820 Provider

00:38:38.520 Showing the wife

00:38:39.560 They are able to take care of two families

00:38:41.800 They would rather

00:38:43.220 Let's just be honest

00:38:44.280 Pay no rent

00:38:45.660 And grab a second wife

00:38:46.940 Good good

00:38:48.720 Okay good good

00:38:49.500 I'm going to come to it

00:38:50.680 One second

00:38:50.880 I'm going to come to it

00:38:51.640 I'm going to come to it

00:38:52.460 Just a quick thing yeah

00:38:53.420 But I'm going to

00:38:54.600 You know who I'm going to blame

00:38:55.680 In this very instance

00:38:56.440 I'm going to blame the sisters

00:38:57.520 Because

00:38:58.180 I'm so sorry

00:38:59.360 Not everybody yeah

00:39:00.220 That

00:39:00.840 There was a statement that was made

00:39:02.300 I saw on Instagram

00:39:02.820 It said when a woman is divorced

00:39:04.640 She's not divorced

00:39:05.860 She's divorced by her husband

00:39:07.160 Not divorced by the ummah

00:39:08.620 And when I said the sister was like

00:39:09.840 Yeah so true

00:39:11.180 And I was like

00:39:12.060 Yeah sister

00:39:12.820 You know you

00:39:13.300 Would you share your husband

00:39:14.080 Oh what happened

00:39:15.220 Your face

00:39:15.560 You start crying

00:39:16.160 What happened she's not divorced by the ummah

00:39:17.580 Are you not a part of the ummah

00:39:18.580 So the question is this

00:39:19.900 Sisters are self-sabotaging

00:39:21.300 The other sisters

00:39:21.900 Feminist sisters

00:39:23.000 Who love their sisters

00:39:23.820 Who will die for their sisters

00:39:24.960 Who take a bullet for their sisters

00:39:26.300 But will not share their husbands

00:39:27.360 For their sisters

00:39:27.940 So the point is this

00:39:29.400 You know let me be real yeah

00:39:30.280 If you love your

00:39:31.080 If you've got a good husband

00:39:31.940 By the way

00:39:32.420 I'm not talking about these guys

00:39:33.380 Who don't pray

00:39:33.800 Jahil clowns yeah

00:39:35.040 Who don't pray

00:39:35.720 Who oppress their wives

00:39:36.600 A good man who practices

00:39:37.880 Who fears Allah

00:39:38.580 Who's good to his wife

00:39:39.340 Takes care of his wife

00:39:40.220 He comes and he says

00:39:41.460 I want a second wife

00:39:42.500 All hell breaks loose

00:39:44.180 And then we blame this man

00:39:45.420 Yeah but why are you keeping it secret

00:39:46.920 What else should he do

00:39:48.000 Dawood

00:39:48.600 Can I make a point

00:39:49.480 Sorry just on that

00:39:50.580 Before I lose it

00:39:51.880 So

00:39:52.800 As Muslim men

00:39:54.740 We understand

00:39:56.220 The khayrah

00:39:57.260 That the woman has

00:39:58.300 Yeah

00:39:58.680 We know that the best of us

00:40:00.560 Women

00:40:01.000 Broke plates

00:40:02.520 Like you mentioned

00:40:03.640 Ali

00:40:04.060 These were a few hadiths

00:40:04.840 So

00:40:04.980 Yeah a few hadiths

00:40:06.480 But we understand that

00:40:08.040 It wasn't a constant thing

00:40:09.820 No but we

00:40:10.460 We understand that

00:40:11.660 This was

00:40:12.100 This is a painful thing

00:40:13.560 And men

00:40:14.440 You guys understand it more

00:40:15.980 That it may hurt the wife

00:40:17.960 Okay

00:40:18.620 So

00:40:19.440 You know that

00:40:20.500 The reaction is always

00:40:21.700 Going to be tough

00:40:22.600 So this is why we say

00:40:24.860 It's cowardice

00:40:26.380 And cowardly

00:40:28.260 When a man

00:40:29.160 Sorry to cut your name

00:40:30.120 Why do we need to bring names into it

00:40:31.700 Why do we have to call it cowardly

00:40:32.120 Because it is

00:40:33.060 It's cowardly

00:40:34.240 When a man

00:40:34.960 Doesn't go to his wife

00:40:36.900 To tell her

00:40:37.540 Because he's afraid

00:40:38.660 Of that reaction

00:40:39.940 She's just afraid

00:40:41.600 Of the reaction

00:40:44.200 He's just afraid of the reaction

00:40:44.500 Allah is telling us

00:41:01.080 What the Prophet S.A.W. did

00:41:01.920 Yeah

00:41:02.220 The Prophet S.A.W.

00:41:05.600 This is in the Quran

00:41:06.320 You're reading it

00:41:06.860 You're going to read it in Ramadan

00:41:07.480 He hid

00:41:09.220 He done sir

00:41:10.200 Which means

00:41:11.000 He hid information

00:41:12.240 From part of his wives

00:41:13.720 And told other parts of his wives

00:41:14.960 Now

00:41:15.720 He told even

00:41:16.660 He went to those wives

00:41:17.560 That he hid the information

00:41:19.040 He said

00:41:19.280 Do not tell these other wives

00:41:20.680 Do you see what's happening here

00:41:22.360 Now

00:41:23.140 Let me make it even more controversial

00:41:24.680 Some

00:41:25.900 Yeah

00:41:26.200 Some people in tafsir

00:41:27.580 Yeah

00:41:28.440 There's two

00:41:29.020 Riwayas

00:41:29.760 What is this talking about

00:41:31.160 You might know

00:41:32.140 The honey story

00:41:32.960 Yeah

00:41:33.180 The honey story

00:41:34.100 When Aisha

00:41:34.620 Radhaan

00:41:35.020 Hafsa

00:41:35.440 They conspired

00:41:36.860 This is the most famous opinion

00:41:38.460 Opinion of Ibn Kathir

00:41:39.680 But there's another opinion

00:41:41.120 Which is that actually

00:41:41.980 The Prophet S.A.W. took

00:41:42.980 Maria al-Qibdiyya

00:41:43.840 He took her to the bed of Hafsa

00:41:45.720 And he had intercourse with her

00:41:47.780 On her night

00:41:48.800 In her house

00:41:50.020 And then this is what

00:41:51.860 The Prophet S.A.W. told her

00:41:52.800 Don't tell the other ones

00:41:54.620 I can understand the logic

00:41:58.420 Is the Prophet S.A.W. a coward

00:42:00.540 No

00:42:01.060 If the Prophet S.A.W. is a coward

00:42:03.040 It's not a coward

00:42:03.860 In that case

00:42:05.960 We're saying that

00:42:06.740 To hide information

00:42:08.520 From some of the wives

00:42:09.560 Is not cowards

00:42:10.940 If you accuse this

00:42:12.640 If you want to use this word

00:42:14.220 Cowardice

00:42:14.700 To describe

00:42:15.400 Hiding information

00:42:16.620 From some of the wives

00:42:17.480 Then you'll be implicating

00:42:18.640 The Prophet S.A.W. number one

00:42:19.520 No

00:42:19.880 Number two

00:42:21.660 Let me just finish

00:42:22.420 I'm not saying you're

00:42:23.380 I'm just saying

00:42:24.820 This is the implication

00:42:25.920 I say that this is the bait

00:42:27.820 That a stupid man will take

00:42:29.660 When

00:42:31.160 For example

00:42:32.280 His wife is already

00:42:34.220 Threatening him

00:42:34.860 Blackmailing him

00:42:35.900 And doing this kind of thing

00:42:36.600 He knows

00:42:37.480 That the state

00:42:38.700 Has got her backing

00:42:40.100 In those situations

00:42:41.520 Where you can see her claws

00:42:42.580 And her malice

00:42:43.140 For her to call you a coward

00:42:44.740 And stuff like that

00:42:45.360 I would say to the brothers

00:42:46.440 That want to do

00:42:47.460 Polygamy

00:42:48.160 And not let the first wife

00:42:49.260 Do never fall for that bait

00:42:50.540 Ever

00:42:50.800 So in fact

00:42:52.560 There is a hikmah

00:42:54.620 There is a hikmah

00:42:55.900 In not telling your spouse

00:42:57.000 Something sometimes

00:42:57.740 I understand that

00:42:58.840 I understand the logic

00:43:00.200 Because I'm a logical thinker

00:43:01.540 Having said that

00:43:02.100 I'm not saying that

00:43:02.680 This is the rule

00:43:03.260 I'm still telling you

00:43:04.760 That this is the exception

00:43:05.460 But it's the exception

00:43:06.840 For whom

00:43:07.320 Because we're living in an age

00:43:09.320 Where there is a

00:43:10.400 Pandemic now

00:43:11.380 Of women using

00:43:12.480 Their children

00:43:13.380 Weaponising them

00:43:14.240 Against their husbands

00:43:15.340 Saying you can never

00:43:16.240 See your children again

00:43:17.080 You will never be able

00:43:17.900 To see them again

00:43:18.400 And it happens

00:43:19.000 We've seen them

00:43:19.920 Some of them commit suicide

00:43:21.040 Some of them

00:43:21.740 We had them on the show

00:43:22.360 One was about to cry

00:43:23.420 So many of them

00:43:25.120 It's becoming too much

00:43:26.000 So I'm saying that

00:43:27.040 Instead of doing

00:43:27.820 Domestic violence

00:43:28.700 Instead of doing things

00:43:29.880 Which will get you

00:43:30.640 A record in this country

00:43:32.260 Ruining your life

00:43:33.320 Do this

00:43:34.180 This for me

00:43:35.260 I believe that

00:43:35.800 This is a better option

00:43:36.820 Yeah

00:43:37.500 Than going into

00:43:38.600 All these things

00:43:39.180 Which the woman

00:43:39.700 Is going to put you

00:43:40.140 In the prison

00:43:40.520 Because she has so much

00:43:42.020 That particular woman

00:43:44.340 Which in my opinion

00:43:45.340 Is the minority of women

00:43:46.260 Majority of Muslim

00:43:47.240 Thank you

00:43:47.860 Thank you

00:43:48.580 I believe it's

00:43:49.480 Minority of women

00:43:50.080 If it's 5% of them

00:43:51.500 Or 10

00:43:51.820 I don't know how many of them

00:43:52.600 But they're willing

00:43:53.580 To go down

00:43:54.120 There is a minority of women

00:43:55.000 Minority of minority of women

00:43:56.080 But for those women

00:43:57.460 This should apply

00:43:58.340 Or at least it's an option

00:43:59.500 For the man

00:43:59.900 I disagree

00:44:00.700 I wouldn't say

00:44:01.580 It's majority of women

00:44:02.460 I wouldn't say

00:44:02.800 It's minority of women

00:44:03.520 It's just a thing of

00:44:04.880 The moment you come to your wife

00:44:06.200 And say I want a second wife

00:44:07.160 Then you will realise

00:44:08.060 If that minority

00:44:09.320 Is a majority

00:44:09.880 Yeah

00:44:11.520 I'm going to go to

00:44:12.240 Sister Suad

00:44:12.760 Just a few disclaimers here

00:44:14.340 When we're talking about

00:44:15.680 This topic

00:44:16.040 Some people come and say to me

00:44:16.820 Bruv why are you so obsessed

00:44:17.720 People come to me and go

00:44:18.500 Bruv Ali

00:44:18.780 Why are you so obsessed

00:44:19.260 With this polygamy thing

00:44:19.960 Yeah

00:44:20.120 Okay

00:44:20.540 Even my wife says

00:44:21.220 Why are you so obsessed with it

00:44:22.180 Yeah

00:44:22.300 The reason I say is

00:44:23.840 Wallahi billahi

00:44:24.980 Wattillahi

00:44:25.380 Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:44:26.060 Is my witness

00:44:26.460 Yeah

00:44:26.640 Okay

00:44:26.960 The reason I say is bro

00:44:28.600 I hear stories

00:44:29.800 This is breaking the family unit

00:44:31.600 There are men

00:44:32.420 Like you said bro

00:44:33.200 And I'll call them cowards

00:44:34.420 Who would rather make their wife happy

00:44:36.600 At the displeasure of Allah

00:44:38.160 Yeah

00:44:38.760 A coward

00:44:39.480 The biggest coward ever

00:44:40.580 That would go and commit zina

00:44:42.140 Adultery

00:44:43.140 At the cost of my wife

00:44:44.700 You are the biggest simp ever

00:44:46.220 With a capital S

00:44:47.100 Yeah

00:44:47.660 Especially if you have the option

00:44:49.260 To marry

00:44:49.880 Exactly

00:44:50.500 And the thing is

00:44:51.220 You fear your wife so much

00:44:52.420 So the reason I'm talking about this

00:44:53.780 Is because I see family units

00:44:55.300 Breaking down

00:44:56.380 Wallahi billahi wattillahi

00:44:58.540 This is the reason why

00:44:59.700 I'm doing this show

00:45:00.440 Yeah

00:45:00.620 Yes as a man

00:45:01.320 You might be like

00:45:01.780 Yeah because you're a man

00:45:02.680 You want

00:45:02.940 Wallahi

00:45:03.580 The reason I do is

00:45:04.680 Because I see the breakdown

00:45:05.700 Of the family unit

00:45:06.760 And why

00:45:07.500 Because men

00:45:08.060 Like our dear sister said

00:45:09.060 Your wife

00:45:09.520 May Allah bless her

00:45:10.180 Why would

00:45:11.160 Would a man really want that

00:45:12.740 You need to understand our sister

00:45:14.620 If we understand each other better

00:45:16.540 Our biology

00:45:17.180 The way we think

00:45:18.000 Psychology

00:45:18.560 Marriages will improve

00:45:20.220 Sister Swad

00:45:21.320 And just following off

00:45:22.460 What you said

00:45:23.120 I think that's the very

00:45:24.300 A good point that you just made

00:45:26.240 Us understanding each other's

00:45:27.540 Biology

00:45:28.060 And when

00:45:30.020 So you know

00:45:30.740 You were saying about

00:45:31.640 He's a coward

00:45:32.840 For coming at you

00:45:35.220 And saying that he wants

00:45:35.880 A second wife

00:45:36.440 I don't know

00:45:36.960 I said he's a coward

00:45:38.540 If he doesn't come to me

00:45:40.780 As a wife

00:45:42.440 I think that is very cowardly

00:45:43.800 But this is the thing

00:45:44.460 This is the logical thinking

00:45:46.160 In a man's head

00:45:48.420 He's weighing up

00:45:49.620 The pros and cons

00:45:50.700 He knows you as his wife

00:45:52.200 He knows how you are going to react to that

00:45:54.880 Based on other conversations you had

00:45:57.020 So I don't think it's cowardice for him

00:45:59.620 To say

00:46:00.080 Actually it's not worth me

00:46:01.840 Having this headache

00:46:02.720 It's not worth me

00:46:03.700 Blowing up my family

00:46:04.820 And for men

00:46:05.800 It's a lot worse

00:46:06.900 You know

00:46:07.180 If you guys were to get divorced

00:46:08.820 And you know

00:46:09.280 I'm not saying it for you

00:46:10.280 But if a man or woman

00:46:12.760 Were to get divorced

00:46:14.320 It's more

00:46:15.620 The man that has to

00:46:17.420 That the courts come heavily down on

00:46:21.020 50%

00:46:22.080 But isn't it more of a task

00:46:24.500 To be lying to your wife

00:46:26.620 Who you're with

00:46:27.380 One second

00:46:27.720 One second

00:46:28.200 One second

00:46:29.600 Sister Swaz

00:46:30.180 But why is he doing it

00:46:31.200 One second

00:46:31.700 Sister Swaz

00:46:32.300 Still got

00:46:32.760 She's got 30 seconds

00:46:33.560 And the reason why he's doing it

00:46:35.580 Is because he doesn't feel confident

00:46:37.220 In us as women

00:46:39.000 To be able to have a

00:46:40.240 Logical conversation

00:46:41.580 We're very emotional

00:46:42.600 So instantly

00:46:43.540 We hear second wife

00:46:44.540 And me included

00:46:45.560 Our jealousy goes straight through the roof

00:46:47.460 We don't want to hear anything else

00:46:49.140 You've got to say

00:46:49.840 Whereas he's sitting there

00:46:51.300 With a logical mind

00:46:52.300 So then you've got two

00:46:53.300 Illogical minds if you like

00:46:55.100 Because I'm emotional

00:46:55.980 And he's just like

00:46:56.640 Look

00:46:56.860 It's from A to B

00:46:58.640 And I'm going

00:46:59.480 You know

00:46:59.800 Well what about C, D, E

00:47:00.900 And you know

00:47:01.280 Going round the circles

00:47:02.300 And that's where the problem comes

00:47:04.040 So he's thinking

00:47:04.680 Rather than dealing with this headache

00:47:06.640 Let me just go do what I want to do

00:47:08.460 And that's where we have to take

00:47:09.760 Accountability

00:47:10.380 As women

00:47:11.640 Like we have to be accountable

00:47:13.460 For our husbands

00:47:14.840 Having to lie to us

00:47:16.440 Because we can't have that

00:47:17.820 Logical conversation

00:47:18.980 With them

00:47:19.200 So it should be a case by case

00:47:21.020 But also as a mother

00:47:22.300 Like I feel like

00:47:23.860 Yes your husband has his

00:47:26.540 His needs

00:47:27.300 And his wants

00:47:27.840 And his desires

00:47:28.480 And you might not be fulfilling that

00:47:30.100 But I would expect my husband

00:47:31.740 To put my children

00:47:32.840 Before all of that

00:47:35.480 Personally

00:47:36.300 But sister

00:47:36.940 But my dear sister

00:47:39.040 One second

00:47:39.380 Okay we're going to go to

00:47:40.040 But my dear sister

00:47:40.820 What you said

00:47:41.180 May Allah bless you

00:47:41.740 Preserve you

00:47:42.220 Thanks for coming

00:47:43.860 But look at what

00:47:45.060 Imagine

00:47:45.620 Imagine a man

00:47:46.960 Imagine your husband

00:47:47.700 Coming and saying

00:47:48.320 That you have a hormonal need

00:47:50.280 Whatever it may be

00:47:50.980 And he's like

00:47:52.140 You need to put me

00:47:53.440 The kids above

00:47:54.380 And you're like

00:47:54.860 I can't help it

00:47:56.620 And you're like

00:47:57.180 No but if you have

00:47:57.940 So what I'm saying

00:47:58.640 Is just so you can understand

00:47:59.580 Is better my dear sister

00:48:00.760 Is that

00:48:01.500 If he said that

00:48:02.780 Wallahi

00:48:03.300 The feminist would be

00:48:04.040 In his house

00:48:04.480 With stones

00:48:04.900 Rocking

00:48:05.260 Yeah

00:48:06.520 So the thing is

00:48:07.520 I understand where you're

00:48:08.260 Coming from

00:48:08.660 100%

00:48:09.280 I hear you out

00:48:10.100 But

00:48:10.820 We are created in a way

00:48:12.520 Where we are being

00:48:13.520 Attacked with something

00:48:14.360 That is in our body

00:48:15.320 That we cannot help

00:48:16.560 But

00:48:17.740 Okay we're going to go to Ta'ud

00:48:19.680 Then sister Ira

00:48:20.320 Wants to ask a question

00:48:20.980 There

00:48:21.440 No no

00:48:21.980 She pressed the buzzer

00:48:22.880 She pressed the buzzer

00:48:23.680 Sister Tahira

00:48:24.880 You've got one and a half minutes gone

00:48:27.720 I think

00:48:28.280 Definitely as women

00:48:29.840 Muslim women

00:48:30.500 In living in the west

00:48:32.120 We need to

00:48:33.140 Take that

00:48:34.660 Ownership on

00:48:35.660 Like

00:48:36.140 Sister

00:48:36.980 At the end said

00:48:37.740 That if your husband

00:48:38.980 Is worried to speak to you

00:48:40.520 Then

00:48:41.100 You know

00:48:41.720 Over this matter

00:48:42.460 Then number one

00:48:43.320 There's

00:48:43.560 You know

00:48:43.940 Something quite deep

00:48:44.760 Between your relationship

00:48:46.060 Where if something

00:48:47.320 Deeply disturbs you

00:48:48.540 As a spouse

00:48:49.180 You should be able to seek

00:48:50.300 Counsel in your husband

00:48:51.440 And vice versa

00:48:52.200 Now if you've overreacted

00:48:54.600 In other things

00:48:55.560 You know

00:48:56.320 It could be something

00:48:57.060 He's

00:48:57.840 I don't know

00:48:58.460 His eyes

00:48:59.060 Gazed away

00:48:59.960 You know

00:49:00.380 Momentarily

00:49:00.960 And you picked that up

00:49:01.880 And you threw a big

00:49:02.640 You know

00:49:03.260 A fuss about it

00:49:04.120 There's no way

00:49:05.080 He's going to feel

00:49:05.640 Comfortable enough

00:49:06.340 To come and speak to you

00:49:07.300 About that

00:49:07.580 So I definitely think

00:49:08.540 As women

00:49:08.920 We need to take that

00:49:09.820 Responsibility on

00:49:11.140 That if our husband

00:49:12.180 They're not

00:49:13.120 They don't feel comfortable

00:49:13.840 Enough to talk to us

00:49:14.780 Then it's something

00:49:15.620 About our approach

00:49:16.740 And how

00:49:17.240 We've handled

00:49:18.400 You know

00:49:19.600 Situations

00:49:20.700 Or scenarios

00:49:21.840 Around that case

00:49:22.760 I think another thing

00:49:24.220 Really really important

00:49:25.300 Is if a sister

00:49:27.100 My advice would be

00:49:27.940 To all sisters

00:49:28.440 That if you find yourself

00:49:29.360 In a position

00:49:29.900 Where your husband

00:49:31.260 Has expressed

00:49:31.980 30 seconds

00:49:32.560 That he

00:49:33.200 He wants to get married again

00:49:34.700 And you know

00:49:35.920 Not necessarily

00:49:36.600 Seeking your permission

00:49:37.700 But more of an

00:49:38.760 Informed

00:49:40.200 You know

00:49:40.680 Informing you

00:49:41.480 That it's something

00:49:42.740 You have to

00:49:43.720 You know

00:49:45.100 Reflect on yourself

00:49:46.220 And prepare yourself

00:49:47.320 Exactly

00:49:47.620 And reflect on yourself

00:49:49.100 All these years

00:49:50.420 I have enjoyed

00:49:51.400 A blessed marriage

00:49:52.220 And that

00:49:52.640 You know

00:49:53.300 I'm one to one

00:49:53.980 With my husband

00:49:54.620 But now my reality

00:49:55.600 Is going to be different

00:49:56.280 I'm going to be tested

00:49:57.020 On my emotions

00:49:58.280 On my jealousy

00:49:59.120 On my connections

00:50:00.460 With Allah

00:50:01.000 On how I react

00:50:01.940 To scenarios

00:50:02.600 So it's a personal journey

00:50:04.240 That the woman

00:50:04.800 Needs to consciously

00:50:05.760 Embark in

00:50:06.540 And feel like

00:50:07.520 This is a test

00:50:08.380 To see how

00:50:08.940 Allah is testing her

00:50:10.040 To see how she responds

00:50:11.000 If she decides

00:50:12.520 To do the opposite

00:50:13.280 Which is

00:50:13.840 You know

00:50:14.800 Throw the divorce card

00:50:16.740 Or throw this card

00:50:17.720 Then ultimately

00:50:18.800 She's falling into

00:50:19.780 The act of disobedience

00:50:20.680 Thank you

00:50:21.120 But look how productive

00:50:22.840 It is

00:50:23.060 We're trying to understand

00:50:23.680 Each other

00:50:23.940 We're trying to learn

00:50:24.440 No one's blaming

00:50:24.960 No one else

00:50:25.400 We're just trying to

00:50:26.040 Understand each other

00:50:26.600 Better

00:50:26.800 So

00:50:27.480 As hearing

00:50:29.800 The sisters

00:50:30.580 What they said

00:50:31.140 Right now

00:50:31.640 It's quite a contrast

00:50:32.920 Because at the beginning

00:50:33.700 They were like

00:50:34.100 Over my dad buddy

00:50:34.960 So

00:50:35.360 I still stand

00:50:37.560 I'm just saying

00:50:39.680 I feel like I'm the only one

00:50:41.340 I feel like I'm less

00:50:42.520 The only one

00:50:43.340 Who's like

00:50:43.800 Do not even think about it

00:50:45.520 I'm just saying

00:50:46.160 In response

00:50:46.600 That's what the person said

00:50:47.320 I'd rather love

00:50:48.220 I'd rather love

00:50:49.240 My first

00:50:50.240 Yeah

00:50:50.600 Oh

00:50:51.680 Look

00:50:52.040 It's like the sense

00:50:53.280 Of what I'm about to say

00:50:54.120 The sense of what I'm about to say

00:50:55.760 So in response

00:50:56.700 Because there was a lot of like

00:50:57.820 A very long monologue

00:50:59.080 That was given here

00:50:59.840 And I'm sure the husbands

00:51:00.700 Are watching this

00:51:01.380 So

00:51:02.100 In a way

00:51:03.220 You're giving ammunition

00:51:04.000 To your husbands

00:51:04.740 Because they're hearing you out

00:51:06.000 But

00:51:06.180 But what I'm trying to say

00:51:07.640 I totally agree

00:51:08.520 With what the sisters are saying

00:51:09.300 By the way

00:51:09.720 So like

00:51:11.500 There's an attempt right now

00:51:12.960 Sort of like

00:51:13.820 There's this guy called

00:51:15.040 Destin

00:51:15.420 That's this guy

00:51:16.660 YouTuber

00:51:17.280 And

00:51:18.220 He's known to be

00:51:19.740 Like a debater

00:51:20.420 Whatever

00:51:20.740 And like

00:51:21.860 There is like

00:51:22.780 An attempt right now

00:51:23.860 Like in the western world

00:51:24.960 To like normalize

00:51:26.060 Open relationships

00:51:27.360 Where like

00:51:29.040 So

00:51:29.740 For those who don't know

00:51:30.840 What that is

00:51:31.240 It's like

00:51:31.780 Where

00:51:32.220 Female

00:51:33.100 And the husband

00:51:34.140 Both are

00:51:35.640 In agreement

00:51:37.360 To

00:51:37.880 Have

00:51:38.780 Sexual

00:51:39.280 Relationships

00:51:40.060 Outside

00:51:41.020 Their marriages

00:51:42.540 So there's an attempt

00:51:43.640 To normalize this

00:51:44.520 And you see that

00:51:45.360 A lot of like

00:51:45.880 Even the non-Muslims

00:51:46.780 Are like

00:51:47.120 Not down with that

00:51:48.240 What I'm trying to say

00:51:49.700 Is that

00:51:50.040 I think

00:51:50.540 If you look at places

00:51:51.800 Like Yemen

00:51:52.300 I saw this video

00:51:53.100 It's funny

00:51:53.560 There's this guy

00:51:54.220 He's on a compound

00:51:55.040 And there's this white guy

00:51:56.400 Next to him

00:51:56.940 And he goes like

00:51:57.500 How many wives do you have?

00:51:58.680 And he goes like

00:51:59.100 I don't know

00:51:59.740 He had

00:52:00.220 Loose of women

00:52:00.880 There is an opinion

00:52:06.260 That says you can have

00:52:06.980 Nine wives

00:52:07.580 And this is the opinion

00:52:08.540 Of Ibn Hazm

00:52:09.240 Yeah let's go

00:52:09.980 Let's go to it

00:52:10.880 After

00:52:11.100 In response

00:52:14.140 Very strong opinion

00:52:15.140 Honestly

00:52:15.800 I'm not saying

00:52:16.900 It's the right one

00:52:17.380 I believe in four

00:52:18.160 But he says

00:52:19.100 Methna

00:52:19.380 I believe in four as well

00:52:20.500 Because he said

00:52:21.100 Methna two

00:52:21.760 Add three

00:52:22.440 Add four

00:52:23.040 And also

00:52:24.720 He's nine

00:52:25.220 And then if you add

00:52:25.980 If you add

00:52:26.880 The fact that

00:52:27.400 The prophet has had

00:52:28.780 Nine at the same time

00:52:29.520 Yeah

00:52:29.740 Exactly

00:52:30.700 And we're just

00:52:31.400 To touch upon

00:52:31.980 We're just going to say something

00:52:33.160 And by the way

00:52:33.760 Isn't it interesting

00:52:35.100 The ayah in the Quran

00:52:35.960 Starts with

00:52:36.680 Marrying twos

00:52:37.880 Threes and fours

00:52:39.240 And the scholars say

00:52:40.260 That the fact that

00:52:41.080 Allah started with two

00:52:41.860 Not one

00:52:42.280 Because it says

00:52:42.780 Marrying twos

00:52:43.340 Threes and fours

00:52:44.120 If you can't be

00:52:45.220 Just marry one

00:52:45.900 Meaning

00:52:46.180 The default position

00:52:47.200 Is every man

00:52:47.720 Should have two wives

00:52:48.420 And when he's like

00:52:49.200 Nah this is too much for me

00:52:50.380 Then have another wife

00:52:51.180 But one wife

00:52:51.820 Yeah

00:52:52.500 So the guy responds

00:52:53.780 And laughs at him

00:52:54.600 He's like

00:52:55.000 How many wives do you have?

00:52:55.880 He goes like

00:52:56.140 I have one

00:52:56.600 And he starts laughing

00:52:57.580 Please come to my janitor

00:52:58.480 Guys

00:52:58.760 He's on a compound

00:52:59.680 And his wives

00:53:00.340 Are all seeing this

00:53:01.140 So what I'm trying to say

00:53:02.220 Is I think it's a cultural thing

00:53:04.020 Because and I said this

00:53:05.140 Before last time

00:53:05.980 In the African American community

00:53:07.880 Amongst the Muslims

00:53:08.860 It seems to be

00:53:10.400 That polygyny

00:53:11.620 Is more accepted

00:53:12.680 And this is something

00:53:13.800 They discuss

00:53:14.420 And this is something

00:53:15.040 It's a reality

00:53:15.820 Because of the

00:53:17.340 The equation

00:53:19.440 In terms of

00:53:20.080 The amount of men

00:53:21.180 Being in prison

00:53:22.000 And the amount of men

00:53:22.780 The ratio between men

00:53:24.160 The amount of men

00:53:24.640 Who are homosexuals

00:53:25.660 Also

00:53:26.000 In Atlanta

00:53:26.720 And places like that

00:53:27.540 So the females

00:53:28.280 Over there

00:53:28.880 Are

00:53:29.260 Accustomed more

00:53:31.840 To reality

00:53:33.040 And therefore

00:53:33.980 They are more

00:53:34.740 Happy to share husbands

00:53:36.200 And I think

00:53:37.520 So it's not

00:53:38.500 Necessary to do

00:53:39.460 With

00:53:39.660 You know

00:53:40.100 We like to say a lot

00:53:41.080 The nature of the female

00:53:42.240 The nature

00:53:42.620 Like human can adapt

00:53:44.240 You know

00:53:44.500 Like we can adapt

00:53:45.840 There are always

00:53:46.540 Going to be certain things

00:53:47.400 About us

00:53:48.260 That are hardwired

00:53:50.040 You're right

00:53:50.620 But like

00:53:51.200 We can adapt

00:53:52.120 Like we can

00:53:52.920 Have a society

00:53:54.200 What this is

00:53:55.300 We're saying

00:53:55.660 Husbands and wives

00:53:57.120 Can have conversations

00:53:58.100 About this

00:53:58.680 Myself and my wife

00:54:00.240 We had these discussions

00:54:01.500 Before

00:54:02.000 And you know what

00:54:03.240 Because my wife

00:54:04.040 She always gave me

00:54:05.380 The

00:54:05.700 Sort of the feeling

00:54:07.580 That I could be

00:54:08.600 Open with her

00:54:09.320 I told her

00:54:10.880 At one point

00:54:12.000 That

00:54:12.240 Look babe

00:54:13.500 There's the sister

00:54:14.720 Is that you yeah

00:54:16.460 I'm possibly

00:54:17.040 Dawood

00:54:17.820 Dawood

00:54:18.240 May Allah bless you

00:54:20.260 Oh Karen

00:54:20.780 Sorry

00:54:21.600 I was like

00:54:22.520 There's possibly

00:54:23.040 A sister

00:54:23.200 That was going to

00:54:23.760 Call me off the show

00:54:24.300 Bro can you

00:54:25.300 Can you blur my face please

00:54:26.340 There's possibly

00:54:28.120 A sister

00:54:28.600 This is early on

00:54:29.960 I did certain things wrong

00:54:32.240 Yeah

00:54:32.420 Granted

00:54:33.100 Sorry babes

00:54:33.900 But

00:54:34.440 I did tell her

00:54:36.240 I did tell her

00:54:37.760 Right

00:54:38.080 May Allah bless you bro

00:54:39.520 It's an honourable man

00:54:40.220 Who's done in an honourable way

00:54:41.120 Come on

00:54:41.560 The only reason

00:54:42.380 Why I told her

00:54:43.180 Was because

00:54:43.720 She gave me the feeling

00:54:45.200 That I could talk to her

00:54:46.360 About it

00:54:46.820 Do you know what I mean

00:54:47.660 But then

00:54:48.440 But yeah

00:54:49.340 Okay

00:54:50.280 Because of you Ali

00:54:51.580 Sorry Ali

00:54:52.800 Because of you

00:54:53.520 Sister Ira

00:54:53.980 I actually had this conversation

00:54:55.840 With my husband

00:54:56.040 Okay good good

00:54:56.660 Check this out

00:54:57.100 Check this out

00:54:57.600 Check this out

00:54:58.320 So sister Amira

00:54:59.240 Had this conversation

00:54:59.960 With her husband

00:55:00.500 Because of me

00:55:01.600 How did it go

00:55:02.140 So

00:55:02.720 Can we zoom in please

00:55:04.000 To the sister

00:55:04.300 I'm a very open person

00:55:05.920 Yeah

00:55:06.280 And for me

00:55:07.960 My integrity matters the most

00:55:10.020 Because at the end of the day

00:55:11.580 If we based our relationship

00:55:13.300 On trust and honesty

00:55:14.560 And just

00:55:15.620 You know

00:55:16.560 Like we're friends

00:55:17.580 You know

00:55:17.940 We're friends before

00:55:18.780 We're husband and wife

00:55:20.460 I would feel so hurt

00:55:22.680 If my husband

00:55:23.660 Couldn't talk to me

00:55:24.800 And go

00:55:25.900 And marry

00:55:26.640 Somebody else

00:55:27.480 Behind my back

00:55:28.200 And then

00:55:28.860 Now it's leaking

00:55:30.000 Into lying to me

00:55:31.200 On a day to day basis

00:55:32.620 Going to meet

00:55:33.820 Some next chick

00:55:34.620 I don't even know

00:55:35.460 Did he

00:55:36.340 Did he

00:55:36.920 Did she test

00:55:38.020 Because let's

00:55:39.180 Let's face it

00:55:40.020 A lot of men

00:55:41.140 Marry women

00:55:41.800 Without even getting

00:55:42.700 Certain tests

00:55:43.640 True true true

00:55:44.160 And then if he brings me

00:55:45.480 Some disease back

00:55:46.540 True

00:55:46.860 Then it will be

00:55:47.940 His janazah for real

00:55:49.440 Literally

00:55:50.200 And we'll do

00:55:50.860 The janazah over him

00:55:51.640 So what did you

00:55:52.600 Okay

00:55:52.960 Sister Amira

00:55:53.760 May Allah bless you

00:55:54.440 And by the way

00:55:54.860 Sister Amira

00:55:55.380 Just because there's

00:55:56.720 Some jahid people

00:55:57.980 She's not wearing

00:55:59.040 A hijab properly

00:55:59.700 She actually doesn't

00:56:01.080 Wear hijab

00:56:01.580 And she's trying to

00:56:02.500 So for those

00:56:03.500 People

00:56:04.240 Some jahids

00:56:05.160 Yeah she's actually

00:56:06.120 She comes to the show

00:56:06.740 And wears it

00:56:07.120 And so does

00:56:07.820 Our dear

00:56:08.340 I actually wear it now

00:56:10.020 Exactly

00:56:10.600 May Allah bless you

00:56:11.360 Inshallah

00:56:11.600 I preserve you

00:56:12.160 So the thing is

00:56:13.980 For those people

00:56:14.800 Who are toxic

00:56:15.420 And talking about

00:56:16.520 This nonsense

00:56:16.980 Just to give a disclaimer

00:56:18.260 Please control your tongues

00:56:19.540 So anyways

00:56:20.680 You had a discussion

00:56:21.360 With your husband

00:56:22.100 Yes

00:56:22.520 I want to know

00:56:23.220 What did he say

00:56:23.940 Well we

00:56:25.280 I literally had

00:56:26.500 An open discussion

00:56:28.100 And maybe

00:56:28.820 You know

00:56:30.000 He'll come on one day

00:56:31.080 We definitely

00:56:31.520 So I need to meet him

00:56:32.240 And I just said

00:56:34.880 You know

00:56:35.220 Would you want to get

00:56:36.980 A second wife

00:56:37.960 Like

00:56:38.380 And for him

00:56:39.880 He said no

00:56:40.580 He said no

00:56:41.200 Please bring him here

00:56:41.800 He said no

00:56:42.680 Please I beg you

00:56:43.560 Bring him here

00:56:44.140 He said no

00:56:45.200 Bring him here

00:56:45.700 But you have to

00:56:46.280 Bear in mind

00:56:47.140 I am five wives

00:56:48.800 In one human being

00:56:49.980 Sorry sister

00:56:50.900 You know

00:56:51.360 I'm even nine wives

00:56:52.920 At this point

00:56:53.640 Sister

00:56:54.020 You know what

00:56:55.280 I want you to do

00:56:55.700 I want you to bring

00:56:56.320 Your husband here

00:56:56.940 He literally will not

00:56:58.620 Let anybody say no

00:56:59.760 Sister

00:57:00.240 I'm telling you

00:57:01.000 Bring your husband here

00:57:01.920 I'm telling you

00:57:02.960 Give me three and a half minutes

00:57:04.100 But I ended up

00:57:05.740 Coming

00:57:06.240 I ended up saying to him

00:57:08.020 Like look

00:57:08.600 If you did ever

00:57:10.380 Change your mind

00:57:11.300 And for whatever reason

00:57:12.980 His mind has already decided

00:57:13.920 He's just saying that to you

00:57:14.340 For whatever reason

00:57:15.040 You wanted to actually

00:57:16.140 Get married again

00:57:17.220 Yeah

00:57:17.560 Have that discussion

00:57:18.860 With me openly

00:57:19.900 Because

00:57:20.500 Although it might hurt me

00:57:22.960 Although it might be

00:57:23.940 Something

00:57:24.340 That

00:57:25.260 I'm not in favour of

00:57:27.120 Yeah

00:57:27.300 I would see why

00:57:29.300 I would understand

00:57:30.080 And obviously go back

00:57:31.160 To the deen

00:57:31.760 And understand that

00:57:33.260 Sister

00:57:33.580 May Allah bless you

00:57:34.580 We're going to go sister

00:57:34.960 At one time

00:57:35.280 I'm going to come

00:57:35.620 May Allah bless you

00:57:36.480 And by the way guys

00:57:37.140 Jokes aside yeah

00:57:37.840 This is a serious matter yeah

00:57:39.200 The prophet peace be upon him

00:57:40.060 Said that a man

00:57:41.100 Who has two wives

00:57:42.360 And he favours one over the other

00:57:43.640 Will come on the day of judgement

00:57:44.620 Leaning his body

00:57:45.560 Will be leaning on one side

00:57:46.760 We joke around here

00:57:47.920 This and there

00:57:48.320 But it's not a joking matter

00:57:49.280 It's a serious matter

00:57:50.020 It involves another woman

00:57:51.000 It involves her emotions

00:57:52.160 There's so many factors

00:57:53.560 I'm not here to say pro or against

00:57:55.020 All I want to do in this show

00:57:56.600 Is so we understand

00:57:57.960 Just understand us

00:57:58.920 Wallahi just understand us

00:58:00.240 The way we understand you

00:58:01.120 That's all we're saying

00:58:01.780 I'm not saying to anybody

00:58:02.580 Go and get married again

00:58:03.760 Etc

00:58:04.080 Because there's consequences

00:58:05.600 Like you said

00:58:06.040 Even hijab

00:58:06.480 He said he doesn't recommend it

00:58:07.780 Because it can be detrimental

00:58:09.160 No man

00:58:10.320 Who does this

00:58:10.960 By the way to the sisters

00:58:11.820 Wakes up and says

00:58:12.960 I'm going to ruin my wife's

00:58:14.340 Life right now

00:58:15.280 And make her suffer

00:58:16.440 No man does that

00:58:17.460 Wallahi believe us

00:58:18.380 We are created in a way

00:58:19.860 Where sometimes

00:58:20.960 It can be peak

00:58:22.000 And it should be done

00:58:22.720 In the correct way

00:58:23.500 That's why Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

00:58:24.680 Sent these protocols in place

00:58:26.880 Because men like to do it

00:58:28.380 In a way without responsibilities

00:58:29.720 Let me get what I want

00:58:30.920 No no no no no

00:58:32.060 Brother

00:58:32.740 That's why I tell the sisters

00:58:33.800 If he's going to do it

00:58:34.540 You tell him

00:58:34.960 You marry that woman

00:58:35.960 You give her maher

00:58:36.940 You do all of that stuff

00:58:38.700 You know what he's going to say

00:58:39.380 No I ain't got time for that

00:58:40.600 Let's go to Sister Aira

00:58:41.540 And then we're going to come to

00:58:42.660 The brothers

00:58:43.240 And we're going to wrap up

00:58:44.200 We need to wrap up

00:58:44.820 Sister Aira

00:58:45.400 One second sister

00:58:48.820 One second sister

00:58:49.380 Yep

00:58:50.860 Maybe she doesn't want to do it

00:58:52.060 No she does

00:58:52.540 She's on the show

00:58:53.020 Yeah yeah yeah

00:58:53.640 I know by any way

00:58:54.760 I'm supposed to make three

00:58:55.760 Brothers

00:58:57.620 But there's someone who's in this

00:59:03.080 Yes

00:59:06.180 Outward

00:59:07.560 I wouldn't mind

00:59:08.900 Because

00:59:09.260 Like where is

00:59:13.860 All of a sudden

00:59:14.480 Like how is

00:59:16.920 He extends from

00:59:17.340 Disappointment

00:59:17.920 Because of

00:59:19.540 Adjustments

00:59:21.180 Especially from

00:59:22.900 The women's side

00:59:23.860 Why can he not

00:59:25.700 Yes

00:59:27.500 He has crunched his desire

00:59:28.780 I can hear what I want to say

00:59:30.800 When

00:59:31.300 Men

00:59:32.460 Wipe in space

00:59:33.240 And we want love

00:59:34.440 Now that

00:59:35.260 Now that

00:59:36.660 That love

00:59:37.420 Is going to be

00:59:38.300 Split

00:59:38.640 50-50

00:59:39.340 Let's just say

00:59:40.020 There's two wives

00:59:40.700 In this scenario

00:59:41.300 Right

00:59:41.660 He's out here

00:59:42.940 Investing

00:59:43.520 100% of herself

00:59:44.620 Mentally

00:59:45.420 Emotionally

00:59:46.180 Physically

00:59:46.760 But that's not

00:59:48.220 The children

00:59:48.660 The whole

00:59:49.200 Future

00:59:50.700 But he's only getting

00:59:51.940 50%

00:59:52.500 You know

00:59:53.820 Because he's only

00:59:54.720 Going to be spending

00:59:55.220 Half the time with her

00:59:56.380 Whether that is physically

00:59:57.780 Or whether that is emotionally

00:59:59.120 Quality

00:59:59.440 Promising

00:59:59.880 Not just that

01:00:01.060 But if a woman is acting out

01:00:02.800 Then

01:00:03.500 Then acting more psychotic

01:00:05.980 Now why

01:00:06.940 But

01:00:07.800 Something to say

01:00:09.300 Like

01:00:09.720 How men can't

01:00:11.300 Overwatch

01:00:11.860 Who has a past

01:00:14.500 Because

01:00:14.960 You know

01:00:15.400 It's not the same thing

01:00:17.460 It's not the same thing

01:00:17.960 I accept it

01:00:18.140 The woman's got a past

01:00:19.120 It's been out

01:00:19.620 From both of them

01:00:20.280 Much like that

01:00:21.760 I would imagine a woman

01:00:23.100 Would you find it

01:00:23.740 Very difficult

01:00:24.280 To expect

01:00:25.100 That her man

01:00:26.240 Will now have this woman

01:00:27.400 And it's not

01:00:28.040 Just

01:00:28.340 Something that happened

01:00:29.700 In the past

01:00:30.240 But rather

01:00:30.780 But sister

01:00:31.520 It's not

01:00:31.940 It's not about us though

01:00:33.360 It's

01:00:33.720 I'm so sorry

01:00:35.720 I'm so sorry

01:00:36.960 Wait wait

01:00:46.980 Let me

01:00:47.560 It is almost like that

01:00:48.920 Okay go on

01:00:49.660 So yes you're right

01:00:51.600 It's not about us

01:00:52.520 But it is

01:00:53.820 To some degree

01:00:54.480 It is about me

01:00:55.440 It's not 100% about me

01:00:57.200 I am just as much

01:00:58.560 In the relationship

01:00:59.260 As he is

01:01:00.140 He can't take me

01:01:01.160 Out of the equation

01:01:01.920 Not can you take out

01:01:02.580 My emotions

01:01:03.260 My well being

01:01:04.420 And the children's well being

01:01:05.620 Because if I'm not okay

01:01:06.680 In my mind

01:01:07.360 But that's on you

01:01:10.580 To work on

01:01:11.420 As a woman

01:01:12.080 You need to be able

01:01:13.380 To manage your own emotions

01:01:14.880 And that's what I was saying

01:01:16.760 Earlier on

01:01:17.220 When I said

01:01:17.580 Try and

01:01:18.080 No that's what I was saying

01:01:19.240 Earlier on

01:01:19.480 When I said

01:01:19.860 We need to try

01:01:20.700 And understand men better

01:01:21.660 They understand us very well

01:01:23.700 They know when

01:01:24.380 We're not feeling great

01:01:25.700 When there's certain things

01:01:26.560 Going on

01:01:26.960 But when they're coming to us

01:01:28.440 With an issue

01:01:29.480 That is very very sensitive

01:01:31.100 Rather than saying

01:01:31.840 Okay

01:01:32.180 Let me sit down

01:01:33.700 And see how

01:01:34.600 I can help

01:01:35.520 My husband

01:01:36.440 How I can

01:01:37.620 It is

01:01:38.460 This is how

01:01:39.440 Allah has met

01:01:40.200 No but

01:01:40.780 Let me finish

01:01:42.960 Let me finish

01:01:44.000 Let me finish

01:01:44.560 Let me finish

01:01:45.080 Hang on

01:01:46.200 Let me finish

01:01:46.580 It's a banish desire

01:01:48.120 Hang on

01:01:49.020 It's a banish desire

01:01:49.940 One second

01:01:50.380 One second

01:01:51.360 Let me land

01:01:51.720 Let me land

01:01:52.260 Let me land

01:01:52.280 Let me land

01:01:53.120 Hang on

01:01:54.120 So this is about

01:01:56.020 Us trying to help

01:01:58.080 Them with their

01:01:58.800 This is something

01:01:59.340 That Allah has

01:02:00.020 Ingrained into them

01:02:01.320 It's

01:02:01.520 They can't help it

01:02:03.120 It's like being born

01:02:03.920 With one hand

01:02:04.620 They can't help it

01:02:05.820 Exactly

01:02:07.140 So then we need

01:02:08.380 To work together

01:02:09.440 Look I'm not

01:02:10.700 I'm the same

01:02:11.540 I'm going to say to you

01:02:12.380 I would not want my husband

01:02:13.600 To have a

01:02:14.120 Second wife

01:02:15.460 Okay good

01:02:16.140 So you're causing

01:02:18.400 Oppression

01:02:19.080 No no no

01:02:20.440 One second

01:02:21.020 No but that's not

01:02:22.380 Oppression

01:02:22.460 No guys guys

01:02:23.140 This is something

01:02:24.440 That Allah has made

01:02:25.520 In them

01:02:26.000 Why do we not

01:02:26.560 Understand that

01:02:27.060 Guys hello

01:02:27.520 Sorry

01:02:27.940 Please

01:02:28.600 Guys guys

01:02:30.700 One second please

01:02:31.420 One second

01:02:31.860 There's a few things

01:02:32.440 That was touched upon

01:02:33.240 I want to come to

01:02:33.820 We're going to

01:02:34.480 We're going to wrap up

01:02:34.980 Inshallah

01:02:35.320 Okay

01:02:35.620 Yes

01:02:36.900 So what I'm saying

01:02:37.680 Is in a nutshell

01:02:38.220 Is that the man

01:02:39.420 Feels less loved

01:02:40.180 When the woman

01:02:40.820 Spends more time

01:02:41.600 With his kids

01:02:42.360 He's given 50%

01:02:43.100 Of the love

01:02:43.860 And there's

01:02:44.260 This is that show

01:02:45.080 That men feel

01:02:45.840 Deprived yeah

01:02:46.460 Now when it comes

01:02:47.300 To desire

01:02:47.900 What you're doing

01:02:49.000 Is you're equating

01:02:49.620 Desire

01:02:50.540 With you're saying

01:02:51.360 Mine is marriage

01:02:52.160 But yours is just desire

01:02:53.060 It's like me

01:02:54.200 Belittling

01:02:54.700 What you're going through

01:02:55.660 What if I came and said

01:02:56.420 For example

01:02:56.920 That you're going

01:02:58.340 Through menopause

01:02:58.940 And your period

01:03:00.180 And when you're pregnant

01:03:01.380 As well

01:03:01.740 When the woman is pregnant

01:03:02.440 Sorry

01:03:03.420 We've been learning here

01:03:05.060 It's hard to have intimacy

01:03:06.460 Okay

01:03:07.060 So can the man

01:03:07.980 Come and say

01:03:08.300 Hold on a second

01:03:08.760 I am being deprived

01:03:09.920 And there are studies

01:03:10.540 That show

01:03:10.960 A man's sexual drive

01:03:12.920 There is no comparison

01:03:14.940 So this is the reason

01:03:16.220 Why we say

01:03:16.840 Biologically

01:03:17.920 When I had that discussion

01:03:18.700 With that toxic feminist

01:03:19.700 Girl

01:03:20.020 Yeah

01:03:20.780 You guys are vulnerable

01:03:22.500 In an altercation

01:03:23.560 When it comes to a man

01:03:24.980 You are biologically weaker

01:03:26.240 That is your most vulnerable

01:03:27.800 State you're in

01:03:28.660 You require a man

01:03:30.020 To be there

01:03:30.560 To protect you

01:03:31.400 A man's most vulnerable

01:03:32.900 State is when it comes

01:03:33.940 To intimacy

01:03:34.540 And when a man

01:03:35.600 Is deprived of that

01:03:36.480 You are also saying

01:03:37.360 On top of that

01:03:38.620 You are not allowed

01:03:39.520 To get married again

01:03:40.160 You have to shut up

01:03:41.320 And go through

01:03:42.640 Whatever I'm going through

01:03:43.440 And put up with it

01:03:44.160 So it's unfair

01:03:45.380 Just on the points

01:03:47.040 You said you wanted

01:03:47.580 Guidance and clarification

01:03:49.060 But it did seem

01:03:51.160 A bit like a polemic

01:03:52.020 But I would say

01:03:52.700 That the first

01:03:53.240 And second points

01:03:54.040 That you made anyway

01:03:55.180 Had assumptions of it

01:03:56.880 Of a liberal

01:03:57.420 And feministic kind

01:03:58.540 Undoubtedly

01:03:59.420 The first one was

01:04:00.860 You were talking about

01:04:02.320 Well these are the desires

01:04:03.880 Of men

01:04:04.340 And these are the desires

01:04:05.240 Of women

01:04:05.520 Who says that we are

01:04:06.920 Living our lives

01:04:07.580 On the hedonistic principle

01:04:08.540 Who says that we are

01:04:09.620 Living our lives

01:04:10.220 That the pain

01:04:10.780 And pleasure threshold

01:04:11.980 Is what we

01:04:12.520 We base morality on

01:04:14.220 This is not what we

01:04:15.200 Despite the fact

01:04:17.040 That sometimes

01:04:18.420 We can feel bad

01:04:19.180 About something

01:04:19.660 That could be good for you

01:04:20.500 The Quran says that

01:04:21.080 Very clearly

01:04:21.480 I mean we don't believe

01:04:23.220 That just because

01:04:23.780 Something can feel bad

01:04:24.720 To an individual

01:04:25.360 Man, woman or child

01:04:26.640 That that thing

01:04:27.080 Becomes bad itself

01:04:27.980 So this idea

01:04:29.340 Remember

01:04:29.840 Islam has a

01:04:30.860 Communitarian ethic

01:04:31.680 At the end of the day

01:04:32.740 It's not about

01:04:33.620 What's good for

01:04:34.180 The individual actors

01:04:35.160 It's about what's good

01:04:36.100 For the collective

01:04:36.820 Number one

01:04:37.820 Number two is

01:04:39.000 Not just that

01:04:39.760 It's about what's good

01:04:40.620 That Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:04:41.900 Wants us to worship in

01:04:42.940 For example

01:04:43.620 Military warfare

01:04:44.560 That military warfare

01:04:48.900 Has been prescribed

01:04:49.560 Upon you

01:04:49.980 And it's something

01:04:50.460 Disliked by you

01:04:52.040 You can hate something

01:04:55.900 And it's good for you

01:04:56.600 And you can love something

01:04:57.580 It's bad for you

01:04:58.300 So the first

01:04:59.080 The premise of the first question

01:05:00.340 Is completely falsified

01:05:02.040 In fact

01:05:02.440 It's almost as if

01:05:03.780 I'm speaking to

01:05:04.420 With respect

01:05:05.500 And not Muslim

01:05:06.160 It doesn't matter

01:05:06.540 Because I'll say to them

01:05:07.620 If I was speaking to them

01:05:08.320 Not Muslim

01:05:08.640 It doesn't matter

01:05:08.960 How do you prove

01:05:09.940 Your premise

01:05:10.400 That in fact

01:05:11.220 The egoistic

01:05:11.980 Individualistic

01:05:12.840 Liberal

01:05:13.620 Hedonistic principle

01:05:14.680 That you have

01:05:15.260 Is actually a true one

01:05:16.420 In the first place

01:05:16.940 To base morality

01:05:17.460 That's the first thing

01:05:18.400 The second thing

01:05:18.860 Is when you said that

01:05:19.580 Well she's putting in

01:05:20.680 This much in the relationship

01:05:21.660 And he's putting in this much

01:05:22.920 You've assumed equality

01:05:24.520 You've assumed equality

01:05:24.540 It's undoubtedly

01:05:25.440 You've assumed equality

01:05:26.340 And once again

01:05:27.440 That's feminism

01:05:27.980 Second wave feminism

01:05:28.840 You've imported that

01:05:30.300 Into the religious discourse

01:05:31.340 And then challenged us with it

01:05:33.360 Remember we're not

01:05:34.320 We don't agree with feminism

01:05:35.820 I don't believe that

01:05:36.980 Equality of value

01:05:38.380 Equals identicality of roles

01:05:40.220 I believe that there's

01:05:41.100 Equality of value

01:05:42.240 Between men and women

01:05:43.520 But that the roles are different

01:05:44.840 So even if

01:05:46.400 The man puts in

01:05:47.640 10%, 5%, 1%

01:05:49.580 Into a relationship

01:05:50.340 And she puts in 100%

01:05:52.000 That wouldn't indicate to me

01:05:53.740 There's injustice going on

01:05:54.720 Disparity or inequity

01:05:56.200 So for me

01:05:57.080 This is not the way

01:05:58.460 That the situation

01:05:59.200 Is being dealt with

01:06:00.080 So all of

01:06:01.020 In short therefore

01:06:02.160 I would say that

01:06:02.840 All of your questions

01:06:04.080 Seem to have an import

01:06:06.180 Of a post-enlightenment

01:06:07.480 Liberal

01:06:08.220 Colonial

01:06:09.220 White mankind

01:06:09.920 Which we don't need to have

01:06:11.700 When we're having these discussions

01:06:13.000 Between Muslims

01:06:13.760 In fact

01:06:14.540 You can see

01:06:16.460 The discussion so far

01:06:17.980 Has been from

01:06:18.480 At least a big section

01:06:20.080 Of today's

01:06:20.660 Has been Quran and Sunnah

01:06:22.100 Where we talk about

01:06:23.040 Quran, Sunnah, scholars

01:06:24.400 Quran, Sunnah

01:06:25.320 You're talking to me about

01:06:26.100 50% this

01:06:27.260 100% this

01:06:28.060 Feelings this

01:06:28.820 We're not following

01:06:29.840 The religion of feelings

01:06:30.700 As I said before

01:06:31.260 I'm not going to prostrate

01:06:32.160 Or bow down to anyone's feelings here

01:06:33.520 So in sum therefore

01:06:35.840 I think if we want to

01:06:37.160 Challenge a position

01:06:38.420 As Muslim people

01:06:39.380 We need to challenge

01:06:40.540 The Muslim people

01:06:41.740 With Islam

01:06:42.740 Not with something

01:06:44.060 Imported from outside

01:06:45.180 Or presuppositions

01:06:46.460 Which have a

01:06:47.160 Different kind of

01:06:48.500 Backdrop

01:06:49.200 So that's what I'll say to you

01:06:51.080 It's very important

01:06:51.540 That we get that right

01:06:52.140 May Allah bless you

01:06:52.740 Hijab

01:06:53.060 And also just to bear in mind

01:06:54.260 We're not saying that

01:06:55.280 And we're going to come to

01:06:56.100 Sister Ira

01:06:56.380 Because I think she did

01:06:56.900 Two more points

01:06:57.400 She's going to make it

01:06:57.880 We're going to probably

01:06:58.400 Wrap up with what she says

01:06:59.200 But just to touch up

01:07:00.680 On the thing

01:07:01.440 We're just trying to say

01:07:02.240 We're not saying that

01:07:03.520 We don't care about

01:07:04.280 Your emotions etc

01:07:05.180 We're just saying that

01:07:06.320 The Quran and Sunnah

01:07:07.060 Comes first

01:07:07.800 And also for example

01:07:09.260 Sister Ira also

01:07:10.340 Just to touch up on there

01:07:11.140 Is that if you think about it

01:07:12.460 As men

01:07:12.860 When a thief breaks the house

01:07:14.880 We have to go down

01:07:16.320 And we might not return back

01:07:17.440 When a war happens

01:07:18.420 Like it's happened in Ukraine

01:07:19.260 These trans women

01:07:20.740 Are told shut up

01:07:21.460 You're a man now

01:07:22.060 Come and join the war

01:07:23.040 Yeah

01:07:23.460 So when it comes to that

01:07:25.660 Can you imagine

01:07:26.160 We have to go

01:07:26.880 And I might be coming home

01:07:27.820 Just imagine as a man

01:07:28.840 The gheera that we have

01:07:30.060 For our wives

01:07:30.500 Imagine you're going to war

01:07:32.020 And you know

01:07:33.380 You might get

01:07:34.360 Well killed

01:07:35.580 You're not coming back

01:07:36.840 Your wife is getting married

01:07:38.240 To another man

01:07:39.020 Yeah

01:07:39.760 We don't come and say

01:07:40.840 Well hold on a second bruv

01:07:41.740 Why don't you go to war

01:07:42.640 I'll cook biryani

01:07:43.300 All day every day bruv

01:07:44.140 Curry

01:07:44.960 All the curries

01:07:45.780 I'll make delicious dishes yeah

01:07:46.800 You go to what

01:07:47.860 And I'll cook

01:07:48.300 No what would my wife say

01:07:49.800 You are the man

01:07:50.960 Ya Allah

01:07:51.720 You have to go

01:07:52.360 We as men don't

01:07:53.560 This is the point

01:07:54.540 We as men don't complain

01:07:55.800 We are ready to put

01:07:56.980 A neck on the line

01:07:57.660 For our family

01:07:58.260 Our deen

01:07:58.740 And go

01:07:59.600 And we don't talk about

01:08:00.760 Emotions and go

01:08:01.280 Well hold on a second

01:08:01.820 If I die

01:08:02.300 Someone's going to marry you

01:08:03.140 You're going to be

01:08:03.700 With someone else

01:08:04.280 But why is it that

01:08:05.580 When as men

01:08:06.360 We talk about our concerns

01:08:07.960 And what we go through

01:08:09.420 And our hormones

01:08:10.160 We are

01:08:10.820 Sean be quiet

01:08:11.700 And you're hurting me

01:08:12.780 But vice versa

01:08:14.120 It's not the same

01:08:15.540 Can I just say

01:08:16.220 Sorry

01:08:16.380 This is a western

01:08:17.940 Point of view

01:08:19.140 Because

01:08:19.520 Sorry

01:08:20.020 Like

01:08:21.140 In terms of polygamy

01:08:22.880 It is a western point of view

01:08:24.820 In Africa

01:08:25.540 Senegal

01:08:26.820 Ivory Coast

01:08:28.320 Nigeria

01:08:28.880 This is more normalised

01:08:30.380 So us

01:08:30.980 From a western gaze

01:08:32.900 It is more of a

01:08:34.340 Oh you know

01:08:35.100 Because we have been brought up

01:08:36.440 In a monogamous

01:08:38.060 Type of mindset

01:08:39.160 Romeo and Juliet

01:08:40.220 However

01:08:41.160 Most scholars

01:08:42.340 Do not recommend

01:08:43.820 Romeo and Juliet

01:08:44.500 And Stacey

01:08:44.780 For men

01:08:45.960 To have secret wives

01:08:48.300 Most scholars

01:08:49.380 Do say

01:08:50.140 Just tell the wife

01:08:51.600 Or make it known

01:08:52.700 Because of XYZ

01:08:54.660 That's all I want to say

01:08:55.740 You said you didn't finish your point

01:08:57.600 I don't want to cut you off

01:08:58.280 Context

01:08:58.700 Last point

01:09:01.140 So we're wrapping up

01:09:01.720 Wow wow wow

01:09:05.340 I knew there was a

01:09:07.580 I knew there was a plot twist

01:09:08.560 About jihad right

01:09:09.680 Yes yes

01:09:10.480 Should be refuted

01:09:12.060 When we go home

01:09:12.740 What do you have to say about that

01:09:14.900 Say that again

01:09:15.740 No say it again

01:09:17.220 Say it again

01:09:17.640 Just text me

01:09:18.580 Come back to me man

01:09:19.580 Women do jihad

01:09:20.640 Every time they give birth

01:09:21.840 Women do jihad

01:09:23.020 Every time they wear hijab

01:09:24.400 In the western world

01:09:25.440 It's jihad everyday

01:09:26.700 Right

01:09:27.300 For women

01:09:27.900 Hijabi women

01:09:29.780 This is a

01:09:30.100 This is a

01:09:31.160 Refutation to my wife

01:09:32.300 Can we get the cameras crossed please

01:09:33.660 And also she said that

01:09:35.340 You should go to fast

01:09:36.240 I'll be fasting with my new wife

01:09:38.780 Okay

01:09:41.800 Now okay look guys

01:09:42.820 Joss aside

01:09:43.580 Can we go back to the topic

01:09:44.940 Yes yes

01:09:45.800 Practicality

01:09:46.600 How does he work secret twice

01:09:48.260 Sorry

01:09:49.500 How are you a provider

01:09:50.740 How are you a carer

01:09:52.020 How are you fed

01:09:53.020 How are you a high value man

01:09:55.620 If you are lying

01:09:57.100 Hiding

01:09:57.800 And asking the second one

01:09:59.240 How can you accept

01:10:00.060 Okay

01:10:00.500 I just want to know the fact

01:10:02.020 Okay okay good

01:10:02.580 I think we discussed on that

01:10:03.580 No woman

01:10:04.240 Even if she accepts

01:10:05.560 And I can tell you

01:10:06.720 Because I know people

01:10:07.820 That have said that

01:10:08.720 Because they put themselves

01:10:10.220 Already in a really bad situation

01:10:12.220 In a fitness situation

01:10:13.500 Okay

01:10:14.080 Then get the camera on her

01:10:15.340 How does he work

01:10:16.480 Because

01:10:17.100 Because you know

01:10:18.100 In the beginning

01:10:18.660 Very often

01:10:19.360 Obviously they are in love

01:10:20.740 Maybe they have

01:10:21.380 Like feelings for the person

01:10:22.900 Yeah

01:10:23.280 Very often

01:10:23.800 They have put themselves

01:10:24.720 In a situation

01:10:25.860 That now makes the marriage

01:10:27.620 An obligation

01:10:28.420 Okay

01:10:29.460 Yes

01:10:30.220 Second

01:10:30.760 La ilahe

01:10:31.520 Sister

01:10:32.020 Have mercy on us

01:10:32.840 Please

01:10:33.040 Every woman

01:10:34.340 Is going to say

01:10:34.960 You know what

01:10:35.820 I take only one day a week

01:10:37.020 It's fine

01:10:37.480 As long as I have you

01:10:38.240 In my life

01:10:38.880 But it will never last

01:10:41.120 And we all know that

01:10:42.160 Because every woman

01:10:43.380 Will want to have

01:10:44.680 What the other one has

01:10:45.680 Okay

01:10:46.240 Okay

01:10:46.900 Okay

01:10:47.320 That's a while

01:10:47.900 No that's

01:10:48.340 That's fine

01:10:49.280 There is

01:10:50.300 We need to wrap up guys

01:10:51.160 And not only that

01:10:52.800 Not only that

01:10:53.160 We talked about this

01:10:53.840 In the other episode

01:10:54.420 Of polygamy

01:10:54.900 We discussed this

01:10:55.860 So today's topic

01:10:56.380 Is more about

01:10:56.780 Secret second wife

01:10:57.400 Polygamy

01:10:58.040 We discussed this

01:10:59.000 It's going to come out

01:10:59.560 Yes yes

01:11:02.180 Maybe we can have

01:11:03.000 Another discussion

01:11:03.640 On its own

01:11:04.140 Because it's a broad topic

01:11:04.820 And talking about

01:11:05.360 How we're standing up

01:11:06.000 I'm talking about

01:11:06.940 The practicality

01:11:07.740 I understand

01:11:09.940 What I'm saying is

01:11:10.920 Time is running out

01:11:14.060 Sister

01:11:14.340 Time is running out

01:11:15.160 Look we're nearly

01:11:16.080 Two hours

01:11:16.580 I know sister

01:11:17.960 But time is running out

01:11:18.680 Part two

01:11:19.780 To be continued

01:11:20.340 In a nutshell

01:11:21.540 Yes of course

01:11:22.880 Of course

01:11:23.540 Everyone is in a form

01:11:24.520 Of jihad

01:11:25.220 In the context of

01:11:26.100 You know

01:11:26.580 Like you said

01:11:26.940 A woman who's given birth

01:11:28.260 Yes

01:11:28.520 But what I'm trying to say

01:11:30.000 Is this year

01:11:30.500 Is that

01:11:31.160 In the context

01:11:32.080 What we're trying to say

01:11:32.720 Is that

01:11:33.000 A man

01:11:33.600 Who is

01:11:34.380 Look at it

01:11:34.820 Look

01:11:34.960 When your husband

01:11:36.260 Gets another wife

01:11:37.000 You're not dying

01:11:38.480 Like you're not going to die

01:11:39.420 You're not going to physically die

01:11:40.600 Number one

01:11:41.440 Number two

01:11:42.100 He's coming back home to you

01:11:43.060 Number two

01:11:43.580 He provides for you

01:11:44.220 He protects

01:11:44.620 The same man

01:11:45.180 He's coming back to you

01:11:45.940 When I go to war

01:11:47.040 And I die

01:11:47.640 I'm not coming back

01:11:48.660 I'm not coming back

01:11:50.940 So one second

01:11:51.640 One second

01:11:52.520 I'm not coming back

01:11:53.960 You're coming

01:11:54.440 You're coming back

01:11:55.300 I'm coming back home to you

01:11:56.320 But

01:11:56.820 When you're sharing me

01:11:58.280 It's another woman

01:11:59.460 But in the context

01:12:00.780 When I'm going to war

01:12:01.600 I ain't coming back

01:12:02.300 But I'm gone

01:12:02.760 You know what

01:12:03.300 That's why

01:12:03.980 I believe Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:12:05.700 Told us men about

01:12:06.940 Hur al-Ain by the way

01:12:07.980 If you guys know Hur al-Ain

01:12:08.820 That we're going to have in Jannah

01:12:09.940 InshaAllah

01:12:11.220 Yeah

01:12:13.100 So the Hur al-Ain

01:12:17.420 We're going to have

01:12:17.840 You know why

01:12:18.340 Because if you think about it

01:12:19.460 Guys

01:12:19.600 One second

01:12:20.080 We're finished there

01:12:20.940 Guys

01:12:21.680 Why

01:12:22.580 Guys

01:12:23.520 Why has Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:12:25.600 Told us men

01:12:26.520 About Hur al-Ain

01:12:27.540 And they are described

01:12:28.280 In a very very specific manner

01:12:30.280 Why

01:12:31.100 Because Allah created us

01:12:32.780 He knows our weaknesses

01:12:33.860 He knows what we want

01:12:34.700 We're a simple people

01:12:35.720 Why is it Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:12:37.140 Hasn't gone into details

01:12:37.920 What women are going to get

01:12:38.780 You know why

01:12:39.340 Because if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:12:40.280 Said you're going to get

01:12:40.800 One palace and one bag

01:12:41.740 He will say

01:12:42.260 Oh but I want 10 palaces

01:12:43.100 So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

01:12:44.280 Doesn't go into details

01:12:45.160 But when it comes to the man bro

01:12:46.400 Very simple

01:12:47.020 Hur al-Ain

01:12:47.460 Thank you all day

01:12:48.800 Every day brother

01:12:49.380 And that's why

01:12:50.380 You can wait until

01:12:51.100 That's why

01:12:51.460 That's what

01:12:51.860 Ali Ali Ali Ali

01:12:53.100 I just wanted to say

01:12:53.900 I wanted to say yeah

01:12:54.820 I think this is the problem

01:12:56.140 Can I just finish point

01:12:56.720 The way we discuss this thing

01:12:57.920 So what I'm saying is this

01:12:58.900 That's why

01:12:59.760 The incentive for a man

01:13:01.340 Who's going to war

01:13:02.120 Knowing he's going to die

01:13:03.020 And not come back to his wife

01:13:04.020 He has the incentive of

01:13:05.320 Hur al-Ain

01:13:06.220 Alhamdulillah

01:13:07.320 All day every day

01:13:08.040 Dawud with you

01:13:08.720 Yeah yeah yeah

01:13:09.460 Just a disclaimer

01:13:11.820 Very quickly a disclaimer

01:13:12.940 I agree with what

01:13:14.500 Hijab was saying

01:13:15.240 From an ideological point of view

01:13:16.980 I also agree with

01:13:19.220 What you were saying

01:13:19.820 About the intention behind it

01:13:21.140 But I feel like

01:13:21.640 This is the problem

01:13:22.400 The way we discuss this

01:13:23.720 Topic in the first place

01:13:25.400 To me as an outsider

01:13:27.000 Just listening to both sides

01:13:28.160 It seems a bit like

01:13:29.320 Tit for tat

01:13:30.160 Oh

01:13:30.440 And

01:13:31.660 No let's just understand each other

01:13:33.560 No no it's tit for tat

01:13:34.440 But it's not understanding

01:13:35.680 Because understanding

01:13:36.560 You know what

01:13:37.100 The sister

01:13:38.180 What the sister said

01:13:39.000 The way I would have responded

01:13:40.480 I would have said

01:13:41.040 Look sister

01:13:41.500 First of all

01:13:42.240 You said

01:13:43.500 It's about desire

01:13:44.800 Right

01:13:45.820 No no

01:13:46.500 She said it's about desire

01:13:47.460 Yeah yeah

01:13:47.620 She said

01:13:47.940 Yeah

01:13:48.220 And so what

01:13:49.560 Exactly

01:13:50.800 So what

01:13:51.440 It is about desire

01:13:52.500 Exactly

01:13:52.800 I'll be honest

01:13:53.360 Yes

01:13:53.620 If a man

01:13:54.420 Thank you Dawud

01:13:54.920 Thank you bro

01:13:55.520 If a man

01:13:56.180 If a man

01:13:56.200 If a man

01:13:58.000 Has desire

01:13:59.440 To fulfill that

01:14:00.960 And he wants to

01:14:02.720 Multiply in the land

01:14:04.120 Yeah

01:14:04.900 And he wants to

01:14:05.780 Build families

01:14:06.840 Because

01:14:07.200 We are Muslims

01:14:09.120 The moment the man

01:14:10.540 Gets married again

01:14:11.580 What he does is

01:14:12.820 He

01:14:13.020 Generates

01:14:15.160 He needs to generate

01:14:16.180 Extra energy

01:14:17.140 To fulfill

01:14:18.820 To be a father twice

01:14:20.220 To be a husband twice

01:14:21.360 To be a provider twice

01:14:22.600 So it's not that

01:14:24.380 The desire is

01:14:25.280 Something dirty

01:14:27.080 It's that

01:14:27.580 We're curtailing

01:14:28.760 Desire

01:14:29.600 In a way

01:14:30.960 That is pleasing to Allah

01:14:32.400 Thank you

01:14:32.780 May Allah bless you inshallah

01:14:33.660 Guys we need to wrap up

01:14:34.420 If you want part 2

01:14:35.040 Comment in the section below

01:14:35.900 Inshallah

01:14:36.240 May Allah bless our

01:14:37.220 Honourable sisters here

01:14:38.040 Our Honourable sisters there

01:14:39.140 Our Honourable brothers

01:14:39.880 All the way there

01:14:40.560 For having a part in this

01:14:42.440 Inshallah

01:14:42.760 And may Allah bless you guys

01:14:43.980 Till next time

01:14:44.440 If you want part 2

01:14:45.100 No problem

01:14:45.740 Comment in the section below

01:14:46.720 Till next time

01:14:47.400 From the Bitter Truth Show

01:14:48.160 Assalamualaikum

01:14:49.060 Wa Rahmatullahi

01:14:49.800 Wa Barakatuh

01:14:50.440 The Prophet

01:14:51.360 Sallallahu al-Sallam said

01:14:52.380 Whoever builds a masjid

01:14:53.960 For the sake of Allah

01:14:54.700 Allah will build for him

01:14:57.240 A similar house

01:14:58.380 In Jannah

01:14:59.060 On that day

01:15:00.220 Where Allah

01:15:00.660 Tells us

01:15:01.840 That our books

01:15:02.580 Will be given

01:15:03.060 And every little

01:15:04.660 Atom weight

01:15:05.400 Of good deed

01:15:05.860 You've done

01:15:06.240 Will be there

01:15:07.100 And imagine

01:15:08.020 You see a mountain

01:15:09.080 And you're like

01:15:09.920 What a lucky person

01:15:10.940 Which righteous person

01:15:12.480 And Allah says

01:15:13.820 This is for you

01:15:14.580 For me?

01:15:15.600 Yes

01:15:15.980 What did I do?

01:15:17.680 You allow people to pray

01:15:19.120 You built a masjid

01:15:20.160 I never had the money

01:15:20.980 To build a masjid

01:15:21.560 Oh Allah

01:15:21.880 You helped

01:15:23.220 You gave towards it

01:15:24.440 And Allah gives you the reward

01:15:25.580 Of as if you've built it

01:15:26.920 Donate now guys

01:15:28.240 And do not delay

01:15:29.000 And share the video

01:15:30.200 For extra rewards

01:15:31.140 towards it

01:15:34.860 Or as if you just Face

01:15:35.640 It's like

01:15:36.980 And have someone

01:15:37.600 And have some

01:15:38.260 Like some

01:15:38.880 what can

01:15:39.380 touch and

01:15:40.600 And have you

01:15:42.040 Can

01:15:42.400 It's

01:15:42.780 Like some

01:15:44.440 Of as if you're

Ali Dawah - April 15, 2023

WHY MEN GET SECRET SECOND WIVES - EP 8 ｜｜ BITTER TRUTH SHOW

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