Based Camp - Based Camp： The THOT Police

00:00:00.000 what type of woman decides to sign their entire this one short life they have 1.00

00:00:06.400 to being submissive to someone else only for attraction to that person that's a thought like

00:00:14.740 that's the very definition of a thought the type of person who would do that and that's a very

00:00:19.240 narrow psychological profile now this profile can be elicited from most people men and women

00:00:25.880 like suppose you trained a woman how to be like this aggressive sexy bombshell who was like very 1.00

00:00:33.840 forward and very good at playing men and everything like that and and this woman created a whole

00:00:39.660 movement around how to do this like how to seduce men like this and then these women are like it's 1.00

00:00:44.680 all men are simpering pathetic dogs right and you're like well no you are able to bring that 1.00

00:00:53.400 personality out of any man because of the mechanisms that you are using to attract those men 0.94

00:00:59.940 yes the systems you are using can attract actually a broad range of men but they change those men's

00:01:09.780 personalities within the narrative context of your relationship because we do change our

00:01:13.820 personalities in different narrative contexts the way i act at work is different from the way i act

00:01:18.420 at home and so if you're creating a persistently similar narrative context you're going to create

00:01:24.900 a persistently similar person would you like to know more hello simone how's it going today good hi

00:01:33.640 malcolm i am excited to be here because today we are going to talk about thoughts not intellectually of

00:01:42.440 course t-h-o-t a hot woman who is vapid primarily interested in sex and who is apparently a major 1.00

00:01:52.700 problem for communities like the red pill community and a lot of these conservative intellectual spaces 0.92

00:01:59.780 there's a heavy emphasis a lot of them almost seem to be like a red pill diaspora where the men's

00:02:07.240 rights movement of like 20 years ago began to dissipate into like the big towers and the red

00:02:13.000 pillars and the the other types of pickup artists type people uh they begin to influence a lot of the

00:02:19.460 culture of news online right-leaning intellectual movements pretty heavily actually in the same way that sort

00:02:27.720 of the tumblr feminists ended up influencing a lot of progressive online cultures ah yes yes where this 1.00

00:02:35.600 gets really interesting is that thoughts in the real world the sort of thirsty manipulative women 1.00

00:02:43.980 like they're not actually a problem they're not a problem to most men and so the question is is why are

00:02:51.620 they perceived as such a problem by the red pill diaspora and i have a theory around this so i always found 1.00

00:03:01.760 the red pill community really interesting as did you i actually think you used to browse it more than i

00:03:05.880 did way more and they i think were fairly accurate in their understanding of female sexuality well it was

00:03:15.940 also the first community online where i really encountered a more economic analysis of of relationships

00:03:23.660 and dating strategy and sexual strategy which i think is a far better lens than the typical self-help

00:03:29.960 of a romance based analysis oh absolutely yeah and and and they were saying things that were

00:03:36.160 obviously true that people weren't happy to say which was things like actually if you look at

00:03:43.720 statistics the majority of women do prefer men with dark triad traits like narcissism and machiavellianism

00:03:50.700 and that if you like like in terms of sorry i'll use a different word so i won't get demonetized

00:03:57.640 in terms of submission and like in a bedroom context right the the majority not all but but women do 0.96

00:04:06.300 differentially prefer that and also stuff like muscle building right like oh if you if you get toned and you

00:04:14.520 spend time at the gym you will be more physically attractive to women and through these realizations

00:04:20.480 they began to be able to pick up more women than they were previously able to pick up and for young

00:04:28.040 men that is a major problem in life like in a way that i don't know if women can fully understand 1.00

00:04:34.980 just how much consternation this causes young men well i think there's another really big factor to like

00:04:40.920 the original traction that the community enjoyed which is that in general of a big premise of the red

00:04:46.980 pill etc community seemed to be that men have been told a lie that being a nice guy to women is not

00:04:53.300 going to get you sex and that that's just a very misleading and very damaging lie and here are these

00:05:00.000 various things you can do to actually get sex and i think to a certain extent those tactics work but also

00:05:07.720 i think part of it was just like encouraging men to be direct and assertive about their desire to have

00:05:12.340 sex with women like before i met you i never encountered a guy who was like clear about his

00:05:19.280 motives it was just like he kind of expected it seems like all guys kind of expected women to come

00:05:26.660 on to them somehow like they were never gonna say you were dating in san francisco right yeah which i

00:05:31.480 think is well this is a community that i think is most inundated with the exact opposite mindset

00:05:37.860 right but anyway i feel like that was a major factor of it was just like the fact that men

00:05:43.520 were suddenly being told oh guess what not being assertive not being direct isn't going to work for

00:05:52.560 you that even just that basic realization was really meaningful and impactful and i mean what are

00:05:58.240 your other thoughts on the red pill community if you're going to have more i i loved the the pessimism

00:06:05.060 of it i love like the concept of a waltz all women are like that but like there's this this this 0.99

00:06:12.180 animosity that i found to be very intriguing and a straw man of women that that was that was presented

00:06:18.180 was great i loved the the experimentation they'd have case studies remember no no field field reports

00:06:25.300 something like that yeah the lingo in general was great i don't know if using the lingo would get me

00:06:31.780 like get us demonetized like i don't know oh yeah you two probably have referred to the carousel

00:06:37.340 that women would ride oh well yeah but i just mean i i bet even like even if we say the term red pill in 1.00

00:06:43.500 the tags here we're probably going to get like delisted so we'll see but no i i agree with a lot of

00:06:49.140 what you're saying and i and i think a community i'd love to do a separate video on later it's a

00:06:53.020 mig tao community the men going their own way community yes yes but one of the things that i really

00:06:58.340 wanted to focus on here is an illusion the the walt illusion i guess i'd call it or the thought

00:07:04.480 illusion um yes yes like they're these women straw men they they are not representative like

00:07:11.780 why do they believe because i believe that this is their actual experience of women and so which is

00:07:17.420 back to what they figured out which was they figured out some ways to be sexually attractive to

00:07:26.380 women and it was actually very effective the the problem is if you go to a stream and you say this

00:07:34.820 stream only has catfish in it and then somebody points out well you're using a catfish lure of

00:07:40.220 course you're only catching catfish if the thing you are using to lure women is how attractive you are

00:07:49.840 going to be in bed to those women you are going to only lure women who go after guys based on how good 0.88

00:08:01.540 they are in bed this is where these thought women come from they come from this very narrow sliver of 1.00

00:08:12.540 women who is like oh i will go on a date with a guy because i want to have sex with that guy and 1.00

00:08:20.980 nothing else well and i think it's underrated just how unusual this this demographic is i i cannot think

00:08:31.500 of a single friend who was like fit this criteria like a hypergamous so person just wanted here i was

00:08:40.500 really good at getting women to sleep with me back in the day okay but you also weren't like a triangle

00:08:46.100 man chad no i wasn't but i had developed a lot of the systems and what i would say is is while i use

00:08:52.100 different systems to do it women enter a different psychological space depending on the mechanism you 1.00

00:09:00.160 have used to get them to want to like the lure you have used right to to catch that particular fish

00:09:06.940 and so the same woman who is dating you primarily because you are a bed partner for her versus a 1.00

00:09:14.420 woman who's dating you because she respects you will have a very different mental framing of that

00:09:20.020 relationship and her psychological profile within the relationship will be very different this is true

00:09:26.460 of men as well depending on why they're going out with a woman are you going out with a woman because 0.93

00:09:30.220 you think she's hot are you going out with a woman because you respect her you are going to act 0.98

00:09:34.960 very differently in those two relationships thoughts as like a a concept any woman can to 1.00

00:09:42.160 an extent become a thought if a guy is able to lure her using only his his body essentially body right

00:09:49.820 or but not just his body other things that cause attraction like power dynamics in his body power

00:09:55.280 dynamics but if it's if it's primarily because of attraction that she's dating you one of course she's

00:10:00.820 not gonna have loyalty to you she's she's not dating you because she respects you or likes you she's 1.00

00:10:06.180 dating you because you have maxed out an attraction metric of course she's going to go with the next 0.99

00:10:10.820 guy who offers more attraction to her right that's your value to her because that's what you sold to her 0.89

00:10:18.860 you didn't sell anything else you didn't sell a complete package all right so wait that's really

00:10:25.240 interesting what you're saying you're saying basically not only does the broad red pill strategy

00:10:33.660 tactic attract thoughts but it can literally create thoughts like it will train women who might 0.94

00:10:41.800 otherwise be very loyal partners who would be less hypergamous more committed better committed partners in 0.98

00:10:48.500 general to instead become unfaithful hypergamous game playing shit testing partners right exactly 0.98

00:10:57.780 because you have based your relationship off of their attraction to you and because of that that is 0.90

00:11:06.300 the value you have to them and i think that this is the thing we we have a twitter thread on this

00:11:13.620 but guys are right when they say the majority of women prefer to take on the submissive role in a 1.00

00:11:20.600 relationship right what they often get wrong when you're looking at like the red pill movement or

00:11:25.480 something like that is women are also human beings and when they take on a submissive role they want to 1.00

00:11:31.360 take on this submissive role not just in service to a guy's ego but towards some larger ideological

00:11:37.900 objective they want to work with a guy who they respect on some sort of bigger broader project with

00:11:47.200 their life not just the guy being tough and and doing whatever i mean i'm sure you could elaborate

00:11:53.360 on this more simone well yeah i mean a point that you've made is if a woman is going to devote her life

00:11:59.140 to someone like should probably be someone working on something meaningful if it's not then you as a

00:12:05.560 woman who's joined on to that team is wasting her time like um devoting her life to someone else's 1.00

00:12:11.940 vanity is kind of a waste of your life right yeah what type of woman decides to sign their entire this 1.00

00:12:20.720 one short life they have to being submissive to someone else only for attraction to that person

00:12:29.040 that's a thought like that's the very definition of a thought the type of person who would do that

00:12:34.240 and that's a very narrow psychological profile now this profile can be elicited from most people men

00:12:41.280 and women like suppose you trained a woman how to be like this aggressive sexy bombshell who was like 1.00

00:12:49.360 very forward and very good at playing men and everything like that and and this woman created

00:12:55.400 a whole movement around how to do this like how to seduce men like this and then these women are like 1.00

00:12:59.840 it's all men are simpering pathetic dogs right and you're like well no you are able to bring 0.97

00:13:09.040 that personality out of any man because of the mechanisms that you are using to attract those men 0.90

00:13:16.040 yes the systems you are using can attract actually a broad range of men but they change those men's

00:13:25.880 personalities within the narrative context of your relationship because we do change our

00:13:29.900 personalities in different narrative contexts the way i act at work is different from the way i act at

00:13:34.720 home and so if you're creating a persistently similar narrative context you're going to create a

00:13:41.240 persistently similar person and some of these guys will say well come on you can't be serious

00:13:47.420 women don't really date guys because they respect them because they want to work on projects with 1.00

00:13:56.340 them i don't know i'll let simone answer that oh 100 i mean i think people come to relationships with a 0.80

00:14:02.740 lot of different goals and contexts and you can choose what you want your lure to be essentially your

00:14:09.000 lure to draw someone in and i actually my first message to you on okcupid was about your startup

00:14:16.200 because you chose to use things that you worked on as potential conversation starters and your work

00:14:22.400 was one of those things one question i heard at some point was who who do you need to be to bring

00:14:29.380 out the person that you want someone else in a relationship to be like the way that you treat

00:14:33.000 someone and the way that you behave personally determines how people connect to you so i think the big 0.99

00:14:41.300 problem with the optimized red pill archetype is that it really brings out assholes and women 1.00

00:14:47.740 which is really bad well and there's a way for women to attract people that brings out assholes and 1.00

00:14:52.620 men this isn't like a 100 and i mean one thing that we talk about in the relationships book that we wrote 0.91

00:14:57.680 is the extent to which you know begins on both sides with what you call proto abuse he's like

00:15:04.020 typically small like technically harmless technically not not bad or not toxic ending the conversation in the

00:15:10.940 middle of the conversation for example because i just walking out of the room total control over

00:15:15.560 how that conversation has happened which is a means of non-consensually exercising control over the

00:15:20.040 other person and those sorts of things simmer and create bigger problems in the future but it also

00:15:25.320 it draws out certain behavioral patterns in someone else well and i think the reason why for example 0.71

00:15:30.380 shit testing is something that women are accused of doing a lot by red pillars or by just generally that 1.00

00:15:38.280 broad group i don't even know how big the red pill is anymore i've not been paying attention enough 0.97

00:15:42.900 is that if you are primarily offering power dynamics and male dominance as your value proposition in a

00:15:52.260 relationship of course a woman or whatever partner you have with you is going to be validating that or

00:15:58.880 exercising that i wouldn't even say like literally trying to de-seat you they're they're they're enjoying it

00:16:05.580 like how can you enjoy a power dynamic how can you maximize this value proposition if you are not

00:16:12.500 pushing the boundary to the extent where it shows up again so if a woman's coming to you and she loves

00:16:17.140 the power dynamic and now you guys are in a relationship together if she wants that power 1.00

00:16:22.580 dynamic she's going to have to push a little bit to get you to demonstrate the fun dominance thing that 1.00

00:16:28.020 she really loves so like that's what you're selling yeah yeah you're selling and so she she signed up for

00:16:33.600 the for the lion show and now she's asking for the lion show again and she has to poke the lion for him

00:16:40.300 to growl or whatever you know what i mean like but normal but but something that should also be clear 0.94

00:16:44.740 is in normal healthy relationships shit tests aren't rare they just don't happen right right they

00:16:53.240 that's not like a thing that like normal healthy adults do it's a weird attraction dynamic

00:17:00.600 that you have created through the value proposition you offered given that you were optimized around

00:17:07.500 this framing but the framing is useful this dominant framing is an arbitrage opportunity given how few guys

00:17:13.580 demonstrate that really effectively in our society today yeah i mean you can arbitrage meaning that you

00:17:19.940 are offering something that very few other people in the marketplace are offering and so yeah like

00:17:23.900 you can attract women who might be actually out of your league by doing that but out of the league of 0.99

00:17:30.680 the real you in the same way that women can get men who are out of the league of the types of partners who

00:17:37.500 will settle for the real them but who are willing to sleep with them right a man can get a woman who's out 0.97

00:17:43.720 of the league of like being in a real relationship with them but who will date them for this power

00:17:49.000 dynamic fantasy that they're creating um but then you need to what be in frame for the rest of your

00:17:54.580 life till you die like that sounds miserable that is not you did not win you trapped yourself in a

00:18:02.560 cage it's like congratulations you played yourself you never get to be yourself again for the rest of

00:18:08.600 your life but you get to show off an attractive woman for the next oh i mean okay in defense of the 1.00

00:18:16.700 red pill there's a lot of like overlap between red pill men's rights mctow etc and stoicism and i do

00:18:24.580 think that a forcing function like let's say a thought female partner who forces you to always 1.00

00:18:30.060 maintain frame also forces a certain level of constant self-discipline that might be appreciated

00:18:35.580 by someone of this community because they appreciate how they are forced to be kept sharp so i'm just

00:18:41.400 i think that anyone actually maintains frame well that's no no i'm genuine here i think that

00:18:47.020 it is very hard to maintain that type of frame without becoming abusive i think this is where

00:18:51.620 you get like the steve crowders and stuff like that that is no i'm not sure i'm not sure so i'm

00:18:56.340 going to push back again i think if you end up with like a trad wife who just really likes being 1.00

00:19:00.480 submissive and and because i so there are thoughts and then there are trad wives and i think thoughts 0.57

00:19:04.940 regularly like want to push back like they're more like the brat dynamic right because they're

00:19:11.740 interested in a constant power dynamic i don't think trad wives want a constant power dynamic 1.00

00:19:16.440 yeah they don't well and also like trad wives are not going to be interested in sleeping with chads 1.00

00:19:22.140 because they know that chads are not going to commit trad wives are not going after dark triad trait 1.00

00:19:26.840 males well that's here's the other thing is it's really interesting to me how small a sliver

00:19:32.520 of the like the sort of ideal red pill male is of interest to female populations like none of the

00:19:40.980 friends that i grew up with went to college with etc were attracted to this archetype and yes i was

00:19:48.580 friends with nerdy people nerdy smart people this archetype can get these i i guarantee you they can get

00:19:53.980 these women to sleep with them they just cannot get these women to sleep with them and stay safe 1.00

00:19:58.040 and it's it's the same with the trad wife thing women in this trad wife mindset they are not with 1.00

00:20:04.720 a guy because that guy is is attractive that is not the power dynamic you sell to bring out a trad wife

00:20:11.660 in a person or to have like a stable trad wife relationship you what brings out a stable trad wife

00:20:17.300 relationship is being a good dad that's what a trad wife wants they want a good no it's true more than

00:20:23.720 it is it is and they also they also want a husband to serve so they they had there has to be a level

00:20:28.140 of confidence there has to be a level of dominance yeah and here's an interesting we talk about the

00:20:33.160 lure you use in the framing of the initial relationship so we can talk about our early

00:20:37.100 relationship as an example of that so you look at our early relationship and it was completely based

00:20:41.880 around the company that we were starting together and what that framed for us that you reached out to me

00:20:49.660 about starting a company that we were constantly talking about career and company and and building

00:20:55.780 something like that it meant that a lot of the dynamics that we came into and what we were offering

00:21:03.240 each other was competence intelligence curiosity and work ethic because that is specifically starting a

00:21:09.340 company was in a complementary complementary skill sets in that i was able to do things you weren't able

00:21:14.680 to do and you were able to do things i was not able to do so it was complementary skill sets

00:21:18.660 working on entrepreneurial endeavors together while also being like compatible as romantic partners

00:21:25.120 and friends um yeah but but what that means is that for you or me to go after someone else given the

00:21:32.780 framing of our relationship right early in our relationship what would have caused us to go for

00:21:37.840 somebody else is finding a more competent individual right somebody who is harder working or smarter or

00:21:42.900 something like that right but what's interesting about that kind of relationship is that it is

00:21:49.360 one you invest in to an extent so because we have like literally invested in similar projects together over a long

00:21:58.160 period of time the differential value i have to you and you have to me could not be replicated by another person who was just

00:22:07.860 marginally better than me or you so it comes down to aligned incentives

00:22:12.880 each party is leaning who was 50 smarter than you 50 harder working than you the amount i would have to

00:22:21.380 give up in just our like companies and public image to try to start over with this person would make it outside 0.68

00:22:30.240 of any emotions i feel for you just a terrible prospect yeah but you're talking about sunk costs i'm talking

00:22:36.960 about aligned incentives and by that i mean when you are working with someone toward shared values shared

00:22:44.100 goals shared companies whatever it might be it might even be just creating a family and a life together

00:22:48.460 like in a more trad way yeah that there is not this same kind of constant friction when you're looking at a

00:22:55.800 typical red pill relationship it's very extractive on both ends so for the women who are attracted to those

00:23:02.140 relationships it is to what extent am i getting the dominance displays the the other sorts of experiences and

00:23:09.660 scenes that i want from this relationship sort of the drama the thrill the new relationship energy the feelings of

00:23:16.320 threats and then for the men it's to what extent can i have one or many super hot female partners that like

00:23:24.700 really respect and validate me essentially and those are both very individualized and in extractive

00:23:31.480 approaches and those are not aligned incentives and so that also makes these relationships inherently

00:23:36.500 unstable and there's it's funny because to what to one extent like pickup artistry red pill etc is very

00:23:44.980 very good at looking at incentives and very very good at recognizing misaligned incentives and yet there's

00:23:50.300 no discussion of okay wait then how do we make aligned and how do we make stable relationships or both

00:23:56.180 partners are working toward the same thing or something bigger than themselves it's like they can't get out

00:24:00.760 of this atomization and and selfhood that is ultimately leaving them more isolated than they ever would be

00:24:08.540 it's it's interesting i i could not have said it better than that i think that's a really good way to put it and

00:24:15.040 and this is what creates this thought problem where it is literally what they are turning the women in 1.00

00:24:22.300 society into that they're interacting with now it is true you know if you look at like divorce laws or

00:24:27.360 something like that and be like yeah well women have such an advantage it's really the legal system 1.00

00:24:32.060 which is turning them into these monsters but i think that that misunderstands how screwed a woman is 1.00

00:24:40.580 in a long-term relationship in that a woman's sort of value on the marketplace in terms of the types of 1.00

00:24:45.860 guys she can get goes down much more dramatically as they age than a man's so if a woman starts dating 1.00

00:24:52.140 a guy in her mid-20s and then that guy divorces her when she hits 45 you could be like oh well she got

00:25:00.300 all this money and stuff that he worked for how terrible is that but she's not going to get another

00:25:05.460 partner of his quality whereas he can get another partner of equal quality so well men men enjoy in

00:25:12.340 terms of the typical value propositions like men are more of a resources and dominance kind of offering

00:25:18.980 whereas women are more of a youth and fertility offering so you get cumulative advantages as a man 0.93

00:25:25.560 especially if you accumulate wealth and confidence over time whereas as a woman like you spend your 0.97

00:25:32.200 youth and it's gone once your fertility window is passed it's gone like you're not getting it back

00:25:37.620 and then you're even worse off from even just a like basic survival standpoint well i love how how

00:25:43.580 like it's weird that there's like this faction of our society that like they know that like they know

00:25:48.480 deep down that like it is harder for an older woman to get a partner right but they're like how can 1.00

00:25:53.720 you say that that's so offensive like all women are equally valuable and it's like well i mean you don't 0.99

00:25:58.780 literally think that all women can get the same men do you like you you understand that there is a

00:26:04.440 differential value even if it's just socially that we place on these things but the larger point i was

00:26:09.360 making here is from the red pill perspective is that you can often over focus on just the way that guys get

00:26:16.580 screwed in relationships and miss the the system any system in which leaving a partner is possible

00:26:24.780 really screws over both genders and that you need more sort of sunk cost within relationships 0.69

00:26:31.620 and social structures that make it very unlikely that or at least more costly to leave a person and

00:26:39.760 we just don't have those in society these days but in addition to that you like the best defense against

00:26:45.420 any of these things as a man or as a woman is to more carefully screen your partner up front

00:26:50.840 and make sure you understand the value proposition you're offering them as opposed to just getting the

00:26:57.920 best possible partner you can get agreed well i love you i'm glad that you she came after me when we were

00:27:06.640 when i was on the dating market i did i reached out to you she was in she was she was like optimizing

00:27:11.680 her profile around nerds so she was in full stormtrooper armor in it and i had seen her profile before but i thought 0.97

00:27:17.840 that she was hiding that she was fat because i i'm that kind of cynic that's not how the plating

00:27:23.340 works like if i were if i were huge you would tell like the little rounded like plate plates would not 0.77

00:27:28.840 fit over my legs fat a little fat i thought you were a little fat a little you see you couldn't handle 0.58

00:27:34.500 a little fat some baby simone simone well thank goodness

00:27:41.200 and it's hey we all have preferences we all have preferences okay no no this this goes both ways i

00:27:48.720 put the fat clause in our marriage contracts oh yeah she did she gets to ban me from things if i get 0.99

00:27:54.440 too fat now of course i can do that for her too but like i i will never i will never know but but i'm

00:27:59.700 like the way i eat the fat clause i have accidentally tripped yeah i i have imposed the fat clause on you

00:28:06.000 a couple times i have never tripped the fat wire because i weigh and measure all of my food

00:28:11.640 i'll tell you the meanest clause in our relationship contract because we did put together a contract

00:28:18.800 we're like okay let's and this is what we mean when i'm like find out everything that can go wrong

00:28:22.740 before the relationship so something doesn't come up later that causes the problem in your relationship

00:28:26.460 so we just interviewed a bunch of people about everything that had gone wrong in their

00:28:29.980 relationships and then like like 100 people or something and and made sort of a list and we're

00:28:34.980 like let's discuss how we will handle every one of these scenarios like suppose one of our parents

00:28:38.960 needs a place to live suppose you know how what's the appropriate temperature but of all of these the

00:28:46.980 most evil one and and she did this to me the boat clause the boat clause which is i can't just go out

00:28:54.900 and buy a boat i cannot she cannot wake up one morning and and see a boat in our yard and what 0.93

00:29:01.160 this actually applies to is any i think purchase over ten thousand dollars i cannot buy without the

00:29:07.660 veto permission of the other partner no no it's it's it's a size it's a size thing in the contract

00:29:12.820 because we each have discretionary spending that like oh okay yeah yes i don't care if you are like

00:29:19.420 buying puppies and drowning them like per our contract that's fine what isn't okay is a large

00:29:25.860 pieces of property that affect both of us and are like just just big eyesores the boat is in our yard

00:29:32.960 cannot it also applies to pools apparently that's the other yeah because it's a size thing like again

00:29:39.080 like you can't you can't spend discretionary money on a giant money hole eyesore that will sit there

00:29:46.040 and collect dust that's gonna be what destroys our relationship one day i'm gonna i'm gonna come

00:29:51.720 back to the house with a giant used sailboat and it'll just be sitting in our yard well i think that's

00:29:58.560 the fun thing about relationship contracts and something that's important in negotiating them

00:30:02.720 right it's that a lot of people assume that the punishment for breaking a clause in a relationship

00:30:09.540 contract is i will leave you right or like i don't know but really like the primary consequence is

00:30:16.720 this is written and this is gonna really really hurt the other person's feelings or reduce their

00:30:21.940 quality of life in a meaningful way and if you pull a bunch of this probably they're gonna leave

00:30:27.000 the relationship but like just know that really this isn't like oh i have to leave like if if you

00:30:32.020 cheat in this way then don't do the i'm gonna leave thing in a relationship is the moment you don't do

00:30:37.540 that if that was one of your rules and that was the primary thing enforcing your rules then none of

00:30:43.100 the other rules matter anymore because now everybody knows that you're not gonna leave yeah and and it 0.79

00:30:48.640 just makes you look pathetic but if if the rules are hey that'll really hurt me well then what you're

00:30:55.540 using to well prevent them from doing it is the knowledge of how it will make you feel which is 0.98

00:31:00.760 which is both honest intrinsically you're going to react that way but in many ways it's like much more

00:31:06.900 immoral to break a clause out of how it will make the other person feel versus it's a little more

00:31:14.620 fair like with the fat clause it's understood given our personal aesthetics that if the other partner

00:31:21.420 gets fat we're not going to find them physically attractive we're not going to want to bang them

00:31:26.000 as much like it's gross to us and to each his own and that's i i prefer that to like someone not having 0.76

00:31:33.120 that kind of clause in a relationship contract and then one partner getting a little rotund

00:31:37.140 and then being really disappointed that the other partner isn't interested that's a really good point

00:31:42.720 yeah i mean i'm really glad you know that when i trip that clause when you let me know when i'm about

00:31:47.080 to trip it you you you'll let me know when when you're making the call nobody's it's really helpful

00:31:52.620 because well because here's how it would go otherwise right it's like i had an expectation that you

00:31:56.620 would like me if i was no longer yeah because the way it normally works right is one partner gets a

00:32:01.780 little fat they let themselves go like aesthetically it doesn't have to be about fatness it could be

00:32:05.440 like maybe they just stop wearing nice clothes or they stop showering as much and they start to smell

00:32:09.220 and then like what happens is then the other partner stops banging them or showing interest in

00:32:15.380 them the same way they're not taking initiative anymore and then partner number one starts being

00:32:20.240 like oh like why are they ignoring me like they're being so mean and then it's sort of like that trips

00:32:24.080 other unwritten contract violations like i want you to make me feel loved i want you to make me feel

00:32:30.240 pretty and so like there's this sort of spiraling back and forth is all these unspoken like parts of

00:32:36.740 relationship contracts are violated right and then it falls apart but you know what malcolm we should

00:32:41.440 have a separate chat about relationship contracts absolutely and i love you simone i i am so glad you

00:32:47.680 found me yes well and speaking of submission i need to go preheat the oven and put in baked potatoes

00:32:53.300 and brussels sprouts so let's go do that i love you malcolm

00:32:56.900 you

00:32:57.940 you

00:33:01.540 you

00:33:03.540 you

00:33:05.540 you

00:33:07.540 you

00:33:09.540 you

00:33:11.540 you

Based Camp - June 11, 2023

Based Camp： The THOT Police

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