Ali Dawah - WHY WE FELL OUT - FRIENDSHIP FOR DUMMIES

00:00:00.000 I remember being really angry like I remember I saw red that's the only time

00:00:05.520 my whole life where I've been so angry with me I was like no I'm never talking

00:00:09.840 to this guy we just go into and I would do is we treat things as a materialistic

00:00:13.440 object so this if I don't like this I'm gonna drink this if I don't like this I'm

00:00:18.480 gonna replace I'm gonna say I'm not having this again yeah yeah so now what

00:00:22.320 happens is this mentality we carry it to friendship and marriages yeah you would

00:00:26.160 cut yourself you will cut your arm it's for example let's say you cut yourself

00:00:30.540 and we'll join the blood together and we'll be conquered it's like we're blood 0.97

00:00:33.180 brothers anything that you would change one thing about me you're not my wife

00:00:37.260 first of all secondly I'm your friend yeah

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00:01:07.000 thanks bro I think that's the best thing you've said to me in my life

00:01:19.460 assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters hope you guys are well insha'Allah so welcome to

00:01:23.000 my channel today I have Musa after a very very long time so this video is called why we fell

00:01:27.600 out we're gonna be talking about we fell out a lot of times not just once so we're gonna be

00:01:31.760 talking about that and if anyone's under the misconception that we fell out all that time

00:01:36.700 we haven't been doing videos and now we have we'll clarify that as well so what we wanted to talk

00:01:40.860 about from sisters is friendship and brotherhood they say blood is thicker than water well we say

00:01:47.480 iman is thicker than blood so you have water blood and iman yeah so we're gonna talk about them in 1.00

00:01:52.960 gradual steps and talk about as Muslims like sisters who are practicing or not practicing but the thing is

00:02:00.380 what does brotherhood and sisterhood really mean and have we really understood that and we're

00:02:05.440 gonna be telling you guys insha'Allah our personal experiences with each other as friends because

00:02:08.700 it's a real life example that we've been friends for about seven years so there's something we can

00:02:12.600 talk it's not like oh we just you know some people just get married and be like yeah let me do a video

00:02:16.040 giving you a nasir on how to have a successful marriage yeah okay so this is something that's a

00:02:19.680 relationship that's that's been going on for about seven years with all kinds of roller

00:02:23.640 crosses ups and downs and gunshots uh not literally yeah assalamualaikum how are you

00:02:28.940 assalamualaikum salam alhamdulillah you're good um yes we've got the half a meter distance

00:02:35.280 i think it's supposed to be two meters but yeah i think i guess this is good enough yeah exactly so

00:02:41.800 let's talk about let's talk about how our friendship started okay yes where did i meet you

00:02:49.860 i think i met you with um brother imran in a time ago yeah you met me at his house

00:02:56.120 yeah we were gonna go paris yeah we were gonna go paris yeah and we did go paris yes and you met

00:03:02.620 me at his house yes exactly that's what made you i can remember mashu was very young and i think if

00:03:08.180 not your dad was when i would chill with your dad would be like why is this guy chilling with you

00:03:12.000 because of the age gap my dad would ask me he that was a bit later because i don't think we

00:03:17.740 became close straight away no but it was like obviously yeah but my dad would ask me why did

00:03:21.980 you why is this 27 however old you were 25 year old i was like i think i was 23 then yeah why is

00:03:27.440 this guy chilling with you you're like 16 yeah why is this 20 year olds 16 year olds yeah but um

00:03:33.480 yeah yeah because i think with you like you you seem mature like your age you look mature and i thought

00:03:41.080 you seem mature as well but yeah i think at the end of the day it was you know it's like if people get

00:03:46.620 it just shows you you know it doesn't and age doesn't really matter you know is this even in

00:03:50.760 friendship you know yeah like as long as you're on the same level of course obviously i'm not gonna

00:03:55.100 start going chilling with a 12 year old or 13 year old do you get what i'm trying to say if i'm like

00:03:58.200 uh 20 years old something like that so we had do you ever remember like our first ever argument we

00:04:05.220 had i don't think i don't think so i think i do actually yeah i think i do yeah you want me to

00:04:12.980 mention what it was about if you want do you remember it no i think it was at mellow's house

00:04:18.940 oh yeah oh yeah tell him yeah so basically yeah um there was there was there was ali at that time

00:04:29.080 was newly practicing and i wasn't i wasn't some sort of i didn't really i didn't know much myself

00:04:36.400 right but it's a thing where like um basically ali wasn't married he was newly practicing

00:04:43.760 you you were bro beginners like you you would make like very basic mistakes like you were just 0.99

00:04:50.860 beginning bro i remember you used to do this sometimes and be like touch wood and i'm like bro

00:04:55.240 i didn't notice it initially but then when i noticed i was like bro what is that why do you keep doing

00:05:00.320 that then i realized bro some like kufri shirki thing or something right but um that's what i'm

00:05:05.520 saying we didn't know we were just young and we just wanted to do something good you know do some

00:05:10.320 good deeds and stuff so um i remember you was online advising a sister or a brother yeah about their

00:05:16.840 marriage oh in the dms yeah and i think you were saying like cut it off or don't you know you had

00:05:23.420 this very militant kind of mindset with i think it's because of your previous experiences but you had

00:05:27.420 this militant mindset about guys and whatnot and what they're out to do and i just that was our

00:05:32.560 first argument officially and i just advised you and i said bro i don't think you should do that

00:05:37.380 because i don't think you're in a position to do that yeah i think with marriage it's a big thing yeah

00:05:43.320 and i don't think you should be doing that and i should also show the viewers something this is like

00:05:47.120 a side note but it's a very quick one that um online none of us are in a position where we can just

00:05:54.020 talk yeah you know we have people that will pull us up we will pull each other up yeah if ali does

00:05:59.100 something i'll give him a phone call yeah you know we do it with even with muhammad hijab like we talk

00:06:03.980 to each other we have we were talking about this today yeah we have these conversations amongst each

00:06:07.840 other and they get heated sometimes but like at that time it got heated basically i told you no and

00:06:12.180 i don't think you were having it and i took i'm taking our revenge from him with the marriage

00:06:15.340 documentary i said i will talk about yeah but it was that was basically our first one so that was the

00:06:19.980 first one now what do you think a lot of people like what i've noticed personally is

00:06:23.240 relationship like my friendship with you muhammad hijab different different people in in context

00:06:27.760 and things that i've observed one thing that i see is people easily and this is a big trait that

00:06:36.160 happens with marriage as well we live in such comfort that we think okay we treat what we do is we treat

00:06:43.180 things as a materialistic object so this if i don't like this i'm going to drink this if i don't like

00:06:49.040 this i'm going to replace i'm going to say i'm not having this again yeah yeah yeah yeah so now

00:06:53.500 what happens is this mentality we carry it to friendship and marriages yeah this is a very

00:06:57.360 big correlation yeah okay this is one of the reasons i'm developing my personal app which

00:07:01.980 inshallah with people of knowledge as well because it's it's a big problem this is just friendship

00:07:07.580 we're talking about now when it comes to marriages marriages where you've got kids suffering you've got 1.00

00:07:11.220 families you've got and this is a family unit islam is there the sharia is there to protect the

00:07:14.900 family unit that's always so harsh against adultery outside of marriage you get it yeah the punishment

00:07:19.420 is so severe to protect the family unit and it was not the consequences of people who haven't had

00:07:23.320 their father in their life their mother in their life do you get it so what we do is we treat friendship

00:07:27.340 and marriage like that i don't like it i'll replace it bro you know i'll get well i'll get rid of it i'll

00:07:31.680 get rid of it simple as that we do this with everything food we eat the clothes that we wear

00:07:35.180 everything i don't like it i'll replace it now what happens is with the friendship we apply the same

00:07:39.460 problems happening bun you bruv i don't need you okay do you get it now before i came to islam

00:07:46.280 as from the kurdish turkish community friendship is it's seen as something strong like it's something

00:07:51.780 where you call each other there's a word called kanka yeah it's like it means kankardishim yeah 0.72

00:07:58.400 kankardishim that's where the it's short in the air so kanka means like my blood brother you're my

00:08:03.400 blood brother even though you're not blood brother but you say kankardishim and some of them actually

00:08:07.060 we used to actually yeah i just remember we used to do this in the in jahiliya you would cut

00:08:12.560 yourself you will cut your arm for example let's say you cut yourself and we'll join the blood 0.91

00:08:17.440 together and we'll become kankardish like we're blood brothers it was something i just remembered

00:08:20.940 now something i forgot i think i did that yeah and there might be a mark somewhere around here

00:08:25.000 yeah this is quite interesting but you see then the friendship was strong like sometimes you know

00:08:31.660 you know you'll do whatever for your friend yeah yeah the thing with when it came to islam 0.99

00:08:37.000 with islam it's greater than that bro do you get what i'm trying to say it's brotherhood now yeah

00:08:40.460 this is brother this is why for example noh alayhi salam when allah subhanahu wa ta'ala when he said

00:08:44.140 like save me and my family when his son when he was calling his son and his son didn't come what did

00:08:49.380 he do he said oh allah like you said you will save me and my family and allah you know um what's that

00:08:55.740 word rebuked the prophet in a way where he said look if you don't want to be amongst the losers

00:09:01.760 what was what do we learn from this we learned that your family is not the people who are

00:09:07.120 transgressing against us your family are the ones of iman in real in reality no allah explicitly said

00:09:12.280 that exactly yeah he's not from your family exactly allah explicitly exactly and and because what and

00:09:19.380 why because allah says in the quran in surah hood why why allah gave a reason as well why is he's not

00:09:24.560 you're from your family yeah uh innahu amalun ghayru salih that his actions yeah right if i quoted

00:09:31.960 the ayah correctly his actions were not righteous actions that's why he's not from your family 0.99

00:09:36.700 exactly yeah so do you see where allah is telling us the importance of that so be it with abu bakir

00:09:42.440 and umar abu qatar they have disputes as well so one thing that we think is that in friendship

00:09:46.440 there's going to be no disputes we apply the same thing in marriage yeah and it fails because we're

00:09:50.480 like you're supposed to the the heated discussion problems that we had some of them are what peak

00:09:57.500 which we're going to come to but one thing that was coming to is actually sometimes we see friendship

00:10:02.240 in islam which is sad we see as muslims we don't really treat it as friendship anything we have a 0.74

00:10:08.680 problem with you this that banyu i've never seen any good from him you know this guy start talking

00:10:13.260 behind him and you're thinking how the big lah like first you're a believer bro backbiting is a sin

00:10:17.680 yeah okay sometimes you can get angry okay we understand but the thing is to dismiss somebody

00:10:22.060 immediately bro i see this trait with a lot of people yeah personally muslims yeah i see this a

00:10:28.720 lot just easily disregard i never seen any good from him finish good he's like this anyways he's like

00:10:33.680 that anyways and then you think wow so all of this time you've been thinking like that yeah don't you

00:10:37.520 think do you not see that i see it bro i see it and and i feel like um bro it's a real thing it's a real

00:10:47.060 thing where it's like if it wasn't for islam i don't believe even us we would be friends and i 0.97

00:10:52.500 think we're very close alhamdulillah like i don't think i have another friend even some of my other

00:10:57.620 close friends i don't have this relationship with them where i can just walk them into my house yeah

00:11:01.800 it's not like that even with them yeah i think maybe you're one of the only people i can do that

00:11:06.200 with if there's anyone else even it's not coming to my head honestly and i'm not just saying that yeah

00:11:10.580 uh so even with me i can say the same to you i can say with you're the only one that when i'm angry

00:11:16.540 i will go full out on you like my little brother yeah and that you might see that as well this guy

00:11:22.360 and i see as you know what like my relationship with you is so much that i can go really angry

00:11:26.640 and you do that with me as well but this is the thing there was a time where i thought ban this guy

00:11:29.840 yeah but the thing is now yeah there was time for ban this guy yeah it was it was i'm sure it was

00:11:35.540 but the thing is what's beautiful about islam and i think this is why this video is so important

00:11:39.940 what's beautiful about islam is that it teaches you to look past that because a lot of people this 1.00

00:11:46.200 is why a lot of friendships they end yes you see this is why a lot of friendships they end and

00:11:50.440 islam also like encourages you to end friendships for the sake of allah yes but the point is that 0.91

00:11:56.180 friendships when they're based on this for the sake of allah yeah the little petty arguments that you

00:12:00.280 have with your friends which are not reasons to end a friendship yeah they keep your friendship

00:12:04.900 together the for the sake of allah thing keeps your friendship together and it makes it stronger

00:12:09.080 and it makes it exactly more loyal and it makes it that's bro do you get it like for the sake loving

00:12:14.540 for the sake of allah is a concept i never understood yeah the first couple years of it

00:12:17.700 until the penny dropped from because when you love someone for the sake of allah it's unconditional

00:12:23.220 or you try to make unconditional because with friendship you can get stuff like you know it could be

00:12:28.400 like a form of you can have a riba interest it's based on something you can have a riba friendship

00:12:33.140 meaning you do something okay i'll do this in return or something do you get it it's like a

00:12:37.480 form of riba like your is and that thing can also be feelings by the way exactly exactly it doesn't

00:12:41.800 need to be something tangible no exactly but that's what i'm saying it can be the way someone makes

00:12:44.940 you feel and as soon as you stop feeling like that yeah at last you cut that person exactly so

00:12:49.300 when we talk about um loving for the sake of allah you're doing you're saying i am getting you

00:12:55.080 this for the sake of allah i don't want anything in return if you say thank you to me no if you come to me

00:13:01.280 later and say you know what brother you are the dirt of this earth i'll say you know what you know

00:13:04.560 when i bought you that well i have no regrets i'm not going to come and say you know what brother i

00:13:07.600 know i wish you ever know look how i'm grateful oh so you didn't do for the sake of allah it was you

00:13:11.860 did something and now because you have this well let's suppose he wrongs you if you're doing it for

00:13:15.820 the sake of allah you are not going to be because some people come and say to him bro you did this and

00:13:19.780 this to this person but look how he treated you i go okay okay what's your point no no okay what's your

00:13:25.280 point i don't understand okay what's your point oh you know what because some people like come and say okay

00:13:29.560 you know what this person said this about you okay what's your point brother let's let's suppose

00:13:33.960 he said that okay he said that all right okay if i've if i've done what i've done for the sake of

00:13:38.060 allah actually he can call me wherever he likes he can beat me up irrelevant so that's why it's

00:13:42.600 important for us to have that and not dismiss each other okay you know all right let me be friends

00:13:46.880 with him because i have some gain out of him do you get it oh i need him for this this is fake

00:13:51.640 this is not friendship let alone brotherhood let alone brotherhood in islam do you have brotherhood

00:13:56.900 people have brotherhood yeah yeah because you know you have different people different i'm not

00:14:00.240 talking about ikhwan muslim by the way yeah people have brotherhood yeah but we're talking about in

00:14:05.180 islam bro friends don't do that let alone people have brotherhood yeah non muslims have brotherhood 0.92

00:14:09.780 but in islam you don't do that and i think we should get rid of this habit if you have a friend that 0.99

00:14:14.500 you fell out with not talk to seriously man first you look is it that deep okay is it that deep if it's

00:14:20.440 not look overcome it me and musa we've had up and down yeah there's times because the thing is i

00:14:26.520 believe our personalities sometimes clash yeah and that's something major but most people in a marriage

00:14:31.660 if that was like thing toxic but i can't be around this guy do you get it but the thing is there's ways

00:14:36.860 of going about it do you get it why do you have to cut it from the root you know there's ways about

00:14:40.980 going going about sometimes i do things where i know it yeah with you you're just like like you can

00:14:48.040 see brother your color your face you just flip and then when you see when i see you flip i'm like

00:14:52.440 why is this guy flipping and i'll start flipping it was so much so that we had this what three four

00:14:57.260 five months ago in the shan's house with the smarter janet's house yeah and we had the like a

00:15:02.280 big like literally like that day i was i was like you know what enough like when i mean enough i

00:15:06.500 know i'm not going to talk to him but i said you know what i'm going to change my stance with this

00:15:09.320 guy yeah because it seems like this guy's taking the mick do you get it like look at like i'm older

00:15:13.060 than him as well yeah like you have forget friendship you respect me for i'm older than you yeah i was i just went on

00:15:17.960 a bit i said you know what now not only him i said bare people i think it's i blame myself i said you

00:15:21.900 know what i think i'm i'm being too kind people taking my kindness for all the stuff will go in

00:15:25.840 from my head i sent you an audio note and i said look you know what from now on i never said i'm

00:15:29.620 ending my friendship i said look i'm going to keep a certain da da da extension you get it but i can't

00:15:33.640 because around you i can't i just end up being myself you try to but you just can't but that was one

00:15:39.240 time it was so much so that he shan messaged me after you've done that post on instagram like a week ago

00:15:43.440 yeah a week ago he spoke to me as well actually it was youtube no i told you i told you you told me

00:15:49.840 so this is a screenshot yeah you can see it so he's like oh it's good you guys patched up things yeah

00:15:54.040 so in his head he's thinking even me i was thinking yeah he's thinking five six months ago to now we

00:15:59.980 haven't spoken and we just we just made up now because see see and i told him bro we we we saw it

00:16:04.920 like a week or something like not even a week yeah two days a day yeah yeah exactly we said but we

00:16:10.300 went home together yeah yeah yeah exactly no that's what i'm saying bro come on the way home

00:16:13.880 bro what the argument we had like i'm being i just said look let's agree to disagree yeah by the way

00:16:19.020 i still stand by what i said yeah yeah no that's fine yeah now this is the thing right this is the

00:16:23.940 thing um by the way our arguments are often not over petty things it's not like oh why did you do

00:16:29.520 this yeah that's also another thing that i think we should mention yeah i think nearly every argument

00:16:33.620 we've had it has been about that one yes and that shows something even that one was about some

00:16:38.080 that was a bit more of a personal that was a bit personal yeah but it was to do with the deen

00:16:42.120 right yeah in a way yeah for me yeah but but this is the thing now that i think i think what we need

00:16:48.380 to understand from from well i don't know if you're going to mention examples are you going to mention

00:16:51.380 examples or but like for example there was a time where we were there was a whole tommy robinson

00:16:56.940 thing going on yeah i've got very strong opinions about um things that happen online i don't agree with

00:17:04.320 certain things i don't agree with uh being um overtly focused on one individual or one group

00:17:12.100 and making your whole youtube channel about that and i'll say this even on your channel bro i know

00:17:16.260 this is going on your channel but this is just me bro you get it like i don't like even i was talking

00:17:21.100 to you about today about another brother i was saying bro we need to chat to him why is he focusing so

00:17:24.720 much on these people do you get it yeah okay boy yeah well do you get it and we chat to him bro do

00:17:34.380 you get it like so but we love each other and it's genuine love bro when we see each other it's love

00:17:38.820 bro do you get it i know that you guys would that's how it is bro yeah but our conversations

00:17:43.860 about the dawah i have very strong views so like at that time uh we were doing i was i was doing salam

00:17:49.660 right and um salam was different at that time as well it was different dynamics going yeah so

00:17:55.160 basically was hijab there no he was supposed to i think i think he came after he came afterwards he

00:18:01.780 came afterwards but basically what happens is that it was me and you there and i i was i was setting up

00:18:08.700 like a banner and our tent and stuff like that in marble arch to for us to give dawah right so what

00:18:14.920 happens is ali um at that time was very focused on the whole tommy robinson thing right all right

00:18:20.580 which i didn't agree with in the first place like but your dad said specifically stay like leave them

00:18:25.040 now yeah as in like because because you had been going on them for a long time now yeah and i i just

00:18:29.980 have the mentality that give your dawah you don't need to cling on to people that was my thing

00:18:37.060 right now with you what happened is some girl i don't know who she is yeah yeah she came

00:18:43.460 and she started picking she's got some big following as well apparently and whatnot and

00:18:48.580 she's from that that far right kind of group yeah right she starts speaking to you now and you went

00:18:53.820 to speak to her yeah now i don't know after that what happened and i'll tell you why because basically

00:18:59.140 i just remember feeling imraj was there i think yeah i remember being really angry like i remember i saw

00:19:07.480 red that's the only time that in my whole life where i've been so angry because i was because

00:19:13.200 i was frustrated like we're here trying to give dawah we're here and there's these far right guys

00:19:17.840 coming and we're just getting sidetracked that's how i saw it right so i don't know what i said to

00:19:22.740 you i don't know what i've done yeah but i think i said something to you yeah

00:19:26.180 yeah no the thing is with me they're like i was told like leave these guys now because they're

00:19:32.760 diverting that way etc i said okay no problem but he just went off and and the way i saw it is i'm

00:19:36.940 holding this it was windy i still remember i was helping you don't try it bro yeah i was helping

00:19:40.320 you what happened is i'm carrying i'm carrying water bottles what's this and then lauren southern

00:19:44.760 somewhere i was making dua to allah to bring let me come across this let me see the thing that i was

00:19:49.060 saying because she's lying against them yeah i'm carrying water bottles and then who do i see in front of me

00:19:53.400 lauren southern and can i speak to you i was like look i'm thinking in my head yeah so part of

00:19:59.320 look at the timing we started at nine and these guys are telling me look leave them and i'm like

00:20:02.540 okay look from now on i'm leaving it i'm not i'm leaving it then she pops right in front of me and 1.00

00:20:07.620 i said look we're doing a campaign you can hold themselves yeah no no no no listen i said come you

00:20:13.440 can come and have a bottle of water etc you can come and you can come there i said i'm gonna be

00:20:17.480 because i'm busy right now yeah because i realized and i thought if they come i gave them some of

00:20:20.760 these dates that we had or some cocky thing try to break ice etc and then when i realized they want

00:20:25.380 to talk i said look i said he was saying look bro you talk i said usa they came here they came i said

00:20:31.860 if you want to at least come here because i'm not going to talk to you guys like that so they came

00:20:35.300 and they talked etc and then they went there and i said look i think i spoke to your dad or something

00:20:41.180 like that there was a back for i think he kind of gave me permission or something along those i can't

00:20:44.920 remember he briefly said look if you are go there or something like that and then but anyway i don't think he

00:20:49.960 was there at that time i think he came i can't remember i can't think it was just me you and

00:20:53.140 yeah yeah at that time but yeah yeah i think your dad came after i can't remember but anyway i don't

00:20:57.580 know what happened yeah yeah but i just me i was like no i'm never talking to this guy we just got

00:21:02.320 into it and i was like look bro this is craziness like according to me yeah because a person's mind

00:21:08.200 works in a specific way they have certain things in their mind yeah i was thinking this is junoon

00:21:12.440 this is madness what are you doing yeah and i lost it yeah it didn't justify the way i lost it i lost it

00:21:18.800 completely i was like well and even us alhamdulillah yeah there is never and this is one thing that i have

00:21:24.760 to mention boy by the way for benefit this is something i have to mention for benefit yeah

00:21:28.720 we've gotten into it where we've seen i saw red yeah uh because i remember i don't you know when

00:21:35.200 they show in movies like people get angry and they go red not that we watch movies and whatnot but you

00:21:39.100 know what i'm giving an example or in cartoons it goes red bro i remember it's like i remember

00:21:44.620 blacking out looking at you like this guy like this guy has annoyed me for so long about this yeah

00:21:51.800 yeah i'm going for you now yeah i don't know what i said to you but one thing that i will mention here

00:21:58.160 not one of the arguments we've had yeah in all of our years of friendship where we've ever become

00:22:04.820 abusive to each other yeah where we've ever sworn at each other yeah where we've ever hit each other

00:22:09.460 it's never never not even swearing at each other yeah yeah and you correct me if i'm wrong that's

00:22:14.200 true we've never done that yeah are you smiling for a reason no it's true we've never we've never

00:22:18.640 we've never we've never we've never we've never we've never we've never we've never we've never

00:22:20.340 we've never done and i just thought about that now that wasn't a planned point by the way i just

00:22:23.340 remembered that now yeah and that that is because with because i don't want the reason i'm mentioning

00:22:29.740 is some people may listen to this and think oh it's normal what happens with me and my friends

00:22:33.040 when we swear at each other no no it's not normal no no and this is the thing i so i remember i spoke to

00:22:36.960 one brother in his marriage and he asked me for advice a friend of mine and i said to him don't

00:22:41.900 swear it's not normal to swear in your marriage and he said it's normal to swear bro couple swear

00:22:45.900 and i said to him it's normal according to you there's a practicing brother because you've made

00:22:50.380 it normal yes i said you have to be so strict on yourself where you don't swear at your wife

00:22:55.560 you don't swear even when you get angry you don't swear the moment you swear respect is going down

00:23:01.200 from there because if you can start calling each other names bro that means the respect from there

00:23:06.020 is down alhamdulillah i i can and i don't think it's a big deal to say it that's why i'm gonna

00:23:11.180 say it i don't swear i don't swear full stop i don't it's not something in my vocabulary exactly

00:23:16.640 you don't swear i know that because i've been around you yeah so it's a thing where like you

00:23:21.280 need to understand that even the arguments we're talking about are aggressive one for the dawah

00:23:27.480 but they also we're not even abusing each other yeah but we were just i think at that point in time

00:23:33.880 we just agreed that okay let's just yeah no that was the only moment that was the only moment where

00:23:39.360 i said you know what i'm not talking but that's the heat of the moment i said i'm not speaking

00:23:42.800 no let me ask you a question bro yeah um i believe i caused that argument yeah i believe i caused it

00:23:48.860 because of what i said oh yeah one thing one thing that i really like love about you as a friend is

00:23:54.140 that when you acknowledge your mistake you say it this one thing that i've realized and this is one

00:24:00.480 thing i can say is a key to successful marriage and friendship is that you don't have this ego

00:24:07.080 it's that look you know what bro you call and be that you know i was wrong you have moments where

00:24:11.360 you shine like when i mean shine i'm not saying you know shine bright like a diamond i'm talking

00:24:15.360 about shine like you're mad you lose it yeah but then you have your moments you just calm down

00:24:20.320 and then and then and then you say bro if i have do you get it and i think that's so fundamental

00:24:25.720 bro you have to and and you know in your relationships i think with marriage with

00:24:29.500 friendship with brotherhood sisterhood you have to drop the ego yes you have to you can't have an

00:24:34.200 ego you know and this is subhanallah this is an islamic concept one but two there's books you can

00:24:40.100 read on this but not muslims yeah you know like uh what's his name ryan holiday wrote a book called

00:24:44.280 ego is the enemy the title is ego is the enemy yeah it's a book about how ego is going to mess you up

00:24:49.600 yeah you have ego it's going to mess you up yeah yeah and and and and the thing is from an islamic 0.99

00:24:53.700 perspective yeah ego is not a good thing so in your relationships it's like a chill vibe anyway

00:25:00.600 but like ego yeah is an is is an enemy of yours yes yeah so what you have to understand is that in

00:25:07.620 your relationships you can't have ego you know ali one of the things that gets to me yeah is when

00:25:11.840 people treat islam like like a theoretical thing yeah and i've seen this in a lot of people may allah

00:25:17.640 protect us from it people treat islam like something of theory so when they're actually in a 0.65

00:25:22.340 situation and they know what islam says they won't act by it they won't yeah they'll be but but i'm 0.67

00:25:29.460 like islam is for that situation do you understand yeah like it's islam isn't like for example when the

00:25:36.020 prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam spoke about arrogance or you know or spoke about bad traits of

00:25:40.720 people jealousy hasad he's not speaking about that in ideal situations it's it's in situations that

00:25:47.460 maybe can't get rough yeah don't have arrogance well when when allah says in the quran

00:25:52.020 uh uh

00:25:54.580 uh when allah says when the ibadur rahman yeah in surah furqan one of the traits of the slaves of 0.86

00:26:08.500 rahman yeah is that when someone comes to them with jahiliya yeah with ignorance swearing at you

00:26:17.300 abusing you etc what do they say alu salama they say salam yeah now someone may come and say

00:26:23.940 akhi i was angry akhi you have to understand bro i reacted like this of course i had to swear at you

00:26:29.500 akhi you was doing that to me of course i have to yeah bro that's not islam yeah islam is

00:26:34.420 when someone comes to you with jahiliya okay khalas may allah bless you akhi and from a genuine place

00:26:42.140 and then you leave it exactly yeah that's that's it's fine that's how it is and people are idealistic

00:26:46.700 bro they think that these situations are for ideal no no man of course not you know idealistic

00:26:51.660 this this happened with you know the best of people um and to be honest with me like even

00:26:56.480 there's some people are going to be like there's some people look we speak to people they think that

00:27:00.480 we don't speak to which we have kind of in the public sphere fallen out with yeah yeah we speak i'll be

00:27:05.300 honest with us people think if i see some people that that we have disagreements with yeah that we

00:27:09.540 believe should repent for some things yeah that we believe these things but people think yeah if

00:27:14.520 we see them on the street it's on sight yeah yeah we're it's not like that bro we're not gangsters

00:27:20.160 bro like we're just brothers so it's like we'll say salam salam aleikum how are you how's the family

00:27:25.560 no we speak we'll speak like you know certain people speak with me it's it will take a lot you'd have to

00:27:29.840 do something major personally to me for me to speak to you most of the times i've fallen out with certain

00:27:34.820 like brothers is because of the injustice that i believe they have made others suffer

00:27:39.280 i think it's from an islamic perspective it's personally for me it's like look it's nothing

00:27:42.580 you've done done to me because if i look at these brothers masha'Allah like they've done a lot for

00:27:46.260 me my personal life do you get what i'm trying to say and i i i will testify to allah and i make

00:27:49.600 dua for them but it's the injustice which they've done to others maybe not even intentionally but when

00:27:55.120 i see that is that when i've done that you get what i'm trying to say so that's it man i don't know

00:27:59.280 is there anything else is there anything let's end it on this is anything that you would change one

00:28:03.180 thing about me if there was one thing you would change about me besides my looks

00:28:09.480 i don't you're not my wife first of all secondly i'm your friend yeah i there's nothing i would

00:28:18.220 change about you wow subhanallah i don't think i'd change anything about you i wouldn't change

00:28:24.280 anything about you i agree with you i won't change anything about you because it's fine bro you get it

00:28:29.620 like i accept you for for for the problematic person that you are if you would like to friend

00:28:36.340 me i wouldn't i wouldn't change anything about you bro i think you're a very genuine person i'm not

00:28:39.900 just saying that because you're here but i think that um you haven't changed um with your online

00:28:45.620 persona that really happens and i hope that you don't i hope that you know that i don't care if

00:28:51.160 you've got 400 000 subscribers i couldn't i couldn't care i couldn't care honestly and we've had

00:28:58.540 like because look and i think that that's maybe i don't know if it makes you realize this but maybe

00:29:02.820 that makes you think of me as genuine as well because some friends are here they hang around

00:29:06.560 people they want to get close to people which is something i don't understand to benefit from them

00:29:10.700 yeah yeah that's what i said the amount of people that we've met even being in the dawah yeah

00:29:14.200 well financially mashallah well off and whatnot bro we could literally like

00:29:18.680 be their best friends just for the sake of money but that's that's that's how it needs to be bro look

00:29:23.660 the thing is you need to understand you have to be real with yourself yeah with me there's been

00:29:27.260 people in my life where like bro like they had so much to offer like in the context i can say

00:29:33.980 monetary of them yeah bro monetary that i have said you know what brother i'm so sorry i'm seeing

00:29:40.340 what i'm gaining here and what i'm about to lose but if i'm gonna look at myself in the mirror and be

00:29:45.260 like you didn't speak out getting this injustice because of this how can i live with myself how how

00:29:49.840 fake can you be that i'm gonna turn a blind eye to an oppression because i have monetary gain from

00:29:55.180 here sorry so the thing is bro and sisters be real to yourself don't be fake wallahi not only with

00:30:00.840 your friends be sincere let me tell you something allah has a sunnah physical laws guarantee that's a

00:30:06.420 physical law there's metaphysical laws allah's put in place yeah there is metaphysical laws allah's

00:30:11.720 put in place just in this gravity there's metaphysical laws if you apply them wallah you'll be

00:30:15.620 successful wallah and believe me i've seen it i've applied it and i haven't lost anything

00:30:20.980 i haven't lost anything so it's very important bro and sisters for us to acknowledge that and

00:30:26.700 have true friendship if you're having a friendship wallahi and you're using somebody you're just

00:30:31.960 fooling yourself well i should tell you because you know what allah's sunnah will apply that

00:30:35.160 metaphysical law you're using them it'll be only to your detriment it'll be to your detriment

00:30:39.820 because that person wouldn't lose anything anything that you do um you know allah says in the quran

00:30:44.840 this is the last thing i'll say yeah very famous ayah you might may hear it on jumuas right

00:30:57.140 allah says yeah allah says oh you who believe enter into submission completely completely

00:31:06.560 completely come allah is not saying 90 completely and don't follow the footsteps of shaytan he is

00:31:17.080 to you a clear enemy right there's a book that i'm reading and in it the author mentions that if you

00:31:24.340 enter into submission 90 you will harm yourself yeah if you enter into submission 95 you will harm

00:31:32.160 yourself 99 this is the point that is expressed in the book right 99 you will harm yourself you have

00:31:38.300 to that's it you have to enter completely what that means is with your relationships they need

00:31:45.640 to be for the sake of allah yeah and and you'll see this bro looking in terms of your life are you

00:31:50.540 in complete submission in all of your life in the areas where you're not you're suffering and you'll say

00:31:55.580 it yourself if you're wronging yourself if you're wronging allah's laws you haven't entered in

00:32:01.640 submission completely part of allah's laws is that you need to do things for his sake you need to be

00:32:07.140 in friendships for his sake you need to not be in friendships for the sake of other for for monetary

00:32:11.680 things if you're doing that then there's not going to be blessings in that you wouldn't and the thing

00:32:15.860 is bro one and that's how ali people who've been friends for sorry one last they've been friends for

00:32:20.100 10 years and they stop 10 years 15 years they've been friends for and they stop and they don't talk to

00:32:25.620 each other ever again you know and this is a problem you need to be friends for the sake of allah

00:32:30.240 and what is that what is allah saying in the quran don't forget the fadl between you don't forget

00:32:36.140 the virtue that you had between you yeah that's very interesting it's a beautiful ayah i heard

00:32:39.320 this somewhere did you yeah i mentioned it to you the other day yeah i remember and by the way this

00:32:43.220 is about the monday classes at ustad jamal which i'm personally dedicated i'm taking mondays off

00:32:48.680 obviously we got quarantine so they've been off yeah but in elm let me tell you how he explained it

00:32:53.240 yeah i was blown away i was like and please just elaborate on that a little bit that the favors

00:32:58.940 um so one of the things that we've learned from our teacher is that you should use the quran as

00:33:04.700 maxims in your life don't just read the quran and put on the shelf memorize parts portions of the

00:33:09.820 quran even if you're not going to do all of it you should have the goal to memorize all of it but

00:33:12.880 like memorize portions and just use them as maxims so this is one portion i memorized

00:33:17.280 if i have a problem with you now i should remember that don't remember the virtue that

00:33:22.200 you had between you and ali apply it to yourself don't remember don't forget the virtue don't forget

00:33:27.620 the good times don't forget when you went on holiday together exactly in dubai i remember that to this

00:33:32.120 day that holiday we went in dubai how beautiful it was how nice it was so yeah basically guys so

00:33:36.940 that's what happens when any kind of fallout happens what we do is we automatically go to

00:33:41.260 all the negative things and if you think about the good outweighs the bad yeah but we pick on

00:33:47.120 okay no he did this he did that is it worth dismissing someone and your friendship just

00:33:51.520 because of one thing that they that they did and you need to ask yourself is that person intentionally

00:33:56.520 doing it to hurt you if you're a friend look seriously you need to ask yourself a question

00:33:59.940 okay he did something to hurt me if that is intentional then you need to question okay look

00:34:04.900 why are you doing something to hurt me is it intentional if there's your friend it shouldn't

00:34:08.960 be intentional yeah so you need to speak and communication is key should i tell you something

00:34:14.060 another issue that destroys marriages and friendships is whatsapp well i have seen so

00:34:18.260 many arguments oh i thought you meant like this yeah i don't do that anymore bro trust me i don't

00:34:22.860 do that speak on the phone i was having a conversation with someone the other day and i just called

00:34:27.200 you don't do that that's no no but i'm telling you speak on in person that's it yeah that's it

00:34:34.500 anything else um i was just gonna say one last thing yeah which is that allah says in the quran

00:34:39.060 about how people on yomul qiyamah yeah they will be to each other enemies yeah they will be to each

00:34:47.160 other enemy and all but allah makes a distinction he says accept the mutaqoon yeah the god conscious 0.97

00:34:54.220 yeah so that shows you that everyone's going to be enemies to each other you're going to be my enemy

00:34:59.660 if this isn't if we aren't god conscious so we need to be god conscious we need to have taqwa

00:35:04.460 and part of having taqwa of course would be to be to do things for the sake of allah exactly so do

00:35:10.140 your friendships for the sake of allah exactly exactly brothers sisters may allah bless you

00:35:13.820 guys hope you guys benefited from this inshallah and if you've got friends that you fell out with

00:35:16.860 make up inshallah yeah that's a good that's an important point yes you should you should make up

00:35:20.880 watch this video together inshallah it's not that deep inshallah and try your best to love each

00:35:25.140 other for the sake of allah subhanahu wa ta'ala may allah keep our friendship with our friends

00:35:28.940 um strong in this life and the hereafter brothers sisters inshallah and may allah inshallah

00:35:34.460 unite us in jannah together that is the real aim and objective of what we're doing here

00:35:38.080 assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh if you like this video want similar videos anything to do

00:35:43.760 with that real talk like that comment we might just carry on doing it you never know you can just do it

00:35:47.480 again inshallah bye

Ali Dawah - June 05, 2020

WHY WE FELL OUT - FRIENDSHIP FOR DUMMIES

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