Bankas Podcast - February 06, 2024


2pm in Toronto | The Bankas Show - #044


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 4 minutes

Words per Minute

153.1465

Word Count

9,805

Sentence Count

929


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 Yeah, that's crazy.
00:00:01.200 Andrew Schultz making $250 plus a month.
00:00:04.800 That's like the bare minimum that you need to make as a comedian now to be relevant.
00:00:11.860 Comedians are like richer than ever.
00:00:13.520 They're richer than...
00:00:15.460 They're making like lawyer-doctor salaries easy.
00:00:18.300 Way more.
00:00:19.300 They said Matt Skolka will make $22 million left.
00:00:22.120 Holy fuck.
00:00:23.420 That's lawyer salary in the U.S.
00:00:25.700 He doesn't have a podcast or any other show.
00:00:28.000 He just does tours and specials.
00:00:29.380 He has a podcast.
00:00:30.540 But does he?
00:00:32.880 Yeah.
00:00:34.380 Yeah, he has a podcast with that other Italian guy that's like his buddy.
00:00:39.920 It's like the Sebastian and something show.
00:00:44.180 And it does pretty good, man.
00:00:46.260 It does pretty good.
00:00:47.460 So we're on our way, though.
00:00:48.740 We're well on our way.
00:00:50.500 It's going to be absolutely insane to make that much money.
00:00:55.880 And I'm excited for it.
00:00:57.300 And I think that that's how you have to look at it.
00:00:59.180 I mean, I don't even think the guys who are making that money right now, I don't think
00:01:04.060 they knew that they were going to make that much money.
00:01:07.880 Because they kind of invented making that much money at comedy.
00:01:11.760 Like Tim Dillon, Schultz.
00:01:13.660 At least in that way.
00:01:15.860 You know, comics have always traditionally made money through touring, right?
00:01:19.020 Like, if you, you know, whatever, Maniscalco, how much of that is touring, right?
00:01:26.900 I think it's a big amount of money for his special.
00:01:33.380 Sebastian Maniscalco.
00:01:37.560 As a part of Polestar's inaugural comedy issue, Polestar charted the top 25 comedy tours between
00:01:43.860 September 16, 2021 and September 15, 2022, which yielded a variety of tours with impressive
00:01:50.520 grosses ranging from Sebastian Maniscalco's chart topping $44.9 million to Mexican comedian
00:01:59.780 Franco Escamilla, who's yielded $4 million.
00:02:03.140 Wow.
00:02:03.520 $238,000 per show is what Maniscalco is pulling in.
00:02:10.400 So, folks, start sharing the podcast.
00:02:14.220 Thank you.
00:02:15.680 Enjoy the show.
00:02:20.860 Welcome to the Bankist Show, everybody.
00:02:23.300 It is a new week.
00:02:25.260 It is a new year.
00:02:27.400 I mean, it's February.
00:02:28.500 This is the cutoff for saying Happy New Year, by the way.
00:02:31.900 February 15th.
00:02:33.380 If you haven't said Happy New Year to somebody by that point, don't say it.
00:02:37.960 It's just awkward.
00:02:39.180 You know when you're at the airport and it's like January 28th and you're like, Happy New
00:02:45.440 Year.
00:02:45.840 And people are like, okay, it's been the new year for a bit, so you can chill on that.
00:02:50.640 But it's a new year for me.
00:02:52.080 I turned 32 yesterday.
00:02:54.280 It was an emotional 32 because, you know, my mom has dementia and all that, and I was
00:03:04.840 thinking a lot about that, just her having me, and that I was non-existent 32 years ago.
00:03:12.860 And then it's fun to just think of yourself as a little baby that is just kind of coming
00:03:22.740 to the world out of thin air, 32 years go by, and you're just, you know, you're arguing
00:03:29.740 with Ricky Gervais and the DM.
00:03:31.740 You know what I mean?
00:03:32.280 You're doing jokes about trans native kids.
00:03:39.120 It's an amazing transformation that I made from a small child that liked to say fuck
00:03:47.060 to an adult that likes to say the N-word.
00:03:51.600 Though I really, I honestly don't say the N-word that much, except I do listen to Drake
00:03:56.400 and I listen to rap.
00:03:57.440 So I do, on average, I'm saying, like, I'm saying it a few times, mostly in song, mostly
00:04:03.120 sing song.
00:04:04.620 Not a lot of saying it for the purposes of racism.
00:04:11.100 I rarely am that racist.
00:04:14.140 People don't know this about me.
00:04:15.400 I'm actually not racist.
00:04:18.780 What's the opposite of non-racist?
00:04:20.580 That's the other problem with racism.
00:04:22.340 There's no word that's like, are you a racist or a schmacist?
00:04:25.800 There's no, there's no the other side.
00:04:30.500 What is it?
00:04:31.400 It's, there's no acronym, right?
00:04:34.980 Is that an acronym?
00:04:35.480 No, an antonym.
00:04:40.400 Yeah, an antonym.
00:04:42.540 There's no antonym for racism.
00:04:45.020 That's why it's such an issue.
00:04:46.640 Are you racist or are you schplacist?
00:04:49.580 We need a word that encapsulates the opposite of racism.
00:04:55.480 Because right now they have anti-racism, which doesn't excite me at all.
00:05:02.100 You know, when I hear anti-racist, I'm like, I'd rather be a racist than an anti-racist.
00:05:07.080 Because being an anti-racist sounds like anti-racist, Antifa, Ant, Ants, just anything Ant.
00:05:16.820 I just think of an Ant.
00:05:18.200 All these little people, Antifa, Ant this, Ant that, Ant, you know, Ant whatever.
00:05:24.840 I don't want to hear Ant at all.
00:05:26.980 Even anti-LGBT, like that doesn't sound good either.
00:05:31.140 Ante.
00:05:32.060 We need to stop being anti.
00:05:33.660 You know what I am, Ante?
00:05:35.880 I'm anti-fucking retarded.
00:05:41.600 Anti-retarded.
00:05:43.560 Okay?
00:05:43.960 I just, anytime I see somebody being stupid, like I go to the mall and there's a guy yelling at a Zara wearing a Palestine flag, I'm going, I'm anti that guy.
00:05:53.080 But not because I, you know, agree with the genocide.
00:05:58.160 Because I understand why it's necessary.
00:06:03.660 That's a good little Jewish quip there.
00:06:06.020 No, it's anything.
00:06:09.500 Climate activists.
00:06:11.400 The only activism I think that is good is like the farmers.
00:06:19.000 These farmers in, in, in wherever they are, European farmer protests, which is, the French, they never put this on the mainstream news.
00:06:32.920 Like you have to read it on Vox, Euro news.
00:06:37.840 So here's, this is the Ottawa Sun.
00:06:44.900 This is like the most legit newspaper talking about this.
00:06:48.940 You said it, nothing on the farmers' protests.
00:06:51.060 Here are today's Ottawa Sun letters.
00:06:52.480 This is from one day ago on my birthday, February 4th.
00:06:55.000 Same birthday as Rosa Parks.
00:06:58.180 Farmers, which means that we're related.
00:06:59.640 Farmers drive their tractors during a protest called by local branches of major farmer unions.
00:07:06.960 This is in France, happening on January 30th, the picture.
00:07:11.280 There are massive farm protests in Europe decrying what many see as the draconian green measures being imposed by the European Union.
00:07:18.620 If you look on the internet, you'll see lots of videos of huge protests with massive tractor convoys blocking highways, dumping farm waste on public infrastructures.
00:07:25.820 As I wrote this, there was a huge convoy headed for Paris that dwarfed what we saw here in Canada, yet not a single mention of it is in our regular news media.
00:07:35.780 Doesn't it bother folks, even a teensy bit, that these momentous world events are being hidden from them?
00:07:44.100 At least that's what it seems.
00:07:45.440 The media outlets eagerly report on all kinds of banalities, but not a peep on this unprecedented continent-wide revolution.
00:07:53.520 Why is that?
00:07:54.300 It's almost as if somewhere, someone feels that this news would be in a missile.
00:08:00.280 I don't even know what the fuck that means, but I know it definitely means, basically what this person, this guy reading, writing this is saying is that they want to not show people that because they're worried that they will also take part in that and go, oh, we do have strength in numbers and all this kind of stuff.
00:08:14.960 Yeah, that's literally the whole article, by the way.
00:08:22.520 That's in the Ottawa side, it's just a, it's, that wasn't even an article, that was a letter to the editor that they, so they posted the letter to the editor.
00:08:31.160 This is on Vox from February 3rd.
00:08:34.460 There's an image of the protests.
00:08:36.020 French farmers unions, blah, blah, blah, French minister Gabriel Atal announced a series of concessions, including an agreement not to import agricultural products that use pesticides banned in the EU, as well as new financial subsidies and tax breaks.
00:08:50.680 Um, and those have appeased the French farmers, apparently, I don't know.
00:08:57.960 It's not just having a friend, it's in the Netherlands, Belgium, and Italy as well.
00:09:03.100 Belgium, Italy, Netherlands.
00:09:08.300 Okay, here's a video of it.
00:09:12.760 Of course we need a, they always have to fucking do an ad here.
00:09:17.340 A large convoy of hundreds of angry farmers driving heavy-duty tractors arrived at the European Union headquarters in Belgium today.
00:09:30.820 Now, leaders were meeting.
00:09:32.900 Why do I, is it kind of funny that they're just in tractors downtown?
00:09:37.100 It looks so stupid.
00:09:38.400 Meeting in Brussels to discuss financing for Ukraine, farmers, through eggs and stones at the European Parliament, also set fires in the area to press EU leaders to do more to help them with taxes and rising costs.
00:09:53.180 And while the farmers' crisis is not officially on the agenda of the EU summit, it is expected to be discussed.
00:09:59.440 Similar protests have been held across the EU for most of the week.
00:10:02.680 Farmers blocked traffic arteries across Belgium, France, and Italy this week.
00:10:07.620 As you have seen, there is a major farmers' protest in Brussels.
00:10:14.920 We need to be able to discuss in the council on this topic because the concerns that they have are partly legitimate.
00:10:25.760 I like that.
00:10:26.980 They're partly legitimate.
00:10:28.420 That's something that Trudeau would say.
00:10:30.360 But he never even said that.
00:10:31.900 He said that everything that the truckers stood for was completely illegitimate.
00:10:35.880 So it's kind of interesting to see, is this protest working?
00:10:41.340 And I mean, this is a video on Global News.
00:10:43.300 It has, this video has 186,000 views.
00:10:47.440 It's quite a lot.
00:10:49.480 All the comments are, stand with farmers, not politician.
00:10:53.340 Food is more important than any ideology.
00:10:56.140 No farmers, no food.
00:10:57.480 It is scary because during COVID, everybody was saying, like, oh, the next step is they're going to make it so there's no food.
00:11:06.160 Like, this is just a tester.
00:11:07.440 Because remember, during COVID, at some points, there was, like, no food because of supply chain issues and all that.
00:11:12.940 And now this is happening.
00:11:14.440 And it's like, well, is this the no food thing?
00:11:18.060 And I don't know, if farmers in America start protesting, like, I mean, they are strapped.
00:11:27.420 So they are going to be a force to be reckoned with, to be honest.
00:11:31.580 The climate transition is a key priority for our societies.
00:11:35.680 We need to make sure that our farmers can be a partner in this.
00:11:38.860 This episode is funded by my Patreon, my personal Patreon, patreon.com slash benbankus.
00:11:46.040 Go there right now for a bonus podcast episode every week.
00:11:50.620 Sometimes we're a couple days late, but I always get it to you.
00:11:53.440 And when you get it, it's good.
00:11:56.200 Go and subscribe.
00:11:57.840 $4.
00:11:59.560 I love this climate ideology where it's like, we know that this is going to fuck over a shit ton of people.
00:12:05.480 We know this is going to hurt.
00:12:06.920 We have to do it.
00:12:07.800 And I, like, I understand that one side of it that, like, climate change is going to ruin the world.
00:12:16.440 But humans, especially humans in Europe.
00:12:22.480 So the only way that climate change would really work is if we went back to India, reinvaded China,
00:12:29.320 and then put them on these environmentally draconian measures.
00:12:34.980 Because India and China is where basically most of the population of the world is.
00:12:40.860 And they're doing the most pollution, including South America, by the way, and deforestation and stuff.
00:12:46.280 But Canada, U.S., Europe, we're doing a lot less pollution.
00:12:53.500 We use nuclear energy for the most part.
00:12:55.460 We use a lot.
00:12:56.060 Now we have all these fucking wind farms and all this shit.
00:12:58.500 We're trying.
00:13:00.300 Okay?
00:13:01.260 And we're making progress.
00:13:02.560 But in India, they don't give a fuck.
00:13:06.900 Okay?
00:13:07.460 So until they have to, until those people, that's, get fired for that in 2019, those people in India that are running things should be fixing their shit before we have to fix a lot of shit.
00:13:25.580 Because it's disgusting there.
00:13:29.400 I'm sorry.
00:13:30.140 I haven't been.
00:13:31.380 I've watched a lot of travel vlogs.
00:13:35.800 And it's, you know, it's polluted.
00:13:39.420 That's pollution.
00:13:40.680 Okay?
00:13:42.280 They have done incredible efforts over the past years.
00:13:45.480 Over the past years, they have really adapted to the new standards that we have.
00:13:50.960 We have a long way to go, and we need to make sure that they can be a partner in this, and that they can be part of the discussion.
00:14:08.780 Because we are protesting today against so many rules from Europe.
00:14:14.040 It's too many for doing normal farming.
00:14:17.280 No, we have a lot of hope, if you see with how many people we are here today, and if you see it's all over Europe, so we must have hope.
00:14:25.800 We must have hope that these people see that farming is necessary.
00:14:31.960 It's the food, you know?
00:14:33.800 We must have these guys to let them see, you need us, help us, because so far is it now, we need help for normal living.
00:14:47.280 Well, those guys are our last hope for the civilized world, because if they take away farming, then there's no food, and everything collapses.
00:15:02.480 But in other news, folks, something egregious happened.
00:15:08.440 And a pro-Palestinian sang at the NHL All-Star Game.
00:15:15.180 This lady?
00:15:17.140 Thank you.
00:15:17.900 Do you even know who this is?
00:15:18.940 Kiana Lede?
00:15:21.560 Kiana Lede.
00:15:22.680 NHL criticized for hiring anti-Israel anthem singer, Kiana Lede, for All-Star Game in Toronto.
00:15:37.100 During her performance, R&B singer wore a cardigan with a pattern similar to a keffiyeh.
00:15:43.260 Is this, is it really pro-Palestinian?
00:15:46.200 Like, you're not allowed to wear black and white checkers now?
00:15:48.860 If you wear that, you're automatically pro-Palestinian?
00:15:52.680 Like, I'm not going to lie, it's kind of a sick cardigan.
00:15:56.320 I'm not going to lie.
00:15:58.080 The National Hockey League is facing public backlash after invited R&B singer Kiana Lede.
00:16:03.700 She wore a cardigan with a pattern similar to keffiyeh.
00:16:08.620 Sports are about inclusion and being the best version of herself.
00:16:11.700 Her record of divisive and harmful statements that encourage hate against Jews and those who support Israel.
00:16:16.800 It is funny to go to an NHL game.
00:16:21.880 It's such a nothing form of protest because the Jews are running the NHL.
00:16:28.820 The Jews hired you to come and sing and then you get to shit on the Jews and really all you get is publicity.
00:16:36.300 Like, anybody who hates Jews is reading this article going, good for her, right?
00:16:41.780 And saying, where is her, where is she?
00:16:44.360 Where is her music?
00:16:45.040 It's the same thing as me talking shit about Olivia Chow.
00:16:48.680 Except she's talking about, you know, she's like denying the Holocaust or something.
00:16:54.740 So, oh, Canada and the Holocaust wasn't real.
00:17:06.160 How do you even sneak that in?
00:17:14.040 Like, those are the two main hockey scandals right now.
00:17:16.800 Is it a woman who sang the national anthem at the All-Star Game was wearing a keffiyeh type hoodie, cardigan.
00:17:26.820 The more crazy one is the NHLers who did the rapes.
00:17:32.160 Patreon.com slash Ben Bankis.
00:17:34.260 Sign up right now and get a bonus podcast every week.
00:17:37.660 Patreon.com slash Ben Bankis.
00:17:39.940 My producer said that the NHLers must be pro-Palestine too, if they were the rapers.
00:17:48.400 Next court date for five ex-Canadian world junior hockey players in sex assault case set for April 30th.
00:17:55.900 These poor bastards.
00:17:57.800 What the fuck did they do?
00:17:59.140 A brief hearing for five former players in Canada's 2018 world junior hockey team.
00:18:04.380 None of the five players, they all play New Jersey Devils, Calgary Flames, Philadelphia Flyers now.
00:18:13.620 They all appeared on Videolink.
00:18:17.440 Lawyers for all five were told to expect substantial disclosure of case information, including audio and video evidence.
00:18:26.580 Jesus.
00:18:28.160 Boys.
00:18:28.600 Occurred following a Hockey Canada gala in London, Ontario.
00:18:34.680 Oh, buddy.
00:18:35.640 Well, nothing good ever happened to London, Ontario after 10 p.m.
00:18:39.340 That's what they say.
00:18:41.020 I wouldn't want to hold those girls in trouble.
00:18:43.280 I wouldn't be taking them back to the hotel.
00:18:46.500 The court hearing was held at London.
00:18:51.980 Oh, police prepared to hold a previously announced news conference.
00:18:54.560 Jesus.
00:19:01.680 Poor guys.
00:19:02.420 They just make it so public.
00:19:03.640 They're just like, yo, these guys did a bad thing.
00:19:07.520 Like, yeah.
00:19:09.100 And they're in the NHL.
00:19:12.840 Yeah.
00:19:13.340 I mean, that's been going on in hockey.
00:19:16.720 Like, hockey players invented the idea of a pig roast.
00:19:20.720 Right?
00:19:21.120 Because I think it was like, it was like a gangbang a bit.
00:19:24.520 It was like a gangbang that went wrong.
00:19:29.640 So.
00:19:31.840 That's, that's tough.
00:19:34.040 It's tough.
00:19:36.100 That's why you put your kids in violin.
00:19:38.660 Okay.
00:19:39.500 Get your kid a fucking violin.
00:19:41.240 And go, here's a fucking violin.
00:19:43.640 You're going to play a fucking Tchaikovsky.
00:19:45.240 I don't need you getting gangbanged at the fucking London gala for the fucking hockey playing gangbang shit.
00:19:54.720 It's bullshit.
00:19:57.300 Yeah.
00:19:57.860 This woman, she doesn't even look that attractive.
00:20:01.320 Like, for whatever.
00:20:03.300 She's apparently so famous.
00:20:05.320 Kiana led a net worth.
00:20:10.900 She's worth.
00:20:14.980 34k.
00:20:16.220 What the fuck?
00:20:18.320 Dude.
00:20:19.800 How are they saying shit?
00:20:21.100 Like, they're like international superstar.
00:20:23.380 Kiana led a wore a fucking Palestine flag.
00:20:29.000 Net worth and earnings.
00:20:30.240 20, 24.
00:20:31.140 Revenue was 39k in 2020.
00:20:35.140 Could vary between 34 and 46k.
00:20:38.260 Oh, there's Kiana led a there on the stage.
00:20:41.180 We got her.
00:20:42.060 Oh, she cost a, well, Justin Bieber wouldn't sing the anthem.
00:20:45.660 We had to pay him too much.
00:20:47.260 So we fucking put Kiana led a there.
00:20:49.020 She'd get a fucking hornet.
00:20:51.660 Falken Bieber wouldn't go old Canada.
00:20:53.680 So we got the fucking Palestinian for cheap.
00:20:56.380 We said, all right, we're only going to pay you five grand.
00:21:00.360 So you better not do a fucking Palestine fucking prudent.
00:21:06.560 Her net worth is.
00:21:10.700 Dude, the website that like you look up her net worth on is like not even a.
00:21:15.780 Okay.
00:21:16.240 It says her net worth is 1.5 million.
00:21:20.220 No.
00:21:21.720 Status alive.
00:21:22.940 Kiana led a is an American pop and R&B songwriter.
00:21:27.720 She's from Phoenix.
00:21:30.220 Phoenix, Arizona.
00:21:32.040 Currently signed to Republic Records.
00:21:33.840 You best know for her singles.
00:21:35.060 X.
00:21:36.760 Fair play.
00:21:38.600 Bouncing.
00:21:40.400 Can we listen to a minute of hers or will it cause it to be.
00:21:45.120 I don't think we can really.
00:21:48.420 No.
00:21:48.980 Well, let's see.
00:21:52.940 This, this, okay, this music video has, she has 1.4 million subscribers on Instagram or on YouTube, which is pretty good.
00:22:09.920 We can only play 13 seconds of this, so get ready, boys.
00:22:14.400 Well, she's a genius.
00:22:28.520 What is your song about?
00:22:30.400 It's just about la la la la la la la la la la la.
00:22:33.040 It's kind of funny because it's actually just the Palestine that's like that.
00:22:38.320 La la la la la la la la.
00:22:39.380 Right?
00:22:39.920 It's like the Muslim.
00:22:41.700 She just made the Muslim noise of la la la la la.
00:22:45.980 She made that into this.
00:22:52.100 It's like a slow-mo sexy version of like a terrorist act.
00:22:55.680 La la la la la la la.
00:22:56.800 La la la la la.
00:22:58.700 It's, it's terrible.
00:23:05.780 Top comment.
00:23:06.700 This is pure talent.
00:23:08.580 All right.
00:23:09.960 What do I know?
00:23:10.820 I'm not a fucking, you know, kid.
00:23:13.480 I'm not a fucking Hollywood producer.
00:23:19.080 Oh shit.
00:23:19.880 I don't know if it was share screening.
00:23:21.700 That part.
00:23:22.280 Maybe it cut off because it was, uh, it might cut.
00:23:27.500 I don't know if you guys could have heard that, but let's just play it one more time.
00:23:41.000 Oh, Kiana.
00:23:43.040 Kiana.
00:23:44.860 What's your name?
00:23:46.320 Kiana.
00:23:46.800 Oh, like Keanu Reeves.
00:23:51.360 No, it's Kiana.
00:23:53.880 It's not Kiana.
00:23:56.100 Kiana, Kiana.
00:23:58.600 This is a migrant facility in New York.
00:24:03.140 That chick's kind of hot, which is kind of nuts that she's just like getting, you know.
00:24:24.140 This guy's smiling, having a good time.
00:24:26.240 Dude, this looks exactly like the scene from fucking Scarface.
00:24:33.920 The prison scene.
00:24:41.880 Cops are arresting people.
00:24:43.420 Well, the one big mistake of the left is that they think that because they're so privileged that everybody should be privileged.
00:25:01.640 But instead of making everybody privileged, you're making everybody unprivileged.
00:25:05.880 That's like the other goal here, right?
00:25:09.140 It's so hard to get super wealthy when you look at how the tax system is set up.
00:25:14.720 In Canada, for instance, you know, as soon as you make, I think, over like 80 grand or 90 grand, they tax you like 50%.
00:25:22.840 So you work hard to make.
00:25:26.700 I think maybe it's more than that.
00:25:27.920 But, like, if you make 200 grand, you only made 100 grand, basically.
00:25:31.700 Like, you have to do, obviously, you have to work it within the taxes code and do all those.
00:25:37.640 Every dollar over 100 grand is 50%.
00:25:40.220 There you go.
00:25:41.260 So how do you get rich?
00:25:44.100 How do you get billionaire rich when you make a billion dollars, you have to give 500 million to the government?
00:25:48.760 I mean, you know, and then crazy.
00:25:55.240 And then people are like, oh, rich people have too much.
00:25:57.160 But they give a lot back.
00:25:58.520 They build stuff.
00:25:59.580 They build fucking hospitals.
00:26:01.700 And poor people don't build a hospital.
00:26:03.660 I mean, they put the fucking thing together after a Jew figured it out.
00:26:08.200 But they fucking, I'm just saying, rich people are important.
00:26:14.000 You can't, and we're putting too much pressure on them to be rich, like, stay rich and still pay all these taxes for all this other shit, in my opinion.
00:26:26.260 I mean, is that so awful to say that I think rich people, like, I want to be rich, so I don't want rich people to get fucked over, right?
00:26:36.320 This is a federally funded transgender activist, Faye Johnstone's, um, Johnstone.
00:26:44.000 Wasn't it fucking Ryan Long in a band called the Johnstones?
00:26:47.760 But this is Faye Johnstone of Hershey.
00:26:52.020 I like, I'm a spokeswoman for Hershey, and I am, it's just, uh, transgender.
00:27:01.100 Federally funded transgender activist, Faye Johnstone of Hershey.
00:27:03.700 The disastrous Women's Day campaign is in, this is, this is somebody from Rebel News' headline.
00:27:11.620 Uh, in Ottawa to whip up a crowd on behalf of a federal government pro-child mutilation agenda.
00:27:16.760 What's weird to me is that when they're like, trans rights or human rights, it's like, well, nobody's saying that you can't be trans.
00:27:35.620 Nobody's saying that it's, uh, you know, all the, all the, I was going to say bad to be trans.
00:27:42.360 I was like, well, maybe a couple of people saying that, but I mean, it's, it's surely, it's not a ticket to a ordinary life.
00:27:49.920 Okay, it's an alternative lifestyle, and I get that it's mainstream now, but it's still not mainstream.
00:27:57.480 Okay, like, if you go to a university, or you go to a regular bar, or you go to where all the regular kind of normal people are hanging out.
00:28:09.740 I'm sorry.
00:28:10.280 And, and that whole, what do you mean by normal?
00:28:12.280 I mean, not fucking trans or gay specifically, not fucking a bunch of fucking random, uh, you know, migrants hanging out like in a migrant camp, a bunch of white to semi-white to white acting people in a bar.
00:28:31.960 There are very few, if not no trans people.
00:28:35.060 And I'm not, because they don't want to be part of that world.
00:28:39.600 And to me, they don't like that world, so they think that that world should be dismantled and regulated to make sure that people aren't as hateful at all.
00:28:47.780 No, no, no, no.
00:28:49.400 You need to get with the program.
00:28:51.760 You chose to live a life like this, or, oh, I didn't choose this.
00:28:56.000 You didn't choose this?
00:28:56.720 You're wearing a fucking wig.
00:28:58.540 You didn't, is that, was that not a choice to put it on?
00:29:02.060 You could have been just gay.
00:29:03.340 I'm not saying gay's a choice, but I'm saying that whatever the fuck Faye Johnstone is for Hershey is a choice.
00:29:10.680 A bit.
00:29:11.740 At least a little bit.
00:29:13.320 Depending, once you're putting on makeup, it's a choice.
00:29:16.900 Okay?
00:29:18.840 Sucking it, you don't need to put makeup on to suck a dick, by the way.
00:29:21.820 If you're a dude and you're gay and you suck a dick.
00:29:24.180 But if you put makeup on, you're going, I'm going to choose to do something today.
00:29:28.600 If you made a choice to live an alternate lifestyle, don't be surprised that the general population doesn't want to adhere to your demands.
00:29:42.700 And the trans demands, for some reason, are in line with all these green demands, which I find weird.
00:29:48.560 More trans, less farmers.
00:29:50.680 Like, what kind of world are we living in where we think that that's sustainable in any measure, right?
00:30:01.140 We're going to get rid of farmers and make everybody trans, and that's how we're going to solve the climate crisis.
00:30:06.280 Like, it's not a sensical idea, and it shouldn't be happening in the way it's happening.
00:30:15.300 Should we tolerate trans people?
00:30:17.360 Of course, should we tolerate putting shit in the recycling instead of throwing it on the fucking ground, like in India or China?
00:30:27.580 Yes.
00:30:29.580 That's a word that I've forgotten that is very important.
00:30:33.320 Tolerance, right?
00:30:34.500 We used to learn about that in school.
00:30:36.200 Tolerance.
00:30:37.060 You need to be tolerant.
00:30:38.120 Now it's inclusivity, diversity, and inclusion.
00:30:40.740 Before, we were just being tolerant, and that's how we got here.
00:30:45.320 Tolerance was, okay, that guy's different than me.
00:30:48.960 That guy's fat.
00:30:49.920 That guy's trans.
00:30:52.240 That guy's retarded.
00:30:53.340 I'm tolerant.
00:30:54.160 I'm not going to go up to him and go, you're fucking fat, retarded, tranny.
00:30:57.740 Right?
00:30:58.780 That's what tolerance is.
00:31:00.120 Now it's inclusion.
00:31:01.120 Now it's going, hey, you fat, retarded, tranny.
00:31:02.980 Come over here.
00:31:04.000 But then they go, hey, you can't call me that.
00:31:06.440 And it's like, okay, come over here, Steve.
00:31:09.840 Or, you know, oh, that's your, that's sorry.
00:31:12.420 I didn't mean to dead name you, Steve.
00:31:13.820 Come over here, Cindy, or whatever.
00:31:16.220 It's, it's the same as the anti-woke, or not anti-woke, but anti-antifa, anti-racism, anti-all this bullshit.
00:31:30.120 Just be likable.
00:31:32.840 For fuck's sake.
00:31:33.880 Nobody wants to hang out with Faye Johnstone.
00:31:36.720 Okay?
00:31:37.660 The only people who want to hang out with Faye Johnstone are mentally challenged individual, or mentally on the spectrum, Tran, Q, Card, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:31:50.120 Those fucking people who, they're misfits.
00:31:54.140 Okay?
00:31:54.460 And I'm not saying I'm not a misfit, but these people are on another level of being a misfit.
00:32:00.900 I'm a misfit.
00:32:01.620 Like, I went into sales instead of becoming a lawyer.
00:32:05.240 Like, these people are misfits.
00:32:07.960 It's like, I fucking cut my dick off, and then I, now I'm mad that they don't want other people to cut their dick off, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:32:16.540 No.
00:32:17.020 That's my little rant on, on that.
00:32:20.860 And, yeah, if you don't know what, this is what Faye Johnstone looks like.
00:32:25.060 Looks like, uh, Jesse Eisenberg.
00:32:27.480 She looks like who?
00:32:28.700 Jesse Eisenberg?
00:32:29.960 The kid who played Mark Zuckerberg in the social network.
00:32:32.400 Oh, God.
00:32:34.320 Faye Johnstone.
00:32:36.040 Just like Johnstone.
00:32:37.300 Just like Johnstone.
00:32:38.160 Just like Johnstone.
00:32:39.020 She looks just, I mean, it's just, like, whatever, you know?
00:32:43.920 Good for you.
00:32:44.920 She's kind of hot.
00:32:45.700 I mean, I'd fuck her.
00:32:47.020 That's my new, that's a, that's a funny thing to always say with trans.
00:32:52.960 It's just every time you go, she's kind of hot.
00:32:54.360 I'd fuck her.
00:32:55.000 Because then, what are you mad at?
00:32:57.260 Isn't that what you want?
00:32:58.140 Someone to fuck you?
00:33:00.060 Right?
00:33:01.980 If, like, I'm just saying, like, yeah, she's got 20k followers on, on Twitter.
00:33:06.540 She's fucking rolling, dude.
00:33:09.260 Her picture looks, she looks a little, I feel like she's got to touch up the profile photo and get maybe a,
00:33:16.920 more of a beauty shot.
00:33:19.480 Less, I think, less protest, more just trying to look like a chick would be good.
00:33:25.620 Like, less out there with the megaphone and more just, like, show us your fake pussy.
00:33:33.660 I want to see it.
00:33:35.440 And nobody's going to be mad if you show it.
00:33:37.680 I'll be honest.
00:33:38.600 We might make fun of it.
00:33:39.700 We're not going to be mad.
00:33:41.500 Right?
00:33:42.400 We'd be mad if it's a dick.
00:33:44.480 Then we get mad.
00:33:45.560 That's when, that's when people get mad traditionally.
00:33:48.240 Um, it's weird that she didn't post until, she hasn't posted in a long time, since August 28th.
00:33:59.360 That's another thing that's kind of mean about Rebel News is this person's, like, not, they're not even a good influencer.
00:34:06.120 Like, they haven't posted on Twitter since August.
00:34:08.020 They're just, they're just, like, kind of giving up on being an influencer after the, my peak of my career was, I was a trans person on the Hershey ad in 2023, like, two, right?
00:34:21.520 And then they didn't keep up the momentum with their social media, and now they have, you know, only 20K, and people from Rebel are, like, the fucking Tranny is fucking out of the game.
00:34:33.900 And this poor fucking trans person is just, like, what do we want?
00:34:38.000 Trans.
00:34:38.600 What do we want?
00:34:39.480 Like, and I get they're, like, they're indoctrinating our kids, but, like, whose kids?
00:34:43.220 Really?
00:34:43.760 Whose kids?
00:34:44.300 Is it your kids?
00:34:45.800 Because all the people are, like, I wouldn't fucking like it if my kid was a trans person.
00:34:48.960 Very few of their kids are trans.
00:34:51.060 Like, very, most of their kids are the kids who are bullying the trans people, right?
00:34:55.480 So who are they really afraid of?
00:34:58.200 They're afraid that the trans kids who are already trans are going to be convincing other people to be trans.
00:35:04.320 I mean, I don't know.
00:35:06.120 It's all a little bit much in my M-I-M-O.
00:35:12.300 It's a little bit much.
00:35:14.160 Okay.
00:35:17.820 Anyway.
00:35:19.600 Talk about my birthday.
00:35:20.800 Talk about Waterloo.
00:35:24.520 So settle in if you guys are hanging out.
00:35:27.500 Waterloo show was cool.
00:35:29.280 It was three shows.
00:35:30.700 They were all sold out in a brewery.
00:35:34.000 It was, like, 85 people a show.
00:35:36.560 And we...
00:35:39.280 That's, like, a lot of tickets.
00:35:41.440 I mean, it's, like, almost 300 tickets.
00:35:43.080 We probably could have...
00:35:43.720 I mean, plus we snuck a couple people in.
00:35:45.920 So it was closer to 100 a show.
00:35:47.000 So the next time I come to Waterloo, I think it's time for another venue.
00:35:54.240 I mean, I booked that before I got my agent.
00:35:56.020 So I was just booking shit because I was trying to survive, baby.
00:36:00.340 Like, I got a kid.
00:36:02.300 I got to pay.
00:36:02.900 I got to pay for things in life.
00:36:07.780 I got to pay Mike, who's sitting here.
00:36:10.860 I got to pay for lawyers to go to the U.S.
00:36:16.360 I got to pay for all kinds of shit.
00:36:19.980 Luckily, less equipment.
00:36:21.180 I kind of...
00:36:22.080 I mean, it's probably cheaper to buy equipment and do it all yourself.
00:36:24.720 Like, it is.
00:36:25.180 Like, that's what I did before.
00:36:26.120 But you just get to a point where you're like, I'm not going to set this up every Monday.
00:36:29.340 Like, I need a motherfucker to come here.
00:36:30.800 I like the vibe.
00:36:32.100 You get into a vibe with a show.
00:36:35.060 But anyway, Windsor or Winnipeg...
00:36:37.560 Or what the fuck was it?
00:36:38.600 Waterloo.
00:36:39.100 Mix them all up.
00:36:39.820 Waterloo is a disaster.
00:36:44.980 It's really just a complete degenerate...
00:36:47.820 I feel bad because the people there are really fucking like, they're a small town, but it's
00:36:51.820 kind of a big city now.
00:36:53.000 And there's tons of immigrants and shit.
00:36:55.580 And they're like, oh, fuck, buddy.
00:36:57.940 Oh, it's not the same as it used to be.
00:37:00.140 Now you go to the fucking Walmart.
00:37:02.060 They got a dirt floor.
00:37:03.360 Or whatever.
00:37:04.880 But, yeah, it's...
00:37:07.820 At one time, they were supposed to be like the new Silicon Valley, weren't they?
00:37:11.280 Waterloo being the new Silicon Valley.
00:37:12.880 Yeah, they were kind of doing that for a bit.
00:37:15.780 I think they still do that with Kitchener.
00:37:18.240 And they have Waterloo University.
00:37:20.080 There's some cool university stuff.
00:37:21.980 And these people took us to a bar.
00:37:23.840 Anyway, I'll tell you the story.
00:37:24.880 So, after the last show, which was my birthday.
00:37:28.420 And I feel like sometimes I'm just kind of a downer on my birthday and shit.
00:37:31.300 But, honestly, maybe that was more of the situation that I was dealing with.
00:37:34.360 But, patreon.com, so it's my birthday.
00:37:40.240 No, but this guy and his wife, whose wife interrupted the show, by the way.
00:37:47.060 Women always love interrupting comedy shows.
00:37:49.720 They go to a show going, there's a certain woman that goes to a show and goes,
00:37:54.120 I'm going to interrupt tonight.
00:37:56.120 Right?
00:37:56.640 And that was his wife.
00:37:58.100 And I didn't realize that until he fucking got us in the car.
00:38:01.060 But, him and his wife, after the show, were like, come, please, come, please, come to this bar.
00:38:08.060 I'm going to show you the best bar in town.
00:38:09.300 I'm like, I really don't want to.
00:38:11.240 There's a St. Louis in this strip mall.
00:38:13.540 I really just want to go to St. Louis, eat wings, and call it a night.
00:38:17.340 And they're like, no, it's your fucking birthday, buddy.
00:38:19.440 What are you, fucking grandma?
00:38:20.700 So, I was like, fuck, okay.
00:38:22.360 And I was with the opener, Nathan Texera, who came as an opener.
00:38:26.580 And we went with them in their car.
00:38:30.920 Actually, Nathan drove himself, so I was just alone in their car with them.
00:38:34.280 And, like, I think the woman was, I don't even know if she was drunk driving or what the fuck was going on.
00:38:38.000 It's me, Ben, and I am going on the road in the United States of America very soon.
00:38:43.660 We already have multiple dates set for May in the U.S.
00:38:47.980 And I can't tell you where I'm coming yet because we're waiting on my visa.
00:38:53.020 So, you need to go to my website and sign up for my email list so you can be first to get tickets because they are going to go fast.
00:39:03.060 BenBankus.com slash join the list.
00:39:05.960 You can join the email list right now for free.
00:39:08.560 And I barely email you, so when you get that email, you're going to know that means we're about to announce the U.S. dates.
00:39:15.940 But, anyway, we made it to this bar, and then it was just kind of a disaster because the guy goes, okay, I can get us in.
00:39:21.300 And then he knocks on the door, and nobody's coming.
00:39:24.700 And then an Indian guy, like, came out, like, kind of mad and was like, what the?
00:39:27.940 Oh, I know you're okay.
00:39:29.640 And, like, let him in.
00:39:31.020 And then as soon as we came in, like, some white security guard, like, the main security guard was like, no, you cannot do this.
00:39:37.820 And I was like, oh, shit, that's kind of embarrassing for my guy because the whole time he was hyping up, like, I'm going to take care of you, buddy.
00:39:43.600 We're going to be taking us to my buddy's bar.
00:39:46.280 Anyway, then it was like, we couldn't order food.
00:39:48.620 We couldn't get a table.
00:39:49.940 He kept trying to.
00:39:50.800 There was, like, multiple bars in the same bar, and it was like, you're not allowed to bring booze into the one side and the other.
00:39:56.700 And he was doing it, and they were like, you can't do this.
00:39:59.160 He's like, I'm doing it.
00:40:00.500 It was very bizarre, and that was kind of my birthday.
00:40:06.640 And then I was in bed by midnight.
00:40:09.280 Well, that was the night before my birthday.
00:40:11.160 Anyway, but Waterloo, I'm glad that I did three smaller shows instead of one bigger show.
00:40:17.840 It's really good.
00:40:19.040 It helps me workshop material because right now the Toronto comedy scene is terrible.
00:40:24.120 Okay, I'm going to straight up call out the Toronto comedy scene.
00:40:27.940 The comedians here are lazy.
00:40:30.720 They don't run shows.
00:40:32.320 The only shows that they run at certain places, comedy bar, backroom comedy club, and that's it.
00:40:42.200 Those are the last two places.
00:40:44.200 There's two comedy bar locations.
00:40:46.280 And comedy bar, they don't like me there.
00:40:49.560 I mean, I wanted to drop in on a show pretty recently.
00:40:53.720 I came to comedy bar, and they just have amateurs running these shows, right?
00:40:58.280 It's basically the way comedy bar works.
00:41:00.000 It's not like a regular comedy club.
00:41:01.440 It's like a comedy venue, and you can rent the room and do a show there, which is really crazy to me.
00:41:11.260 Like, you can rent the room, I think, for like a couple hundred bucks and then sell tickets through their website just for laughs and stuff has done it, which is kind of crazy that they're just like, let's hype up this location.
00:41:22.200 And then once we leave, it's just all amateurs running weird shows.
00:41:25.260 So the only comics that run shows are at these bars that don't want me at them.
00:41:31.780 The comics themselves are afraid of me.
00:41:33.980 They think that I'm the devil.
00:41:35.240 They think that I'm evil, right?
00:41:38.460 Because I'm doing well.
00:41:40.660 There was a Chinese comic, actually, who came up to me and said, you're the proof that the bad guy finished first.
00:41:47.560 But, which is actually pretty funny.
00:41:50.560 But most of these people at these bars, like when I go to comedy bar, all the comics are like, yo, Ben, oh, shit.
00:41:55.840 Oh, I'm sure you could hop on this guy's show.
00:41:58.100 I'm sure you could hop on that guy's show or that tranny show.
00:42:01.940 And that's the reason I'm not allowed.
00:42:05.720 But anyway, so and then I'll ask somebody.
00:42:08.400 So there was a show going on when I was there.
00:42:12.380 And the producer wasn't there.
00:42:14.560 Her name is Puff Mama.
00:42:16.020 A lot of comics in the comedy world know who she is.
00:42:19.160 Rogan knows who she is.
00:42:20.920 Tony Hinchcliffe, like a lot of those guys, because she used to run the underground comedy club in Toronto before COVID.
00:42:28.480 It got, you know, she couldn't keep it going, but it was very cool underground location.
00:42:33.180 You could smoke inside.
00:42:34.200 You could drink inside.
00:42:35.640 And she had sometimes she'd have big names.
00:42:38.040 She'd have like Rogan stop in after he did a theater show because he started doing shows there before he was in theaters and stuff.
00:42:45.320 So she runs a show and I've known her for over 10 years.
00:42:51.200 She wasn't there, but if she found out I was on, she'd be like, oh, oh, cool, cool, bad.
00:42:55.480 Maybe she's woke now and she'd be mad.
00:42:57.180 I don't know.
00:42:57.540 But another guy from the back who wasn't running the show, who just works at Comedy Bar, comes out to tell me that I am not really welcome on that show.
00:43:09.520 Like at first he just goes, oh, Puff Mama's not here.
00:43:11.620 The producer's not here.
00:43:12.640 So I can't put you on the show because she's not here to say yes, which is bullshit because the people hosting the show were like, just do five minutes.
00:43:20.660 Like, just do it.
00:43:21.700 Right.
00:43:22.420 And at that point, I didn't even realize there was only 12 people in the audience.
00:43:25.780 If it's like 150, I was like, when I found out that that was the point where he's like, I'm like, how many people are even in there?
00:43:31.860 He's like 12.
00:43:33.080 I'm like, OK, let's just leave.
00:43:34.260 This is just absolute dog shit.
00:43:36.940 So, yeah.
00:43:37.740 And the guy's like, oh, you can't do it because the producer's not here.
00:43:40.440 And they go, well, who cares?
00:43:41.760 I've known Puff Mama for 10 years.
00:43:43.140 He goes, well, also, you're offensive and your material's offensive.
00:43:47.180 These are people running a comedy club.
00:43:49.400 I mean, are you out of your mind?
00:43:52.720 I have.
00:43:53.280 And at the time I was, that was a couple of weeks ago.
00:43:55.220 So I was at 120,000 followers on Instagram.
00:44:00.280 Nope.
00:44:00.760 Can't do the main comedy, the comedy bar.
00:44:04.440 Can't do the other comedy bar.
00:44:06.880 Back room.
00:44:07.600 So, and these are the only places that comics will run shows.
00:44:10.700 When I started comedy, Toronto had a great comedy scene.
00:44:14.140 There was tons of different shows, tons of open mics, tons of comics creating a little thing.
00:44:23.140 There was St. Louis, for instance.
00:44:24.900 St. Louis Wings would always do shows in the East End and in Barrie and here and there.
00:44:29.820 And some comic would run it and all these different wing spots.
00:44:33.420 People were hustling.
00:44:36.120 They were trying to make shows out of nothing.
00:44:38.060 They were like, this is a fucking restaurant.
00:44:39.740 Let's do a show.
00:44:40.500 I'll bring a speaker and we'll put, nobody does it anymore.
00:44:44.160 Okay.
00:44:45.640 They all want to do their little thing at comedy bar.
00:44:48.800 Because they're afraid.
00:44:49.460 Comedy bar actually is propaganda too.
00:44:51.380 Because they fear these comics into working with them.
00:44:54.020 Because they go, well, you know, if you go to some random bar, it's going to be pretty hard to sell tickets.
00:44:58.720 You know, at least a comedy bar, like we sell the tickets on our website.
00:45:02.600 So, you know, if people, and people don't know how it works.
00:45:04.820 So they just go to comedy bar's website and, you know, try to buy a ticket for something and buy a ticket for some shit.
00:45:11.000 They don't even know how bad it is.
00:45:13.980 Um, so that's sad.
00:45:17.580 There was something else I was going to say about that, but, um,
00:45:20.400 There is Second City too in Toronto, which they did a whole bajillion dollar renovation.
00:45:30.680 They, they moved, they used to be in the same building that Gretzky's, Wayne Gretzky used to have a bar.
00:45:36.440 And they tore down that whole building and built condos.
00:45:39.400 And so they moved to another new condo that has commercial space on the first floor.
00:45:47.000 Second City did.
00:45:48.000 And they built like a insane, insane comedy performance thing.
00:45:55.800 State of the art, all brand new.
00:45:59.160 Brand new.
00:45:59.620 Two rooms.
00:46:00.720 I think they have two or three comedy rooms.
00:46:02.980 Like, it's like, it's like the comedy mothership kind of a bit.
00:46:07.140 Not like, it's not as cool or anything, but here, I'll show you this here.
00:46:12.940 One second.
00:46:13.420 Let me just put this guy.
00:46:15.800 But you know what the crazy part about that?
00:46:17.540 Why I'm showing you this?
00:46:18.660 Cause nobody fucking performs there.
00:46:22.480 Nobody, nobody knows about it.
00:46:24.680 Nobody performs there of any, nobody with a name, nobody with any value.
00:46:30.020 They just use it for, you know, the kids to do their little show.
00:46:34.700 You know, you do a course, you can do a course at Second City, right?
00:46:38.860 Yeah.
00:46:39.480 Second City, Toronto.
00:46:44.220 So.
00:46:47.100 They have like such a rich alumni.
00:46:50.000 So the new location, here it is.
00:46:53.600 So let's, this is, this is it.
00:46:55.700 Look, it's like, it's, I mean, the crowd can already see it.
00:46:58.880 The audience can see it, but like, it's like on Bremner or something.
00:47:03.520 It's in the base of.
00:47:08.620 See if you can.
00:47:10.040 110 Harbor Street.
00:47:11.220 It's right downtown Toronto.
00:47:14.000 New home at one York.
00:47:15.600 So this is Second City's main website.
00:47:18.080 And by the way, Second City, there's a guy, I don't even want to say, there's a guy who lives in my neighborhood.
00:47:23.860 And I see him walk his dog, him and his wife, and they both work for Second City and Comedy Bar.
00:47:29.600 Cause Comedy Bar is a part of Second City.
00:47:32.160 And this is what these Comedy Bar and the Second City woke people are going to learn real quick.
00:47:40.880 They are losing money.
00:47:42.540 Comedy Bar is losing money.
00:47:44.700 Second City is losing money.
00:47:46.660 And the reason is people keep going to your place.
00:47:49.340 They go, what, okay, this is a cool vibe.
00:47:51.520 I mean, there's a lot of trans flags, but you know, okay.
00:47:54.340 Then they go and watch the show.
00:47:56.420 Nobody has talent.
00:47:57.720 Nobody's funny.
00:47:58.900 Nobody's famous.
00:48:00.240 Nobody has a following.
00:48:01.800 And he, this guy did JFL three years ago.
00:48:04.840 And there used to be on tall boys there before they cancel it because nobody wants it.
00:48:08.460 And then it sucks.
00:48:12.020 And now, you know what?
00:48:13.920 Shane Gillis going on SNL.
00:48:16.000 That should be a kick in the ass to, in Toronto here, Comedy Bar and Second City for basically being exclusionary of offensive or any comedian that doesn't abide by the DEI woke bullshit.
00:48:37.220 And basically forcing me to have fewer places to work on my comedy.
00:48:42.920 The whole reason this rant happened was because I was talking about how I like, I'd rather do a small room three times right now in Toronto or in Canada to get stage time to work on material than do one big show.
00:48:56.560 Because I'm still working.
00:48:58.660 Now I'm building for the US and stuff and I can't do spots because places like Second City and Comedy Bar don't let me do spots.
00:49:05.980 Meanwhile, my friend Chris Robinson, now I know that he worked at CBC and writes for CBC and all that, but he has some offensive jokes.
00:49:14.540 But the point is, he told me the other night, he goes, I'm on three shows tonight.
00:49:20.400 Three shows.
00:49:21.300 I can't even remember the last time I did three shows in Toronto, which is sad because when I started comedy, we would do five shows in a night sometimes.
00:49:31.420 It was, I was averaging 13 shows a week.
00:49:34.760 So it drives me fucking nuts.
00:49:38.460 Second City, Toronto's new home, One York.
00:49:41.940 By the way, their website doesn't look that good.
00:49:44.200 I'm just going to say the Second City doesn't look that good because woke people are making it and it looks bad.
00:49:54.180 There's no pictures of anything.
00:49:58.940 Okay, so let's just see.
00:50:01.640 SecondCity.com.
00:50:03.580 SecondCity.com.
00:50:04.880 I'm choosing Toronto.
00:50:08.100 Live every night.
00:50:10.360 This is, okay, this is, it opens to a page.
00:50:12.280 Live every night.
00:50:13.320 Laughter and learning at One York.
00:50:16.800 Explore shows, classes, and more below.
00:50:20.020 So February, okay, February 5th.
00:50:22.700 What do you want?
00:50:24.300 One ticket.
00:50:25.360 Find a show.
00:50:26.140 Like, this is so, such a bad system.
00:50:28.760 It doesn't even show what, it's just like, pick a day.
00:50:31.440 There's a show.
00:50:31.940 Oh, zero results found for today for a show.
00:50:35.360 Okay, let's pick tomorrow.
00:50:36.960 Oh, tomorrow.
00:50:42.780 Let the, chaos menu disorder up.
00:50:47.880 Are you understanding this?
00:50:49.620 Premium, $29 to $49 to see this unbelievable.
00:50:56.940 What is this?
00:50:59.400 Chaos menu disorder up.
00:51:01.560 Like, does anybody know what this is?
00:51:05.480 The new SecondCity review chaos menu order up makes light of life's everyday absurdities.
00:51:15.800 Oh, and then you have to pay $199 to fucking read the article.
00:51:19.100 That's how shit it is.
00:51:20.860 That's how fucking shit.
00:51:24.500 I don't know if it's shit.
00:51:25.900 But it looks like shit.
00:51:26.860 I'm saying it looks like shit.
00:51:28.260 I don't know if it is shit, but when I look at it, I go, this is shit.
00:51:33.280 Okay.
00:51:34.040 What about Free State of Jokes?
00:51:36.800 A Black History of Unstate of Time.
00:51:38.080 Black History?
00:51:38.900 Wait, I've got to see this.
00:51:43.880 So this is Tuesday.
00:51:44.900 What day is it?
00:51:46.180 Wednesday?
00:51:47.540 That's on February 2th, Sunday time, June.
00:51:51.340 One night only.
00:51:54.960 I see chaos menu.
00:51:56.180 Oh, Free State of Jokes.
00:51:59.440 The second city, Sunday, February.
00:52:01.360 So this guy, Quincy Martin, is doing a show.
00:52:05.400 I actually know this guy.
00:52:06.480 Good for him for putting something on here.
00:52:08.880 He's the first comic.
00:52:10.360 Like, I actually know who this guy is.
00:52:12.860 He's a Toronto comic.
00:52:13.980 That's kind of actually a cool, cool poster with the free, like the JC thing.
00:52:20.960 So maybe I would go see that.
00:52:22.040 Maybe I should.
00:52:23.060 Maybe that's, he's hustling.
00:52:24.900 But he probably emailed them and was like, I'm black.
00:52:28.680 Let me do it.
00:52:29.860 Right?
00:52:30.280 Like, if I email them and go, it's me, Ben Bankist.
00:52:33.240 They're like, no.
00:52:35.000 What?
00:52:35.880 You crazy?
00:52:37.760 But they have these multiple theater rooms.
00:52:40.020 Like, I feel like, I honestly want to say to Second City, what they, what would be smart is if Second City went, how about you do a weekly show here?
00:52:48.400 Weekly.
00:52:48.920 And we do it in the smallest room you have.
00:52:51.580 And we'll sell out a small amount of tickets.
00:52:53.580 And it'll be fun.
00:52:54.800 And we'll do something fun.
00:52:56.240 And we'll do new material.
00:52:58.020 Every comic has to do new material.
00:52:59.700 That was what I was doing before I was running a show at the Royal Comedy Theater, before they shut it down in Toronto.
00:53:05.380 And every week was sold out for, like, eight weeks or something crazy.
00:53:10.540 It was insane.
00:53:12.360 So, I just wish they had a, they don't even have a gallery to show you what the stage looks like.
00:53:23.320 But, anyway, there's, there's something wrong when you have a state-of-the-art comedy club and there's not shows every single night in the biggest city in the country.
00:53:36.020 And it's state-of-the-art.
00:53:37.540 You have all, you have the brand new taps, all the good beer, multiple rooms.
00:53:43.680 There should be comics running shit all the time.
00:53:46.860 I mean, let's go comics in Toronto.
00:53:50.460 Start making phone calls.
00:53:51.820 Pick up the phone and make some cold calls and get some shit going.
00:53:57.060 Get some shows going.
00:53:58.080 You know what?
00:53:58.540 I'll tell you all the places I did shows from the beginning.
00:54:01.820 I started a show two weeks into comedy, by the way, at a place called Revolutions Nightclub in Kingston, Ontario.
00:54:09.860 Okay?
00:54:10.260 I started a show at a place called Dovercourt Gastropub or something that doesn't exist anymore.
00:54:18.480 Fox and the Fiddle I had a show at.
00:54:20.420 Uh, uh, Young and Wellesley, the gayer.
00:54:23.640 I had, I had a show at, uh, was it Village Vapor Lounge?
00:54:28.380 Uh, Vape on, maybe not Vape on the Lake, but Vape Central.
00:54:32.480 Um, there was another bar that I had a show at, like, at Avenue in Eglinton, and I just did a one-off show.
00:54:40.540 There, like, every year there's at least four or five bars that I found shows to do.
00:54:45.360 When I had no audience, when I had no following, when I had nothing, I was still fucking doing that.
00:54:50.660 So people should be doing that because I'm willing to pop into this shit in Toronto.
00:54:55.040 Like, I want, if somebody reached out to me on a Monday, on a Tuesday, on a Wednesday, even on Thursday, Friday, if you said, oh, Bankus, I got a show.
00:55:04.080 Would you mind popping in?
00:55:05.020 Could we post that you're going to be there?
00:55:06.860 And I'll tag, yes, yes, sell a couple tickets for the, for the home crowd, for Toronto, and, and, and let me try some new material, and it's, it's a win-win, so I don't know.
00:55:19.540 The comedy scene here is fucked.
00:55:21.580 I'm excited to leave, go to the States, go to Austin, wherever, wherever I have to go.
00:55:27.380 When I, when I was in, like, well, I shouldn't talk about that, but I was on vacation, but, um, the States has a nicer, I think, than Canada.
00:55:36.860 Canada, because Canada, there's just nothing to really work, like, there's not, there's no, I'm above the ceiling right now in Canada, which is why Americans are following me, and why Americans are interested in my shit, because the ceiling is fucking low.
00:55:49.740 The ceiling is getting on the state broadcaster, and, and doing shitty jokes about, um, you know, Pierre Polyev, and talking about how bad conservatives are.
00:56:01.080 It's just sad, um, so, I'm happy to be where I am, and I feel very grateful, and I'm very grateful for the people that made my birthday party special, that made, um, the people at the brewery in Waterloo, in Asante, they made that pretty special, kind of.
00:56:22.280 Um, even though they told me to stay at the Kitchener Inn and Suites, which was a huge mistake, which was 20 minutes away from the venue, but they gave me a, I got a discount, but it wasn't really a good discount, so it was kind of a fucking complete waste of time and energy.
00:56:36.300 But, guys, right now, I don't have that many shows on the books, because we are going to the United States soon.
00:56:42.680 But, for my Canadian shows coming up, February 21st, unfortunately, we're sold out for all the Toronto shows.
00:56:49.420 February 22nd, and Burlington sold out too, so we added another show in Burlington, February 25th, on a Sunday.
00:56:55.400 Go get tickets for that.
00:56:56.960 And then, March 27th, I am going to be in Edmonton, Alberta.
00:57:02.160 We're going to be doing it big.
00:57:03.800 Go get tickets, um, and stay tuned, because I'm going to be bored, so we're going to probably, hopefully, start, we're going to, hopefully, at Second City.
00:57:10.800 Second City, don't fuck around, all right?
00:57:16.120 Weekly show at Second City would be awesome.
00:57:17.800 Anyway, continue listening to the show.
00:57:19.220 Love you guys.
00:57:19.820 Share it with your friends.
00:57:20.520 You're the best.
00:57:22.880 Thank you to the good people of the Kitchener Inn and Suites for taking care of me.
00:57:26.400 Actually, a pretty decent breakfast, aside from any of the food that they actually made, but just, they had cornflakes.
00:57:32.160 Which, for me, if I'm at a hotel, and I'm up at 6 a.m., which a lot of the time I am, because I get up early when I'm not in my bed.
00:57:40.080 I'm in a random bed.
00:57:42.180 And, I just wanted something.
00:57:46.140 I think the second night, I had so many wings in Waterloo, at St. Louis, and they're fucking hot.
00:57:53.760 If you've been to St. Louis, you get hot, breaded, insane.
00:57:57.720 Not saying anything, and any of this is fitness advice, by the way, legally.
00:58:02.000 But, I had these hot wings, and then the next day, I just had a heartburn.
00:58:05.560 So, I went down to the breakfast, and I was like, thank God, they have fucking milk.
00:58:09.780 And I was just eating cereal with milk.
00:58:11.700 I think cereal with milk, by the way, I feel like people were way thinner before we started shitting on cereal,
00:58:17.440 and everybody's got to have 10 fucking pieces of sausages and a steak and shit for breakfast.
00:58:23.500 Whatever happened, when I was a kid, okay, you had a fucking bowl of cereal, you had a fucking orange juice,
00:58:31.880 you played a game on the back of the cereal books, you tried to do the...
00:58:36.460 And it was good, and we didn't have these breakfasts that people want now, with toast and egg and a fucking sauce.
00:58:48.420 It's like, at that point, you might as well just call off the rest of the day.
00:58:53.800 Like, you're having a breakfast before 11 a.m., and it's, like, got all this...
00:58:59.260 It's too much.
00:59:01.000 And even for kids, I don't even...
00:59:02.760 I guess kids are supposed to eat a shit ton.
00:59:04.640 I don't fucking know.
00:59:05.400 I'm not a nutritionist, and I don't really get to have a say in any of that.
00:59:10.320 But, you know, this is what I'm trying to do, because I need to lose weight, by the way,
00:59:16.800 because I'm going to the U.S.
00:59:22.060 I mean, I'm already thin-furred American, but I hate that joke.
00:59:24.760 It's such a hacky joke.
00:59:26.640 Every stand-up fat comic goes...
00:59:29.680 A Canadian stand-up comic goes,
00:59:31.660 Well, I'm a XXL, but in Texas, I'm a large...
00:59:35.060 It's just, like, enough.
00:59:36.600 Enough of that joke.
00:59:37.420 I don't want to hear it.
00:59:38.120 So, no, I want to get in shape, because I was looking at pictures of myself from university
00:59:45.860 when I was 18, and I was just so sexy.
00:59:51.100 I mean, I was honestly so good-looking that I looked gay.
00:59:53.660 But what's really weird is that I was so thin then, but I thought I was fat.
00:59:59.980 You know what I mean?
01:00:00.500 Like, I remember looking in the mirror going, I'm fucking disgusting.
01:00:04.380 I mean, not as much as now, let's be honest, okay?
01:00:06.340 Like, there was a bit like, okay, I'm looking pretty good.
01:00:09.100 But I still was constantly like, fuck, I ate too much, and it's just...
01:00:14.080 You just have to really care.
01:00:18.560 I'm going to do these spin.
01:00:19.960 I'm going back hard to the spin, spin classes.
01:00:23.740 But I really got to get my own shoes for those spin classes,
01:00:26.160 because it's starting to freak me out.
01:00:27.640 Because they just share shoes all day,
01:00:30.880 and the only way they clean them is like spraying.
01:00:34.120 It's like a bowling alley, yeah, but you're sweating like a thousand times more than a bowling alley.
01:00:38.620 So, it's a little disturbing to not have your own shoes at Spin.
01:00:44.720 Shout out Spin Co. in Toronto.
01:00:46.520 I think that's actually Ontario-wide.
01:00:51.540 Spin and other ship.
01:00:53.180 That's what...
01:00:54.080 That's the Toronto lifestyle.
01:00:55.600 If you don't like it, fucking move along.
01:00:57.540 What, you went to fucking, you know, spin and...
01:00:59.780 Other ship is the spa, the sauna, the ice bath sauna place.
01:01:07.020 It's like, it's just like Joe Rogan's wet dream.
01:01:13.220 It's just a super hot, huge sauna with, like, mass...
01:01:19.520 Like, it's literally, like, that long, the thing with the rocks in it.
01:01:22.740 It's, like, that long and, like, that wide.
01:01:25.180 And it's just right in the middle of the room, and they just come in, and they...
01:01:27.960 It's so amazing.
01:01:29.040 They just come in, and they hold this, like, little ball of ice.
01:01:31.960 But it's, like, flavor.
01:01:33.500 It's not flavor.
01:01:34.020 It's, like, scented ice.
01:01:35.640 And then they come in, and they go, this is an Australian, like, turmeric, whatever, cinnamon.
01:01:44.960 And then they throw it on the rocks, and then they pour shit on it.
01:01:48.480 And you're just like, ah, and it's just so good.
01:01:51.180 So I'm going to do that tomorrow to kind of relax.
01:01:54.380 Because mental health is important, and it's so easy to forget that.
01:02:00.280 It's so easy to forget, like, tonight.
01:02:02.660 It's, like, if I'm not in a good mood, it's, like, oh, should I just be, like, no podcast?
01:02:05.700 Let's just no...
01:02:06.180 No, you got to fucking hustle.
01:02:08.020 You got to push yourself to the edge of your abilities, which is what I do every day and every show.
01:02:13.560 And I'm trying to do that every podcast for you guys, because I think, and I know, I don't think, I motherfucking know that this is going to be the best podcast in the world in my lifetime.
01:02:28.280 If not, by the end of this fucking year.
01:02:38.740 That's it.
01:02:39.360 That's all.
01:02:40.100 Enjoy the rest of your week.
01:02:41.080 Go listen to all the other podcasts that you listen to.
01:02:44.040 Cocksackers.
01:02:45.980 Rather, you just listen to this.
01:02:49.200 But send it to a couple friends.
01:02:50.640 If you got this far in the podcast, send this motherfucker to some friends and be like, I actually like this pod.
01:02:55.500 It's sick.
01:02:56.560 I talk about current events.
01:02:57.980 I talk about current events in my head that are happening.
01:03:01.140 I talk about comedy.
01:03:03.260 And it doesn't get much better than that, folks.
01:03:05.380 I appreciate you.
01:03:07.960 Thank you so much.
01:03:09.420 Oh, before I go, oh, yeah, the new fans versus the old fans.
01:03:12.320 Last week, I posted a clip where I was like, thank you to all the new fans, but show some respect to the OG fans.
01:03:18.840 And then I, like, some of the new fans were like, fuck the OG fans.
01:03:22.160 And I was like, yeah, you're right, honestly.
01:03:23.620 Fuck them, too.
01:03:24.640 Fuck them.
01:03:25.520 So, my bad.
01:03:27.880 Fuck the OG fans.
01:03:29.860 Let's go, new fans.
01:03:31.880 Yeah, too many of my OG fans are just like, fucking, I don't know.
01:03:35.480 Your stand-up's pretty good, but I'd rather watch the human monkey hybrid.
01:03:38.780 I don't know.
01:03:39.660 Your stand-up's pretty good, but can you do Teresa Tam again?
01:03:42.440 I know that was from three years ago.
01:03:44.280 I'm your OG fan.
01:03:45.520 I was there day one when you did Don Cherry.
01:03:47.400 Look, I get it.
01:03:49.860 Thank you.
01:03:50.700 But let's let the new fans shine for a bit.
01:03:54.100 And we have a lot more fans to meet and gain.
01:03:56.920 So, share it up.
01:03:59.520 You're the best.
01:04:00.300 Good night.