Based Camp - How I Trained My Wife

00:00:00.000 hello simone i'm excited to be here with you today today we are going to be talking about how

00:00:04.640 i brainwashed you or trained you or whatever word you want to use into the perfect wife drone that

00:00:12.480 you are today yes husband you know i mean you are honestly remarkably good like i and and trained is

00:00:22.480 the right word here like we worked for a long time yeah it didn't start it didn't things weren't

00:00:28.160 smooth always no they think they're very smooth i won't say it's not that they were not smooth it's

00:00:33.600 that you made more mistakes but they were understandable mistakes given the context

00:00:37.920 of the relationship at the time well also given societal norms about what normal women do in

00:00:43.600 relationships which as we've covered in other episodes is really toxic so actually if you want

00:00:49.120 to even have a slightly healthy relationship training of your wife is mandatory just because

00:00:55.840 the social contract she expects the societal norms she's coming in with are by default toxic they

00:01:03.040 need to be removed like you need to like this is like you know she's coming in like ridden with

00:01:08.720 license you should like spray her down and like the i'll give you an example of something like this

00:01:13.680 because you know she might be saying this and if you're a woman or something like that you're like

00:01:17.040 oh my gosh come on this isn't true and i'm like you if you are a woman of our generation you went through

00:01:23.520 an entire generation of media whether it's the simpsons or family guy or any of these sitcom shows

00:01:30.560 where the stereotype was that you have a fat dumb husband and the wife's job was to sit there in the

00:01:37.280 background and make snide remarks about his competence in front of other people yeah and then

00:01:43.280 actually just go do what is actually right because he can't handle it on his own because he's just such a

00:01:49.280 buffoon yeah it was always just eye rolling and undermining your husband and that that was just so

00:01:56.320 normalized and no and so many women are like i haven't been brainwashed into being you know by by

00:02:01.440 by the culture i'm in to being a psycho and it's like think about just just think about like if you're

00:02:09.040 a woman watching this all of this that you grew up with do you not think that that influenced your norms

00:02:15.680 about the way you might act in a relationship at all like yeah if you if you want to believe that

00:02:21.680 that didn't influence you you're just delusional i mean we we there is there's lots of evidence there

00:02:26.880 are plenty and we talked about this a little bit in our episode on propaganda how tv shows and radio

00:02:34.080 shows have shaped behavior even going so far as to for example in brazil depressed birth rates

00:02:40.720 when you make an aspirational middle class family have lower numbers of children specifically in

00:02:47.120 places where this one network soap operas played their fertility rates went down it didn't play in

00:02:53.200 every region of brazil and in the regions that were not exposed to this birth rates didn't go down so

00:02:58.480 absolutely media influences us and absolutely we need to be thoughtful about deprogramming people if

00:03:03.840 they've been exposed to this it's not just media the other huge problem that we have is really bad

00:03:12.080 psychological norms in terms of how you should act in a relationship e.g like that you guys should

00:03:18.720 have cooling off periods or that you should build your relationship around compromise or that like

00:03:25.040 all of these are like really hyper toxic in a relationship so so let's get into it also i want

00:03:32.320 to give a little hat tip to diana fleishman we just think she's the coolest we were inspired to do

00:03:37.440 this because she is currently finishing up a book called how to train your boyfriend and it's going

00:03:42.400 to come out in 2026 we're so excited for it so we're not talking about how to train men because

00:03:47.680 she's going to do it wait and like oh my gosh the psychological research she goes into with this

00:03:53.040 you've read like the draft right so you haven't read i haven't i mean i've only heard her about her

00:03:57.280 processes so far i haven't seen the draft but she's she's talked about like a lot of the research

00:04:01.120 she's been looking at and oh like she is it's going to be much more scientific this is me

00:04:05.920 talking off the cuff yeah we're talking anecdotally here but we're also i mean like i think that this

00:04:10.240 is this is very practical stuff and i think that if you are taking dating seriously if you're embarking

00:04:14.880 on a relationship or thinking about it you really really really should be thinking about these things

00:04:19.440 because you only have so much time before norms in a relationship becomes solidified and unchangeable

00:04:24.400 or at least harder to change the first thing that happened in a relationship that i remember was

00:04:32.880 like a major issue not not a major issue but it was like the first time when i was like oh this is a

00:04:37.760 norm that she has built that we need to deal with was you were mad at me about something and so you hung

00:04:43.440 up while you were talking this is absolutely if you normalize who you're dating ever hanging up in the

00:04:50.400 middle of a conversation or just walking out of a room just like ending a conversation because it

00:04:54.800 got uncomfortable shutting it down yes you are normalizing what is functionally a form of abuse

00:05:01.040 and what becomes a form of abuse because what that does is it allows either partner whichever one

00:05:06.960 wants to disengage and keep in mind how bad it is to set the storm whichever partner wants to disengage

00:05:13.040 from a conversation can immediately control that conversation which everyone is willing to stop

00:05:19.920 talking willing to stop trying to work this out immediately has control of the situation um that is

00:05:27.920 an incredibly toxic norm to set and i think it's way more common than you would think this this is

00:05:33.760 not necessarily gendered either i mean i hear about this happening a lot with men too like it just sort

00:05:38.320 of stop talking or shut down and refuse to engage so it's important i think that's the same it's not

00:05:44.240 like just walking out of the room or hanging up the phone it's also if they're just like uh you know

00:05:48.640 turn to the tv start ignoring you watching whatever you know or like just okay i'm not engaging i'm not

00:05:54.720 talking also like a really common way of like of doing this is like okay let's just let's just talk

00:05:59.840 about this later like putting it off to not being willing to have a conversation about it right away

00:06:04.720 yeah so there's a few reasons this is bad one is is that it gives the person with less willingness

00:06:11.840 to work out a a area of disagreement more control which means that both parties are rewarded for being

00:06:21.120 the partner who is being more disagreeable instead of being the partner who is more agreeable which

00:06:27.200 leads to more disagreement in the relationship overall the second problem is is it leads to the problem of you

00:06:34.080 know the common relationship rule of never go to sleep angry right you are extending the period

00:06:40.080 that you and your partner are mad at each other and have not worked out whatever it is that you

00:06:45.600 want to work out if you work it out was in the initial conversation and keep in mind that

00:06:51.200 you should as an adult be emotionally mature enough to work something like this out was in the initial

00:06:56.160 conversation um was out it becoming emotionally escalated uh or at least get to the point where you can

00:07:02.560 de-emotionally escalate be like i'm feeling really emotional and i said x because of y reason and

00:07:07.840 that's wrong like emotions are never a justification for action that's the next thing that absolutely for

00:07:13.120 you i didn't need to train you this much in this area but this is something that a lot of guys are

00:07:17.040 going to need to train their wives out of is my emotional state justified my actions so the worst case

00:07:27.600 scenarios you'll hear of this is a woman will like go up and slap a guy and they'll be like why did

00:07:33.920 you do that and she'll be like well in my dream you cheated on me it's like that's your effing dream

00:07:39.280 lady like it's terrifying you're being an absolute psycho imagine a guy just walked up and hit a girl

00:07:44.800 for no reason or their wife for no reason and it's like why she's like why did you do that he goes it's

00:07:49.520 tuesday like deal with it you'd be like wow that guy is an absolute psychopath yeah and yet women will

00:07:57.840 say well i felt and some guys will say this as well which means that women need a treatment out of this

00:08:02.560 as well i felt x reason so i did why the fact that you felt x and then did y is a personal failure on

00:08:14.640 your fault you're not the person who made you feel x emotion you can you can say well

00:08:22.080 because no no this this is a a big difference so suppose you emotionally escalate something or

00:08:27.600 something like that because a person is like spending in a specific way and you're like look

00:08:33.280 i have asked you repeatedly to stop going out and buying expensive bags or something like that we

00:08:38.080 actually cannot afford this right now and they didn't hear that so then the person needed to

00:08:42.800 emotionally or verbally escalate that's that's very different that's not them saying i that when

00:08:50.000 you go out and buy bags it makes me feel bad it's them saying we make x amount of money you are spending

00:08:57.440 y amount of money we are going to be effed if you continue to do this you see that's not a an emotional

00:09:04.880 argument they're not saying you make me feel this way and this comes downstream of psychological talk

00:09:10.560 and a lot of women are very impacted by this this this framing where they're like well my father

00:09:15.440 used to do x to me when i was a kid so i feel x way when like you do y or like my family always cared

00:09:21.760 about it's like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter you are responsible for who you are other people

00:09:28.640 aren't responsible for who you are you can choose to not engage with that stuff and just talking about

00:09:35.680 this early like with a lot of the stuff they can be like oh what are you doing are you training

00:09:38.720 them are you no you're you're walking them through the logic of this stuff and if you're like well

00:09:43.520 my the woman i'm dating just simply will not listen to logic like i can try to walk her through the

00:09:48.800 logic of why it is bad to punish someone for how you feel over something that has nothing to do with

00:09:55.200 them right like some some past thing or some trauma that you've decided to internalize as part of your

00:10:01.360 identity either you need to walk through with them why this is a bad idea or you're in for a lot of hurt

00:10:07.600 because yeah if you go into a long-term relationship with somebody like that that you cannot sit down

00:10:12.320 and logically talk through this stuff with forever for the rest of your life that is going to be

00:10:18.400 something you are dealing with you're going to be dealing with somebody who and this is your core

00:10:23.200 partner the core person you're working with the person you're running your most important business

00:10:26.640 venture with which is running your kids raising your kids they're going to be able to say sometimes

00:10:31.440 well i just disagree with you because the spirits told me basically like that's what their emotions are

00:10:36.400 because they allow them to trump your reality like you can say and i've seen families women women

00:10:44.000 do this the guy will be like functionally we can't afford this look at these numbers and then the

00:10:50.640 woman will say well when i was a child we didn't have a lot of money so i get really like triggered

00:10:56.080 and feel really upset when you talk about us not being able to afford things so you're attacking

00:11:02.880 me when you say we can't afford things and so you can't bring that up with me going forward if this

00:11:09.280 relationship's gonna and then they go out and they keep spinning yeah and then you can't solve the

00:11:14.480 problem and that that only gets worse because as soon as they realize they can do that within one domain

00:11:20.080 now anything can be a source of childhood trauma yeah and this isn't because they they necessarily

00:11:24.800 intentionally decide to exploit this it can also just be subconsciously because they know it's the path of

00:11:31.360 least resistance something they go to as a default i'll say that one thing i noticed

00:11:38.320 in the training process in the earlier years of our relationship not to say it ever ends necessarily

00:11:44.880 but there were issues that took us years to resolve and there were issues that took us

00:11:50.560 minutes to resolve and they can be just as heavy there's it's not about the weight of the actual

00:11:57.440 issue it's about whether or not it has already been encountered so for every issue where you brought it

00:12:05.520 up while it was happening like while it was a problem it was almost impossible like it wouldn't be solved

00:12:14.000 in the moment and it in many cases took years so one example is there was this terrible thing where like

00:12:20.800 every time malcolm's family if we were all together would pile on him and they did this in like a

00:12:27.360 pathological way you know he would say something and they'd be like malcolm now like you're being

00:12:32.720 unreasonable you need to stop like whatever i would side with them and throw malcolm under the bus because

00:12:39.360 my sort of default one like the societal default is for girlfriends and wives to criticize their

00:12:44.720 male partners so i hadn't been raised with any sort of mental training that i shouldn't be doing this

00:12:51.280 and then beyond that when i am in a social situation all i'm trying to do is just it's not me it's an llm

00:12:58.160 version of me designed to create maximum social equanimity equanimity and calmness like i'm just

00:13:06.800 i'm trying to get the average happiness of as many people as possible to to be high and

00:13:13.200 and everything no conflict people interacting and you're just like my job is to please the crowd

00:13:18.160 yeah so i'm going to throw malcolm under the bus and like just it's automatic and then you know after

00:13:24.720 each of those incidents you would come to me just like why would you like why would you throw that

00:13:32.720 really hurts like why would you do that that was horrible and then i would get really defensive and

00:13:37.040 then it became emotional and it actually took years for us to resolve this because every time

00:13:42.400 we tried to do it it became a really emotional thing for me and it was really hard for me to work

00:13:46.320 through versus other things that are really major issues like you know what to do when one of us is

00:13:51.760 dying how we raise our children and and like really tough things around children and family and what do you

00:13:56.640 do you know if an ailing parent wants to move in all these things how to match finances how to deal with

00:14:03.120 debilitating illnesses they can really ruin relationships and that all the time ruin relationships what is

00:14:09.680 what is infidelity all these things we talked about when we weren't going through them and resolved

00:14:16.640 them in minutes and so if you have a girlfriend or wife who's on the slightly more emotional side

00:14:23.360 or a boyfriend or husband i would suggest trying to head off as many of these issues while they're

00:14:30.640 abstract while they're not happy oh yeah and talking about what's expected of them like you're going to

00:14:35.440 meet your family for the first time i expect you to be aligned with me or more importantly you're

00:14:41.040 going to meet their family this wasn't a problem for us but i've seen this with other people where

00:14:45.040 like the wife's family will attack the husband and the wife will side with her family and this should

00:14:50.960 basically never happen unless the husband is egregiously in the wrong but like driving a partner for

00:14:56.800 that is it also like that that really helped initially too is when you reminded me before we went into

00:15:02.480 things by the way you're you're probably going to be tempted to side with everyone just to keep things

00:15:08.560 calm and to not create conflict when they pile on please just remember to not do that because it really

00:15:15.840 hurts me and yeah you know they're not being logical yeah they're not being logical when they're doing this

00:15:22.400 they're just it's also another one that's been a big ongoing issue which you have recently gotten

00:15:27.680 down from is you think that you look good when publicly you act humble you're like well i'm not

00:15:34.240 really good enough to be here i'm not really like i don't really deserve this position that you guys have

00:15:39.280 elected me for or given me then i'm like simone like i have to take her aside i'm like you are throwing

00:15:45.760 everyone who supported you up until now under the bus you are saying all of your supporters

00:15:51.680 made a bad decision by putting you here it's a bit like saying i'm not really qualified for this job

00:15:58.800 when the guy who recommended you hired you is in the room and you're making them you're throwing him

00:16:04.080 under the bus yeah yeah you're you're you're not acting humble you are humiliating everybody who has

00:16:09.920 supported you so that's a really good example again of how priming is really important so there are two

00:16:15.280 two pro tips we've just shared to recap one discuss it and ideally write it down in a google doc or a

00:16:21.360 relationship contract which is what we did it's it's like an active evolving google doc we have

00:16:27.520 where we agree to things like what's an acceptable interior temperature who pays for this who pays for

00:16:33.040 that like how do we manage finances how do we save money all those things that can lead to breakups

00:16:38.240 try to pre-negotiate them before they're an issue because as soon as it gets emotional and as soon as

00:16:42.480 there's some kind of history or conflict about it it is going to be a hundred times harder to resolve

00:16:47.120 second is if there's a recurring behavioral issue and the partner can abstractly be like

00:16:52.320 yeah i really need to not do that but they keep doing it you need to prime them before the likely

00:16:59.280 trigger event a lot and then the more they get the practice the less you're going to need to do it

00:17:05.520 but it's going to take a lot of repetition and don't give up because i think some people also just

00:17:10.080 give up they're like yeah i guess this is just never going to work no it does work eventually like

00:17:14.880 all of the persistent things and i will note it's also about knowing where women are likely going

00:17:19.520 to need training like the the thing about the thinking that acting with humility doesn't like

00:17:25.840 is always the right choice is something that many women even traditionalist women or i'd say even more

00:17:31.680 maybe especially traditionalist women are taught from a very young age yeah i actually remember

00:17:37.280 thinking as a kid like i'm going to make sure that i never become you know overly confident or conceited

00:17:45.280 in some way like no matter if i am i don't know what it is that made me decide this but i have this

00:17:50.720 memory as a kid of being like no matter what i'm going to understate myself no matter yeah well i know

00:17:58.400 because women are rewarded for this in our society for humility yeah yeah yeah and i think that this is

00:18:05.120 really really toxic and it's something that you're going to need to work with your wife on another

00:18:10.320 one is the humility thing like a big one was that is you always thought that you were not particularly

00:18:16.000 competent early in our relationship this was a big thing she was like i'm not that special i'm not that

00:18:21.840 good right but i had to work with you and set up in like entire training regimes because this is

00:18:26.160 something i had to logically help you is this and so i'd be like okay simone you don't think you're that

00:18:32.880 smart you know you're at cambridge for graduate school supposed to be one of the best graduate

00:18:37.120 schools in the world every day your job is to come to me and detail anyone you met during that day that

00:18:44.000 you thought was smarter than you and you rarely i think like maybe once every few months would find

00:18:49.200 somebody who you thought was smarter than you and i'm like do you not see that like this indicates

00:18:54.480 that you're probably on the smarter side of humanity like if this is what you are finding and you

00:19:00.800 even view the world with this degree of like humility and self-doubt right like the same

00:19:06.240 was the airport test where she's like i'm not that beautiful right and i'm like well okay we're in an

00:19:11.440 airport you're all the women around you point out any woman you think is more attractive than you

00:19:17.120 right like and let's develop a base younger than me um because that's not younger than you i was like

00:19:22.560 oh her and her and he's like well yeah but she's like she's 18 years and this is even this was made

00:19:27.360 even more clear for us when one day we went to a conference of it um and everyone under 18 had to

00:19:32.800 get x's on their hands because you you don't have that at an airport right and so i was like okay now

00:19:37.840 everyone look at everyone in this room who's who's more attractive than you and she'd go like well

00:19:42.080 there's that person that person that person would be like how many of them don't have x's on their

00:19:45.680 hands when she'd be like oh my god that was a huge thing when you really helped me realize that it

00:19:50.640 that youth is is beauty sorry it wasn't under 18 it was under 21 um but it wasn't who could get

00:19:57.600 alcohol and who couldn't that was it wasn't even like a use being under 21 because you're looking

00:20:02.800 for people more attractive than you somebody in your late 30s who has five kids you're pregnant with

00:20:09.040 number five right now you're looking around a room and the only people you see is more attractive than

00:20:14.960 you are under 21 that says a lot about where you are right not the only people there was like one or

00:20:22.320 two people who were more attractive but the point i'm making is that many women even exceptional women

00:20:28.400 are trained to believe that it is moral to frame themselves as non-exceptional which can lead to big

00:20:35.360 mistakes in terms of career decisions in terms of decisions to apply to programs and these affect both

00:20:42.800 partners i think this is cool because i think a common issue that men have is their wives come to

00:20:49.200 them and or girlfriends and complain about work and complain about this and that and i think a lot of

00:20:54.480 these complaints will just never happen if those women are given more confidence and assertiveness

00:21:00.320 but i think the problem is most men think that the the best option is just to sort of in a reactionary

00:21:06.880 way be like oh well you should have just done this and that when really you have to change their mindset

00:21:10.880 it you you can't yeah and infect these individual instances or that like it's not dog training it's

00:21:16.880 talking them through it right like and if somebody can't understand logic then that's a major problem

00:21:22.720 right like that's going to affect every layer of your relationship if you need to train your wife

00:21:26.560 like a dog instead of with logic that's going to be a major problem for you can be like women just

00:21:31.440 do not listen clearly some do like simone isn't the i dated a lot of people before simone and a lot

00:21:42.240 of them listen to logic well and i think a lot of it's also though it's a mixture of things it's it's

00:21:46.880 a mixture of being conditioned to do things and to not do things and there are people who we've met

00:21:51.840 like couples it started out really great where they just seemed so sweet and we were so excited for

00:21:55.840 them and then we see them years later and one is just like the the husband's completely

00:22:03.280 pussy whipped and he's not allowed to say anything without the wife who has somehow become like

00:22:08.160 increasingly woke deranged you know stopping him from believing anything area of like political i

00:22:15.120 can shut you down wherever we stop having logic wherever that creeps you normalize that within any

00:22:21.040 part of the relationship and it creeps throughout the course of the relationship well yeah and if you if

00:22:25.440 you allow a partner repeatedly to just shut things down or to be like oh you know you you can't say

00:22:31.600 that that's not okay or like if i feel emotionally challenged by this you can't talk about it then

00:22:38.160 that seems to be something that happens a lot challenges you forever yeah then that that's that's

00:22:43.680 i don't know if that's logic or conditioning i think i think that i think a lot of people condition

00:22:51.440 their partners to lean in to their lack of logic because that's how they win when for example a

00:22:57.120 girlfriend or wife responds with an emotional reaction and then gets what she wants boyfriends

00:23:03.520 and husbands are literally training them to no longer respond to to logic so i would actually put this back

00:23:09.520 on some men in some cases where they could have had a logic driven wife and then now they complain like

00:23:15.120 oh well she only reacts emotionally now to things maybe that's because every time she reacts

00:23:19.600 emotionally you reward her you didn't push back enough and now she's been conditioned to react

00:23:25.200 emotionally when she could have been rewarded for reacting logically and then she would have been

00:23:30.720 a more logical person i mean i think people respond and and people you can see this across cultures and

00:23:36.160 societies right like there there are different ways that cultures will relate to debate and argument and

00:23:42.080 i don't i don't i don't think it's totally genetic or ingrained i think a lot of it has to do with you

00:23:48.880 know what are you rewarded for are you rewarded for emotional appeals like eliezer yudkowski we complain

00:23:54.560 about the fact that he often turns to very emotional arguments because i think he's been rewarded over time

00:24:01.760 by how they seem to shut people down who otherwise are very illogical because he deals with a lot of really

00:24:08.000 smart autists who kind of don't know how to how to respond to emotional appeals that don't have anything

00:24:13.600 to do with logic like they're kind of they they don't feel like it's a domain where they can fight back

00:24:19.520 because they don't feel those emotions and they they can't play it's it's a currency in which they can't deal

00:24:24.560 they don't have that currency to trade and so i think he for example is is an example of someone who's been trained to

00:24:31.760 make emotional arguments and women can be trained to do that too yeah well and i think another area

00:24:39.280 here where people are trained when we talk about like the bad societal things is compromise no

00:24:44.400 relationship should ever be built on compromise compromise is the most toxic thing that you can

00:24:48.560 have in a relationship because compromise subconsciously rewards relationship division

00:24:54.080 by that what i mean is if i want two and my wife wants five and we have a relationship based on

00:24:59.920 compromise now both of us are subconsciously rewarded for exaggerating our position yeah i should tell

00:25:05.600 him i want 20 and he should tell me he wants zero and then we'll end up with you know and then you

00:25:10.880 begin to actually get closer when you misrepresent your position even if you're doing it subconsciously due

00:25:15.920 to like slight you know motivations there you you you move towards the position that you're representing

00:25:23.600 which means well first i wanted two but now i want one and at first she wanted you know five and now

00:25:28.880 she wants nine yeah and then maybe we end up getting five which was the original number i wanted but

00:25:33.680 because i said i wanted 20 i'm going to be resentful like you lost i'm going to feel like i lost yeah

00:25:38.000 because i didn't get my ass yeah so yeah you just you can't you can't win in a compromise it's horrible

00:25:43.440 it's horrible in the pregnancy relationships we go over a bunch of ways that you can actually handle

00:25:46.800 this disagreements you can handle them by just giving all powers to one party you can give all powers

00:25:52.080 to one party by domain like house decorations versus finance versus kids names versus planning all these

00:26:00.800 things you can use external mediators and you'll often end up with with much more favorable positions

00:26:06.960 to what you want when you give the final decision making per to your opposite partner i.e generally the

00:26:14.880 decisions are going to lead closer to what the person who doesn't have final say wants because the person

00:26:20.960 with final say has a responsibility to really think through what the other person is saying or damage

00:26:27.360 their relationship yeah and i think that's that's another thing so malcolm in the end for example has

00:26:33.680 final say on most of the things in our relationship and when he makes these calls they're ultimately more

00:26:39.840 charitable toward me than toward his preference like let's say he wants zero and i want five he's more

00:26:45.920 likely to err in favor of three than in favor of what he would want like a much lower number because

00:26:52.880 he knows that if he abuses his power consistently the relationship is just going to end and that's

00:26:57.760 the other thing about just more broadly relationship contracts and agreements and stuff in terms of what

00:27:04.400 not to do with training ultimatums are kind of non-viable i think a lot of people when they think about

00:27:10.640 relationship contracts they think that the violation penalty is and then i will leave you like if you

00:27:17.440 cheat on me then i will leave you it never should be because you you absolutely then have to leave

00:27:22.480 the partner if they do the thing and you might not actually want to do that so while we have a very

00:27:28.960 detailed relationship contract there are some exceptions that are just kind of fun this this leads

00:27:35.280 to a lot of cheating in relationships where somebody says if you cheat i will leave you and then the

00:27:38.960 person cheats and they don't leave them and then the person's like oh so there's no problem like yeah

00:27:43.200 so this is functionally i say i won't do it again but like if you're like no you like this goes against

00:27:49.600 like this the spirit of our relationship and will lead to x y and z problem now they won't do it right

00:27:54.560 like this will make me sad this will lead me to eventually leave you if you do this was like

00:27:59.760 cumulative things that's very different than like do this then why but i don't actually do what yeah and

00:28:06.160 so in our relationship contract literally what's written is the most common penalty is

00:28:11.920 this will make me feel bad if you do yeah it'll be sad because it's understood that if over time

00:28:19.040 you disappoint a partner enough the relationship is over this isn't something that needs to be you

00:28:25.040 know it is implicitly understood if over time you disappoint your partner enough you're gonna screw up but

00:28:32.720 making it this black and white cross this line i have to you know end this relationship immediately

00:28:41.280 you are setting yourself up for rampant abuse and also this feeling that oh actually i can get away

00:28:46.800 with it even more so than you'll hurt my feelings so let's say you know okay you you cheat on me it really

00:28:54.080 hurts my feelings okay yeah i mean i understand that i'll take that very seriously if instead it's you

00:28:59.600 cheat on me i'll leave you and then you cheat on that person and they don't leave you i actually

00:29:04.640 i don't know you kind of feel like you've been lied to you almost feel like okay great so it is you

00:29:09.120 know i haven't done anything wrong like clearly they didn't mean what they said yeah so yeah i that

00:29:15.040 that's a really really big one and i think that if people are like well early in a relationship

00:29:19.360 how do we establish a relationship like this right it all starts by asking the person what they want

00:29:26.560 from life and then being like okay does that align with what i want from life or the world or more

00:29:33.040 broadly right you know because then your relationship is based on your logical desires right like long-term

00:29:41.200 desires instead of or moral framing um instead of like short term if you marry someone because you feel

00:29:47.840 an attraction to them you can't do this right like because logic isn't the basis of your relationship

00:29:53.920 love is the basis of your relationship alignment isn't the basis of your relationship love is and so

00:29:59.840 then they can always trump anything with well this makes me feel x or feel y and and you're like well

00:30:06.320 you know feelings isn't the the underlying basis of reality and they're like but isn't that why we got

00:30:11.360 married like isn't that why we're together because of the feelings that you give me or gave me which is

00:30:17.280 really really dangerous because the feelings that you give somebody else are going to change over time

00:30:22.320 so they married you because of how you made them feel you're not going to make them feel that way

00:30:27.760 in 10 years or after you have five kids or whatever right like it should be based on a

00:30:34.320 logical alignment and so this is an early thing in a relationship that's really important to push

00:30:38.560 through yeah totally agreed anyway anything else i should go over here simone

00:30:45.040 i mean obviously i whip you when you make mistakes oh yeah of course i think another another really

00:30:57.120 wife unless it's like a sexual thing that you're into then yeah go for it fun the biggest aspect of

00:31:04.640 your training wasn't actually reactionary and wasn't even the conversations that we had hashing out

00:31:10.480 basically the terms of our relationship contract it was your transparency from the very beginning

00:31:16.320 that you were so explicit about what your plans values and expectations were that

00:31:27.760 so much of it was just already implicit there was no work you had to do because it was clear to me

00:31:33.920 and to anyone else who dated you what you were about what you would tolerate and what you would

00:31:38.960 not tolerate and that i think is my goal is x and y this is why i'm dating you my goal is marriage

00:31:46.960 but but all of that is in service of x and y well yeah and you were also you're also very transparent

00:31:52.480 about what you like what you don't like like if i make a meal and i don't hit the mark you're very

00:31:58.160 explicit about it like i i can trust you to say things even when you know that that you'll hurt my

00:32:03.760 feelings and that also ultimately trains anyone who's in your life to one know that they can trust

00:32:10.960 you but to also really know what your standards are and when when they're disappointed i think that

00:32:15.760 people train bad behaviors and their partners by not being transparent with them by not sharing

00:32:20.320 their expectations and by not being honest with them because then there's just not that

00:32:25.680 there's there's so much guesswork and when people operate on different social contracts you're going

00:32:33.200 to end up with disappointment and resentment and all sorts of problems so i think that's another really

00:32:39.200 big one that is super underrated i love you so much simone you are a great wife i don't actually

00:32:48.320 love you by the way we'll do another episode where i'm like i think love is a scam and i and i mean this

00:32:52.400 is somebody who is in like the literal best position to feel this emotion of love like i really admire

00:32:59.040 my partner i like spending time with her i feel really anxious when we're apart from each other and

00:33:04.560 it's the same with my kids right like i i think they're awesome people i don't like being apart from

00:33:09.680 them i like i like i have an aligned value system with them i want them to do great things with you i find

00:33:16.160 you arousing and everything right like i but all of the emotions that i feel about you can be given

00:33:23.760 some other easily knowable emotional name like admiration or kinship or friendship or lust or you

00:33:34.160 know any any of these words right and and i think that there isn't some distinct love emotion as other

00:33:40.480 people i really think that it evolved as a myth to be able to talk about people who either you wanted

00:33:50.000 to possess or have lust after or build a life with in a way that didn't say one of those things right

00:33:58.000 like they don't want to say they don't want to write poetry about how they lust after somebody so

00:34:02.000 they use the term love right or how they want to possess somebody or how they want to spend their life

00:34:06.560 with somebody um but but those are very easy emotions to understand that are different from

00:34:11.520 love like logically wanting to spend your life with somebody and not liking being apart from them

00:34:15.840 because you have a strong emotional attachment for them is not the same as whatever we have

00:34:20.480 mythologized as love we've already aired that episode so you can check it out if you want and

00:34:25.120 we're likely going to dig into this topic a bit more because i think it's really fascinating and could be

00:34:29.520 at the heart of where modern progressivism came from which was covering up what was like lustful or

00:34:38.720 previously shameful emotions with a veil that they are now beyond reproach which allowed people to

00:34:45.760 build their entire lives around seeking out emotional states because they could label this bundle of

00:34:51.680 emotional states love which historically you didn't do you lived for for duty or for your children or for

00:34:58.160 your nation and i'd also note here that in saying that love isn't a real emotional set i'm not alone

00:35:04.320 in saying this you know the the ancient greeks didn't have a love a word for what we call romantic

00:35:08.400 love we go more into this in the episode but even you know thinkers like c.s lewis said quote love is

00:35:13.920 not an affectionate feeling but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be

00:35:18.880 obtained and in saying that what he's saying is love is a choice to want something for a person

00:35:25.360 rather than an emotional state within yourself we talked about how gross it is when like lex freeman

00:35:30.160 is like well but what about love and it's like bro like love probably doesn't meaningfully exist

00:35:38.720 and this is one of those areas i'll just come out there where i'm like i don't think consciousness

00:35:41.760 meaningly exists i don't think love meaningfully exists i think it exists even less and this is also

00:35:46.880 a policy that you've held for a really long time because literally in our marriage trials we're like i

00:35:51.520 don't promise to love you i promise to constantly help you become the person you want to be and

00:35:56.080 improve you but i don't yeah i was like i can't control my emotional state like if this love

00:36:00.320 emotion doesn't exist like i can't promise that i'm gonna be captured by it at a later date and so

00:36:07.040 yeah but i i say it now because i think a lot of people are sort of scared to kick down this illusion

00:36:12.720 and be like hey this this is not a distinct emotion that exists because everyone will be like oh you

00:36:17.920 don't really care about your partner you're not really aligned with your partner you don't really

00:36:21.760 find your partner attractive you don't really and i think that anybody who has spent a long time

00:36:28.320 watching us knows it's like that's obviously not the case like we are stupidly aligned and and and

00:36:35.040 very much back to back against the world in terms of like most people when when we discuss with them

00:36:41.840 the idea of them working together they're like oh i could never do that like i could never do a

00:36:46.400 company with my wife okay and you say that you love them what is this you couldn't tolerate working

00:36:52.080 with them every day like sometimes man people who say that they really care about love yeah they're

00:36:58.320 like love and it's like well okay we'll work with your wife oh i don't want to be around her god forbid

00:37:03.840 you spend all day every day you're like we will do anything to be together at all times but that's not

00:37:10.080 driven by love it's driven by the fact that i've worked with people other than my wife and i know she's

00:37:14.560 the only one i can really rely on to be you know fully dedicated and efficient whereas most people

00:37:20.480 are kind of you know in an ideal relationship you're not training someone to be your paid or

00:37:29.280 unpaid courtesan who whose only purpose is to make you feel good and entertain you and be your sexy

00:37:36.800 person it is what marriage for the most part has been is an arrangement that allows people to live

00:37:42.960 functional lives together so and this is something i see so often from guys is is you know they're like

00:37:48.960 oh i want to like a hot you know whatever wife and i'm like you're you're asking for a courtesan like

00:37:54.320 you want some sort of like dancer or something like that and then you hope that she's smart on the side

00:37:59.280 like yeah well and also then you're surprised when somehow like they're not aligned with you

00:38:04.640 the best the best training really is for both partners to have the same objective function and

00:38:13.600 to understand that they're more likely to achieve it like literally because it's true one would hope

00:38:19.520 by working together yes that they are better together than than on their own and then suddenly

00:38:24.960 and this is how it has been for us with most things in our life every conflict is more

00:38:31.680 we want the same thing we want the same outcome and we just happen to have different data sets

00:38:37.120 so the conflict is over that you build it into a hypothesis like okay you think y i think x let's

00:38:43.520 test this right like we both want healthy flourishing children and we have really picky eaters that are

00:38:49.120 in some cases not like not in the right weight range for their age and we're both really worried

00:38:56.000 about them and our conflict is he and i have consumed very different information about metabolic

00:39:03.120 health and nutrition but what's great about having neutral conflict breakers today is you have ai

00:39:10.160 like you used to need to go to a priest or something and now you can be like okay i think x she thinks

00:39:14.240 y who's more right yeah yeah and actually studies have shown that when couples reframe conflicts

00:39:23.520 they're going through using language about each of them in the in the what second person you know

00:39:29.680 like you and i would be like well okay so malcolm and simone are having a disagreement over this what

00:39:33.760 would we advise them to do when they when they take the first person out of it they're far more likely to

00:39:39.920 as a disassociated party even if they're only acting as one behave more logically so even the process

00:39:46.960 of just writing in your conflict to an ai in that third person of just like well simone and malcolm

00:39:53.040 have this disagreement what would you advise you're all you're even priming the participants in the

00:39:58.000 argument to start thinking about it in what has been shown to be a more productive fashion so yeah

00:40:03.520 i love that i love that way of doing it by the way here's it here's a fun stat for you we are less

00:40:09.360 than a thousand five hundred subscribers from fifty thousand no way oh my gosh that's crazy that's so

00:40:20.000 cool ah just went by forty thousand i feel like you're not a subscriber you should as our son octavian

00:40:28.320 puts it life and and describe life and describe please it would help us a lot yeah yeah we hope to

00:40:35.680 provide not as much as not as much as apple reviews apple podcast reviews are the most helpful

00:40:41.440 because they're the most hard obviously patreon's really appreciated as well but oh my gosh yeah

00:40:46.800 and i'm super excited to do more premium stuff for patreon so if we keep growing at the rate we've

00:40:52.000 grown in the past months and maybe it's just because we've done a bunch of like juicy misogynistic

00:40:56.160 stuff or something if we keep growing at this rate we can we we won't have financial problems

00:41:01.520 soon because right now we don't have jobs so that'd be cool we could do youtube full-time

00:41:06.560 yeah i'm wondering actually though are there would you give different wife training trips

00:41:11.760 sorry tips for the men who really are just like yeah i don't care i want a passport wife i want a

00:41:17.520 brazilian model i want a trope like a white mistake is there is because i don't like my concern about

00:41:26.480 training them is that because your incentives are misaligned like you're there for the youth

00:41:30.960 and beauty and for someone maybe to raise your kids or like be sexy and here's the thing if you

00:41:36.000 want a passport wife then maybe you're even in a better position to find a wife you can be logical

00:41:40.160 with like okay yeah but then like isn't it better as a temporary arrangement because you want them for

00:41:47.760 their youth and beauty and they want you for your money so shouldn't you just do it on year-long contracts

00:41:53.200 no i still think that you can use the power play that you get because you have a differential power

00:42:00.480 position if you're getting a passport wife to say hey we're going to do things logically to optimize

00:42:06.800 for this outcome not to optimize for my happiness but for this outcome okay what would the outcome be

00:42:13.040 well whatever they work together for that outcome to be but but the out no because the women want

00:42:18.960 a better life and money no no no the women are okay with saying i'm signing up with you so that

00:42:25.040 we can both achieve y or z together no because they're really in it for the money and the security

00:42:30.400 and maybe a more glamorous comfortable right and if it's a woman with a man think about this simone

00:42:36.480 men want career oriented outcomes right like the man is the one providing for the woman okay the man says

00:42:44.240 my goal right is achieving x and x is a career oriented outcome it is also the woman's goal for

00:42:52.720 him to achieve x because her status as a passport wife is tied to his status as a passport man

00:43:00.160 ah okay this is actually sort of what i expect to happen is ai hits really hard because we're going to

00:43:06.320 see disproportionately i think men performing better because it is the more entrepreneurial risk-taking

00:43:11.920 people that are going to be able to make money in a post ai economy meaning that i think more women

00:43:16.960 will actually turn to men as kind of careers like i will be a professional wife mother girlfriend

00:43:23.920 and i do think that we're going to see almost kind of a return to the corporate family where you know

00:43:28.400 back in the day the butcher would work with his wife and the butcher would be out slaughtering

00:43:33.680 the pigs and processing the meat and the wife would be up front selling and managing the finances and

00:43:37.760 and and doing the book what this means is you're not looking for a wife you're looking for like

00:43:42.000 a secretary or support that does wife things as well yeah that's also sexy a sexy secretary

00:43:49.360 i i don't think sexy is important i think i'm just the reason the problem is a significant

00:43:55.760 portion of our audience only wants the the brazilian ukrainian models they want to get over that

00:44:03.600 right like that's how they're going to ruin their lives they're clearly not capable of getting over

00:44:07.200 it chime in in the comments if you've changed your mind on this but we're going to get no one chiming

00:44:11.280 in who's like yeah i came to my senses and i've decided that i'm going to marry i don't need to i

00:44:16.720 don't need to worry about them they're not part of humanity's genetic future these these people

00:44:20.560 no i'm honest these people who take hot passport wives never breed above our population rate from what

00:44:27.280 i've seen or almost never because they may promise to have a larger family but the vast majority

00:44:32.000 but they don't they get here they have one kid the woman does and now she's like now i've locked

00:44:35.840 you down now you can't leave me now i get half of what you you have yeah if you ever want to leave

00:44:40.080 me right like why would i continue right like you effed yourself you played yourself okay you can marry

00:44:46.000 a woman who's from your own cultural group and like you and has a line value system with you

00:44:50.240 or a woman who is feigning that hmm okay

00:44:55.520 that's a i'm sorry that's a big segment of our audience so but it's just i've seen it over and

00:45:05.360 over and over again it's a very easy play like think logically from the perspective of your average

00:45:13.120 woman in a developing country who's trying to get a passport bro to marry you yeah you say is whatever

00:45:18.400 they want to hear until you pumped out one kid you know well under repopulation rate and now they

00:45:24.720 can't leave you as easily yeah this is actually this has happened with a couple male passport bro

00:45:32.320 influencers who for a while had these channels about their hot wives and how they were just killing it

00:45:41.520 progressive youtubers love to cover them because then everything falls apart

00:45:44.240 every day they have one kid and everything falls they love talking about how like their wives have

00:45:49.040 left them and now they're you know living in their in their own filth of the you know the fallout from

00:45:55.840 the divorce dealing with all that so not fun not fun yeah okay love you to death alone excited for me

00:46:06.160 mapo dofu and you lucked out my dad requested white rice my dad's visiting with this with his girlfriend

00:46:13.440 good so he has good taste were you hoping they didn't

00:46:23.360 i mean white rice has a lower glycemic index if you refrigerate it overnight first so

00:46:28.560 that's why i typically cook yours ahead of time this is just going to be you know straight up that's

00:46:32.880 fine it's fine it's fine again you and i have consumed very different information on metabolic health

00:46:39.280 people keep saying oh do do it do a health episode talk about your health regimen someone

00:46:44.240 just today on x was like oh maybe you should do an episode on the effects of of sugar because i've

00:46:49.040 just discovered how how bad it is and how much it affected my childhood moods and now i've gone off it

00:46:53.680 i'm like dude you don't want to hear melcom talk about no no my diet is called the radical diet okay

00:47:00.400 you are as radical as the foods you eat and by radical he means like 1990s kool-aid oh yeah i mean

00:47:07.440 i mean if it doesn't turn you in to like mercury it's not bleeding

00:47:14.960 doing something wrong yeah you need you need okay this is what children need they need fruit roll-ups

00:47:21.680 they need gushers they need dunkaroos they need capri sun they need squeeze-its which don't exist

00:47:29.040 anymore so now what what would these be like kool-aid like pop tops you need erase my country too the

00:47:35.920 most out of control radical place the world had ever seen slam zone

00:47:42.640 your country was called slam zone the united republic of slam zone in title totality

00:47:47.920 the only thing that still makes sense to me is a nice ice cold capri sun

00:47:58.240 i'm not really in the mood for a capri sun here you go drink up sorry friend but you know what i do

00:48:03.040 know what's that i know another ice cold capri sun would really hit the spot i don't want another one

00:48:08.000 i don't want the first one you gotta hydrate yourself drink up oh no you oh my gosh all of this

00:48:13.280 stuff the the more industrial it is the more radical it is i learned this from commercials

00:48:21.120 and if you eat enough of it like a capri sun commercial eventually you will turn into a

00:48:26.880 horrifying metallic blob that can fly around yeah and and and do cool stuff right like i forgot about

00:48:35.680 this yeah drink your kool-aid and the kool-aid man will burst into your home and debris will get in

00:48:43.040 his yeah it was like sympathetic magic false advertising but it worked like they understood

00:48:48.000 that there's this inherent subconscious human belief in sympathetic magic and they're like okay so if we

00:48:54.240 serve the capri sun in in a in a foil package the children will believe that if they drink from the foil

00:49:03.840 package they will become metallic foil so let's advertise coming at you capri sun by the pitcher

00:49:15.120 so whenever you want you can make as much as you want all natural capri sun drink mix

00:49:23.760 if you ate a swan birthday cake simone i did no i i 100 believed in sympathetic magic yeah at my preschool

00:49:30.080 you got to choose what kind of beautiful cake our mormon preschool teacher would serve may she rest in

00:49:37.440 peace she's one of the most wonderful women in the world and i would always ask for a swan because i

00:49:42.560 thought it would turn me into a swan i just want to be grateful graceful i'm not graceful oh you're

00:49:49.520 very graceful no man i'm i'm the i'm the ugly duckling i never made it to my swan face are you done

00:49:55.360 you see me waddle around the house even when i'm not pregnant sure you are an exceptionally graceful

00:50:05.600 woman so you look sweet to me but no no no this is all this is all true and everybody thinks oh you

00:50:10.800 know i uh i want to live i don't want i don't want to live forever i don't want my kids to live

00:50:14.640 forever that's not the point right like okay the truth of it whatever like you're not your health

00:50:20.160 regiment is burn bright and die young yes i i the point is to be the guy from blade runner

00:50:27.120 you know the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long your point isn't living forever

00:50:32.880 it's to have a bunch of kids and live till you're 60 because after you're 40 basically your life is

00:50:38.720 only about helping your kids at that point right like you're not gonna have that many more kids after

00:50:43.040 that point right so guys this is why you haven't had the the health advice episode this is why you

00:50:48.720 haven't had the health because my health advice is stop worrying about dying don't be such a

00:50:54.240 pussy man okay i don't i don't mind i i know seriously like it's a good day to die when you

00:51:00.000 know the reason why it's it doesn't matter as long as i've set my kids up and people can be like oh well

00:51:05.920 that fruit roll up is gonna kill you at a young not at that young an age i'll be fine by the time my

00:51:11.600 kids are set up okay i hope so i'm gonna secretly make you healthy and keep you alive that's the thing

00:51:16.880 right is i will feed you white rice but normally i'm able to impart interventions that reduce the

00:51:24.240 glycemic load or i i throw in additional things to add a health factor i i force you to take vitamins

00:51:32.160 and supplements i force you to get the dexa scan you just had yesterday to get biannual mris to check

00:51:38.960 for cancer that i mean i'm like this this this person who's trying to like murder themselves

00:51:45.600 yeah you're like yeah it's it's like with our kids like they're just walking around like trying

00:51:49.680 to kill themselves and i'm like like just quietly like taking away the knife taking away now that you

00:51:55.920 make a lot of my meals you know you're in charge of my health as well right like even when i eat

00:52:01.200 i eat very little that you don't make anymore it's true yeah so in the end you're ending up eating

00:52:06.960 like whole foods minimally processed and you don't even know it you think you think you're

00:52:11.440 on the radical diet because you have like two fruit roll-ups you steal from the kids on a weekend

00:52:15.840 but in the end that's the truth of it though i do i have like two fruit roll-ups that's my actual

00:52:19.600 radical load yeah my radical load is low which is sad oh no you're not dying fast enough what are we

00:52:26.960 going to do we need to get some gushers that's but i can't because they're too expensive you're lucky

00:52:31.440 those are the ones that look like crystals though do those look like crystals yeah the little

00:52:35.200 crystal looking ones if we titan would lose it you know how she is about mine crystals

00:52:40.880 mine crystals mine crystals the octopus the tommy knockers are gonna take my we told her there's

00:52:47.360 tommy knockers in local mines and all my kids are always talking about the tommy knockers we don't

00:52:51.200 want them to go in the mines you know so but the witch lives in the swamp and the tommy knockers live

00:52:55.600 in the mines and uh and i told them the tommy knockers because the mines are flooded have

00:52:59.760 tentacles and look kind of like octopus yeah so now she's now she's just confused she's talking

00:53:06.080 about tent ankles and tommy knockers octopuses stealing her crystal she's not afraid of the tommy

00:53:13.840 knockers because she knows that she will win every fight she enters and she does well no torson's the

00:53:18.080 finisher after much torment he just ends he ends the fight back her down with his ipad yeah of course i

00:53:26.000 never pay for that for my kids it's like a tablet that's like 80 bucks but yeah well that's what he

00:53:30.320 gets in trouble for he doesn't get in trouble for smacking her he gets in trouble for potentially

00:53:33.760 breaking a tablet all right i'll let you get down get started i'm sorry i've kept you this long you

00:53:39.600 are a beautiful woman and it's important to remember that even when you're training your wife

00:53:44.560 that like a dog you can tend to you to give her little treats because if you don't

00:53:50.880 she was that's such a stupid face you look like a tim burton character

00:53:56.880 why did i marry you a monster a monster oh god yeah little treats you will you get me popcorn

00:54:05.680 which is that's what i do yeah i try to anticipate what you want around the house

00:54:10.560 but yeah have a great day guys remember it's about chaining your wife to a radiator and whipping

00:54:16.480 her until she submits that and you're a cuck if you are a passport bro apparently so most passport

00:54:24.000 bros end up cucks and if if you want to if you want a hot wife apparently

00:54:30.720 that's it's hard but the thing is you started as like a progressive and the reason you switched is

00:54:35.200 because we talked through our values we talked through what we wanted to achieve but also like

00:54:39.200 yeah you you did the thing where you just like any good investor you buy an undervalued product

00:54:45.680 that you know you can fix up that's what private equity is all about that is what i found you yeah

00:54:51.760 i wasn't i mean i looked i looked older then than i do now weirdly and at least i think so from like

00:54:58.560 i think so too yeah and you also had only a gw degree and a pretty shitty job yeah so like yeah i

00:55:05.920 yeah i mean i i hear what you're saying like when you it i was gonna say buy when you buy a mail order

00:55:13.360 bride essentially you are buying someone at their peak value like it's it's like the really stupid

00:55:20.560 private equity buyers or like people who buy flipped houses and like everything is at its maximum like

00:55:26.400 barely held together with tape like you know yeah i agree like you know the pipes aren't even connected

00:55:32.480 everything looks really good and everything goes downhill from there whereas what malcolm bought was

00:55:38.240 like an old house it was a wreck and he invested a lot in fixing it up but now the value is paying

00:55:43.920 dividends like it's a rental property that then you can rent out and not that you're by the way

00:55:48.800 get down and make me food okay bye malcolm i love you by the way love you she only started making food

00:55:56.400 recently like this year by the way just so people know before that i was actually a better cook than i

00:56:00.960 am but i not with every type of cooking i'm better with spices and you're better with cooking techniques

00:56:08.240 after thousands of hours of watching food channels i know all the things all right off i go getting to the

00:56:16.160 kitchen annoying what's the sigh about are we on the right sides oh let me make sure i was trying to

00:56:24.800 find this i was trying to find the scene from the show pushing daisies which is a super simone show

00:56:32.080 that you would hate but there was this one episode and each episode was about like solving some kind of

00:56:37.520 murder mystery and this one episode featured actually a a character i think a widowed woman named simone

00:56:44.880 hunden so her name was simone but she she had a dog clicker and she trained dogs but throughout the

00:56:50.720 episode she she actually ends up training one of the it's subconsciously training one of the defect

00:56:55.200 the detectives so like he like perks up every time he hears the click and he doesn't realize that he's

00:57:00.880 been like brainwashed by simone and trained by her like a dog you should get a dog clicker we actually

00:57:08.160 have dog clickers sitting around the house we stopped using them because professor just gets in line

00:57:13.040 she's a smart dog she doesn't need a clicker yeah she doesn't need a clicker she does pretty well

00:57:17.200 with all the commands we really need yeah except for get out of the house once she's in no no she

00:57:22.720 listens to me now she knows i'm the alpha oh okay so clearly i've done a terrible job training my wife

00:57:29.600 because no i'm not you're just too nice you're too nice to professor well one you don't give her as much

00:57:37.040 food as i do and two you're not as strict when she's a naughty sausage so but yeah yeah i wonder

00:57:47.520 i wonder how many couples actually use dog clickers on each other or spray bottles that would be great

00:57:53.760 to spray bottle to the face did you ever we had a spray bottle for my cat pumpkin when i was a kid

00:57:59.520 you did it worked yeah should we do that with the kids instead of bop spray bottles

00:58:04.400 i bet that worked pretty well for kids honestly we need to try this why have we not tried i have a

00:58:12.880 i have a hair i have a hairspray i'm gonna try this out you should try it out the next time one of the

00:58:17.440 kids like starts whining about something just walk up and be just oh my god they were they're gonna act

00:58:23.520 like it's acid they're gonna act like they are no they are gonna i promise you if we develop this

00:58:29.040 as like a parenting technique when our kids are older and they're writing their memoirs they're gonna be

00:58:33.440 like you don't understand it spray bottles were the much higher punishment than bops bops were a low

00:58:40.560 tier punishment compared to spray bottles that's when you knew you really messed up yeah i'm just

00:58:46.240 glad we don't resort to emotional emotional blackmail and and cold shouldering and the silent treatment

00:58:54.400 but see this is stuff that you have to train out of your wife this is the stuff that is actually toxic

00:58:59.840 which is funny but yeah i'll i'll let you get into it i was gonna ask steven minka if they wanted

00:59:07.440 brown rice or white rice with the mapu dofu are you gonna be super mad if they say brown rice

00:59:12.560 nope you can have brown rice and i can always microwave i can re-steam white rice for you if

00:59:19.280 that's all right sure i don't care whatever you want it okay hold on i mean your brown rice is

00:59:25.520 disgusting it's so healthy if food's not radical it doesn't go in my body but that is my health

00:59:32.240 advice for people that means fruit roll-ups and capri sun is is what i am made out of

00:59:38.640 tonight comma would you like brown rice or white rice question mark

00:59:46.320 the one thing we don't really have for tonight to go with the mapu dofu is any form of vegetable

00:59:50.400 because i've never had vegetables served with mapu dofu so if you want any veg or salad

00:59:55.760 comma now would be a great time to pick it up question not question exclamation mark my god

01:00:00.960 indy please stop throwing things off your your your thing don't throw that okay you're not gonna

01:00:10.160 throw it right thank you indy you already made a very big mess okay

01:00:28.960 i don't want to hey torsten you're pretty cool you look super tired do you like your food

01:00:41.520 yeah but he doesn't want it titan what are you watching titan what are you watching

01:00:49.440 i'm watching blaze why do you like blaze i'll get you more milk my princess oh we're out of this

01:00:58.960 literally oh this is your more milk you silly one there's milk here that's in this milk cup

Based Camp - August 06, 2025

How I Trained My Wife

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