Based Camp - Happy Relationships ＂Too Republican＂ To Be Cool？ Riiiiight…

00:00:00.000 hello simone i'm excited to be here with you today today we are going to be discussing

00:00:04.080 if having a boyfriend has become embarrassing or uncool specifically for urban monoculture i really

00:00:12.740 cannot describe this anything other than like upper middle class white women um have begun to

00:00:19.140 categorize having a boyfriend or being in a relationship as a social taboo there was a paper

00:00:26.440 written on this than in vogue which we'll go over which by the way team vogue hired all of their

00:00:32.660 black employees so that was fun when they were trying to do like woke cleanup they accidentally

00:00:37.180 no i i think it's more i think they were getting rid of unprofitable teen vogue by tucking it into

00:00:44.720 vogue vogue and they got rid of the the politics team which was just because obviously gay and

00:00:51.040 not was it also all the trends not no again sorry not gay trans yeah gay is like conservative

00:00:56.900 lgbt trans is progressive gay is how conservative coded these days but anyway so to continue here

00:01:04.060 so they did an article on this and we're going to go through both their article and the article that

00:01:08.920 they reference which i think is almost more interesting than their article itself and then

00:01:12.680 we're going to dig go through some reply articles to this and reddit threads that were discussing this

00:01:17.060 to sort of see how the general feminist community feels about this okay but it does appear to be a

00:01:23.140 real shift that's happening online which is really cool oh interesting because cartoons hate her was

00:01:28.280 kind of like is this really real this is actually just journalists making something up but no i i think

00:01:34.120 it's well when i look at the reddit discussion of this i think it's real and it also makes sense when

00:01:39.120 you think about the wider cultural context that we're in okay interesting let's dive in so if someone so

00:01:46.220 much as says my boy and and they cut it off there so they can't even say my boyfriend on social media

00:01:52.080 they're muted there's nothing i hate more than following someone for fun only for their content

00:01:57.900 to become quote-unquote my boyfriend-ified suddenly this is probably because for so long it felt like we

00:02:04.460 were living in what one of my favorite subject actors calls boyfriend land a world where women's

00:02:10.340 online identities center around the lives of their partners a situation rarely seen reversed

00:02:16.040 women were rewarded for their ability to find and keep a man with elevated social status and praise

00:02:21.780 it became even more suffocating when this could be leveraged on social media for engagement and if you

00:02:27.820 were serious enough financial gain so oh yeah right there was the whole stay-at-home girlfriend

00:02:33.280 trend of women just making their identities about the fact that they had a boyfriend

00:02:39.420 i want to go into the article about that phenomenon which preceded this phenomenon okay okay because she

00:02:46.420 references another blog post here where they are talking about that phenomenon okay now i'm going to

00:02:50.680 note here what you will persist actually i'll get to it when we when we get to the point of the article

00:02:55.580 here but i i also love like the horrible that this woman is triggered by the fact that other women

00:03:04.340 have partners right like that this is a a threatening thing to her to the extent that it appears to be

00:03:13.660 emotionally damaged like it appears to cause some form of emotional distress when she sees this

00:03:19.200 i might ask her to meditate on why that may be is it that maybe you want a boyfriend and just aren't

00:03:26.280 putting in the effort or aren't making the you know bridging the ideological gap enough to actually find

00:03:32.740 one so right but no uh uh there is there is no no interest in in bridging that gap so let's go to

00:03:40.760 this other article okay a few months ago at a literary event i introduced myself to a writer whose book i

00:03:49.160 love she then did the oddest thing she turned around and introduced her boyfriend and began to speak

00:03:54.600 about his accomplishments at length despite her book being a book talk darling good on her because as

00:04:02.520 we've discussed it's pretty unusual for a woman in public to praise her male partner very rare in in

00:04:08.760 real world yeah that on its that's on its own is notable so wow okay but but we're now seeing

00:04:14.300 partially why despite being beloved by her community despite being showered and praised by writers and

00:04:20.320 fans alike her first instinct was to talk about her partner for five minutes straight oh i thought i see

00:04:26.920 now i'm noting a number of things here one is simone do i often praise you in public when we're

00:04:33.380 talking to people to the extent that i i feel uncomfortable because i'm like no we should be

00:04:37.520 talking about you this is a normal thing that people do with your partner and you're proud of

00:04:43.520 them like eric barwin talking about his his wife on the red carpet but then she shouldn't be

00:04:48.800 i don't think you make it more silly than it is i actually feel i feel no no we just we just cut

00:04:55.600 all that part out cut me out cut you out when you're trying to make it silly she shouldn't be

00:04:58.760 proud of her that's a lot of kids together that is like the one important point is that they have

00:05:03.640 a big family yeah they're like good on them but yeah i mean i think it's really important that you

00:05:09.180 are highlighting here that this woman praised her boyfriend and here she is being criticized online i

00:05:14.700 mean it's people you know we have normalized obviously the as we covered in another episode

00:05:19.440 eye-rolling wife the sarcastic wife as sort of this endemic and problematic issue but it's not just

00:05:24.720 the fact that the belittling your husband slash boyfriend trope is so pervasive and sometimes lauded

00:05:30.900 it's that women on the other hand are punished when they praise and are supportive of their boyfriends

00:05:37.680 and husbands yes and we're seeing that right here she is punishing and the woman above is punishing women

00:05:42.680 for being supportive of their partners yeah which of course creates toxic relationships right yeah

00:05:48.320 relationship with these people but i love that at first she's like i i can't be a fan of this person

00:05:53.320 anymore i can't be around this person anymore because they are nice to their boyfriend all right

00:05:58.140 god forbid you're in a functional relationship she goes on tiktok this interaction is the norm

00:06:04.740 in december i started that i stated that over half of the trends that go viral end up being co-opted

00:06:11.960 by people showing off their male partners i made it a point to point out how few trends are men

00:06:19.700 showing off their girlfriends or wives 99 of the time it's women showing off their boyfriends or

00:06:25.360 husbands i was keeping a 2024 tally and i eventually just gave up sometime in march at this point the app

00:06:32.600 was practically the patriarchy itself and here i point out okay lady because i've gotten sort of a feel

00:06:40.540 of your personality from from this stuff what percent of the accounts that you follow are male

00:06:47.280 but if you're gonna guess what percent of the the accounts that this lady follows are male i'm gonna guess

00:06:52.840 three percent if i'm gonna be generous maybe ten percent so is there maybe a reason you never see guys

00:07:01.900 sharing their girlfriends on these accounts it's because you're simply not following many male

00:07:06.800 accounts actually to be fair i i can't think of a single account where guys are extolling their

00:07:16.920 girlfriends really can you i mean i try to do it i think that yeah well no but no you you do it

00:07:24.500 we're we're we are unusual i think that so fundy fridays they are a loving couple that promotes each

00:07:31.640 other say what you will about them but they are very sweet to each other no hold on so if the reason

00:07:37.720 why i don't have a lot of examples of this off the top of my head is because i don't watch any type

00:07:41.940 of social media that would have this anymore there's the mormon influencers who podcast together

00:07:47.080 there's your ex-mormon influencers there's fundy fridays there's ballerina farms then there's all the

00:07:51.860 christian couples there's compass rose there's clownfish tv oh yeah so there are a number but

00:07:58.500 but we don't hang out on platforms where somebody might be doing this because we're not really on

00:08:02.840 twitter we're not on facebook yeah we're not on tiktok and on youtube it's just not a platform that

00:08:09.020 is you know germane for doing this sort of promotion but i would guess the reason is is because she just

00:08:13.900 doesn't follow a lot of men and so that's why to her it feels like women are always doing this and i'd

00:08:18.600 also point out here that i bet that this is the type of person who when she does follow a man is

00:08:22.800 to goon over them so she specifically is likely following men who are more likely to be single

00:08:27.600 and who are more likely to hide that they're in a relationship if they are in a relationship

00:08:31.400 because their fan base is some sort of parasocial relationship with them for gooning purposes

00:08:36.960 that's on tyker like i mean i figured that's like his core audience is just women looking to goon

00:08:42.600 because i can't he's not like he doesn't actually have ideas if you watch his show for a while which

00:08:49.660 means that and he cares a lot about appearance having a big fluffy dog in the background looking

00:08:55.780 buff all the time does he look buff oh yeah just google a picture of him i guess you've got a hand

00:09:02.840 he wears clothes yeah i i would but in my video i asked why men always men only men get to behave

00:09:12.920 atrociously and have millions of people rush to defend them hold on a second watch our video on

00:09:20.060 snarky women just to see that women do this constantly in our society yeah men are thrown

00:09:25.260 under the bus and everyone just watches just watches the wheels turn over them yeah no and like

00:09:30.380 nobody even cares like it's not even a scandal like women like actually physically abuse their

00:09:35.180 their husbands and boyfriends in public famous women and just like like whatever macron emmanuel

00:09:40.420 macron's wife pushing him in the face as they exited an airplane and nobody cares

00:09:46.840 nobody does anything it's not a big scandal and it is because this woman lives in delusion world but i

00:09:58.280 think that this helps get us in the mindset of this is the way that urban monoculture women feel

00:10:02.920 so we can understand how and why they begin to punish women for this behavior

00:10:06.640 in a video that went viral recently a woman begs her father not to flip her over on her wedding day

00:10:13.120 he does of course and she smiles lovingly in a chagrin manner thank you gillian flynn these comments

00:10:20.280 were surprising women were giddy about the crossing of the boundary all laughs and heart eye emojis

00:10:26.680 the way he tippy-tapped was one of the comments that she was quoting there the most insidious and

00:10:34.820 i keep in mind i'm jumping around this article because i don't want you guys to get all the

00:10:38.620 boring stuff here the most insidious type of post is the one where there's no boyfriend but instead

00:10:44.040 the poster is showing off their hot brother or dad this is odd on two levels firstly the awareness of

00:10:51.140 the family members being attractive second first of all like you're aware when your family members

00:10:56.460 are attractive right like what what secondly the recording and posting of the video in order to

00:11:02.600 receive likes and comments about how hot your family member is the worst part is it's not even implicit

00:11:08.480 many of these posts have the original liking comments exoling in their proximity to an attractive

00:11:14.100 man the tiktok brain rot is so powerful that if you have a boyfriend simply standing near that man

00:11:20.760 is enough i find it hard to overstate how much people love men on the app and it's like well

00:11:27.440 what maybe because they're women and they think the hot men are hot right this reminds me of on like

00:11:33.180 reddit where they post you know a hot woman will post themselves doing something and they'll just hit

00:11:37.500 the top of course she has no problem with this right you know they're in frame even though there's

00:11:42.160 no reason look at the art i just made you know but what i find fun here is this idea that there's

00:11:49.480 this counter world and it's a world that obviously i've never engaged with because i don't find tiktok

00:11:54.000 at all enjoyable i don't really find twitter enjoyable either i don't find facebook fun anymore

00:11:59.300 and so there's this other world and i assume because when i was on facebook i never saw any posts like

00:12:04.860 this so i assume that this must be the type of people that this woman already follows who are doing

00:12:12.960 this and i think that what we were likely seeing here is was in the urban monoculture sort of an

00:12:19.960 understanding because i assume that these these people who she's calling are urban monoculture

00:12:23.680 people for a while it was very high status to get a boyfriend because so few people had one right

00:12:28.760 yeah but then and and so everyone was sort of showing them off for a period until it finally reached

00:12:36.180 a level where women sort of collectively the ones who were getting shown off to decided okay

00:12:44.260 we need to shame this behavior yeah the the take that i'm getting from some people on this this subject

00:12:52.880 like from cartoons hate her is that this is this comes from a place of deep insecurity i know because i

00:12:59.320 before you know ever meeting you and before ever deciding i was going to date or anything you know

00:13:05.500 i was very boyfriendless and i had absolutely zero issue with people being excited about their

00:13:11.840 boyfriends i just didn't care and if i didn't care about the content like i would just move on to

00:13:16.840 something else keep scrolling you know like this is not hard to avoid yeah okay so to continue here

00:13:23.800 and this is still the piece from the before time when this was common i say all of this to hold up

00:13:30.520 a mirror to society i understand that there are more women on social media than men and that for a

00:13:35.760 certain segment of society having a boyfriend or a husband is quite literally the most important

00:13:40.240 thing you can do but the millions millions of posts make me question what exactly is happening

00:13:46.360 tiktok content is mimetic when something performs well people jump on the bandwagon and trends are born

00:13:53.280 now keep in mind this is performing well within your feed which is based on what you are interacting

00:13:59.320 with my bet is you're likely leaving lots of hate comments on these and tiktok is saying oh engagement

00:14:05.160 exactly no that's the thing is is if you interact with something even if it's out of anger you're

00:14:10.700 telling the algorithm to give you more of it so she's probably seeing way more of this than anyone

00:14:16.640 who just doesn't care would see and yeah that's right i guess you wouldn't get memes like this if you

00:14:21.820 didn't get algorithmic reinforcement which we have so much more of now but then she goes and i love

00:14:27.240 this as well you want to you want to see how urban monoculture she is she goes but as someone was two

00:14:32.060 degrees in sociology i shudder a bit when i see the types of content that breaks through it's another

00:14:39.400 to watch every trend boil down to look at this man look at me standing near this man look at my man

00:14:46.820 my man my man my man i love it as a woman with two degrees in sociology i'm like anyone who has

00:14:55.440 ever said that statement get them as far away from me as possible she's she's told us that all we all

00:15:01.580 we need to know that now we know what we need to know now that is she's the judge of society and this

00:15:06.420 was one of this other person's favorite blogs this vogue writer's favorite blogs okay so you can

00:15:11.660 now you get the mindset of this vogue writer as well right all right so let's go back to the vogue

00:15:15.820 piece however more recently there's been a pronounced shift in the way that people showcase relationships

00:15:21.480 online far from fully hard launching romantic partners straight women are opting for subtler signs

00:15:27.500 a hand on a steering wheel clinking glasses at dinner or the back of someone's head on the more

00:15:33.420 confusing end you will have faces blurred out of wedding pictures or in what professionally edited

00:15:39.560 videos was a fiance conveniently cropped out of all the shops women are obscuring their partner's face

00:15:45.960 when in the past as if they wanted to erase the fast that they existed without actually not posting them

00:15:52.040 is this like the new or is this some version of the i don't know how you there's this big thing

00:15:59.820 people being very political about not posting their kids faces like either covering them with emojis

00:16:05.680 or only showing the backs of their heads in photos online i find that so cringe i know it's it's

00:16:11.260 very annoying to us online but it's just is is hiding your boyfriend or husband or fiance like now that

00:16:18.060 equivalent what's going on you know i like is it also political because i feel like people's people

00:16:24.460 say they're covering up their kids faces and stuff to protect their privacy i think that that's

00:16:30.200 false i think it's partially political i think yeah i think i think it's more political than it is

00:16:35.500 actually like logistical and technical but i think people are afraid of what other people the way that

00:16:41.680 other people will perceive them if they post anything with their boyfriend 100 yeah but i think that's

00:16:46.540 it's the same about kids i think the reason why people cover up their kids faces is because they're

00:16:51.580 also afraid of that criticism so i think that the this is the new version of that that's really

00:16:57.240 like lowering your husband's face out of wedding photos or editing your husband out of out of the

00:17:01.540 wedding videos this becomes something quite different but we're recording right now okay

00:17:07.960 i think it's a way of signaling their politics to people a pretty extreme way great and i think that

00:17:15.880 it is because they saw and i suspect for a long time if i look at the tone of that first piece

00:17:21.500 knowing that it's a popular writer that maybe women within progressive communities within urban

00:17:26.640 monoculture communities that accidentally shared pictures of their boyfriends or husband would get

00:17:31.160 a lot of negative posts like why are you doing this why are you showing a man why are you and if

00:17:36.780 they've seen this happen even just one or two times you could pretty quickly you know one jump on the

00:17:43.660 bag wagon because yet another thing you can tear down other women about two a great way of mate

00:17:48.760 competition you know ensure that no other woman is dating to make it easier for yourself to date right

00:17:53.320 you know literally just shame women for being in a relationship yeah i mean a lot of people also

00:17:58.540 point out again and again that so many of these things are gatekeeping tactics that women use whether

00:18:04.860 it's encouraging other women to not care about their appearance or weight or discouraging other women

00:18:11.460 from being interested in men that enables women to experience less competition on dating markets

00:18:19.780 theoretically so yeah that could also definitely be so so yeah this is about political fronting

00:18:25.240 and this is about mate blocking essentially right so what gives are people embarrassed by their

00:18:32.480 boyfriends now or is something more complicated going on to me it feels like the result of women

00:18:37.600 wanting to straddle two worlds one where they can receive the social benefits of having a partner

00:18:42.240 but also not appear so boyfriend obsessed that they come across as quite culturally loser-ish

00:18:47.800 they want the prize in celebration of partnership but understand the norminess of it says zoe smoozie

00:18:56.020 writer and activist oh my god in other words in an era of widespread hetero fatalism women don't

00:19:03.940 want to be seen as being all about their man but they also want the clout that comes with being

00:19:09.320 partnered first of all i love the words that they're using here being partnered right like that's the the

00:19:15.900 fancy term for they were able to secure a male but if you're not familiar with the concept of

00:19:20.020 hetero fatalism it's an interesting concept within urban monocultural with female communities

00:19:24.040 where they're sort of fatalistic and sad about the fact that they happen to be born hetero right like

00:19:29.920 they see this as like a a punishment or a bad thing actually i would be interested to see and i could

00:19:35.940 totally see this happening is a community begin to form that's dedicated to arguing that actually

00:19:44.320 hetero women are more discriminated than gay or bi women because they have to date men oh i see

00:19:52.600 actually it's the gay and the bi women who are privileged and the hetero women who are disadvantaged

00:19:58.420 right right because they are forced through their their sexuality to interact with with an inherently

00:20:06.460 problematic class of man or human exactly right oh wow i could see it be done

00:20:12.500 i want to see that i want to see that happen give it time if we have progressive watchers you make

00:20:18.560 that a thing yeah toss that ball yeah yeah what's better than being a political lesbian being an

00:20:23.560 oppressed straight woman yes who's forced by her biology to want to engage with men amazing well

00:20:32.580 but it's not all about image when i did a call out on instagram plenty of women told me that they were

00:20:40.180 in fact superstitious some feared the quote-unquote evil eye a belief that their happy relationships

00:20:46.160 would spark jealousy so strong in other people that it could end their relationship others were

00:20:50.980 concerned about their relationships ending and then being stuck with the post i was in a relationship

00:20:57.060 for 12 years and never once posted him or talked about him online i broke up recently and i don't think

00:21:02.120 i will ever post a man says nikki 38 so she dated him from 28 to 38 basically her entire period where

00:21:08.880 she could have gotten married and then and had kids yeah wow um and i'd also i mean that's that's

00:21:18.380 really kind of weird and sociopathic to be honest and i also love that these women are afraid of other

00:21:24.660 women seeing them in a happy relationship because that's become coded and other people will note this

00:21:29.320 later as republican right yeah people really feeling like taylor swift for example was a traitor

00:21:35.780 to their kind because she chose to get engaged to the football star even though in her earliest songs

00:21:44.200 it was all about dating the football star yeah like like she she isn't turned on anyone this is well

00:21:50.320 well attested but whatever yeah yeah and i think it's so sad that taylor swift came out like right

00:21:58.100 as it became uncool to date it became you know uh i mean obviously this means the urban monoculture is

00:22:04.340 like extra cooked from where it would otherwise be if women now think that having a boyfriend lowers

00:22:10.120 their status in female communities which is the core thing that women care about it's why they put on

00:22:14.780 makeup it's why they dress the way they do it's you know well so here's actually where where i'm kind

00:22:19.540 of seeing a confluence of things because just this morning i was listening to asmund gold go over a bunch of

00:22:24.420 screenshots specifically from uk men of women in the uk basically asking for money and implying that

00:22:32.360 in exchange that there would be sexual access like they'd hook up if a guy paid for their nails to get

00:22:38.920 done or paid for their hair or gave money for like a lot of these were young single mothers too

00:22:43.420 or like literally pregnant but they were also implying like well give me money and we'll hook up

00:22:47.800 so just literally sex work basically but with with some additional theater to make it seem less like

00:22:56.260 what it actually was and i'm looking at all this because we what we first saw was the the initial

00:23:02.780 wave of trending trad wife ism from there we went to the stay-at-home girlfriends which is a significant

00:23:10.940 step down right it's it's being a trad wife but without any of the legal or religious protections

00:23:17.380 of being married so you're even less secure and then we just sort of went from that to not even

00:23:25.320 being comfortable to posting about having boyfriends at all one could even argue that this is in service

00:23:32.080 of being able to pursue more of an only fans kind of lifestyle or a modified version of it as described

00:23:40.980 by asthma gold recently with with these women basically like saying hey like then mommy money

00:23:45.620 there wouldn't be so many anecdotal examples of this of women asking for money if it didn't

00:23:51.880 occasionally work so this seems to be at least in some sub-communities a pervasive behavior

00:23:57.280 yeah meaning that basically women have gone from depending on husbands for money to depending on

00:24:03.100 boyfriends for money to now depending on sort of this network of men for money more like an actual

00:24:10.320 sex worker and i i do wonder if part of this blurring out boyfriends faces is more of that well i have to

00:24:18.020 maintain optionality because now i have so little commitment to and commitment from men in my my life

00:24:25.360 and yet i still want a life in which i utilize men for money that i need to have an identity that's

00:24:33.960 completely unmoored from them i i just it's it seems to be like sort of the completely debauched

00:24:41.600 end state of the atomization of society when women cannot depend completely on the state for their

00:24:48.300 support where they still want to depend also on men or on some kind of pay pig that imagine if a man

00:24:54.360 did this by the way like he went on dates with a woman and then he was like here's my haircut bills

00:24:58.940 here's my you know like it's bad it's it's really bad i think one of the the examples that asmund

00:25:05.820 gold wrote off i mean i only listen unfortunately to like youtube videos and stuff while also working

00:25:10.080 so i have to listen to it but a woman like texted a man being like oh i had a salad for lunch and he's

00:25:14.880 like oh what kind of salad like that's nice and she was like well you could have even just offered

00:25:19.020 to pay for it like why didn't you even offer to pay for it like what just really crazy stuff

00:25:23.580 so i just it's to me very strange behavior but also it's it's very yeah if a man did that if a

00:25:30.840 man did something like that people would i almost want to be a man just to like do this to women to

00:25:37.100 freak them out like you could have offered to pay for it well i mean what's so interesting to me is i

00:25:42.720 mean in the past they're up and even now like there are absolutely men who are kept men it's not unheard

00:25:50.320 of even in media for example in breakfast at tiffany's holly golightly has a love interest the

00:25:56.500 love interest is a kept man he calls himself an author but he's living in an apartment and paid

00:26:01.900 for by a woman who's married who keeps him on the side these things they happen they're just a lot less

00:26:07.380 usual for men so anyway to continue here yeah but there was an overwhelming sense from single and

00:26:14.120 partnered women alike that regardless of the relationship being with a man was almost a guilty thing to do

00:26:19.360 on the delusion diaries podcast fronted by two new york-based influencers hallie and jazz oh my god

00:26:26.320 what names they're hallie and jazz new york-based influencers there you go they discuss whether

00:26:31.840 having a boyfriend is quote-unquote lame now quote why does having a boyfriend feel republican in quote

00:26:38.560 boyfriends are out of style they won't come back until they start to act right

00:26:46.040 in quote read another with thousands of likes in essence quote having a boyfriend typically

00:26:52.580 takes hits on a woman's aura in quote as one commenter claimed funnily enough both of these

00:26:59.440 hosts have partners which is something i often see online even partnered women will limit men and

00:27:04.760 heterosexuality partly in solidarity with other women but also because it is now fundamentally uncool

00:27:11.640 to be a boyfriend girl it is not just in these women's imaginations audiences are icked out by

00:27:18.740 seeing too much boyfriend content myself included it seems as indicated by my liberal use of the mute

00:27:24.380 button when author and british vogue contributor stephanie yeba hard launched her boyfriend on social

00:27:31.800 media she lost hundreds of followers whoa even if we are still together i wouldn't post them here

00:27:37.980 there's something cringy and embarrassing about constantly posting your partner these days in

00:27:42.340 quote she tells me adding that quote there is a part of me that would feel guilty for sharing my

00:27:49.380 partner constantly especially when we know the dating landscape is really bad at the moment i wouldn't

00:27:54.980 want to be boastful in quote i love they're acting like overly wealthy women not wanting to like

00:28:00.700 signal too much in like a drought right and of course what they mean by this and all of these women

00:28:06.140 are obviously very you know progressive is that there are one progressive male for every two

00:28:12.080 progressive females so if they're out there oh requirement which a lot of these women have

00:28:16.780 that's true that they went yeah progressive women that's yeah so do you think actually part of this is

00:28:23.240 just i need to be very protective of my boyfriend because women will chase after him that could be a

00:28:29.340 part of it a fear because he's so rare yeah to have a progressive boyfriend and also if you're

00:28:35.380 progressive you're way more likely to have to be you're you're accepted to maybe be more open to

00:28:40.240 being poly or having an open relationship oh yeah true if i'm a progressive woman and i manage to

00:28:46.540 actually secure my progressive boyfriend and i really like him if i post him online maybe women

00:28:52.120 will be like oh like we should date and then and then if he gets a lot of inbound inquiries he's more

00:28:57.700 likely to pressure me into opening a relationship because obviously i'm open-minded and progressive

00:29:02.480 right oh yeah hmm maybe who knows sophie miller a content creator also experienced people unfollowing

00:29:14.220 her when she shared a romantic relationship quote this summer a boy took me to sicily i posted about

00:29:20.100 it on my subscribe subscribers section and people replied saying things like please don't get a

00:29:25.680 boyfriend exclamation mark she admits that her content perhaps becomes less exciting when she is in a

00:29:31.160 relationship quote being single gives you this ultimate freedom to say and do what you want

00:29:36.540 it's absolutely not every woman but i do notice that we can become more beige and watered down

00:29:42.980 online when in a relationship myself included end quote and i thought that that's really interesting

00:29:48.280 as well as sort of how they're contextualizing this they're contextualizing it in a few ways

00:29:52.060 they're saying one they expect to get unfollowed if they post pictures of their boyfriend accidentally

00:29:57.480 so this is like a community behavior that's evolved well they've actively seen people get unfollowed

00:30:03.940 when they do post yes content and they have a a fear that what was i gonna say that that they will

00:30:12.560 look less free if they have a boyfriend they'll look less wild which i mean of course you are if you

00:30:19.600 have a boyfriend and you get married many of the things that we associate with a free and wild

00:30:24.320 lifestyle just become pointless like not just going to nightclubs or going to bars like why would you

00:30:29.740 do that if you have a partner right yeah but that's what being wild is in these people's minds but more

00:30:35.860 than that you've got you know going on a trip to greece right going on a boat going on it like if you

00:30:41.800 have a partner you're significantly less likely to do these types of expensive and pointless recreational

00:30:47.160 activities that are often associated with clout within an online sphere i think some of this is

00:30:52.740 warranted people like to follow influencers in in many cases who are very different from them but

00:30:57.520 also in many cases who share their lifestyle and many people for example more commonly bemoan

00:31:02.700 losing their friends to parenthood like now now suddenly like they only want to talk about their

00:31:07.860 kids their schedule totally changed they're never available anymore right like depending on your

00:31:13.100 relationship status and family status you can become quite uninteresting to both friends and

00:31:18.180 followers i i don't i don't want to discount that here i do think that if if you're following this

00:31:24.240 single life like lifestyle and and you want to follow people who extol that it's going to suck

00:31:31.680 when they get boyfriends yeah so that's not this up here for my conversations one thing is certain

00:31:36.800 the script is shifting being partnered doesn't affirm your womanhood anymore it is no longer considered

00:31:42.440 an achievement and if anything it's becoming more of a flex to pronounce yourself single

00:31:46.040 as a straight woman we're confronting something that every other sexuality has had

00:31:50.700 to contend with a politicization of our identity heterosexuality has long been purposely

00:31:58.000 yeah close the door buddy it's becoming more of a flex to pronounce yourself single

00:32:05.500 as a straight woman we're confronting something that every other sexuality has had to contend with

00:32:09.360 the politicization of our identity heterosexuality has long been purposely indefinable

00:32:14.860 so it is harder for those within it outside of it to critique however as our traditional roles

00:32:21.920 begin to crumble maybe we're being forced to reevaluate our blind allegiance to heterosexuality

00:32:27.860 of course you knew that's where she was going with this which actually makes sense given how few guys

00:32:34.000 fall into this sort of urban monocultural ultra-progressive worldview as they felt they face a

00:32:41.160 drought of those guys you know they're now beginning to be like well then it's a good thing to be single

00:32:47.880 it's a good thing to not be with a guy in fact that is the harder road to travel that is the more

00:32:53.120 honorable road to travel i'm not failing i'm not bad i'm actually doing it right and it is these women

00:32:58.880 with partners that are doing it the wrong way there was a reddit thread on ask feminists that was

00:33:05.620 discussing this and one of the things that a lot of people mentioned to begin with which i think is

00:33:11.440 likely absolutely true is they're like well you do realize that a lot of these people have parasocial

00:33:16.120 followers that are men and are gooning over them and are going to unfollow the moment it looks like

00:33:21.060 they have a boyfriend yeah sort of the korean pop star dynamic where they're not allowed to have

00:33:27.480 boyfriends because they would lose followers they would lose their their fans yeah well like even early

00:33:33.580 in our relationship i don't think we posted about it much because you had sort of an online thing

00:33:37.940 octavian are you my boyfriend

00:33:43.600 you were tiptoeing but i heard you and i think the fans heard you

00:33:52.800 he's a boy and he's my friend are you my friend buddy

00:34:00.440 yeah all right so they were pointing out that a lot of these women might have like

00:34:07.360 followers and their boyfriends might as well right oh another thing that people noted is that not

00:34:15.280 sharing content that shows you have a boyfriend is a very good way to cheat on a partner because

00:34:21.040 then the the partner themselves and a lot of i guess progressive guys in sort of like open

00:34:26.360 relationships and stuff like that probably don't want it to be known that they're dating people

00:34:30.080 because they pretend on early dates that they don't already have a primary

00:34:33.280 that's another really good point yeah we we don't know the extent to which boyfriends are actively

00:34:39.440 asking to be excluded from girls social media posts yeah and now girls are trying to normalize it you

00:34:44.940 know if i was if i was like a manslet out there on the market right now i'd be like sharing this with

00:34:49.880 girls and be like well don't you know it's not cool to post pictures and then the girls are trying to

00:34:53.680 just frame it as their decision like i'm just trying to be independent but really they're

00:34:57.820 i'm just trying to help you stay independent oh my gosh yeah but you could see like i got a boyfriend

00:35:03.120 who's progressively coded really successfully both sleeping around and and having a lot of side girls

00:35:10.660 or like literally like actually i don't know if you remember when andrew hubelman got in trouble

00:35:16.640 for having a lot of girlfriends all at the same time and they didn't know for a long time

00:35:21.620 you just had different girls in all these different places

00:35:24.860 why are you laughing yes can you can you go out of the room please is this a teddy bear

00:35:36.360 okay anyway so the new york post had a response to this which is typically pretty conservative

00:35:44.660 yeah there you go to me personally all this article indicates is that there is a shift in romantic

00:35:49.620 relationships being the ultimate status symbol platonic connections family career and hobbies

00:35:53.800 and hitting financial milestones are now in the mix therefore being signaled does not make you

00:35:58.360 incomplete the article has sparked much debate online was brilliant hilarious single women

00:36:02.940 celebrating being unbound from this idea that their lives are sad because they don't have a man

00:36:07.800 shameless media's ruby hall posted on tiktok dancing to taylor swiss the fate of ophelia with the

00:36:14.080 caption apparently it's chic to be single now feller tiktok user lydia posted a clip of herself

00:36:20.260 waving and blowing kisses to george michael's father figure thank you british vogue for making

00:36:25.960 all the girlies that have been single their entire lives feel very powerful right now

00:36:29.760 a well-deserved win for us lydia said meanwhile lulu davidson a pr posted a similar clip to the

00:36:37.640 mamma mia movie version of the winner takes all how it feels to be single after british vogue

00:36:43.540 declared that having a boyfriend is embarrassing i'm always ahead of the trends she said abby bayoff

00:36:49.120 who has 1.3 million followers shared a video of herself also celebrating the news while dressed up

00:36:54.280 in the nines british vogues comes out declaring that having a boyfriend is embarrassing what a time

00:36:59.920 to be alive and single ladies and so i love this first of all by the way all of these women who are

00:37:04.900 just so excited to share this news and try to normify this cultural trend right then we have

00:37:11.260 somebody saying i think the article is less about women rejecting men and more about women rejecting

00:37:18.320 dependency for decades being someone's girlfriend was treated like a personality she told news au

00:37:24.400 now we're swinging the other way building entire online identities rather than real identities i know

00:37:30.880 you that say i choose me that's progress but i can also tip into performance but it can also tip

00:37:38.380 into performance she also said it's residue from what influencer tinks called boyfriend sickness when

00:37:45.600 her friend gets into a relationship and disappears now it's also shifted to the online world miss boz

00:37:51.380 there was definitely a shift to celebrating being single but there was a big shift between i'm single

00:37:57.400 because i'm growing and i'm single because men suck was only the first being an empowering move

00:38:04.220 the real flex isn't being single or taken is being secure either way and there are just tons of folks here

00:38:10.560 i could go through of women like agreeing with this but i want to get your wider take on this

00:38:14.900 i think this is like i said earlier a product of sort of the end end product of atomization of

00:38:23.280 women's support both from the state and from men in this case where we've gone from if you want

00:38:30.580 support from men it's gone from support from husband to support from boyfriend to now support from

00:38:36.060 broad network of male supporters either like literally through only fans or just through

00:38:42.220 some broad network of hangers on who you text and occasionally ask for money on venmo venmo and like hook up in

00:38:49.600 exchange for vague bits of support which ultimately aren't it's not enough it's it's not going to

00:38:55.200 support their lifestyle so they're ultimately doing worse than if they just got married and and and

00:38:59.820 got support from men through that pathway i also do think that this could have to do with the fact

00:39:05.020 that the dating pool for progressive women is indeed so small that either they just have to normalize

00:39:10.640 the fact that they're not going to date men at all and so a lot of this is sort of social pressure of

00:39:14.520 just like hey it i mean look at the way that people are approaching capitalism now and and this

00:39:20.300 concept of like home ownership and being financially independent people now especially

00:39:24.980 younger generations understanding that they're never going to have access to it are are now highly

00:39:30.220 critical of the concept of capitalism and possibly even the concept of fiat currency and we're seeing

00:39:35.940 maybe something similar with okay well if if if having a progressive boyfriend or husband is also

00:39:43.800 so unachievable we need to start questioning whether or not we want it at all you know what's what is

00:39:50.520 the point you know we are we should also condemn it you know this is the this is the relationship

00:39:55.200 version of eat the rich or billionaires should be taxed more where we have to shame anyone who has

00:40:01.940 this very limited resource that ultimately is aspirational but we now have to pretend that it's

00:40:07.560 not because it's not accessible to everyone and we have this very inbuilt idea of fairness which

00:40:13.720 seems to be even stronger in women of this feeling of injustice if things aren't quote-unquote fair

00:40:18.900 so i think that's also a factor yeah that makes sense to me i think you're i mean i'd be interested

00:40:25.860 to see if this trend spirals more yeah like how how can it get worse how can it get worse

00:40:31.900 than women literally disavowing any sort of romantic male commitment and also at the same

00:40:38.360 time that you didn't cover it as much demanding essentially micro payments from men in exchange

00:40:43.120 for small sexual how could it get worse it could become seen as like more of an active bad thing

00:40:48.580 for progressives to date men at all think of like polyamory except you're bad it just eliminates that

00:40:54.980 from society then you know well i mean over the long term but i mean i i could totally see this

00:41:00.700 happening as we move from polyamory being normalized in these communities from having nothing but casual

00:41:06.560 sex and if you're doing anything other than just casual sex that's seen as like a betrayal of the

00:41:12.100 progressive cause well i mean that's very brave new world that in in eldest huxley's brave new world

00:41:17.740 there's this there's a lot of catchphrases that are literally programmed into all the people in

00:41:24.460 society one of those catchphrases is everybody belongs to everyone else and it's actually

00:41:28.940 considered quite socially socially questionable if you start having sex with only one person

00:41:36.640 consistently at that point your friends start to sort of pressure you to like yeah you should you

00:41:42.380 should probably start sleeping around like with someone else you should you should not be so exclusive

00:41:47.820 and perhaps we're we're just getting to that point all right so it's already brave new world that's

00:41:53.560 wonderful that's wonderful thank goodness yeah yeah all right love you simone i love you did you want

00:41:58.460 to record another one or just one today i'm up for recording the johannesburg one that i outlined

00:42:04.580 okay great just take a break to get octavian set up with his i'll get his thing set up and would

00:42:10.480 you mind closing the door to the master veteran emin because he opened it octavian octavian come here what do you

00:42:17.360 want to say to the subscribers what do you want to are you going to get a mommy one day one day are

00:42:21.420 you like going to get married yeah why why why do you want that because i want to ring because you

00:42:28.300 want to ring like i'm always dad and married mom like this yeah right there you see what i'm pointing

00:42:34.800 to oh like she has a ring and you want to ring like that yeah or do you want to ring more like dad's

00:42:39.540 ring yeah i'm like a lot more like dad's okay okay so you want to get married so you can get a ring

00:42:46.940 you might be surprised that a lot of women actually feel that way okay yeah

00:42:50.640 that's why they want to get married and what are you going to do with your wife i'm going to do with

00:42:58.920 my wife i'm going to find the person that i will do what the helicopter is to me and guess what if you

00:43:07.380 like and subscribe and you and i see that i find the person that did i'll go to russian fly you to it up

00:43:15.520 and fly you to my like president house so he thinks we voted today and so he thinks he's going to

00:43:22.480 become the president and we talked to him about how the president gets like air force one and so

00:43:27.520 what he's saying is that if you like this video he'll go back after he becomes president and send

00:43:34.900 a helicopter to your house and fly you to the white house is this for real are you lying

00:43:39.380 no i'm not no i'm not tonight tonight tonight tonight if you text if like call me about that

00:43:48.200 if they like the video at at 3 a.m in the night you're going to send a helicopter to their house

00:43:59.820 and so they're going to wake they're going to be woken up by a helicopter landing but what if it's

00:44:09.240 dark there's going to be a camera and night vision oh so the helicopter people are going to have night

00:44:16.880 vision yeah yeah he's basically going to send a squad team to people's house drag them out of their

00:44:23.860 homes this is what happens if you like and subscribe yeah you'll also need to vote octavian in but i'm

00:44:33.160 sure that's trivial oh so they gotta call you but do you have a phone number what's your phone number

00:44:37.380 you can just call the phone number of the white house

00:44:43.320 yeah so they'll they'll handle it the white house knows he's going to be elected so they'll just handle

00:44:55.700 all of this for you right so you just call the white house and say i liked and subscribed so

00:45:03.360 send the helicopter to pick me up at 3 a.m in yeah and if you keep liking description to the videos

00:45:10.880 if i see if you do it in early in the night i'ma when you have to go home then you could just stay

00:45:16.860 with me if i keep seeing you do it if you don't see if i don't see one single day then you're gonna

00:45:23.680 kick out forever for real i'm talking for you know how to youtube buddy that's some that is some

00:45:30.440 making yeah well they have to kick out they have to kick kicked out for only one day that's not that

00:45:37.960 much oh okay one night once the day and the night comes then they can come back as long as they give

00:45:45.060 me the address yeah if you don't give me the address if you show me it then you will not know where

00:45:51.080 you're with and you don't get to come with me if you tell me that so make sure make sure make sure

00:45:59.640 make sure you heard it here first ladies and gentlemen do it ow just do it okay buddy get up we're

00:46:09.080 gonna go find that computer okay great bye bye bye love you simone i love you too

00:46:20.760 especially now i'm not

00:46:22.440 all right you ready to go i am sir how how are you feeling this morning

00:46:40.120 good we we voted we got insane amounts of holy basil oh it's pretty good we're going to store it

00:46:49.960 in mass by freezing it which i didn't know you could do and so now it's just like oh we're going

00:46:53.800 to blend it make a sauce and i would freeze it with an amount of water and an amount of oil maybe

00:47:00.040 the water is not advised just oil just cover it with oil once it's minced just cover it in what

00:47:05.080 type of oil we're gonna use olive oil i guess yeah and then freeze it and then we'll have holy basil

00:47:10.280 all the time because it's so hard to get thai basil or holy basil fresh so we have to drive to the

00:47:15.080 asian market together and with the other thing i was telling simone that our fab is we're in the

00:47:19.800 final stage of development now for the chatbot feature so if anybody wants to do testing and like

00:47:26.840 dedicate it a certain amount of time a day to testing let me know and i can get you free tokens

00:47:32.200 and that's the way that we're going to handle that so we'll just adjust your token amount sort

00:47:35.880 of like paying you and you could play with chatbot then look for bugs a good chatbot and it's paid for

00:47:43.320 which is if you're into that then you'll get why that's valuable i i used to spend so much money

00:47:49.880 on chatbots before this i i literally would spend like a hundred dollars every three weeks i want to

00:47:56.120 say yeah so basically if you're a power user type you will see the value in what we are offering

00:48:02.440 because it is better than the even top drawer chatbot platforms but we will cover the cost if you give us

00:48:10.200 some feedback you look like mommy does it hurt to walk like that

00:48:21.960 do you like looking like mommy

00:48:23.160 so you want to be just like mommy one day

00:48:36.040 go get me a bouncy castle

00:48:40.440 a bouncy castle

00:48:45.400 whoa

00:48:50.760 you did mommy falls down all the time right she's kind of clumsy

00:48:56.760 i i love that you associate that with her

00:48:59.080 yes

00:49:16.840 yes

00:49:17.240 yes

00:49:18.200 it's

Based Camp - November 05, 2025

Happy Relationships ＂Too Republican＂ To Be Cool？ Riiiiight…

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