Based Camp - Baby It's Cold Outside： A Guide To Wholesome Flirting？

00:00:00.000 for our christmas episode right now baby it's cold outside is a guide to dating look like it's yes

00:00:07.220 it's what makes the song even more wholesome is that it was written in 1944 by frank lewiser who

00:00:12.560 was so saying it with his wife lynn so like this is something also that like this is demonstrative

00:00:20.300 by the kind of interplay that led a husband and wife to get married like this is the kind of

00:00:26.060 behavior that leads to lasting long-term pair bonded relationships very interesting if you

00:00:33.020 contrast it with other songs that are that are christmasy like the the two songs that both have

00:00:37.820 the same oh the more modern ones last christmas i gave you my heart and the very next day you gave

00:00:43.880 it away and ariana grande singing you know i don't want to give it all away if you won't be here next

00:00:49.040 year but it's important to remember that the enemy isn't women it's the cultural group that has

00:00:55.400 enforced these norms that have made it impossible to date women would you like to know more

00:01:00.500 did you read that loud enough for me to use it in the recording i can read the thing

00:01:05.840 their troublesome crush by zan west in this queer polyamorous male female romance novella

00:01:15.000 two metamors realize they have crushes on each other while planning their shared partner's birthday

00:01:20.440 party together ernest a jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive

00:01:26.480 and nora a jewish disabled queer fat femme cis woman switch have to contend with an age gap a desire

00:01:33.700 not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamors the fact that ernest has never been

00:01:39.460 attracted to a cis person before and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other

00:01:44.680 all while planning their dominant partner's birthday party and trying to do a really good job

00:01:50.200 so it looks like from the cover the woman is much older than the man obese and with a cane so

00:01:57.260 yeah the cover is i mean i would say the cover is well done in that it seems to be fairly accurate we

00:02:05.320 have the two overweight people dressed in classic i don't know progressive style standing in front of

00:02:15.280 what i believe is a cupcake counter looking extremely awkward and unattractive oh my gosh well here's a

00:02:22.120 reddit thread that really got me when i read it because it aligns with so much of what we've been

00:02:26.060 talking about on the channel yeah oh the 20 year old dating one my 20 year old son doesn't date

00:02:33.140 his friends don't date my friends kids don't date what's going on yeah when i was in my late teens

00:02:39.400 and early 20s life for my friends and me revolved around meeting girls my son and his friends who

00:02:45.420 are athletic and outgoing don't seem to put a lot of emphasis on dating they play a lot of online video

00:02:50.700 games and have boys outing once in a while one will hook up with a random girl they met on an app

00:02:56.400 rarely does one have a girlfriend this seems to be the norm for my friends kids too what's going on

00:03:01.880 well and then when you go through the responses there are some recurring themes a lot of people

00:03:07.220 just say like there's no reason to do it anymore you know there's there's no point other people say

00:03:13.160 that it is too expensive and they can't afford to date anymore or they bemoan the loss of affordable

00:03:20.460 third spaces basically places that aren't your home or your school or work where people can hang out

00:03:26.820 and then a lot of people just talk about like not having game and then one one interesting comment

00:03:32.480 that i thought wasn't was astute was balkanization of cultural touchstones and what they meant by that

00:03:39.300 was that like in the past if you were both into gaming you played like the same three games if you were

00:03:45.880 into anime you watched the same three anime now even if you are into a specific sub-genre like you

00:03:52.700 weren't necessarily into the same thing so there are fewer people who share affinity networks really

00:03:58.560 closely and i question that push back on that one i think that they are because i remember when i was

00:04:03.720 in high school it was all about the bands that you know that no one else knew about or the games that

00:04:08.980 you yeah no one else played it's a dominant hierarchy thing to show how obscure and advanced

00:04:14.980 in a dominance hierarchy that's affiliated with this specific thing it's typically by showing how

00:04:19.380 extremely affiliated you are with that thing and so people would front their dominance hierarchy by

00:04:24.560 pushing that and in this to note this is not like a isolated phenomenon we'll put some graphs on the

00:04:30.460 screen here but the rates of sex that people have been having while they're in high school

00:04:34.620 has been dropping really dramatically over the last people have worked hard to make happen i mean i

00:04:40.460 remember being in high school and they were like the rates of sex are so high i mean mission

00:04:44.360 accomplished yeah mission accomplished no one's having sex anymore there you go um

00:04:48.720 well i mean and and rates it's it's interesting i think our generation sometimes they can look at the

00:04:55.260 younger generation and think of them as so sexually free you know like oh look at all this stuff that's

00:05:00.160 allowed now like i would be allowed to have like 10 girlfriends at once and blah blah blah blah blah

00:05:04.580 when in reality no just nobody's getting anything right like the the the level when we talk about

00:05:10.200 like dating and sex markets being broken because it's not just dating markets it's not just

00:05:13.780 marriage markets it's also sex markets it is it has gotten very hard i think for both males and

00:05:19.620 females and for our christmas episode right now one thing that i was really meditating on in regards

00:05:26.300 to this topic is the song baby it's cold outside because i've been listening to it recently and depending

00:05:34.120 on the intonations and tonality used by the singers like there are ways to sing the song if you really

00:05:40.520 want to make it sound rapey you can do that but generally speaking the song doesn't come off that

00:05:48.800 way at all it comes off just like normal hitting on a girl from the past right and it reminds me very

00:05:56.100 much of like many traditional dating methods mechanisms and mannerisms they're designed around

00:06:02.260 plausible deniability making it more comfortable for people to make advances at partners in a way

00:06:07.800 that one didn't make the other partner feel uncomfortable because they weren't like i'm

00:06:13.560 gonna kiss you right now i want to have sex with you right now instead it is oh gosh i wish you didn't

00:06:18.040 have to go home so that you could all each of you could have plausible deniability and if one person

00:06:23.120 wasn't into it and clearly made signs of rejection of like nope i gotta go home now bye then both could

00:06:28.860 pretend that there was never an advance made and both could pretend that they're happy to be just

00:06:33.640 friends and so that kind of interplay is actually not only like not only especially helpful but also

00:06:41.680 like protective of people's ability to say no it's actually like super it's better than directly asking

00:06:48.200 for consent because you don't have to disappoint someone the same way yeah because then it does hurt

00:06:53.640 somebody when you when you tell them no like that hurts somebody when you drop subtly that you're not

00:07:00.020 interested that doesn't hurt them as much and it allows you to stay friends and allow things to not

00:07:05.280 get awkward there was a reason that relationships worked this way there was a reason that flirting worked

00:07:11.780 through this system of plausible deniability yeah and a lot of people could be like no she's explicitly

00:07:17.640 saying she wants to go and it's like yeah but she's not going it's not like she's being held hostage

00:07:24.000 what they are both telling each other with the words that they're using is i am interested in you

00:07:31.780 yes in that explicit way but i need to see you be the one to say yes i'm interested in you back

00:07:40.520 and what's the the the humor in the song comes from the fact that neither of them is stepping up

00:07:48.280 and just being like yeah i'm actually interested yeah you can hear it's like there's this one line

00:07:55.340 in the song where all your lips taste delicious no no no no gosh your your lips look delicious and

00:08:01.600 then the next thing he says after the female says her part is gosh your lips taste delicious so

00:08:07.020 clearly things are progressing

00:08:08.360 they're already hooking up and that that's the humor they are hooking up while pretending

00:08:18.540 yeah to each other we're all better go home well you should yeah like i better go home i don't know

00:08:25.440 about this what are people gonna think if i stay with a guy like you all night

00:08:32.500 oh my gosh i can't be responsible for my actions anymore what makes the song even more wholesome

00:08:53.660 is that it was written in 1944 by frank lewiser who was so saying it with his wife lynn so like

00:09:01.660 this is something also that like this is demonstrative by the kind of interplay that led

00:09:07.140 a husband and wife to get married like this is the kind of behavior that leads to lasting long-term

00:09:14.440 pair-bonded relationships you know it's not even like this isn't even sung by like a sour like single

00:09:20.880 person you know in their 40s or 50s talking about love lost no no this is about a couple who is

00:09:27.100 happily married who goes to parties and has fun together talking about methodologies that they

00:09:32.640 used when they were courting yeah and it's very interesting if you contrast it with other songs

00:09:37.540 that are that are christmassy like the the two songs that both have the same oh the more modern ones

00:09:42.960 um so what is it one is hold on well i mean there's santa baby the more recent version of this is

00:09:48.680 ariana grande singing santa tell me and then last christmas i think it's wham called last christmas

00:09:56.440 yeah and then the the earlier version of this is last christmas by wham and both of them are like

00:10:02.680 the slutty perpetually single version of bad courting methods i keep sleeping with a different

00:10:08.860 guy every christmas how come this isn't working out for me why is why why is this person not committing

00:10:13.920 to me last christmas i gave you my heart and the very next day you gave it away and ariana grande

00:10:19.520 singing you know i i don't want to give it all away if you won't be here next year which is really

00:10:25.900 interesting and i don't want to do it again again she says in the song that she has done it before

00:10:31.800 so it's not just saying you know i hope that this guy is loyal to me and if these people are dumping

00:10:48.100 them the very next day this is not a long-term relationship christmas i gave you my heart

00:10:54.320 but the very next day you gave it away yeah there's not very much affection demonstrated in

00:11:01.920 these stories which is interesting and that it shows that there is much more wholesomeness and much

00:11:08.180 more affection in the song that is typically seen as being the more like inappropriate of the

00:11:16.140 christmas songs and when they point to lines like baby what's in my drink like or she's saying hey

00:11:24.680 what's in this drink what's in this drink what's in this drink so one in social context of the time

00:11:31.480 period that was a common way to say i'm feeling kind of tipsy i'm feeling like my inhibitions are down

00:11:37.840 like maybe we should do something you you compare it to something my mom used to say all the time your mom

00:11:42.340 used to like have like one glass of wine and be like not gonna lie i'm a little tipsy just to like

00:11:47.860 show that she was in a celebratory mood and that's exactly like this person basically saying i'm down

00:11:52.200 to clown and that's yeah basically saying i'm down to class now let's be clear the the accusation here

00:11:57.680 is she's implying that the drink was spiked with alcohol or that the drink was spiked stronger than

00:12:02.880 she expected but that's worse than alcohol but then she wouldn't be saying what she's saying

00:12:07.840 like it is very clear from contextual clues i wish i knew how your eyes are like starlight

00:12:13.900 when our society's social rules aren't made up by and i'm sorry to say this simone i know you're

00:12:21.200 autistic but autistic idiots who can't catch basic social cues that they see somebody say that in a

00:12:26.800 song and they go oh she's being drugged against her will when really what she's saying is i'm down to

00:12:34.280 clown very obviously and then they'd be like how can you tell the difference and it's because she

00:12:38.860 didn't immediately leave that a sane person who thought that their drink had just been spiked

00:12:44.440 inappropriately is leaving is going to say hey what are you doing like yeah even if they were like oh

00:12:51.220 well she's afraid of the guy in this song and that's why she's not leaving first of all that's this

00:12:56.440 weird progressive feminist fever dream she very clearly has the ability to leave at any point in

00:13:04.640 the song and that is made clear throughout the song the fact that she is saying hey my inhibitions are

00:13:11.900 down but she's deciding to stay is saying hey i'm interested in you and and just if we go over like

00:13:18.340 the way flirting works right she is very explicitly coding for him in the excuses that she is using

00:13:26.360 not to stay is other people will think negatively of her for what it would look like she had done

00:13:35.240 if she stayed yeah what is the implication of that the implication is she intends to do those things

00:13:43.500 okay she is not vaguely bringing up like oh people will you know think something has gone wrong or

00:13:51.460 something like that it's people will think we hooked up if i stayed here that is what flirting looks like

00:13:58.100 and the level of autism to hear that and think that this is somebody who's being flirted with against her

00:14:04.300 will is frankly absurd and i i think that this shows i mean then a lot of people can say like so what are

00:14:12.640 you saying are you saying that we should go back to flirting this way but not so i would do i'm gonna

00:14:16.580 defend the autists over here like if i were to hear this and interpret this like an autist

00:14:22.240 the insinuation is actually like there's inclement weather outside and i need to stay here all night

00:14:27.520 but people will think negative things that's it like i don't i don't i get zero like autistic

00:14:33.600 hackle raising about like some implication of of foul play or coercion from this song it's just too

00:14:40.360 wholesome yeah and that's so but but this all comes back to the lowering rates of sex people not

00:14:48.740 knowing how to date and people not being able to date in the way that they would have historically

00:14:52.900 dated yeah so i think that there's many guys who know like this is what courtship is supposed to look

00:14:58.120 like another really interesting thing and when i say supposed to look like is historically when people

00:15:04.460 courted this way i know because i courted this way sometimes was women women really enjoyed this

00:15:11.000 okay women really enjoy in dating some level of plausible deniability yes it's just in the past

00:15:20.000 it was hotter for them it's hotter it's protective for everyone yes well it was protective for everyone

00:15:27.600 the problem is that in our current society plausible deniability is grapes okay

00:15:34.080 well and plausible deniability for especially for men is risk because plausible plausible deniability

00:15:40.040 at any point retroactively can be turned into criminal action which is horrible yeah yeah and

00:15:46.860 that's horrifying for men today and so they do not date in this way they have to basically

00:15:52.260 explicitly ask a woman hey are you open to me kissing you but even in some places like in denmark

00:16:00.560 it seems that new regulation net play is such that even if you have like literally filmed written

00:16:07.160 consent notarized you know it doesn't matter how far it goes a woman can still retroactively go back

00:16:12.380 and decide no which is how do you think people are gonna find partners like literally and do you think

00:16:19.580 that this is what women really want like you as a woman would you have really wanted me to be

00:16:24.840 that explicit instead of normal flirting which is for example moving out to touch you and seeing if

00:16:31.820 you remove my hand if you remove my hand i don't do it again this is the thing and this is the problem

00:16:36.040 where people end up going overboard with this sort of stuff when the person has clearly signaled they're

00:16:40.900 not interested and yet you keep making moves and i think that this is one of the problems potentially

00:16:46.060 as society is becoming more autistic this sort of nuanced dating because society is becoming more

00:16:50.320 autistic this sort of nuanced dating actually does lead to actual grapey situations much more often

00:16:56.360 because people don't pick up the no i'm actually not interested in you social cues

00:17:00.840 because if the woman in the song was actually giving the guy cues like i'm not interested in you

00:17:08.300 him continuing to go on and on would have been a very threatening environment for her

00:17:13.040 well and vice versa in fact i think there's a version of the song where

00:17:16.460 they keep all the female lyrics but then the male lyrics are like okay go and it just makes her look

00:17:21.780 super creepy so of course it goes both ways yeah and i and i do think that these these problems

00:17:27.480 especially now the risk does go both ways because you can now have a woman be very aggressive with a

00:17:34.540 man and put him in a position where he feels coerced because he worries that if he doesn't respond to

00:17:41.560 her advances she will then retroactively frustrated because she's already unethical enough to push his

00:17:47.780 boundaries when she knows he's not okay with moving forward she's unethical enough to also then make

00:17:53.060 accusations should he not accept her unwanted advances so i think it can be equally scary for

00:17:59.220 men in these situations but and one thing i want to be clear which i think is always one of the big

00:18:03.860 problems or things that annoys me about the wider manos here is we'll point to an issue like this

00:18:09.200 has happened because of a change in dating culture and they and i talk about how this affects both

00:18:14.660 men and women and they're like well it's a change that women wanted and it's like no it's a change

00:18:20.320 that some influential women wanted i'd say that always the majority of women in society didn't really

00:18:26.480 like this yeah i don't even think it's fair to say that women wanted it i think it's fair to say

00:18:31.480 that power hungry bureaucrats wanted it that people playing dominance hierarchy games wanted it people who

00:18:37.240 wanted to impose safetyism culture wanted it and they don't i don't even think again i think it's

00:18:42.300 safetyism culture but within a dominance hierarchy just as we were going back to like anime right like

00:18:46.880 people showing that they're bigger fans of anime or indie rock bands by choosing more and more obscure

00:18:52.420 impossible bands and shows in the same realm of safetyism culture which had a massive meteoric

00:19:00.360 meteoric rise throughout the 90s and especially the early aughts the the best way to show your extra power

00:19:07.500 your extra commitment to that movement and to wokeism in general was to propose even more stringent

00:19:15.380 classifications and agreements like oh we have to have all these terms and now you need to have a written

00:19:19.600 consent and of course i'm clearly better and more important in this culture because i'm the one who's willing

00:19:25.260 to take this obscure and extreme measure so again this is not a woman thing this is not a man thing

00:19:30.420 this is a dominance hierarchy slash bureaucratic tumor thing do you yeah and and and when and then people

00:19:38.520 be like yeah but that movement was more female than male that caused this cultural breakdown and i'm like

00:19:43.100 so fucking what so fucking what a lot of the women who i am sad that this is hurting today

00:19:49.760 are not the you know the these ultra ultra progressive women i am sad that this is hurting

00:19:56.580 normal girls who are yeah i mean it's like in like viking raids in which there was there was you know

00:20:03.680 pillaging and and and brutalization of families in small villages you know it's like oh well this is a man

00:20:10.060 problem men were doing all of the raiding and it's like well yeah but also it's like fathers male children

00:20:15.520 brothers lost people they loved had people they loved violated were themselves killed like i'm sorry

00:20:21.420 there are victims for every every violent corrupt hurtful movement out there don't pretend that like

00:20:28.220 because some some boxes ticked among those who are the aggressors means that the aggressors are that box

00:20:34.300 ticked so and what this means is on the group that is motivating the action not the individual not like

00:20:44.820 some aspect of the individuals right so like right if you're mad about the viking raids don't be mad at

00:20:49.940 men be mad at vikings if you're mad about what the ultra progressive wocus you know urban monoculture

00:20:56.200 cultists have done be mad at them yes male or female don't be mad at women there's women out there that

00:21:05.620 are hurt by this just as much as there are men that are hurt by this and we need to work together to

00:21:10.980 destroy the actual scourge which has led to this and work together to fight against that scourge

00:21:17.560 not blame people who may have a lot of sympathies for our cause and what's going on but this brings

00:21:25.280 us to another point that you were talking about which is it we do still need to recognize that on

00:21:30.060 average women are more progressive and men are more conservative yes one of the things that has led to a

00:21:35.020 damage in dating culture is people not being willing to cross the aisle in dating anymore right so

00:21:40.520 liman stone and brad wilcox recently wrote a piece on this in the atlantic where they talked about the

00:21:47.020 growing disparity between men and women in terms of political affiliation plus the growing number

00:21:52.380 of people who are not willing to date across the aisle and this is not something that showed up in

00:21:57.640 this in their article for some other event i went over a detailed survey results pdf that showed

00:22:05.900 friendship over the years and it also showed that uh friends are less likely to be to befriend people

00:22:12.680 who have different political affiliations from them and that people have unfriended people based on their

00:22:18.200 political affiliation however this is worse among progressives so progressives are much more likely to

00:22:24.960 have unfriended someone because they were conservative or just not progressive enough which

00:22:29.480 is really interesting because it's actually more dangerous for conservatives to have progressive

00:22:33.420 friends than progressive to have conservative friends why do you say that so for example i'm a guy

00:22:37.720 and i'm hitting on a woman who's too progressive that's actually a huge risk to me because she can

00:22:42.100 like give me charge with rape or something like that right whereas the inverse is less true although

00:22:46.900 women could say well he may not respect my boundaries or something you know these guys they're just

00:22:52.140 this is this is really frustrating though right because like when you and i met i think you and

00:22:56.440 i were both way more progressive than we are now which is a very common trajectory right like people

00:23:00.960 grow up and get responsible actually that's not true really i thought it was like the common myth

00:23:05.080 yeah people don't actually become much more conservative as they age it's your your political

00:23:11.620 leaning is uh heavily genetic and not really well not heavily moderately genetic and then other than that

00:23:18.300 it's experiential but it doesn't seem to turn consistently more conservative as people age but

00:23:24.760 what's interesting then is i would say that our political leanings genetically if i had to like come up

00:23:29.580 with like what our genetics seem to reveal about our intuitions is that we're both extremely classical

00:23:35.860 liberals like libertarians like get off my life you know don't mess with my stuff and but but i i think

00:23:43.060 was more on the progressive end when we met and you were more on the conservative end when we met like

00:23:48.600 i mean i was still progress i would have been considered progressive back then yeah no you were

00:23:53.800 totally considered progressive but also like i when we were going to get married remember like at first

00:23:58.280 i was like well you know of course i'm not going to change my last name and you're like what

00:24:02.020 yeah i was like no of course you're changing your last name and and so but like that's the thing is

00:24:06.820 like now i think women would hear you say something like that and be like well that's a

00:24:13.240 deal breaker and it's so stupid but would you have would you have ever been caught up by this culture

00:24:18.160 so much that you would feel that way no i feel like you're like also i don't know like things have

00:24:23.920 gotten so extreme recently people have gotten so like there's this collective delusion i do think

00:24:28.960 that there's some kind of weird social contagion it's i mean it was possible in like the middle

00:24:34.360 ages for people to dance themselves to death because some weird social contagion spread in

00:24:39.280 their in their village right i i think it's entirely possible for people to who are otherwise perfectly

00:24:45.560 reasonable i love i love this analogy that this is like in the medieval ages when people dance

00:24:51.160 themselves to death that that's what we're seeing among progressives right now you know we were talking

00:24:54.760 we were talking with this reporter who reached out to us recently do you want to go over like she

00:24:58.380 just kept bemoaning like well i need to find a guy who you know lives in new york city and

00:25:03.300 is uh progressive and it's very hard if you yeah like i'm you know what i won't find you know guys

00:25:09.760 who compromise for me and she showed absolutely zero willingness to compromise for a guy when

00:25:15.800 really like for me my process of really falling in love with you was every time you exposed me to

00:25:22.020 something that i hadn't realized every time that you changed my perspective on something every time you

00:25:26.840 opened my eyes to something like i remember one day i was like well you know america has like the

00:25:32.020 worst education system we're so embarrassing and you're like actually like have you seen what

00:25:37.080 european like education systems are like and he showed me all this data and i was like holy smokes

00:25:41.480 america's amazing what and like like i feel like people should be even more attracted to people of

00:25:49.600 different well i would say they should be even more attracted to conservatives so i think one thing

00:25:54.240 that's important to note is many progressive women out there are like simone they are actually

00:26:00.920 interested in finding out what's true about the world okay yeah i think many people because they're

00:26:06.800 pro-social and they care but that means you have to use actual data-backed arguments you need to

00:26:12.440 actually go over stuff now there's another class of women out there who if you show data that doesn't

00:26:18.580 agree with their tribe's preconceptions that is an attack yeah that and and and those are people who

00:26:26.260 you will just never be happy being with just trust me like if they're like an ideological tribalist

00:26:32.520 even if you're progressive you're probably better off not being with them well these people aren't

00:26:37.760 pro-social in the end because they don't care about data that ultimately may help them improve

00:26:44.600 societal outcomes they care whether or not you have shown to be in their cult yeah yeah and and i guess

00:26:54.100 what we're saying at the end of all this is uh baby it's cold outside is a guide to dating look like

00:27:01.980 it's yes it's it is how you should flirt if you find someone who is not completely woke and likely

00:27:07.360 to write you up and report you to the police well i think even now i don't i don't think the young

00:27:12.260 generation could easily risk flirting that way um boy no so i think it's an intractable problem at this

00:27:20.280 point but it's important to remember that the enemy isn't women it's the cultural group that has

00:27:26.400 enforced these norms that have made it impossible to date women and that if you can get through that

00:27:33.040 if you can get a potentially good partner it is much harder to date than it was historically i would

00:27:38.900 not play the trade-up game as aggressively as i see some of our followers playing it where they're like

00:27:44.700 well i can do better than the one i have right now um maybe maybe and they're like well if i get a lot

00:27:50.340 richer and it's like yeah but then you're older and you're in a dating market where it's potentially

00:27:55.080 even harder like when i say harder they're like yeah but women get more desperate like these 30 year

00:28:00.560 old single women they're more desperate than the younger ones and i can get more attractive women

00:28:06.780 and i'm like yes you probably can but i'd also even even those more attractive women now i think are

00:28:12.120 culturally ruined i was just poking around on reddit last night i would point out i was looking

00:28:16.140 at like i think maybe am i the asshole i was looking at that subreddit and there was like 22 no 19 she

00:28:22.780 was 19 and she was like am i the asshole for being mad that my 62 year old husband doesn't says he can't

00:28:31.060 care for our twins like so she decided to marry this guy who's incredibly likes way older than she is

00:28:36.680 and clearly is a stay-at-home wife and was was surprised that her husband who had just gotten

00:28:43.640 some kind of diagnosis like i think he needed to get a hip replacement or knee replacement or something

00:28:47.440 like pretty intense and was like listen i you know you're gonna need to kind of like pull the weight

00:28:52.740 here i'm like literally not well enough to raise twins right now and she's like well there was there

00:28:58.060 was another one that i read and i think this was also am i in am i the asshole or maybe just no

00:29:02.380 mother-in-law which is another subreddit i follow where someone was talking about her evil mother-in-law

00:29:07.400 and how her mother-in-law was criticizing her for not doing enough cooking and cleaning as a stay-at-home

00:29:13.180 wife so not even a stay-at-home mother just to stay so the woman who has no job and just stays at home

00:29:18.280 in a very expensive house who her mother-in-law was by and her she found her husband making and

00:29:25.600 cleaning up after dinner as this wife was lying in bed upstairs because her period cramps were too bad

00:29:31.860 and then the mother was sort of criticizing for her for like listen you're a stay-at-home wife like

00:29:36.340 why is he making dinner for you and cleaning after working all day and i'm like reading this and my

00:29:41.380 blood is boiling like this woman is so entitled like part of me is like yeah throw up your hands

00:29:47.120 women are ruined like i don't know like they're just like that there could be this like complete

00:29:51.480 lack of understanding of this is not about women and men this is not about roles in the household

00:29:56.440 this is not about like men should be able to do their own laundry and cook what you know everyone

00:29:59.880 should be able to take care of themselves obviously this is about reciprocity this is about

00:30:04.160 what are you bringing to the table in a social contract yeah and people seem to have completely

00:30:08.440 lost the plot there that there is no like again it's that that level of entitlement you know just

00:30:15.840 like well but of course i deserve everything because i deserve everything instead of like you deserve as

00:30:21.920 much as you deserve based on what you bring to the table if you bring 10 points to the table you

00:30:25.880 deserve 10 points in return you know of equal value oh well i am so lucky that i met you and uh and and

00:30:35.160 that i met you young enough that we were able to grow together and those cultural influences that

00:30:41.040 could have tarnished both of us were able to intertwine as we we grew up together and so yeah i just

00:30:47.540 strongly encourage people to not not think i'll be wealthier in the future i'll be more successful in

00:30:52.800 the future i'm just gonna wait to do better but also like not to wait for a perfect person out of

00:30:56.940 the box because there is no such thing you have to grow with someone yeah and and someone's not

00:31:01.360 going to be perfect for you you have to make them perfect for you and you have to become perfect for

00:31:05.560 them like i was just thinking like if i woke up sudden someday is like a single man and i had to

00:31:11.280 figure out like what to do i actually think there's a ton of low-hanging fruit like i would go

00:31:16.160 through well like all the female porn like subreddits and stuff and sort of see like what

00:31:22.260 women fantasize about because actually like a ton of it's really wholesome and then i would just start

00:31:27.400 acting it out like just you know be that like kind listener who you know makes them feel safe and

00:31:34.580 like like it's just it's not that hard and it's now we have more data than ever like i think in the

00:31:39.520 past it was actually really hard for men to understand what women wanted like kind of you had to go by

00:31:44.940 ads and ads were like we'll buy this perfume for your wife and she'll love you you know or like get

00:31:49.120 flowers for this girl and she'll be so happy whereas now like you can literally see the number of upvotes

00:31:55.820 on specific behavioral patterns and then ape them like hello low-hanging fruit like crazy and of course

00:32:03.100 that doesn't change the fact that like women are crazy entitled and men are crazy entitled and people

00:32:07.760 are lazy and stressed and whatever and there's no money and there's no desire but like there's still so

00:32:12.120 many things you can do and you have to adapt you you as you are are not good enough period not good

00:32:17.900 enough no one is i wasn't good enough for you that's like super clear and you changed a lot for

00:32:23.640 me too to accommodate me because i'm very neurotic and crazy so anyway rant over so well and this is

00:32:31.400 fantastic and i appreciate that when i met you i mean you were good enough and that you you always

00:32:35.820 were working to improve yourself and you and you always recognize that you could improve yourself

00:32:41.240 still and that that was a desirable thing i guess the most desirable thing these days is malleability

00:32:46.420 isn't it well and infatuation well yeah infatuation and interesting it's being submissive and breedable

00:32:53.380 okay

00:32:54.060 okay

00:32:54.100 okay

Based Camp - December 25, 2023

Baby It's Cold Outside： A Guide To Wholesome Flirting？

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