Ben Bankas is on Fire ｜ The Bankas Show - #023
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
158.45598
Summary
Ben Bangko, the future mayor of Toronto, talks about the forest fires and why we should all wear masks to protect ourselves from the smoke from the fires. Also, Ben talks about pride flags and why they are the only way to slow down the spread of the fire.
Transcript
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Hello, it is me, the human animal hubby from Wuhan, China, named Ben Bangko.
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I am the author eager of the future man of Toronto, Ben Bangko.
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And I support a Ben Bangko from me, at Toronto.
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I don't know the Wi-Fi, rather the internet, the Wi-Fi, rather fire in the wilderness.
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The Wi-Fi is very bad, and we're sending the smoke from the Canada down to the United States of America.
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Just to make sure that they will enforce the crime and rock down, just like a Justin Trudeau.
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That's right, the Prime Minister, the President Trudeau.
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He's the one who want to do the crime and rock, and want to do a mask for a smoke.
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Sometime you have to, soon you're gonna have to wear a mask for the smoke.
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You go outside, there's a smoke in the air, you have to put the energy fur, over your face.
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Believe me, I wish I was wearing a mask, I wish I wore a mask right now.
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Hello, thank you so much for listening to my portion of the
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You need to subscribe, you need to watch a show every day.
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you're right otherwise you'll raise it the most racist thing you can do is breathe in the air from
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a forest fire never breathe in air from a forest fire if you breathe in air from a forest fire
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you're not going to not be able to breathe just like a joel freud you know what joel freud joel
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freud you know a joel freud joel freud it's not a joe coy that's a stand-up comedian a joel freud
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george freud he couldn't breathe either i feel like i can't breathe right now i can barely breathe
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i need to transition everybody give me a moment watch the magic i'm going to transition hello
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everybody the future mayor of toronto ben bankus the most progressive candidate that exists on the
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planet earth welcome to the bankers show this is a podcast for those of you that
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are big bad bankers fans you listen to the bankers show you learn a lot about me you learn a lot about
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what is going on in our city in our economy what's going on with the human monkeys there's a lot of
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human monkeys out there actually i didn't know this but people are sending me a lot of videos saying
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that they are my long lost brothers and sisters and i bereaved them hello bam banka i just want to
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let you know that you are not the only human monkey hybrid from china i also was creating arab and ruhan
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and maybe you are my wrong lost brother you never knew bam banka
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okay okay i bereaved them because uh i'm from a wuhan town what's going on today is the wildfires
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have spread throughout uh from canada from the canadian woke forests where for some reason we were not
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hanging pride flags from those trees which burned down which i believe that had something to do with
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uh the uh the science behind the forest fires i believe that there would have been no forest fires
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had we had some pride paraphernalia hanging from those trees i believe that would have helped uh
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immensely i would have i think it would have slowed the spread as we talked about uh in covid we need to
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now talk about it with forest fires slowing the spread social distance because of the smoke and we need to
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to stay six feet apart to manage our uh oxygen levels because we don't want anybody stealing your oxygen
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right now this is a time lapse of new york city
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the smoke in new york city obviously much worse than it was in toronto reason being because i'm
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running for mayor and i'm wearing the suit which is repelling the smoke away from the city this is the
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only way forward folks the only way to fight forest fires is to completely cover your body with pride
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symbols paraphernalia whatever it is that's the only way to stop the spread of this uh this vicious
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forest fire my idea is that we should be sending all of our garbage from the landfills towards the fire
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burning the garbage kill two birds one stone net zero carbon i think that that is uh the way
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to go now another thing happened today a comedian named andrew schultz who a lot of my fans are
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familiar with who's an american comedian he's coming to toronto to the scotiabank theater however i am
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uh running for mayor of toronto so it is in my power once elected which will be before his appearance
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at scotiabank arena i will formally ban andrew schultz from the city of toronto and have his event
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canceled period no ifs ands or buts one of the reasons for this as you may watch this video right now
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you will see that he has taken one of my tactics of taking politicians and doing their voices for
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promotional and or publicity reasons now i know maybe i'm not the first i thought i've been doing
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this for three years in canada so andrew schultz you're welcome if you somehow saw me do this and did
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it yourself i will forgive you and grant you access to the great city of toronto under one condition
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that you let me ben bankus open for you at scotiabank arena no ifs ands or buts otherwise
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i'm going to have to win this election one way or another whether it's me winning or whether it's
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olivia chow winning and we will bar you from performing at the scotiabank arena for being a
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homophobic misogynist person that makes people laugh
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because comedy is outdated folks we need to get rid of comedy in the city of toronto we have too
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many comedy clubs comedy bar yuck yucks absolute comedy the backroom comedy club the royal comedy club
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the corner comedy club it's too much comedy we need to laugh less we need to get rid of these comedy
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clubs and we need to fill them with drag story time hour for children nighttime shows drag time
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story time hour um make that hour 8 p.m okay i think we need to be i i think all comedy clubs should
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be replaced with drag uh bars and burlesque bars for men to dress up like women and show their body parts
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to anybody of all ages and uh that's just how i feel and i'm running for mayor so i'm gonna make it
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happen and nobody can tell me i can't another thing we're going to be doing um is uh well first let's
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actually watch let's watch the video that andrew schultz made that i am claiming that he stole this
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idea from me hello my fellow canadians it is your prime minister justin trudeau here and i am formally
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announcing that i will be boycotting andrew schultz's comedy show at the scotiabank arena on september 30th
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now obviously i'm jealous and i uh wish andrew schultz the best and i will be at that arena
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one day myself whether he lets me open for him or not that is my testament to my fans and my friends
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and my uh mother with dementia and my father and my child and my fiancee and myself that i will be on
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that stage with or without you andrew so it is your choice make the choice wisely because otherwise
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we will be barring you from the city of toronto and it's that easy we've already done it with uh
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jordan peterson we've already done it with uh dr gad sad who's a regular guest on the joe rogan
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experience we've already done it from a fellow comedian that also lives in new york city that's from
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toronto ryan long who we've banned from the city of toronto so it is not out of the question to ban
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you andrew schultz from the city of toronto for stealing the simple idea of making the prime minister
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no it's a great video that he made it's a great idea i wish i had i probably should have done more
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now i'm gonna have to steal his idea now i'm gonna have to do this for my show by the way my show um
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we had a big kerfuffle this week so the the place that i'm playing the royal theater on college street
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is a place that andrew schultz was playing probably not even that long ago maybe five years ago okay so
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we're on track here folks i don't know if you know this how hard i'm killing it but it's quite hard
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okay um this is the thing my show was originally supposed to be june 17th at the royal theater i've
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been selling tickets for three months we were 90 sold out and then boom
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boom the venue let me know that a racist anti-gay anti-lesbian anti-trans
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a horribly homophobic festival is coming to college street june 17th and for the days surrounding that
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and the entire street will be blocked off and there will be thousands tens of thousands of angry
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homophobic italians some of which may be murdered in mob hits on the street while eating gelato
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and this is going to cause chaos or would have caused chaos for my fans friends staff everybody in the
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comics who needed to get to the venue people would be showing up an hour late for the show uh some of
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them you know the ones who weren't able to plan a lot of people would have been pissed off
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and the venue came to me and said hey we'll broker a deal and we'll get you to move to the following
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friday which to me is not that bad which to some of my fans who just have all these plans i don't know
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i guess i have a lot of fans with a lot of plans so what people do summer comes in canada people have
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plans right away they want to make sure that they have something fun to do every weekend
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because they can't just relax listen folks it's forest fire season you should be indoors
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anyway there's no reason for you to be going to any cottages and starting any fires
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you should be staying in the city of toronto to watch ben bankus
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live june 23rd at the royal theater formerly june 17th now for all those who are heartbroken and made
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plans i had some people driving from out of town getting hotels to be able to come to see my show
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on june 17th and they are not able to make the 23rd so what i've done is create a free show
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for people who could not make june 17th sorry the june 23rd show when it was switched from the june
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17th we are now doing a different show june 17th for free 8 pm at a different location okay and we're
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doing this for the fans we're doing this for the people affected by the date change you want to
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still come see me we're doing this because we need to do something that night and we need to garner
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support for bankers for mayor this is a semi-campaign event and party and comedy variety show we may not
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even put chairs inside we may do a standing only comedy show and pack as many people as we can into
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the small room and do a absolutely crazy dance party not so some kind of nuts event so this is what is
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happening so if you're not coming to that that is an absolute shame
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elliott page reveals chilling transphobic attack outside la hotel i'm going to
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fucking gay bash you you uh let's read a little more about that that has sparked my interest
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i don't know about you folks elliott page reveals it's so hard to even read it like these websites
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these newspapers like the terms of service and this and that la page reveals chilling transphobic
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attack outside la hotel i'm going to fucking kill you i'm going to gay bash you um i need a gun in
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los angeles she says they said he said page 36 was standing on a corner in west hollywood on his way to
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pink dot convenience store when the enraged and hateful stranger approached him shouting obscenities
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according to los angeles times we already know what they said the man yelled forcing the actor to bolt
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towards the store in fear that's not very manly of you man ellen i thought you were a man you're not
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going to stand up to that guy you're not going to call him a back that's what a man does they don't run to
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the pink dot employees at the pink dot escorted terrified page into the shop but the man allegedly
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followed him and stood in the doorway this is why i need a gun the maniac reportedly yelled at page
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through the glass door page whose dead name was ellen page ooh how could they dead oh you're allowed to
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dead name if you dead name if you say i'm dead naked revealed he was transgender in 2020 now he says he no
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longer feels safe in los angeles oh my god now when i'm in los angeles i don't feel comfortable like
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i used to going for walks a canadian born oh of course elliot page is canadian of course all of our
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fucking celebrities have to be embarrassments schultz let me a fucking open otherwise i'm cutting my tits
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off and moving to la uh i don't have well i do have tits to cut off i guess the ordeal may have shaken
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the actor but he acknowledged that he has the privilege to stay in safer hotels and higher
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security if needed unlike most people living in la doesn't mean it's not traumatic but i have
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resources that in every instance that is difficult protect and can shield me from these things yeah
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it's called being rich the juno stars recounting of the alleged verbal assault and threats come in
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the wake of another story recently shared of his upcoming memoir page boy about when a famous
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a asshole told him being gay doesn't exist page who came out as gay in february 2014 claims that an
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unnamed a-list actor told him he was going to fuck you to make you realize you weren't gay
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at a birthday party in los angeles shortly after coming out um
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guy sounds kind of hilarious but obviously that he he's playing with fire saying that to a a lesbian
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slash trans he purposely did not name the accused high profile celebrity but said they would hear
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about this and know it's him the actor added another celebrity whom he describes as only an
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acquaintance insisted you aren't gay that doesn't exist you're just afraid of men
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kind of hilarious hearing that because they're right no i'm just kidding they're not right gay people
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exist but elliot page is a rich woman female actress i i think that there's something very
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bizarre going on with this whole story i'm not one to judge yes trans people exist in the world but i
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mean it's being it's being fueled by this you know it's it's it's the idea that oh you're depressed so
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here's the solution cut your you know genitals off i think that that's a bit much personally just
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personally could they have gone to therapy for a little bit and you know maybe they should have
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fucked that a-list actor i'm sorry am i allowed to say that as mayor of toronto days later the
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acquaintance ran into page at the gym expressing he didn't have a problem with gay people i think
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you might page claims to have replied so she would page was more uh aggressive as a woman to speak
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back to people talking shit to her the memoir also shares details about a secret relationship with a
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closeted female co-star called ryan and a romance with kate morrow while dating max minghella
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this was right after i'd come out as gay and it was a time of exploration and also heartbreak the
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oscar-nominated actor wrote uh actors suck actors suck ass okay there are almost no comedians that have
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transitioned uh and after success okay there's a lot of comedians actually that transition to become
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successful there was one uh in toronto that i don't even here i'll do what elliot page did oh i
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just kicked the fucking camera fuck me fuck me i need to fucking hire eight indians to fucking run this
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show i'll do what elliot page did and not name who this person is but there is a comic in canada who
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i started comedy around the time that they started comedy uh they were also uh had a similar uh ethnic
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background as as my dad and uh yeah they were a dude it was a dude it was a fucking dude man it was a
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pretty jack dude and but just not good at comedy a very pretty bad comic through and through you know
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one of those guys that gets up there tries too hard and everybody's just like oh this is terrible
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this is terrible and they're just trying so hard to convince you that no no no this is this is good
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this is good like you know one of those delusional comics that comes off stage after they bomb and make
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it everything weird and they go i murdered it's like no you didn't you fucking bomb um so he was that
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and then i guess i i think that they had i thought they had quit comedy to some extent but then they
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transitioned first it started with cross-dressing then it was i'm fully a woman and then it's you
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know the pills and the thing and it's like okay and then they got on cbc and it's like is that worth it
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i mean i'm wearing a pride suit right now hopefully this is enough to get me on cbc without any surgeries
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i'm trying to get on cbc with no surgeries i guess this is what you have to do though now
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if you want to make two thousand dollars once at a shitty festival then you can uh you know in canada
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you can cut your whatever i don't even know if it's cut off that it's very sad i think it's sad
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and if that's homophobic or transphobic then i don't know what to say is that not sad you knew
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somebody as a one gender and then they switch to the other and they're just you know completely
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are wrapped up in a political ideology right hard left you know it's it's
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people want to act like this isn't happening i want to act like this isn't happening i'll be
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honest but nobody wants to listen to that nobody wants to listen to you know that like the people
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who have no followers that comment on shit on instagram and and on the other social medias
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and you know they say things like you go the rights the only people talking about gays like
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the left aren't even talking about dude that's insane if you have kids you know that there's gay
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and and then to say oh oh so you have an issue with that oh you have an issue with that do you
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have an issue with that maybe i fucking do i don't have an issue with gay people existing i
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don't have a gay issue with gay people having rights but i have an issue with every single
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fucking place i look including every children's place that we go to every early on uh you know uh
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in toronto where they teach kids from like four or five whatever it is six months to four years
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they have trans flags everywhere why does a fucking three-year-old need to see a trans flag
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they can try it and how do you argue that that's not political propaganda and agenda i'm so i'm
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i'm wearing a pride suit right now telling you the truth this is why i've been acting like this and i
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have people yelling at me on twitter and facebook and instagram going this guy's a you know he's a
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groomer he went to a jays game and i'm proving a point by going to the jays game i'm proving a point
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by going to the jays game and so saying let's go trans kids and people cheer and there's white
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people looking at me confused knowing oh my god yeah i guess i have to cheer like it's why didn't
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a single person stand up and say no there was somebody who actually said i appreciate your right
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to say that but i if you could sit down i'm trying to watch the game that's about it so nobody gives a
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shit everybody's okay with all this shit happening everywhere i go in this suit old fat white women
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go i like that suit i really like that suit i had a lot of gay friends yeah you had a lot of gay
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friends and now you're an old white woman with no husband sad and alone so was it worth it to have a
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sorry but my mom did that and she had a gay friend and he was awesome he's very cool he died died from
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uh after he got a brain aneurysm after his uh astrazeneca's he was obsessed he was obsessed with
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astrazeneca he was obsessed with the mass obsessed obsessed had this brain aneurysm obviously we were
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told it was completely unrelated who the fuck knows my mother's dementia how many fucking vaccines did
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she get every time she went to the doctor they give her another fucking vaccine for whatever the
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fuck i actually remember randomly like three four years ago before the pandemic i went to the doctor
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and he's like oh you're late on your tetanus and just gave it to him what the fuck tetanus where
00:24:18.080
the fuck is tetanus what am i what am i getting what what the fuck is that so people want to pretend
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like everything that's stressing half the population at least out about the weird medical agenda that
00:24:35.760
happened over the last three years the weird gay agenda that happened over the last three years the
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weird race agenda that's been happening over the last three years dividing people separating people
00:24:44.640
getting them against each other all this shit makes it harder for the democracy to be a democracy and
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makes it easier for a dictatorship and authoritarian authoritarianism to flourish guys that's what they're
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doing they're splitting everybody up they're making everybody mad at each other they're bringing in
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tons and tons of people who don't speak english into the country so those people can't really
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interact in the same way democratically to be able to like hey you want to overthrow the government
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i i posted something about that and somebody was like not really true you can just like do google
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translate yeah i'm gonna google translate to a a giant group of angry uh indians that once the
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fucking apocalypse happens what are you out of your goddamn mind
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so it is happening there's lots of crazy shit happening and what's fucked up is like this this page
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this elliott page why can't elliott page just be trans and leave everybody alone why do they have to be
00:25:42.080
an icon for trans it's an attention grab i'm sorry but it's a fucking just like my fucking i'm i'll be
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honest with you this suit yeah it's an attention grab this ties an attention grab everything all the videos
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i've been doing are attention grabs i'm doing it on purpose to create a following so i can have a
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career in comedy and i don't end up doing fucking red deer alberta once a year for for 400 bucks
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like every other canadian comic who has no career and doesn't give a shit about having no career
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i give a shit so i get your attention i get your bench no yeah yeah yeah but i'm not cutting off my
00:26:18.480
genitalia and i'm not pushing any ideologies on you if you don't like me you can hang up the phone
00:26:24.080
you don't you know and i'm not pushing ideologies on on fucking kids although some of my fans are
00:26:29.920
like my kids love your chinese accent so maybe i am i don't know what to tell you but elliott page is
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obsessed with this shit like and on all these same with the fucking trans comic from canada that i was
00:26:45.920
talking about it's the same thing it's it's just like it's it's like the it's like the rip cord
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becoming trans is like the ultimate it's like the emergency parachute cord for having a career
00:26:57.680
in show business now it's like nothing else worked i'll cut off my dick um this is now going on so
00:27:07.520
mostly immigrant parents this is happening in md i don't even know what province or state that is
00:27:13.760
face off against mostly white american-born woke women um of privilege who use lady gaga to silence
00:27:22.480
people of color so okay what was happening um the muslims outnumber the woke activists about
00:27:30.400
five to one let's just watch this video guys so we got all these muslims and then these fat white sickle mom
00:29:27.540
There's literal gay men who don't have children and old women and like the people who are
00:29:43.200
supporting these people are no longer just supporting gay rights.
00:29:46.480
They're supporting teaching children like it's just mind-blowing that this is even happening
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and I don't even like talking about it because it's just so fucked up to even take a second
00:29:56.980
to actually think and, you know, when we were in grade school, we didn't start talking
00:30:08.900
We did like a, you could put a question into the box and the teacher would answer it and
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most of the questions were like, can you do it like it was like, you know, what's blowjob?
00:30:22.580
And, you know, kids were 11 there, you know, 12.
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And even that is like, okay, but like, yeah, maybe you whatever.
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My platform is being hilarious and not putting up with woke white people who are just trying
00:30:54.240
to ruin society and I have no idea how badly they're doing it and a lot of them are fucking
00:30:59.360
boomers and a lot of them are, it's boomers and the really young women in their 20s that
00:31:06.000
are ruining society and then the women in their 50s and up who are just pushing this agenda.
00:31:10.940
Everybody, all the women in the middle, I think, who have young kids are like, kind
00:31:24.240
I just don't understand what it's like, the freedom to teach other kids who are Muslim
00:31:33.700
Why can't it simply be that the Muslim kids get to learn what they want to learn?
00:31:40.600
And like, if you want to teach your kid about gay rights, can you not do that at home?
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
00:31:54.240
a couple more news items and we got to get out of here because the camera is going to
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Support me on Patreon, patreon.com slash Ben Bankus.
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If you sign up now, we're almost at 125 patrons.
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And once we hit 125, I'm giving a pair of AirPods away to a lucky patron.
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Toronto is getting a restaurant where all the food is made by chefs living with HIV.
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Toronto is getting a restaurant where all the chefs.
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On June 4th, Casey House, especially hospital and senator will be hosting HIV eatery and evening
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I will wear this suit and go eat some HIV food for the cause.
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OK, now, before we get out of here, the last big story that's going on, also a Muslim story
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having to do with so there was a teacher in Canada who essentially told her Muslim students
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that if they were not willing to go to the pride events that they would.
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So essentially, this woman, she's a high school teacher in Canada.
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She told her Muslim students that didn't want to go to the LGBTQ pride events that basically
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they should go back to their country, which part of me thinks is kind of hilarious.
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And, you know, and then the other part of me is like, well, what what are these people
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There's no liberals have no real interest in other cultures like Trudeau doesn't have an
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interest in other cultures, just wants to dress up like them.
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It's like, yeah, well, you can be Muslim, but you have to be my type of Muslim where you
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So anyway, let's take a listen before we get out of here at this woman ranting and raving
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at her Muslim students at a Canadian high school in Edmonton, Alberta.
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Well, I'll tell you to lunch, if you think it's accessible to not show up because you think
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if there's some pride activities going on at school, right?
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You know, because I'm going to show my opinion by hanging out at the mall.
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But meanwhile, all of those kids who are, you know, involved in, say, the Gay Street Alliance
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or whatever, I don't even know if we have that anymore in our school.
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They're here when we did Ramadan for lying time.
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It's like you're comparing being gay to an entire ancient religion.
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Like, I mean, I don't know how to like if I was Muslim, I would just like I wouldn't
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I think it's funny that she's that dumb that she's doing it and she might get fired for
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But like, is is there no like, is she that fucking unaware that she's telling people to go back
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to the country and saying that, you know, oh, the gay kids came to Ramadan.
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And if you ask the Muslim kids, do you want the gay kids at Ramadan, what would they what
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Oh, yes, we need to have the Gay Straight Alliance at the fucking Ramadan.
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If you want to be respected for who you are, if you don't want to suffer prejudice for your
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religion, your color of skin, your whatever, then you better give it back to people who
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If you want people to not be racist towards you for the color of your skin and your religious
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beliefs, you need to get on your knees and pray to the transgender gods that we created
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three years ago because we're woke white women who didn't achieve anything in our lives and
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we got fat and we became school teachers so we could preach to kids of color what is and
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As I told you, in Uganda, literally, if they think you're gay, they will execute you.
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If you believe that kind of thing, then you don't belong here because that is not what
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We believe that people can marry whomever they want.
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This is probably the same woman was she's talking about freedom.
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Now guarantee the same woman was like lock it down masks.
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She's a mentally ill older woman, middle aged woman, and she has nothing.
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And these kids, they didn't say that they want to have gay people executed.
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They literally just were like, I don't want to go to these stupid pride events because
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And I would feel the exact same way if I was in high school and I would have done the
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I would have skipped class and went and smoked weed.
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Or we would have interrupted the entire assembly like my friends and I used to do.
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When we would have assemblies, they'd bring in some documentary filmmaker who'd, you
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And my friend would be like, welcome to Portugal.
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I think it's a little extreme to be saying, oh, you want to execute gays because you want
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to go to the mall instead of the weird pride event like, no, they're just these kids are
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Do you think I'd be wearing this if the left was?
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You know, wasn't talking about this shit all the time where it's something else.
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But I have to wear this to raise awareness about how I have to wear this to raise awareness
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about how many people are upset and the Muslims and the Jews and the bring it to the YMCA.
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And if you don't think that should be the law, you can't be Canadian.
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Pretty nuts that, like I said, this is the state of our country.
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If you want people to not be racist to you, you have to bow down to the gays, which the
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gays, this woman's obviously not, probably not gay, but there's just this crazy thing
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Women are the real authoritarians now in our country, by the way.
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It's just bored women and they go online and they watch Facebook videos of other bored
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women complaining about their relationships and this and that.
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And then they, then they get old and then they have nothing to fucking complain about.
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So then they go, the gays, why are you so mean to the gays?
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Like, how about you start sucking dick again, go find yourself a boyfriend and live happily
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after after instead of being a miserable cunt and yelling at poor Muslim 16 year old boys
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who really probably just don't give a shit about all this stuff.
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And to be honest, there's tons of people who don't give a shit about this stuff.
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And, you know, the white people out there, like I just had some woman on my TikTok, like,
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Dude, I'm not living in your reality where I'm not allowed to say what the fuck comes into
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my head, like the idea, oh, everybody, you can't say racist things, but what if I think
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them, what if there's racist shit, I'm not allowed to talk then and racism is illegal
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I think when we all make fun of each other and we all joke with each other, it makes
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And anybody who disagrees with that is dumb, like this teacher.
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Support me on Patreon, patreon.com slash Ben Bankis.
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Six bucks a month Canadian with inflation rates.
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June 17th free show is pretty much full already, but you can line up.
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Let's just be able to talk about whatever the fuck we want to talk about, however we want
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to talk about it, and stop with the, you know, the woke terms and the normalize and the
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don't normalize hate and hate and everything's this and, oh, marginalize and just shut up.
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Just shut the fuck up and have a laugh or else go fuck yourself.
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If you can't laugh at this shit, your life sucks.
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And that's because that's your own fault, okay?
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