Based Camp - Based Camp： The Cybernetic Birds and the Bees

00:00:00.000 If you look at the cultural groups that are strict, but are otherwise forced to engage

00:00:04.820 the progressive monoculture, this is where you get the meme of the Catholic schoolgirl,

00:00:08.880 right?

00:00:09.160 And this is definitely something when I was more promiscuous, I ran into girls like this 1.00

00:00:12.340 a lot, where the most promiscuous girls typically come from conservative religious backgrounds. 1.00

00:00:18.620 They do not come from the backgrounds closer to you, where their parents laid out both

00:00:23.160 options.

00:00:23.580 Yeah, that's actually, come to think of it, yeah.

00:00:25.740 They're like, this system used to work in the past.

00:00:28.100 But it used to work in an environment where this urban monoculture didn't exist and wasn't

00:00:33.660 constantly sniping at it.

00:00:35.460 Would you like to know more?

00:00:37.160 Malcolm Collins, hello.

00:00:39.540 Hello, Simone. 0.69

00:00:40.920 It is wonderful to be chatting again today.

00:00:44.420 I thought today, given that we have done some episodes that discuss things like people's

00:00:49.980 sexuality, gender, stuff like that, that we talk about, because another big theme of ours

00:00:55.320 is, well, what are we going to do for our culture, for our kids?

00:00:58.100 How are we going to build something that's intergenerationally durable, and that focuses

00:01:02.540 on these concepts specifically in relation to how we are going to conceive them as a cultural

00:01:09.600 group, and the way we will teach our kids about them, or teach them to contextualize them

00:01:16.580 within their own life.

00:01:17.660 Yeah, exactly.

00:01:18.780 Before we go any deeper down this particular rabbit hole, I think it's important to survey

00:01:24.380 the landscape of how cultures relate to sexuality, and why they relate to sexuality, the way they

00:01:30.380 relate to sexuality.

00:01:32.220 So cultures can be thought of as broadly an evolving software that's sitting on top of

00:01:38.520 evolving human hardware, which is a person's pre-coded genetic predilections.

00:01:43.000 And then on top of that, you have this sort of software package.

00:01:46.020 And if the package does a good job of getting people to reproduce and pass that software

00:01:51.460 package on to the next generation, then those iterations of the packages exist in higher

00:01:56.520 proportions than other iterations of the packages.

00:01:58.920 And this is why most successful cultural groups throughout history have prohibitions on

00:02:06.020 masturbation and sex outside of marriage and stuff like that.

00:02:09.480 So first, let's talk about why would you have a prohibition on sex outside of marriage,

00:02:13.340 right?

00:02:13.740 Well, sex outside of marriage, and it's not that there aren't cultural groups that allow

00:02:17.820 a lot of sex outside of marriage.

00:02:19.180 There are.

00:02:20.060 They just have not been very successful.

00:02:22.520 And by that, what I mean is they didn't conquer their neighbors.

00:02:24.780 They didn't grow a lot.

00:02:26.100 Often they are typically smaller cultural groups that are really pushed to the wayside by history.

00:02:32.420 And this is because, one, monogamous cultural groups typically out-compete polygynous cultural

00:02:37.820 groups.

00:02:38.120 Now, first, we need to make clear that almost all cultural groups are polygynous to some

00:02:42.840 extent.

00:02:43.540 By that, what we mean is the ultra-wealthy and ultra-powerful in almost any society in

00:02:48.520 history, yes, even the Catholic monarchies and stuff like that often had, it was expected.

00:02:56.980 So let's be clear.

00:02:59.140 When I call a culture monogamous, all cultures are polygynous to some extent, where the elite

00:03:03.840 are typically allowed multiple partners.

00:03:05.760 The question is, where is the slider there?

00:03:09.180 And if that slider is under 1% of the population, it's expected to have multiple partners.

00:03:14.740 I call it a monogamous culture.

00:03:16.160 If it's 5% to 10%, those are where most polygynous cultures stay. 0.98

00:03:21.860 Very few polygynous cultures get as high as like 20% of men having more than one wife.

00:03:26.660 So it's important to understand what we mean when we call a culture polygynous versus monogamous.

00:03:30.760 And it should be intuitive.

00:03:32.200 A lot of people are like, oh, in a polygynous culture, every man has a lot of wives.

00:03:35.320 And it's like, no, obviously that won't work because you have about an equal number of males

00:03:38.600 and females in almost any society unless there's a lot of war. 1.00

00:03:41.920 So the monogamous cultures typically outcompete the polygynous cultures. 0.98

00:03:46.280 And there's been some great studies on this.

00:03:47.960 You know, we have them cited in our book on both sexuality and relationships because they're

00:03:52.520 really interesting.

00:03:53.160 And you can see them side by side in some places like Africa where you can see these cultures

00:03:57.280 operating side by side.

00:03:58.360 And what you see is that these more monogamous cultures typically have lower rates of ape.

00:04:03.980 And we're not going to use the full word there because we don't want to get demonetized.

00:04:07.700 They usually have lower rates of crime, lower rates of violent crime, lower rates of unpaid

00:04:15.080 debts, and most importantly, lower rates of terrorism.

00:04:18.220 And this is usually directly correlatory to the number of unwed men in these societies. 0.90

00:04:23.040 And so the groups that adopted these monogamous practices outcompeted the groups that did not.

00:04:27.780 So that's one reason.

00:04:29.180 And then once they adopt monogamous practices, if a person is having relations outside of their

00:04:34.740 marriage, well, they might as a single woman end up having kids outside of marriage. 1.00

00:04:39.800 And that's typically really bad for any cultural group because those kids often end up becoming

00:04:45.420 wards of the state in cultures that don't allow women to work as much. 1.00

00:04:49.900 And typically when a culture encourages women to work more, their fertility rate decreases 1.00

00:04:55.700 and nearby cultural groups end up outcompeting them, which is why it's so common in these

00:05:00.560 cultural groups to say.

00:05:01.760 So this is why historically the cultural groups that have won have, one, often been more monogamous.

00:05:07.260 They often really discourage premarital relations and relations outside of a marriage because

00:05:13.800 that could break up a marriage, which then causes, you know, obviously problems for a society

00:05:18.680 where it's expected that people are going to be together forever, right?

00:05:21.420 Because maybe they don't care for one kid and then the kid becomes like a vagrant and,

00:05:24.980 you know, Oliver Twist, right?

00:05:26.560 Roaming groups of kids without parents were a major problem in these societies.

00:05:33.100 Almost like packs of stray dogs that were intelligent and were constantly trying to screw you over.

00:05:39.120 It's something we don't really see in the world today as much, but it was a major problem,

00:05:44.480 historically speaking.

00:05:45.320 So that's why you have that.

00:05:47.220 And then the masturbation push, the reason why so many groups are against that is because

00:05:52.320 it lowers fertility rates, right? 0.93

00:05:54.120 And you can look at some cultural groups, I'm pretty sure some Jewish sects do this,

00:05:57.880 where it's like you can't even have sex with somebody when the person would not get pregnant 0.99

00:06:04.120 due to their stage of the menstrual cycle.

00:06:06.400 That would be considered sinful.

00:06:07.800 And so like, why are you doing this?

00:06:08.900 You are trying to maximize reproduction.

00:06:11.000 That's why you see this in so many cultural groups.

00:06:13.320 Now, why I'm laying out this groundwork, right, is this is no longer theoretically the most

00:06:22.040 successful strategy if you're trying to encourage high fertility rates in a culture,

00:06:27.080 because the way that fertility works has dramatically changed.

00:06:31.820 What did you do this morning, Savannah?

00:06:33.380 Yes.

00:06:33.720 This morning I had a frozen embryo transfer, meaning that I went to our fertility clinic

00:06:39.220 and they transferred into me using a catheter and ultrasound, an embryo that we had previously

00:06:45.940 created.

00:06:47.080 So this was not procreative sex for our next kid.

00:06:51.280 In fact, none of our children have been created using procreative sex.

00:06:55.300 And I like to think that that is the ultimate gift that we give them.

00:06:58.900 They don't have to think that their parents having sex created them, which is a heavy burden

00:07:03.540 that I personally bear and wish that I didn't.

00:07:06.660 You want to talk about trauma?

00:07:07.880 That's, that's my trauma.

00:07:09.360 Yeah, that's your, they are, they are a product of science and money.

00:07:12.920 So, but, but yeah, it is, it's, so this is really important, you know, obviously it was

00:07:17.460 an embryo that we selected based on its, its, its genetics, which is also a cultural practice

00:07:22.260 of ours. 0.80

00:07:22.660 So from our cultural position, sex is purely masturbatory or a way to have kids less expensively. 0.97

00:07:34.080 Yeah.

00:07:34.340 Because not everyone has the luxury or the affordance to either pay for IVF or be lucky

00:07:40.580 enough to live in a nation that supports it.

00:07:42.580 Right, right.

00:07:43.120 So eventually, I mean, I'd like our family office, which we want to run things for all

00:07:47.480 of our kids to be able to pay for this for, for any of them that want it.

00:07:50.640 But in the meantime, the only case where I think it would really be ethical for somebody

00:07:56.100 within our cultural group to have kids not using IBS and collagenic risk screening, because

00:08:02.560 those kids could end up getting, you know, cancers or have other maladies that could easily

00:08:07.160 be screened for, right, would be if it was in some way cost prohibitive.

00:08:11.380 And because of that, they were going to have less kids.

00:08:13.620 But if it's not cost prohibitive for that family, then, then sex for that family is always 0.99

00:08:20.380 masturbatory. 0.99

00:08:22.600 And by that, what I mean is it's no different.

00:08:24.120 You are just using another person's body to, to, to feel good in the same way you could

00:08:30.260 by yourself.

00:08:31.360 Now, it could be a bonding ritual, I suppose.

00:08:33.840 But this culturally really changes how we teach our kids to relate to one sexuality, but

00:08:41.500 also things like gender.

00:08:42.500 Because, you know, we're entering a world where artificial wombs are coming down the pipeline. 1.00

00:08:46.220 They will definitely be here by the time our kids are old enough to have kids themselves.

00:08:51.180 And so is IBG, which means that they would be able to have kids with people of the same

00:08:57.000 gender if they wanted to.

00:08:58.680 And this is really interesting because another thing is, if you look across the world, you

00:09:03.380 know, whether it's China or Islam or the US or wherever, cultural groups that have been

00:09:09.440 successful, i.e. spread a lot and survived over a long period of time, almost always have homophobic

00:09:14.500 undertones.

00:09:15.680 And typically when they begin to lose those undertones, they, that is right before a collapse

00:09:21.140 ends up happening.

00:09:22.260 And, and one of the questions can be like, what's going on here?

00:09:25.300 Why is that the case?

00:09:26.460 You know, when this is clearly not in a portion of the population's best interest, and it is

00:09:31.120 because it increases fertility rates for those cultural groups.

00:09:33.980 And so even if you have a cultural group that becomes, historically speaking, that became

00:09:39.320 more tolerant of LGBT individuals, if it had like a branch of it, like a split of it that

00:09:44.920 was less tolerant of them, that split would have more kids.

00:09:48.020 It would end up out competing them.

00:09:50.200 And, and so you see this just across the world in, in these longer cultural groups.

00:09:55.900 But what you're saying is now with modern technology, it suddenly doesn't matter as much if you have, 0.60

00:10:01.140 you know, two consenting adults, flapping their genitals against each other. 0.77

00:10:06.700 It's completely irrelevant. 0.86

00:10:08.200 Yeah.

00:10:08.720 It's completely irrelevant.

00:10:10.100 Yeah.

00:10:11.400 Well, I mean, so is gender.

00:10:12.680 So is gender is still important to us insofar as males and females are dimorphic, you know,

00:10:18.360 both physically and psychologically, which may make them assortatively better at specific

00:10:24.140 tasks or specific roles within a marriage, but not beyond that.

00:10:28.040 Yeah.

00:10:29.680 Yeah.

00:10:30.160 Well, so let's talk then about what the, the talk is going to look like with our kids.

00:10:36.140 And of course, who knows, you know, by the time that they reach pre-adolescence, at which

00:10:39.840 point we're going to talk with them about this more concertedly, we'll, we'll probably have

00:10:43.500 new information that changes what we're going to do, but what's our running plan now?

00:10:47.480 I would say that there's two large concerns for us in regards to this.

00:10:52.040 One is cultural groups, which are really, really sex negative, often have a higher bleed

00:10:59.300 rates, i.e. more of their members leave the cultural group, especially when they're competing

00:11:05.160 against this sort of progressive urban monoculture.

00:11:07.680 In fact, I would say that sexuality is the progressive urban monoculture's biggest lure

00:11:13.560 to get people out of these conservative traditions.

00:11:16.400 They say, Hey, come to us and you can be sexually hedonistic.

00:11:21.540 You can act on any desire you have, and we will praise you for it.

00:11:26.380 You know, now what's interesting is it's becoming more and more sexually conservative in many

00:11:30.500 ways.

00:11:30.920 It's becoming more sex negative.

00:11:32.600 And we're seeing this where it's becoming more restrictive in the way it views sexuality.

00:11:36.220 And we can have another video on why that's the case.

00:11:39.300 But what it means is that if you have a group like us as a cultural group, if we tell our

00:11:45.320 kids, we do not care how you engage with your sexuality, so long as it is efficacious, that

00:11:52.620 big pull that this urban monoculture can use to draw them out of our cultural group loses

00:11:58.600 most of its bite.

00:12:00.460 I think that's a really important point because what I see a lot, for example, in comments

00:12:05.000 on our videos is, Hey, this sex negative shaming is a really key portion.

00:12:10.420 We can't retain our culture if we do not shame what they would call sexual deviance. 0.94

00:12:17.060 And what you're saying here is actually it's that very shaming that pushes many people away.

00:12:21.880 So it's not a complete view to believe that this shaming and this sex negativity is going

00:12:27.160 to help you over the long run, especially in modern society.

00:12:30.940 Yeah.

00:12:31.040 Well, I do believe that kids should learn to control their sexuality and teach them to 1.00

00:12:37.540 control that, but they should control it as a utility.

00:12:41.300 Like I would say that this is part of how humans engage with other humans and that when you

00:12:47.560 are acting morally by our cultural framework, you are engaging in these practices in a way

00:12:54.480 that is efficacious and in the best interest of things that you think have long-term moral

00:13:00.140 value.

00:13:01.520 And so by that, what I mean is, you know, you can use sexuality to get things out of

00:13:06.420 other people, right?

00:13:08.040 I think that's something that a lot of people know, and it can be very important in terms

00:13:12.780 of shortcuts in life and other people can use it against you.

00:13:17.180 So if you don't have full self-mastery, other people can use this against you.

00:13:21.300 And really importantly, it's important in mate finding.

00:13:24.220 Within most modern mate finding rituals, you know, if you are targeting really educated people

00:13:29.500 and you are not sexually experienced, it's very rare to find ones that also aren't sexually

00:13:34.920 experienced, especially if you're a guy.

00:13:37.000 You know, I think that this is more an important thing for guys was girls.

00:13:39.940 I think there's more of a gambit.

00:13:41.520 You know, they can wait to try to find the correct partner with the understanding that

00:13:44.640 they're going to pair bond more if they do that.

00:13:47.120 But I would more just inform them of the trade-off here.

00:13:50.620 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:52.120 So specifically with our daughter's sexual strategy, basically, rather than because I

00:13:56.700 remember, so my mother had given me some sort of talk about like, when I was much younger,

00:14:01.740 she was like, sex is like jewels, like you're born with, she was very, I think, uncomfortable

00:14:06.440 with the subject.

00:14:07.280 You're born with a certain number of jewels and you have to be careful about who you give

00:14:12.100 them away to.

00:14:12.980 And she was, and this was someone who had grown up in a very sexually open culture and, you

00:14:18.020 know, was involved in poly in her youth and everything.

00:14:20.560 And so I think it was really, when I look back on it, I think it's really interesting

00:14:24.540 what she was trying to say to me, because I think she was trying to say, you're free

00:14:27.560 to make choices here, but there is a bit of a trade-off and a cost.

00:14:31.680 And I think you and I just want to be a lot more explicit with that conversation that like,

00:14:35.380 yes, sex, you can basically, as a woman, take two different sexual strategies. 1.00

00:14:39.220 One in which like, probably you're a lot more open with sex.

00:14:42.380 You probably use it to your advantage a lot.

00:14:44.240 Obviously you're careful safety wise, health wise, et cetera.

00:14:47.600 But you know, you, you, you understand that you're going for like high count and strategic

00:14:52.880 advantage and enjoying it, enjoyment. 0.77

00:14:54.720 Like some women really, really enjoy sex. 1.00

00:14:56.320 So like maybe, you know, that would be a good strategy for our daughters who are like, 0.97

00:15:00.140 I'm super into this, but that when it comes to securing a partner, when it comes to a life

00:15:05.840 partner, like someone who will marry them and invest in them and have kids with them, it is

00:15:09.120 going to be harder to do that.

00:15:10.920 And so their odds of maybe needing to raise children in alternative fashions, either like

00:15:16.860 independently or in concert with other people or other siblings or something like that, like

00:15:21.500 that is going to have to be a realistic, viable pathway.

00:15:24.340 If something like that is important to them.

00:15:26.140 And also that we need, we need, I think we should warn them that what they want now may

00:15:30.740 be very different from what they want in the future.

00:15:32.600 Cause I do think that when you're younger, especially both as a male and a female, but especially as a

00:15:37.100 female, like you kind of get the impression younger, Oh, well, like more sex, more exploration is a good 1.00

00:15:40.640 idea.

00:15:40.980 Keep your options open.

00:15:41.860 But then later you're like, man, I really want kids, but you didn't want kids when you were a teen.

00:15:45.680 And so it's really hard to plan for that.

00:15:47.860 So I think, you know, something to, to note is that when you met me and, and, and still other

00:15:54.780 than me, you know, you are a virgin, right?

00:15:56.800 Yep.

00:15:57.020 And I will say that that definitely increased my perception as you as a potential wife. 0.55

00:16:03.260 You were a higher quality potential wife to me. 0.99

00:16:05.820 And a lot of people would be like, Oh, that's terrible or whatever.

00:16:08.040 But I think the reality is, and there's like biological reasons for this, that men are going 0.79

00:16:14.600 to be more committed to partners.

00:16:16.900 And some men are going to have a strong preference for partners with a low body count. 0.52

00:16:20.940 Well, I think there's the partner that you want to have sex with.

00:16:22.940 And there's the partner that you want to have and raise your kids. 0.59

00:16:25.900 Yeah.

00:16:26.500 And well, yeah.

00:16:27.560 So, so I, I also argued that there's a difference here.

00:16:30.080 Like the type of person that I would want for a random sexual encounter is very different

00:16:34.100 than the type of person I would want for a long-term relationship.

00:16:36.840 And so even I, as someone with a, with a high body count, I appreciated that coming into the

00:16:40.980 relationship.

00:16:41.500 But I also think that us telling our kids this in the same way that your mom told you this,

00:16:46.120 it worked for you.

00:16:47.320 She gave you a choice between multiple strategies, but also taught you the value of self-control.

00:16:54.520 And you decided to use those two pieces of information to choose a low partner count strategy.

00:17:02.700 Well, let's be clear.

00:17:03.260 I think that the primary thing my parents gave me was complete freedom to make the choices

00:17:06.840 myself because I found all humans, men and women, disgusting until I met you. 0.96

00:17:13.340 So let's, you know.

00:17:14.480 Yeah.

00:17:14.700 I, but the point I'm making here more broadly is I actually think, so a lot of people hear

00:17:19.260 this strategy in terms of what they, we tell our kids and they, I think, intuitively suspect

00:17:24.920 that it will lead to our daughters sleeping with a lot more people. 1.00

00:17:28.980 When in reality, if you look at the cultural groups that are strict, but are otherwise forced

00:17:33.960 to restrict around these topics, but are otherwise forced to engage with, with near the progressive

00:17:39.220 monoculture.

00:17:39.800 This is where you get the meme of the Catholic school girl, right?

00:17:42.800 And this is definitely something when I was more promiscuous, I ran into girls like this 1.00

00:17:45.960 a lot where the, the most promiscuous girls typically come from conservative religious 1.00

00:17:52.040 backgrounds.

00:17:52.860 They do not come from the, the more, the backgrounds closer to you or their parents laid out both

00:17:58.620 options.

00:17:59.080 Yeah.

00:17:59.120 That's actually come to think of it.

00:18:00.600 Like all the, the friends that I had who were raised by super, super socially liberal parents

00:18:09.120 were fairly prude.

00:18:11.140 Yeah. 0.98

00:18:11.840 Had sex super late. 0.55

00:18:13.000 Basically until we graduated high school, none of my friends were not virgins except for one

00:18:18.260 exception.

00:18:18.700 And then the, the, the vast majority of them all when they did become sexually active were

00:18:26.320 like in very committed relationships, like that lasted for years, maybe terminated in

00:18:31.700 marriage.

00:18:32.040 That's, that is, I hadn't thought about that before.

00:18:33.740 That's really interesting.

00:18:35.000 So, yeah.

00:18:35.360 Yeah.

00:18:35.540 So, so it's, it's something to keep in mind that it is actually a fairly successful way

00:18:40.360 because it's something that people, when they talk about going back to the way things

00:18:43.860 used to be there, they, they're like this system used to work in the past, but it used

00:18:49.020 to work in an environment where this urban monoculture didn't exist and wasn't constantly sniping

00:18:54.740 at it, you know?

00:18:55.980 And so I think, yes, the system did used to work in the past, but, but when I look at

00:19:00.360 what cultural groups work today at conveying this message to their daughters, it's actually

00:19:05.940 the ones that engage with it in, in this other full information, but, but, but understand

00:19:12.220 the potential costs here.

00:19:14.260 And, and this, what were you going to say, Simone?

00:19:16.940 Well, you're, there's another thing I really want to discuss here, which is a factor that

00:19:21.500 wasn't really that much of a thing when you and I were teens, but it's definitely going

00:19:25.100 to be a factor for our teen daughters. 0.99

00:19:26.580 So I still, there's a lot of stuff that we need to get through with girls, especially, 1.00

00:19:29.960 but also then boys, we have to do boys next, but.

00:19:32.240 We're talking about sexting, you know, and I, and I.

00:19:34.580 But not just, well, okay.

00:19:35.820 So yeah, let's start with sexting for sure.

00:19:37.640 Well, you and I were having a discussion the other day where we're like, well, what, what

00:19:42.060 happens if, you know, one of our daughters is encouraged by someone she's dating to send

00:19:48.720 to sexually explicit photos of herself, because we had an issue with someone, a colleague

00:19:53.240 having photos exposed of herself.

00:19:55.220 And I'm like, oh my gosh, like there are people who I think are totally normal, who I would

00:19:58.380 never expect to be sending explicit photos of themselves, sending explicit photos of

00:20:02.340 themselves to people.

00:20:03.120 I'm like, this is an issue.

00:20:04.060 What are we going to do with our daughters? 0.99

00:20:05.440 In the moment to them, it may feel like this can help them secure a better partner.

00:20:09.000 They may feel like, oh, this isn't actually engaging in, in, in sex with the person.

00:20:14.360 Therefore, like my rules, like when you create rigid rules.

00:20:18.280 Instead of just giving people a reason behind those rules, they can act in ways where it's,

00:20:24.440 well, butt stuff doesn't count, right? 0.97

00:20:26.260 It doesn't count, right?

00:20:28.360 You know, but if you explain the reason why this is about maximizing the number of children

00:20:32.840 you have and, and ensuring you don't have children outside of a committed relationship

00:20:36.300 and ensuring that you are high quality perceived by potential partners, like those are what you're

00:20:43.300 optimizing around.

00:20:44.180 And so what we came up with here, you actually, Simone came up with the idea.

00:20:47.720 No, no, no.

00:20:48.140 You came up with this and I think it's brilliant is so your idea was, okay, well, we should

00:20:54.440 just tell our daughters that any of their boyfriends ever pressure them to send explicit photos

00:20:59.120 of themselves, send deep fakes.

00:21:01.720 And I think this is so brilliant on a couple levels.

00:21:03.920 One is like, first, they can always point to this, this YouTube video and be like, Hey,

00:21:08.500 my mom and dad, like proof from an early age told me to only send deep fakes.

00:21:12.460 That was a deep fake.

00:21:13.660 This is a family policy.

00:21:15.420 Second, I think that there's a lot of vulnerability that you expose yourself to like mentally when

00:21:20.280 you, when you send something that kind of compromising of yourself to someone else.

00:21:25.280 When as far as you should be concerned, anything, any photo that ever just even goes onto your

00:21:29.720 phone.

00:21:29.980 I don't care if you send it to anyone that belongs to the internet that might as well

00:21:33.300 be out.

00:21:33.700 It is gone.

00:21:34.320 It is out of your control.

00:21:35.620 So even just taking exposed photos of yourself is putting yourself in a really vulnerable

00:21:39.580 position.

00:21:40.480 And I just feel like you'd feel, you know, even if there are fake naked photos of you

00:21:44.900 online, one, you can make them super flattering, but two, you know, that isn't you.

00:21:48.800 So you don't feel the same level of exposure.

00:21:51.160 The person could have done it themselves.

00:21:52.700 And there's likely going to be technology for detecting deep fakes, which then allows you to

00:21:56.960 do, you know, if they ever try to release it or use it to pressure you, you could just

00:22:00.060 be like, Hey, you could have created those on your own.

00:22:02.020 And I can prove that those aren't real, which allows you to engage in sort of the point of

00:22:07.600 this, because at that point, you know, and if a partner pressures you, what you would

00:22:12.900 say back to them is you're like, okay, do you want this for your personal sexual satisfaction?

00:22:17.940 In which case a deep fake will be useful. 0.73

00:22:20.980 Or do you want this to gain power over me?

00:22:24.620 Is this about a power dynamic?

00:22:25.940 And if it's about a power dynamic, no, I do not think this is a smart thing.

00:22:29.800 Well, I think usually it's a post-talk power dynamic, you know, like first it's for enjoyment.

00:22:33.880 Then there's a breakup or there's some other weird politicking going on, or there's some

00:22:37.080 social clout that could be gained, or you want to prove, you know, Oh, Hey, look at my

00:22:40.640 girlfriend and she's so hot. 1.00

00:22:41.940 I'm going to show you this photo.

00:22:42.860 And then someone, someone else shares it.

00:22:44.840 Yeah.

00:22:45.200 And then imagine that they didn't know, because of course we would encourage them not to tell

00:22:48.340 them that they're deep fakes.

00:22:49.240 Of course not.

00:22:49.820 And then it comes out later that this person was sharing deep fakes of a girl and saying that they 0.99

00:22:53.380 were real photos and they would look like such a fool. 0.99

00:22:58.660 Yes. 1.00

00:22:59.240 Yeah.

00:22:59.640 Okay.

00:23:00.180 We've got a couple of policies in our family.

00:23:02.440 Snitches get stitches and deep fakes are good. 1.00

00:23:04.620 Other policies with our daughters.

00:23:06.260 So the other thing that I actually want to talk through with you, you and I haven't talked

00:23:11.380 about this yet, but I'm genuinely concerned about the, the ease with which you can make

00:23:18.140 money as a young woman on sites like OnlyFans.

00:23:22.140 So I don't, I don't know.

00:23:25.080 I don't have enough data to know if this kind of compromises your, your reputation or if it,

00:23:32.400 you know, hurts your social clout or if it hurts you mentally, like it kind of gives you

00:23:37.580 just a screwed up perception of, of men, like as a girl, but I, I do.

00:23:42.080 It dramatically lowers your value on dating markets.

00:23:45.360 I worry about that because it's also really tempting.

00:23:47.740 And I think we're going to have very industrious children.

00:23:50.680 But in one of the things that we'll mention in the, in the video about my mom who died recently

00:23:54.400 is one of the most important lessons she taught me.

00:23:55.860 And it's one that we will definitely teach our kids is the single most important decision

00:24:02.400 you make in your life.

00:24:03.300 The single most important accomplishment in your life is who you marry much more important

00:24:08.180 than your career, much more important than, than, you know, your academics or anything

00:24:13.720 like that.

00:24:14.140 Your marriage is the most important thing to one, your ability to succeed in the world

00:24:20.860 into your daily quality of life and, and, and three, how you exist in the future, which

00:24:26.980 is through your kids.

00:24:27.800 You know, what would you do then if, if our daughter, one of our daughters, you are constantly

00:24:33.400 emphasizing to them, the importance of securing a high quality partner as their single most important

00:24:39.480 task in life.

00:24:40.720 Anything that permanently and dramatically lowers their probability of that for some sort of short

00:24:47.280 term benefit is going to be a lot less desire.

00:24:51.200 And so what they will have to do is internally judge for themselves.

00:24:56.200 Is that a hit I'm willing to take?

00:24:58.600 Am I willing to take a permanent hit to my desirability on the marriage market for short

00:25:04.320 term financial gain or access to some sort of financial gain system that I otherwise wouldn't

00:25:09.920 have access to?

00:25:10.820 And I think for most people, if you just lay out like the reason for all of this, and I

00:25:15.760 think the really important thing with the way that my parents conveyed this to me and

00:25:19.640 the way I will convey it to our kids is why this is important.

00:25:24.080 Like, why is it who you marry is so important?

00:25:27.160 It is the fastest way to make a lot of money.

00:25:29.120 Like you're just like, I want to make a lot of money.

00:25:30.400 Easiest way is to marry rich. 1.00

00:25:31.860 If you're like, okay, I want to be successful in my career.

00:25:35.180 Easiest thing is to have somebody who has your back.

00:25:37.100 My career has been completely enabled because of you working with me, writing those books with

00:25:42.020 me, helping me think these ideas.

00:25:43.980 You want to stay sharp and not, you know, I'll tell them, look at a lot of old people 1.00

00:25:47.620 and you'll see how quickly you can begin to mentally fall apart if you don't have somebody

00:25:51.080 constantly sharpening you.

00:25:53.100 How easy it is to stray from your value system.

00:25:56.280 Yeah.

00:25:56.540 Like you matter more to me being like, I guess, intellectually engaged and sharp today than

00:26:04.040 where I went to college.

00:26:05.440 Wow.

00:26:06.120 And it's true. 0.56

00:26:07.120 It's true.

00:26:07.520 Like you can see this is obviously true.

00:26:09.280 You know, you went to Cambridge for graduate school.

00:26:10.920 I went to Stanford for graduate school.

00:26:12.560 Like we went to good look, but how much does that still matter in our daily lives today?

00:26:16.660 Like in terms of what I know or my knowledge of the world?

00:26:20.200 Very little.

00:26:21.740 Yeah.

00:26:22.660 Yeah.

00:26:23.080 No, spouses are everything.

00:26:24.220 Well then.

00:26:24.760 So what if it's just your voice or just you?

00:26:28.560 What if one of our daughters is using some kind of like anime filter? 1.00

00:26:31.500 So no one sees it's her, but she's still doing it to make money. 0.99

00:26:34.820 Like, how would you feel about that?

00:26:36.440 Well, this is the great thing about our culture, right?

00:26:40.400 Is we are telling our kids, they have to make these judgments for themselves.

00:26:45.600 They have to make the cost risk trade-off for themselves while knowing what the end cultural

00:26:52.200 goal is.

00:26:53.040 So it's not a bunch of superficial cultural goals that are supposed to achieve this end

00:26:56.820 outcome of high levels of reproduction, high quality partners, high, high desirability

00:27:02.000 on marriage markets.

00:27:02.820 You know, we just tell them, those are the end goals.

00:27:05.800 Now you have to decide how you're going to achieve that. 0.98

00:27:09.300 And a lot of cultural groups, they're designed to work for both smart people and dumb people. 1.00

00:27:15.380 Like this cultural strategy would not work for a dumb, impulsive person. 0.98

00:27:20.160 But because, you know, our cultural group will engage in things like polygenic selection, 0.98

00:27:26.240 presumably we will have a lot fewer people like that within our cultural group.

00:27:30.520 So it won't be that much of a problem.

00:27:32.120 So you're taking up the bumpers, but you're like, it's okay.

00:27:34.800 We're really good bowlers.

00:27:36.140 Is that it?

00:27:37.040 Well, I mean, and this also comes to how we relate to things like, you know, one of our

00:27:41.740 kids is gay, right? 0.76

00:27:43.100 What I would say to them is, wow, it's going to be dramatically more costly to have kids. 0.97

00:27:48.100 That's the downside to that.

00:27:49.700 But because, you know, depending on the cost of...

00:27:52.480 If they're male, if they're a lesbian, it's pretty fine. 1.00

00:27:55.500 Right?

00:27:55.780 So yeah, just double up.

00:27:57.040 You can produce twice the number of kids.

00:28:00.460 Well, I mean, it depends on IBG technology and stuff like that and where that is and how

00:28:04.580 cheap that is because they could want the kids to be 100% biologically theirs.

00:28:07.460 Yeah, that's true.

00:28:08.060 Then it would be much more expensive for sure.

00:28:09.880 For sure.

00:28:10.040 But if they're doing that, you know, well, not that much more.

00:28:12.400 Yeah.

00:28:12.600 I mean, there's cost benefits to all of this, right?

00:28:15.540 And the goal is just maximize and it's not maximize reproduction.

00:28:19.560 And I should be clear, maximize reproduction insofar as you can set these people up for

00:28:25.480 life well and gives them a good childhood.

00:28:27.920 Because if you're just spamming kids and you don't take the first 18 years of that kid's

00:28:32.640 life and sell them on a good future, right?

00:28:35.180 And sell them like our cultural group is a good way to do things.

00:28:37.900 And you want more people like us to exist.

00:28:39.860 So when you have kids, they'll enjoy their lives as well.

00:28:42.020 They'll just leave, right?

00:28:43.500 You have to both set the kids up well.

00:28:46.860 So is this an equation that you're doing in terms of how many kids you're having versus

00:28:50.960 your means as a family and your local situation?

00:28:54.220 So now I can model what's going to happen when you walk in on one of our daughters and 0.78

00:28:58.280 she's camming for money is you're going to be like, listen, listen, I respect this.

00:29:03.580 But what I would respect even more is if you do like an Andrew Tate thing, but with AI

00:29:08.220 surrogates, you know, and just, you know, build their whole ring, you know, you can,

00:29:11.500 you need to maximize this, you know, doing this yourself, putting a, you know, filter

00:29:14.860 on, no, no, no, there's a better way to do this, but be thoughtful.

00:29:17.620 I think this is going to be a very entertaining adolescence for our, for our kids.

00:29:21.780 What about for boys?

00:29:22.840 What are your top like warnings you're going to give to our teen boys when it comes to

00:29:26.980 their sexuality?

00:29:28.340 Well, I think one of the most important that girls do not have as much is people will try 1.00

00:29:33.020 to get pregnant to lock them down. 1.00

00:29:34.600 People do this way more than I thought.

00:29:36.760 Way more than people thought it is, it is a much more common tactic, especially if

00:29:40.560 they are a high quality partner.

00:29:41.800 It was something I constantly had people trying to do with me.

00:29:44.780 I constantly had to worry about if you're a high quality male partner, people will try

00:29:48.420 to get pregnant very frequently.

00:29:49.520 And it's because it's an effective strategy and the legal system as it exists now is really

00:29:55.160 on their side.

00:29:56.020 So like in the U S if even if a woman, like you are not sleeping with her, you throw away

00:30:01.220 a condom, you had slept with another girl and she uses that condom to impregnate herself. 1.00

00:30:04.540 You're still responsible for child support. 0.91

00:30:06.660 Even if you've never had sex with her. 0.57

00:30:08.740 Right.

00:30:09.240 Because the state views that as, you know, what, what is best for the child?

00:30:12.500 And if the child has additional financial support, that's not the state then.

00:30:16.620 Okay.

00:30:16.840 Perfect.

00:30:17.440 You know?

00:30:18.040 Yeah.

00:30:18.240 So be aware of that.

00:30:19.100 I think as a male, another really important thing is there's going to be a lot of social

00:30:23.680 pressure on you to define your self worth.

00:30:27.080 And, and this is true for girls as well by your desirability was in sexual marketplaces. 1.00

00:30:33.200 So for women, it's not like the actual number of people they sleep with. 1.00

00:30:37.000 Yes.

00:30:37.180 And there were people who want to sleep with you for men. 0.93

00:30:39.800 It's the number of people you sleep with.

00:30:41.560 Yeah.

00:30:42.160 But either way, I would really encourage them to understand that this is a tool they can

00:30:47.920 use to their advantage.

00:30:48.860 If it's a system that they can play well, but to be very, very careful about actually

00:30:54.000 over-investing in this sort of system.

00:30:57.180 It's, it's a mini game in your life.

00:30:59.140 It's not a game that lasts for long.

00:31:01.000 It basically disappears after you get married.

00:31:03.440 Any, any of your score was in this system, just utilize it insofar as it helps you secure

00:31:10.060 a long-term partner.

00:31:10.940 But other than that, really don't define your self worth by it.

00:31:14.760 And this also comes to, you know, what I tell our kids about gender, which is really

00:31:18.600 interesting.

00:31:19.580 So I would be much more concerned about one of our kids being trans than being gay. 0.87

00:31:27.960 Like, I really wouldn't care at all about them being gay. 1.00

00:31:30.060 I would tell them the cost of that.

00:31:31.340 But, but trans insofar as not just identifying, like I wouldn't care if they just identified

00:31:35.720 as another gender.

00:31:36.560 I mean, technically we would be considered trans because we're both pretty agender.

00:31:39.760 Like we just don't care that much about what our gender is.

00:31:42.580 But what I would be really concerned about is if they decided to undergo all the gender 1.00

00:31:48.020 affirming surgery and, and all of the social costs of this.

00:31:51.460 And I'd be like, that just seems really indulgent, both time-wise, money-wise, everything-wise

00:31:58.240 for something that I hope we have raised you to, to believe doesn't really matter that

00:32:03.580 much.

00:32:04.360 Yes, men and women are different.

00:32:05.880 And if you want to play different cards than you were dealt, or you want to in some way

00:32:10.800 game the system with hormones or something like that, go, go ahead with it.

00:32:15.560 But when you get to the level where this is like a major daily expense to you, when you

00:32:20.400 are making life choices that is in debt, you to a particular medical regime, that's going

00:32:26.820 to be a major part of your income for the rest of your life.

00:32:29.700 And it just, some extent is going to force you to always simp for one cultural group over

00:32:35.320 another cultural group.

00:32:36.580 And I mean, we've seen this, like you look at what happened to somebody like Buck Angel,

00:32:40.560 you don't toe the line and you just get completely piled on by the community, even though he

00:32:46.040 was a person who moved the trans agenda forwards a lot in the early days, when I think a lot

00:32:52.040 of people thought it was about just acceptance, right?

00:32:54.980 Which is something that we would support.

00:32:57.740 And so that's where I would have a little bit more concern if I ever felt like they were

00:33:03.020 investing either in their gender or in their sexuality.

00:33:06.680 If they begin to act like their sexuality was a major part of their identity, I would

00:33:10.680 do that as a failure as us as parents, because I would say your sexuality and your gender 1.00

00:33:15.880 are tools.

00:33:17.200 They are things that you should like consciously understand, but they can be used to manipulate

00:33:21.380 you by your environment.

00:33:22.460 And the level of self-control you have over them, yes, exercise self-control over them

00:33:28.460 insofar as you make sure they're efficacious towards your long-term goals.

00:33:32.480 Right.

00:33:32.580 But I think the important thing here that I'm actually hearing from you is you would

00:33:36.740 have exactly the same reaction if you had a cishet boy who got super obsessed with weightlifting

00:33:43.640 and looking masculine and spending money on, you know, same with a girl, with a cishet 0.55

00:33:49.320 girl who like decided that she was going to get plastic surgery and, you know, buy all 1.00

00:33:54.200 these other medications and stuff to look super feminine. 0.77

00:33:56.600 And so it's more, your concern is more like medicalizing gender, no matter where you started

00:34:02.860 and no matter where you're going, it doesn't matter if this is switching or if this is just

00:34:07.200 maxing.

00:34:07.980 You just aren't for it because this is not something that's part of our community.

00:34:11.080 Yes, medicalizing gender or overly incorporating gender into self-identity.

00:34:14.540 Because honestly, like it can go either way.

00:34:17.040 And I think that the bigger, the bigger concern you have is just like overinvestment in this

00:34:21.840 thing that ultimately we don't think.

00:34:23.760 Well, I mean, I think your gender is serendipitous. 1.00

00:34:26.160 You know, whether you are born a man or a woman is largely within most, most, I think,

00:34:31.080 belief systems these days, something you don't have control over.

00:34:33.960 And I am always really against overinvesting in terms of an individual self-identity, something

00:34:40.000 they didn't have a lot of control over.

00:34:41.720 Yeah, or trying to make something that isn't really happening happen, you know, like just

00:34:46.280 explain what you mean by that.

00:34:47.720 Well, so, you know, if, if you, if you feel super, you know, feminine, but you're not

00:34:53.680 like, you know, maybe just try to find a way to work with that, you know, or if something

00:34:57.060 traumatic happens in your life, like work with it, turn it into something good, you know,

00:35:00.100 but don't try to force something when that causes disproportionate expenditure and your,

00:35:05.960 your resources could be better spent elsewhere.

00:35:08.780 Yeah.

00:35:09.220 Yeah.

00:35:09.360 For me, it's, it's mostly just an expenditure thing.

00:35:11.920 And when I say expenditure, I don't just mean money.

00:35:13.820 I mean, time, focus, mental bandwidth, doors, you're closing bandwidth, mental bandwidth.

00:35:20.460 I mean, anything like this, it's eating mental bandwidth is a major problem in an individual's

00:35:25.600 life.

00:35:26.100 Well, this is again, like I'm thinking more than trans people at this point. 0.82

00:35:29.700 I'm thinking like a lot of women who spend so much time on makeup, on all this performative 1.00

00:35:35.820 femininity, same with men who spend so much time in the gym and like doing all these things

00:35:41.020 to show.

00:35:41.600 Oh yeah.

00:35:42.100 No, to me, having a gym bug boy would be just as bad because it is something that is

00:35:48.680 non-efficacious.

00:35:49.580 Now, if they are doing it for health reasons, that's one thing, right?

00:35:53.560 You know, if they are doing it just to affirm their self-identity, no.

00:35:57.920 And as we said, you control the narratives that you are optimizing for it in a big way.

00:36:02.500 Every individual gets to choose the own, their own rules for like the game that they're playing,

00:36:07.880 right?

00:36:08.080 You determine your own win conditions.

00:36:10.820 And if your win conditions are self-indulgent and about satisfying a personal narrative

00:36:16.280 that wasn't created to have some sort of true impact on the world, I would be very disappointed

00:36:22.280 in them.

00:36:22.680 Whatever that narrative is.

00:36:25.000 Well, so they were like a sports star or something.

00:36:29.200 I'd be very disappointed.

00:36:30.640 I don't know.

00:36:32.000 I think if they, you know, if they're making a crap ton of money or they were, you know,

00:36:35.340 doing really well.

00:36:36.140 If they were a sports star to make money and then use that money to have efficacious change

00:36:40.400 in the world or to get a larger podium to speak from.

00:36:44.140 Yeah.

00:36:44.280 Like those two things would be things I would value, but if they were a sports star because

00:36:48.760 they saw themselves as a sports star and like being a sports star was in and of itself.

00:36:52.980 Right.

00:36:53.460 But I mean, that's, I think that's the same with anything you, you really don't objective

00:36:56.760 functions that are, they're optimized around fulfilling an identity.

00:37:00.480 And that's the problem.

00:37:01.620 You know, that's, that's the core issue.

00:37:03.080 But I'm actually, I'm really glad that we recorded this conversation because I imagined

00:37:08.700 that like when our daughters start dating, you're going to have, I'm really keen to see

00:37:12.740 if this actually happens, if this is the thing, but you could have that weird dad response where, 0.95

00:37:17.740 you know, you're like, sit every like boy down and you're like, I'm going to kill you 1.00

00:37:22.360 if you hurt my daughter. 0.98

00:37:23.480 You know what I mean?

00:37:24.440 No, what I'd probably do is I'd ask my daughters, what role do they need me as a dad to play 0.90

00:37:30.220 to increase the one safety of the dating experience and two quality of partners are getting.

00:37:36.860 And I suspect that different roles might be necessary with different guys, depending

00:37:40.820 on the, uh, so they'll be like, dad play bad cop.

00:37:45.020 Yeah.

00:37:45.440 I need you.

00:37:45.800 I need you to be the tough dad tonight.

00:37:47.180 That's what we're going for was this guy.

00:37:48.760 I think it'll play out really well.

00:37:50.620 No, no, no.

00:37:51.300 And I think another thing that we could do, that's going to be very different than sort

00:37:54.820 of the, the urban monoculture is I would encourage my kids to start looking for spouses 0.98

00:37:59.660 and having kids fairly early.

00:38:02.040 The way that I divide dating, as I say, high school is a hundred percent for fun, fun and

00:38:08.240 practice.

00:38:08.720 This is where you get good at dating.

00:38:09.940 This is where you get good at engaging with, you know, whatever gender you're attracted

00:38:13.200 to.

00:38:13.720 And the reason I say that is, this is true, especially if you're going to public school.

00:38:16.500 Now, if you're high schooling online, as our kids were, this is less important.

00:38:20.180 The reason why, if you're going to like public or private schools, this is really important

00:38:23.040 is the people you are surrounded with were largely chosen by serendipity.

00:38:27.140 And it is very unlikely that one of these, you know, a couple hundred randomly selected

00:38:31.440 people is going to be an optimal marriage partner for you.

00:38:34.240 Whereas I think they're probably going to be like housed in people that you meet.

00:38:39.760 And so first you're going to need to, you're not going to meet 10,000 people.

00:38:42.500 What you're going to do is you're going to pre-filter the people you meet by certain metrics

00:38:44.980 and then try to meet everyone.

00:38:47.320 And as I tried to everyone in the San Francisco area that met certain pre-screened requirements.

00:38:52.180 And I felt like I got to that point where I had met every woman in the entire area during

00:38:55.260 that period of time, who was single around my age and met the requirements I was looking

00:38:59.980 for.

00:39:00.220 Maybe not every single one, but I'd say at least 60 to 70%.

00:39:02.900 And that's pretty good.

00:39:03.960 So, so that's really a big difference is, is we'd say, okay, yes, high school is, is

00:39:09.480 for practice, but immediately after high school, you need to be looking for a spouse.

00:39:14.060 If, if you want to realistically find one in time, college is not for fun.

00:39:19.540 College is for finding a spouse.

00:39:21.820 And if you get to the end of college and you haven't found a spouse, you need to be like

00:39:26.380 freaking out as I was, as Miles would, I mean, my brother found his spouse on his first day

00:39:31.320 of college.

00:39:31.980 And, and by the time I graduated college, I was like, okay, I've got graduate school,

00:39:35.240 but that's really it.

00:39:36.140 If I fail at graduate school, my odds of finding a partner.

00:39:38.440 Cause as I've always said, you know, there's a large pool of pre-vetted candidates there.

00:39:42.180 So what else would you tell our sons?

00:39:44.160 Anything else?

00:39:44.780 To keep in mind the metagame being played by the women that they are dating.

00:39:52.780 So we'd previously talked about women have a hot, crazy graph, but men have a hot, evil 0.70

00:39:59.300 graph.

00:40:00.060 If you've got a man who's got a super high partner count, like above a certain partner

00:40:03.100 count, the odds that you hurt people are much higher.

00:40:05.120 So I would just want our sons to be aware of the trade-offs that are happening on the

00:40:11.560 other end with women that they're dating and to be aware of the role that they're playing

00:40:17.320 in their lives.

00:40:18.420 And I think one thing that you did really well when you were dating other people really

00:40:23.460 actively and looking for a wife, but also just dating to explore and sort of like, you

00:40:26.940 know, build an experience or have fun or whatever it was.

00:40:29.540 Because your goal was always to, to leave someone better off than they were when you

00:40:35.880 started with them, to introduce them to new like boyfriends, to, you know, find out what

00:40:40.300 they want and try to, you know, help them get closer to that.

00:40:43.060 Whether that was like exploring their sexuality or finding a better partner or moving their

00:40:47.940 career forward or learning about things.

00:40:49.940 And, and I, I really think that, you know, we should have the general, you know, campsite

00:40:53.420 rule, leave it better, better than it was when you came, you know?

00:40:56.460 And so I, I really liked that.

00:40:58.240 Yeah.

00:40:58.380 And that was always my breakup strategy back when I was dating was if I wanted to break

00:41:01.840 up with someone, I would find them another partner.

00:41:03.440 I'd say, I remember with one girl, I was like, okay, like we're breaking up out of everyone,

00:41:08.100 you know, today, who would you most want to date?

00:41:11.000 And it turned out it was one of her professors.

00:41:12.600 And so I was like, okay, here's your strategy.

00:41:15.620 I'm going to set you up for this.

00:41:16.760 And she actually ended up dating him.

00:41:18.840 Um, uh, that she was, it was the professor that all the girls wanted.

00:41:21.620 So I was, I was really proud that I got that set up because I was like, okay, this is,

00:41:25.420 this is the strategy.

00:41:26.140 We'll work together on this.

00:41:27.280 But I think that through that, and this is something that is hugely underestimated in

00:41:32.180 the manosphere.

00:41:33.140 Many of my really high quality partners that I got when I were dating were references from

00:41:39.500 other people.

00:41:40.560 You know, when you treat women well, and it's also true when you treat men well, when it

00:41:46.140 is clear that things don't work out, you know, so long as your goals were always up front

00:41:49.680 for the beginning, I'm looking for a spouse, their network, and they're having dated you and

00:41:55.260 saying, this is a good person, trust me, you know, et cetera, to, to, to someone who they

00:41:59.500 know can be really, really high quality and securing a partner and very, very valuable

00:42:05.220 at securing access to people who don't date on open markets.

00:42:09.460 And that's something that I think a lot of people miss, you know, if you're out there

00:42:13.620 getting the type of person who dates like strangers, you're much more likely to run

00:42:17.920 into like himbos and thoughts and stuff like that.

00:42:20.280 Cause these are the people that are out there having sex with lots of people, but there's

00:42:23.580 certain types of people who essentially don't date anyone who's not a pre-qualified lead.

00:42:29.460 And I'd say that this is where the majority of the really high quality partners are.

00:42:34.440 And this is why you can find them best through certain types of networking and achieving success

00:42:40.140 within your own life.

00:42:41.120 That is often the thing that reflects best in, in, in the dating scene, not improving your

00:42:47.200 superficial sexuality.

00:42:48.200 And that's always something we should remember to tell our kids is improving how hot you are. 0.99

00:42:53.480 And you should always be a baseline level of hot.

00:42:55.680 I don't say, you know, you should ever let yourself go or anything like that.

00:42:58.320 I would view that as a sign of, well, for me dating, that would be just like an immediate

00:43:02.660 screen.

00:43:03.240 Oh, this person lacks self-control.

00:43:04.760 So I'm not intrigued.

00:43:06.140 Like they can't live the lifestyle that I want to live.

00:43:08.480 Or you view attractiveness as a, just a sign of conscientiousness.

00:43:12.020 In other words.

00:43:13.140 Yeah.

00:43:13.480 Yeah.

00:43:13.640 Like a baseline level.

00:43:14.840 But outside of that, when you go above a certain level of attractiveness to attract partners,

00:43:19.540 you know, you are disproportionately getting the partners that are choosing you because

00:43:24.000 you are attractive.

00:43:25.300 And these are her thoughts.

00:43:26.960 They want you for your attractiveness as opposed to partners who are choosing you because of

00:43:33.020 your intellectualism or choosing you because they admire your morality or choosing you because

00:43:40.500 they like where you're going in life and they want to go on that path as well.

00:43:45.040 And that leads to very different types of partners and relationship dynamics, which is something I

00:43:50.700 really want to hammer home for our kids because both men and women in the early days, they can begin to 1.00

00:43:57.540 optimize their dating around what ends in sex with the people they want to have sex with instead of,

00:44:03.900 and a lot of guys, I love it in the manager, they recognize that women screw up when they do this, 0.96

00:44:09.560 that women will do this and they'll think, oh, that's the quality partner I could get in the 1.00

00:44:12.680 real world, you know, blah, blah, blah.

00:44:13.980 And it ends up in terms of like long-term partners and it ends up screwing up what they're optimizing

00:44:18.680 for it.

00:44:19.220 But the same thing happens to men.

00:44:21.600 The types of women that those strategies are successful with are often not the types of women 1.00

00:44:26.000 who you would want to marry for, I mean, obvious reasons, right?

00:44:29.860 Because they are dating you because you are attractive, right?

00:44:32.100 So that's not, women who you want to marry don't go around dating guys because they're attractive. 0.73

00:44:36.380 They go around dating guys because they make good long-term partners.

00:44:40.500 Yeah.

00:44:40.960 Yeah.

00:44:42.840 Well, I'm really glad we had this talk.

00:44:45.860 I'm looking forward to having the talk with our kids because I want to see what weird curveballs

00:44:49.460 they throw at us.

00:44:50.880 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:44:51.360 Well, and who knows what gender and sexuality look like in the future?

00:44:54.240 I expect they're going to be quite different.

00:44:56.220 I expect, it's so funny.

00:44:58.420 If I try to explain, I think to a lot of young people today, what trans or gay meant in my

00:45:06.920 generation, they'd be like, but that's trans, that's like trans medicalist.

00:45:11.160 That's like trans phobic.

00:45:12.640 And I was like, no, no, no.

00:45:13.420 Like the trans medicalist, those were like the only, that was like the only game in town 1.00

00:45:18.020 back then.

00:45:18.480 For people who don't know what this means.

00:45:20.100 When I was younger, you were born trans, right?

00:45:23.820 You were either born in the wrong body or you weren't born in the wrong body.

00:45:29.240 And to say anything else was transphobic.

00:45:31.360 And now that would be considered trans medicalist because that would be saying, oh, well, you

00:45:35.360 have to have this level of gender dysphoria.

00:45:36.980 You have to genuinely believe this.

00:45:38.280 And that is now considered transphobic.

00:45:41.020 And I think that this also helps for me really highlight how one, how fluid these concepts are

00:45:48.040 was in a society, but also how much the way that like in, in, in the Vogue today, the

00:45:54.760 way that these concepts are contextualized is not the truth.

00:45:59.240 Right.

00:45:59.820 And by that, what I mean is it's not like the moral nexus is the only way to view these

00:46:03.980 ways.

00:46:04.200 It's just how the dominant cultural group happens to view them today.

00:46:08.960 And that will change over time.

00:46:11.360 And something that may be seen as moral today will be seen as immoral in the future.

00:46:16.120 And therefore I encourage my kids to just not play that game and not overly invest in

00:46:21.780 that game because the chits that they spend may end up blowing up in their face in the 0.98

00:46:26.880 future.

00:46:27.400 You know, today, what we call terse at one point were mainstream feminist ideology, like 1.00

00:46:34.180 in the era of Skinnerism and stuff like that.

00:46:36.700 Today's heroes are tomorrow's villains.

00:46:38.720 Don't play that game.

00:46:40.300 Just decide for yourself what you want with knowledge of human biology, as realistic as you

00:46:45.780 can understand and knowledge of your end goal, which is to maximize your number of offspring

00:46:49.340 who stay within your culture and are happy they exist.

00:46:52.380 And there you go.

00:46:54.880 I love you so much, Malcolm.

00:46:56.400 I love you too, Simone.

00:46:57.800 Thank you.

Based Camp - August 03, 2023

Based Camp： The Cybernetic Birds and the Bees

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