00:02:58.000hello welcome once again to another exciting episode of victory never sleeps
00:03:06.040tonight we are in for a very special treat my lovely wife mandy is going to join us this evening
00:03:14.160she's got to wrangle our daughter here quick at the beginning and get her all
00:03:19.240settled so she can get on so she'll be joining us here in uh in just a few
00:03:24.060but yeah we got uh got exciting things going on these are very exciting times to be
00:03:34.440to be Alcitru and and very exciting times to be in the AFA um I'm going to start off the
00:03:42.440evening on a uh on an amazing note um you guys have heard me on here uh talking about this for
00:03:51.580several months and asking for donations and trying to ring dollars out of you guys. And I really
00:03:59.120appreciate everyone who's been generous and allowed for this to happen. As of today, Sigurheim is
00:04:06.040ours. We have closed on the property. We have our location now. Right now it is raw land in a dream.
00:04:16.780But in the coming years, coming months, years and decades, it will become a beautiful and amazing home for the Astru Folk Assembly, for many of our members, for Tiershoff and got a lot of really special things going to happen there.
00:04:38.440So I am very excited to announce that and I think it is necessary to give a huge thank you to
00:04:51.240Daniel Mason and his wife Kira and to Goethe Daniel Young. These folks have helped make this
00:04:59.960happen in a huge way. Daniel has been on top of this. This has been something that he has done
00:05:05.560all of the running around and the legwork for thank you guys so much um
00:05:13.880we appreciate you and history will appreciate you
00:05:21.720so i'm very excited i'm uh still still wrapping my head around it and absorbing all of it this is a
00:05:29.400it's a very very exciting thing and a very exciting time um
00:05:38.520what else i've been spending so much of my uh my effort on that this last you know few weeks that's
00:05:45.960been a lot of my focus i'm trying to think of what else i need to need to mention to you guys or what
00:05:50.680else we've got going on in the astro folk assembly in the coming months i know everybody is getting
00:05:56.200geared up and excited for yule this month some of you guys have your yule celebrations coming up i
00:06:01.960know a few people like folks out in washington have already done uh some of their yule celebrations
00:06:07.800so um as that gets closer i wish you and yours an amazing yule this year there's plenty plenty to
00:06:16.040celebrate um so coming up uh next year the first event that i know about that's happening that i
00:06:31.000want you guys to get squared away on if you can do it is going to be charming of the plow at
00:06:37.320njordshoff this is going to be njordshoff's first national event that they're hosting
00:06:43.320and i'm very excited for that it's going to be in february it's a lovely time of year in florida
00:06:49.560it's not too hot it's not too cold um it's just right and we're looking forward to all you guys
00:06:55.400coming there if we have information on it if we could throw it up on the screen or certainly if
00:07:00.120folk builders over on the side can uh let me or uh let it be known what the dates are and that's
00:07:07.880going to be at njordshoff in white springs florida um yeah with that we will we will kill some time
00:07:16.520until my wife gets here we've got plenty of local events going on i want you guys to make sure you're
00:07:21.640checking out your local hoff district websites those have event calendars and uh you know i was
00:07:27.560talking with nick earlier about how many events we have going on each week and it's you know it's
00:07:33.880hard to tell exactly but the short answer is lots um you know just thinking about it there's probably
00:07:43.000at least eight to ten events going on every weekend that are afa events spread across
00:07:49.640across the country but also around the world um since i talked to you last we've got our first
00:07:55.160that i know about french member we've got first that i know about a dutch member as well we've
00:08:02.680got good things happening in uh in south africa with a relatively new apprentice folk builder
00:08:08.520there that's doing great things got a lot of good things happening um looking over at the side i am
00:08:17.560i'm seeing lots of lots of celebrating i'm celebrating tonight with some sierra nevada
00:08:23.720narwhal imperial stout and it's delicious and i appreciate you guys being partners on this
00:08:32.280this journey i also see um over in the chat another uh promised donation from roland blake
00:08:41.960roland you have consistently been donating to make this happen and it is much much appreciated
00:08:47.640thank you very much um before i get going i know we got some questions lining up that i'm happy to
00:08:54.200get to i want to um mention we are on several different platforms right now we're broadcasting
00:09:01.560on YouTube. We are on Entropy if you want to go participate in any Super Chat feature or if you
00:09:07.380want to give tips slash donations there. Those are always welcome and always very useful to us.
00:09:14.300We are on Odyssey and we are on VK and Twitter. So please check us out there and anybody listening
00:09:23.980on those platforms. Great to have you with us. First question from Tim.
00:09:31.560Matt, do you and Mandy have any Yule traditions in your home or from your childhood you want to share with us?
00:09:42.960Mandy, you know what? I want to say that we've got lots of great Yule traditions.
00:09:49.820We're working on establishing some of those and getting that figured out because now we've got Aubrey and she's getting old enough to really enjoy that.
00:09:58.380I mean, certainly we've got different traditions and celebrations from our childhood.
00:10:04.300I'm trying to think of anything that's, you know, particularly, particularly outstanding and
00:10:12.400coming up fairly blank on it. And I wish I had something, something fantastic for you guys.
00:10:19.900I really don't other than the same stuff that folks normally do. This has always been my favorite
00:10:25.500time of year especially as a kid one thing i i really you know remember fondly as a kid was
00:10:32.460my parents taking me around to see all the all the lights and that was always you know such a neat
00:10:38.780thing and we've got a it doesn't seem like people do lights quite as much as they have in previous
00:10:44.860years but um here in here in reno we've got a really cool neighborhood that they go all out
00:10:50.700and it's like they compete with each other for these amazing yard displays and one of them is
00:10:55.740has a radio station that they synchronize to to their holiday music and all the lights go off in
00:11:02.860you know in sync with the music and it's really it's really something to see so i mean certainly
00:11:08.540that i've got these two candle holders from when i was a little kid that my dad got and we always
00:11:15.340called them the moose dogs because they're the like worst attempt at making a reindeer it basically
00:11:20.460looks like a dog that's got moose antlers they're supposed to be reindeer they're not but they're
00:11:25.020really cool and i have them um and that's something from my childhood that i kept
00:11:29.100so i wish i had an awesome answer about special yule traditions that i've got and i really don't
00:11:35.740um king of cheese uh matt good to see you tonight uh how's working out at the gym going
00:11:45.020Working out in the gym is always going good. I look forward to that all the time.
00:11:50.000It makes me happy. It certainly is good stress relief or anything else, but it's just a
00:11:55.560cool thing. I love going to our gym specifically. There's a lot of people that don't like a crowded
00:12:03.920gym. They always like to go when it's not crowded or they would prefer a home gym to where they
00:12:08.200don't have to deal with the crowds or whatever. That's not me. I'm the opposite. I love when the
00:12:14.240gym is crowded. Not when it's so crowded that I can't get the equipment that I want, but I just
00:12:18.660like being around so many people doing things to better themselves. So many people with their eye
00:12:26.080towards making themselves the very best they can be. I'm lucky. The gym that I go to, American Iron,
00:12:32.800it's got ranked powerlifters, ranked strongmen, ranked bodybuilders, both male and female,
00:12:42.040all kind of athletes and folks there that are really doing their best to make make their bodies
00:12:50.080the very best they can to achieve excellence at their sport and it's just cool to surround
00:12:55.640yourself with people that are working that hard i think that that uh that drive and that positivity
00:13:00.720rubs off so i look forward to that so i always love going to the gym it's you know i i could say
00:13:08.140there's a training reason that i go every single day and uh you know there's something to that but
00:13:14.620it's more that i just really like to be there and i like to go and i like having done it it's uh
00:13:25.42023 24 years and uh my joints aren't uh particularly happy with me about it but um
00:13:33.820But no, Jim's going great. Thank you for asking. Chris. So I'm kind of picking through our questions because I'm going to save the Mandy ones till she gets on with us.
00:13:50.560um so we've got a question is there a group nearby the tri-cities area i gotta say i'm
00:14:01.120not familiar with what three cities the tri-cities makes up if somebody wants to let me know over in
00:14:07.680the side or whatever i can shed some light on that
00:14:10.560sorry guys i'm looking through the questions to try to find ones that i want to
00:14:28.320that don't uh that wouldn't be better having mandy chime in on also i'm sorry
00:14:43.540tonight is a continuation of our uh series on the noble virtues and i don't just have mandy
00:14:51.500on here because she is fantastic and because i love her i have mandy on here because
00:14:56.420AFA leadership very strongly thought that she was the example that should be on tonight to represent the value and the virtue of fidelity.
00:15:09.420Fidelity very often in today's common common speech is associated with with relation like romantic relationships.
00:15:25.420But it doesn't really mean that. It's got such a bigger meaning. And it's something that I want
00:15:32.320us to talk about and kind of internalize tonight. Fidelity comes from the root of faithfulness or
00:15:40.160being loyal to something. So it's a word that at its core means loyalty to something, to someone,
00:15:48.840to a group of someone's. Certainly that applies in your romantic relationship, but it also
00:15:55.680applies and was much more commonly used in the past to be your allegiance to a lord,
00:16:06.840to a king, to your country, to your group, to your tribe, your fidelity, your loyalty with
00:16:15.460yours, whatever that group might be, but that value of that enduring loyalty.
00:16:23.260And that's why it's such an important virtue. And one thing about fidelity is it's one of our
00:16:33.140virtues that's very easy to talk about in the abstract and this common sense from a distance,
00:16:40.480But when it comes down to pressure and consequence, it's much harder to remain loyal to something or to someone when that's out of fashion or when there's a social consequence to it, when there is, you know, we've always heard about the fair weather friends.
00:17:01.180It's much harder to maintain your loyalty when times are hard
00:17:08.100and when there's shared sacrifice or there's shared risk.
00:17:12.200That's when fidelity really gets tested.
00:17:28.420All right, Nick, go ahead and throw up that graphic.
00:17:31.180I'm talking about a couple of Sigurheim things here. We've got got one asking us what locate where the location what part of Tennessee Sigurheim is in.
00:17:46.180So, out of abundance of caution, we're not super giving out the address and everything just yet.
00:17:53.420All of that will come in the coming days and weeks.
00:27:15.380oh yeah actually yes there's there's only one thing i can think of and i'm sorry it's only
00:27:19.380half my face but let me see um we would go to a very close family friends every christmas eve
00:27:27.700and we would have we would have meatballs and just appetizers and we would just do presents
00:27:36.080and it was we did that for probably 25 years actually um until the yeah until the woman that
00:27:43.900was the host just became too old or old to host it but that's kind of the only thing that we would
00:27:52.240really really do tradition wise you guys like seafood so here's a here's a uh a inside baseball
00:28:05.120note from the flavelle house aubrey will be perfectly well behaved and silent but the second
00:28:12.000one of us unmutes the mic to talk all of a sudden aubrey's got to make every noise she can think of
00:28:17.600she's going to be going to bed in probably the next 15 or 20 minutes that's a game she likes
00:28:22.000to play, just so you guys know. All right, so Christine has a question for you. Hey, Christine!
00:28:30.400Mandy, how do you stay positive and loyal when people say negative things about the AFA,
00:28:36.000your husband, and yourself? I couldn't always, especially when it comes to staying positive.
00:28:45.600Matt and I do this every single day the AFA is is 95 maybe more percent of our lives and so
00:28:53.220it's hard not to take everything personally because I mean you're talking about my family
00:29:00.880um like when somebody leaves I used to just get so mad like how dare you how dare you
00:29:06.760leave and then talk a bunch of lies about us or speak poorly about us when the day before we were
00:29:14.860best friends. And I guess it's just gotten to a point where that stuff just doesn't really matter
00:29:22.080anymore. We've, we've grown to such a level that those are the people that are the losers. They're
00:29:28.580the ones that aren't in our family anymore. And it sucks to suck for them. They're not going to
00:29:36.620get to enjoy all the awesome things that we are here now. Was that her question? Did I answer
00:29:44.620question christine i hope that was your question i i'm distracted i think i think you of all the
00:29:49.180women i know know exactly exactly about that well i think that mandy makes a really important uh
00:29:57.820point there we take everything personal and uh maybe i'm sure there's a lot of people that don't
00:30:07.820think that we should or would advise like don't take it personally but i think that one of the
00:30:14.300the reasons what we have is so special and this works the way that it does is because it is a
00:30:22.340family and because we do take it personal. I don't think I would be nearly as effective as
00:30:27.580an ulterior gothy if I was able to just leave this, you know, leave it at work and not put
00:30:36.120all of my heart into this. I'll tell you this for mine, not that you asked, but I'm interjecting
00:30:42.360anyway i think it's relevant um it's always hard and we feel betrayed when people who like she said
00:30:51.240they were our best friends we were super close and then all of a sudden the next day they split
00:30:54.920with us and feel the need to attack the very next day the very next day and we were the worst people
00:31:01.640in the world and they're saying things about matt that are just so unbelievably untrue and the
00:31:06.840i get mad about those things and i stress about those things
00:31:14.940but my wife gets sad about those things and i think the hardest thing for me
00:31:24.300with betrayal and people saying negative things about us is watching my wife open herself up
00:31:34.440to these, you know, to these people. And you'd never know it, but Mandy's not naturally the most
00:31:39.360outgoing person. Fake it till you make it, baby. Well, her opening herself up and letting these
00:31:47.300people in emotionally and giving of herself to these people, and then to see the sadness in her
00:31:55.020face when they repay that so very poorly, that's the hardest thing for me. I can take it. I can
00:32:03.360take a lot of it, but watching it hurt my wife is really hard for me. Thank you, Christine. You are
00:32:10.980gorgeous too. Oh, sorry. I'm used to being on the other side of the chat. So we have another question
00:32:23.880with dating culture being what it is. Most of us enter into marriage with baggage. Any advice on
00:32:32.500how best to manage this we'll let you go first on this maybe um
00:32:43.220oh i will say first off baby thank you that i don't ever have to to online date ever again
00:32:51.220because that is a true nightmare and that was 10 years ago i can't even imagine what it's like now
00:32:55.860um i mean i've got i've got my fair amount uh i just try to remember that
00:33:06.420matt is not any of them and nothing that happened before i met him is his fault
00:33:13.640or or really has anything to do with him um
00:33:17.480as far as, I guess, if you mean like trauma, I, I really couldn't speak to that. I don't feel,
00:33:29.200I don't feel like I could speak to that. Um, but yeah, I would say, um, I would say
00:33:38.920if you have that much baggage, you, and this is what I would tell my girlfriends too. And this
00:33:44.000is what I've told girlfriends over the years. If you have, don't go out dating. If you're not
00:33:52.480somebody, somebody would want to date, date yourself first. Um, be someone that somebody
00:33:59.000else wants to date, find out who you are and who you're actually looking for and not just who you
00:34:05.900think you're looking for. Yeah, I think you guys are tough. I was ready for this to be tough. I
00:34:15.860knew you guys were going to be tough. Well, so that's one of the things, and not only with dating
00:34:22.220culture the way it is, but I don't know how much you want to share or whatever, but this is not
00:34:31.000either Mandy or myself's first marriage. And, you know, we got together in our thirties,
00:34:40.200in our mid thirties. So, you know, anybody who's been an adult that long has been through some
00:34:46.680things and got some mileage on them. Well, we also met each other, probably one of the lowest
00:34:52.540points in my life. And it was, it was a really unexpected time too. And I think that it was,
00:34:57.520um, I mean, I, I knew immediately, like I, I called my best friend the moment my plane landed
00:35:03.860and I was like, I met him. I don't know how it's going to work. I don't know how it's going to
00:35:09.100work out. I don't know when I said, but it's done. And this, we had never had any, there was no
00:35:18.420romantic anything at that point. But, um, yeah, no, I was, I was widowed before I met that. I
00:35:27.500And I mean, it was probably 10 years before we even met.
00:35:37.220So I had had time to process that as best you can.
00:35:43.500But yeah, I mean, sometimes I think when you're not looking is really when you might be the most successful.
00:35:52.440what so i think that some common advice for the baggage is to you know not compare who you're
00:36:03.320with to the people that you've had in your past but i don't think that's possible um
00:36:09.960i don't and maybe it's just i'm lucky because i got mandy but i don't
00:36:16.760i don't do that in a negative way one of the things that's been cool is you know i feel
00:36:28.040regret for wasted time on relationships before that didn't work out or you know
00:36:34.360in retrospect were a bad idea but it's it if in a way it makes me appreciate what i have now
00:36:45.240so much more and to see the things that make this relationship make this situation and make mandy
00:36:54.360better than previous situations and previous people that i was with um one of the biggest
00:37:02.040things as far as baggage wise with stuff i think that you know i had gotten really used to compromising
00:37:07.720on a lot of things and i got really used to you know not having an house a true woman but just
00:37:13.320being lucky having somebody that's you know open to me doing what i need to do it makes such a
00:37:19.560difference having a marriage but first having a relationship and a marriage that's based around
00:37:26.680our faith that that's kind of the point of commonality that brought mandy and i together
00:37:31.640um we had mutual friends in the afa and at the time we got together i lived in anchorage alaska
00:37:38.520i say anchorage i lived right outside of anchorage in a little town called palmer and mandy lived in
00:37:44.080florida we were as far on this continent apart as you could realistically be but we had some
00:37:51.520friends in common that that spoke you know spoke highly that they thought we'd like each other i
00:37:58.040know the first time they went hard talking about it was we were driving through the
00:38:06.640Tudor Bergerwald in Germany. Myself, the McNallans, and this guy Brad and his fiance Gilly. And they,
00:38:17.820I forget what we were talking about, but they just went on and on about how much I, you know,
00:38:22.000think Mandy was great and this and that, and how much we need to meet each other.
00:38:25.740And that turns out that was, you know, only a few months before we actually did get to meet each
00:38:30.220other. And they've been telling me the same thing. And I kept brushing it off. Like, that's
00:38:34.760ridiculous dudes in Alaska. Couldn't be further away. Get away from me with that stuff.
00:38:40.160But no, we met at winter nights in the Poconos that year. And
00:38:44.480yeah, it was pretty, it was pretty amazing. And things, things happened at the right time.
00:38:50.940And, you know, I, it's one of the ways that I have been hugely, hugely blessed in, in this life.
00:38:59.600I've got another question from Fawn. Mandy, what does fidelity mean to you?
00:39:07.780Did you already? So what have you already talked about?
00:39:11.220I talked about some Sigerheim stuff with folks, and then I basically gave the definition that fidelity is not just a relationship.
00:39:18.780Well, it's not just a romantic relationship thing. It basically means loyalty to to cause, to person, to leader, to mate, to comrades.
00:39:29.600Yeah, I mean, I, that would be really what I would say. I don't, I don't do a lot of half measures. I'm kind of all in or nothing that will tell you, you're either my friend or my enemy, or a person I know, I don't really have levels for things like that.
00:39:48.980So once that's been, for me, once that's been broken, there's a slim to none chance.
00:39:57.320And it's something I'm working on because it's probably not the best trait, but there's a slim to none chance that you're getting back in.
00:40:04.140And I unfortunately expect that of people as well.
00:40:10.080And like Matt said, I tend to get hurt pretty badly when that's not returned.
00:41:55.660There is, you know, standing firm or there's being a turncoat.
00:41:59.960And those. Those those reflect and make each other of them stand out, we are so repulsed by the person who is not loyal because they are standing in the light of the people that are champions of loyalty.
00:42:18.800and uh you know by that same token we see how valuable it is to have somebody who is
00:42:27.380to the bones loyal because we see the fairweather friends that you know that have no code um yeah
00:42:36.820there's so i was nominated for this but my my choices were actually uh go see rob stam and
00:42:44.020go see trent east who both had uh they stayed true to us when when because of us and sometimes
00:42:56.360and because of us the things happened in their life that were not great and uh i'll never forget
00:43:03.080that robin trent are some ride or die homies even though trent's ignoring me right now that's fine
00:43:11.380so is his wife oh his wife ignores people hardcore hand bone come on so um another question
00:43:22.660from ally what is the best marriage advice you've received what
00:43:30.900what what advice would you this is not me the question was written strange
00:43:36.180What advice would you give to AFA couples?
01:00:52.120If the option was, you know, just where to live as a single family, we love it here.
01:00:58.640but I would rather live anywhere surrounded by my very best friends and by people who are part
01:01:07.400of my AFA family than to be isolated somewhere else and so the idea is to be in this community
01:01:16.220every day and not just live close to other AFA members but interact with them every single day
01:01:22.700to live that village lifestyle with people that I care about and people that I share things with
01:01:31.040and to have my family be a part of that and have that community to have you know if I'm out of
01:01:36.680town I know there's people that are going to take care of my wife and my daughter if something goes
01:01:40.460wrong or they need something or there's you know a plumbing issue or whatever else and by that same
01:01:47.540token if our friends if other members who are there leave we can help look after their kids
01:01:52.300We can help check in on their on their wives if they need help.
01:01:56.760Having that is is such a that's been the dream.
01:02:01.060That's been the dream since certainly since I joined, joined the AFA, since I found Ossetru and, you know, reading and being aware of our history.
01:02:09.440That's been the dream all along. And so Sigurheim is a huge thing for that.
01:02:15.420And I'm looking forward to being around other families and other couples that we love and sharing our life together on that.
01:02:25.680And having something beautiful and special for our children to grow up in and grow up into means a lot to my family.
01:02:36.980uh what is the requirement for homesteading there at siggerheim so we're working on that i wish i
01:02:47.600had a really perfect answer for you there's certainly thoughts um one of the the first
01:02:53.920orders of business now that we've purchased the land i'm sorry shay that was awesome
01:03:00.920apparently there's awesome things going on in the side chat i don't know about
01:03:06.640hopefully not at my expense but either one so what i was going to say though is um
01:03:18.880fidelity is one of the requirements i'm sorry to plug tonight's a core topic but realistically
01:03:25.440that's the idea is people that are going to be super afa loyal because it's a it's a significant
01:03:32.000investment and it's a big deal um people that want to participate and make this their life and not
01:03:42.000just a group they pay some dues to and are in and out but make this their church make this their
01:03:46.800family and be willing to do that we want people who are going to be able to now we're going to
01:03:52.560build eventually um like guest cabins or guest dormitory areas or however that's going to be
01:03:59.840set up to where people who don't have their stuff figured out financially have a place to stay while
01:04:04.800they do that but um ideally it's going to be uh ideally families i'm not saying a hard rule on no
01:04:13.680singles but the idea is is families um who are willing to build a nice home there now that can
01:04:25.680be a relatively humble home or it could be a mansion that depends i don't know your finances
01:04:30.960but i want you to be able to build your dream there um but what it does mean is we're not
01:04:35.600going to look like the res our stuff's going to be well taken care of we're not going to it's
01:04:40.160not going to be junky it's going to be something worthy of our gods looking at and being proud of
01:04:46.080and not being offended by all the beat up you know broke down vehicles in the lawn and trash
01:04:51.280in the front that's not going to happen um the other thing is and i mean this is a financial
01:04:56.720commitment to the success of siggerheim if we run through hard times if something comes up
01:05:02.240it's going to be on the people in that community to make sure that it works and that that community
01:05:11.520works and so that's going to take different uh different shape depending on what we're doing i
01:05:16.560think that as a first step people who want to homestead there instead of the one percent hoff
01:05:23.280toller probably to start out at ten percent hoff toller for living there
01:05:32.960well again it's not like a a fee thing it's like a being a contributing member to making
01:05:39.280sure that this community is successful one of the other things is it's never going to be fair
01:05:43.680the first pioneers that go there are going to invest way more of themselves than the people
01:05:48.640that come in you know number 10 number 11 number 12 they're going to have figured it all out they're
01:05:55.040going to have to spend less and if the issue is fairness it's never going to be fair but the issue
01:06:01.520if the issue is this is what you love and where you want to raise your family then we want to
01:06:05.680help make that happen so the exact requirements we're having our law speaker alan and uh
01:06:13.680and a couple other members who are attorneys look into that and try to get that figured out on just
01:06:18.960exactly the shape that's going to take to where it's the most protected for what we're trying to
01:06:24.480do but if that's something you're interested in reach out to your folk builder and they can get
01:06:29.600you to me and we can get that figured out if it's something you're you're considering um
01:06:34.640um king of cheese is asking his uh extremely question uh how are the three of you doing today
01:06:45.040well i hope mandy how are you doing okay first off tony that was awesome i couldn't stop giggling
01:06:52.880tony if you haven't been reading the chat babe tony has changed his name to king of shishi
01:06:58.240so i'm doing a little bit sleepy but uh i'm doing good aubrey seems to be doing good she's a little
01:07:09.340bit we just got home from soccer which is probably why she's eating all the food in the house
01:07:13.240but she also did not take a nap so aubrey's been pretty good today we've had a pretty good day
01:07:20.080um i'm doing great like i said i have been this is just me i stress don't worry about it but over
01:07:27.780getting close to getting Sigurheim here the the problems always come in the last couple you know
01:07:34.980in the last stretch of the race so I've been stressing that and it's really nice now to sit
01:07:40.700back to have be able to that's finally real it's the thing we have that we have a piece of land now
01:07:46.500we can reach out and touch that we're going to build our future on
01:07:49.640and so i am i am overjoyed i am particularly proud tonight that my wife is on here with us
01:08:00.740and uh mostly proud of my daughter when she's not making loud noises that are interrupting
01:08:05.780i had a head injury remember that time she broke my nose she broke my nose y'all that's the first
01:08:11.900broken bone i've ever had in my whole life she broke my nose so baby heads are a thing
01:08:19.620And so we were I was sleeping and it was Mandy's turn to go in there and deal with Aubrey because she was having a hard time.
01:08:26.460And this was probably a year ago. And so Mandy goes in there and I wake up to this like crash, boom, bang, there's chaos in the child's room.
01:08:38.500I get up and I go in there. Mandy is unconscious on the floor and my daughter is standing up on the bed looking at her like confused as to how that happened.
01:08:48.400And apparently they were in there laying down on the bed and it was pitch black.
01:08:54.240Aubrey stands up. Next thing you know, she falls over like a tree and her head impacts Mandy's nose and breaks it and knocks her unconscious.
01:09:06.960And I went in there and it was the craziest situation.
01:09:10.760So when you deal with toddlers, keep your hands up and be aware of where their head is at all times.
01:09:18.400Okay. So I was just reminded that I walked away before I finished my answering my question about White Springs. So, oh, yes. Okay. I, I think I just talked about who was there. Um, I remember we did like a kind of fireside, like little informal thing. And then the next day, gosh, I really don't remember.
01:09:48.400much about the ritual. It's been 12, 13 years. And then we went to Stephen Foster State Park,
01:09:56.740which is right there. And that was really cool. I'm excited to go back to that because it should
01:10:01.880be super close to the Hoff. I can't remember if I was a member of that. I must have been.
01:10:10.980But yeah, so it was pretty cool for me to see that the location we were choosing was where I
01:10:14.920held my first not backyard but actual went to a afa event and that was really cool
01:10:21.380full circle for me it was weird one might say um don't say that in front of alan no i said it
01:10:30.960appropriately i'm meaning it the appropriate way alan would celebrate me on this um specifically
01:10:38.460for this event because he was involved in the weirdness uh so we got another question mandy
01:10:44.660can you tell us about your journey into joining the afa sure um well i was raised sort of without
01:10:54.260any religion so um yeah my mom didn't really practice anything and so but if you grew up in
01:11:03.780the south you know that if you were staying over at a friend's house you were going to church with
01:11:08.900them on sunday morning if you stayed over saturday night or if you stayed the weekend with them you
01:11:14.340you were probably going to go to Bible Baptist church.
01:32:35.920so it one of the things that i deal with a lot
01:32:42.800as a gothi is dealing with people who are going through um through depression in their life
01:32:49.440Especially, that was a huge thing during the COVID lockdowns.
01:32:57.660So many people that struggled with depression had their normal means of dealing with that taken away from them.
01:33:06.780Obviously, it was very hard for them to go in person to any kind of therapy that they may have been going to.
01:33:13.520But just activities that they had to help cope with their depression.
01:33:17.780if they like to go out to the bar while those are closed if they like to go to the game
01:33:21.620when they couldn't do that if they liked to you know go do anything
01:33:30.900anything that they had in their life to cope with those things was taken from them it was a very hard
01:33:36.820time um as far as advice that i would say on dealing with people with depression
01:33:44.980don't assume you can fix it don't assume that you have to have
01:33:55.060good night aubrey don't assume that you have to have the right answer that's going to change it
01:34:02.140for them. Um, it's, this is something I tell our go thar too. You didn't break it. And I say that
01:34:15.940I don't know if maybe you were the cause of this person's, but I'm assuming that you're not,
01:34:20.620you didn't cause this problem. The only thing you can do is try to help. So everything you do
01:34:27.840counts and is good and matters. You don't have to have the right answer that fixes it. What is
01:34:37.000always beneficial to do is to be able to listen and to actively listen. Don't let there be any
01:34:44.420doubt that maybe you're not paying attention or that maybe you're not fully devoted to it,
01:34:50.600But you don't have to have you don't have to solve it. But, man, that's terrible.
01:34:58.520Yeah, it hurts hearing you say that. Man, I I hear what you're saying.
01:35:04.580I'm so sorry you're going through that. But I hear you. I love you. I care about you.
01:35:09.940Is there anything I can do? And just that helps a lot more than you would think that it does.
01:35:17.920um if somebody's going through depression one of the things that i've noticed in my time as a
01:35:26.060goethe is when people are depressed they want to pull away and retreat and kind of curl up in a
01:35:31.060ball and pull away from all their friends and family it's the exact wrong thing to do but it's
01:35:38.140what all of us including myself want to do it's what our tendency is to do if you have someone
01:35:45.920you care about who's depressed, see if you can hang out with them. You don't have to take them
01:35:50.580out and do something crazy. You can just sit there and watch TV and have something to eat with them.
01:35:55.620But surround them with love and with people that care about them. The more you can be around them,
01:36:04.400and again, don't force yourself in, but if they're open to it, have them be around people
01:36:12.040and just listen to them and there's something that's very valuable about somebody who's
01:36:18.520willing to witness what you're going through acknowledge it validate it and give you a hug
01:36:26.360and be there for you and sometimes it's the best thing you can do and if there's more specifics
01:36:32.600i could advise a little bit more specifically but as a general rule that's what i would say
01:36:38.440and thank you for asking antonio i think it's a really good question and so many of our people
01:36:43.560today do struggle with depression so that's a really good thing you ask
01:36:56.120again i'm farming the questions here to see some
01:36:58.920just matte ones and i'll go back and get the other ones here when my wife rejoins us
01:37:08.440Oh, I'll go ahead and take ownership of this one. At what age slash economic status do you think a man is ready to marry? That depends on the man. And I know that's a cop out answer, but it really, really does.
01:37:23.720um in 2020 so in times past we have examples of people at very you know 15 16 17 that they're
01:37:35.360grown men they're holding a shield in the shield wall they're fighting for their country they're
01:37:42.560fighting for their king they're raising a family they're providing we had times where men grew up
01:37:49.520very, very early. But in 2022, we have times where men grow up very, very late. Maybe the 15-year-old
01:37:59.800that I mentioned from 1600 that was a grown man, we have guys that are 27 that aren't as mature as
01:38:09.160that young man. So I don't think I can put a specific age on it. But what I want to dispel
01:38:18.820is this myth of economic status any economic status um you can be making zero get married and
01:38:32.100start a family um there's a couple things and i know this is controversial there's a difference
01:38:41.540between what i would vote for and what i would take advantage of and by take advantage i don't
01:38:47.540mean anything shady our system is structured a certain way if there are benefits set aside to
01:38:55.860provide for you if you are young economically disadvantaged and you have children
01:39:02.900take as much of that as you are legally entitled to take if you don't then my tax dollars are going
01:39:12.660to go to other groups of people and not to my own people if we're going to be taxed for it just the
01:39:19.380same i want my tax dollars to help my people just like other folks want their tax dollars to help
01:39:26.580their folks so you're in take everything you're entitled to to make that work for you and your
01:39:33.540family i have seen too much in life that if you wait for the perfect time then time passes you by
01:39:42.020and you find yourself old and alone and barren and you know wow i finally got my
01:39:49.220finances figured out and i'm 60 and you're you're kind of out of luck um
01:39:56.660i'll say this and it wasn't so much economics it was just thinking that i had forever
01:40:01.940and not taking the time we didn't have aubrey until both of us were 39 years old
01:40:09.300we were very fortunate that that's something we were able to have happen
01:40:15.140that was our shot and we could have very easily missed it the both of us had spent most of our
01:40:24.820you know child producing years and we'll get to it when the time's right and if you play the game
01:40:33.640like that the clock will run out on you before you know it so i think that uh
01:40:41.560but here's another thing so you said it's not just economic and you said what age but it's not so
01:40:46.600much the age it's the maturity what i would say is don't do if you still need to be at the club
01:40:54.600every night going home with a different ship don't get married and try to beat a square
01:41:03.640You need to be the kind of man that so I'd I'd say this and I'm this is a convoluted answer, but there's a lot of different factors to it.
01:41:19.080You need to be at a point where you can be the man that you would want your daughter to marry before you decide to marry somebody else's daughter.
01:41:29.160women are primed very early to want to get married to this guy and if you're not ready to be that guy
01:41:41.540then it's probably not a good time for you to be married and that changes in the course of a man's
01:41:49.280life. At least I know it did for me. So if you still need to measure your success by how many
01:41:58.820women you can get to go home with you, I'm not faulting that. Don't get married when you're in
01:42:09.120that phase. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to your wife. It's not fair to your family.
01:42:13.860get to a point where you want to be and can legitimately try to be the man that you would
01:42:25.100want a future daughter of yours to marry. And then you're okay to marry someone else's daughter.
01:42:33.300And I hope that's, I hope that's meaningful.
01:42:36.260Again, I know I'm skipping through the questions differently because I'm waiting for Mandy to get
01:42:48.740back. Okay, so this is a really interesting question. Thank you, Allie. As a Goethe,
01:42:57.260have you ever been asked to marry a couple you knew were not going to work?
01:43:02.360no so far i haven't but i do anticipate that's a very likely thing to have happen
01:43:12.780i did marry a couple one time that i didn't know very well but they wanted me to do it
01:43:21.040and and i did and i don't blame myself for this but i was really offended that that marriage
01:43:29.900only lasted a couple of months and i don't feel like either of them tried very hard to make it
01:43:34.620stay i don't know their relationship i don't know all of the details and i'm not trying to call them
01:43:40.540out personally but i think that's the closest i've come to the question that you're asking
01:43:47.260one thing our gothar really try to do and i know that we have varying degrees of how
01:43:52.860intrusive this is depending on the circumstance but we do try to do a little bit of marital
01:43:58.060counseling before we perform a wedding to help that couple make sure that they're ready to take
01:44:05.740that step now we don't push that we don't force that so it's on them but we would like to provide
01:44:13.820that so that they know this is something they want to do and i think with a couple in question
01:44:20.220we tried that a little bit and uh but yeah that one stuck with me because it was really
01:44:25.980i don't like doing that and then having people not take it seriously
01:44:30.700so uh that's the closest i've come and i hope that answers the question
01:44:35.420okay so we have another question again from chelsea uh and i think this is a good question
01:47:31.580um if you're gonna come into these circles don't don't go hoeing around uh people see that people
01:47:41.660talk um your past is your past but um just just be a woman of quality a woman that people want
01:47:50.220to be around people that a man would be proud to have on his arm um in terms of advice i didn't
01:47:57.780realize and i mean this was eight or nine years ago that um single women weren't really coming
01:48:07.280around in these circles i i didn't know that i just was coming around um i lasted exactly one
01:48:15.300national event but um yeah i i would say don't be scared to come to an event and even if
01:48:27.740has to be a larger event um i know it can be super intimidating you don't really know what's
01:48:33.420what's going on who's going to be there um is it going to be a sausage fest is it going to be
01:48:40.000just all women anymore it could be could be any of those things now man um but yeah i would i would
01:48:50.040say if you're hesitant if you're not a member yet reach out to one of our folk builders and we have
01:48:57.400so many female folk builders now and they don't even necessarily need to be in your state but
01:49:01.400reach out to one of us you can reach out to me um and uh yeah we'll talk to you but see what
01:49:09.400we're about instead of seeing what you might see written about us all right um can you please talk
01:49:19.960about the importance of shared values in a relationship slash marriage or even friendships
01:49:26.760thanks go ahead and take that one first i really couldn't imagine it any other way i mean
01:49:33.720i briefly for maybe less than a year dated somebody who was a strict catholic he had
01:49:38.600zero interest in also true like zero um i had zero interest in catholicism i will say
01:49:44.760i've never been to mass before and mass was mass was interesting not enough that i would
01:49:49.240want to convert or anything but just mass is super interesting i i love the traditions i love the
01:49:55.160the rituals um i honestly i want to compare it to football in the sec like um there's football but
01:50:02.740then there's just all the awesome traditions that go with it um and that was that was really lovely
01:50:09.020i went on a to a midnight mass service and i think there was one other one i was just trying
01:50:15.700to be supportive it turned out that guy was kind of a jerk so it worked it didn't work out worked
01:50:21.280out? I don't know. I don't remember the question. Oh yeah. And since then, I can't imagine it any
01:50:37.300other way. And Matt and I are pretty, I don't know if it's unique, but we're only a month apart in
01:50:41.900age and we were raised kind of similarly. So we know all the same jokes. We almost never, ever,
01:50:48.100ever have to explain the joke. We both get it. Always. Almost always. He's dumb. He's dumb sometimes.
01:51:01.060Maybe. But yeah, I just can't, even if he wasn't my husband, he would probably still be my best
01:51:10.780friend. Um, because I mean, everything in terms of we both, man, if you know us in person, you
01:51:19.980know, we are, we are eaters. We are excited to eat. If we know, and we don't eat out a lot because
01:51:26.280we're both on pretty strict macros. I am particularly right now, but, um, if we know
01:51:31.900we're going to go out, we will talk about it for days. If we know we're trying someplace new,
01:51:36.780we'll be we'll be looking at the menu three four days in a row I mean it's the buffet Matt and I
01:51:44.760that's how I knew it was love when we went to the buffet and there was no judgment from inside
01:51:49.600in fact I had finished one plate and he's like you're going back for more right I was like
01:51:54.180um but uh yeah just music the the sing-alongs we have in our car are ridiculous we probably
01:52:05.240alienate anybody that drives with us um any of it i just can't imagine another way i i don't
01:52:15.400ever want to imagine it being another way um yeah i if you're not if you don't have that i'm sorry
01:52:29.080is that rude if that was rude i'm sorry no we're keeping it real truth is one of our
01:52:34.760virtues truth is is cliff's virtue and cliff would approve um if you don't want the truth don't ask me
01:52:45.640no i appreciate that and he keeps it real so uh shared values it's
01:52:56.120it's huge and it's the thing that stays
01:52:59.560it stays solid throughout the years i mean circumstances and life change your situations
01:53:08.740economically change um you know having kids is a huge change there's so many variables but if
01:53:18.920your core values and core beliefs match up that is something solid to hold on to whether you're rich
01:53:26.440or you become poor, whether you're successful or you're not, no matter where you live, where you
01:53:33.960go, what you do, if you have those same core principles that you share, it's huge. And
01:53:41.440everything Mandy talked about, all the different commonalities make up so much of that day-to-day.
01:53:48.220um you need to find that with the person you're going to build a life with
01:53:54.980and it's very easy to assume that you'll build that down the road if you can just get decent
01:54:02.100you know raw material to work with but that's very very hard to count on and i think that
01:54:08.260seldom comes true the way people want it to find somebody that has those shared core principles
01:54:16.260And that's why I think it's so important that people find their mate within the AFA, is that they have our church as a foundation to build their marriage on.
01:54:28.440I think that's really important. It made all of the difference in my life and so many of us.
01:54:37.340And I think that it will in yours as well.
02:19:32.360so that was probably august two months later we were we both were able to be at winter nights in
02:19:39.800poconos in pittsylvania and uh and i met mandy and i remember walking across i was coming from
02:19:47.400the upper part of the property and she was down by that by the main building there and you know
02:19:53.400some little exchange of you know ah it's you and we got to meet each other and um that's wrong
02:20:01.960no that's not wrong that's exactly how it happened um and
02:20:09.800So I felt a little bad because I was I was very much focused on Mandy and not other responsibilities I may have had at this particular event.
02:20:20.840And I feel a little bit bad about that, but not really.
02:20:24.820But I was I was really focused on on Mandy.
02:20:37.320we like hung out together and whatever and then i remember we were in the infirmary um there's
02:20:44.680different cabins where we set up different people but there this infirmity was was heated where some
02:20:49.480of the other cabins weren't so we'd set up you know elderly people or different people there
02:20:53.880that needed some heat i don't even know why we're in there but we were and mandy did this like
02:20:59.560this thing where she like stumbled into me to see if i would catch her or not
02:21:05.720and i don't i don't know what game she was playing but i grabbed her and put her on my arm around
02:21:09.960her and caught her because i'm not because i'm raised right but that was like her secret test
02:21:16.920to see if like i would do that or if i just let her fall on her face and look there stupid i don't
02:21:21.800know i don't know what other people she'd been with but i uh you know i put my arm around her
02:21:27.960and helped her to not fall down and i think that that was apparently that scored me some points
02:21:34.840um and then we hung out together and and we were walking down there was something going on in the
02:21:39.800playhouse which was down the hill from uh the main hall there she had heels on and she did like
02:21:46.220ah please help me i can't manage them with my heels and she you know she grabbed on my
02:21:52.500and and that was good um it was real though it was a ploy but it was real
02:22:01.700so i don't wear heels at events anymore you should fix that heels are awesome so we walked down there
02:22:09.140um and then when everybody else was watching the music and doing other things we sat on the porch
02:22:15.060there in these porch swings and just hung out and talked and spent that time together and you know
02:22:22.340You know, somebody came by and gave us some Moldovan wine, and we drank the Moldovan wine and hung out together and spent the evening spending time together.
02:22:36.380And it was it was really, really nice. And I mean, it was all it was all done at that point.
02:23:32.520Wow. So that was a clever turn of phrase, but you made a mistake and asked the wrong
02:23:40.040person that sits here and analyzes this stuff it's like being spawned last week somebody asked
02:23:44.680a question like what's your five favorite books so i gotta actually think about that what would
02:23:51.080the flavel uh flavor be mandy says pickles we all like pickles pickles are delicious
02:23:58.360i'm not that's that's easy so hold on um
02:24:01.640All right. There's no way on this podcast or this podcast slash broadcast that any of you guys are going to be interested in my thought process on this.
02:24:14.940So I'll give you a couple of things. We like acidic, mustardy and pickley flavors.
02:24:25.140that's certainly a flavor uh trait and thing um as far as mead and alcohol goes we like fruity
02:24:39.620stuff and sweet stuff i would say that orange spice is certainly a flavor flavor
02:24:48.420um as the one conferring the name i'm just going to just take ownership and say that's a thing
02:24:53.460whether it's it doesn't have to be agreed upon it's imposed um so cool i'm gonna go i'm gonna
02:25:00.180call it orange spice orange spice is the flavor flavor i'm gonna own it that's what my family's
02:25:06.420got um if aubrey somebody that makes me make it aubrey learns how to talk and says she doesn't
02:25:13.300like it then beatings will ensue no it's a it's a thing um best mead that i ever had there was two
02:25:23.060that are about tied. There was an orange spice from a former member and a pear spice from a
02:25:28.560former member. And they're the best I've ever had. Orange spice. I'm just an orange spice guy. I'm
02:25:33.440that guy that likes the chocolate oranges around Yule time. So yeah, orange spice is going to be
02:25:38.880my deal. No, Alan's orange blossom mead is my favorite. It's too dry. It's too dry. Everybody
02:25:47.600likes the law speaker's mead. I think his mead is very good quality. I just like a much sweeter
02:25:52.580mead that's that's my taste um another question will we see the flavels at the odenshoff yule
02:26:01.380you will certainly see at least a flavel at the odenshoff yule but i'm going to do everything in
02:26:06.820my power to bring uh all of the flavors there we look forward to it every year yule is we do you'll
02:26:13.700big at odin's hof um i believe i'll be doing the yule bloat there uh i love it and i hope that
02:26:23.540we'll be there for it again the past could get sketchy i'll be there for it regardless
02:26:30.580uh the king of shishi matt mandy what do you think of my new name i love it i love it as
02:26:39.380well i'm so impressed that's awesome our daughter would love it that was a nice gesture well done
02:26:47.380what region is sigerheim in so sigerheim is in thor's hof district at present
02:26:55.940once we establish tiershoff which is two hofs from now at sigerheim it will be the
02:27:03.540district seat of its own district but that's uh that's probably a few years off
02:27:13.780uh daniel says question for mandy hogan or savage what how could you even do that to me
02:27:23.220i gotta stay true this episode is about fidelity i'm gonna say hulk hogan hulkamaniac household
02:27:39.480hulk is the man my brother i'm gonna say hulk hogan see i thought you'd go deeper than that
02:27:49.460thought you'd ask me an hbk question but i'm impressed see i think hulk hogan you got to if
02:27:55.700that's the choice but that's that gives short short shrift to the macho man i think the macho
02:28:01.060man is a very strong number two that's that's hard man that's hard daniel's gonna have to put his uh
02:28:09.300it's unfortunate what he thinks in there
02:28:13.140it's it's really not the hogan is obviously better than the macho man but the macho man
02:28:17.780is better than Pretty Batch everybody else.
02:42:25.580I think most linguistically correct, scold equals should, that implies the payment of a debt. It implies what should happen.
02:42:41.500but the idea and i think it's really special in our in our faith it's not future as if this will
02:42:52.240happen because there's so many variables you can have the greatest potential in the world you can
02:43:00.600be set on the greatest course and you can just decide nope i'm gonna screw it up and you can
02:43:07.880still mess it up but scold is the future that should be and um i think the way in which i come
02:43:21.400in contact with mother schuld in uh scold in the most common way is when i do the baby namings
02:43:30.680because when i do a baby naming i draw a rune from each of the norms
02:43:34.040And I always ask, scold, to give that child something to shoot for, something to aspire to, a noble goal to direct her life towards or his life towards.
02:43:54.140and that linguistically is a really subtle difference there's no guarantee of the future
02:44:03.080our future isn't guaranteed you can turn against your destiny you can fight against the current
02:44:10.320you can drop the ball you can choose to to cut your your thread short and in your life early
02:44:18.760There's many things that somebody can do to avoid what should happen.
02:44:24.780But if you practice the mystery of Rhydo and you do the right things in the right course of time,
02:44:32.860Skull describes where you should head towards.
02:44:38.640And that's, I think, the subtle difference on that.
03:05:21.300She advises me way more than anybody realizes as far as how I do things, or if I'm going to send something out, I run it by her, and she gives me her insight.
03:05:36.180She keeps me informed of what our members and our families are going through on times that I can't keep track of all of it.