Based Camp - Book ＂Marry & Submit＂ Goes Viral (Leftists & Bishops Start Book Burning)

00:00:00.000 Hello, Simone! I'm excited to be here with you today. Today, we are going to be talking about a couple books that became bestsellers in the Spanish-speaking world, particularly in Spain, and caused a huge controversy.

00:00:13.720 Like just now? Like in 2026?

00:00:15.720 Actually, they were released in 2011, and they have increased. Almost immediately, they became the top seller on Amazon.

00:00:21.800 And then they've been increasingly trying to ban them for a really long time. They've been doing these big things where they walk around town and rip them apart.

00:00:30.000 and you'll understand why when you hear their name walk around town and rip them apart the name of

00:00:34.940 the first book which is for women and is popular amongst women it's not like unpopular amongst men

00:00:40.060 is called marry and be submissive and women apparently really like this book and then the

00:00:46.180 second book which is for men and surprisingly people haven't been protesting is lay down your

00:00:53.060 life for her and the they're they're written as a as a i also love it too like they're like oh

00:00:59.220 what's asked of women in the women's book first of all they're like oh it's abusive i i looked

00:01:04.420 into it as much as i could nowhere in the book is abuse mentioned anywhere but they act as if the

00:01:09.680 book is promoting physical abuse simply because it asks women to be to submit to their husbands

00:01:14.960 as the bible says this is a very catholic book written by catholics and i'm what i want to take

00:01:19.980 this episode to do is to one go over the key points of the book to sort of better understand

00:01:26.340 the message is trying to convey why this is resonating with so many women in these countries

00:01:31.460 and then go over well and while we're doing it go over where i disagree and i'd actually say that

00:01:38.980 most of the areas i or no literally all of the areas in which i disagree with the book it is a

00:01:44.560 mere cultural disagreement about the role of women in a family which in catholic culture is simply

00:01:51.560 more submissive than it is in the various cultural traditions of the united states so 0.97

00:01:57.340 that's that's what we'll go into a side note by the way the woman who wrote this is both

00:02:02.400 very pro natalist she has a lot of kids and she appears to be a really sweet person my four

00:02:08.680 children i'm at lesson number two so the cat is under the table so i'm sorry and i i don't know

00:02:17.720 the coloring the word has in English, but I don't use it in a negative way. It's a word taken from

00:02:25.220 the letter of Sample to the Ephesians, and it doesn't mean in any way being like a doormat

00:02:35.120 for the husband. I use it in the etymological sense of being beneath or underneath, and so

00:02:43.800 providing the support like a column supports a roof but let's go over some of the lines that

00:02:50.560 they've been freaking out about okay lines like like humiliation because it is for the greater

00:02:57.680 good and then to listen to your husband's words as if god is speaking now what we're going to go

00:03:04.860 into here is actually the first one that everyone's been freaking out about which is like humiliation

00:03:09.640 is an intentional mistranslation that people have been using to freak out about the book

00:03:14.760 and they've been quoting that line even in spanish it could look like the word humiliation

00:03:19.800 but the actual word is and you're familiar with the word probably simone mortification

00:03:24.700 is the word that's used here come on and so it goes we like mortification because it for it is

00:03:32.940 for achieving a greater good and that greater good is to welcome your husband and therefore

00:03:38.700 were to give birth to yourself again regenerate yourself that is not a particularly offensive

00:03:44.000 how are they mistranslating that isn't it mortification like how do you like

00:03:47.860 they're semi-cognates you can't wait is that how can this be are they just being that

00:03:54.660 crazy and in trying to so for people who don't know simone speaks fluent spanish that's why

00:04:00.280 she's freaking i'm just checking but i'm i don't know i don't use that i use other language when i

00:04:05.060 so mortification spanish yeah mortification okay so there's no way you can misinterpret that like

00:04:13.020 so even you if you heard that as a spanish speaker if you saw the word

00:04:18.820 what do you think it means i mean not humiliate i mean i i would think yeah you think it means

00:04:27.820 mortification because it's a semi-cognitive oh because it's a semi-cognitive to the word in

00:04:32.620 english mortification well most people don't know the word mortification in english

00:04:36.060 i mean i always think of it as sort of a catholic thing but english so in in catholic

00:04:43.280 spiritual language or spanish more broadly mortification is the traditional term it does

00:04:48.500 not mean enjoying physical or sexual humiliation abuse or degradation you refer to the deliberate

00:04:53.380 practice of denying one's own will pride ego or immediate comfort for higher spiritual purpose

00:04:59.420 following christ growing in virtue and loving others more selflessly classic examples include

00:05:04.820 accepting small daily inconveniences biting one's tongue and accepting correction without

00:05:09.800 defensiveness or putting someone else's preferences first which is kind of a great advice for a woman

00:05:16.880 getting into a marriage right yeah like but what what i find so fascinating about this backlash

00:05:23.440 and this absolute panic some of which has come from the catholic church as well we'll have a few

00:05:28.180 bishops here quotes from them about how this doesn't reflect the church's teachings to women

00:05:33.300 at all and like no it kind of does first of all but i mean at least the traditional church's

00:05:39.120 teachings maybe not whatever you're teaching like whatever the church is doing today but you know

00:05:44.060 traditionally the book really doesn't if you go into it it's this is not like 50 shades of gray

00:05:50.200 which did not get these protests or anything like that it's it's literally just telling both

00:05:55.040 husbands and wives that you need to dedicate your life to your partner and to being a good partner

00:06:02.360 to your partner actually only to wives to wives this is be submission to men it says lay down 1.00

00:06:06.580 your entire life for your wife right most of which i think are fairly good pieces of advice

00:06:10.740 but the what's fascinating is that leftists and even some people on the right have been speaking

00:06:17.220 against this because this has gone over the party line in despite being a bestseller are saying

00:06:22.140 that this book represents violence and abuse to women what is interesting is what they are showing

00:06:30.540 there is the idea of a woman being or submitting to her husband is the idea that they found

00:06:40.020 violence yeah well that that a woman would sublimate herself i think more broadly that

00:06:45.560 a woman would sublimate herself to anyone except her own personal hedonic desires so i mean also

00:06:53.480 a woman a woman subligating herself or sorry sublimating herself to god for example that 0.57

00:07:00.640 would also be bad sublimating yourself to children sublimating yourself to god so anything

00:07:06.580 aside from like your own status identity and comfort is actually bad it's it's funny that

00:07:14.500 you mention that because i think you just hit on something that's very spiritually true about the

00:07:20.480 urban monoculture but i had never isolated it so loud which is to say you know if you are a

00:07:27.320 christian right you submit to god right like if you're a you know muslim you submit to allah if

00:07:33.840 you're a right whatever thing you are it generally involves some degree of submission yeah to that 0.89

00:07:40.620 thing oh it should if you're doing it should yes the the urban monoculture literally treats

00:07:47.480 personal desires because that's what you're submissive to as they are god it is it is

00:07:55.760 literally a religious and theological framework downstream of the most pure form of hedonism

00:08:07.480 impossible i had never really thought about hedonism historically because i thought of it

00:08:13.580 as just like well do the thing it's just like you do the things that make you feel good but it is

00:08:18.000 actually a form of worship of pleasure yeah i think that's accurate yeah pleasure here being

00:08:30.580 you know what what what is that at the end of the day it's sort of like eat from their own

00:08:35.480 perspective the things that led to your ancestors having more surviving offspring than other than

00:08:43.280 their peers right like a very but it's interesting to me as well as as how hollow pleasure is within

00:08:51.400 an entirely secular perspective and yet to still pedestalize it to that extent like that was the

00:08:59.120 realization that basically put me down the whole path to like my modern philosophical framing and

00:09:04.680 I've always really struggled with how so many people just are like, well, feeling good is

00:09:09.840 obviously an intrinsically good thing, right? Like I've always been very surprised by that,

00:09:14.660 but let's give you a very interesting point here, Simone. So the book is written very

00:09:19.640 interestingly. It's like a series of like anecdotes about her life and very, very catholically. We'll

00:09:25.040 get to that in a second. Like it's, it's not a structured book. It's not like even a list of

00:09:28.780 advice. That sounds like a very, very common self-help format. You would just never know

00:09:33.180 because I don't think you've ever read a single self-help book in your life.

00:09:36.380 Oh yeah. And quotes from the Bible, specifically Ephesians 5 dynamic is what it's all about,

00:09:42.160 where husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for

00:09:47.460 her. So literally asking for self-sacrifice on behalf of the husband, which I find so interesting

00:09:52.400 that just like nobody's like, it's asking men to go too far. So let's go over all the points in it

00:09:56.220 and talk about where we agree, where we disagree. And first of all, on the male,

00:10:03.180 framing here i i would like and we'll get to the the points they make in the book for men as well

00:10:09.300 i will note that yes this is a biblical framework for how to treat your your life and your

00:10:16.540 relationship as a male but i think it's also important to remember that there are things

00:10:21.100 biblical or non-biblically framed that are more important than your partner which is

00:10:28.020 from my perspective your shared goals and i think that there is a and your children your children

00:10:34.460 are more important than your partner and your shared goals 100 yeah and i think that it is

00:10:40.280 possible to accidentally overly end up focusing on these questions these framings as they relate

00:10:49.420 to your partner like if you as a male live your entire life just dedicated to your wife right

00:10:57.120 Rather than you and your wife's shared goals, I think you've lived a pretty selfish life,

00:11:02.100 if I'm going to be honest.

00:11:02.840 But what's interesting is I don't think that you can truly dedicate your entire life to

00:11:08.000 your wife and still have that life have been a positive one from the perspective of even

00:11:14.880 dedicating to her because what does it mean to dedicate your life to her?

00:11:18.180 To dedicate your life to her pleasure?

00:11:19.560 Like, obviously, that's not what's being talked about here, right?

00:11:22.700 it's it's it's her goals for herself within the wider sort of moral framing that you both have 0.98

00:11:29.580 as a married couple which would presumably because you're not in the urban monoculture

00:11:34.160 are not just her pleasure and her desires presumably yeah so the first core point that

00:11:40.960 the book makes is men and women have equal dignity but are profoundly different complementary not

00:11:47.140 sameness share you that treating the sexes as interchangeable creates frustration and

00:11:50.800 unhappiness women are naturally oriented towards reception relationship and support and men towards

00:11:56.860 initiative guidance and outward action just so funny to me that people make this point now

00:12:02.180 like even just a hundred years ago or like a hundred years ago and beyond if someone if we

00:12:10.420 had to tell someone look this is this is an important point to make to people in our time

00:12:14.640 they're going to be like are you guys what happened no like they would think that you 0.88

00:12:19.580 had to make the point that you would even mention this yeah like you might be mentally ill yeah as 0.97

00:12:25.040 the future of humanity just they would we we are idiocracy this is idiocracy and we pointed out in 0.97

00:12:32.560 another episode if you look at preferences for different sorts of chores and tasks around the 1.00

00:12:38.220 house and everything like that women typically prefer the preferences that most like they prefer

00:12:43.160 cleaning they prefer cooking they prefer a few other things yeah we did a whole episode on that

00:12:46.620 it was it was really interesting the research that was done yeah the things that we think of

00:12:50.600 as stereotypically female are stereotypically female because on average women prefer those

00:12:55.220 things i i will note in in relation to all of this is that not all women obviously there there

00:13:02.900 are outliers we often push the idea of we call a a sword and shield marriage which is one partner

00:13:09.980 does the boring, more stable thing or work. And the other partner does the more likely to raise

00:13:17.580 the entire status of the family work. I mean, I often use going a Viking as a way to do this, 0.85

00:13:21.800 where the Viking wife stays home and tends the farm, and then the husband goes and goes raiding 0.92

00:13:26.940 and does the risky thing. Or this could be, you know, building an online career as an influencer. 0.57

00:13:33.020 this could be you know uh societal engagement this could be entrepreneurial type work now

00:13:41.040 obviously simone and i are pretty bad at sword and shield we're just like sword and sword which

00:13:45.440 creates challenges for us right because it means we don't have the fallback position that a lot of

00:13:51.480 families have however if we ever fell into that position which really needed us you know you would

00:13:56.920 take on the shield role it's very obvious within a relationship and i was talking to the fan about

00:14:01.700 this once and they seemed like embarrassed that like well in our relationship i the woman would

00:14:07.360 be more likely to take on the the sword position and my husband would be more likely to take on

00:14:12.300 the shield position and this is where i'd be like no that's like totally okay it's especially in our 1.00

00:14:17.920 society where women have a leg up in job markets often or even in certain sectors of investing and

00:14:24.000 everything like it makes sense yeah it often makes sense in fact that's what simona and i

00:14:28.960 did historically is I sort of wore her face and did all the work. I've noticed this about a lot

00:14:33.220 of female entrepreneurs. Yeah. Well, you present the asset that has the most, the greatest odds 1.00

00:14:38.920 of success, but as a married couple, you get to interchange what's behind the mask. It's amazing.

00:14:43.940 Yeah. Well, this is also an interesting point here, which we'll get to in regards to

00:14:48.360 submission. Actually, let's get to the submission part and we can, we can talk about this.

00:14:52.660 Submission means freely choosing to be the foundation that holds the family up, not 0.99

00:14:56.480 inferiority passivity or being a doormat the italian or spanish word she uses literally means

00:15:01.840 placed under she redefines it as strong elastic patient role of supporting everyone else

00:15:06.980 it is a voluntary gift of self not forced obedience so again here the way that my wife and i

00:15:17.240 relate to each other i am the end voice in everything right like i my decision is the

00:15:25.940 final call at everything so in that respect she is submissive to me in the relationship right

00:15:34.300 that said i would have two points here one is while i would say usually or maybe almost always

00:15:43.780 the man should have that role i do not think always the man should have that role i think

00:15:49.920 that there are some relationships i have seen where it is obvious to both of them that the

00:15:56.500 woman is smarter and has more emotional control now basically the person who is smarter and has

00:16:01.720 more emotional control should always be the backdrop and i'm sure pretty much anyone listening

00:16:06.420 to this podcast can think of a couple in which that's what's going on yeah and that's what's

00:16:11.780 going on and and you know what's really funny about these couples as well most of the ones

00:16:15.940 that i know the woman actually still takes on a submissive role she just has the last say in 1.00

00:16:20.540 everything um so i'm gonna divide this into two things here who has the final call and submission

00:16:28.360 was in the relationship right like the the submissive role was in the relationship here's

00:16:33.320 where i'm gonna say i actually do believe that women should always take on the submissive role

00:16:39.560 in the relationship and i will explain why because it goes again you know a lot of the time i try to

00:16:44.160 be very well you know not everyone is necessarily made that way not everyone is blah blah even women

00:16:50.380 who naturally let's say are dominant women be that they prefer to be in a dominant position

00:16:58.240 vis-a-vis their partner or they are aroused by being in a dominant position vis-a-vis their

00:17:02.220 partner i think if they do that in the relationship itself they will begin to respect the partner less

00:17:11.140 over time and eventually no longer be interested in the partner i actually think rick and morty

00:17:19.200 does a good job with this in the way it treats jerry's relationship with with his wife in the

00:17:24.440 you know she sees him as like a sniffling worm after after a long period of time here we have

00:17:28.940 gar and zarvidar gloom or should i say here we have the way gar and zarvidar perceive each other

00:17:35.100 no that's what makes us better than them we can find solutions we can adapt we can communicate

00:17:45.300 and most importantly we can work together and people can say why why don't men do this with

00:17:58.120 their women why do if a woman is submissive to a man in a relationship for a long period of time

00:18:03.180 why don't they begin to see her as lesser and i think it's just the way the social roles are

00:18:09.160 structured and the way that we are socialized to see them and somebody can be like well then

00:18:13.860 create a new social whatever way of seeing way of contextualizing and i'd respond like

00:18:20.600 i mean you can try but like you didn't grow up in it it's going to be very very difficult for you

00:18:28.180 right like it's it's really putting a lot of risk on an experiment that doesn't have any okay so

00:18:35.800 another note i'd be here is some people will be like well not all women like to be submissive

00:18:42.020 and i will be honest here like just thinking through as somebody who slept around a ton

00:18:48.460 who's dated a ton of people in my entire life. And I'm saying in my entire life. So like literally,

00:18:59.600 you know, 150 people in terms of like relationship experience. And then if you add, you know,

00:19:05.680 other people I've just met as friends, talked to, gotten to know deeply, we're probably talking

00:19:10.160 about a pool of like 300 people I've gotten to know enough to know this. I've never met a single

00:19:13.880 woman who didn't to some degree like being in the submissive role have you simone like i'm 1.00

00:19:20.340 actually thinking here yes but they're non-binary so

00:19:30.400 yeah yeah yeah just one person so one person right so the the point here being more broadly

00:19:41.120 is it's just like the people being like well not all women are like this is one thing where i'd be

00:19:45.800 like almost all women are comfortable with a submissive role in a relationship and again why

00:19:52.560 but what does that mean submission to her likely was in this this catholic framework was in the

00:19:59.760 the is likely significantly more and we'll get to this it is more of a true form of submission

00:20:05.360 right like at the end of the day not just is her husband the backstop for all ideas but she is

00:20:12.080 submissive to him in all things in our relationship and often in the culture of because we've had

00:20:19.040 episodes where we studied american relationships going back to america's founding of different

00:20:22.780 cultural groups submission the the role the submissive role that women take looks very very

00:20:29.620 different and is much closer to the supporting position in a partnership which i think it goes

00:20:38.100 against what a lot of people would intuit when a lot of guys right like if you're an american guy

00:20:42.400 and you're going out there and you're looking for a girl of the american cultural set that's

00:20:47.360 probably going to be what she wants and expects and i think that that's totally fine like those

00:20:52.400 relationships like our relationship for example works spectacularly well but I never think about

00:21:00.440 Simone submitting to me because she without any sort of framing from me in that direction

00:21:09.120 is just always proactively working to help me my our family and our goals that it never feels like

00:21:19.540 the word submission is really a good fit for what you're doing there well i think what some other

00:21:25.940 people who listen to the podcast had said is that like a genuinely dominant in this context husband

00:21:31.200 yeah but this person's a husband too would would never like demand or ask for a submission like

00:21:37.140 if anyone does that they're not dominant it is just a natural order that folds out you know like

00:21:44.680 a crystalline structure yeah that's actually a good a good point yeah and as a husband in terms

00:21:51.820 of how you relate to this it is above all else out of appreciation and gratitude for her dedicated

00:22:03.780 and continuous work on behalf of the family that motivates my selfless devotion to her and our

00:22:11.480 family's goals it like moves that forwards she talks about this as a virtuous cycle but for those

00:22:16.980 who have not experienced it it is genuinely a very natural and easy virtuous cycle to fall into

00:22:23.600 one person and and it's also a truly evil thing to break this cycle right for me for example to

00:22:32.680 begin exploiting her constant dedication to myself to the family to you know also for and this

00:22:40.000 actually i think happens a lot more than that exploitation or maybe that exploitation happens

00:22:45.120 sometimes it's talked about a lot on social media so you don't need to worry about whistleblowers

00:22:49.340 not being out there but what happens often is one woman in a friend group will just get this in her 0.91

00:22:56.100 head that she resents this and then try to get all of her female friends to sort of become like

00:23:03.160 incept them with this idea as well and it just starts to ruin the entire like everyone's everyone's 1.00

00:23:09.420 relationships unless someone else puts it to a stop because often like women soft disagree to 0.99

00:23:14.920 begin with yeah but don't want to express it because they're agreeable and they want to be 0.95

00:23:18.460 nice and then in the end it just can make everyone resent their their marriages and ruin their

00:23:23.100 marriages which is probably why one of the main reasons why a good rule of thumb around this

00:23:28.240 is don't be friends with people who don't like their partners yeah who are in 100p marriages

00:23:33.300 um no it's just it's not a it's not a there's there's very little benefit to you that's going

00:23:39.100 to come from being friends if somebody chose a partner and they don't like the person they chose

00:23:45.660 that to me says an awful lot about the person who chose that partner in that particular mindset

00:23:51.060 i mean maybe they've emotionally grown since then maybe they psychologically grown since then and

00:23:56.180 and they are incompatible now because they weren't really thinking when they when they

00:24:00.200 chose the individual and stuff like that but at that point it's then leave right like the active

00:24:05.180 being in a negative relationship and then you know incepting other people with that which which

00:24:10.720 does happen people who don't like their partners are very confused by people who do like their

00:24:16.940 partners and they often believe as we've seen with our relationship in terms of talking to

00:24:21.680 reporters in terms of talking with leftists that the people who like their relationships are lying

00:24:26.840 about it or they're yeah yeah and or that they're delusional and they need to be like they're

00:24:33.540 actually in horrible relationships and they just need to be told that because as soon as they

00:24:37.600 realize it then they'll leave their terrible relationship and be like them yeah and be like

00:24:43.400 them but yeah no i mean i i i think that that's a great point and this woman does seem to be in a

00:24:48.740 very genuinely good relationship from everything i can tell she next point she makes is women have

00:24:53.720 tendency to control everything submitting counters that tendency and frees the husband to lead and

00:24:59.320 give himself mariano says women's main marital defect is wanting to decide organize and improve 0.98

00:25:05.000 everything including the husband when a husband steps back and trusts the husband is more likely

00:25:11.180 to abandon his own defect selfishness or withdrawal and becomes more present and sacrificial

00:25:17.360 she talked about this early in her relationship i i if i was talking to a you know i grew up

00:25:25.420 partially in italy so like that's my best mirror of like spanish culture is italian culture and 0.92

00:25:32.160 the or you know i've known a lot of greek american families the women in these families i would give 1.00

00:25:37.200 this advice to them the women have a tendency to want to control everything and submitting can 0.98

00:25:42.500 to help you break out of that tendency but i i would say that this is not true for most women 0.52

00:25:48.740 of american stock that i've met they do not seem to have this tendency as well maybe though it's 0.98

00:25:54.280 even worse for your average like urban monoculture woman in the united states because rather than

00:26:01.360 being like i'm going to mold him into the person i want him to be it's i expect a man who's perfect

00:26:07.000 out of the box you know nine out of ten ten out of ten which is yes i don't know i would prefer a

00:26:14.080 woman who's like i'll take a fixer-upper i'm gonna like annoyingly try to control you over a woman who

00:26:20.060 won't even consider you know someone who's imperfect yeah yeah i also i i do soft to

00:26:28.320 disagree with her on the whole like don't try to melt mold a man because we just did this episode

00:26:32.200 but I'm as you try to mold a man. Yeah.

00:26:34.700 Actually you should. And there's just three types.

00:26:36.960 There's the shit testing type, which is bad. 0.99

00:26:39.580 There's the trying to turn a husband into something you want him to be, 0.98

00:26:42.920 but he doesn't want to be that it's not in alignment with your values or his

00:26:46.380 values. And that's bad. But then there's a third one,

00:26:49.340 which is just helping him become the person he wants to be. 0.96

00:26:51.960 And then you do have kind of to be a hard ass with them. 0.94

00:26:54.940 You have to annoy him sometimes because look, 0.95

00:26:58.260 any good coach of say an Olympic gymnast,

00:27:00.820 that gymnast wants to win the olympics no no i agree i mean so simone when you're thinking of

00:27:05.820 like think of the women for like my big fat greek wedding or something like that yeah like this

00:27:10.120 would have been good advice for them yes from like that so but it's not good advice i think for most

00:27:16.860 of our followers or women like you that that you most of these women are women with a level of

00:27:25.180 emotional control and regulation that when they are nitpicking things the things that they are

00:27:31.960 nitpicking are actually generally for the combined best interest of the family and if the husband

00:27:38.520 doesn't want you nitpicking something i mean i think that's on him to say this is not something

00:27:43.940 that we're going to talk about or you're going to criticize yeah they're also just real things like

00:27:48.240 i think some some conclusions people need to reach on their own and if you try to

00:27:53.520 to push it on them they will you are just going to push them away from you so you also have to 1.00

00:28:00.300 be aware of those third rail things yeah she argues that feminism fundamentally became 1.00

00:28:06.500 subverted and went on the wrong path and she argues that a true female freedom and happiness 1.00

00:28:10.880 come from embracing feminine nature welcome service and motherhood rather than competing

00:28:16.260 on male terms i think everyone is everyone has figured this out by now like all the feminist 0.70

00:28:21.820 women have figured this out by now right even men don't want to compete on male terms if men could 0.99

00:28:25.960 compete on female terms they totally would everyone yeah but what like why it's crazy that 0.98

00:28:34.460 any woman was psyopsed into believing that women wanted this yeah and then they got it and they 1.00

00:28:40.180 have been less happy and i'm not talking here about my subjective as feminism gained more power 0.57

00:28:47.560 women's happiness went down objectively the the it's there's a big study on this called the the

00:28:53.340 paradox of feminism or something like this and if you go from the 1970s women used to be happier

00:28:58.340 than men on average and just as as women got more and more rights their happiness went down and down

00:29:03.200 and down and down and male happiness ironically went up relative to women and now women men are

00:29:08.460 significantly happier than women on average and like it's something like women wanted

00:29:15.740 this this form of the sort of whatever they want to call it equality or whatever 0.95

00:29:20.340 in theory but not in practicality yeah none of the drawbacks it actually really sucks to be a dude 0.95

00:29:27.660 so yeah women want equality in a relationship but they also know they want to be the submissive 1.00

00:29:35.360 partner in a relationship like it's one of the things that's like they they want the idea of 0.99

00:29:40.760 equality without actually thinking through the implementation implication because what it means

00:29:46.600 to not be the submissive one what it means to be the dominant one is that all the responsibility

00:29:51.720 falls with you in the end and also a lot of the work falls with you and the the scary work

00:29:58.440 so most people would avoid that i think it was really personified well and in what we experienced

00:30:05.260 when we tried to give people promotions in Peru.

00:30:07.620 And they were like, no, no, I don't want that.

00:30:10.500 Don't give me more responsibility

00:30:12.120 because then if something goes wrong,

00:30:13.700 it's going to be my fault

00:30:14.780 and I'm going to have more work.

00:30:16.000 And I don't want that.

00:30:16.980 Don't even think about it.

00:30:18.960 I don't care about more money.

00:30:20.200 You can just keep your money.

00:30:23.160 Which happened with our-

00:30:24.560 Which happened, yeah.

00:30:26.640 And this is a different,

00:30:28.880 was a different cultural framing to it,

00:30:30.540 but I think it's a correct cultural framing

00:30:32.120 of what responsibility means.

00:30:34.160 Like what it means.

00:30:34.900 Yeah, because, yeah, I think in the United States, people, to a certain extent, are gaslit about the glamour of dominance.

00:30:45.500 They're led to believe that it is, you know, just all fantastic and perfect when actually it means you have a ton of responsibilities.

00:30:52.980 the buck stops with you and all of your decisions are going to be capable of causing a lot more

00:31:00.960 damage and pain and blowback. When you are at the bottom, you kind of have a lot more freedom

00:31:08.040 and a lot less stress. The one situation where you don't want to be, and I think this is maybe

00:31:12.720 what people index on really heavily in the United States, is that it really sucks if you are under

00:31:20.460 someone else and they are not a very good manager or like dominant person that's the big problem

00:31:27.800 yes well i think that this is this is this is why it's useful for men when a male tries to take on

00:31:35.660 the role of the truly equal partner to an extent i think women at i would say the average woman

00:31:43.220 and even the vast majority of women find that disgusting to an extent it's almost as if they

00:31:50.760 are belittling themselves by being with a partner who is their equal well and to a certain extent

00:31:58.980 they're going to accuse you still of all of the bad man things that women confuse men or accuse

00:32:05.420 men of for example you're putting off offloading a huge amount of mental load to me because now i

00:32:11.800 have to decide but we're going to eat dinner i have to decide all these things and that did they

00:32:16.900 make some some big new thing about what was the new mental load that's what i just mental load

00:32:22.000 yeah yeah that men are giving me mental load yeah that i have to think to remind him to do a thing

00:32:28.440 that i have to ask that i have to carry the emotional burden of this thing and i yeah i think

00:32:35.400 contrast that with the the this old lost social graces of men opening doors for women and men

00:32:44.640 ordering for women at restaurants like the the whole idea is that they are trying to do

00:32:48.800 perform courtesy for a female partner or friend or family member by taking the burden of opening

00:32:57.180 a door or of speaking with a waiter away from a woman so that she could relax and just chill 0.97

00:33:04.360 yeah i mean a lot of manners were about that right like taking the load off of a a woman

00:33:13.960 specifically so that she could further dedicate herself to her role but i i think that this is 0.99

00:33:19.840 the thing that was forgotten is is women try to keep all of that stuff right all the all the

00:33:23.860 benefits and then push back on but let's keep going here to to more a piece of advice in the

00:33:28.460 book but this book feels very tame to you right like generically good advice that most sane people

00:33:34.620 who had been married would agree with and yet they are completely apoplectic about it ripping it

00:33:40.260 apart saying this isn't what the bible supports saying you know like like a bishop was saying

00:33:45.320 like this is not a christian value set like this is really antithetical to what the the vatican

00:33:50.560 teaches what do his christian values say now i know right well what's fun is that this is being

00:33:56.440 published by the archdiocese and the archbishop has been very supportive of it so okay there's a

00:34:01.900 faction of the church that's based and likes this and obviously the the core buyers of this are

00:34:06.360 catholic wise the practical path to a happy marriage if she breaks it down dive into marriage

00:34:11.660 rather than waiting for the perfect moment or perfect partner which i think is very good advice

00:34:17.280 super important message especially for catholics who end up marrying a lot later and appear to be 1.00

00:34:21.420 through their actions just more choosy despite being in communities that should be pretty good

00:34:25.940 for matchmaking i did not feel for people who think that our relationship is particularly good

00:34:29.600 if you go back to my early relationship with simone i did not feel she was the perfect partner

00:34:33.500 yeah he was actually kind of explicit about that he was really not sure if this marriage was going

00:34:37.540 to work out i was going to be his first wife yeah i thought she was the good enough partner 0.98

00:34:42.800 with you know the the core things recommending her that she was hard working she worked to

00:34:48.060 improve herself and she was in like adored me like thought very highly of me and that was what

00:34:53.140 I wanted to see. Right. You know, and I think that now you're the perfect partner. I think

00:34:57.300 most people that know our relationship now are like, oh, well, Malcolm, you don't understand.

00:35:02.200 I'm not just going to find a Simone out there. Right. And the Simone I found was progressive

00:35:09.180 environmentalist hipster who worked, managed a company's Facebook account, right? Like 1.00

00:35:16.040 Malcolm, I did more than that. You did more than that over time. That's basically what you did at

00:35:21.740 the beginning i'm just pointing out and and she wasn't particularly good looking compared to what 0.99

00:35:26.440 she looks like today don't know why no i don't know how she got more attractive she got older

00:35:30.900 it's mostly confidence i think in not knowing how to style yourself but no it's important to note

00:35:36.700 this because people are like well i model i model off of malcolm and simone so i look for somebody

00:35:41.980 who's as good as simone you don't want to look at this after picture only and then just assume

00:35:46.280 that you get that without putting in the work yeah you marry it before yeah but also malcolm

00:35:53.580 you i you say i got more attractive you got more attractive than i got more attractive

00:35:58.760 well i mean that's normal in a relationship but yeah i definitely got more attractive

00:36:02.040 yeah prioritize the husband and the marital bond even amid children and work do i regret that she

00:36:09.500 has to say that i mean i yes do continue to prioritize the husband but i think the family

00:36:16.320 unit with the children as the most important part of a family unit come above the husband or wife

00:36:22.540 i i will say that it's possible to over prioritize children to the extent that you forget about your

00:36:30.540 partner and your partner stops being as important to you and i think that that's obviously i've

00:36:35.600 that can do a lot of damage in a relationship but i think i i'd sort of put them as co-equals

00:36:41.300 spouse and all of the kids as the other part of the co-equal now over a relative to jobs

00:36:48.860 yeah yeah i mean income's important but yeah i the your family is it can depend i think your

00:36:57.820 family's mission is the most important thing and because we completely combine family and job it's

00:37:02.960 harder for us to you know make this distinction here be open to life children are a gift not an

00:37:08.560 obstacle good piece of advice practice humility humor prayer and daily small acts of service

00:37:15.460 the wife's submission helps create the conditions of the husband to quote unquote die for her

00:37:20.720 which the companion book talks about which again is asking a lot from the like this is not a oh

00:37:27.040 women crawl on the knees for your husband type book right like i i think that this is a very

00:37:31.760 it's about both people dedicating themselves to their partners to an extent that is deeply

00:37:37.380 offensive within modern culture within the urban monoculture and the the

00:37:46.260 and also note here that she's very explicit about returning to like a christian anthropology of of

00:37:56.900 what a wife should be instead of our vision of the 1950s wife you know like staying home against

00:38:04.080 their will or whatever like the stay-at-home vision of a wife in the 1950s and i think she's

00:38:07.940 good to do this is like was never a real thing as we've pointed out it is not a vision that should

00:38:14.580 be chased whereas i think the vision that she presents of female mortification as she would

00:38:20.280 put it is is something that can be chased so i'll go into now what she says in the male book she

00:38:26.260 She says, true masculinity means being willing to die for your wife and your family.

00:38:30.700 The claim is taken from St. Paul.

00:38:33.320 Virility is not dominance, success, or emotional toughness for its own sake.

00:38:37.620 It is the readiness to take blows, to protect, provide, and spend oneself for the good of

00:38:43.340 the wife and children.

00:38:44.680 Most of the time is, quote unquote, dying, and it happens in small, unglamorous ways

00:38:50.040 rather than dramatic acts of heroism, which is, I think, a great way to frame being a

00:38:54.420 husband for men.

00:38:55.400 When we think about what it means to live, you know, chivalrous, vultuous lives, a lot of people want to be the knight or the warrior, you know, going out, dying, trying to stop the terrorist or whatever in some big glamorous cycle.

00:39:09.260 but i i think that the individual momentary sacrifices as as as we put it like you should

00:39:17.620 live your life in a state of perpetual martyrdom every moment and every day you are a fleeting

00:39:26.280 thing right like the me tomorrow isn't the me today it's it's it's a different entity that the

00:39:30.980 me today has a duty to martyr himself for not just my family for civilization for my children

00:39:37.740 but for me in the future. And to frame life that way, I think is something that psychologically

00:39:42.180 is sort of deeply understandable for men. There is a modern crisis of male identity. Many males

00:39:50.080 today are disoriented, passive, withdrawn, or stuck in a prolonged adolescence. They avoid

00:39:56.240 responsibility, decision-making, and self-giving. They retreat into work, screens, hobbies, or

00:40:01.380 silence. This is a vacuum that harms the whole family. I think this is a deeply correct attack

00:40:07.580 on modern men and i actually think here when she talks about like what does it mean for a wife to 0.96

00:40:13.820 be submissive and i think this is a good understanding of a wife being submissive

00:40:17.060 is it's to be with somebody who is not disoriented passive or withdrawn right it's to be with

00:40:25.280 somebody who is active i'm so sorry can you hear me okay yes and then she goes further to argue that

00:40:37.460 the woman's attitude strongly influences whether or not the man steps up and i note to the previous

00:40:43.040 attack right there where people can be like hey men are only acting like this because of women

00:40:48.320 not taking on the traditionally a woman role in society and that that is true right like and it

00:40:56.440 is it is also true within a marriage for the for the male to not be passive or withdrawn and to make

00:41:03.220 decisions with authority and to not withdraw into adolescence or hobbies or whatever as major

00:41:11.060 points of their lives the woman is a partner in that but what i'd say to men who are all like well

00:41:17.100 then how do i do it how do i make a woman women secretly want this okay that they they secretly

00:41:24.740 want a guy who is on some big impressive journey that they can go on together right like that is 0.98

00:41:31.100 what women want and if even if they've been brainwashed by the urban monoculture it is

00:41:37.300 difficult to break them out of it it takes time to break them out of it but the i'd say like

00:41:43.820 broadly among the wider like right these days especially the new right a lot of the most 0.99

00:41:52.020 virulent good warriors are women who had a man break them out of this cycle and just then go 1.00

00:42:00.840 full on like a culture war basically and i think one of the things that causes women to do this 0.96

00:42:09.260 is when other women to keep trying to tell them your husband is doesn't care about you is bad

00:42:15.860 is abusing you you need to leave you shouldn't be happy with this you shouldn't be happy with your 1.00

00:42:20.380 kids this is also a weird fetish thing and and and i think that that radicalizes women further 0.73

00:42:25.760 because they see how manipulative the world is being in a way that would be harmful to them if

00:42:31.260 they followed it yeah yeah and in a way that just jarringly makes them more confident in their

00:42:36.580 position that they hold yeah in terms of the like life plan for a marriage it's lead the family

00:42:46.020 instead of advocating authority or treating the household as a pure democracy we advocate for

00:42:51.440 this we've done this since our very first book the pragmatist guided relationships the buck always

00:42:55.900 needs to stop with somebody right going for compromise causes both parties to drift apart

00:43:02.040 in terms of their opinions because each party is psychologically subtly rewarded for exaggerating

00:43:08.660 their preferences if this isn't clear to you i'll use the example here if one side secretly wants to

00:43:14.960 and the other side secretly wants four the side that secretly wants four is psychologically

00:43:19.760 rewarded for pretending they secretly want eight the site that wants two is psychologically rewarded

00:43:24.760 for pretending they want one and if you know anything about how the human brain works if you

00:43:28.240 pretend to hold a position you begin to hold a position more in that direction so compromise

00:43:31.360 actually moves you further you need to just trust your partner enough to be like okay at the end of

00:43:37.680 the day on these really important things i'm going to trust your judgment on x because you have shown

00:43:43.400 that if you treat your life as a form of martyrdom for the future, right? You're not going to act on

00:43:49.440 your personal hedonistic preferences. You're going to act on with the information that you have

00:43:55.160 access to what is best for all of us. Be present, decisive, and protective. Make the marriage a

00:44:04.920 priority, not just children or work. Perform the daily quote-unquote little deaths, the chores he

00:44:09.980 dislikes listening even when tired giving the benefit of the doubt putting the wife's good

00:44:14.860 ahead of his comfort be a father who sets limits educates and provides stability and cultivate a

00:44:21.480 spiritual life prayer and the sacraments so the sacrifice is sustained by grace rather than pure

00:44:27.300 willpower um i mean yeah i would agree with that i think that for a woman especially like the the

00:44:39.400 pure willpower form of hard work rather than the form of hard work that comes with as as as somebody 0.76

00:44:48.300 who has lived both the more religious lifestyle we live now versus the form of hard work that was

00:44:53.400 just like grinding through because we had to grind through does feel significantly different

00:44:58.660 mostly because i mean for me the biggest difference is i know that everything is going to eventually

00:45:05.300 work out for the better and i know that civilization not just at the level of my family but at the

00:45:10.740 level of civilization and that makes the hard work feel less panicked i i would say and and

00:45:17.000 slightly more rewarding but that that's a big change that's this happened right there and then

00:45:21.040 the next one is and this is one that we didn't really realize until we were on the podcast you

00:45:26.220 can see the episode where we argue that love doesn't really exist as the way society talks

00:45:29.660 about it is she says love is not primarily a feeling she argues romantic intensity fades

00:45:36.180 real marital love is a decision to keep going after illusions die after fatigue and disappointment

00:45:42.280 set in well i haven't i never felt the fatigue and disappointment but i will say i've never felt

00:45:46.200 some separate emotion that i could call love it requires both spouses to die a little every day

00:45:51.780 their ego expectations and preferred image of each other i don't know for me whatever emotion

00:45:57.500 of affection i have towards you the the primary emotion i have is admiration and that has not

00:46:03.240 gone down over time but i guess i i do like the framing for people focusing on the romantic

00:46:10.760 emotional subset as like the purpose of your marriage or the goal of your marriage or the

00:46:16.320 barometer of your marriage's health is really really toxic even though it's normalized well

00:46:20.940 i don't think it's terribly sustainable especially if we're going for like

00:46:28.020 limerence that that just can't it cannot last but yeah yeah the the disappointment or frustration

00:46:38.360 i think what she might be missing is she's still and maybe this is just to make it broadly appeal

00:46:45.780 to people that when you marry and have kids, you are, I mean, she talks about little deaths,

00:46:55.480 like what you are dies. You, your identity, it doesn't matter anymore. You now exist within the

00:47:01.620 context of your family and you collectively as an entity are working towards something.

00:47:06.720 So this idea that you would be frustrated with your partner, you'd be no more frustrated with

00:47:12.080 your partner then you might be frustrated with like a sprained ankle that makes it hard to run

00:47:17.740 your marathon which is painful and and and frustrating but you know in a very different

00:47:24.300 context right you're like you're not mad at your sprained ankle you're like okay how are we going

00:47:29.000 to make this work like can i splint it can i walk in a different way you know how can we can i ride

00:47:36.280 like so you just have to figure that out and it's it's not like you are part of the same body it's

00:47:43.460 i i don't know how to yeah that's the other thing that feels in in our marriage the word

00:47:48.420 submission feels very weird to me because it would be like saying my my arm is submissive to my brain

00:47:55.060 it's like no my arm isn't submissive to my brain my brain naturally guides and commands my arm

00:48:02.120 these things all fit together yeah we're we're one single entity i i think making the man the brain

00:48:09.820 within the family is a natural way to sort things in the way that most women prefer to live their 0.71

00:48:17.500 lives even if their preferred self-image of themselves isn't that and i think most women 0.72

00:48:22.860 who are in touch with themselves are aware of this it it works it just works really well now

00:48:29.020 i mentioned you know what what some bishop mario aceita of belbo said the title quote does not

00:48:36.560 reflect what the church thinks in quote about marriage and called it provocative and unfortunate

00:48:42.520 the the spokesperson of the spanish episcopal conference so this is give my knock oh you know

00:48:49.660 it is catholic catholic episcopals i think of episcopal in the united states context but jose

00:48:54.660 maria gill tamayo stated quote submission does not correspond to the doctrine of the church or

00:49:00.960 the gospel in quote and that christian obeyed obedience is not quote barrack style and i love

00:49:07.740 that that's not what's being put here they're just literally saying you should not be obedient as a

00:49:11.860 christian right like that's a mainstream mindset that's becoming popular in these communities

00:49:16.560 And this is where I think within the nerd right online, a lot of people wonder why it can function with so many different religious groups, atheists and secular thinkers all working together.

00:49:31.480 And it's because we broadly recognize that the way that we see the structuring of a family is going to be fairly similar to the way a, you know, a faithful Orthodox Jew sees the structuring of a family or a secular person who is sane and has put some thought into the way that they're structuring their family, right?

00:49:52.660 when contrasted with the quote-unquote religious authority in in in wokestan right like that that's

00:49:59.960 clearly not whatever we're about right like i would have the the perspective that whether i am

00:50:06.740 talking about you know christian like leaflet or jew or actually like knox or you know atheist like

00:50:14.480 sargon of akkad all of us are going to have fairly similar and in alignment with this book which you

00:50:20.360 know feels culturally related views on the way you should structure your marriage which i think

00:50:26.280 is why it's so easy to to have this sort of wide cultural net in that it's not actually that wide

00:50:31.560 it's just a cultural net that's focused on let's try to find what actually works

00:50:35.740 yeah it's just shocking to me that this wasn't pigeonholed i feel like if this book came out

00:50:42.720 in the u.s women would just be like oh that's just some catholic book that catholic wives read

00:50:48.920 well so i mean there are books that are associated with fundamentalist groups that

00:50:54.080 sometimes you know content creators like fundy fridays they'll refer to them but they're not

00:50:59.520 you know people aren't like repping them apart in the streets like i find so fascinating is is

00:51:04.440 how mild the message of the book is in my perspective in common sense and you'll get

00:51:09.640 people like anamato minister of health services and equity of popular say i do not share the title

00:51:17.280 or the content at all and i would like and have requested that this book be withdrawn i believe it

00:51:23.000 is not appropriate and that this lack of respect towards women is she she said neither any woman

00:51:29.020 nor the majority of society approve of this book and then she asked the archbishop to quote unquote

00:51:35.100 rectify the book oh this is the party of the popular and said that it was a genuine absurdity

00:51:39.840 and then a oh this was a pp that that party then the psoa the andalusian socialists demanded an

00:51:49.180 immediate withdrawal of the book because they considered it quote-unquote discriminatory and

00:51:52.680 sexist and then the iu or the this is another political party called the prosecutor's office

00:51:58.020 to investigate whether the book constituted quote an apology for violence against women

00:52:02.820 in quote what's going on spain are you okay yeah and then a carmen palazza the director of the

00:52:10.520 women's institute sent an official letter to the archdiocese asking it to reconsider publication

00:52:15.440 stating that the book did not fit quote the values of equality that public institutions must defend

00:52:21.740 in quote and describing the publication as anachronistic i guess arguing that women were

00:52:27.340 never like this and i really tried to understand like why do they keep saying that it was about

00:52:32.200 violence right like when it's clearly the book never talks about violence wait okay maybe these

00:52:38.280 groups are running out of funds there's nothing really for them to talk about or freak out over

00:52:45.280 and so this is kind of it this is you know this is another version of the southern poverty law

00:52:51.320 center funding racism in whatever way they can because they need to have a big bad in order to

00:52:58.700 raise money so it could be happening and this could totally make sense given spain's current

00:53:03.160 economic climate and the shifting philanthropic climate as well that these organizations that

00:53:09.980 are freaking out and trying to raise awareness about this alarming book literally don't have

00:53:14.680 anything to work with and they're just i'm that could be it i i look you can't miss misinterpret

00:53:21.420 a word like mortification that poorly if you aren't acting in bad faith and i think one of

00:53:28.000 the top things that can get people to act in bad faith is a motivation toward profit.

00:53:33.460 Yeah. So the president for the Federation of Associated and Separated and Divorced Women

00:53:38.500 in Spain called the book a very clear manual for violence. And I was very confused. I think

00:53:45.880 the term mortification in this concept, like expecting yours to make sacrifices on behalf

00:53:52.460 of your partner in a daily manner might be the the core thing like the the book's titles

00:53:57.260 marry and submit like the idea of submission at all is sort of one of their core sins right

00:54:05.360 the idea that you would submit to anything other than your own whims is within the urban monoculture

00:54:12.740 i i think the cardinal sin i just realized something about the way you mispronounced some

00:54:20.060 words because you said it like more to focaccia like it's a focaccia like food and then i was

00:54:25.860 like wait again you you had the the anfertata or something it sounded like frittata yeah the

00:54:33.380 and then you had the straight you made it sound like the straight of vermouth i feel like i figured

00:54:42.160 out one of your pronunciation problems is you just your mind goes to increase when i'm talking

00:54:49.940 foreign words i think that's the one place where you as an american can talk foreign all right when

00:54:56.040 it's food yeah like when i say a disgusting spanish word like taco like i think that's okay

00:55:01.740 yes that's a taco right or an empanada or nacho um oh yeah yes yes by the way i i'm joking here

00:55:10.800 for people who don't know tacos are an american invention they are not a spanish invention

00:55:14.600 which is very fun there's so many dishes that people are like how dare you steal my culture

00:55:20.040 and i'm like actually we invented that the the other one that i that's one of my favorites it's

00:55:24.540 ramen made by american companies and popularized in japan because we gave it to them in the food

00:55:29.000 rations after world war ii he's made in oakland what cookies fortune cookies yeah fortune cookies

00:55:35.500 is another one but that didn't become popular in the other country yeah fair enough like for

00:55:40.280 But most Chinese people in China don't believe that fortune cookies are actually a Chinese

00:55:44.760 thing.

00:55:45.540 They immediately recognize them as an American thing. 1.00

00:55:48.020 But yeah, what are your thoughts on the idea of submission, women's roles in a marriage

00:55:54.100 and advice you would give to both men and women on this front?

00:55:57.900 That you're both submitting to shared values and what you are doing is becoming a member

00:56:04.020 of an organization that puts the organization first and the organization's bottom line is your

00:56:11.400 values. So it's not maximizing shareholder value. It is maximizing your collective agreed upon

00:56:17.400 shared values. And I think people can understand this pretty easily because it's seen though

00:56:22.600 demonized in mainstream media. People regularly refer to the way that the British royal family

00:56:29.640 internally refers to themselves as the firm and the many instances framed as tragic and horrible 0.99

00:56:36.140 i don't know i think it is kind of tragic and horrible because they're really stupid reasons 0.91

00:56:40.080 why they did various things that that involved sublimating the interests and desires of members 0.88

00:56:46.660 of the family in favor of the interest of the firm and people being explicitly told you need

00:56:52.100 to do this for the firm you know including which i actually have vacation not getting married to 0.99

00:56:57.200 the person you really loved right and like a lot of these rules were kind of stupid in the end

00:57:00.680 they maybe didn't need to matter that much but like that there's this very clear example people 0.68

00:57:06.180 do understand there are families that put the family first there are families that this also

00:57:12.200 i think really you could see happening with the kennedys though in a slightly different way where

00:57:15.820 it's like no you put this family's collective goals over your own and people did that i they

00:57:22.740 they were a little bit lopsided in that commitment there was a lot more commitment to hedonism among

00:57:26.960 the kennedy men but like still people can see this this is not foreign you just need to do it

00:57:32.720 yourself your family deserves that and well i really like this framing that you're taking right

00:57:38.120 here and i want to build on it and i've mentioned this before but i i actually think this is the

00:57:42.900 core i love reading romance books that are clearly written for women i love you so much

00:57:48.580 about marrying the duke in whatever magical world but yeah in in in my stories you know

00:57:57.620 it's always oh you go out and you marry the the duke and then you join his household and they

00:58:04.700 often think of their own family as like a household with a collective mission and reputation

00:58:10.620 and goals and those goals it's it's natural it's the most obvious thing in the world

00:58:17.680 that they supersede the goals of the individual, right?

00:58:21.480 Like you don't begin to think about your own goals

00:58:23.880 until you've served your role

00:58:25.800 as the Duke's daughter or whatever, right?

00:58:29.120 You know, Simone knows these stories.

00:58:30.760 They're great stories.

00:58:33.100 More people get into them

00:58:34.700 because they're very good at framing for your family.

00:58:36.800 That is what family should be.

00:58:38.620 That is what we should go back to family being.

00:58:40.900 And I think that's the healthiest way to frame family

00:58:42.960 is it is the institution of the family,

00:58:46.680 the collinses the clan that is the most important thing in terms of advancing interest but not just

00:58:53.600 the most important thing but my core unit of identity i am a limb of the entity which is

00:59:02.160 the collins clan oh this shows up in dune too people are very committed to house atreides house

00:59:08.420 harconan like that yeah no this is not hard for people to understand just grow a pair and do it

00:59:14.660 okay and we don't need to go any further than that i love you i'm gonna make you fried rice

00:59:18.400 for dinner again i'm looking forward to it shut up i still haven't figured out what flavor is

00:59:26.200 missing i don't know ask an ai but it just tastes slightly flavorless and i don't know

00:59:33.600 there is so it has soy sauce hoisin sauce brown sugar and there is some flavor you used in the

00:59:40.420 that you're not using right now are you remembering to use black soy sauce and not

00:59:46.240 dark soy sauce you want me to use dark there's not white soy sauce in fried rice you generally

00:59:51.300 use dark soy sauce that would add a lot of extra sauce sure i will try that and i will also ask ai

00:59:57.320 as you've requested and we'll figure it out i love you i love you too i sublimate myself to you

01:00:06.820 i will mortify myself well you definitely you definitely mortify yourself for me

01:00:13.180 i'm i'm mortified just seeing it oh no oh god i'm super excited

01:00:23.180 octavian got a really good grip on why communism sucks today like in a two-minute conversation and

01:00:32.220 i was really impressed wait really why can't i have everything for free and i'm like at first

01:00:39.880 i'm like look just systems break when everything's free and then i'm like okay fine let's let's talk

01:00:44.120 about this octavian let's imagine that we got two helicopter toys but there are five kids

01:00:50.800 well we could make the helicopters have a price or we can make them free and if they're free

01:00:57.160 basically whichever kid gets to them first gets to play with a helicopter toy that's their

01:01:01.420 helicopter toy you value helicopters more than any other kid in this family so if i added a price to

01:01:07.860 it like you have to clean up this thing or you have to eat all your dinner or what you have to

01:01:12.300 do this many lessons like then you basically titan doesn't care about helicopters she won't do the

01:01:18.360 work torston doesn't care about helicopters he won't do the work so you will do the work which

01:01:23.300 is totally worth it for you and you'll get the helicopter and that's why it is important to put

01:01:27.860 a price to things because if you don't then things will end up going to people who don't even want

01:01:32.860 them and those who actually want them won't be able to access into a scarce resource and he like

01:01:38.500 totally got it and he's like oh i'm glad things aren't free and it made me very happy that our

01:01:43.480 son is very happy that you're not raising a communist look i was were you like rapidly

01:01:49.440 anti-communism when you were in college too or did that like come as you became more conservative

01:01:55.120 it no i think i was i think i was very against it in in high school too

01:01:59.680 because remember i wanted to go into environmental business right i wanted a business degree i was

01:02:06.860 like the only way to actually make change in this world is through capitalism so that's how much of

01:02:11.180 a believer in it i was like i was just like i'm a save the planet hippie but like with money and

01:02:17.120 capitalism i understood that like the government was gonna like actually be affected or anything

01:02:23.000 like that that would be that would be delusional malcolm i love that you have a talk with him about

01:02:28.820 communism i didn't go get him because if he's with lee already then he's not going to be doing

01:02:32.660 any more lessons i don't know i don't think he is well and i asked i'm i asked him to have alia

01:02:37.820 help him because maybe you know having a friend over to help you with your math questions she's

01:02:42.740 like a cool girl that you think you want to impress you know maybe she'll help him out i

01:02:48.180 don't know okay what are you gonna name your caterpillar spiky well be gentle with him okay

01:02:57.020 all right show me what you got buddy because see his legs i love his legs

01:03:03.080 hello mr spiky oh thank you spiky the caterpillar all right show us show us what aliyah taught you

01:03:18.180 Wow, right? 0.99

01:03:20.960 You're making, wow, Octavian.

Based Camp - July 30, 2026

Book ＂Marry & Submit＂ Goes Viral (Leftists & Bishops Start Book Burning)

Episode Stats

Transcript