Dating For Marriage： Why Red Pill Strategies Backfire
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about how I secured Simone as a wife, why she chose me, and how to avoid hypergamy. We also talk about why it s so important to have a good relationship with your wife.
Transcript
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Hello, everyone. I'm really excited to be talking with you today. I am a woman, a wolf. I'm
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hypergamous. I'm evil. And I'm going to tell you exactly why I chose my husband, who, of course,
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I will discard someday for a better model. I mean, maybe. Let's find out.
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No, hold on. Specifically, the two concepts we're going to be discussing in this episode
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is how I secured Simone as a wife. And the second is, i.e., why did she develop feelings for me
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from her own perception? Why did she decide to marry me when before this she had been very urban
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monoculture, very in that bubble? How do you secure and convert, not just secure, but convert high
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quality women? And then second, how do you avoid hypergamy? And we're talking about this because
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a lot of people following this podcast are interested in finding a wife. And also many of
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the ambitious, intelligent, successful young women they're dating are also very urban monoculture
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pill. They're just like me. They never want to have kids. They want to focus on their career.
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The idea of pregnancy is abhorrent to them. So maybe we can use me as a case study, delve into my
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previous brain, and at least the dynamics that enabled Malcolm's in my relationship to happen to
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see if maybe some of this might be replicated for you if this is a goal of yours.
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And then how to avoid hypergamy, which I would argue is made likely by overly trad relationships.
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Both being too overly urban monoculture or overly trad makes you very at risk for hypergamy.
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That's interesting. The first thing I think of when you mentioned that is when it comes to careers,
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the smart thing is to switch careers every few years because you're able to get a better income.
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And I wonder if the same dynamic is the case when your career is being a wife, like after a few
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years, especially if you feel like you're appreciating in value, like if you're building
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an online following or you're getting hotter in any way, like if you're actually a durable wife,
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trading up and being hypergamous is actually the logical thing to do. That's interesting.
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All right. Well, let's start with you and why you chose me and what guys have
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gotten your eye before. Yeah. So I have a very consistent track record of people I've had crushes
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on since I was a teen. The universal factor is having a unique passion for something in your life,
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knowing who you are and being very transparent about it and unapologetic about it. In other podcasts,
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we've alluded to this like very embarrassing crush I had on this guy who was really into Catholic
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doctrine and I would go to his dorm room, bringing all these cupcakes and asking him hard questions
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about Catholicism. Cause it was just like my excuse to like get him to talk to me more. I had crushes
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on people who were, you know, he ended up, he ended up, he's like, Oh, Simone, I've enjoyed these
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discussions with you so much. I've decided to become a priest. And she's like, no, this is how good my
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game is. You don't know Catholic priest can't marry or date. So yeah, that was, yeah. No, it worked out
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really well. Come on, Malcolm. I'm really, all is as it should be. I want to take a few notes on what
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you're saying here because Simone is not unique in this fact. Not at all. Most high value women I know
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have this profile in terms of what that like gets them excited about a partner. And a lot of the guys
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I know when they are pursuing women do not pursue them using these techniques and we'll go over the
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techniques that they use that are really ineffective. The first step, I think one, one thing I'll just
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note is even when you look at a lot of the crushes that take place in fictional universes, it's often
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on guys who have no interest in women are not like, Oh, I'm here. Cause I'm like powerful and cool.
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It's men who are extremely passionate about whatever it is, like be that revenge or saving their
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kingdom or something else. It's people who know who they are and have a mission and are pursuing it.
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And these are the women, this is, these are the men to whom women want to hitch their wagons.
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Yeah. Lots of Luigi Mani, Gioni fan fictions going around right now.
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But I, I, I want to explain one, why this is the case. And to the, the reason why guys are making mistakes.
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The first mistake comes downstream of the red pill movement. And you and I would actually consider
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ourselves like red pillars to an extent. The red pill is fundamentally correct where it taught guys
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that, Hey, women say they want X, but they really want Y, but there was a sub caveat to everything.
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The red pill taught men and everything, the pickup artists taught men, which was, this is how you win
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on the sexual marketplace. And as we've always pointed out, there are two key marketplaces.
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There is the sexual marketplace and there is the marriage slash long-term relationship marketplace.
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And on the sexual marketplace, women have an enormous advantage. And, you know, these same guys will laugh
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at women who think they can get the same type of guy to marry them as they can get to sleep with them
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on a one night stand, but not apply just as for that woman, different rules apply between these two
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marketplaces. Different things are arousing. Different things are desirable. The same thing is true for
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men. And so they apply tools and techniques that have been optimized to secure a woman who will sleep
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with you as quickly as possible. Like it's attractive as a woman, if possible sleeping with you as quickly
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as possible. Well, what's one of the things that those techniques are going to filter out if they
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are working as intended, they are going to filter out chaste women very early. You would want them
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to filter out chaste women. I'm going to a bar and I am looking to come home and sleep with someone
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that night. A pickup line that causes a woman like Simone, who before me had never slept with someone
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to like walk away, is actually a good line. It increases the probability that you end up going
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home with someone. But the problem is, is it also means that intrinsically the women who you are
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bringing home are gonna be, well, both one, less chaste and two, less interesting. And so you could
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say, okay, so why is it that so many of this chaste cast of women is thinking like Simone is in terms of
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their arousal pattern? Like why are they looking for a man who has a mission? And I think that there is
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a line in Rick and Morty that is said derogatorily, but it's actually, I think, the aspiration for a lot
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of women, which is he says, hey, I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and
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set up shop in someone else's. But that I think is the reality of an aspiration among many women is they
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want to set themselves up in a life that looks like it's going to matter and be respected or at least be
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something that they can take personal pride in being a part of.
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I think it also might correlate with long-term signs of career stability. So this is the behavior
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that you would expect from someone who is not a free radical, from someone who is likely to have
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a steady income and security in their life. And I think women looking for long-term partners are
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subconsciously looking for someone who is also dependable and consistent and a safe person to
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invest in. I disagree, actually. So here, listen to this and then you'll be like, oh yeah, you're right.
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Of the women I know who have chosen partners based on this factor, which a lot of high-quality women
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have, the most common relationship structure is the sword and shield structure that we have discussed
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multiple times. Sword and shield structure relationships mean the woman chooses, or not
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the woman, one of the partners chooses to be the shield. That means they are a secure source of income.
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And then the sword goes out and does the high-risk, high-reward things that can move the family up.
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Yeah, but it's the passion. It's the consistent passion and transparency that indicates that they
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will be a sword at all. I think absolutely women are on average more likely to be the shield.
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I think you're totally wrong in thinking that women aren't looking for a consistent driving passion
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to be able to trust that their men will be a sword. I cannot tell you how many women I've encountered
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who have met and ended up with men and then ultimately left them, or just been dragged
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down by them for life because those men end up just being louts at home and not doing anything.
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Like, that is a really common issue. I hear what you're saying, but the way that you had framed
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this to begin with is a look for this trait in men because it leads to economic stability and
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career success. No, no, no, no. But you have to understand, a man who is passionate, who knows what
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he's all about, and who really is, like, big on a thing, isn't a guy who, like, gets his salary
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It's literally antithetical to economic stability.
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No, I don't mean economic stability. I mean, like, you can depend on them to be driving the
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The way that you said what you said could easily be misinterpreted by a guy to be girls
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want a guy was a successful, like, say, bureaucratic career.
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Some do, but I would say that if you're looking for, like, really high-quality women, often
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that is not what they want, and they actually want to be support for the guy.
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But when they want to be support for a guy, they want the guy doing something big and interesting
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enough to be worth dedicating your life to a supporting role in that.
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Because you're essentially investing in a startup.
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So you're not going to invest in a stupid-sounding startup.
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Yeah, and I also know there's sword and shield relationships for people who are like, well,
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They managed the farm, and the guy would go out.
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Yeah, no, this is actually probably more of a common relationship in human history than
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anything close to a nuclear family has been, where the guy goes out and earns all the money
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That's really kind of descended from aristocratic relationships.
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The women, yeah, the women never really did anything if they were high-achieving.
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If you were an aristocratic woman, that means that your husband ran an estate.
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This was the equivalent of running a city, like being a mayor of a city.
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You were basically running an events management company and a small town.
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Well, and this is where you got the poverty, and I'd call it the emotional poverty of the
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nuclear family, which, as we pointed out before, really only started in the 1910s and only lasted
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until the 1970s, where you had men who supported a wife at home.
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And that was because the middle class in America tried to model their family structure off of the
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family structure of aristocrats of before 1910.
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So, you know, they saw the woman staying at home, the man going out.
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And by the way, before this period, what you had with corporate families, the man and the woman would
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But anyway, they saw this happening, and they tried to model it, but without understanding that the
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women who lived this type of lifestyle were actually doing a ton of stuff.
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But because they didn't have courts, because they didn't have, you know, parties every other
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month at their house that, like, hundreds of people would come to, because they didn't have a
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staff, the woman was just sitting at home all day.
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And this is why you got all these housewives addicted to, like, cocaine and, like, other stuff.
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It was, like, a major problem for housewives, because you can't just, like, sit at home and
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I mean, in the, like, 30s to 50s, it was amphetamines.
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And then after that, it was, like, I would say 60s to 90s, it was benzos.
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But I'd also note here around, like, let's say, arousal patterns, because, like, you actually,
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you didn't just, like, logically decide to go for me.
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You developed a crush on me when you saw my passion and how much I'd sought through things.
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Like, explain how that works, because I think that's going to be interesting for people.
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The biggest thing that felt so shocking, going on a date with Malcolm after going on a date
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with a bunch of other guys in the Bay Area when I was on my campaign, and that is to say,
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when I turned 24, I decided there's a New Year's resolution.
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That year, I was going to fall in love and have my heart broken and then live alone forever.
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So I was, like, systematically going through OkCupid, like, dating through the Bay Area, the
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San Francisco Bay Area, to try to find someone I could fall in love with.
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The guys before, you know, we had some of the conversations were interesting.
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Some of the dates were really interesting and surprising.
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But they never really, no one stood out, because no one, no, everyone was aimless.
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No one knew what they really valued, what they cared about.
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There were certainly things they were interested in, and they were building this or that, or working
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on this with their career, or they really were interested in four-year transforms, or, like,
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building obstacle courses, or all sorts of interesting things.
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And I also, I think it's misleading for me to be like, none of them had passions, but none
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of them had passions that came from any sort of ideological or, like, deep-set values.
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Interesting hobbies that augmented their self-perception as interesting people.
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I was listening to a podcast earlier this month about hobbies being something that were
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concertedly developed, even through the school system, under the understanding that as technology
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advanced, society would end up with a ton of free time and needed to direct that free time
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in a virtuous direction, like with sports, or woodwork, or fishing, or whatever, so that,
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you know, they didn't, like, loiter on the streets and just start breaking things for fun
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because they had the time, because they didn't have to work all the time anymore.
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And I really, whether that's true or not, and it's probably at least a little bit true,
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the concept of hobbies really is kind of this opiate of the masses thing.
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Yeah, I think they really highlight on something there in terms of women's arousal patterns,
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right, which is hobbies are what you do to masturbate specific emotional pathways as
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They're what you do when you don't have purpose in life, because if you have a pure objective
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function, if you know what you're doing with your life, no, no, no, hear me out here.
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Like, if you really know what you're all about, you may do something to wind down a little bit
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that you could call a hobby, but you really don't have, like, a big all-encompassing hobby
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because you have a bigger thing to work toward, and you're going to take your free time to
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You know, I agree 100%, but, like, for me, for example, I do, like, recreational activities
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that I understand to be purely recreational, like video games, for example.
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Yeah, but you only do them when you, like, actually need to rest because you literally
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Right, but I, yeah, I understand that they are no different from masturbation.
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That is what I am doing when I am playing a video game.
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I am masturbating parts of my head, and I think that some men hear women say something
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like, a guy who's a gamer gives me the ick, and they're like, oh my gosh, like, because
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you see this, like, guys, right, they're like, oh, women, like, just discount any guy who's
00:16:08.540
a gamer, and, like, you misunderstand what's being said here, right?
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It's guys whose primary thing in life is gaming is what is giving the ick.
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It is guys whose gaming is more important to them than their purpose, that is going
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Any sort of hobby, where hobby is defined as something that doesn't follow some sort
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of, like, deep-seated value for, like, I could say improving the world or whatever it is that
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Like, I put together, like, a zombie run in San Francisco every year or something like
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Like, and it's big, and it's all on all the newspapers, and it's like, that's a big
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It's a high-status thing, and it adds a quirk to your character, but it's a thing devoid of
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Or I do these really cool, like, Burning Man art displays, and then you come check out
00:17:10.980
Yeah, and I met a lot of people like that, and it was fun exploring these things with
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them, but I never came away from our dates thinking, like, I want to be associated with
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Like, this is someone I could spend my life with.
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And so I think that one thing you said to me when you were talking about this is you're
00:17:34.580
And if you don't have one of those yet, The Pragmatist's Guide to Life, our first book,
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it's 99 cents on Amazon, like, just get it and read it.
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An objective function is a term that we use to describe a thing or a collection of things,
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like, you know, weighted things that you think have inherent value and that you want to maximize
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They're not life goals, because that implies that this thing of inherent value can be achieved,
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whereas pretty much all objective functions, whether it be, you know, reducing suffering in
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mankind or maximizing the amount that you can learn or, you know, protecting human flourishing
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and intelligence, all of these things are not discrete goals.
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So do you have any more thoughts on this particular topic before we go to the next one?
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The other thing that really was, and it stood out, which I think is also super important,
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and this is an issue with both men and women, is how transparent and honest you were.
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On our first date, you sit across from me and you say, I'm not looking to date, I'm looking
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to find a wife, and I expect to find her this fall at Stanford, where there's a large pool
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Immediately, I knew that you were looking to get married, that you had specific criteria
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for a wife, that you didn't think that I fit that criteria, but you were still willing
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And then you proceeded to give me, like, you laid out your objective function, what you believed
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mattered, and how you were going to achieve it with your life.
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And that, to me, was so refreshing, because I know that everyone I went on a date with wanted
00:19:04.060
something, but the vast majority, like, well, none of them until you, actually told me that.
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You know, it was just always talking about other things.
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And I think that both men and women, I think they think, because there are often tropes of
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being transparent as being seen as being desperate or needy, you know, like a woman being like,
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I'm looking to get married on a first date, not playing hard to get, for example, being
00:19:33.500
But honestly, it just, there are bad ways to deliver it, but if you deliver it right, and
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if you're based and honest about it, when you reveal your agenda, you are saving time.
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If someone doesn't want to get married, and you want to get married, and you're on a date
00:19:49.960
with them, it is so good for all of you, if you just make it clear that you're not a good
00:19:56.180
The sooner you get to know on that front, the better.
00:19:58.860
And it's similar with, you know, pickup artistry.
00:20:00.840
If someone isn't interested in having sex that night, and you want sex that night, you
00:20:05.280
And this is really clear in all the strategy forums, like you, you cannot afford to spend
00:20:10.440
your entire night working on a girl who clearly isn't going to go home with you.
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The problem with the pickup artist community in terms of finding wives is it's that woman
00:20:23.000
who is literally the worst woman for a pickup artist, the best woman for a guy who wants
00:20:29.540
And so it led to really bad techniques being developed.
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And here I note the final thing, the huge mistake that guys make is a big thing in pickup
00:20:40.500
artistry is looking dominant and fitting this aesthetic of masculinity.
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And a lot of men online will shame other men for not fitting this aesthetic of masculinity.
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They'll be like, oh, you know, you're not being masculine or buff in this way, or oh, you're
00:21:02.400
No different from video games in the eyes of high quality women of these quote unquote,
00:21:09.720
I don't know a single one of them who has landed a high quality wife.
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And they'll go online and they'll shit on other guys for like acting fae or like, oh, I bet
00:21:21.300
he's gay or like whatever, you know, because that's how they built sort of their internal
00:21:27.060
Well, this obsession with appearance reeks of insecurity and women can sniff that out like
00:21:35.400
And that's another reason why your honesty was so hot.
00:21:55.880
And why anyone's honesty is hot is that honesty reeks of confidence, which is the sexiest thing
00:22:05.720
And so I'd really, if guys see themselves as very masculine, very man-like, and that's
00:22:10.600
a very important part of their identity, I will say, and I know that this requires like
00:22:15.860
serious soul searching in terms of like, whether it's reading the pragmatist guide to life or
00:22:21.980
If you are struggling to find high quality partners, that's likely why guys like this do
00:22:30.100
Then you can be like, well, what about Andrew Tate?
00:22:31.860
And I was like, well, do you think his partners are that high quality?
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Would you actually be happy like having an intellectual discussion with them?
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And you're like, well, you don't need to have an intellectual discussion with your wife.
00:22:45.040
And it's like, you better hope you plan to have an intellectual discussion with your
00:22:48.960
Because if you marry a woman who's a bimbo and an idiot, then your kids are going to be
00:23:11.060
It is when a woman chooses a man, and there's this fear among a lot of men that like, if
00:23:17.600
you had my wife had a guy who had significantly more money than me, who was interested in you
00:23:23.720
and at an equal level of attraction or whatever, and you've had guys who I think have had hundreds
00:23:29.220
of millions of dollars interested in you or express interest, you might be too autistic
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I genuinely would be able to tell you, is this the only reason I haven't left you, Malcolm?
00:23:43.520
But what people note here, and one guy was like, yeah, well, OK, he said this, and I
00:23:49.040
think that he sort of began to understand how you prevent hypergamy when he was going
00:23:53.400
through his, oh, yes, but he's like, look, when a woman finds a guy who has, let's say,
00:23:58.140
$5 more than her husband, and that guy will take her, she'll leave him for them.
00:24:03.960
And then the guy was like, well, yeah, but then you've got to like price in things like
00:24:07.140
starting the relationship over again, the risk of the new relationship.
00:24:12.540
Once you price all that in, if they have marginally more money, they will take that.
00:24:17.980
And here you might be expecting me to say, no, they won't take that.
00:24:20.980
And I'd actually say, actually, yeah, most women will take that.
00:24:25.820
But that is because many men have not priced into their relationships the cost of leaving
00:24:36.940
the structure of their relationships into the cost of leaving them.
00:24:40.460
So, for example, you could, and this often happens with guys and girls, and you were talking
00:24:45.880
about this, like a guy moves up in the world and with that brings a woman up in the world.
00:24:50.240
Maybe he becomes a congressman or something, right?
00:24:52.220
And then she ends up meeting some business tycoon at some fancy party.
00:24:59.420
And then I was at an event recently, a heritage foundation event, and there was a lawyer there
00:25:03.360
who's talking about how divorce can even become trendy in some communities and positively start
00:25:09.800
Like, well, if you don't have an ex, then you're not really, I mean, you're sort of scoogey,
00:25:14.660
And so when you have all of that, you can have people want to leave their partner with
00:25:23.020
It's like, well, you know, I'm staying at home.
00:25:24.740
And this is why stay-at-home wives are so likely to leave their husbands.
00:25:31.140
And it's like, no, you created a life where they could just trade you out for anyone else
00:25:37.000
who was supporting them with an equal amount of money.
00:25:41.420
And worse, they have a psychological belief in their head, if they don't have a new partner
00:25:48.460
lined up, which sometimes they don't, that they can secure the same type of partner that
00:25:55.660
Now, this belief is wrong, but it can still lead them to leaving you and making really,
00:26:02.260
Or, you know, their friends will be like, hey, you can get all that money.
00:26:05.840
You know, as they say, you know, in a divorce, as a lawyer was telling me this, it usually
00:26:09.100
goes half the money goes to the wife, a quarter goes to the lawyers, and a quarter goes to
00:26:25.600
If you didn't have some kind of emotional investment in the relationship, like an ideological
00:26:30.520
or emotional investment, you'd be kind of dumb to not go for it.
00:26:40.300
So then a person can say, wait, you're making it seem very likely that a woman would leave
00:26:45.740
It's like, no, if you do this trad thing, it's likely that a woman, like the Laura Thuzer
00:26:50.400
You know, she tried the whole trad thing, and then they broke up.
00:26:54.740
He was trying the whole trad thing, and they broke up.
00:26:57.000
But, you know, who knows if she, you know, overly exaggerated in the claims against him
00:27:03.120
I've heard that she might have, but, you know, there's the footage, so whatever.
00:27:07.000
The point being, I'm sure if you could get footage of the worst I'd ever been to Simone,
00:27:10.960
I mean, it wouldn't be like that, but I would look bad.
00:27:16.520
We all look bad when we're being dicks to each other.
00:27:21.560
The point here is, if you left me, both of us would have nothing.
00:27:29.620
The cost to leaving me, to you and me, is so catastrophic that no matter how much money
00:27:41.960
Because we have built a traditional corporate relationship, which means that my public identity
00:27:47.240
in your public identity and our public identities being ours.
00:27:51.780
So, for example, they're like, wait, you guys work in private equity.
00:27:54.320
Yeah, but we worked in private equity together.
00:28:01.560
They're like, well, you guys are well-known public figures.
00:28:06.000
I don't know anyone else with a joint Wikipedia page.
00:28:08.440
How do you get divorced if you have a joint Wikipedia page?
00:28:16.660
The marriages I've seen fell apart, and some of them even include marriages that I just
00:28:20.320
thought were the dream marriages of, you know, the parents of my friends who I thought were
00:28:28.560
They resulted from a lack of ideological alignment of the relationship being of two people living
00:28:38.480
their own lives rather than a team fighting toward a shared goal.
00:28:43.060
when you marry someone because you want a partner, someone, a friend, someone to keep you company,
00:28:48.820
someone to raise your kids, someone to clean your house, someone to make money for you so
00:28:53.620
you can keep a house, that often isn't ideologically aligned.
00:29:00.560
It's not, the incentives aren't aligned, and you can drift apart from that person really,
00:29:10.660
I actually think it would be fairly easy for us to part ways, logistically speaking,
00:29:17.880
I think being a white man and trying to get a career is really scary these days, but like
00:29:21.320
if I had, you know, no attachment to you and you suddenly became terrible to me, it would
00:29:30.560
And I think everyone, like, this is why men are afraid to get married.
00:29:35.920
So, so I, yeah, I could have been wrong in what keeps you with me, which is what you're
00:29:43.200
So, so it's that what really puts a marriage at risk, and this is a problem for a lot of
00:29:48.720
trad individuals, is they marry somebody who has chosen to marry you, not because of you,
00:29:55.120
but because you allow them to fulfill a role, i.e.
00:30:01.620
They really wanted to be a, and you functionalize that role.
00:30:06.760
Like, if you're like a trad Mormon or a trad cat or like a trad, you know, you will find
00:30:11.220
a lot of women like that who aren't marrying you for a shared mission, but are marrying
00:30:19.160
And that means that you are interchangeable for anyone who makes that role incrementally
00:30:27.180
You will become irrelevant if their desired role changes, or if you fail to maintain that
00:30:38.100
Well, I mean, I think the really scary thing for guys is they can maintain the role, but
00:30:45.740
Yeah, that's, that's the third way this can go wrong.
00:30:48.120
No, the, the, I would not leave you because not, I mean, not only do I, like, am I over
00:30:54.600
the moon for you and I love you and I'll see you just get hotter every day and I don't
00:30:58.380
There's just so many things that I absolutely adore about you.
00:31:01.220
It's because there, I cannot fathom a more effective way to achieve my objective function
00:31:13.940
That I will be significantly worse off at maximizing my values if I'm working without
00:31:21.780
And I think this, there's something similar for you, you know, without me, your impact
00:31:28.960
And for that reason, we are a very strong team.
00:31:34.120
And there's a very strong disincentive for us to not work together because working alone,
00:31:39.700
we achieve 20% of what we achieve working together.
00:31:47.320
Like you say, it's not a cost to leaving me, but a cost to leaving me is that you are less
00:31:56.940
Yeah, but most couples I'm in it, I'm talking about a scenario in which that wasn't the case.
00:32:02.300
Like we weren't ideologically aligned in which case logistically, like from a perspective
00:32:07.020
of me having an easy life and having the income I need to, you know, meet my needs.
00:32:14.240
And that's how most people are thinking that that's majority of couples, as you know, I
00:32:20.880
Like, you know, we, we do this all the time are not ideologically aligned there.
00:32:24.420
They often are, you know, smart, wonderful people who love each other very much and are
00:32:32.260
And people typically think, oh, there goes a really nice couple.
00:32:35.220
But if they are not ideologically aligned and essential to the other person to help them
00:32:43.700
achieve their life's purpose, the relationship is on thin ice.
00:32:50.540
Well, and that's something that is a result of the first thing that we talked about.
00:32:55.060
And it's why it's good to have these two conversations together, which is you chose me
00:32:58.720
because I had a purpose in life that you could understand and logically agree with and what
00:33:05.500
More importantly, you had a purpose in life and it 100% aligned with what I valued.
00:33:10.020
My, like I wrote in my diary after I met you, after our first date about how mad I was
00:33:15.720
that I wasn't you because you got it as far as I was concerned and you were doing such a
00:33:23.080
Like you had thought through things so much better than I had.
00:33:26.340
You knew what you were doing, you were on your way and I was just so pissed that I wasn't
00:33:32.800
It's like, oh, like this is a, this is a force multiplier of me.
00:33:36.040
Like I want to be them as a much better instinct to have with a potential life partner than I
00:33:41.800
want to be with them or I want to, I want to have sex with them.
00:33:44.620
I want to be them is like, that's, that's who you want to marry.
00:33:49.960
That's someone who can help you achieve your goals in life.
00:33:58.280
Here, the truth is, and this is what makes dating so hard is you really do need to, you
00:34:03.040
cannot, and I think so many guys try this, is they try to accommodate women who are in
00:34:07.460
the urban monoculture rather than shock women in the urban monoculture, out of the urban monoculture
00:34:14.500
And this accommodating approach to dating, I think leads to really negative outcomes, as
00:34:20.940
negative as the trad outcomes, because you're like, okay, we're going to like compromise
00:34:25.260
our beliefs about the world till we can kind of work together because both of us want to
00:34:33.640
You need personal belief system that you have so much conviction in that it sort of shocks
00:34:39.140
them out of this poorly sought through urban monoculture framework, which is the reason
00:34:45.240
why when people are like, oh, I want to date, which of your books do I read?
00:34:47.800
Is it the pragmatist guide to relationships or the pragmatist guide to sexuality?
00:34:51.560
That's the one you need to read to be good at dating.
00:34:54.800
Anyway, I really hope that this helps somebody and that you don't make these mistakes because
00:35:04.260
Which is funny because I think for the vast majority of human history, people have been
00:35:11.760
You know, it's like, hey, we want, we're fighting for the same thing.
00:35:23.280
Broadly boasts why it's not just the progressive marriages that are struggling.
00:35:26.940
It's also the conservative and tribe marriages and a lot of people.
00:35:32.880
They're like, but I was earning good money and I was supporting my wife and kids.
00:35:37.480
And it's like, well, because she can, she can leave you and she can get a stipend for
00:35:41.320
the rest of her life and she can do whatever she wants.
00:35:43.480
And she doesn't need to make you meals anymore.
00:35:48.080
You did nothing to integrate her into your mission for life.
00:35:51.540
And there are ways a stay at home wife can be integrated into a man's mission for life.
00:36:04.060
If you just serve a role, you've done the single most risky thing you can in terms of
00:36:10.420
Anyway, am I going to look really stupid when you leave me in a year for hot rich guy who's
00:36:19.120
Like, I just, I can't, you know that like if you were to die, for example, and you're
00:36:24.440
not allowed to do that, by the way, there would be no replacement.
00:36:36.320
Like, I'm saying you should find another husband if I die.
00:36:40.440
Well, I'm not going to, cause I think like all, all humans disgust me.
00:36:51.760
They'll just watch your podcasts and I'll, you know, beat them up more.
00:37:11.840
Who's, who's the, who's the hypergamous one now?
00:37:37.140
Which, no, please cremate me and turn it into diamonds.
00:37:40.640
So our children can wear their mother and be creepy about it.
00:37:49.900
Hey, thank you for efficient use of time there, by the way.
00:37:52.680
Zoe, I'm going to handle the chickens after this, before I pick up the kids.
00:37:56.280
Oh, and your Christmas present to me has finally arrived.
00:38:05.500
She buys presents from me to her because I'm not, you know, the best.
00:38:10.220
I buy the presents for everyone in the family, but Malcolm still, with his discretionary income,
00:38:14.880
pays for them because he pays the exact same amount that I pay for him.
00:38:21.300
So, so no one in the family receives more in monetary value and gifts than anyone else.
00:38:29.900
I believe in equitable spending across the family.
00:38:43.520
This is why, you know, this is why Octavian had that irritated lip issue.
00:38:55.060
I'm going to put the same bitter, like, skin thing on your lips that we had to put on his,
00:39:03.940
You won't, you won't have an escape because you are a deep sleeper.
00:39:14.660
You see, it's not all, what are the guns and roses?
00:39:32.720
Why would some people want rainbows and sunshine?
00:39:44.800
We mentioned that because, you know, so many people were at NadalCon looking for a potential
00:39:50.620
husband or wife, that we'd start doing ads for women who are looking for a husband and
00:39:56.780
The reason we do it for women and not men is because most of our audience is men.
00:39:59.720
So most of the people who are going to be hearing this are going to be men.
00:40:02.840
And many of them will be single and potentially interested in marrying someone.
00:40:06.860
So if this person sounds interesting to you and you live in their area, you can email us
00:40:13.680
A creative young woman, 25, living in NYC and capable of managing money, conversing,
00:40:20.600
dancing, and all together making a calm, happy home.
00:40:23.840
Wishes to obtain an introduction to a sober, hardworking gentleman, not greatly her senior,
00:40:28.720
who delights in having children underfoot and is eager to build a lighthouse on the