Based Camp - Feminists Prefer to Date Misogynists： The Science

00:00:00.000 you helped me understand that I might have been significantly more dark triad

00:00:04.120 in the way I treated you early in our relationship.

00:00:06.420 You 100% were.

00:00:07.380 We've talked about this.

00:00:08.900 Not on air.

00:00:10.200 Oh.

00:00:11.040 I'm here like, guys, just be nice to girls.

00:00:14.240 Treat her with respect.

00:00:16.040 You know, meanwhile, early in my relationship.

00:00:18.240 But the point is, in the context, this sounds really bad

00:00:23.240 when you go back on it in the context.

00:00:26.240 You're just explaining your human manifestation of the research.

00:00:36.120 Case study, Malcolm.

00:00:37.920 I was just explaining why she comes to me.

00:00:41.980 You've got to understand this, guys.

00:00:43.300 So, like, what I did, first date.

00:00:47.400 Could it have been considered SA by progress?

00:00:50.200 Oh, yeah, that's true.

00:00:51.180 Oh, my God, Malcolm, what did you do?

00:00:53.660 Would you like to know more?

00:00:57.480 Hello, Simone. 0.69

00:00:58.660 Today we are going to be going over some studies that show that women are worse than I even knew 1.00

00:01:03.920 in terms of the types of partners that they go for.

00:01:06.000 Because I told you these this morning and you were shocked.

00:01:09.000 Not only do feminist women prefer more misogynistic men, we'll go into that study.

00:01:13.700 But in addition to that, males who admit to graping women are both more popular and have

00:01:21.900 more consensual sexual partners than men who do not.

00:01:26.660 And so we will go over all of the studies around this, what this really means.

00:01:31.820 And before I go too deep into this, what I will point out that we're going to find with

00:01:35.740 the graping behavior, is that this is more of a bimodal distribution, which means that

00:01:41.980 you see this sort of aggressive, coercive sexuality in both men who are unusually successful, i.e.

00:01:49.240 unusually popular, unusually sexually successful. 0.99

00:01:53.260 And you see it in men who are unusually dumb, unsuccessful, see themselves as pathetic. 1.00

00:01:59.440 That makes logical sense. 1.00

00:02:00.800 Yeah, I could totally see that.

00:02:02.500 I mean, it makes perfect evolutionary sense, too, right?

00:02:04.580 Like, it's also bad.

00:02:05.640 Yes.

00:02:06.140 Yeah.

00:02:06.820 The well, because you're at the top, you can get away with it, you know, impregnate as

00:02:10.240 many people as possible.

00:02:11.180 You're at the bottom.

00:02:11.940 There's no other way you're going to pass on your genes.

00:02:14.920 So you might as well go for your choice.

00:02:16.740 But to, yeah, all in all or nothing.

00:02:19.280 But what's interesting is it how women respond to all of this. 0.99

00:02:22.940 I'm Johnson and Hedges.

00:02:24.260 Open wide, kids, because I've got a grape in the mouth.

00:02:28.440 I'm not sure that I'm comfortable with the catchphrase, I'm going to grape you in the

00:02:35.980 mouth for our new mascot.

00:02:37.860 The second thing that we'll be going over with this, because I'm going to treat this

00:02:39.800 as a bit of a follow-up to the episode on host clubs, is a lot of men see this in the

00:02:46.880 red pill community, and they misunderstand it. 0.98

00:02:50.340 They think that women go for bastards disproportionately, who are the male conception of the 1.00

00:02:59.980 bastard instead of the female conception of the bastard. 1.00

00:03:05.500 And so they're out there trying to act like Andrew Tate when what women go for is, not all 1.00

00:03:12.020 men do, but there's like a portion of the community that thinks that's the type of bastard 0.99

00:03:15.480 that women want. 1.00

00:03:15.940 There are bastards in there, bastards. 1.00

00:03:17.960 You have to be the right kind of bastard. 1.00

00:03:19.240 Host clubs, yeah. 1.00

00:03:20.360 If you haven't watched the host club episode, I can only imagine like your typical red pillar. 0.99

00:03:24.820 You need to be a sociopath, not a psychopath.

00:03:27.800 Yeah, it goes up to a host, and it's one of these pretty boy host club guys.

00:03:31.920 That's what they all look like that we pointed out.

00:03:33.540 They're all like, yeah, twinkie looking, you know, very fae. 1.00

00:03:37.780 And he's like, I'm so tough.

00:03:39.480 You know, I'm full in to the dread game.

00:03:42.360 You know, sometimes when my woman talks back, I even smack her. 1.00

00:03:47.040 You know, I'm a real misogynist.

00:03:50.000 And then the host club guy's like, well, that's very interesting.

00:03:53.460 And he's like, what do you do with your women? 0.98

00:03:57.020 And he's like, well, 80% of women who see me, I've turned into sex slaves. 0.97

00:04:01.440 And you guys like, what for yourself? 0.98

00:04:03.340 No, no, no, no.

00:04:04.260 I actually sent them out to a brothel in Manila where they take most of the year. 1.00

00:04:08.060 They only see me for vacations and stuff like that.

00:04:11.600 For the rest of the time, they're essentially slaves.

00:04:14.780 And he's like, wait, what?

00:04:16.560 Like, like, wait, wait, wait, what?

00:04:19.200 What?

00:04:19.800 Stop.

00:04:20.100 Wait, we need to stop.

00:04:21.360 Just this guy's here.

00:04:22.640 How many women? 1.00

00:04:24.300 Like, like 35?

00:04:28.700 That's not okay, guys.

00:04:30.500 Like, man to man here.

00:04:33.740 Joker.

00:04:36.600 It's Bruce Wayne.

00:04:38.000 I just want you to know that like a normal person is under this.

00:04:41.420 Like, thinks it's really, really bad that you do this.

00:04:44.380 So, stop doing it.

00:04:46.920 Ugh, Batman.

00:04:49.260 Look, yeah, it's a new level of like profound screwed up.

00:04:53.200 Yeah, this is, no.

00:04:55.120 This is like smack go into the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

00:04:58.260 This is like, and then. 0.54

00:05:00.900 And then I'll sell your organs. 1.00

00:05:02.540 Yeah, oh my god.

00:05:04.400 But the guy's like, but I'm so polite about it.

00:05:06.400 No, but I think that this is what we're talking about. 1.00

00:05:07.740 The host, this sort of fade bastard, it's very vampire bastard. 1.00

00:05:12.120 You know, it's what women go for in their literature. 1.00

00:05:14.240 But it is not the bastard that men think that women are going for. 0.97

00:05:18.420 So that's what we're going to get into in this as well. 0.97

00:05:20.140 Oh, and by the way, it is not uncommon, even though the hosts dress up nice and everything

00:05:23.980 like that to grate the women who are with them. 0.95

00:05:26.760 It's just the women don't care or report them in the same way they do when a big, gruff, 1.00

00:05:31.580 masculine man grates them, right?

00:05:33.660 Because of context.

00:05:35.620 Which we'll get into why this happens as well, because it's very interesting.

00:05:37.900 We actually went a bit further on this after another episode recording that I'll post here,

00:05:41.760 because it is so fun to watch guys thieve when they reflect on the type of man that women

00:05:48.640 actually go for versus the type that the manosphere community tells them that they go for.

00:05:55.140 I've been posting, and I'll put some in the next episode, about, like, guys totally misjudging

00:06:00.540 what women are interested in. 0.71

00:06:02.140 Oh.

00:06:03.100 And I want to put some of, like, David Bowie, you know, who's a man's master.

00:06:08.400 Like, he's a dark, sexy, a third.

00:06:10.100 It's so funny!

00:06:18.140 Justin Bieber.

00:06:19.340 I'm like, do you, do you, Bieber, he's a great example. 0.99

00:06:22.400 Do you look at who women thirst over, you buffoons? 1.00

00:06:26.340 Like, why are you, it's actually funny, if you look at the idols that women have thirsted over, 1.00

00:06:30.740 whether it's Prince or Michael Jackson or Justin Bieber, that bitch with you, 1.00

00:06:34.060 none of them have ever been buffed. 0.99

00:06:37.300 I know, I know.

00:06:38.420 There isn't even an example.

00:06:39.500 People will always point to Fabio, and I'm like, I have never met a young woman who fantasized about Fabio, okay?

00:06:44.760 Yeah, I don't know, I don't know who, who it was who thought that he would appeal,

00:06:49.760 or maybe he, like, appealed to this very specific generation.

00:06:52.700 I really don't know what's up with that.

00:06:54.300 It is very bizarre to me.

00:06:55.820 Have you ever met a woman who thought Fabio was attractive?

00:06:58.240 Like, I've never, never.

00:06:59.800 No, categorically no.

00:07:01.120 Yeah.

00:07:01.720 Lots of Johnny Depps.

00:07:04.100 Parley?

00:07:04.700 That's the one.

00:07:05.740 Parley!

00:07:06.620 Stop it! 0.99

00:07:09.500 Not sure I deserve that.

00:07:11.620 Lots of, lots of Pirates of the Caribbean, you know?

00:07:13.740 100%, yeah.

00:07:14.540 Lots of, lots of, lots of Lokis. 1.00

00:07:16.140 I have never met this man in my life.

00:07:18.780 He's my brother.

00:07:19.900 Adopted.

00:07:20.460 He transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes.

00:07:23.280 So I went to pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself, and he was like,

00:07:27.160 Yeah, it's me!

00:07:27.940 And he stabbed me.

00:07:29.300 We were eight at the time.

00:07:31.560 And, and I mean, John, and what, which, what's funny about the character of Jack Sparrow

00:07:36.540 is that it's just Keith Richards cosplay, but pirate style.

00:07:41.340 We're in like, Keith Richards.

00:07:42.720 And, and yeah, and, and Keith Richards is not exactly, uh, you know, he's not the stereotypical

00:07:49.080 buff man either.

00:07:50.100 He's, he's a drugged out rock star.

00:07:52.640 Anyway.

00:07:53.780 So, in a article titled, The Characteristics of Sexually Coercive Men and the Nature of Sexual

00:08:00.660 Coercion, and another one, Why do some men sexually coerce women in evolutionary perspective?

00:08:05.940 What they found in this study, and the corroborating ones, researchers surveyed heterosexual young

00:08:11.300 adult men using questions about self-reported use of force to obtain sex, e.g. have you had

00:08:17.380 sexual intercourse with a woman even though she didn't want to because, because you use 0.98

00:08:22.600 some degree of physical force. 0.93

00:08:24.320 They measured mating success via self-reports of attractiveness of the opposite sex, number

00:08:30.180 of partners, sexual history, etc.

00:08:31.760 So, the key findings, men self-reported mating success, more consensual partners, perceived

00:08:37.340 attractiveness, positively correlated with the likelihood of admitting to using force

00:08:41.540 of coercion.

00:08:42.620 Men reporting higher consensual partner counts were more likely to also report coercive behaviors.

00:08:49.640 This went against the mate deprivation ideas.

00:08:53.840 Now, note here, it doesn't go entirely against it because you also see a higher on the other

00:08:58.480 end, but we'll get to that in just a second.

00:09:00.040 A follow-up correlatory study, Maelsma, 1998, replicated these findings.

00:09:05.860 And then a third relevant study, Sin et al, 2000, predicting coercive sexual behavior across

00:09:11.780 the lifespan in a random sample of Canadian men.

00:09:14.960 This used a community study of 195 men.

00:09:19.260 So, this is pretty good, right?

00:09:20.580 And these are Caucasian men as well.

00:09:21.900 See, we're looking at Caucasian audiences.

00:09:23.480 From a small Canadian city, which also keeps it, you know, very, you know, sort of insular

00:09:27.440 here, found about 27% reported some sexual coercion slash assault, where around 7.7% reported

00:09:34.480 attempted slash completed grape.

00:09:36.720 Now, adolescent promiscuity slash short-term mating success and more partners in adolescence

00:09:41.800 was one of the strongest predictors of later sexual coercion.

00:09:45.140 So, it is the chads out there.

00:09:52.960 I saw this in a meme on the base camp setwriters where I saw it.

00:09:58.120 They're like, just imagine, like, the chads out there, like, yeah, you know, I sometimes

00:10:02.120 grape a woman, like, whatever. 1.00

00:10:05.240 Just whatever. 0.86

00:10:06.820 Oh, my God.

00:10:08.880 I mean, it totally makes sense, though, because I think also the guys are like, well, I mean,

00:10:13.060 women just feel so lucky to be with me. 1.00

00:10:16.140 She's just, also, I think men who are more sexually experienced also are more aware of

00:10:20.700 the fact that women like, on average, dominance.

00:10:24.480 And then they may misread resistance for, like, but no, please, actually, do the thing.

00:10:30.400 Actually, this is a really strong point.

00:10:31.880 So, keep in mind, this is not the woman's perspective on what happened that's being judged

00:10:36.820 here.

00:10:37.100 This is them giving men questions about the type of smexual encounters they had when they

00:10:44.100 had these encounters and what happened during those encounters, right?

00:10:48.780 And then they, the scientists, get down and write in a book, this overwent this line that's

00:10:55.600 important was in our community, right?

00:10:58.460 Okay, I need to find a way to say this.

00:11:01.960 So, if you are a guy who sleeps around a lot, you are going to get very good at judging,

00:11:11.180 like Simone said, when a woman actually, like, when the resistance is part of the sexual experience 0.99

00:11:19.840 for the woman, or when the resistance is, like, a genuine...

00:11:25.360 Yeah, it's genuine, yeah.

00:11:27.260 It is not part of the game or, like, a playful fantasy, but real.

00:11:33.040 Real and meaningful.

00:11:34.540 And this is something that just requires a lot of experience to know.

00:11:38.340 And what they're saying here is men who have a lot of experience, when they reply on these

00:11:42.460 surveys, they go over boundaries that me, Mr. Progressive Scientist, has categorized as

00:11:49.220 coercion.

00:11:50.380 When, in reality, I'm going to be honest here, and I think that a lot of the red pill has

00:11:54.440 taken the wrong thing away from these particular studies.

00:11:56.360 My guess is that a lot of it isn't actually coercion.

00:12:00.460 And that if you asked the women who were involved in these encounters, they would not have contextualized

00:12:06.280 it as coercion.

00:12:07.860 They would be like, but that was...

00:12:12.360 What are you talking about?

00:12:13.800 I was not great.

00:12:15.220 That was our thing.

00:12:17.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:12:18.060 But to Progressive...

00:12:19.740 Okay, I'll use an extreme example here, right?

00:12:23.060 To maybe help somebody who might be struggling understanding what I mean by this.

00:12:27.960 Suppose you, every day was your girl.

00:12:31.160 You're Mr. Amazing Progressive.

00:12:33.080 And every day was your girl.

00:12:34.760 You go and you have her sign out the, I consent to, you know, rough smex today where I like

00:12:43.480 to pretend to resist you, right?

00:12:45.400 I mean, that's a common fantasy. 0.65

00:12:47.160 That's a common sex play game, right? 0.60

00:12:49.480 So you do that every day.

00:12:50.840 And you've done that every day for two or three months now.

00:12:54.000 And then one day, you know, you're in a situation and you begin to get frisky with each other

00:12:59.700 naturally because you didn't have time to do the consent forms that day.

00:13:02.700 And she starts to do all the things that she normally does after signing the consent forms. 0.99

00:13:08.580 And you go along with it because that's just what you're doing.

00:13:11.900 Now you go talk to a scientist and the scientist says,

00:13:14.940 hmm, you went up, she didn't sign the consent form that day.

00:13:19.860 And you're like, I know her behavior patterns well enough to know what I'm doing here, okay?

00:13:26.560 So I want to be clear about that because I think that's a really strong point here.

00:13:30.400 But what is important to note is that you see this across like all the studies, right?

00:13:35.740 So to go to more studies here, right?

00:13:38.720 Lemery et al., 1996, a test of mate deprivation hypothesis of sexual coercion.

00:13:44.380 This is one of the core studies behind the claim.

00:13:46.260 In a sample of 156 young heterosexual men, self-reported sexually coercive men had higher

00:13:51.320 self-perceived mating success, more extensive sexual histories, more partners, and greater

00:13:55.860 preference for casual sex, partner variety, and lower earning potential.

00:14:00.840 This is directly partner variety.

00:14:03.180 Oh, and no lower earning potential.

00:14:04.980 Oh, I was going to say lower earning.

00:14:06.520 This is that what?

00:14:08.300 Directly.

00:14:09.020 And then there's Canon, 1985, study of self-identified date grapists, college men, 71, self-disclosed

00:14:16.700 date grapists.

00:14:17.080 How did they get that?

00:14:17.980 We want date grapists for this study. 0.99

00:14:20.620 We're compared to controls.

00:14:22.120 The coercive men were 41% more sexually successful slash experienced than non-coercive peers.

00:14:28.920 41% is big, by the way.

00:14:31.100 That is a, yeah.

00:14:35.040 But I mean, I also would, would say just, and of course the eighties was a different time.

00:14:40.740 Let's be very clear.

00:14:41.560 Also, this is really old research, unfortunately.

00:14:43.840 One thing I noticed, though, when, when I had my very brief stint on the dating market in

00:14:50.600 2012, in like the, the three months before I met you, no one made a move.

00:14:56.880 No one was assertive.

00:14:58.900 And, and, and that, I mean, now, now, you know, more than 10 years later, men on college

00:15:05.680 campuses, as we've been told by professors, are too afraid to even approach women because 0.97

00:15:11.340 they're afraid of being accused of something, this is creating an environment in which only

00:15:15.780 people who, even if they're like literally asking like just a girl for her phone number

00:15:21.200 in some environments will feel as though he is practically attacking her, you know?

00:15:28.500 But I do think that it's important to note that the utter lack of initiative being taken

00:15:36.320 by many men would mean that any man who takes initiative is going to have a very extreme

00:15:43.860 advantage.

00:15:44.960 You, you talk about other men not taking initiative.

00:15:46.940 So like what I did first date, I couldn't have been considered SA by progress.

00:15:52.940 I think I never asked for your consent.

00:15:54.440 I basically just led you to an isolated location, which came up against the wall.

00:15:59.120 Yeah.

00:15:59.440 And.

00:15:59.840 Oh my God, Malcolm, what did you do?

00:16:05.040 Re-contextualization. 0.96

00:16:05.660 Now you're like, oh God, I was sexually assaulted by a woman. 0.85

00:16:11.700 But I had the experience to know that that's like, and this is what I talk about.

00:16:19.520 Remember how I said like the, it's not just about having the experience to know, oh, there's

00:16:23.280 one person who I've been signing this contract was every day.

00:16:25.680 I had enough experience with different women that when I saw the way you were reacting 1.00

00:16:29.400 to everything I was doing, I didn't expect any sort of, like, you didn't have a negative

00:16:33.540 reaction when you went home that night.

00:16:35.060 You weren't like.

00:16:36.040 No.

00:16:37.100 Journaling.

00:16:37.880 Oh my God.

00:16:38.880 Worst night of my life.

00:16:40.400 Yeah.

00:16:40.820 No, not at all.

00:16:43.060 Yeah.

00:16:44.460 Well, no, but I mean, what was your reaction?

00:16:46.160 So this is something that they would have categorized as SA.

00:16:49.020 Like.

00:16:49.660 Yes.

00:16:50.020 Is it, I mean, I, we would have to look at the survey design to determine it, but yeah,

00:16:55.000 I mean, you, you didn't, we didn't have, we didn't stop and have a conversation about

00:17:00.000 words, boundaries, actions, safe words.

00:17:02.440 No, but I also used my physicality to restrain you before.

00:17:08.060 Yeah.

00:17:08.340 And you also, yeah.

00:17:10.020 Like we were in an isolated private area.

00:17:12.680 Yeah.

00:17:13.080 Yeah.

00:17:13.340 So I had taken you somewhere.

00:17:14.840 No one could hear me scream.

00:17:16.740 I physically restrained you.

00:17:18.880 Yeah.

00:17:19.260 Right.

00:17:19.760 And so what was your thought then or after that?

00:17:24.740 Squee? 0.82

00:17:25.360 I was obviously excited and very taken with you.

00:17:28.380 Like.

00:17:28.460 No, but, but the, the point I'm making is.

00:17:32.520 Would you have felt the same way if I had gone over like a list of like, okay, I'm going

00:17:36.720 to do X was you now, and I'm going to do Y was, you know.

00:17:39.340 Well, for some people, that's like a form of dirty talk or foreplay, right? 0.99

00:17:45.280 Like I'm going to do this to you and I'm going to do that to you.

00:17:47.460 Is it to you?

00:17:49.140 I don't, I don't know.

00:17:50.560 I, I'm.

00:17:51.860 Cause no one's ever done that with me before.

00:17:53.900 So I couldn't tell you.

00:17:54.880 The only one you heard.

00:17:55.720 Yeah.

00:17:55.960 Okay.

00:17:56.260 Yeah.

00:17:56.740 I really don't know.

00:17:59.420 To continue here.

00:18:00.620 Abby et al. 0.98

00:18:01.620 Various longitudinal studies, 2000 onwards on college men, repeat SA perpetrators, men who

00:18:07.680 coerced multiple times had the most extreme scores on promiscuity related measures, more

00:18:12.660 lifetime dating partners, earlier age at first consensual, more consensual partners over time

00:18:17.840 and higher alcohol use in sexual contexts.

00:18:20.940 They also scored higher on hostility towards women, callous attitudes and adolescent delinquency.

00:18:26.660 Well, that.

00:18:26.940 I think anyone who's exposed more to anything has a more callous attitude, you know, nurses

00:18:35.680 in the NICU have, I mean, they're, they're, they care, they can care a lot about babies,

00:18:40.120 but they also have more callous attitude because they've been exposed to a lot, you know, they're

00:18:44.540 not going to have the same heightened reaction to every little thing because they've been doctors

00:18:49.240 to people, the DMV, like they just.

00:18:51.940 Don't like when you've exposed to a certain number, like a scenario type or a person type

00:18:58.000 a certain number of times, policemen, right.

00:19:01.480 You know, they, they see a lot of stuff, right.

00:19:04.800 Whereas like you and I would step onto a crime scene.

00:19:07.260 We would maybe vomit, right.

00:19:08.900 Like a lot of EMTs in their, in their first rounds will, will vomit out of, you know, disgust

00:19:16.520 or fear or all these sorts of things.

00:19:18.180 Right.

00:19:18.460 And then over time they don't because they get used to it.

00:19:21.360 So of course they're going to get like, it would be weird if they weren't more callous

00:19:25.260 because they're more experienced.

00:19:26.740 It's weird that that would be reframed as some kind of disturbing dark triad trait when

00:19:34.280 it's just a, it's a reality of becoming experienced.

00:19:38.020 Does that make sense?

00:19:39.980 Yeah.

00:19:40.900 Yeah.

00:19:41.120 No, I actually think that's a good one.

00:19:43.000 And that's sort of what I'm realizing when I go through these.

00:19:44.800 It's not clear to me what's just experience and what.

00:19:48.780 Yeah.

00:19:49.000 Like a good control would be boys who've had a lot of, who have a lot of sisters, you

00:19:54.220 know, like, are, are, are they more callous to women? 0.72

00:19:56.500 I mean, they're also more attuned.

00:19:58.240 Like it's a double-edged sword.

00:20:00.400 Well, hold on.

00:20:00.740 Let's go directly into dark triad traits here.

00:20:02.540 Abby et al. 0.98

00:20:03.340 Various longitudinal studies.

00:20:04.540 Wait, no.

00:20:05.100 Cause actually I looked this up.

00:20:06.220 Remember I looked up.

00:20:07.260 Did, did, do, do boys who have a lot of sisters, are they more progressive or conservative?

00:20:12.400 And they're more conservative.

00:20:15.400 The more sisters you have. 0.99

00:20:16.860 Oh, I love that you expand our knowledge by searching things like that.

00:20:21.920 This is how you got to.

00:20:23.340 It's like.

00:20:24.020 No, no, hold on.

00:20:24.560 Hold on.

00:20:24.900 This is host behavior here.

00:20:26.620 This is how you've got to talk to a woman to subdue her. 1.00

00:20:29.900 Oh my God.

00:20:32.600 Continue.

00:20:33.640 No, you can't.

00:20:35.140 Anyway, so, so dark triad traits and short-term mating success.

00:20:39.660 Multiple studies, Johnson et al. 2009, Johnson and Kavanaugh 2010, and review slash synthesis up until recent years show that men that are higher in dark triad traits report more sexual partners and have a greater preference for short-term unrestricted mating and higher mating success in casual context.

00:20:57.160 These traits facilitate exploitative acts, including.

00:21:00.160 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:21:00.840 They're like guys with higher body counts appear to have more interest in short-term relation.

00:21:07.040 I mean, obviously, how do you get a higher body count when, like, I'm so confused.

00:21:15.400 I think that one of the things that researchers miss in a lot of the research on the dark triad traits correlating with more partners misses is that as you settle down or become more monogamous or in a long-term relationship as a guy, your psychology changes pretty dramatically.

00:21:33.900 Your hormonal profile changes pretty dramatically, and your rate of dark triad traits is going to decrease pretty dramatically.

00:21:42.400 So a guy who is in a long-term relationship with lots of kids, take me now versus me before, is going to be dramatically less dark triad than a guy who is sleeping around a lot.

00:21:54.640 And that's just part adaptive psychology, right?

00:21:59.900 Like, if dark triad traits make it easier for you to impregnate a lot of women and not have to worry about the consequences, your body is going to adapt to that because that's what you're genetically optimized to do. 0.83

00:22:11.860 When you are in a long-term partnership and have five or six kids running around the house, having dark triad traits is biologically maladaptive, right?

00:22:20.140 And I think that the red pill has convinced too many guys to take pride in dark triad traits for their own sake than understanding that it is an adaptive mechanism for short-term partner cleaning up and not...

00:22:35.520 Although, you helped me understand that I might have been significantly more dark triad in the way I treated you early in our relationship.

00:22:43.040 You 100% were. We've talked about this.

00:22:45.520 Not on air.

00:22:46.820 Oh.

00:22:47.640 Yeah.

00:22:47.780 So, you told me this morning, I was like, oh, I was nice enough to you.

00:22:52.840 And you were like, you were not.

00:22:54.740 You were like, early in our relationship, you can say it.

00:22:59.260 I mean, well, your plan was to never marry me.

00:23:03.320 Go marry some heiress or like prestigious Stanford MBA grad.

00:23:08.240 And then just basically use me for free labor as your side piece because I helped you a lot with like your work and entrepreneurial stuff.

00:23:16.660 And like, I was just like a work engine, a workhorse.

00:23:21.340 And you knew that I was also obsessed with you.

00:23:23.440 And so, no matter what, you could depend on me to just be your girl Friday and always be there for you, even though you had some other wife and you probably would continue sleeping with me anyway. 0.80

00:23:35.440 And because you were joking about how like, well, you weren't, you know, like, you weren't so sure about me.

00:23:39.960 And I'm like, well, obviously I wasn't.

00:23:41.540 Because obviously you weren't planning to commit to me.

00:23:44.380 You were planning to exploit me and not provide really anything meaningful in return.

00:23:49.620 Like, I remember, I wasn't, I didn't lay this all over.

00:23:52.380 You were honest about that.

00:23:53.540 You were very explicit about that.

00:23:56.000 I wasn't good enough for you, but I was still useful to you.

00:24:01.060 And, and, and, and it's such a surprise to you that my parents weren't immediately enthused when you proposed to me and that, that they were a little reticent that they didn't give you that.

00:24:12.100 Wait, did you tell them I had said that?

00:24:14.280 I don't think I had, I don't, I don't, I don't know how they picked up on it, but like, I asked you this morning.

00:24:19.480 I was like, listen, if, if you knew that that was the dynamic of like one of our daughter's boyfriends, would you give him your blessing?

00:24:27.580 Probably not.

00:24:28.260 I should be clear here.

00:24:29.480 I didn't lay this out to Simone as part of some like psychological dread game or anything like that.

00:24:34.300 No, it was the truth.

00:24:35.800 It was the truth.

00:24:37.040 I was just like, you do not have right now a particularly good job.

00:24:42.400 You didn't go to a top university.

00:24:44.800 You're not generating any money.

00:24:46.280 Like I can probably secure somebody who brings in at least, you know, 10, 20 million from a, an heiress or something.

00:24:55.380 Right.

00:24:55.700 You know, and if I, I do really well, 50, 60 million, then I don't have to worry about money anymore or somebody who has an elite degree, who's going to get a good job and support me.

00:25:05.800 Right.

00:25:06.260 Like I, I, you know, I, I would just like laid it out.

00:25:10.200 Like, I'm like, I I've got the, the credentials I need to secure a partner like that.

00:25:14.480 Right.

00:25:14.720 Like, and I did, and I was like, so why would I like, and it wasn't just that you told me you didn't want to marry.

00:25:20.800 You told me you didn't want a relationship.

00:25:22.060 And so I was like, fine.

00:25:22.920 Right.

00:25:23.240 I was, I was also transparent that my, my mission was to fall in love and have my heart broken in one year.

00:25:28.040 This is why we both amicably, amicably agreed to break up on July 31st.

00:25:34.220 But this wasn't like, the problem was that you planned on not respecting my desire to just move on and be alone forever.

00:25:42.180 After that, you were like, ah, I could still like use you for free work.

00:25:46.080 Well, and I said, you want that ultimately, because it's not like you had somebody else you were going to go to, to work for.

00:25:51.500 Or, but yeah, but I, I would feel terrible if I was doing it because I loved you and you were with some other woman.

00:25:58.480 Simone, Simone, but the point is, in the context, this sounds really bad when you go back on it in the context.

00:26:09.440 But, but, no, this is, this is the point.

00:26:12.560 You were just, you're just explaining your, you're, you're, you're a human manifestation of the research.

00:26:18.360 Case study, Malcolm.

00:26:20.140 I was just explaining why, she comes to me.

00:26:24.220 You got to understand this, guys.

00:26:25.560 So she comes to me.

00:26:26.840 We're you the victim here.

00:26:28.960 That's true.

00:26:29.780 It's true.

00:26:30.220 People on the internet are like, wow, he's way out of her league.

00:26:33.980 Like, so she, what happened there?

00:26:36.560 She says, I'm just looking to fall in love and have my heart broken because I've never dated.

00:26:41.860 I've never slept with anyone.

00:26:42.900 I've never done any of that.

00:26:44.140 I want to call it off.

00:26:45.040 I do not want to be married.

00:26:46.020 I do not want to be in a long-term relationship.

00:26:47.980 So when I'm telling her all of this stuff about who I wanted to marry, what I was looking for in a partner,

00:26:52.900 I was telling her all this stuff was the understanding that we were going to break up.

00:26:57.220 Then she made me promise that I was going to break up with her.

00:27:00.580 This is not me like trying to psych her out or something like that.

00:27:04.940 But the, the point being is that when you, when you tell it back the way that you're telling it,

00:27:10.660 because here's the way I saw it.

00:27:13.040 Okay.

00:27:13.780 Okay.

00:27:14.300 Okay.

00:27:14.560 I'm just, you're telling me I have to break up with you.

00:27:17.200 Okay.

00:27:17.760 So I'm just telling you, well, this is what I'm going to do after I break up with you.

00:27:21.000 This is what I'm looking for in a partner.

00:27:22.160 If you know any women like this, let me know. 1.00

00:27:23.840 You weren't going to marry me.

00:27:25.660 Hold, hold on.

00:27:26.740 Yeah.

00:27:26.940 Because you told me not to marry.

00:27:28.660 You told me you wanted to break up.

00:27:30.380 You were also.

00:27:31.000 No, no, no.

00:27:31.820 You said, look, I'm not looking to date.

00:27:33.740 I'm looking to find a wife and I intend to find her at Stanford where there's a large

00:27:36.900 school.

00:27:37.540 And you said you wanted to break up.

00:27:39.180 You were very clear.

00:27:40.500 And so the thing that you're mad at me about.

00:27:43.200 I'm not mad at you.

00:27:44.860 I'm not mad.

00:27:46.180 I'm not mad.

00:27:47.160 The thing you were distressed about at the time.

00:27:50.260 Distressed?

00:27:51.320 I just didn't.

00:27:52.380 Listen, I wanted to fall in love and have my heart broken and get over it.

00:27:59.400 I didn't want to be like.

00:28:00.740 Yes, that's the point.

00:28:01.760 You wanted to get over it.

00:28:02.780 You wanted to sisyphus me.

00:28:04.640 I didn't want that.

00:28:05.620 No, here I am.

00:28:06.720 Good guy, Malcolm, who's like, I'm not going to abandon my friend and business partner.

00:28:12.000 I want to be more shade with her.

00:28:14.360 Thanks, Malcolm.

00:28:15.260 It's so fun to talk to, right?

00:28:19.100 You know, what are you even talking about?

00:28:21.300 I was just like, oh, I really enjoy spending time with her and working with her.

00:28:26.080 So, of course, even though we break up and I find a real wife, we're still going to work

00:28:31.900 together.

00:28:32.320 We're still going to be friends.

00:28:33.560 She wanted me to like go.

00:28:35.040 In fairness to Malcolm, he was on good terms with every ex-girlfriend.

00:28:39.820 Like, there was no ambiguity that we wouldn't be on good terms.

00:28:44.140 Like one of my exes was one of my like bridesmaids, like one of my groomsmen, right?

00:28:49.260 Like, yeah.

00:28:50.500 Yeah.

00:28:50.760 Most attractive person at our wedding for like everyone agreed.

00:28:54.080 Even my parents.

00:28:55.400 That was really embarrassing that your parents agreed.

00:28:58.920 My parents don't lie.

00:29:00.160 They're not liars.

00:29:01.140 And I will admit.

00:29:04.160 How do I put this?

00:29:05.640 That they were right.

00:29:06.420 No, not that.

00:29:07.900 Just when contrasted with the women I had dated before you, that was another thing that probably

00:29:12.920 put you in that second.

00:29:14.000 Because I date very attractive people, typically.

00:29:17.040 It's true.

00:29:17.300 It's true.

00:29:17.760 He's right.

00:29:18.540 It's what does Azula say?

00:29:21.180 She was right, of course, but it still hurt.

00:29:24.540 It hurts.

00:29:25.920 But she's right.

00:29:26.420 And I often preach on this channel that you should not just marry someone because you

00:29:33.580 think that they're the hottest person you're going to get to marry you. 0.98

00:29:35.640 Let's hire the smart, fat girl. 1.00

00:29:37.680 You should go for the workhorse, which everybody knows is what I wanted, right? 0.94

00:29:43.720 I'm a workhorse guy, right?

00:29:45.800 You're very attractive, I will say.

00:29:47.940 You wanted Whistler's mother, not the thought.

00:29:51.740 Yeah.

00:29:51.920 But you weren't necessarily when contrasted with, but the point I'm making here is I

00:29:58.340 created an environment that was way more Dread game than I now contextualize it as having

00:30:05.160 been.

00:30:05.400 Yeah, you forgot that whole, that whole thing.

00:30:08.920 That whole thing.

00:30:09.840 That whole thing.

00:30:14.840 I'm here like, guys, just be nice to girls.

00:30:17.940 Like, what are you talking about?

00:30:19.880 You know, treat her with respect, you know, meanwhile, early in my relationship.

00:30:24.720 Well, but I mean, there's so many layers to it.

00:30:26.940 And I think, you know, part of the fantasy too is this, like the female makeover transformation 0.93

00:30:31.920 thing, right?

00:30:33.060 And like you did, like this, we dated before Fifty Shades of Grey was even written, right?

00:30:37.860 I think so.

00:30:38.620 I think so, yeah.

00:30:39.700 But like one thing that happens is in Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian Grey, this like billionaire

00:30:45.280 or whatever, I think he like, I haven't read the books and I haven't watched, I could not

00:30:50.200 watch all that.

00:30:50.820 Like, it's so bad.

00:30:51.840 I just can't.

00:30:52.720 Oh, but I think he puts her on a diet and he like tries to hire her.

00:30:57.460 Like people, women like this, like he's going to make me better kind of thing.

00:31:02.280 And he didn't know you were like, well, like, what do you want to achieve in your life?

00:31:05.640 And well, how can you achieve it?

00:31:08.000 And how can you be more systematic about that?

00:31:09.900 And we completely changed my life strategy to not around your goals, your goals for me

00:31:16.300 or your interests in how you could exploit me, but rather what I stated as my personal

00:31:20.160 life's goals and dreams.

00:31:21.680 And you helped me achieve them more effectively than my undergraduate college experience, than

00:31:28.220 like any other advisor or mentor that, you know.

00:31:31.120 Like during the few months we were dating, she went from the, like managing the company's

00:31:34.760 Facebook account to being the director of marketing at the 45th highest traffic website

00:31:39.060 in the, in the U S.

00:31:40.300 I did get a major promotion and I got a lot more responsibilities, but I did more than just

00:31:44.500 manage those Facebook positions at TechCrunch where you never, what was it?

00:31:48.240 Not TechCrunch.

00:31:48.760 It was the, that's that big tech fest in Austin.

00:31:50.680 Oh, I spoke at South by.

00:31:52.000 Yeah.

00:31:52.300 You won some big competition that I encouraged you to apply to and you spoke at South by Southwest.

00:31:56.280 And then, um, we changed your outfit.

00:31:58.620 We changed your, we worked on like all sorts of all, all over change.

00:32:04.760 Which again, I guess could look Machiavellian or dismissive that I'm like this.

00:32:09.600 No, no, no.

00:32:10.000 The point I was making with that was that it's not just that you were dread gaming me and

00:32:14.980 being mean.

00:32:16.060 You were also to, to the point we made in the host club episode, where like the one guy

00:32:22.020 giving advice on how he makes a lot of money as a host is he, you know, builds a dossier

00:32:28.680 of the women's interests and what they're up to. 0.99

00:32:30.860 And then he, he focuses in on the, you, you, you intimately got to understand what I thought

00:32:36.460 and what I valued.

00:32:37.360 And then yes, and did that into, well, then how do we do this more for you?

00:32:41.940 How do I make your dreams come true?

00:32:43.520 And that, that, so I'm, I just want to make it clear that you weren't only dark triadding 1.00

00:32:48.920 during this whole time and that you later forgot about it.

00:32:51.700 Well, hold on.

00:32:52.400 Would I ever actively mean to you during that period?

00:32:56.960 No, you were, you were Malcolm, you were blunt, you know, I'm like, well, I want to do this

00:33:04.360 with my life.

00:33:04.980 And you're like, looking like that.

00:33:06.260 I mean, like, you know, you were, but I mean, that's with everyone that you actually care

00:33:10.060 for and trust, you are blunt when.

00:33:12.940 Your outfit wouldn't have allowed you to achieve that.

00:33:15.360 No, you were right.

00:33:16.080 I'm not.

00:33:16.780 Yeah.

00:33:17.280 Because you weren't being mean.

00:33:18.700 You were being honest.

00:33:20.140 And she dressed like Amelia back then.

00:33:21.880 Yeah, I did.

00:33:25.320 I've come, I've come kind of full circle, you know, I'm, I'm back in, you know, historical

00:33:30.160 costumes.

00:33:31.240 I started out in historical costumes and now I'm back in historical costumes, except

00:33:34.960 now I'm just not wearing the occasional like hard.

00:33:37.300 But I think that people miss, they conflate dark triad, like personality and traits with

00:33:44.680 being mean or cruel.

00:33:46.360 Yeah.

00:33:46.740 And I think that that's not true, right?

00:33:48.940 You can be like, it's about being ruthless.

00:33:51.840 It's about being effective and that it's, it's a show of power and not caring about like

00:33:58.940 a lack of insecurity.

00:34:00.240 It's about showing power and confidence.

00:34:02.000 I think there's a high correlation between dark triad traits and power, assertiveness,

00:34:07.920 confidence, and initiative, which are all incredibly sexy things.

00:34:12.400 And they just sometimes look dark triad-y.

00:34:15.200 I think that's part of the thing that confuses them.

00:34:16.560 Here's what I wonder, is dark triad just not having time for other people's BS, right?

00:34:21.060 Like, is-

00:34:22.280 Now, what, what even is dark triad?

00:34:23.840 Is that like a psychological term?

00:34:25.280 Well, they say it's narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy, but Machiavellianism just

00:34:30.600 seems like a good plan.

00:34:31.980 Well, narcissists, but narcissists are deeply insecure.

00:34:34.900 I don't, I don't see how narcissism has to do with any of this.

00:34:38.700 Well, I think that there's an easy way to see confidence and, and, and self-assurance.

00:34:46.520 That's narcissism.

00:34:47.920 It's narcissists if you are trying to paint somebody in a negative light.

00:34:52.340 Like, I have a huge ego, but I wouldn't say I'm narcissistic.

00:34:56.920 Even, even back then, I don't think I was particularly narcissistic, but I definitely-

00:35:00.200 The world's not about you.

00:35:02.780 My, my understanding of narcissism is that the world is about them, that confidence is

00:35:09.400 not real and deeply held because there's a deep level of self-hatred and like inward

00:35:15.260 insecurity, which you lack.

00:35:18.580 You can't walk by a mirror without being like-

00:35:20.400 When AI described my-

00:35:23.340 Oh God, yeah.

00:35:24.760 You, you had AI make a dossier of Nick Fuentes and also you.

00:35:29.240 That's a good idea.

00:35:29.780 Yeah, but I thought that the, one of the terms that it repeatedly uses to describe my view

00:35:35.460 of myself or my view of humanity is messianic.

00:35:41.260 And that's a better, better description than narcissist.

00:35:45.160 It's an immense, an immense self-confidence to the point of it being debilitating, but not

00:35:52.920 a self-confidence that is at the like expense of other people.

00:35:57.380 It's just that I am delusionally-

00:36:00.380 Delusions of grandeur.

00:36:01.460 Manically self-confident.

00:36:02.820 Right.

00:36:03.000 Yeah.

00:36:03.960 But I-

00:36:04.380 The motto is to be delusions of grandeur.

00:36:05.980 When I met you, I gave you like a life plan and you jumped up to like a world player.

00:36:12.240 And I was like, okay.

00:36:13.540 Yeah.

00:36:13.820 And like the typical dark triad misogynist would not build up a woman like that.

00:36:19.120 They may exploit a woman.

00:36:20.440 They may position her in a way where she can make money that he will then take, but you didn't

00:36:25.360 do either of those things.

00:36:26.580 Well, I mean, I wanted to, but by that, what I mean is I didn't, you know, I didn't, I,

00:36:30.760 I wanted financial security for my wife. 0.86

00:36:33.000 So I say, well, we need to get you into a good degree.

00:36:35.580 And so you started crying when I said this.

00:36:37.180 I remember because you-

00:36:37.920 Oh yeah, this was after we, yeah, we were engaged.

00:36:40.780 Yeah.

00:36:41.060 Yeah.

00:36:41.240 And I was like, you have to get a good degree. 0.51

00:36:42.980 Like this is gross and embarrassing.

00:36:44.700 And so I was like, here are the colleges you could apply to.

00:36:48.700 And you, you told me it didn't matter that people would see you for who you were and your

00:36:53.800 own intelligence.

00:36:54.440 And I said, I was wrong, by the way.

00:36:57.240 No, they weren't.

00:36:57.520 And, and that was, I remember it not because like I was mean to her that night.

00:37:02.080 I was like, okay, create a list of everyone who you admire on LinkedIn.

00:37:06.360 Right.

00:37:07.320 And see if any of them didn't go to a top quality school or, or they didn't achieve their money.

00:37:12.540 Like women you admire that didn't achieve their money through marriage or being born into 1.00

00:37:15.340 it.

00:37:15.940 And after you went through the list, you started crying because you realized that I was right.

00:37:19.500 Not like I was mean to her or something.

00:37:21.160 It was extremely disappointing.

00:37:22.040 Yeah.

00:37:22.640 And that's how you ended up with a graduate degree from Cambridge, which was a nine month

00:37:28.820 resort experience.

00:37:30.000 I don't know why I was resisting it so much.

00:37:32.500 It was great.

00:37:33.760 Why did you resist it?

00:37:35.240 So I guess you wanted to believe the world was fair or.

00:37:37.720 I really don't like, you'll, you'll notice I have a very high level of anxiety around bureaucratic

00:37:46.580 hurdles.

00:37:47.500 Like it took me nine months just to get us to the Peruvian consulate in New Jersey to

00:37:52.200 grant power of attorney to a lawyer so that we can finish business transactions in the country.

00:37:58.160 Because I, I hate it so much and universities are that getting a degree is that you have

00:38:04.840 to take the tests.

00:38:05.620 You have to apply, you have to get in, you have to go through the grinding machine.

00:38:09.980 And at the time we didn't know that it was going to be Cambridge per se.

00:38:13.320 I also didn't know what Cambridge or Oxford or even St. Andrews was like really.

00:38:19.020 Right.

00:38:19.260 I, I didn't, I hadn't experienced it.

00:38:22.000 I didn't realize it was like Hogwarts.

00:38:23.400 So I, now I see it all very differently.

00:38:27.320 It's all very different.

00:38:28.400 I was sending you to the glue factory from your perspective.

00:38:32.100 Yeah.

00:38:32.840 Yes.

00:38:33.440 But anyway, to continue here.

00:38:35.460 But I should note here that it's not just the high status successful guys who have this

00:38:40.080 perception of reality.

00:38:41.580 If you look at Verga et al 1979 and then the related 1976 Kentucky prison experiment, what

00:38:49.720 you see is that Grapus have significantly lower IQs than non-Grapus prisoners could also

00:38:55.640 convicted for violent crime.

00:38:56.660 Well, they were the ones who got caught.

00:38:59.760 Or the ones where the women objected afterwards. 0.95

00:39:02.620 That's the other thing you need to remember about this.

00:39:04.600 What's that mean?

00:39:05.100 Well, and convicted.

00:39:05.620 Yeah.

00:39:05.760 Actually, that's the thing is, is I believe there's also research that shows that in trials,

00:39:10.840 when the victim is ugly, that's less likely to lead to a conviction.

00:39:15.060 And also, when the aggressor is hot, it's less likely to lead to a conviction.

00:39:20.200 I think that's pretty well attested in the research.

00:39:22.640 Yeah.

00:39:23.220 Goya et al 2005, which showed the same thing.

00:39:26.640 And then Cantor et al 2005, a meta-analysis.

00:39:30.640 Ugly people can commit crimes, but pretty people can't. 1.00

00:39:34.340 In jail, if you are a sexual offender, you're going to be much lower IQ than non-sexual offenders. 0.63

00:39:39.480 And what's interesting is that this is even bigger if you were a sexual offender against

00:39:43.100 minors.

00:39:43.520 Um, they are like people who are, are just slow-witted people, like be very afraid of

00:39:48.960 having your kids around slow-witted people.

00:39:51.020 That's, that's the risk.

00:39:52.940 Good point.

00:39:54.280 Have AI raise your children.

00:39:58.100 And then another interesting one here is that Liseka and Miller 2002, this came from a

00:40:05.180 giant list here, 1,882 men.

00:40:07.880 They found that 6.4% reported something that legally met the definition of grape or attempted

00:40:15.000 grape.

00:40:15.480 None were prosecuted.

00:40:16.980 63% were serial grapists, about 5.8 grapes each.

00:40:21.320 And they accounted for 439 grapes, 786 other violent acts, battery, child abuse, et cetera.

00:40:29.300 These men resembled incarcerated grapists in repeat slash multiple offending and antisocial 1.00

00:40:34.040 traits.

00:40:34.940 Anger at women, dominance in need, hyper-masculinity, low empathy.

00:40:38.080 But their offenses were typically against acquaintances, highly planned, and involved deliberate intoxication

00:40:44.360 of victims, minimal visible injury, and little weapons use.

00:40:48.240 The authors noted that these undetected grapists were more in control and higher functioning 0.77

00:40:52.680 than the stereotypical low SES prison grapists.

00:40:55.640 So what you're seeing here is it could just be that these men are not caught and that

00:40:59.880 women do not mind as much afterwards, which I know that these scientists can't say in 0.99

00:41:05.360 the data, but obviously that's a part of it if they didn't call the cops on these guys,

00:41:09.420 but they did call it on the other guys.

00:41:11.100 It's that classic meme, you know, of the ugly guy at the office saying, hi, they're like, 0.92

00:41:14.820 this is sexual harassment. 0.78

00:41:16.560 And then the handsome guy saying hi.

00:41:18.780 Now, this study I found very interesting and I was unaware.

00:41:20.720 While women like dominant men, they prefer prestige. 0.99

00:41:25.420 Being respected for a skill, knowledge, or charisma achievement beats dominance using

00:41:30.740 force, threats, or intimidation.

00:41:32.560 Snyder, Kirkpatrick, and Barrett, 2008, quote, the dominance dilemma, do women really prefer 1.00

00:41:38.600 dominant mates, end quote.

00:41:40.620 Three experiments, college women, women strongly preferred high prestige men, peer recognized

00:41:46.220 abilities over high dominance men, coercive tactics.

00:41:49.480 They actually preferred low dominance descriptions in most cases.

00:41:53.320 Dominance was only attractive when women were shown it in a narrowed context, athletic 1.00

00:41:57.860 competition, and only for short-term mates.

00:42:01.040 The long-term prestige won decisively.

00:42:03.640 So this is, again, this sort of dominant persona that you think that you need.

00:42:07.940 You can be dark triad without needing to stay in dominant frame constantly.

00:42:13.740 And hosts and host clubs do this.

00:42:16.520 Oh, yeah.

00:42:17.280 Yeah.

00:42:17.460 Yeah, it is not about dominance.

00:42:19.960 It is about, well, really self-assuredness and ruthless pragmatism.

00:42:25.220 Yeah, I mean, I guess, how do you define dominance?

00:42:27.020 Yeah, because I would say they express dominance.

00:42:30.240 You know, they're fighting for attention in their dark triad.

00:42:33.360 And the way scientists understand it and the way that Red Pill understands it, you should 0.92

00:42:37.420 translate that in your head as ruthless pragmatism and not as acting like a prick.

00:42:43.580 Yeah, that's the problem is so much of the Red Pill content that, and keep in mind, I was

00:42:49.660 most in like all the Red Pill online content between, we'll say 2013 and 2017.

00:43:01.680 So like a long time ago.

00:43:03.640 Oh my God, that's like 10 years ago.

00:43:06.560 So it's been a while, but it just came across as irritable.

00:43:10.000 Not confident, not hot.

00:43:12.160 Just like irritable.

00:43:13.860 Irritable and resentful.

00:43:15.280 And you were into that stuff when you were dating me and you didn't think anything was

00:43:19.420 wrong with it.

00:43:19.880 You wouldn't, would you?

00:43:20.560 You weren't irritable or mad or angry or resentful.

00:43:23.360 You didn't think of my tactics as Red Pill-ish at all.

00:43:26.100 You were confident.

00:43:27.040 You were, you were a little, you came across as a little sociopathic, but I desperately wanted 0.98

00:43:31.280 a sociopath. 0.98

00:43:32.680 So. 0.99

00:43:33.560 That's what you're into.

00:43:35.160 Sociopathic man.

00:43:36.200 Yeah. 0.98

00:43:36.740 I could be the murder.

00:43:37.860 I could be the prison guy getting all the letters.

00:43:40.860 That's how people in our community always complain like on the subreddit and stuff like

00:43:45.220 that.

00:43:45.340 Oh, the serial killers get all the letters.

00:43:47.260 Yeah, I mean, but again, that, that's the thing is like serial killers aren't necessarily

00:43:53.600 hot.

00:43:54.260 They don't necessarily look like chads and they don't, you know, and neither do host club

00:43:58.540 members.

00:43:59.080 Yeah, but they, they're like, they thoughtfully, I think something that's really attractive to

00:44:05.120 women and just, I think it's, it should be very easy for men to relate to this.

00:44:09.540 When you look at the most popular erotic material online for men, the most common, super, like

00:44:16.700 it's just women who are just so fricking excited to, to pounce on you and that there's nothing 1.00

00:44:23.300 better than you doing whatever it is you're going to do to them. 0.65

00:44:26.020 They're just so excited, like a dog, like, oh my God, you know, like they can't wait.

00:44:30.460 Right.

00:44:31.120 The, the male version of that is like intense need and interest in the woman.

00:44:37.760 Like I will stalk her like prey, like predatory manner.

00:44:41.240 Well, yeah, but like, that's, I think that's kind of the dynamic.

00:44:44.400 Look at, look at how ducks do it, you know?

00:44:45.880 But like, I, I feel like that's, that is the female version of it is this intense male 0.97

00:44:49.840 hunger for an interest in, like, I will, I want to know all about her.

00:44:54.720 Right.

00:44:54.900 There's this whole thing in twilight of like, oh, Edward Cullen can read everyone's minds,

00:44:59.620 but he can't read your mind, Bella.

00:45:02.300 And like, that just drives him nuts.

00:45:04.860 And he has to know about you by actually talking to you while you sleep.

00:45:09.860 Yeah.

00:45:10.080 He stares at you in your sleep.

00:45:12.200 Like any serial killer behavior, that's creepy.

00:45:15.560 That's serial killer.

00:45:17.100 Exactly.

00:45:18.120 Because there's intense interest and that interest on its own is hot because the desire is hot.

00:45:23.460 So this, this, this Labrador style, like, is, is not, it's not, it's, it's the same thing,

00:45:34.340 but it manifests very differently.

00:45:35.640 Does that make sense?

00:45:36.900 You know?

00:45:37.480 Yeah.

00:45:38.080 Okay.

00:45:38.940 Okay.

00:45:39.220 So next study, Chang et al, 2010, 2013 prestige gets deference plus liking dominant gets fear

00:45:45.800 based compliance, but lower likability prestige oriented men are seen as higher value long-term

00:45:50.720 partners.

00:45:51.060 So again, if you want to be a long-term partner, it's easy to make mistakes.

00:45:55.520 If you all learn what works from short-term sexual marketplaces, because then you think

00:46:01.260 that things that work during short-term sexual marketplaces are going to work in all marketplaces.

00:46:04.780 And yet you make fun of women for making that exact mistake about their own bodies.

00:46:08.840 You know, learn, don't make that mistake about the tactics that you're learning either.

00:46:12.700 Now there's an article here. 0.84

00:46:15.020 Feminists think sexist men are sexier than woke men.

00:46:17.520 Goel and Coffrey take a related tack, but head in a slightly different direction.

00:46:21.900 They suggest that female interests in sexist men, specifically men who display quote unquote

00:46:25.340 benevolent sexism may be seen by women as being more an interest in men investing resources 0.95

00:46:32.500 in a woman.

00:46:33.400 Benevolent sexism describes a form of sexism, which is overtly less hostile and misogynistic

00:46:38.120 and reflects beliefs that I was taught as a man from the U S South.

00:46:42.120 Benevolent sexism includes beliefs that women should be quote unquote, put on a pedestal. 0.97

00:46:47.420 Women should be cherished and protected by men.

00:46:49.380 Women should be willing to, men should be willing to sacrifice and provide for women.

00:46:53.340 And women are more virtuous than men.

00:46:55.400 And women are refined and pure compared to men. 1.00

00:46:58.540 Why would a woman not love that? 0.78

00:47:00.440 That is like, you're going to financially take care of me, protect me, open doors for me

00:47:06.940 and not hold me responsible for my own actions.

00:47:10.140 This is great.

00:47:11.420 Like, why wouldn't someone sign up for that regardless of their, their sex?

00:47:17.940 Yeah.

00:47:18.580 I, I'm not going to go too much further because we've got so much other data I collected here

00:47:23.060 and maybe I'll put together another episode on it, but it's an interesting, I thought this

00:47:26.420 episode was funny because we're going over the recontextualization of our early dating.

00:47:30.700 And I was like, this morning, I wasn't dark triad when we started dating.

00:47:34.960 That's how I got obsessively enamored with me.

00:47:38.260 And you're like, there was the thing with the details, concrete facts.

00:47:47.900 I didn't mean it.

00:47:48.880 I wasn't trying to be, I thought I was just being practical.

00:47:52.680 I just, and I think that this is also how I come off as like the world more broadly.

00:47:57.420 They hear me say things like, well, you know, your low fertility populations are going to 0.97

00:48:01.980 go extinct and we'll replace them. 1.00

00:48:03.500 And I've tried to help them.

00:48:04.720 I tried to tell them this, but if that's the way it is, then so be it.

00:48:08.560 We'll replace you. 0.87

00:48:09.600 And people are like, that's psychotic.

00:48:11.640 Well, if populations don't engage with genetic alteration and the populations that do will

00:48:16.440 simply outcompete them in a global and economic context.

00:48:19.540 And eventually they will be at the whim of the augmented populations and augmented population, 0.94

00:48:26.560 at least deciding that they have a duty or a moral duty to protect the non-augmented 0.98

00:48:30.640 population.

00:48:32.000 And, and I say that and people are like, that's, it's the same way.

00:48:34.760 Like that's psychotic, I guess.

00:48:36.380 And it's like, no, I'm just freaking explaining how it works.

00:48:40.600 Like reality.

00:48:41.940 I know.

00:48:42.760 I know.

00:48:44.740 It's frustrating, but I think, I mean, practical takeaways for male, male listeners.

00:48:51.780 What, what, what would you advise them?

00:48:54.760 I mean, I don't, what, what is a guy supposed to take away from this?

00:48:57.940 If you want to have.

00:48:59.040 You can't fake it easily.

00:49:00.740 I, I, okay.

00:49:01.800 Here's a few takeaways I would have.

00:49:03.380 One is, is that more important than being a gym bro or whatever, right.

00:49:09.100 Is being ruthlessly pragmatic and being ruthlessly pragmatic is what's really meant by dark triadism.

00:49:15.320 Be ruthlessly pragmatic, but show interest in the woman and show interest in her from 0.99

00:49:21.900 her own perspective.

00:49:23.680 What does she want from her life? 1.00

00:49:26.140 And if you're going to challenge her or push back against her, don't push back.

00:49:30.760 This is what I want from you.

00:49:32.700 Push back the way. 0.81

00:49:34.320 Yeah.

00:49:34.660 Oh, so that's what you value.

00:49:36.200 How are you going to get that?

00:49:37.480 Yeah.

00:49:37.940 So like when I pushed back against Simone or when I was condescending to her early in

00:49:42.180 our relationship, it was not, I want you to do what I want, or I want you to do what

00:49:48.180 society expects of you, or I want you to follow these deontological rules.

00:49:51.720 It was, you told me you value this.

00:49:54.900 Yeah.

00:49:55.460 Okay.

00:49:56.040 This path or action that you're taking won't lead to this.

00:49:59.420 Let's look for evidence confirming or disconfirming.

00:50:02.460 Right.

00:50:02.760 Yeah.

00:50:03.100 Yeah.

00:50:04.160 Well, I mean.

00:50:05.060 You wouldn't necessarily be that diplomatic with your wording all the time, but.

00:50:11.900 No, I was not that diplomatic.

00:50:13.780 I'm Malcolm.

00:50:14.840 People know me.

00:50:15.620 Come on.

00:50:16.280 We know you and love you, Malcolm.

00:50:18.140 I would say that.

00:50:19.200 I would say just also be assertive and be prolific.

00:50:21.940 I think a lot of this data is just kind of confounded.

00:50:24.200 And it's like, oh, you know, men who have a lot of sexual partners have short-term relationships.

00:50:30.180 So, well, duh, like, if you want to cover a lot of ground, you know, like, if you want

00:50:35.340 to get to, like, 100 countries, you know, in your lifetime, you can't, like, spend, you

00:50:40.160 know, five years in each country.

00:50:41.580 And highly experienced men know better when a woman actually wants them to stop than my 1.00

00:50:47.400 spreadsheet.

00:50:49.040 And also, like, exposure to anything is going to make you a little bit more dulled to it.

00:50:54.680 You know, you're not going to be as, oh, my God, like, every time something happens.

00:50:57.860 Oh, here's a fun one.

00:50:59.000 Also, early in our relationship, a lot of these studies are like, these men get women intoxicated

00:51:04.940 before they put them in compromising positions.

00:51:07.520 On our first date, you didn't drink back then.

00:51:10.780 And I was like, I won't date you if you don't drink.

00:51:12.860 And I got you a drink.

00:51:13.620 And I was like, drink it.

00:51:14.540 You know, like, that would have been seen as, I think, going over a line in a lot of,

00:51:19.080 like, progressive urban world.

00:51:20.100 Wasn't really intoxicated, though.

00:51:21.500 It was one cocktail.

00:51:23.200 And even though I didn't drink before, now I try to get drunk by only drinking, like,

00:51:30.100 because I'm not pregnant now.

00:51:31.420 So she, when she does nights where she gets drunk, she takes a cup this big.

00:51:35.300 She fills it all the way with vodka.

00:51:37.680 No, just 150 milliliters.

00:51:40.860 This big.

00:51:41.980 With vodka.

00:51:42.880 No, just 150 milliliters.

00:51:44.720 And that's enough to get me happy while I then systematically clean the entire house.

00:51:50.580 Is it just one?

00:51:52.200 It's just one.

00:51:52.920 It's 150 milliliters.

00:51:54.380 So what is that divided by 20?

00:51:55.900 How many ounces is that?

00:51:57.080 I thought it was two.

00:51:57.620 I know it looks like an insane amount.

00:51:59.520 If I drink, me, like, heavyweight Malcolm, who drinks constantly, if I drink what you did,

00:52:05.900 I would, like, pass out.

00:52:08.060 Yeah.

00:52:09.140 That's 5.3 ounces.

00:52:12.940 So, like, a tall latte, you could say, from start.

00:52:17.700 A tall latte?

00:52:19.260 It's my tall latte.

00:52:20.400 But, like, when you are, like, Nordic and Russian and Irish and German, like, that is...

00:52:28.940 So I don't think I was actually intoxicated when we had our first date.

00:52:33.460 I don't think you intoxicated me.

00:52:34.700 Oh, oh, I have an exact...

00:52:36.280 What is 5.3 ounces?

00:52:38.260 A Chobane yogurt cup.

00:52:41.680 It's not a drink.

00:52:44.680 When I look up 5.3 ounces, all of them are Chobanes.

00:52:47.760 I don't know why.

00:52:48.660 Well, God bless.

00:52:49.680 I love Chobane.

00:52:50.620 That's...

00:52:50.940 That is my...

00:52:51.560 That's my brand.

00:52:53.460 I go through, basically...

00:52:55.260 But that's not my Chobane-sized.

00:52:57.040 I'm party-sized for everything.

00:52:58.960 I go through one of the large Chobane yogurt every day.

00:53:03.920 That's why you have to haul them in.

00:53:05.480 Oh, my God.

00:53:06.120 Okay.

00:53:06.340 So I'm looking at...

00:53:06.860 Okay, so paper cups.

00:53:08.300 It's larger than a small paper cup.

00:53:10.780 Okay.

00:53:11.280 Well, yeah.

00:53:12.940 It's a lot.

00:53:13.740 Because, like, one shot, Malcolm, like, you know, like a shot of...

00:53:17.760 Whiskey or vodka or whatever, I think it's typically one ounce, right?

00:53:21.380 So it's more than five shots.

00:53:23.940 That and my wife on a regular night with the family.

00:53:26.980 But no, this is just to say that you didn't intoxicate me to the point of me being like,

00:53:30.820 oh, like, I've lost control.

00:53:33.480 There's only that one night where I blacked out in Chicago after those investors made this

00:53:37.680 play out for nothing.

00:53:38.800 And I bought a large box of wine and consumed it all.

00:53:43.320 And then I can't remember what happened after that.

00:53:46.340 I love working with you.

00:53:47.240 That is just so fun that your compromise work trip stories are with your husband.

00:53:54.020 Isn't that wonderful?

00:53:55.960 At our most challenging times in our lives.

00:53:59.200 Yeah, that was raising money.

00:54:02.080 It's like...

00:54:02.420 Hey, now we got to get customers.

00:54:04.020 Yeah.

00:54:05.020 Well, we're also working seven days a week.

00:54:09.980 Not like...

00:54:10.500 You know, we've had people, like, offer in the area who follow the podcast.

00:54:13.680 Like, hey, do you want to join this Boy Scout hike that's happening?

00:54:17.180 And like, it all just sounds so wonderful.

00:54:18.940 But I'm also like, who is time to leave their house for two hours to do a thing?

00:54:24.020 Like, how is this possible?

00:54:26.920 Because we're still working so hard.

00:54:28.780 You're like up at 2 a.m.

00:54:30.320 Speaking of which, I need to get the kids.

00:54:32.140 I will put them to bed tonight again.

00:54:33.620 So you can go to bed super early.

00:54:35.320 I will make your pumpkin curried soup.

00:54:36.960 You want me to use, like, Thai red curry if we have it, right?

00:54:38.940 I think I have a giant thing of curry paste in the fridge.

00:54:40.600 Yeah, Thai red curry would go really well with it.

00:54:42.860 Heavy cream, pumpkin puree, Thai red curry.

00:54:45.600 Maybe a little gochujang. 1.00

00:54:47.840 Gochujang. 0.96

00:54:48.440 Well, do you want me to make it gochujang or do you want me to lean into Thai red curry?

00:54:52.780 I would do, like, a scoop of gochujang and a little Thai red curry.

00:54:56.140 You think they go well together?

00:54:57.560 Oh, yeah.

00:54:58.540 All right.

00:54:58.900 And then I saute as a base.

00:55:01.600 I'm thinking sauteing some garlic and ginger and butter before putting in the rest of it

00:55:05.460 and then putting some chopped green onion on top as a topping.

00:55:09.020 That works for me.

00:55:10.120 Yeah.

00:55:10.660 Okay.

00:55:12.120 All right.

00:55:12.660 Anyway, I love you.

00:55:14.540 You are not evil.

00:55:17.020 I'm a little evil.

00:55:18.600 No.

00:55:19.200 No.

00:55:20.380 No.

00:55:20.960 I just, I have to get the kids now.

00:55:24.040 But I just feel like, I want to point out, this is, no, it's not about being dark triad.

00:55:29.520 And it looks bad, but it's not.

00:55:31.860 It's not.

00:55:34.540 It, be prolific and find someone whose values are aligned with yours, who you, this is a business

00:55:42.020 arrangement.

00:55:43.200 Marriage, Malcolm did not marry the hot one.

00:55:45.840 He did not even marry the rich one.

00:55:47.220 He married the one with whom, who he worked well with, who had values aligned with his.

00:55:53.040 The hardest working one.

00:55:55.020 Whose values were aligned with his.

00:55:57.580 And that is what you want to find.

00:55:59.360 You want to find someone you work really well together.

00:56:01.780 You're, you're good friends.

00:56:02.800 I think that does help a lot that you like each other because you're going to have to

00:56:06.080 like your kids and your kids are going to be half that other person and they're really

00:56:09.360 going to show up in your kids.

00:56:10.940 Yeah.

00:56:11.060 You need to, you need to like them, but this is a business arrangement.

00:56:14.520 First and foremost, it has for the vast, vast, vast majority of humanity.

00:56:18.620 And that that's it.

00:56:19.560 But like, don't, don't be a dark triad. 0.95

00:56:24.140 Okay.

00:56:24.420 I love you.

00:56:25.000 I love you.

00:56:25.280 Bye.

00:56:25.480 Bye.

00:56:26.620 God.

00:56:29.100 I'm just going to get him to the normal lines.

00:56:38.780 Well, at least big brother Octavian is worried about him.

00:56:42.040 Oh, he cares.

00:56:42.780 He's, he's uncomfortable.

00:56:43.760 He's, like, just dealt with the multiple bloody, I feel really bad for him.

00:56:56.760 Anyway, just hold on here.

00:56:58.520 We're going to get him comfy and I'm feeling okay.

00:57:03.060 I think your ear to work because your hand breaks.

00:57:05.120 You don't need to change.

00:57:07.240 Hey.

00:57:07.900 Hey.

00:57:08.440 Hey.

00:57:09.620 Hey.

00:57:10.960 All right.

00:57:11.480 You want me to get going here?

00:57:12.200 Um, well, maybe, you know, he's, okay, I guess that's what it, okay, one moment, one moment.

00:57:22.640 Let's keep this warm.

00:57:28.200 Little do you know that I'm, shh, never mind.

00:57:31.960 I'm not going to say it because you're recording now.

00:57:33.780 Okay.

00:57:34.280 Okay.

00:57:34.960 Go ahead.

00:57:37.340 You're, you're sure you're ready?

00:57:39.180 I think so.

00:57:39.920 Okay, okay, okay.

00:57:49.220 Let's see.

00:57:55.920 Just to, to get Play-Doh.

00:57:59.140 Hello, Tika.

00:57:59.880 How are you?

00:58:00.360 Yes.

00:58:02.120 Mommy, can I eat a cheese?

00:58:04.360 I'm not worried.

00:58:05.920 Mommy, can I eat a cheese?

00:58:09.200 He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's playing on me.

00:58:31.580 Hi Daddy, I'm just going to do so in about five minutes.

00:58:36.580 I'm just going to search for my kids now and I will run up.

Based Camp - February 19, 2026

Feminists Prefer to Date Misogynists： The Science

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