Bankas Podcast - January 09, 2024


Island Time ｜ The Bankas Show - #040


Episode Stats


Length

53 minutes

Words per minute

159.74797

Word count

8,502

Sentence count

743

Harmful content

Misogyny

51

sentences flagged

Toxicity

270

sentences flagged

Hate speech

104

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of The Banker Show, I talk about my weekend in Ottawa, and how we need to go back to bullying people in public for having a sense of humor. I also talk about how woke people are fake.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.620 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Bankist Show.
00:00:04.000 Episode 40, it's a big episode.
00:00:06.280 It is the first episode of 2024,
00:00:09.240 so if you are not subscribed to my YouTube channel,
00:00:11.880 you need to do that right now.
00:00:13.660 Hit the subscribe button, hit the like button, 0.95
00:00:15.960 do all that shit, get it out of the way, get relaxed. 0.97
00:00:19.620 If you're watching on your TV, 0.99
00:00:20.820 I guess you can't really press the like button, can you,
00:00:24.340 with your PS5 remote?
00:00:26.360 All I got to say is Ottawa was a great time.
00:00:32.280 Just got back from three shows there.
00:00:35.540 First two were sold out, third one was almost sold out.
00:00:38.760 It was a late show.
00:00:40.800 It was great.
00:00:42.100 Some of the best clips were actually from the last show
00:00:45.080 on Friday night at 10 p.m.,
00:00:46.700 so go check out on my channel.
00:00:48.480 I just posted a couple three, four-minute interactions
00:00:53.020 with some of the audience members,
00:00:54.920 there's an Indian family or two Indians and a Pakistani
00:00:58.040 who were immigrants and trying to replace whites 0.99
00:01:02.440 in the country,
00:01:03.960 and then another one with a woman with a mask on 1.00
00:01:07.100 in the front row,
00:01:08.980 which was pretty amazing that she wanted to sit front row. 0.92
00:01:11.900 So go check out those clips on my YouTube channel
00:01:15.860 and, you know, get ready for the show.
00:01:26.320 Welcome to the show, everybody.
00:01:27.840 Welcome to The Bankist Show.
00:01:29.080 This is my podcast.
00:01:30.180 If you didn't know that I have a podcast,
00:01:32.320 now you know and you're listening to it, 0.99
00:01:34.020 so you should probably start jerking off 0.98
00:01:37.460 or whatever else you do when you listen to podcasts. 0.98
00:01:39.860 A lot of people listen to podcasts
00:01:41.300 when they're in their car, right?
00:01:43.160 You're trying to drown out your wife or your kids, 1.00
00:01:45.860 so you turn up this.
00:01:48.660 I personally listen to Cat Williams' podcast
00:01:51.760 with my fiancée and kid in the car,
00:01:54.160 so that obviously started a bit of a fight.
00:01:57.120 So that's how things go.
00:01:58.600 You know, you got to be careful what you're listening to
00:02:00.820 when you're around people who could be easily upset
00:02:05.140 by the fact that you have a sense of humor.
00:02:07.780 So a lot of people don't like that now.
00:02:09.760 If you have a sense of humor, people are mad.
00:02:12.340 You know, you ever in line at the bank and you make a joke
00:02:14.860 and then people are like, why would you make that joke?
00:02:17.020 It's like, because I'm trying to pass the time
00:02:19.440 and enjoy my life.
00:02:20.880 What are you doing?
00:02:21.920 What are you doing here?
00:02:23.400 Oh, well, I just have to...
00:02:24.600 You're annoying. 0.84
00:02:25.980 Nobody likes you. 0.88
00:02:28.040 I mean, we need to go back to just bullying people in public,
00:02:33.820 I think.
00:02:34.500 I think we need to be able to bully people in lines.
00:02:37.960 Like, if you're at the grocery store...
00:02:39.780 Like, the other day I was in the elevator and the doors open.
00:02:42.640 I'm with my kid, my girl, and this woman wants to come in 1.00
00:02:46.900 with a mask on and I'm like, excuse me, are you sick? 0.99
00:02:49.540 You're sick. 1.00
00:02:50.360 Okay, don't come on the fucking elevator. 1.00
00:02:52.500 Okay, just stay there. 1.00
00:02:54.320 Wait for the next one.
00:02:55.860 That's the one good thing that happened during the pandemic 1.00
00:02:58.640 and with COVID is that now you can be a real asshole 0.99
00:03:01.340 about elevators, right? 0.99
00:03:03.100 You can get in an elevator and just say, yeah, I don't want you to get in.
00:03:09.360 Sorry. 0.91
00:03:10.360 Is it because I'm black? 1.00
00:03:11.420 No, it's because you're wearing a mask and you're black. 1.00
00:03:17.320 No, I'm just kidding. 0.99
00:03:18.200 Black people don't really wear masks unless they're doing crimes. 1.00
00:03:21.840 They don't do it for safety. 0.99
00:03:25.200 Look, it's a big world out there.
00:03:29.540 It's a big world.
00:03:30.380 It's bigger than North America.
00:03:31.820 It's bigger than this bubble of woke people.
00:03:35.100 You go to any third world country, they don't have woke. 0.71
00:03:39.280 Woke is a luxury, right?
00:03:42.220 And the funniest thing about woke is that it's fake.
00:03:45.100 It's not real.
00:03:47.220 Nobody really thinks these things.
00:03:48.860 Like in Canada, for instance, they try to say land back.
00:03:52.780 We're going to give the land back to the natives. 1.00
00:03:54.960 And the natives are like, really? 0.99
00:03:56.400 And they're like, no.
00:03:57.120 We just make T-shirts and make Facebook posts about it.
00:04:02.260 We're not actually going to do anything for you.
00:04:05.160 That's kind of how it is.
00:04:06.280 Like, oh, we're going to help black people in Canada. 0.63
00:04:08.760 They were going to help black people.
00:04:09.720 They did a black business loan. 0.95
00:04:11.300 You can get $500,000 if you're black. 0.53
00:04:13.820 Now, yeah, so every black business now owes $500,000 to the government plus interest. 0.92
00:04:18.740 And now they're all out of business.
00:04:20.360 So how did that work out?
00:04:27.400 Right?
00:04:27.820 Remember that? 0.82
00:04:29.180 Support a black business on Uber Eats.
00:04:32.180 And then you'd click it.
00:04:34.080 You'd look at the place.
00:04:35.020 You're like, I don't know if I want to eat there.
00:04:36.560 Be honest.
00:04:39.240 Right?
00:04:39.640 It'd be funny if you pressed it and it was just KFC.
00:04:42.520 It was just Popeye's and KFC.
00:04:43.860 The black menu on Uber Eats.
00:04:51.140 No, it's really exciting.
00:04:54.340 I've had a couple viral clips go up on my Instagram recently.
00:04:59.920 Some stand-up.
00:05:01.480 We had the Stephen Hawking video.
00:05:03.940 People are loving it.
00:05:04.700 We're bringing back comedy, baby.
00:05:06.340 I'm doing it pretty much by myself.
00:05:09.280 I mean, I got a team with me, but I'm leading the charge.
00:05:12.760 Okay, I bought this today.
00:05:14.380 I wanted to, you know, I just feel like this is swag.
00:05:19.000 I got another cool opportunity I want to tell you guys about.
00:05:22.500 I'm going to be going on Fox News.
00:05:24.760 You may have already seen the clips.
00:05:26.820 You might be listening to this after I was already on Fox News.
00:05:29.500 So hopefully I didn't bomb.
00:05:31.520 But I think I bought this to go on.
00:05:33.400 I bought this not knowing I was going to go on Fox News.
00:05:36.700 And then I went home and I got an email from my new agent, by the way.
00:05:41.940 I shout out JJ at 33 and West.
00:05:46.860 2024 is off to a good start, folks.
00:05:49.620 And I'm hoping it is for you, too.
00:05:52.060 I honestly am.
00:05:53.100 I hope that you're having a good year.
00:05:54.720 I think a lot of people are having a good year.
00:05:56.420 I think we're realizing that society is not going to end.
00:06:01.060 Right?
00:06:01.380 Everybody's worried 2023.
00:06:02.780 Oh, my God.
00:06:03.200 Everything's messed up.
00:06:04.340 I think we're on the way up.
00:06:07.720 We're on the mend.
00:06:10.040 Society is going to, you know, for us, I think the rest of the world is all going to go downhill.
00:06:15.040 Right?
00:06:15.460 All those countries joining bricks.
00:06:17.460 You know, bricks.
00:06:18.840 It's like the new currency, you know, for Russia and Iran.
00:06:23.280 And oh, yeah, those countries.
00:06:24.500 Yeah, that's where I want to put my money. 1.00
00:06:26.560 In fucking Tehran. 1.00
00:06:27.900 You're fucking out of your mind. 1.00
00:06:31.600 The U.S. dollar is strong. 1.00
00:06:34.400 It doesn't even matter how much of it they print. 0.99
00:06:37.860 Because it's still worth more than a fucking Iranian $2 bill or whatever the fuck they got. 0.99
00:06:45.720 I don't know what Iran has. 0.99
00:06:47.500 Nobody does.
00:06:49.100 Somebody told me they had subways in Iran.
00:06:51.380 I'm picturing like dirt, like a dirt tunnel.
00:06:55.680 But that's not what it is. 1.00
00:06:56.860 They got like high-tech shit. 0.99
00:06:58.040 So maybe we should be worried. 0.99
00:06:59.620 I don't know.
00:06:59.920 All I know is that the Hooties. 0.92
00:07:02.980 Like imagine being actually afraid of something called a Hootie. 0.94
00:07:07.160 Hootie? 1.00
00:07:08.520 Hootie sounds like one of the names of, you know, one of the fucking fake animals in the cartoons my kid watches. 0.99
00:07:15.820 Oh, it's Hootie in the booty. 1.00
00:07:19.060 I'm not worried about no Hootie. 1.00
00:07:22.300 If you're worried about Hooties, man. 0.99
00:07:24.040 Maybe if you were on a cargo ship going through there, you'd be like, fuck, the Hooties might come. 1.00
00:07:32.000 But I'm okay with it. 0.98
00:07:33.080 I'm okay with all of the ships bypassing that area.
00:07:36.560 Let's go around the, you know, the Horn of Africa.
00:07:40.220 Let's pollute more. 1.00
00:07:42.560 See what happens.
00:07:43.520 Maybe things will get better.
00:07:46.680 Maybe that's the reason that global warming was happening was because we were having too many ships go through the Strait of Hormuz. 0.97
00:07:52.020 So what we really need is some Hootie rebels up in this bitch to defend climate change. 1.00
00:07:58.360 That's really what the Hootie rebels are doing. 0.99
00:08:00.340 The Hootie rebels are enforcing climate policy. 0.99
00:08:05.080 They're saying, if you can't bring your cargo ship with that oil tanker shit around here, we're going to fire a couple Greta Thunbergs at you. 0.99
00:08:12.760 You know what I mean? 0.99
00:08:13.300 So straight up, like shout out to the Hooties for keeping the world clean. 1.00
00:08:22.720 That's a joke. 0.88
00:08:23.420 That's a funny joke because everybody brings those signs to the Palestine protests with the Jew star in the trash. 0.98
00:08:30.240 Keep the world clean. 0.94
00:08:31.280 It's like, are you anti-Semitic?
00:08:32.680 No.
00:08:33.120 The one thing I will say about the Israel thing is like, you know, even Jews now are like, okay, we need to wrap it up. 0.99
00:08:45.060 Like, you know, it feels like at the beginning, Jews were gung-ho, like defending Israel. 0.89
00:08:50.400 And even now, everybody's just like, maybe we should just wrap her up.
00:08:55.360 Get it done.
00:08:56.340 I don't know how many more months we can have these Palestinians not drinking Starbucks. 1.00
00:09:03.500 You know what I mean?
00:09:05.040 What was the amount of Palestinians that were ever drinking Starbucks?
00:09:08.960 Was that like a high number?
00:09:10.780 Apparently they destroyed the stock, right?
00:09:14.980 Or did the stock plummet by like 4 billion because Muslims stopped drinking Starbucks? 1.00
00:09:21.300 Because every time I met a Muslim person before this shit, like if you were to be like, you want to go to Starbucks? 1.00
00:09:29.120 They'd be like, oh, they're very expensive, too expensive. 1.00
00:09:31.400 Like, they're more of a Dunkin' Donuts, Tim Hortons level.
00:09:39.560 Is that racist to say?
00:09:41.580 Ben Bankus caught doing racist rant about why Muslims truly could never afford Starbucks in the first place.
00:09:51.300 Is this caramel macchiato, what's it called?
00:09:55.300 Haram?
00:09:55.880 No.
00:09:57.220 What's the word when they bless it?
00:09:59.740 Halal. 0.65
00:10:01.640 I think that they need more Muslim slogans.
00:10:06.180 Or they just do like a Muslim version of the Starbucks cup, right? 0.94
00:10:14.060 People in Dubai like Starbucks.
00:10:15.740 I feel like they didn't boycott it, did they?
00:10:17.820 They were still drinking it.
00:10:19.080 But I'm pretty sure Americans love Starbucks.
00:10:25.500 Like, certain Starbucks actually sell alcohol.
00:10:28.160 Do they not?
00:10:28.620 Like, you can get like a Bailey's in your Starbucks coffee in certain places. 1.00
00:10:34.620 So I think that basically what I'm trying to say is that boycotting anything is fucking gay. 1.00
00:10:45.040 It's just so gay to just be like, I don't know, I'm boycotting that right now. 1.00
00:10:49.700 No matter what it is. 0.98
00:10:51.460 No matter what it is. 0.89
00:10:52.300 I mean, even with the Bud Light thing, it was kind of gay. 1.00
00:10:55.260 Like, Dylan Mulvaney made everybody gayer because now everybody's like, I'm not going to drink Bud Light. 0.76
00:11:01.760 It's like, that's kind of gay to say no to a Bud Light. 0.97
00:11:04.380 I know that it was trans that made it gay, but I'm not all for that. 1.00
00:11:12.180 You know, I drank Bud Light pretty much all the way through that crisis.
00:11:16.200 That was a global marketing crisis.
00:11:21.220 And I continued to drink Bud Light.
00:11:24.480 Maybe I should be ashamed to say that.
00:11:28.280 Maybe people are going to be mad at me.
00:11:29.720 Like, how could you do that? 1.00
00:11:32.280 Same reason, you know, just like there's probably Muslims out there fucking drinking aroma or going to the Jewish Community Center. 1.00
00:11:43.240 A lot of Muslims at the Jewish Community Center actually have recently noticed. 0.99
00:11:46.420 And I think it's a, you know, I hate to say it, but I feel like they're colonizing it a bit.
00:11:52.380 The only time I ever boycotted something in my life was I boycotted Muslims. 1.00
00:12:03.760 No, I've never boycotted.
00:12:04.940 I don't think I could boycott anything that I was already doing.
00:12:09.920 You know what I mean?
00:12:10.600 Like, oh, I'm switching from Heinz to French's ketchup. 0.99
00:12:14.820 Like, you know, these, I don't give a shit. 0.99
00:12:18.820 Most smart people don't give a shit about anything other than how do I continue living and having a family and make sure they have money. 1.00
00:12:30.060 You know, all these fake academics now, all these people pretending like they're smart because they have a degree in, you know, trans dogs or whatever the fuck they got. 0.99
00:12:40.440 But, you know, if you have a degree and you don't own a house, you're not smart. 1.00
00:12:46.140 I'm telling you right now. 1.00
00:12:47.740 And I don't own a house, so I'm fucking retarded. 0.98
00:12:50.280 But I'm sitting here telling you that anybody who owns property doesn't matter if you have a degree. 0.99
00:12:59.280 You're smarter just on a biological level than anybody with a degree in anything, right?
00:13:06.880 Like, there's people who went to Harvard University and now they can never get a job as a lawyer because they were screaming free Palestine instead of studying for the bar exam. 0.93
00:13:19.120 Is that really where we're at now?
00:13:21.820 I think I could get into Harvard University.
00:13:24.900 I honestly do.
00:13:25.720 You know what I'm going to do?
00:13:26.700 I'm going to sign up.
00:13:27.820 I'm going to apply.
00:13:29.280 I'm going to send them my references.
00:13:31.260 They're going to be Hitler, Abu Bakr, al-Baghdadi, and who's that other guy? 0.92
00:13:37.860 Osama bin Laden.
00:13:38.960 He's been really popular recently.
00:13:40.900 So I'm going to have them as my references.
00:13:42.720 And then on my cover letter, I'm just going to say, death to America.
00:13:45.940 And that's it.
00:13:47.620 And I'm going to get in.
00:13:48.800 And I'm going to be a lawyer in Boston, only representing Boston bombers.
00:13:56.460 Those are the only people I'm going to represent.
00:14:01.780 No, I think being funny is on the way back.
00:14:10.660 Just like people are sick of, including liberals, are sick of pretending like nothing's funny.
00:14:16.820 Like, how long can you do that for?
00:14:20.140 You know what I mean?
00:14:20.740 Like, have you ever been in a work meeting where something funny happens and you're trying to pretend like it's not funny because it's inappropriate or, you know, somebody's fly was open or, you know, whatever it is.
00:14:32.020 You're trying to not make it a big deal.
00:14:34.520 For how long? 0.99
00:14:36.220 Until as long as it until that fucking meeting's over. 1.00
00:14:38.860 Then you go right to your best friend. 0.99
00:14:40.140 And you go, did you see that guy's fucking fly was over the whole time? 1.00
00:14:42.620 What the fuck? 1.00
00:14:43.720 You know, or whatever it is. 1.00
00:14:45.520 Or did you see that Chinese guy who had a weird French accent for number? 0.85
00:14:49.160 Whatever it is.
00:14:51.960 You're going to laugh eventually.
00:14:53.840 I tell that to my audiences sometimes.
00:14:56.060 Sometimes I do one of my best jokes in a different room.
00:14:59.200 And the audience is laughing, but they're not fully engaged with the joke.
00:15:04.120 And I tell them, just give yourself about two hours after the show. 0.95
00:15:07.980 You're going to look back and go, that was fucking the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. 0.99
00:15:11.480 I should have laughed harder, but I didn't because I work for, you know, Wells Fargo or whatever the fuck company that you work for that's woke. 0.98
00:15:22.300 I think companies are going to stop being woke because they've realized that none of the woke employees are good, right? 0.96
00:15:29.260 Like nobody hires a woke employee and goes, this guy's good, right? 0.63
00:15:34.320 The only good employees are the non-woke employees and they have to like hide them from the rest of the office.
00:15:39.880 Like they have to be like, oh, that's Jeremy.
00:15:41.680 He's our biggest, highest performer.
00:15:43.620 Yeah, he's a little offensive.
00:15:45.700 You know, there's always a, there's always a pre, you know, they got to, they got to warn you about the guy who's actually good at your, his job and tell you that he's, you know, he's a little prickly.
00:15:57.720 No, he's funny. 0.97
00:16:00.180 He's fucking funny. 0.99
00:16:01.320 People who are good at their jobs are fucking funny. 0.99
00:16:03.200 That's why this whole woke movement is slowing the economy down because you have a bunch of losers who have no sense of humor who all they're worried about is, is, is, oh, I don't know if that was appropriate. 0.98
00:16:15.700 You know what would be appropriate? 0.99
00:16:16.900 If you fucking worked harder and you, you maybe laughed once in a while. 0.98
00:16:21.060 Has, can we do that? 0.99
00:16:23.960 It's getting too woke.
00:16:25.080 There's, there is, I was on a, uh, you know, I was on an elliptical machine at the Jewish community center and there's like a gay guy with his like female friend.
00:16:36.680 They're both like 22 and she's like talking about, she's like, yeah, and I found it really offensive.
00:16:41.360 And then I made him apologize to me and then I wrote like a three page comment and then the guy, and then her gay friends like, did anybody interact with the comment?
00:16:49.320 And she's like, no, I'm like these, like, if that's your life, I'm not saying to end it.
00:16:56.640 I'm saying maybe go to like, uh, a rave, go do a bunch of, um, you know, psychedelics or something.
00:17:05.800 You can't go through life like that.
00:17:07.700 And even the people on my, you know, people like, I love when people argue on my, in my comments, we need that.
00:17:14.700 It's good for the algorithm, right?
00:17:15.900 I appreciate it.
00:17:16.780 I appreciate when you're arguing. 1.00
00:17:18.240 I like when you're fucking telling people that, you know, you fuck you, you fat piece of shit. 1.00
00:17:23.460 Fuck. 1.00
00:17:23.780 And it's just, I'm just reading this like, well, the kids are having fun. 1.00
00:17:27.180 I like that. 0.98
00:17:28.740 But if you're doing that, you might be retarded a little bit, right? 1.00
00:17:34.000 Maybe your 2024 isn't going that well, which I feel bad about. 0.59
00:17:40.020 I want, I want it to go well for you, but maybe lay off the Instagram comments. 0.99
00:17:45.440 That shit will come. 0.99
00:17:45.920 I mean, I've been there. 1.00
00:17:46.780 I've been, I've been in the comment war years ago and I've learned from it. 0.99
00:17:51.220 I've learned that there's no point in, in fucking arguing like that. 0.92
00:17:55.700 I don't know if you guys saw this. 0.98
00:17:57.220 Uh, this is Taylor Swift getting upset at Joe Coy, um, uh, at the Golden Globes.
00:18:04.700 So let's, let's take a look at that.
00:18:06.220 Uh, the big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL on the Golden Globes.
00:18:11.160 We have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift.
00:18:14.060 I swear.
00:18:15.200 There's just more to go to here.
00:18:17.700 Sorry about that.
00:18:18.940 Wow.
00:18:20.360 See, this is what I'm talking about with people who have no sense of humor. 0.99
00:18:23.100 It's because of fucking people see what I'm talking about with people with no sense of 0.99
00:18:27.720 humor. 1.00
00:18:28.000 It's because of people like Taylor Swift. 0.79
00:18:30.260 Taylor Swift is an unfunny, uninteresting, for the most part, unattractive. 0.55
00:18:38.140 I mean, if you like, she looked to me, she looks like a zoo animal. 0.63
00:18:41.200 When I look at her, like she has a face of like one of the characters from Madagascar.
00:18:45.480 You know what I mean?
00:18:46.200 She looks like a half human, half animal hybrid made in a laboratory in Wuhan, China. 0.88
00:18:50.780 She looks slightly animal.
00:18:54.720 Like her face has like, you know what I mean?
00:18:56.620 She looks like a little tiger or something.
00:18:58.720 Like she's not, I don't know. 1.00
00:19:01.180 And I know she's fucking the dude in the NFL who keeps losing. 1.00
00:19:05.960 Right? 1.00
00:19:07.200 I would lose too.
00:19:08.380 I mean, I don't even like performing with my girlfriend in the audience. 0.99
00:19:11.120 Sorry, my fiance, whatever the fuck. 0.95
00:19:15.680 Right? 0.98
00:19:16.140 I don't even like performing with my fiance in the audience. 1.00
00:19:18.240 This guy's got to go play football with Taylor Swift who doesn't crack a smile, doesn't fuck. 1.00
00:19:24.760 Oh, she smiles. 1.00
00:19:25.820 Yeah.
00:19:26.120 Not if you make fun.
00:19:27.480 She's not a real person is what I'm trying to say.
00:19:31.540 And I don't hate Taylor Swift.
00:19:33.100 I'll be honest.
00:19:34.380 I don't like, cause I don't listen to her music.
00:19:36.520 Like if I did listen to her music, I'd hate her.
00:19:38.520 Like if anybody's like, oh, you want to listen to Taylor Swift?
00:19:40.340 I'm like, this is Taylor Swift.
00:19:41.340 Like for the, Joe Coy could have went so much harder, obviously at the Golden Globes.
00:19:49.820 And obviously that's the deal with that type of job, right? 0.99
00:19:53.720 You can't say the craziest shit ever, especially after the whole Chris Rock fiasco. 0.98
00:19:59.260 So I think it would have been, I think Taylor should have actually got up out of her chair 1.00
00:20:03.540 and maybe had gone and gave Joe Coy a nice little slap in the face, which might've made
00:20:08.780 Joe Coy come to be honest.
00:20:13.500 Yeah.
00:20:14.040 So that, that's, that's that.
00:20:20.960 What was the other thing?
00:20:21.960 I listened to the Cat Williams interview.
00:20:28.280 I thought it was very interesting.
00:20:31.460 I think he's a genius, uh, for real.
00:20:34.740 And I like him just chirping everybody.
00:20:37.240 And it's, it's nice to be at that stage, right?
00:20:39.680 Where you're like, look, I've sold out millions of tickets.
00:20:43.180 I have millions of fans.
00:20:44.340 I'm doing Netflix.
00:20:45.700 Hell yeah. 0.99
00:20:46.360 I'm going to set the record straight and talk shit about these people. 0.99
00:20:49.020 And, you know, I do that now with, you know, a hundred K. 0.99
00:20:53.360 Oh, that's a big celebration.
00:20:54.620 We forgot to celebrate that.
00:20:56.540 Guys, we have a celebration right now on the podcast.
00:21:00.300 Um, myself have, uh, Ben Bankus.
00:21:03.440 That's my name.
00:21:04.960 We're at a hundred K on Instagram, officially a hundred and one thousand as of right now.
00:21:11.040 So thank you to all my new fans, followers.
00:21:14.920 Um, come to the USA, baby. 0.93
00:21:18.800 We're coming to the USA.
00:21:19.920 So, so get excited for that.
00:21:21.760 Um, but the Cat Williams interview made me realize that the Cat Williams was the first
00:21:30.600 person to say, live your life every day.
00:21:33.600 Like it's your last, but actually articulated what that means, you know, to actually be like,
00:21:39.100 if you act like sit down right now and go, what am I doing today?
00:21:42.540 How is this the life I want to, are these the people I want to surround myself with?
00:21:46.300 Are these, is this, are these the situations I want to put myself through?
00:21:50.720 And it really made me realize, uh, a couple of things that I, you know, I want to move
00:21:57.000 to Mexico and leave my wife and kid.
00:21:59.320 Uh, I mean, he does have, he has five, he has 10 kids or something.
00:22:04.460 And like none of the kids, moms live with them. 0.98
00:22:07.420 He just lives with a bunch of random women. 0.97
00:22:10.440 He adopted seven kids, which is a little, you know, that's, I mean, he's a good guy for
00:22:17.060 that.
00:22:17.340 Right.
00:22:17.800 Like it's wild. 0.93
00:22:19.420 I feel like not a lot of black people do that. 0.65
00:22:21.800 Are all the kids black though?
00:22:25.320 Yeah. 0.94
00:22:26.060 See, if I was black, like you can adopt black kids and then people are just like, oh, those 1.00
00:22:29.540 are your kids. 0.97
00:22:29.960 Right.
00:22:30.140 You're like, they're adopted.
00:22:31.000 You're like, yeah, they kind of look like you, but if you're white and you get adopted
00:22:34.860 kids that are black, people are like, that's definitely not your kid. 1.00
00:22:37.580 So I think that's an easier way.
00:22:39.180 Like if I was to adopt, I think I'd just, I'd find a white possibly just so they kind of 1.00
00:22:43.540 blend in.
00:22:44.020 You wouldn't know that they weren't mine.
00:22:45.180 Um, or, or a Chinese, I would go more for a Chinese, I think as an adopted than a black 0.98
00:22:51.620 kid, just, uh, you know, just based on the statistics.
00:22:58.580 Dave Chappelle's special was incredible.
00:23:00.600 I also watched that and, um, you know, I liked it.
00:23:05.800 And I think that Dave, Dave allows also for people to speak to their minds really on stage
00:23:14.780 because he's doing it at the highest level and people see that and realize that that's
00:23:20.880 possible.
00:23:21.400 And, and, and, you know, freedom of speech is, is, is a real thing.
00:23:24.820 Now, do I agree with everything Dave Chappelle stands for thinks feels no.
00:23:28.840 Can I still find him funny?
00:23:30.340 Yes.
00:23:30.800 And I think that that is a lesson to everybody, including liberals that, Hey, maybe there's
00:23:35.960 a conservative quote unquote, conservative comedian that I like, you know, I'm considered
00:23:41.180 conservative, even though it's like, well, I think I'm just funny, but I guess it's 0.97
00:23:44.760 I guess if I'm, you know, unless I'm making fun of the patriarchy and fucking, you know, 0.94
00:23:49.360 trying to, trying to raise up the, the indigenous community or whatever the hell that I'm, I'm, 0.96
00:23:54.860 I'm, I'm a racist bigot on the right wing, which to be honest is probably the better way
00:24:01.800 to make money right now.
00:24:03.260 You know what I mean?
00:24:04.080 I'm not, you know, all the liberals who work at Starbucks, well, I guess they quit Starbucks
00:24:10.520 because it's pro genocide now, all the liberals who work minimum wage jobs, they don't have
00:24:16.560 money to go see Dave Chappelle, right?
00:24:21.540 A lot of the people are going to see Dave Chappelle might even disagree with Dave Chappelle, but
00:24:25.320 they're, they, they're probably right wing.
00:24:27.840 Those are the people who can afford $400 seats.
00:24:31.280 Right?
00:24:34.120 The people who make money.
00:24:37.180 Now, of course, Taylor Swift, for instance, she's responsible for making a whole generation
00:24:42.080 of women broke by essentially them spending all their money on her tickets because her tickets 1.00
00:24:51.640 are so expensive.
00:24:52.420 There's girls out there putting four or $5,000 on credit cards just to get seats to see Taylor 1.00
00:24:57.580 Swift.
00:24:58.020 Dude, come see Ben Bankus.
00:25:03.440 I think that'd be a better show.
00:25:06.280 First of all, you're going to, you're not going to hear anything you've heard before. 0.99
00:25:09.980 Whereas if you go to Taylor Swift, it's just the same bullshit every time. 0.99
00:25:13.360 Is it not? 1.00
00:25:18.380 Like who, shut the, she looks like a fucking giraffe monkey animal hybrid. 1.00
00:25:26.820 Or she's ugly. 1.00
00:25:28.300 She's ugly. 1.00
00:25:29.360 Ugly. 1.00
00:25:29.720 Sorry, it's too far. 1.00
00:25:34.280 I want to see Cat Williams try to fuck Taylor Swift. 1.00
00:25:38.960 Looked like he was climbing up a tree. 1.00
00:25:41.640 I'm coming to your city, USA.
00:25:44.460 The tour is going to happen sometime in the next four months.
00:25:50.460 So we're organizing it right now.
00:25:53.000 You need to stay informed.
00:25:54.740 Click the link below in the description to join my email list.
00:25:59.200 Ben Bankus.com slash join the list.
00:26:01.480 And you will stay up to date on all of the upcoming events that are coming to America.
00:26:08.140 Current live shows.
00:26:12.460 Guys, you can catch me in London, Ontario, January 18th.
00:26:15.760 You can catch me in Windsor, Ontario, January 25th.
00:26:19.040 Waterloo, Ontario, February 3rd.
00:26:21.700 And we sold it out.
00:26:23.460 So we just added a second show, February 2nd in Waterloo, Ontario.
00:26:27.680 Go get tickets to that at Inosante Brewing.
00:26:30.140 We also have tickets available for February 21st in Toronto.
00:26:37.460 That is selling like crazy.
00:26:39.360 It's going to be sold out.
00:26:41.620 It's going to be the last show that we're going to be doing at Yuck Yucks as a big show for the next while.
00:26:51.500 So the next shows, we're planning to do some really big stuff later in 2024.
00:26:57.760 So this is really the last chance Toronto to come and check me out.
00:27:01.920 February 21st, February 22nd, Burlington, same deal.
00:27:06.060 We're not going to be coming back to Burlington, Ontario for a while.
00:27:10.240 Burlington, Vermont, maybe.
00:27:12.100 So go get tickets for that.
00:27:13.680 Also, April, sorry, March 27th.
00:27:20.080 I'm coming to Edmonton, Alberta.
00:27:22.100 Got to go check me out.
00:27:23.440 That's also going to be like the last time that I'm going to do that for a number of months.
00:27:27.220 As we get deep into the U.S.
00:27:30.880 And April 9th or 8th, 10th, 11th and 12th.
00:27:37.200 I'm going to be in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick for LOL Fest as well as the Halifax Yuck Yucks on the Monday, April 8th.
00:27:47.560 So go get tickets for that stuff.
00:27:49.160 BenBankis.com.
00:27:50.780 Love you guys.
00:27:52.460 Enjoy the show.
00:27:53.040 But in Canada, things are pretty bad.
00:27:55.220 And, you know, they're making, they're expanding medical assistance and death to the mentally ill. 0.58
00:28:01.360 So it's pretty much everybody now qualifies.
00:28:05.560 It's kind of messed up if you call into the suicide hotline and they're like, are you mentally ill? 0.60
00:28:12.560 And you're like, yeah.
00:28:13.320 And they're like, all right, you should do it.
00:28:15.520 You know?
00:28:18.920 People need to get excited again.
00:28:22.840 You know?
00:28:25.000 Trudeau doesn't make anybody excited.
00:28:27.240 He just makes people sad.
00:28:30.000 The only people Trudeau gets excited are like Indians in India because they're like, oh, Trudeau is going to bring me to the promised land. 1.00
00:28:38.700 And most of them just get these fake visas.
00:28:40.880 Like they're like, I'm going to Seneca for three years to study Bodinghi.
00:28:44.980 They're not.
00:28:46.560 They're just coming here on a fake visa. 0.55
00:28:50.320 They're doing Uber Eats under an alias.
00:28:52.360 Nobody knows what these dudes' names are.
00:28:54.680 Right?
00:28:55.120 Oh, my Uber Eats driver's name is Rajesh.
00:28:57.960 No, that Rajesh is the guy who owns the car and who looks kind of like that guy.
00:29:04.120 Like that's, I mean, I hate to say it.
00:29:07.000 Indians are using the fact that they kind of look alike to their advantage. 0.99
00:29:11.620 Because it's racist for me to say, oh, Indians look alike. 1.00
00:29:15.140 But then you look at your Uber Eats, you're like, this isn't the motherfucker delivering my food. 1.00
00:29:19.220 They get away with it. 0.99
00:29:20.220 But he's got to take a face scan every day and go, yes, I am Rajesh. 0.99
00:29:24.220 And the AI goes, that's motherfucking Rajesh. 0.98
00:29:28.140 It doesn't know that that's actually Rajiv. 0.99
00:29:32.240 Right?
00:29:32.680 So there's like 15 Uber Eats guys delivering on every Uber Eats account.
00:29:38.580 But I'm excited to go to the U.S. and actually have my food delivered by like Mexicans and white people. 0.99
00:29:44.940 I think that's the majority of Uber Eats. 0.94
00:29:46.540 Maybe it's blacks. 1.00
00:29:47.180 I don't know. 0.90
00:29:47.600 When I was in Austin, it felt like it was mostly white people delivering Uber Eats, which was kind of sad to me.
00:29:54.960 White people, when they deliver Uber Eats, they go a little too above and beyond. 1.00
00:29:59.520 Do you ever notice that? 0.69
00:30:00.440 They're like, oh, I wrapped it and I made it.
00:30:02.700 Just leave it by the door.
00:30:04.720 That's the one thing maybe Indians do better is delivery. 0.99
00:30:08.220 Right?
00:30:09.540 That's the moment when you actually agree with immigration, when the Indian takes the picture of the food in front of your door and sends it to you. 0.52
00:30:16.440 You're like, maybe they do have a place in this country.
00:30:23.400 Look. 0.93
00:30:25.920 Sucks because I'm like half Jewish. 0.93
00:30:27.580 I'm not fully Jewish. 0.94
00:30:28.360 I wish I was fully, you know, like my mom.
00:30:31.660 My mom almost converted for her first husband to Judaism.
00:30:34.680 So I'm almost more Jewish than like she like half converted in the 70s when it was, you know, there was no app to learn the Torah.
00:30:45.300 And she was trying to learn that stuff for her first husband, Romeo.
00:30:48.060 And then my dad, obviously he's Jewish, which, you know, it makes me not Jewish because my mom's not, which is crazy because it wouldn't be like that for any other races or religions. 0.72
00:30:59.380 Right?
00:30:59.780 Like if my dad was Chinese and I looked Chinese, my mom was white, people would be like, oh, are you Chinese?
00:31:07.620 I'd be like, oh, my dad's Chinese.
00:31:08.800 I'd be like, oh, you're not really Chinese. 0.97
00:31:10.880 Nobody says that.
00:31:12.520 But for Jews, if your dad's a Jew, your mom's not, you're not a Jew. 0.87
00:31:16.460 Right?
00:31:16.820 Unless she converts. 1.00
00:31:17.660 I'm going to have to explain all this shit to like a Hamas operative as they have a gun to my head at the Eden Center Mall during the protest outside of the fucking Zara. 1.00
00:31:29.720 I personally want to fully convert to Judaism. 0.99
00:31:32.940 Once I get to the USA, I want to get a proper rabbi and really do it right. 0.97
00:31:38.600 The reason I want to convert is I just see a lot of investment opportunity in North Gaza right now.
00:31:43.960 And I'm looking at the, I'm looking at, you know, all the woke people are seeing the rubble in Gaza.
00:31:51.980 All the woke people are seeing the rubble in Gaza and going, that's horrible.
00:31:56.060 That's genocide.
00:31:56.900 I'm looking at it going, that's an investment opportunity.
00:32:00.660 That's a pre-construction project.
00:32:03.260 I'm trying to get my name on a list. 1.00
00:32:05.900 So if I have to go to a rabbi first so that he can sign off and go, this motherfucker is Jewish. 1.00
00:32:12.440 I will move to North Gaza on a whim. 1.00
00:32:15.780 I don't care if I'm the only house.
00:32:20.180 I'm trying to open my own kibbutz.
00:32:21.880 You know what I mean?
00:32:23.320 No.
00:32:24.460 A lot of my fans would find that haram.
00:32:27.060 I had a Muslim guy fan come to, I have a few Muslim fans, but there was one guy who came, I think, by himself to a show on New Year's.
00:32:39.340 And after the show, he was like, yo, that was haram, bro.
00:32:43.360 Like, that was haram, Dougie.
00:32:45.180 And I was like, I know, but you loved it, didn't you? 0.99
00:32:47.720 You fucking love it. 1.00
00:32:49.440 It's also haram to get pussy if you're not married. 1.00
00:32:51.800 It's haram to drink. 1.00
00:32:53.320 It's haram. 1.00
00:32:54.060 He was doing a lot of haram shit that night, too. 1.00
00:32:56.960 Let's be honest. 0.99
00:32:57.720 So I had another Muslim fan that messaged me from my Toronto show, and I gave him free tickets because he messaged me and told me he was going through tough times and all this stuff.
00:33:13.200 And his name was, like, Khaled or something, so I was, I thought it was a trick.
00:33:17.840 Like, I thought he was trying to trick me into getting tickets so he could bypass security and come in and do a bit of a jihad.
00:33:24.860 But he was actually a nice kid, big fan of mine, listens to the podcast.
00:33:32.080 Shout out.
00:33:33.120 I hope his name is Khaled, because I might forget.
00:33:35.540 I like that, though. 0.96
00:33:37.620 I like meeting Muslim fans who are just like, I fucking love it. 0.97
00:33:40.840 Like, sorry. 0.98
00:33:41.700 I don't know what to do.
00:33:42.740 I know it's not supposed to laugh, but I'm laughing.
00:33:46.580 That's what real comedy is.
00:33:49.960 Real comedy is when you laugh not because you're choosing to laugh.
00:33:55.840 You can't choose to find things funny.
00:33:59.700 Funny is a reaction to something that happened or something that you saw or something that was said.
00:34:04.280 But it's not a choice, just like being gay. 0.96
00:34:14.000 It's not a choice.
00:34:15.600 Being trans, that might be a choice.
00:34:19.000 Gay, hit or miss, we don't know yet. 1.00
00:34:22.820 I don't know. 0.96
00:34:23.180 Maybe go to a conversion therapy in Florida if it doesn't work.
00:34:27.080 Maybe it's... 0.65
00:34:31.080 That would suck to put yourself in conversion therapy.
00:34:34.220 Do people do that? 1.00
00:34:34.960 We're like, fuck, I need to... 1.00
00:34:36.460 They're just taking a dick in the ass, and it's like having to go to rehab. 1.00
00:34:40.540 They're like, fuck, I gotta go back to conversion therapy. 1.00
00:34:42.500 This is not working. 1.00
00:34:43.980 I am still gay.
00:34:47.300 Everybody's talking about Epstein Island.
00:34:48.880 I think that it was kind of a nice place, that people were just trying to just unwind, right?
00:35:00.380 Is that so bad that, you know, Obama wanted to unwind?
00:35:06.520 Did he go?
00:35:07.780 Nobody knows. 0.99
00:35:08.440 Bill Clinton, I feel like Bill Clinton's eyes gets smaller, like every kid that he fucks, 0.99
00:35:18.600 like slowly his eyes are just getting smaller and smaller. 0.98
00:35:21.400 I don't know why they're also sinking into his head, kind of similar to Olivia Chow.
00:35:25.960 I think it'd be funny if Olivia Chow went to Epstein Island. 1.00
00:35:29.400 You know, he's like, oh, I went to Epstein Island.
00:35:31.280 Yeah, I don't think, I don't think anything bad is going to come of the old Epstein thing.
00:35:50.240 I think they're going to sweep it under the rug pretty good.
00:35:52.760 They already are, because people are freaking out about it, and they're like,
00:35:55.300 they're all going there to be pedophiles, and then like, Bill Clinton's just like,
00:35:59.060 what are you going to do, kid?
00:36:03.940 Hey, I prevented the Kosovo war. 0.68
00:36:07.920 Didn't he?
00:36:08.540 Or did he go in there and bomb?
00:36:09.700 I forget.
00:36:11.920 Look, I think the Epstein thing is bad.
00:36:17.020 Obviously Epstein, he was Jewish, so he was good at what he did, 0.99
00:36:21.480 and that's what he should be remembered for, being good at what he did.
00:36:29.060 There's a lot of people online, too.
00:36:35.700 They're like, imagine it was your kid on Epstein Island,
00:36:38.720 and then you're like, so you're saying, imagine I had $15 million in the bank?
00:36:44.180 Because I think that's what they were charging for kid.
00:36:46.280 Am I wrong here?
00:36:48.700 Your kid was on Epstein Island?
00:36:50.140 Yeah, they also went to Yale for free.
00:36:52.940 What about yours?
00:36:54.200 Will they go to community college?
00:36:55.420 I'm joking.
00:37:00.800 Obviously, it's bad.
00:37:01.600 They had to give a few massages. 1.00
00:37:03.260 Yeah, they had to do a little, you know.
00:37:07.740 They rubbed Clinton's neck. 1.00
00:37:11.660 You rubbed Clinton's clit for a chance to get into Harvard University. 1.00
00:37:16.540 Now all you have to do is write a cover letter about Osama bin Laden, 0.99
00:37:20.340 so I really miss the Rissa Mark.
00:37:25.060 I don't know enough about, all I know is that the Epstein thing is essentially,
00:37:31.400 look, it's all these celebrities that you knew were doing bad things
00:37:34.800 are now being exposed for doing the bad things that we already knew they did,
00:37:38.280 and it's like, yeah.
00:37:39.420 And then what's going to happen?
00:37:40.580 Nothing.
00:37:40.940 So, look, I'm on Team Ellen DeGeneres.
00:37:46.660 I want to get on that show, dude. 0.99
00:37:48.060 I don't give a fuck. 0.99
00:37:49.680 I don't know what Ellen did, but, girl, holler at your boy. 1.00
00:37:55.720 You know what I mean?
00:37:57.340 You like that mink? 1.00
00:37:58.720 This isn't mink, though.
00:37:59.860 This is Kith.
00:38:01.980 Do you guys know Kith?
00:38:02.920 It's a new store.
00:38:04.960 They just opened one in Toronto.
00:38:05.940 I think they must have them in the U.S.
00:38:07.700 It's kind of like fake.
00:38:09.540 It's like cheap designer.
00:38:10.860 It's like fake designer.
00:38:12.360 It started in New York.
00:38:13.440 Yeah.
00:38:13.900 Oh, it started in New York.
00:38:15.020 It's not that cheap.
00:38:15.880 This wasn't that expensive, though.
00:38:17.820 It's a streetwear.
00:38:18.660 It's a streetwear.
00:38:20.420 We're out here wearing streetwear, doggie.
00:38:22.620 Hillary Clinton liked going to the island.
00:38:24.380 I think she was going to the island just to check out what Bill was up to.
00:38:28.660 You know?
00:38:29.020 That's what women do, right? 1.00
00:38:30.560 They're like, what's this island you keep going to?
00:38:32.640 Huh? 1.00
00:38:32.960 What's this fucking island you keep going to? 1.00
00:38:34.560 You know what? 1.00
00:38:35.300 I'm going to go to the island.
00:38:36.140 I'm going to go see what you're doing at this island.
00:38:38.180 And then she probably went, and then it sounds like she liked it because she kept going back.
00:38:44.820 Bill was sitting there like, see why I'm here so much?
00:38:50.420 Hillary used to be kind of hot, right, at one point. 1.00
00:38:53.760 Now she looks like a senator in the Galactic Republic from motherfucking Star Wars. 1.00
00:38:59.800 But doesn't she? 0.99
00:39:02.840 She looks like Senator Palpatine.
00:39:04.420 She honestly looks like a Star Wars senator.
00:39:09.900 And she's just so, you know, like, I have no problem with the fact, like, she's a historical figure.
00:39:19.020 You know what I mean?
00:39:20.360 But people don't like her. 0.92
00:39:22.160 And she knows that people don't like her.
00:39:23.760 The people who do like Hillary Clinton, nobody likes those people. 1.00
00:39:27.860 Those are the people at the office snitching you out because you made a sexist remark, right?
00:39:34.700 Those are the Hillary supporters.
00:39:37.300 There's nobody fun supporting Hillary Clinton. 0.94
00:39:41.100 Unless they're fun, but then they're secretly bought by the liberals and they have to support her. 0.99
00:39:48.820 Or, you know, nobody really that fun out there going, you know what?
00:39:53.820 Like, are there people drunk who are fun on a night out going, you know what?
00:39:58.520 Hillary's doing, she would do such a good job. 1.00
00:40:00.460 No.
00:40:02.000 No. 0.99
00:40:02.460 The only people saying that are losers. 1.00
00:40:05.100 They're feminist mental patients. 1.00
00:40:07.300 Trump 2024, baby. 1.00
00:40:11.740 I don't know.
00:40:12.320 I don't know about that because I'm Canadian, so I can't vote.
00:40:15.520 And also, people think Trump's going to win.
00:40:19.380 People think Trump's going to be nominated.
00:40:21.160 Maybe he won't.
00:40:22.560 DeSantis could be nominated, right?
00:40:24.700 It's still a possibility, but Trump's probably going to run.
00:40:31.060 Against Joe Biden. 0.99
00:40:32.040 And Joe Biden, just, there's no, like, if I was Joe Biden's age, I would not want to do any of this shit. 0.99
00:40:42.620 You know, it's time to move to Palm Springs, California. 0.99
00:40:47.860 It's time to breathe that desert dry air and just relax. 0.99
00:40:55.980 Maybe go do some old people group activities, you know, when they do old people Pilates and shit. 0.98
00:41:02.500 Or whatever it is. 1.00
00:41:04.660 We don't, we need to stop this crisis of having people who are too old running shit. 1.00
00:41:12.280 Now, I don't think we should have people too young either because they're stupid. 1.00
00:41:16.040 I think you should really only be able to vote from, like, age 30 to 45. 0.99
00:41:21.780 Right?
00:41:22.300 So if you die before you're 30, too bad, you're not voting because you weren't smart enough to make it to 30.
00:41:28.980 Right?
00:41:29.380 And after, after you're, like, 45 years old, like, really, should you be voting?
00:41:36.040 Should you be voting?
00:41:38.040 Maybe 65.
00:41:39.240 Let's raise that a bit.
00:41:40.280 Give them a little more time to vote.
00:41:41.600 But there is a cutoff.
00:41:42.720 Like, there's a certain point where you meet old people and they're so out of touch and you're like, this person is going to vote, though.
00:41:48.780 It's almost like the most out of touch people in our populations are the people who end up voting.
00:41:53.480 It's not even the people who are most informed and most involved.
00:41:56.780 It's the people who are just like, I don't know.
00:41:59.940 Go down there, vote for, vote for Biden again.
00:42:03.100 Oh, I don't really like that Trump.
00:42:06.320 Same thing in Canada.
00:42:10.420 Oh, I'm going to go vote for Justin Trudeau.
00:42:13.500 Oh, well, I think he's doing a good job.
00:42:16.400 In what aspect?
00:42:17.540 Oh, I don't want to talk about it.
00:42:19.260 That person shouldn't be voting.
00:42:23.900 They're 69 years old.
00:42:27.220 They don't know anything.
00:42:28.460 I'm sorry.
00:42:28.940 And maybe this should be the test.
00:42:30.100 It shouldn't be age, but it would should, at 60 or something, they should start going, okay, do you know what's going on?
00:42:38.840 Like, here's a test.
00:42:39.920 Like, who's the prime minister right now?
00:42:41.620 What is he accomplishing?
00:42:42.800 Certain things.
00:42:44.500 Now, is that authoritarian?
00:42:45.920 Maybe.
00:42:46.800 Do I believe in authoritarianism?
00:42:49.760 If it benefits me, I'll be honest.
00:42:52.520 If it made my life better, I'd be down for it.
00:42:56.620 And a lot of people would be too.
00:42:58.180 Now, I don't think that authoritarianism is the answer.
00:43:01.500 Obviously, look at China. 1.00
00:43:03.720 They're fucking eating bats and shit. 1.00
00:43:05.860 It's not working for them. 1.00
00:43:07.780 But I'm just saying, maybe some Roman-esque.
00:43:11.840 I feel like even in Rome, they had certain rules like that.
00:43:14.260 Like, you couldn't vote unless you were this or that.
00:43:16.780 Still a democracy, baby?
00:43:18.160 No?
00:43:18.360 Well, I guess it was more of a republic.
00:43:20.980 But isn't that the same thing?
00:43:22.920 Like, technically, the U.S. is a republic.
00:43:24.760 So, I'm excited.
00:43:30.580 I'm excited to be there in the U.S. 0.97
00:43:33.600 And not, like, my American fans, you don't even understand how fucked up Canada is in the sense that, you know, you guys have a migrant crisis at the border. 0.97
00:43:43.800 We have a migrant crisis at the airport. 0.98
00:43:45.600 They're just flying in here.
00:43:48.220 There's no border fence.
00:43:49.920 There's no, there's no nothing.
00:43:51.760 They're just coming here.
00:43:52.640 I want to, I'm going to work in 7-Eleven. 1.00
00:43:55.420 And then they fucking stay. 0.98
00:43:56.760 Which is fine, because it's good for the economy, right? 1.00
00:44:00.900 Because white people are too busy getting offended online to have enough kids to fucking sustain having white countries forever. 0.99
00:44:09.800 We'll have our, we'll have our areas, you know, the whites. 1.00
00:44:15.900 We got our areas in Canada, shrinking. 0.98
00:44:20.980 But, hey, if you're white and you lose your home, where do you go? 0.52
00:44:24.940 You go to Argentina or something. 0.82
00:44:26.140 It's not that bad, right?
00:44:27.740 You go buy a ranch for 100K, get seven acres in a third world nation, gated. 0.89
00:44:37.220 Just start complaining. 1.00
00:44:38.280 You're just sitting on your private ranch like, fuck it. 1.00
00:44:41.560 Canada just did me wrong. 1.00
00:44:45.600 Maybe they did you right.
00:44:46.640 Maybe that's the whole point of Canada.
00:44:47.840 You're only supposed to live here long enough to get a little bit of money, and then you can move to a third world country.
00:44:52.140 You can move to a Thailand. 0.97
00:44:55.060 Right? 1.00
00:44:55.960 Just fuck Thai hookers and do blow. 1.00
00:45:00.600 Thanks, Canada. 1.00
00:45:02.100 That's the Canadian dream.
00:45:03.200 It's not to stay here and, you know, work the graveyard shift at Rexall Pharmacy.
00:45:12.880 Go make something to yourself.
00:45:14.280 If I can move to an impoverished nation, Africa, start a company.
00:45:22.180 Because a lot of these places, like, you can just move to South America.
00:45:25.020 You can just move to Africa, and they'll just give you, like, citizenship, basically.
00:45:28.640 Because you're like, if I buy a $100,000 house in Costa Rica, you get residency in Costa Rica. 0.88
00:45:36.940 It's nuts.
00:45:37.820 So, the rest of the world wants people there more than the places where everybody's going, obviously.
00:45:46.420 But they want richer people.
00:45:49.240 You know? 1.00
00:45:49.440 Like, you don't see fucking impoverished Southeast Asian immigrants going to Costa Rica, going to Venezuela, going to whatever, Colombian shit. 1.00
00:46:04.220 No, it's all just fucking white bros who are like, dude, I live, like, so close to a Starbucks in Bogota. 1.00
00:46:12.360 That's what it is. 1.00
00:46:13.100 Like, have you ever talked to one of these guys, these guys who live in Latin countries?
00:46:16.940 They literally, all they talk about is how close they are to any American stuff, gated communities.
00:46:23.760 Like, there's, you can live in a gated community with Starbucks in, like, Uruguay, and Starbucks is, like, cheap, and it's the same product.
00:46:33.600 And coffee's better. 0.97
00:46:34.840 It's fucking fresher. 0.96
00:46:35.920 It's from, it's coming from, the beans are coming from there. 0.95
00:46:41.600 So, that might be the future for everybody.
00:46:44.120 I mean, maybe after a couple of American tours, who knows?
00:46:46.720 Maybe I'll go to Uruguay and go on the beach and call it.
00:46:51.780 But, well, women in North America were raised with everything.
00:46:59.340 And, you know, and I think as a father, like, I want to give my daughter everything, too, so that when she meets a dude, she's like, this isn't enough, this isn't enough.
00:47:07.940 So, I'm part of the problem, right?
00:47:12.520 But, you know, you meet a South American woman, she's like, I never had any toys growing up.
00:47:17.720 I only play with little sticks and balls and play with a little stick on the grass.
00:47:23.760 There was no, that's not true. 1.00
00:47:26.860 They have fucking toys. 1.00
00:47:27.680 You guys got toys in Brazil and shit, no? 1.00
00:47:31.840 Shout out to all my UK fans, too. 0.99
00:47:33.600 I got UK and Australia fans.
00:47:35.120 You guys have your own troubles.
00:47:37.040 Because in the UK, it's still, you know, it's still British, but it's more Muslim now. 1.00
00:47:44.680 It's Muslim-British. 0.53
00:47:48.520 But that's what I'm saying.
00:47:50.080 You know, I talk about this in my act, about the Islamic takeover of the West. 1.00
00:47:53.700 It's not going to be that bad. 0.82
00:47:55.500 It's not going to be that bad for white dudes. 0.90
00:47:57.560 I'm telling you right now. 0.85
00:47:58.520 As long as we convert as a white dude, and they go, are you Muslim? 0.99
00:48:02.580 Are you going to be Muslim?
00:48:03.620 And you go, yeah, I'm Muslim now.
00:48:04.940 And they're like, okay, here's the other four wives. 1.00
00:48:07.460 Right?
00:48:08.140 Let's, you know, legal.
00:48:12.260 It's kind of like how people voted for liberals to legalize marijuana.
00:48:16.480 People are going to vote for Muslims to legalize polygamy. 1.00
00:48:21.640 They will. 0.99
00:48:23.300 Mormons will be voting for Muslims. 0.93
00:48:24.860 Because they'll go, this is in my best interest. 1.00
00:48:27.920 Because I'm a motherfucking polygamist. 0.99
00:48:31.400 So, I don't know what to say. 0.99
00:48:34.240 I think polygamy might be the future. 1.00
00:48:37.700 My fiancee will probably be mad about watching this episode. 1.00
00:48:40.360 But for the purposes of comedy, polygamy is the future, folks. 1.00
00:48:45.780 Polygamy.
00:48:48.000 Like, if you say polygamy, if you go in a room of dudes and you go, polygamy, they'll look over.
00:48:53.620 That's all I'm saying.
00:48:54.320 They'll be interested.
00:48:56.420 Because men like that idea.
00:48:59.420 It's not, it wasn't created by women. 1.00
00:49:02.840 You know the real reason they created polygamy? 0.81
00:49:05.280 Was actually kind of a feminist reason. 1.00
00:49:09.240 And the reason was that in Arabia and shit, they had so many wars and so many of the men would die that there was always less men than there were women. 0.99
00:49:18.540 And the men felt bad that, oh, there were so many fucking women on the streets and shit and they know where to live. 1.00
00:49:25.720 You come live with me. 1.00
00:49:26.700 You come live with me.
00:49:27.560 So it was actually more of a humanitarian thing, why there's polygamy. 0.59
00:49:32.380 It was kind of the same reason that people are like, I want to let a refugee live in my house.
00:49:36.380 It was kind of similar to that.
00:49:38.520 And that's another way to solve the refugee crisis.
00:49:42.460 Polygamy.
00:49:43.380 Right?
00:49:43.680 What are we going to do with all these refugees on the street? 1.00
00:49:47.020 Let them live with me.
00:49:50.980 Right? 1.00
00:49:52.340 I'm cooking and building shit all day long. 1.00
00:49:54.700 I'm going to start in Epstein Island, but for Mexicans. 1.00
00:50:03.700 Okay?
00:50:05.000 It's going to be called Home Depot parking lot.
00:50:11.140 That'd be crazy to be like rich enough to just make your house look like a Home Depot.
00:50:15.620 And then only have, and then just tell Mexicans to show up. 0.98
00:50:19.460 Polygamy will solve the environment crisis. 0.88
00:50:22.700 Polygamy will solve the Islamic crisis. 1.00
00:50:27.380 Polygamy will resolve the economy.
00:50:32.880 You don't think the economy is going to start booming if dudes got to provide for five women? 1.00
00:50:41.080 But maybe we could do the North American version of polygamy where all five women work and only the dude stays at home doesn't. 1.00
00:50:47.280 I like that. 1.00
00:50:48.560 That's why I respect black dudes because they'll fucking, 1.00
00:50:50.920 black dudes will have no job. 1.00
00:50:53.480 They'll be on welfare and they'll have like four women that work and basically pay for everything for them. 1.00
00:50:59.720 And those four women are cool that that black dude fucks all four women. 1.00
00:51:03.760 I mean, you want to talk about culture. 0.99
00:51:09.800 That's, you ever listen to the culture, the Migos album?
00:51:14.580 That's what it was about. 0.63
00:51:16.280 About black polygamy. 0.97
00:51:19.680 Polygamy. 0.80
00:51:22.440 Polygamy. 0.99
00:51:22.800 Black people would be cool with that if there was Islamic takeover. 1.00
00:51:28.640 I mean, maybe not the ultra religious Christian ones. 0.98
00:51:32.960 Right?
00:51:33.520 But the ones on the streets. 1.00
00:51:38.020 They'd be like, yo, I got five bitches, man. 1.00
00:51:40.180 She, boy. 0.99
00:51:43.420 Yeah.
00:51:43.860 Well, yeah, we do talk about all that too.
00:51:53.160 Guys, I really appreciate you listening to this episode of The Bankist Show.
00:52:00.540 Guys, I really appreciate you listening to this episode of The Bankist Show.
00:52:03.240 Go and tell your friends about this.
00:52:05.300 Spread the word.
00:52:06.700 Share it in your group chats.
00:52:07.940 This is going to be the show, 2025, 2026.
00:52:13.380 We will be the biggest podcast in the world.
00:52:16.300 And that's my commitment to you guys. 1.00
00:52:20.360 And if you don't believe me, go fuck yourself. 1.00
00:52:23.940 Good night. 1.00
00:52:27.740 Oh, wait.
00:52:28.280 I'll do one more thing.
00:52:31.880 If you guys want to watch an extra podcast every week,
00:52:35.060 I do a bonus episode for my Patreon subscribers.
00:52:39.040 You can subscribe to Patreon at patreon.com slash benbankus.
00:52:43.140 You will get a bonus podcast every week along with bonus stand-up clips,
00:52:47.940 extended videos, personal messages from me, and really anything in between.
00:52:53.700 You guys will have access to chat with me, say what up, shoot me ideas,
00:52:58.080 shoot me clips, shoot me articles that you might want me to reference,
00:53:01.940 talk about in these podcasts.
00:53:03.260 So I really appreciate you guys, and thank you for your support.
00:53:08.280 We'll see you next week.
00:53:12.800 All right.