Gambling Addiction ｜ The Bankas Show - #021
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 5 minutes
Words per Minute
198.80725
Hate Speech Sentences
103
Summary
This week on the Bank of Show, we fired Armin, fired Bobby, and hired Daniel. We also talk about the Maple Leafs losing to the Florida Panthers in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, and a lot of other stuff.
Transcript
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welcome to the bank of show everybody sorry for the podcast being late i have a family
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and i paid attention to them and uh now the podcast is late we have fired armin our bobby
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um and we have hired daniel boardman a jew we're we're switching back to jews from arabs
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um we tried the diversity thing it didn't work out
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bombing for eight people who are sad that the leafs lost yeah i'm happy the leafs lost but i'm
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unhappy that i bet against them in a parlay and then the parlay was supposed to be uh florida
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panthers miami heat and golden state and miami lost and it destroyed me it destroyed me it destroyed
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my night and um yeah that's neither here nor there because you are now listening to the best podcast
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in canada there are no podcasts in canada there's no canadian podcast that anybody listens to people
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listen to jeremy mckenzie's podcast i have people being like jeremy mckenzie's pretty cool i'm like
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the guy who was like in prison for like two weeks yeah just like what was he in prison for he was in
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prison for saying something mean about no allegedly he um beat up his ex-girlfriend and then when someone
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tried to stop him he pulled a gun on them oh why is that not talked about i thought he just got
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arrested for saying something mean about paul aver's wife no he got arrested oh so he's yeah
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that's pretty funny that every single fan of mine that has been like you should watch jeremy mckenzie's
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woman is like a this is like a random woman being like jeremy mckenzie's really funny like do you know
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he beat the shit of his wife like yeah well still hilarious
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that was pretty funny you know when he did that it's like the bill cosby thing like how
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many bad things you need to do by being how funny jeremy mckenzie is the bill cosby of canadian convoy
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yeah he might have might have beat somebody up but he sure could honk a horn yeah he sure could go
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downtown everything's just so disturbing now like i really just i've gone on social media less like the
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last three days and i feel a lot better because when i was trapped in winnipeg which by the way
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everybody i was just in winnipeg we did uh eight shows they were underpriced i had no idea that they
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were selling tickets for 15 and 18 to the shows in winnipeg which was very upsetting did you sell them
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for more on your website uh no we i did i didn't do a door deal with yucks for these shows so it was
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basically just like i got paid 200 bucks a show it was terrible oh that sucks it was
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that's why people need to support me on patreon guys patreon.com slash ben bankus uh this week's
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patreon episode is with um armandar bobby was supposed to be the episode for this week but uh we fired him
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so it's not the episode anymore no it was supposed to be the episode this week and we forgot to press
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record on the recording device but we recorded the video and the audio through the camera so
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but it's a fucking hilarious episode so you can go check that out on patreon and um
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support me that way because folks i'm still doing shows i'm still doing underpriced shows i'll do a
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show for uh like so you know some of the higher price shows you make good money do the math on
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you know 35 tickets and then 70 of the door on 125 tickets doing four shows like so there was some
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good money to be made but then it's like now this weekend i'm doing a golf course for 400 bucks which
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is fine but i have to drive to kingston to chatham yeah i'm doing so this week i'm doing kingston
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which is my own show which i'm selling tickets for which is pretty decent and then going to um
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going to uh chatham i don't know if you guys heard that my kid my kid just made a noise i guess my
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fiance left the fucking baby monitor on but uh yeah so anyway i was in fucking winnipeg for 12 days
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we got there on april 18th that sucks that like your cross canada trip was like we're going across
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canada but then like it was really half of winnipeg half of your canada trip was just winnipeg half of
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april i was just in winnipeg being like why the fuck am i in winnipeg
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like it was just absolutely terrible i think we just woke up my kid this was like the number one
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reason we're like it's so hard because my fiance works in the mornings like she has to get up
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at eight in the morning and do a she has to read a script okay i have to turn this off like why the
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is this on and just ignore that kid podcast is more important turning the baby monitor off she'll be fine
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yeah so support ben on patreon or else i'll have to gamble on sports making crazy
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to make ends meet dude because this is what happened basically i became a degenerate gambler
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while on tour because what happened was the beginning of the tour started in victoria it was
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all innocent you know yeah we're just hanging out ordering burger king watching people die of fentanyl
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yeah well watching yeah on twitter no watching watching black people punch people in the face
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on twitter uh just innocent night and then the second location was surrey and surrey was at the casino
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so that's where it started i didn't even gamble there because it was such a bad casino but i was just
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like fuck i went to the tables there was a bunch of scary seat guys at the table i was like i'm too afraid
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to gamble with these dudes no like not because i'm racist but they looked like criminals and
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i just know that surrey is like has this whole criminal underworld that's like seek criminal
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underworld i'm like i don't want to be involved in this so i didn't gamble there but i was just i
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wanted to then the second show was in vancouver at a racetrack i was like just around so much gambling
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then finally and then uh calgary was at elbow river casino and i was like it so that's then we then
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we started playing well everything is run by gambling now everything if you watch every
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commercials half the commercials on tv are gambling and like 75 of your like podcasts are sponsored by
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that 365 dude charles barclay is doing ads for gambling and he he had a gambling addiction yeah
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he had a huge gambling addiction is he lost millions of dollars yeah
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i see why gambling should be illegal like in a lot of ways because it's like the idea that you can just
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walk into a casino and put a million dollars on the table and be like red yeah it's just like how
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is that well it's also like the thing where like people say oh we need equality so everyone's equal
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well some people are just going to gamble right if you have no matter how much money you give people
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some people are just going to take it all and put it on black and then lose that if you realize
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well maybe if i put a parlay on the panthers and the suns luckily like most of the vets that i do
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are like 20 bucks and then i'll like win three i'll be up like 800 bucks then last night we literally
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we're supposed to do the podcast and just sat here we're like it was armin's fault this is why
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armin's fired because he showed me bet 365 live roulette tables and live blackjack tables with
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live dealers we started streaming we air we airplayed it to my tv and we just gambled for
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like three and a half hours lost like 250 dollars that's fucking insane but i just won
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800 off sports well i'll say this is just madness what i'm going through is
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the fact that there's a casino in my pocket is madness it should not be legal at all i see why
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it's not illegal in most places i was because when i was in fucking winnipeg i couldn't or any other
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province you can't gamble on your phone at a province yes so i was forced to go to a casino
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i went to every casino in winnipeg we were there for 12 days they have three casinos shark club mcphillips
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and uh regent and we went to every single one i won at every single casino and in and i won 100 bucks
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at shark club i won 900 at mcphillips and 1300 at fucking did you lose is that total winnings or is
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that like one big win that makes them like that was like three three wins and then the last night we
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went again to region and i lost 500 okay yeah so so take five so my my yeah so you can't just say
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like oh i won 1400 plus 900 minus 500 yeah is what i won which is not bad still paying for the dog sitter
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yeah you gotta get rid of these dogs which uh yeah that's another topic that we should we should touch
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on so i have two dogs i talk about in my act having two chinese dogs two shih tzus
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and um of course i have a child and uh i have a child and my fiancee has a dog a schnoodle
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we have three fucking dogs and a kid and it's just i hate it and the dogs are cute there it is
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he's lying there you should solicit your fans who wants a dog who wants a bank you'll sign a dog if
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you want a dog i'll spray i'll spray paint a dog get it promotion you need to get it i'll send you
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guys a dead dog i'll kill one of these dogs and send you the head to the highest bidder um
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no we and there'll be a raffle i have somebody some old lady's gonna take my dogs forever away from me
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why'd you get rid of your dogs fucking them fucking miami heat
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blame fucking kimmy butler's out i still gonna bet them yeah that was bad i mean i don't know
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enough about sports other than like so i'm pretty sure these guys are gonna win
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and a lot of the time you win like that yeah but like not only you're so into sports game like you
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don't know enough about sports to know that like three of their top four players were injured before
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you cast the bet so it's not even like you're like the sports gambler who's like on this
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side's trying to find the best value it's like i got this i've got this it's a steal
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you're just like uh this one this one this one i like the logos
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look it was a hundred bucks on miami for one game and then it was a forty dollars on a
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three-team parlay and i was very close i was very close to winning another thousand dollars but that's
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that's the thing with the parlay is you always get very 500 from off of 175 in the in in the
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it's all it's all an illusion it should be illegal is what i'm saying yeah and i should not be allowed
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to do this i should not be allowed to look at my phone and play roulette yeah it's fucking
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ridiculous stay away from roulette if you're gonna i mean you lost you didn't lose playing
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black but i lost i won all my money in winnipeg off went of roulette yeah roulette's like a crazy
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money wheel and also the way you bet roulette online is retarded can we talk like
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like so people know he like or one 17 14 23 21 27 you put like money on like the one third bet
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yeah the other third bets and then you like pick all the ones in the middle so even if you win one
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like the amount of money you're betting like you're losing like you're well i have like my two that if
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i hit then i really win and then i have all the rest it's like i break even yeah but you but the odds
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of breaking even are low the way you're betting so you're this is making me want to fucking put money
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on roulette so badly and it's making me like go crazy it's like the odds you're you're betting in
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the the worst the odds like the more i want to gamble i don't know and i am watching you it's like it's
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like this is the most inefficient betting i've ever seen you're just driving because i need to teach
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you how to play blackjack well i'm lucky that i had the foresight to set up my uh uh my play set
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your limits play within it kids yeah set a limit on bet three six five do not play with no i don't think
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it lets you play with no limit you have to set up a limit okay that's that's good i mean that's a
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good law i mean canada okay this is like the name i don't even think that's a law like oh maybe it is
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maybe maybe that's their afraid of getting regulated like the gamblers like these these companies are
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making so much money that they got to set like yeah we're at least not ruining people's but everything
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else is just so bad that it makes sense that they just want everybody to start gambling and not care
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about anything because if you just focus on like what are you addicted to a lot of people are just
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addicted to reading the news and getting outraged and mad or you could be addicted to spending 140
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and maybe you win maybe you don't what's better for your mental health i don't know it's funny you're
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talking you're talking like guys i stayed off social media i'm feeling a lot better but i just lost all
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this money i'm depressed because i'm not going on social media anymore i'm just going on bet365
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that you still have eight hours a day on the guys i gotta get my hours down on the floor don't
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don't get into this don't you'll ruin your mental health if you're like the true the liberals of the
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conservatives no the way i'm trying to solve the heat you know exactly why are you doing liberal
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conservative when you could bet panthers against leafs and win yeah or not even win or not win because
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you did a parlay because you're a fucking idiot what i should have done is i should when i parlay
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i should bet each one individually too what i should do is spend more money yeah that yeah just
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double down i mean it's all money that i won already so it's not like i'm like depositing money
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i mean whatever money you put into bet365 knowing you that money has just been thrown away
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yeah i mean it's all just like it's kind of funny because when you win a sports betting you're like
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i'm a professional like i do this for a living when you lose you're like it's just for fun it's just
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fun it's just fun to lose 300 bucks on a tuesday night for a fucking reason here against the hometown
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leaves watching like the worst stream of like fucking just just just laggy guys doing layups you're
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like was that in i don't even know the bet365 app's like 15 minutes ahead of the
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fucking stream it's like the game's over and they lost i'm like bro it's still 68 you're like
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watching the phone and the game it's like so you're not even enjoying it that's all it's the
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worst experience yeah i really can't sports game i can't watch this a bet i think that playoffs are
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really bad for sports gamblers they just want to bet so bad yeah i mean that's people addicted to
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gambling like gambling a lot i mean if you want to you can keep gambling on whatever you want like
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like sports one but still be baseball you can you can bet on soccer i hate soccer i like basketball
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and hockey yeah but like european soccer is easier to fix there's always like gambling scams where the
00:15:08.640
refs are in on like the mafia like fixes like this tier two italian league you don't think that's
00:15:13.040
happening in at the florida panthers level but i mean there was a there was already a scandal about
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this in the nba years ago like one of the refs like got kicked out because like he was involved in
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like organized crime that's the other scary thing about like gambling but that's why they made
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gambling legal because everybody was getting like shot because they had a gambling addiction it opened
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up but it's also now it's like there's billions of dollars flowing between each game like is that
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good for the economy it's probably not good for society because most people are losing right and then
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these companies are just becoming bigger and bigger and sponsoring more and more things it's good for
00:15:50.720
like it's good for online content creators because we could be like yo this podcast is sponsored by
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insert gambling app here and because it's like and then there's a link piece of it's also fun to
00:16:00.400
talk about like people genuinely like talking about gambling for some reason they're just as soon as they
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hear i was gambling last night people are like oh really i really haven't what did you who'd you bet
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on what'd you bet oh you're playing blackjack oh i love like there's just something social about
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throwing away money it's a very human experience yeah everyone loves it right it's but when you're
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a comic on the road and you're in these like small towns in canada and there's literally nothing else
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to do except go to the casino and most of these towns like winnipeg like regent casino in winnipeg is
00:16:35.440
one of the nicest buildings in the whole town and it's not it's not even that nice but compared to
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everywhere else it's like you can go there you can have a drink you can eat i mean they have mcdonald's
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oh a mcdonald's a casino with a mcdonald's but now i like the toronto's creating this new mega vegas
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casino that is one day i'm gonna headline for 300 bucks and no um that i want to headline but
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toronto should have a casino we should have the best casino you have you're right if you have a casino in
00:17:05.840
your pocket might as well have a physical casino there where like people can i get why toronto hasn't
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had a casino in so long and it's kind of like a claim to fame in a way because it's like you know
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like we're not enough of a shithole to have a casino but i think we're enough of a shithole now
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yeah that we deserve a casino we deserve shuttle service from goat like union station to to and
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from the casino yeah like old folks i'm like you know they'll take like day trips of like old people
00:17:31.280
take them to like niagara falls to go to the casino but the leafs lost because they probably partied way
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too hard right after they won like they acted like they won the stanley cup the whole city was going
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insane people were like getting arrested on the streets for banging against it's like dude it was
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just the first round don't they have to do two more rounds just to get to oh two more to get to
00:17:51.840
the stanley cup yeah four that's insane series they won one of four series dude
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part of me loves the leafs and part of me like hates them like watching them play tonight made me hate
00:18:03.280
them just the way they were like not winning that was your analysis again they just like yeah they
00:18:08.560
just weren't winning well florida looked like they really want to win whereas toronto it's like they
00:18:14.640
it's like they're just happy to be there we're just happy we're in the playoffs like that's kind
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of the vibe that i got in the game one i think that's always like a silly take for people to take
00:18:24.560
on sports because one team just wanted more no they're professional athletes like they want to win
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they're all hyper competitive crazy like toronto just got out i know but i think that it's like
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subconsciously when you're on the toronto maple leaves and you're in the playoffs and it's just
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so much hype like compared to being in florida like nobody gives a fuck that their panthers are
00:18:42.560
in the playoffs people like oh yeah the panthers like oh yeah they might even think you're talking
00:18:46.080
about the carolina football it's an afterthought yeah it's not that's why they had to make it so like
00:18:51.520
here it's a big fucking but yeah that's why it's embarrassing that the leafs always
00:18:55.280
fucking lose but i was i was in winnipeg and watched their team lose every single game
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and watch their fans just think they were going to like move on every single fucking night they're
00:19:04.240
like so hyped all of their white jerseys on they're all and every night i did stand up after they would
00:19:10.400
lose and i would just go on and just shit on their team be like you guys are shit you're garbage making
00:19:15.600
fun of them and people were very upset did not like that but there was no door dealing was 15 exactly
00:19:21.280
that's what i said the first night of the uh shows like the first thursday i was making jokes about
00:19:28.480
that i'm like i'm like i'm not doing my act for you guys like you paid 15 you're getting
00:19:32.400
fucking this is what you're getting and after the show there was like a complaint like from
00:19:38.240
someone in management was like you saw no i don't want to they they like actually were thinking about
00:19:43.120
firing me for a second for because i made fun of the ticket prices and i did that right after they
00:19:49.200
came into my green room and told me that i sold the most tickets out of any comic that's ever done
00:19:54.400
the club and then the next day they're like we're firing them because he said the tickets are too
00:19:58.640
cheap it's like why don't you just charge more yeah like just raise the price like oh well people
00:20:04.000
already bought it at that price so it's just like who cares make the second half of people pay more
00:20:10.240
it's also in the nicest building and anyway it's either here or there you can check up patreon
00:20:14.640
we i bitch about it a little bit but i appreciate that um you know mike over at yuck yucks in winnipeg
00:20:23.680
is the man he's the manager i believe of the club he's the fucking man and he kept us fed and i'm pretty
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happy all things considered um but comedy is no joke guys no joke when you're on the road and you're eating
00:20:40.320
like i i had a night where i did mcdonald's and then i ordered a sub after i ordered subway mcdonald's
00:20:49.120
within an hour and a half and i i ate the sub with the lights off i ate the sub with the lights off in
00:20:54.960
my room alone and and it's and it tasted like garbage like it tasted like the sub had already
00:21:00.240
been in the garbage can and i ate the whole thing and then i fell asleep and i woke up feeling like i had
00:21:05.840
like sleep apnea or something like i was like i can't breathe like i'm literally falling asleep
00:21:09.840
after eating like a pound of food this is the most ben bank of story i've ever heard it's disgusting
00:21:14.960
it's absolutely disgusting that wouldn't have happened if i had been able to sports gamble by the way
00:21:19.280
yeah this is why we need more sports gambling because this is why you should be able to interpro
00:21:23.360
provincially sports sports gamble because then that will sedate your addiction so you don't need to eat
00:21:28.480
as mayor of toronto i'm going to be reaching out to all premiers and mayors in this country and coming to
00:21:34.480
a deal where we can make sure that i personally can sports gamble anywhere that's why you're going
00:21:39.760
on tour still to make inroads cross-country sometimes i like okay well if i go to this
00:21:44.640
town and i make that and then we go to that casino in that town double the money no don't worry i don't
00:21:51.600
i don't make bets like that the most i'll gamble at a casino is like 500 bucks
00:21:56.400
it's still a good amount of money stupid yeah it's still usually 100 if i win 500 if i don't
00:22:05.920
no you should set a limit like you should set a reasonable limit like i'll bet
00:22:09.120
100 tonight and then stick to it don't bet more don't bet enough that if you're that you
00:22:14.880
if there was like three casinos in toronto this entire city would just fucking
00:22:19.920
just like destroy itself that's why so many cities in canada are just dog
00:22:23.520
shit because they have like three casinos like calgary has so many casinos you're like
00:22:28.560
why why do people need to gamble this much because people are addicted to gambling and
00:22:34.400
sometimes people sometimes people aren't sometimes people like me who enjoy like some blackjack here
00:22:39.520
or there or poker can handle themselves like do a moderate amount of betting and have a good time
00:22:43.440
and then there's some people like you were like i need to bet 50 and do like 150 parlays every
00:22:48.960
night because i won one once so i'm going to be betting the panthers in the heat and and the suns
00:22:54.240
and the in the lakers or whatever the hell and then you're gonna do it and then since the game
00:22:59.120
starts like fire should i bet more should i throw another hundred dollars to the panthers should i feel
00:23:02.640
fourth at some point like i just put seven hundred dollars on the leafs it's like
00:23:07.520
leaves are down too should i put 700 on them there is i don't know they really get you by like they
00:23:18.800
shouldn't show you how much you'd win they should just say like how much like you should make you
00:23:22.560
calculate it yourself and it's like in-game betting on it's like because all you see is like 20 bucks
00:23:27.440
800 i'll do it that's a you that's a you and armin move you're like oh my god i see something that
00:23:34.640
they could win a lot of money it's like yeah because the odds of that happening are like
00:23:37.840
astronomical you're like but i could win 100 you were watching though you were watching the game
00:23:41.760
watching miami winning and you were like holy shit this guy is a fucking he's i was i was cheering
00:23:46.480
like once the least lost i didn't want miami to lose just to spite you i'd be like it'd be nice if
00:23:50.400
he makes a couple hundred bucks but at the same time i'm happy i didn't do a parlay on miami in florida
00:23:57.840
fuck i'm just happy i never i didn't have sports gambling to bet on the jets because i probably
00:24:04.880
maybe we won't need sports gambling maybe we'll see 10 we'll like this this will be mandatory viewing
00:24:08.880
for canadian podcasts like no one will be allowed to you'll have to talk about oh i actually wrote a
00:24:13.200
joke about or i think it was actually for the next mirror video okay not to spoiler alert here but
00:24:19.040
basically saying that we make every like make it mandatory to gamble every night
00:24:25.120
like a hundred dollar minimum that every citizen must gamble a hundred dollars and if you don't
00:24:32.960
like if you don't gamble a hundred dollars we'll just take a hundred dollars so you have to gamble
00:24:36.480
you have to gamble it otherwise we just take a hundred dollars and like you either win or you
00:24:39.680
lose every night 100 bucks no questions asked either it comes out of your bank account no matter what
00:24:46.560
bet365 is now part of your standard iphone setup turn it on hey i have a fucking first app
00:24:53.440
bet365 before you can turn up before you can access access your contacts you have to set up your bet
00:24:59.280
sign into your bet365 account and a hundred dollars is taken out immediately every night you gotta
00:25:04.400
gamble it on like we like we should become like an authoritarian like like you know how like china's
00:25:09.360
like that but do it like the opposite where it's like you have to gamble every night so instead
00:25:14.000
of like trying to make the perfect society we try to make the worst one with our social credit score
00:25:17.680
yeah you make everybody degenerate yeah so because that would actually make us like more
00:25:23.440
yeah like harder to fight in a war yeah if you bet a hundred dollars every night your esg score goes
00:25:29.200
up right right no if you lose a bet you're not allowed to leave your home for a day
00:25:38.800
so we fix climate change yes yeah so you can only leave your home if you win a sports gambling bet
00:25:43.920
of over a hundred dollars over like you have to bet at least a hundred dollars on one single bet
00:25:53.760
and in the off season you can't leave your house
00:25:57.600
or you know i guess you could you have to gamble on baseball
00:26:03.920
why not because in china they have you know that thing where they're kind of doing something
00:26:08.720
similar to that um here and people are kind of cheering it on but you know how in china everywhere
00:26:14.720
you go they have these billboards of all the people who like jaywalked at this crosswalk and
00:26:18.720
they'll show like all the pictures yeah do you know about this yeah in china they have like they have
00:26:23.040
like and like all yeah yes and like if you violate it they like show your picture everywhere bus stops
00:26:28.400
and stuff like or if you're like a criminal too right like if you do anything criminal
00:26:32.880
but they just did that in like dundas young dundas square the same like shame people they put they
00:26:38.800
made cardboard cutouts of the most wanted criminals in canada which i get like there's a difference
00:26:45.200
between like wanted criminals like this person like the fbi does that like he was the most wanted
00:26:48.880
there's a difference between that and like this guy jaywalk it's like it's different it's like
00:26:52.560
this guy's killed four people look out but it's still it's like cardboard cutouts of people and
00:26:57.040
it's like what's it like the next step is it's move it's still moving towards well it's shaming
00:27:04.400
everyone well like the next step is is like no it's the first thing they want to find these guys
00:27:09.360
dangerous we need to find them so we need cameras everywhere that have facial recognition so we
00:27:13.360
could already have pretty much yeah but like right now you still have rights so like this technology
00:27:18.160
can't be openly we should just have facial recognition and all it should show is whether you
00:27:22.080
when the last time you won 365 unless of your smile was big enough that you won a hundred dollars
00:27:29.120
when's the last time you watched a ukrainian slave deal blackjack cards at 3 a.m
00:27:34.160
fucking live stream the dealers are like live they're the thing and they're like on bed 365
00:27:39.440
the bed 365 you sign in on the computer they have live dealers for roulette so people could chat
00:27:44.800
like asking this woman like where are you from she's like i'm from ukraine and people are asking about
00:27:48.080
the war what is bad do you want to split no she was like yeah
00:27:52.080
do you want the insurance but uh no she uh she was like some guy lost and she was like it's not as
00:28:00.560
bad as ukraine war you want you lost 500 but it's not that i don't know it's yeah but that's our society
00:28:09.520
now it's just so people adults get together and gamble in their homes which i mean if you can be
00:28:18.640
responsible about it and have fun with it it's fun is that our society or is that your life for the
00:28:23.200
last week i'm gonna pretend it's all of society okay everyone we know is on bed 365 almost almost
00:28:32.240
yeah my grandmother just at the nursing home just ripping off bets on the old people knew how to
00:28:37.040
use bet 365 they would use bet 365 i i don't doubt that if they if they could be if they'd be playing
00:28:43.520
roulette if i was in a senior zone with bet 365 i would lose every i would i would purposely try to
00:28:50.240
go bankrupt oh man there's no way you could it means even if you won huge like the the amount of
00:28:56.720
like demented you'd get you'd lose it all within a day i wouldn't be able to sports gamble i would
00:29:01.760
just play like you'd be playing blackjack or fucking roulette you'd throw it away on the one of those
00:29:06.000
things but part of me thinks that the the old people that gamble like stay like it almost like
00:29:12.080
keeps their brain like even though they're losing money there's like they're going through a lot of
00:29:15.920
emotional stuff and they're just like thinking and they're like you go to the casinos you see so many
00:29:20.960
old people the top of me they're the same age as people who are in the seniors homes but they just
00:29:25.680
kept fucking pulling that slot thing or hitting that button or playing cards or whatever and keep
00:29:31.520
playing cards actually playing cards keeps you mentally sharp that's it so like yeah you don't
00:29:35.840
always have to play like blackjack but yeah i mean but blackjack's good for your brain because you
00:29:40.400
have to if you know how to play i was trying to explain to him like the rules of blackjack and
00:29:44.800
then armand's like no just bet it all it's always hit bet split double like no you have 20 the dealer
00:29:50.880
showing an eight don't split that and i'm like no but you could win more i want to be smart like that i
00:29:56.080
want to know i think knowing blackjack knowing poker i don't know it's kind of it's kind of a
00:30:01.360
useful skill it's a useful skill but like the big skill in that as someone who was a good poker
00:30:06.000
player and you know it's patience like you have to be able the way you win in poker long term is
00:30:11.440
the ability to fold and in blackjack it's the ability to stay stay and let the dealer go bust in
00:30:17.520
the right scenario like right it's long term being learning how to stay and learning how to fold at the
00:30:22.880
right times when do you is where that's how even the odds against the house
00:30:28.720
guys join patreon so we can afford gambling addiction rehab because i don't even know how
00:30:35.200
to gamble and i just like it but i keep winning randomly and i'm still and losing but i haven't
00:30:40.880
and losing yeah but i'm still not down for the week yeah here so there's nothing wrong with it if
00:30:45.040
you're not down for the week then i mean this is maybe we should just do a gambling professional
00:30:50.400
gambler i'm a professional gambler yeah you should gamble on stage because you still get paid to do
00:30:55.920
that you should be gambling on bet 365 while i'm on stage while you're on stage just riffing i would
00:31:02.160
i do wish i could like live stream me just watching a fucking basketball game that i have no business
00:31:10.160
giving a fuck about that i put a hundred dollars on just to be like what the fuck was that call and i'm
00:31:15.280
like god i haven't played basketball in like six years yeah is there like a actually is there like
00:31:19.840
a tick tock category where like people just bring videos like oh there's tick tocks people doing
00:31:23.840
everything or like short videos of like oh there's there's twitter every social media has like gambling
00:31:30.560
yeah but i don't i don't want to do that guys i i just like talking about what's going on in my life
00:31:36.480
um what else happened this week i got banned from twitter for 10 hours for calling some liberal guy a
00:31:43.680
pussy and uh he he like got his fan his followers to mass report me and i got banned for 12 hours
00:31:52.560
that's good like how many followers did he have 400k oh 400k so so you got okay so you got under
00:31:58.160
someone in big skin and then they fucked you over yeah that's but then i that's like i gained like
00:32:02.880
100 followers from it yeah just from people being like yeah but this guy yeah yeah yeah so i had to
00:32:09.680
block one of my followers because he went nuts because i made fun i i like my last day in winnipeg
00:32:16.080
i just woke up so mad i was just like i hate that i'm still here my flight was until 6 pm i had to hang
00:32:21.440
out at the hotel for like the whole day so i just went on twitter right when i woke up and i just like
00:32:26.880
called some woman fat and like called some guy and like i was just like going nuts and yeah and then i
00:32:32.560
i got banned i was like yeah i probably deserve that that was a little ridiculous i don't know why
00:32:36.240
the fuck i did that wake up and go to war with the world yeah sometimes you gotta do this that's
00:32:39.680
sometimes yeah that's what twitter's for should oh i guess it's like calling people pussies at
00:32:44.560
9 a.m on a sunday yeah fuck it it's not real life it does piss people off yeah just well that's the
00:32:50.160
funny thing about twitter is it is real life like people want to pretend like social media is a real
00:32:55.360
life but like it kind of is like who's gonna be like oh but it isn't you what like in your life like
00:33:01.120
who's gonna be like oh no ben bankus got banned from twitter for 10 hours now i can't i mean i was
00:33:06.000
fine with the theresa tan videos but the 10 hour twitter ban dude my fans i don't know they they're
00:33:11.600
like i'm stuck at 69 000 followers right now and because you haven't put any videos when you went on
00:33:18.080
tour well i didn't put any new uh super new videos i had a couple videos do okay but i wasn't concentrating
00:33:27.520
on and you know that's another reason why armin's fired is because he didn't pick up the
00:33:31.920
fucking camera enough and whatever but he's probably gonna be angry listening this or you
00:33:36.960
he'll never listen this probably that's more likely this would be the test to see if he come back and
00:33:40.800
he's angry yeah then you know he cares and it's in his heart yeah let's see if he actually listens to
00:33:45.520
himself on the podcast um but yeah not enough videos i think it really you really do have to
00:33:54.320
like put out so much content and that was what i was trying to say at the beginning before i went in
00:33:58.080
this whole sports gambling spiel is that getting away from social media for a little bit just to
00:34:03.360
create a little space between me and my fans like i know that maybe that's not the right philosophy like
00:34:08.400
people want i want videos all day long but when i see videos of people all day long like personally i'm
00:34:14.640
just like i'm not interested anymore it also like you get so in depth in a little hole that you end
00:34:20.480
up talking like a crazy person you need to go like back into the real world because like everyone is
00:34:24.880
like you see like almost every like the real influencer who's like on like 24 hours a day 24 7 just always
00:34:30.880
on it like yeah their life is like in some twitter argument that no one else is it's like they're so
00:34:35.520
far down the rabbit hole well you know that girl i started following that girl who um she's like on
00:34:41.200
she has a podcast where she talks about like men's rights right she's like she's the woman who's
00:34:46.640
like early things yeah pearl yeah she's fucking so stupid i i love but she like has an opportunity
00:34:52.640
where she has this like huge following and all this big audience and all she does is spend her
00:34:56.240
whole day arguing with like random retards on twitter being like um actually no uh i'm supporting men
00:35:04.560
because and she's like dude just do your content and that's what i kind of realized with the
00:35:08.880
but her getting banned off twitter thing and you know i'm an artist right and like people don't
00:35:14.560
realize this because they watch my videos and like he's i'm gonna go see ben bank is live and
00:35:19.840
he's just gonna he's an artist he's gonna say do a chinese accent for an hour and a half and that is
00:35:25.680
what i do but that's art no that's not hot but uh no people come and they go holy fuck and i go yeah
00:35:31.760
i've been doing comedy for 12 years but i had to get back to basics sometimes like because you just
00:35:38.800
end up scrolling instagram and you're just spending all this time looking at what other people are
00:35:43.040
doing and worrying am i not doing enough and looking at other people's followings and going oh
00:35:48.640
fuck how do i get and what you really need to be doing is just making content yeah like i'm on twitter
00:35:53.600
fucking calling middle-aged women fat and telling them they're gonna die alone like there is something to
00:35:59.680
that like that energy but it's not someone needs to be doing that sometimes it's i guess necessary but
00:36:08.080
it's stressing me out like it's causing me mental harm to go on which is why it's better to spend
00:36:13.520
hundreds of dollars sports gambling than calling they call women fat on twitter yes and hopefully
00:36:19.680
losing weight myself would probably be a good yeah that'd be a good start yeah i'm like instead of
00:36:24.640
losing weight i'm just gonna call other people fat while i have a profile picture of me 30 pounds lighter
00:36:29.680
that's what i'm gonna do with hair um no so that trying to eat some good meals because we
00:36:38.640
fucking ate like shit on the road i mean we had a shawarma today but i have two home-cooked meals
00:36:42.560
besides that if you eat if you eat two good meals and a bad meal that's still like a lot of food like
00:36:48.800
like like like you could be like i had three dinners and one of them was good
00:37:01.760
this is a bit this is look 200 on black while ordering a shawarma i'm losing weight okay the
00:37:09.200
stress of the stress of the room i'm an artist i'm an artist this is kids this is how you do art
00:37:14.160
people don't realize how hard comedy is you got to eat three meals a dinner you have to spend
00:37:23.520
you have to uh work with minorities and then fire them
00:37:29.520
it goes like you you had 20 he had 20 in blackjack and he doubled on it not even split
00:37:35.280
you doubled on a 20. but then i won the second double remember no when you double you get one
00:37:39.280
card you went boss and everyone was in the and then the woman was looking you're like what the
00:37:44.160
fuck who the dealer from yugoslavia yeah i was looking yeah because you had 20 you're like oh
00:37:50.320
shit and i'm like double the castle's like double you're not gonna double nope i'm like stand you're
00:37:53.920
the thing and then you and then you click the button and it was like there's 40 down the chain
00:38:00.160
i gotta wake up every day play a little roulette hey damn no i'm just kidding
00:38:05.600
i wake up every day i have to do i try to do three pages of writing of just like my thoughts
00:38:13.360
sadness about my childhood anger about current events anger about current situations i'm in
00:38:19.920
anger about winnipeg anger about sports gambling trying to talk sense into myself organizing my
00:38:27.600
thoughts making lists of things i want to do creating goals like these are actually that's an
00:38:32.160
actually important thing that i try to do every day then i try to read for at least
00:38:35.840
30 minutes a day which is not that easy sometimes what do you read uh i'm reading uh i just started
00:38:44.960
reading a book called the wolf pack about the mexican drug cartels coming to canada and how
00:38:50.000
they're they infiltrated like the the like gang scene like the organized crime scene in canada
00:38:56.480
to like smuggle drugs in which is kind of cool then i'm reading like a lenny bruce not a bio autobiography
00:39:03.920
or biography it's like 600 pages i'm like fucking 400 in it's crazy his life is
00:39:10.320
fucked i haven't even gotten to the part where he's like i don't even i'm reading this book i'm
00:39:14.160
going lenny bruce if you don't know lenny bruce is look him up he's like basically considered the
00:39:19.280
godfather of comedy like the creator of comedy like stand-up stand-up comedy yeah one of the first the
00:39:24.400
greats he was like one of the first guys to do stand-up that like there were comedians
00:39:29.760
that they called them comedians but they would go up and they would basically just do like
00:39:34.960
just like set up punch like kind of knock knocky kind of jokes like very he went on and he was like
00:39:42.160
a heroin addict and like everything addict and he would just go on and do all like just talk about
00:39:49.280
all this real shit talk about sex he would get arrested a lot because they had all these laws
00:39:53.520
in the u.s where you couldn't do certain say certain things in public so i haven't even got
00:40:00.320
to the part where he's successful like i don't even know if he ever really was that successful
00:40:04.080
like he he like i don't even know if he was ever a millionaire or anything i because i'm 400 pages in
00:40:10.720
and all he's doing is like heroin getting mad at his like wife he stole his baby away from his wife
00:40:19.200
when his baby was six months old he stole the baby from hawaii and then called the cops on his wife so
00:40:24.000
his wife couldn't leave hawaii until she had some court case like they found drugs on her or whatever
00:40:29.920
just that's where i basically left off so i read that trying to get to make some sense of my life
00:40:34.320
and i always whenever i'm like oh my god my life's fucked i lost 140 in sports gambling tonight i go read
00:40:40.640
lenny bruce yeah you're like i'm like this this guy is insane like because he literally had a guy he
00:40:45.520
would have like a he had like a doctor that would administer drugs to him like a doctor that would
00:40:51.600
like legitimately um like administer him with methamphetamine like shoot him up with
00:40:58.880
fucking heroin meth like at the same time like and then he would go perform and people would be like
00:41:04.080
he was electric it's like dude he was fucking whacked out of his mind but anyway i read that
00:41:11.520
some hemingway i try to switch it up but i'm trying to read if i catch myself scrolling
00:41:17.280
on instagram or something i'll just pull it i'll switch over to the book app and just start
00:41:21.360
fucking reading that and um yeah so there's a lot of that involved with with comedy and being funny
00:41:29.200
and even like writing sketches and stuff like i feel like i have to take a step back and just kind
00:41:33.520
of live my life especially because uh stop pitching fine but especially because my you know i have a kid
00:41:41.120
and fiance and i want to be there and not be addicted to heroin and steal the baby yeah exactly not be
00:41:47.200
addicted to bat 365 and sell the baby for chips if i parlay the baby on the heat i gotta parlay uh
00:41:56.320
uh miami heat my child um panthers panthers my panthers sold my kid miami heat
00:42:10.640
i live at falls you i got it i got a free suite at falls you because i spent five grand on blackjack
00:42:18.640
mr i only bet 500 tonight i've never done that by the way just for the record i've never even played
00:42:23.600
blackjack you know yeah it was yeah you played blackjack for the first time last night and i
00:42:27.440
fucked around i won a couple hands and lost a bunch of hands it was you know it was what it was you
00:42:31.360
came out positive on blackjack from what i saw it was just the uh roulette roulette's really bad it's
00:42:36.800
so bad it's such an evil game if anything they should just make roulette illegal or back rack and
00:42:43.360
some shit like that craps and just only have one game like vlt's themselves don't make any sense to me
00:42:50.480
like like the slots like when you play like electronic slots and it's literally like
00:42:55.120
how do you expect like what legally is going on inside this machine where it's not conservative
00:43:02.160
gambling so there's there's research on like men versus women gambling like women like doing slots
00:43:07.200
on a higher win more no they don't win more it's just the type of like men like making men like
00:43:12.640
making big bolder bets when they gamble whereas women will gamble more conservative women are more
00:43:17.040
likely to put a hundred dollars incrementally into a slot machine yeah and do that that way
00:43:21.280
and men are more likely to say okay i got one bet tonight fuck it's on black or you know put on this
00:43:25.760
hand a blackjack men are more likely to gamble like that dude when i put like 25 dollars on fucking
00:43:33.120
the number one and it hit and i made like 800 or whatever off of it i was like what the
00:43:39.680
fuck that that hooked me on roulette yeah that will happen is you you i hit four not like when if you
00:43:47.120
hit like all your numbers like that's the thing i think listen if you always hitting and then you
00:43:52.320
you have to walk away if you yeah and then if you which bet 365 doesn't have a proper cash out button
00:43:58.880
like you have to like fill out a form and like have like money orders sent to your bank it's like there
00:44:04.000
should just be a button you go cash out it goes right to your bank account like a sp like you're
00:44:08.800
making all this sports gambling so legal but then it's like i want to get paid and it's like this
00:44:12.560
hard process fuck you and the reason they do that is so it stays in your account you just keep gambling
00:44:17.360
it yeah you lose it all yeah of course it's it's it's actually criminal the whole thing's criminal
00:44:23.200
good luck getting a gambling sponsorship going forward anyway bet 365 please sponsor my show
00:44:28.480
even if you sponsor me it will peril and compare it like whatever you give me you're getting it's
00:44:35.200
going into the yeah it's like we have been 500 bucks a week yeah just just give me chips just
00:44:40.960
give me sports gambling chips for the bet 365 comedy podcast this podcast is sponsored by bet 365 and by
00:44:47.600
that i mean they just give me 200 a week to gamble and i lose it all you should like turn calm like you
00:44:52.320
should turn comedy into competitive gambling sport in toronto when you're mayor have gamble on whether
00:44:57.520
someone's gonna bomb sometimes there's comics that you wouldn't expect to be addicted to sports
00:45:03.280
gambling and you're like do you sports gamble like oh yeah every night you're like holy fuck
00:45:07.520
like i take long breaks i get bored of it like not because i lose money it's just more just like
00:45:12.640
it's boring i don't want i don't care anymore i'm done with it like tomorrow night i'll just be like
00:45:18.160
i'm over it probably hopefully tomorrow night i'm gonna get a text from you saying like my uh
00:45:22.560
my my blackjack limit just got extended let's go let's go no but that's part of the artistry of
00:45:31.200
comedy is taking risks like willing to take those like the things that the same part of your brain
00:45:36.560
that makes you want to like be like fuck it let's put 25 dollars on one on the off chance it wins it's
00:45:42.720
kind of like the same part of your brain that you use when you're like fuck it let's just do this
00:45:56.000
pierre jeremy mckenzie jeremy mckenzie rape joke yeah jeremy mckenzie should he should honestly he
00:46:02.800
should probably just start sports gambling and he probably would have been a lot less trouble yeah
00:46:07.600
instead of trying to you know i almost like gambling like when i gamble i don't really feel the need to
00:46:12.160
drink i feel like some people really like they need to be hammered to gamble or they like want
00:46:16.480
like they get hammered and then they want like i almost rather like have a club soda just lose 100
00:46:22.800
bucks like a fun time well i'm like that like i can if i'm playing poker right for the night i don't
00:46:27.440
like i'll have at most one drink like i i enjoy the skill and like the the thinking along and playing
00:46:33.360
like that's fun for me i don't need to get drunk if i do get drunk i'm thinking less and having less fun
00:46:38.080
yeah usually i'll like win and then start drinking and then i start losing yeah which is
00:46:45.840
what they want that's what they want right because you make crazier decisions when you're
00:46:48.880
drunk at a casino that's why casinos what's weird about the casinos in winnipeg is
00:46:54.800
like if you're a casinorama and or falls view or whatever and if you're in niagara falls
00:47:01.760
and you're at a table and you're betting the waitress is on you like hey drinks drinks drinks
00:47:07.200
yeah there it was so hard to get a waitress every fucking and everybody was just sober gambling it's
00:47:11.360
all like ethnic people like sober gambling there was like there was no like there's
00:47:14.960
you can't have a casino they had they had a cocktail waitress but i had to ask like five
00:47:19.760
times for her to come and like by the time she came i was like i don't even fucking want to drink
00:47:23.520
like that's crazy it was insane it's insane and then i but at every single casino this happened
00:47:28.560
every single casino in in that's you know there's no organized crime at these places because they'd be
00:47:33.840
like no we want to make well this is the first casino we went to the bouncer like actually as
00:47:38.720
we were leaving it was a small casino but like asked uh armin if he wanted to buy blow which is
00:47:45.760
so sketchy for a casino that because same casino tried to steal my money twice yeah they like i won
00:47:51.760
an outside bet and they just took the chips i'm like i just won that bet and then they're like what
00:47:55.440
and then they had to look at the cameras yeah fucking sketchy it's called shark club i don't know
00:48:00.640
now i'm gonna get shot in the head for no you can't go back to winnipeg i don't know i don't
00:48:06.320
want to winnipeg sorry winnipeg the shows are really good do not like being there and i think
00:48:13.520
it has to do with being from toronto and people kept being like oh you're from toronto so what's
00:48:17.760
so good about toronto it's like i don't know like everything i don't know like i just look around i'm
00:48:21.280
like this is a city in winnipeg i just go this is a fucking small town with a downtown and it sucks
00:48:27.600
and and the nicest restaurants earls and oh western canada everything's earls in western
00:48:34.480
canada it's earls earls cactus club cactus club like calgary is all just a collection of
00:48:40.080
earls and cactus clubs that's all it is it's and they have the ugliest earls and cactus clubs
00:48:46.960
you've ever seen at least here they have some earls at like a nice mall but in calgary they literally
00:48:54.320
have an earl's next to like a jiffy loop or like a cal tire it's insane you're like this is on
00:49:00.960
basically like a highway how is this and earls and that's just where people go and then they go there
00:49:07.200
and edmonton calgary that whole kind of the saskatchewan alberta manitoba
00:49:18.000
earls cactus club that is the best restaurant you can go to in those three cities i'm not even
00:49:23.520
joking you can ask saskatoon has a nice restaurant that we didn't get to go to called aiden but i
00:49:29.680
would have went there i wanted to go there but we didn't make enough money yeah we the nicest
00:49:34.640
restaurant we went through in the whole so the nicest restaurant you could afford was earls and
00:49:39.200
cactus club i'm no we didn't even go to no well i'm sure calgary and edmonton have fancy places
00:49:45.360
it's like oil town you think those freaking oil millionaires are like we're gonna go to the like
00:49:49.680
there's fucking baller places for like the place jason kenney was tell us tell us in the comments
00:49:55.200
guys if there is a nice restaurant tell us the nicest restaurant in your city in your town wherever
00:50:00.480
you're from tell us where you're from tell us the nicest restaurant in that city and i will try to go
00:50:05.520
to that restaurant and give you a shout out when i get there because we went to at least i think it's
00:50:11.360
called at least or something in vancouver for restaurant it was fucking stupid expensive it was like
00:50:16.560
five hundred dollars for two people that's crazy why would you do that i guess you do money like
00:50:21.040
yeah because it was because i just started making money and i was being insane yeah and then we went
00:50:25.360
to the casino in vancouver that was the worst casino night i've ever had this like i i'd like to see
00:50:32.000
i want to see like this could be a good podcast where like the financial advisor podcast react to this
00:50:37.680
send this to my accountant i've been trying to call him every day trying to get an hst number and
00:50:47.840
i'm just gonna call him be like yeah i don't need an hst i put it all in black but on black it's all
00:50:53.360
gone i'm not sure that works yeah if you saw yeah just like those like real estate investor guys like
00:50:58.880
reacting to this i don't think that's why i rather just tour with my family so then it's just like i'm
00:51:03.840
gonna go home and go to sleep after this and then i that is i see why they don't want you gambling
00:51:10.640
out of province because it's like what's the point of even like you're going to another province on
00:51:16.400
vacation you're getting gamble on your phone they probably want you to gamble at their own casino
00:51:22.080
right or no they want the revenue to go to their province or i don't know it's just jurisdiction
00:51:27.120
federal revenue or is it i think it's provincial so it is provincial so that's why yeah because they
00:51:31.680
don't want you gambling and giving money to ontario when you're in winnipeg or it just like it makes
00:51:36.400
it more complicated and you don't need all the bureaucracies like it's right enough of a clusterfuck
00:51:40.080
going on guys i love you i love the fans i'm sorry to some of my fans i do upset some of my fans at my live
00:51:51.920
shows particularly older white women yeah who they'll like they'll be like laughing laughing when i make
00:52:00.720
fun of like i'll be doing a chinese accent and they'll be like
00:52:09.680
and then i'm making fun of like some like woke thing like trans kid thing and they're like yeah
00:52:15.600
and then i'm like you know white women they're like what the well you wait a minute there sir
00:52:20.240
and then white people get so offended at those jokes and i'm like guys how can you justify laugh like
00:52:25.360
you have to look at yourself at that point and go okay i'm not here to laugh i'm here to laugh at a
00:52:31.040
specific race of people like i've actually i just i just like want to hear my opinions back at me and
00:52:36.720
it's not like really bad what i say about white people you guys will see it if you come to the
00:52:39.920
shows it's fucking hilarious but um you just mostly there's a lot of people who aren't my fans were at
00:52:46.560
the winnipeg shows because it was like half my fans and then half random people and the random
00:52:51.280
people were a little scared but then some of my fans were also like i did a joke about like
00:52:56.880
why i think gay people have better lives yeah as a joke because well okay i'll spoil a part of it
00:53:06.720
is that you know like every time you meet a gay person you ask them what they do for living they're
00:53:11.600
always like they always do something i do something it's very i'm very fulfilled it's a very fulfilling
00:53:16.480
job i'm the head of equities like they're always like the head of like some like sort of woke thing
00:53:21.840
at like a big company and they love it and they're just like everything i've ever wanted to do and
00:53:26.960
then you meet like a straight person and you're like what do you do like i do hvac and i fucking hate
00:53:32.160
my wife i don't know like gay people just have like a fun time like they meet their spouse on like a trip
00:53:38.320
to fucking like miami and then you ask like straight people how they met and it's like well i was actually
00:53:44.320
married and then i had to get a divorce and then we met and i don't know it's just like very sad
00:53:48.960
and depressing but it was it's a it's a joke like i don't like and i'm trying to play devil's advocate
00:53:53.600
sometimes with my audience because i want my audience to come and laugh at themselves and at
00:53:58.960
other people and at this and you can't be and it's not supposed to be serious it's not really my like
00:54:04.800
hardcore opinion with your with the thing with your comedy though is like you understand that you
00:54:08.640
can't do comedy as like like a political party line like yeah you're like you've said political
00:54:14.400
things you did the damn thing the lockdowns whatever but like what people don't understand
00:54:17.760
is like it's not just gonna be a right-wing sermon like that's not funny no like you can
00:54:22.320
make fun of retarded like woke trudeau stuff because it's funny but then like also like everyone's
00:54:26.960
being ridiculous well everybody's wants censorship on both sides yeah people on the right are like
00:54:34.000
like i'm free speech but if you're a fucking trans then you better shut the fuck it's like
00:54:38.880
okay well you can't i'm sorry like i get the whole like no twerking in front of the kids i get that the
00:54:43.680
kids stuff and like having the like stuff in the schools and and and shit is like a problem and and
00:54:49.040
it's definitely this disturbing on many levels and it's disturbing that a lot of these people in their
00:54:55.360
like late 30s to like late 50s who are a lot of them childless have these strong opinions about what
00:55:03.440
kids should learn in terms of gender ideal all that stuff's fucked but in terms of even the bud
00:55:10.320
light thing like i i turn i told my i called my friend in texas i said dude i'm turning a new leaf
00:55:15.280
like i'm pro trans and anti-white like i'm just sick of it but only because it's funny right like
00:55:21.360
it's funny to do that now it's funnier to right now it's because there's so many comics who copy me
00:55:28.480
yeah there's like honestly like go watch yuck yucks now like versus two years ago before i had
00:55:33.760
a following now there's so many guys going up there like they're all making fun of the government from
00:55:44.320
that perspective of like but now it's almost hack so it's almost funnier to go up there and be like guys
00:55:50.720
i think you should i like i will suck a trans dick to like you know what i mean it's funnier to be
00:55:56.640
like pro there or at least play devil's advocate for the trans freedom of speech because there's podcast
00:56:02.880
episodes that i like just ranting and raving it's like why do i i really don't think these people
00:56:15.280
like when i watch a video on twitter of a black guy walking down the street donkey punching a random
00:56:24.000
white elderly person in the face and knocking them out and then beating them senseless while they're
00:56:30.480
unconscious on the ground part of me goes that's disgusting and then the other part of me goes
00:56:37.440
i kind of get it because because i stayed in a hotel for 12 days in winnipeg and i saw white people
00:56:46.480
up close they were small elevators you had to get into a small elevator with whites and they were in
00:56:51.760
there like and like i could not me like i don't want but i can see how like if you're black or not white
00:57:01.920
and you just see white people and they're just like oh like oh like but i get it so no i'm joking
00:57:10.080
but see that's a joke that's a joke that should be funny but isn't because well to some people like
00:57:18.240
my audience who hate you would find that funny if they didn't know you were saying it right right
00:57:22.960
the people who think i'm like this evil right-wing guy the people but the people who are my fans might
00:57:28.000
be like what do you mean that's that's awful like so you should like but that's what that's the
00:57:34.000
problem guys that my my truest fans are people who are just like yo i want to like actually escape
00:57:40.720
from all the like to be an entertainer you have to be somebody who people want to listen to to escape
00:57:47.600
not yes i want to touch on everything and talk about everything i think we had a couple things we
00:57:51.360
could talk about before we get out of here but you didn't send me anything you said you want to
00:57:55.040
talk about steven crowder yelling at his wife yeah but well there was the steven crowder yelling
00:57:59.360
at his wife thing but i don't even i watched it and i was just like you know what that's just the
00:58:06.240
i didn't even understand the context what his wife released that video after she divorced him
00:58:11.520
i think it was like leaked to the wife's family might like after steven crowder like was making
00:58:15.840
things public i think some of his wife's family leaked it to yashar ali and he put it up
00:58:20.640
oh yeah and then he's like i'm gonna leak more it's like why does he have a cctv camera of his
00:58:26.320
own it was like a ring security camera like around his house so since backyard well i guess yeah i mean
00:58:31.760
people in the states are worried about getting fucking robbed oh my god but anyway yeah he i don't know
00:58:37.680
how rich is he what's his net worth did you look it up look that up now steven crowder he's canadian yeah
00:58:46.400
net worth 2023 20 million 20 million jesus christ the guy's got money how does he have that much
00:58:59.920
fucking mini money he has a big youtube mini money he had to deal with the blaze like he got offered
00:59:05.520
like he got offered like a 20 something million dollar a year contract by the daily wire he just
00:59:09.920
didn't take it like he leaked this whole thing where he's offered like huge contract with daily
00:59:13.360
wire but they would have some sort of like not like full editorial control but there was like a
00:59:17.760
deal that like he wouldn't merge youtube and if he got strikes like and if you could got like
00:59:21.520
deleted the deal would be worth less if he like lost certain platforms which like makes sense like
00:59:26.480
it's a it's like a contract like it's like the nfl like you're signing a thing and it's like not he
00:59:30.240
definitely has like a fucked up ego like that where it's like if you get off like if netflix came to me
00:59:36.320
tomorrow and was like we'll give you 20 million dollars but we'd like it if you like deleted all
00:59:43.760
of your instagram every single post you've ever done i'd be like okay yeah you could just not to
00:59:51.360
and like some people can if they were like delete your account and become i'd be like no but if they
00:59:55.360
were like or like and you can maybe some of my fans will be mad about that oh how dare you you're
01:00:00.720
gonna censor yourself for the yeah some people yeah because i need to have 20 million dollars in the
01:00:05.040
bank account then i can then you can watch my podcast after that we can talk about it
01:00:10.080
but what the fuck do you want me to do you want me to be poor for you so 900 people can
01:00:15.280
watch this podcast and be like that's when it was good this podcast is good when only 900 people
01:00:20.240
watch it out when it's 10 000 or 100 000 like i can't go back and watch the human monkey hybrid
01:00:25.440
videos anymore so i'm out oh my god that was the most embarrassing thing dude was going to the
01:00:30.720
regent casino in niagara falls the second time after i'd won the night before and i start losing
01:00:36.560
on the roulette and the fucking roulette dealer goes are you pretty familiar you're pretty familiar uh
01:00:42.800
human monkey hybrid and i'm just like 300 down on the table and i'm like please support me on patreon
01:00:52.000
please for the love of god sign up for my patreon he's like i work here i don't make enough money to pay
01:00:57.040
for you patreon which part of me was kind of pissed off about that he said that because i was like
01:01:02.880
bro that's funny no it was funny i like i laughed but but i actually think a lot like a lot of my
01:01:08.320
fans messaged me like bro i don't make enough to pay for page six bucks a month if you can't afford
01:01:12.720
my patreon do you have like a lower tier like where you can get that's the lowest tier six bucks i used
01:01:17.840
to have a one dollar tier when i first started it and but then i was like okay i have 80 patrons and
01:01:24.720
i'm making 80 a month this is terrible this is awful maybe like create a like youtube membership
01:01:31.440
where like that could be one dollar patrons more i don't know yeah i thought about making a twitter
01:01:35.760
membership subscription too but it's like that like i don't have to diversify it that much like i wish
01:01:40.800
the people would just understand i think it has to do with canada because canada is so used to
01:01:48.880
subsidize oh that guy's yeah that guy's a comedian he's funny but i shouldn't have to give
01:01:53.280
him money because he's in canada somebody yeah he should be subsidized by the government
01:01:56.880
i can't take money from the government i do this in my act but it's comedy cbc's not going to come
01:02:01.360
to me and be like you know what we want to put on after the uh theresa tam press conference you
01:02:05.920
doing the theresa tam press conference in the chinese accent al val's going to be the anchor he's
01:02:10.160
going to play you in and then right that's gonna be um exactly yeah there's gonna be a woke trans
01:02:16.480
comic who goes this guy's a brilliant mind give it up for ben i just had top surgery and but
01:02:28.000
i honestly have nothing against like i wish i had a trans friend that i could like joke around with
01:02:32.000
about their top surgery yeah should we like should we like go and try putting out a bpa we're looking
01:02:39.200
for a trans friend for this group armin's out we need a trans friend yeah got rid of the person we
01:02:43.920
tried iranian straight male he we lost him to a bad blackjack habit he was taken out by the mob
01:02:53.600
for betting on 365 and uh so now we're looking for a trans abled we're looking for somebody who's
01:03:00.240
trans abled i'm not sure if you know what this is it's people who want to be disabled which is
01:03:07.040
almost similar to being a comedian it's kind of trans funny like trans yeah that's like being an
01:03:15.840
open micers when you're you have a like there's people who are open mic comedians but they work
01:03:20.720
as a lawyer during the day make like 300k a year you're like you're a trans trans you're trans comic
01:03:27.600
trans funny that's funny you don't need to do this yeah you don't you're not actually disabled you just
01:03:33.520
broke your arm on purpose so you can yeah get the fucking wheelchair at the airport or whatever
01:03:39.040
i thought about doing or you can use it to like hit on women it's like yeah i'm a lawyer at nights
01:03:42.480
what are your hobbies you stand up comedy yeah yeah one would love that it's like oh he does it but
01:03:46.400
he also like doesn't do it he's a lawyer and lawyer money but it's just like he's just interesting
01:03:50.160
for fun yeah if you're not if you're not well known and you do comedy and people don't really
01:03:55.280
like they just don't you know if i can yeah you gotta fidget you gotta fidget foot we gotta
01:04:00.960
you don't have to cut off your foot nail me down um guys i think the camera's gonna die any second
01:04:06.400
now um thank you so much for listening to us i love you guys patreon.com slash ben bank is
01:04:14.800
upcoming shows kingston ontario waterloo ontario ottawa ontario montreal quebec toronto ontario
01:04:25.360
niagara falls ontario bob cage in ontario thunder bay ontario hamilton ontario and then after that
01:04:32.880
we're going to the east coast i'm still going to be booking london ontario soon those dates are going
01:04:37.280
to be going out if you want to stay up to date on things join my mailing list it's free go to my
01:04:42.640
website ben bank is.com it's the first thing that pops up just enter your email nothing else and vote
01:04:47.680
ben bank is and vote ben bank is i will be making a big announcement in the next few days we will be
01:04:53.280
signing up officially we have the paperwork it's right there show the paper show the paperwork right
01:04:58.400
there uh here is the paperwork for the mayoral candidacy all of our signed paperwork so stay tuned a
01:05:08.960
lot of big things coming thank you for tuning into the bank of show you guys are the best go follow
01:05:13.760
daniel boardman um on social media what are your social medias uh twitter is ranting for canada and then
01:05:19.360
just was it always that it's my name daniel board like daniel boardman was taken so i just
01:05:25.040
did that and then uh it's daniel boardman on twitter facebook you be careful about not putting
01:05:31.920
money on miami i went my i think that leafs are going to win the next game and then they're going to
01:05:37.440
lose out of the first game away parlay the knicks the leafs and golden state golden state you guys are