Based Camp - How To Find a Wife In A Fallen World

00:00:00.000 Yeah. And I'd also love to talk, I think like tactically, I think people would find it

00:00:04.060 interesting, the things you did to make your high throughput screening scale.

00:00:09.780 So really important thing to remember is every interaction with an individual you might marry

00:00:14.040 can be thought of as a roll of the dice, which has a probability that they are going to be

00:00:20.360 interested in you and interested in choosing you as a product on the market, right? And

00:00:24.960 that probability can be influenced by two things, either by increasing the probability that every

00:00:29.940 individual partner you interact with would be interested in marrying you or increase the

00:00:35.100 number of people you're interacting with. Both of those would end in the same percentage

00:00:39.200 probability that you find a wife. So one of the biggest things is just really, really high

00:00:45.700 throughput. But now we're going to talk about finding wife as a sales strategy, because I think 0.98

00:00:49.740 this is the core way to conceptualize it. Would you like to know more?

00:00:53.560 Hello, Malcolm.

00:00:57.520 Hello, Simone. So we recorded a secret video, because when I put it into Claude, it was like,

00:01:05.320 oh, no, no, no, you, I cannot even talk about this video. I cannot share this video. It was on how to

00:01:11.680 get people to sleep with you. But the key, you know, setup or intro for this video is the way that you

00:01:19.760 perfect getting people to sleep with you, specifically women. So we're going to talk about 0.99

00:01:22.820 this from the context of men. It will develop one strategy in the same way that, and that strategy

00:01:29.760 will not be the ideal strategy for finding the type of person that you're going to marry. And yet it is

00:01:35.960 the mechanism that many men use to attempt to find that person. This is the same way that many women 0.99

00:01:40.760 get confused. They go out on dating markets, and they think that their value on the sex market is their

00:01:47.020 value on the marriage market. And it is not right. In other words, they think that like, if an eight

00:01:52.640 will sleep with them, then they should be able to marry an eight when really a lazy eight just wanted 1.00

00:01:57.300 to sleep with them a three or four because they didn't want to bother trying to get someone harder

00:02:02.100 to get.

00:02:02.800 But the point here being is that these two markets are different. They're not just different for

00:02:06.360 girls. They're also different for guys. Totally. And the strategies that they get women to sleep 1.00

00:02:11.220 with you, they can still get women to marry you. But the type of women you want to sleep with, 1.00

00:02:15.940 let's put it this way. They're typically the type of woman who's going to be more promiscuous. 1.00

00:02:19.640 They're typically the type of woman that you can like pick up at a bar. They are not the type of 1.00

00:02:23.900 woman that you want to raise your kids, that you want to. And this is a, you know, a post that I saw 0.97

00:02:29.000 recently. It's one I could not agree with you. You look at parenting books and they go, look, if these

00:02:33.940 books were honest, what they would actually be as books targeted at single guys. And if they were a 10

00:02:38.680 chapter book, nine of the chapters would be focused on how to get a good wife. Because who you matter, 1.00

00:02:44.100 both genetically and parenting style and the general environment and vibe of the house that

00:02:50.380 the kids grow up in matters so much more than any parenting strategy you could conceivably implement.

00:02:57.800 Who you marry is everything. If you, you know, make a point and you're like, okay, I am going to

00:03:04.240 make a sacrifice on her being a little narcissistic. Well, now your kids are going to be a little 0.99

00:03:08.100 narcissistic and they're going to grow up in an environment ruled by a narcissist,

00:03:11.820 which will make their lives harder. Right? And so when you are out there and you have developed

00:03:16.980 a strategy, a strategy that gets women who you didn't know before that night to sleep with you 0.98

00:03:22.500 is going to intrinsically target thoughts, you know, T-H-O-T's, right? Like individuals who will 1.00

00:03:29.320 sleep with a guy because they believe that guy is just so arousing in the moment that they're just

00:03:33.280 going to go out and sleep with them. And yet the type of woman who you, I think most of our viewers 1.00

00:03:38.740 would want to marry would never sleep with a guy in a scenario like that. So of course,

00:03:44.380 if you implement these strategies, you're going to get these horrible, 0.90

00:03:48.220 untrustworthy vipers of women that the MGTOW community has a waltz, right? It's not a waltz. 1.00

00:03:54.580 It's like a guy's out fishing, right? And you say, he's like, this pond only has catfish in it.

00:04:00.260 And it's like, well, you're using a catfish lure. Like, of course you're only catching catfish.

00:04:04.680 Um, so anyway, let's go into how to actually secure a high quality wife. And one day we might 1.00

00:04:10.720 be able to, maybe we'll do it on the subreddit or something like that. Release the, the evil video

00:04:15.180 that Claude thought was too effective at getting people to sleep with you. But anyway, all right.

00:04:20.460 So, so first I think we should go into the context of what Simone and I were doing and how much effort

00:04:27.380 we were putting in when we found each other. Cause I think the biggest thing that people don't do

00:04:30.560 is they do not put in the effort. So Simone, do you want to talk about what you were doing

00:04:35.480 at the time? Yeah. I created a competitive dating game in my office where we each got points that

00:04:41.940 we put on a whiteboard for like, got someone to go on a date with you date that lasted longer than

00:04:47.820 four hours for space, like, et cetera. Like just to, just to make it fun and competitive. And then I

00:04:53.220 also had a scoring system to determine if someone was worth a second date, 10 points for five questions.

00:04:59.060 So total of zero to 50 points. First question, how excited were you to see them? Second, how excited

00:05:04.900 were you, or pleased were you by any physical contact? Like could be shaking hands, could be

00:05:09.140 making out. Third, how much did you enjoy conversation with them? Fourth, how much do you

00:05:13.340 want to see them again? And fifth, how much do you think they want to see you? I also created a

00:05:17.440 keyword stuffed OkCupid profile. And at the time, a really easy way to get people to see your profile

00:05:22.680 aside from just spamming them with messages, which I totally did, which was also a great thing to do as a

00:05:26.800 girl, because no one messages guys, was to sit and answer weird questions and like have those end up in

00:05:33.160 other people's feed, like as they're on the app, because then they would comment on that and like come to

00:05:36.940 my profile. So basically I had like an SEO optimized per dating apps strategy, and then a bunch of scoring

00:05:42.700 systems and personal motivation systems to get me on as many dates as possible. And you were doing something

00:05:47.160 similarly aggressive.

00:05:48.420 You were thinking of it almost like a company, like, like you would be marketing a startup or something, you know?

00:05:52.260 So it wasn't about personal indulgence. It was, this is my goal with this account. Here is how I'm

00:05:59.920 going to optimize for the outcome of this goal. Like, and I think that that was really clever for

00:06:05.200 me. I was doing what I called it at the time, high throughput screening. So in biology, if you've

00:06:11.020 ever seen things where you have like just hundreds of vials and you have a machine that's going like

00:06:14.280 could junk, could junk, could junk on like tons of vials, what it's doing is something called high

00:06:18.060 throughput screening often, where it has an antigen, like a single thing, like a bacteria or something.

00:06:21.860 And it's trying to find something that binds to this. It's trying to find a thing that binds it

00:06:25.640 to just puts it in the presence of hundreds of thousands of millions of different variations of

00:06:31.660 chemicals until one thing binds with it, right? You're trying to get this perfect binding site.

00:06:36.100 And that's sort of what I was doing, which is to say, you know, I was going out there and I was

00:06:41.320 doing at least, I had a rule for myself, at least five dates a week. And I'd been doing that for,

00:06:46.020 I don't know, three, four years at that point. You know, I tell a person, you're going to need to do

00:06:49.900 this likely for at least two years to, to find a wife. And this means that some days you're going

00:06:54.600 to have to go on like three dates a day. You're going to have to expand the circle. You're going

00:06:58.100 to need to be willing to dive three hours to a date and three hours back. You know, if you want

00:07:02.140 to really have a big pool, you know, you need to be aggressive and expansive and you may even need

00:07:07.220 to choose where you're living based on finding a spouse at the time that you're doing it. This is not

00:07:12.380 like people are like, well, that's hard. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard to find a really good wife. 0.98

00:07:15.980 You have to work your absolute butt off to do it. And you need to willing to be compromised.

00:07:21.880 Even with all of that, Simone didn't meet many of the metrics of the things I was looking for

00:07:25.720 in a wife. I wanted a woman who was an heiress. You know, that was something that I was really

00:07:29.820 looking for in wife. It's the easiest way to make money, you know, Simone. But when I saw her work 1.00

00:07:35.820 ethic, I also wanted somebody from like an elite university, right? When I saw her work ethic, 1.00

00:07:40.080 I was like, well, I guess I can get you into a good university and you can make money. So, and you did,

00:07:44.940 you know, you ended up getting into Cambridge not long after we got engaged. And I, but I knew that

00:07:49.680 that was going to happen, right? You know, I, I had something that I wanted. And so it's important

00:07:54.600 to know what are the things that a person could or might want to change about themselves or aspire to

00:07:59.440 versus what's just set in stone and a woman isn't going to change or man isn't going to change when 1.00

00:08:03.280 you're looking for them. So really important thing to remember is every interaction with an individual

00:08:07.640 you might marry can be thought of as sort of a roll of the dice, which has a probability that they are

00:08:14.740 going to be interested in you and interested in sort of choosing you as a product on the market.

00:08:18.640 Right. And that probability can be influenced by two things. So let's say like your probability of

00:08:24.400 finding a wife at the end of the day can be influenced by two things. And with every wife, 0.65

00:08:28.120 you're going to have some, every potential wife, you're going to have some set probability of them 0.92

00:08:31.000 being interested in you. You can think of this as sort of your score on a one to 10 ratio in terms of

00:08:36.520 your acceptability of a husband. The, the two ways that you win, this is either by increasing the

00:08:41.380 probability that every individual partner you interact with would be interested in marrying you

00:08:45.500 or increase the number of people you're interacting with. Both of those would end in the same percentage

00:08:51.480 probability that you find a wife. So one of the biggest things is just really, really high

00:08:58.000 throughput. But now we're going to talk about finding wife as a sales strategy, because I think 0.98

00:09:02.020 this is the core way to conceptualize it. So if I, because I've built sales departments for companies,

00:09:07.500 so I know how this works. So if I'm building on a sales department, so how do I think of it? So

00:09:11.900 first you have your leads. Like these are the contacts that salespeople are calling. And often

00:09:16.380 you will give like a salesperson, you have one team that comes up with list of leads,

00:09:19.900 and then they give that team that you can sort of work as a sales team. You can be one that is

00:09:24.320 trying to hit the maximum amount of leads possible, or you can increase the quality of the lead.

00:09:30.380 And this means that you're essentially pre-vetting a lead, right? And this is where you're sourcing

00:09:35.800 your partners, right? So the place that you source partners in a way pre-screens that pool of

00:09:42.240 partners. You know, as I said to Simone on our first date, which she often mentions, as I said,

00:09:45.700 well, I'm probably not going to marry you because I'm about to start a team for business school where

00:09:48.700 there's a large pool of pre-vetted marriage candidates. And I literally meant that. These

00:09:52.920 women have been pre-vetted for many of the things that I was looking for in a wife. So that was a very 1.00

00:09:59.720 high quality lead pool. The important thing when you are out there looking for a wife or a husband

00:10:06.700 is to find very large pools of pre-vetted candidates. And specifically, like if you want

00:10:14.960 to do an additional thing that leans things in your favor, pre-vetted candidates, well, you will have

00:10:19.960 an arbitrage within that community. An arbitrage meaning that in it, when people are looking for

00:10:26.140 a wife or a husband, you can think of it like being out on the market, like to like buy a fish

00:10:30.920 or something like that, right? Or to go to a grocery store. Actually, I will say a market for

00:10:35.580 buying fish. Not everybody likes the same types of fish, right? And what I am willing to pay for

00:10:40.320 one species of fish might be a lot more than another person because that species of fish is more to my

00:10:46.180 taste than it is to the general market or it is to somebody specific. There are some fish that might go

00:10:51.860 for a lot that I just have no interest in at all. Now you can explicitly target environments where

00:10:59.000 you have these arbitrage plays or where you know women or men that you like, that the general public

00:11:06.560 doesn't like may be in larger numbers. So like if you go to like, I guess like a chubby chasers thing,

00:11:13.140 right? Like if you're really into like fat women, the general public is less into fat women. 0.98

00:11:17.640 And because of that, if you are sourcing women in an environment where there's lots of fat women, 1.00

00:11:24.000 you are going to find women where you are a better candidate than most of the people who are 0.66

00:11:29.720 interested in them. And you can potentially source better potential partners. Or if it's an

00:11:34.540 environment where, you know, women really respect intelligence or might be more likely to care that 1.00

00:11:39.380 you're intelligent, you know, you're going to perform better in those environments than you would in

00:11:42.840 like a bar or something like that. So that's really important to care about. So this is first stage of

00:11:47.540 the sales process. You've got to have a either large pools of candidates that you're going through

00:11:52.680 like at scale or pre-vetted pools of candidates. The ideal thing you want is many large pools of

00:12:00.220 pre-vetted candidates where you have some sort of arbitrage advantage. Then within the sales cycle,

00:12:07.180 the single biggest mistake that salespeople make is they spend too long on a lead that isn't going to

00:12:13.780 close. There are people who, when you are making the sale, who will talk to you, even if they really

00:12:20.340 have no intention of ever buying. And this is true for dating. You need to typically end a relationship

00:12:27.640 by the second or third date. If it is clear that you're either not going to want to marry them,

00:12:31.920 or there is some sort of like reason that like, you can't get married. Like they don't want to have

00:12:36.280 kids or something like that. Like you want to be betting all of these things super quickly.

00:12:40.560 And it can even make sense. And this is very different than when you're dating for sex

00:12:44.820 to, to act or reveal things about you, act in a way or reveal things about you that would screen

00:12:51.020 out intrinsically most women, but not the woman who you would actually want to marry. So on the first 0.90

00:12:57.420 date, you know, I'm going and it's the one that tells us, I told her first date, I want to get

00:13:01.020 married. We're going to do that. I was like, I am out here looking for a wife. And most women would be 1.00

00:13:05.980 like, oh, that's creepy that you would say that on a first date. But to the type of woman, 0.97

00:13:09.520 I would want to marry, that wouldn't be creepy. And what that did is I didn't waste second dates

00:13:14.540 with those women who thought that was creepy. Yes. That vetted out a large percentage of women,

00:13:19.380 but it was a very useful vetting tool because that was part of my time that I wasn't wasting

00:13:25.100 on a second date, but I was instead wasting on, or not wasting, but utilizing on more for first dates.

00:13:33.180 Yeah. And I'd also love to talk, I think like tactically, I think people would find it

00:13:37.380 interesting. The things you did to make your high throughput screening scale. And this is not

00:13:43.700 something we've ever really talked about before, but I think a lot of people, when we tell people,

00:13:48.260 yeah, it's a numbers game, they always are like, okay, fine. Like I'll try to date once a week. And

00:13:52.460 we're like, no, no, no. Malcolm would date every weeknight and then double up on weekends. And I

00:13:57.180 think people are like, you know what? That's not sustainable. Like I cannot do that. I will not do that.

00:14:01.460 But you did, and you did a lot of things to make it work. So for example, when you were in university,

00:14:07.340 I think you first discovered that if you frequently ate at a restaurant, they would give you special

00:14:11.420 deals. Was that Indian restaurant in St. Andrews? Yes. I love that. Sorry. Something I want to say

00:14:16.600 before we go further with this particular chain of logic is within these first dates, what do you talk

00:14:22.800 about, right? What you should always be talking about is what you want your future to be and what they

00:14:28.120 want their future to be. That is the most important thing you need to know when you're vetting a

00:14:32.760 potential wife. So don't go talking about freaking hobbies and stuff like that, or what's the weather

00:14:38.000 is or what movie you recently watched or what you think of X. No, it's, it's, it's every one of these

00:14:43.260 topics. And this was true of our first conversation, right? I was like, Simone, what do you want to be

00:14:45.940 doing in 10 years? What do you want to be doing in 20 years? How many kids do you want to have?

00:14:49.600 You know, I was very interested in, in, in your future because then I could understand if that was

00:14:55.500 compatible with my future and people who don't like to think about the future, it also helped

00:14:59.220 bet them out of the potential pipeline. But, but that was something that was very important for

00:15:03.660 our compatibility. So yes, you were talking about the restaurants. One thing I would do is I would

00:15:07.340 take women to the same restaurants over and over and over again. Like all the dates I would do, I'd do 0.99

00:15:10.820 the same restaurant because I get to know the restaurant really well. I would tip well and they

00:15:14.660 treat me really well. And so this made me look really good to the women who went like, you noticed this

00:15:19.040 when I took you to a restaurant, you were like, oh, all of the staff here seems to know you. And it's like, yes,

00:15:23.880 because this is part of my routine, but then I would do other things. One of the things I would do is so

00:15:29.740 you can buy uncut or even cut gyms, but like unlaid gyms sort of in very large quantities, you know,

00:15:37.240 certain types of sapphires, amethysts, stuff like that at very reasonable prices, you know, 40, $50 per gym.

00:15:44.880 And then you can take these gyms and fairly early in the dating process. Now you really should not be getting

00:15:51.320 to a third or fourth date unless you think it's an incredibly high probability you're going to marry

00:15:55.120 the person. Like they really pass a lot of your wedding. And so you get to that stage with the

00:15:59.820 woman and you can offer her on the date, like do a, oh, I would do a, like a pick a hand thing 1.00

00:16:05.840 sometimes. And in one hand I'd have a rose and in the other hand I'd have a gemstone. And then after

00:16:11.000 giving them whichever one I would give them, I would, I would give them the other as well. So I'd be

00:16:14.240 like, you know, these are obviously best for you. And this would be like on a night walk through town,

00:16:18.920 you know, and this was all part of a routine. Like he'd done. Yeah. But again, like having

00:16:24.440 these little tropes, but all like little moves that women find very charming, like very meaningful.

00:16:28.340 Right. So they found it very charming, but it was the type of thing that the woman I'd want to marry 0.97

00:16:32.480 would find charming. And it's the type of thing that would make her feel like, oh, this guy's

00:16:38.340 really invested in me. He'd given me something that no one else has given me. But the point of giving

00:16:43.040 an unlaid gym to them is it makes them think, oh, this would go amazing in a wedding ring one day.

00:16:48.300 This would go amazing in an engagement ring one day, because the fact that it's not in a ring yet

00:16:54.800 brings that to mind. And now they're holding onto it. And now they're putting it somewhere special

00:17:00.840 thinking about that. So you're beginning to lay these ideas in their mind while also providing

00:17:07.040 hooks for them to talk about these ideas with you. Many women, when I do this, they would talk about 1.00

00:17:11.480 that as a concept, you know, and that allows us to talk about, well, okay, if we were to get married,

00:17:15.320 logistics, planning, family, what would we do? You know, and it is very, very important that you

00:17:20.380 screen out people where even if you really like them, you are just, for whatever reason,

00:17:25.640 not long-term compatible. Like maybe they, what do they want to do as their family when their family's

00:17:30.520 old? Like, are they planning to have them live with you? You know, like that's the type of thing

00:17:34.500 that matters. It matters to bet for.

00:17:36.480 So another thing that you would do to make dates more affordable is make a picnic. So you would

00:17:43.660 either get like really expensive, like store-bought pre-prepped meals, which obviously is way less

00:17:48.080 expensive than a restaurant meal with tips and everything. And then you would take your date

00:17:52.480 to a special place, either something really scenic or something both scenic and kind of against the

00:17:58.540 rules to make it.

00:17:59.800 Yeah. So that was really key to break rules on these early dates. You know, there's a famous

00:18:03.720 experiment of the bridge, right? Where you, it basically a woman or a man was on a bridge

00:18:11.880 at the top of a bridge and they would, they would get survey responses from somebody and

00:18:15.200 then give the person their number afterwards. And some of these bridges were dangerous and

00:18:19.060 very high. And some of these bridges were very safe. The people who did this at the

00:18:22.260 dangerous bridge would end up getting many, many more callbacks. And the idea here being

00:18:26.640 that if you, but also it frames you as somebody who's sort of like, I think most people want

00:18:31.680 a partner in crime, right? So you can do little break in college. My typical place to break into

00:18:36.940 was this castle on campus. And we would break in and we would do in the ruins of the castle and have

00:18:43.520 a little picnic together at night under the stars. And it worked very well with me and you. It was,

00:18:49.860 do you want to talk about the place who I would break into at that stage?

00:18:53.580 Yeah, there was right across from the restaurant that was his go-to restaurant was a Four Seasons

00:18:58.600 hotel that had some like office hallways just for its administrative offices.

00:19:04.980 And you would take women dates there after dinner.

00:19:10.600 So if you went down the central stairwell in this Four Seasons in the center of San Francisco,

00:19:13.960 I'm not sure this isn't the case anymore, but some people are like, oh my God, that was my office.

00:19:17.120 That's why it was weird every day. You could, if you tried the doors on the stairwell, which of

00:19:22.020 course I love exploring. So I would go and I would try like urban exploring and stuff like that. I'd try

00:19:25.760 these doors. One of them was always unlocked and it went into an office. Now your perception is it

00:19:29.900 was the Four Seasons office. I think it might've just been a typical corporate office that was in

00:19:33.880 the same building because it didn't have Four Seasons. Like I just think that would have flyers

00:19:38.160 and stuff. I think it was just a corporate office, but it was always open. So I could go and hang out

00:19:42.140 at night in this office. In a hallway, to be clear, just a hallway. No, no, no. We go into the office.

00:19:50.300 You don't remember the office? We didn't go into an office. We just got the hallway.

00:19:54.440 Oh yeah. You didn't get the full experience then. I'm sorry, Simone. You were just so easy

00:20:00.940 that I didn't even make it to the office. Sorry. You were so alluring that I didn't make it to the

00:20:10.020 office. To be clear, she'd never kissed anyone. She was a virgin when I met her. She'd actually 0.87

00:20:15.140 kissed one person before this, but one person, but she wasn't actually easy. She was just very

00:20:20.240 interested in me specifically. Sorry. You're giving this look like you're goofed. Anyway,

00:20:27.940 so that was one thing I do because it built this bond with the person and it sort of heightened

00:20:33.020 the bond. When you are willing to break rules with a person, one, you're often more likely to go over

00:20:38.740 your own personal barriers to like moving the relationship faster than you otherwise might be

00:20:44.280 willing to, but also it felt very like. It felt forbidden and risky and exciting and memorable,

00:20:50.660 but for you, it was very low stakes and rote and safe and inexpensive. So it was an, it was a way to

00:20:57.180 make a date memorable and exciting in an affordable and not actually risky way. Yeah. And another thing I

00:21:03.780 do is, you know, learn to cook cooking for a woman, you know, in one of these early dates can be really 1.00

00:21:08.800 good and very inexpensive if you get really good at it, which is something that, you know,

00:21:13.640 I've done little cooking videos on this channel. I should do more of those. They're fun to do with

00:21:17.640 the family, but I really like cooking as Simone could tell you, but yeah, that was a really key

00:21:22.580 thing. What else? Oh, I'm trying to think. Oh, here was a key thing I would always talk about on date

00:21:35.540 too. Oh, it's a very useful thing. I'd say, what do you want from life? So one, we're talking about

00:21:40.720 the future, right? But what do you need to get there? Like, what do you not have? Like, what's

00:21:45.760 your plan for getting there? And can we workshop a better plan or find a faster way to get you there?

00:21:49.940 Or what are you looking for? Now one, it allows me to see where I'm of utility to them, because if

00:21:53.740 you're of utility to somebody outside of just dating and sex, then they're going to be more

00:21:58.200 interested in you. But two, it allowed me to see how they reacted to the offer of like, okay,

00:22:05.120 here's how you can get there faster. Here's how I can help you. Most people, and this really

00:22:09.880 surprises me, but it's true. If you talk to them about what they want from their life, and then

00:22:14.180 you're like, okay, here's how I can help you achieve that. They actually don't really follow

00:22:17.720 up with it. They don't aggressively follow up with it. They're not. And it makes it clear to me that

00:22:22.420 they're not actually interested in achieving these things. This is like a vision of what they might want

00:22:26.400 from life, but it's not something that they are actively every day working towards. The type of

00:22:31.720 person who's like, okay, this strategy might work. This strategy might work. And then acts on those

00:22:37.580 strategies. That's the type of person I would want to marry. And that's the type of person you were.

00:22:42.400 You immediately acted on all of the strategies I laid out for you. And that reminds me of another

00:22:47.760 thing that you do to vet people, which is you had a subscription. No, you didn't have, you had

00:22:53.180 purchased a bunch of college courses from the teaching company, AKA the great courses,

00:22:58.500 which is now Wondrium. Yeah. So now you can get a subscription to Wondrium, but you would offer

00:23:04.380 people those lectures and then you would see if they actually were intellectually curious enough

00:23:10.640 to use them. And that was a lot. I mean, at least it costs like $500 per series. I mean,

00:23:15.780 you're buying like 24, 48 hours of like lectures. So I mean, yeah, but like it was, I think that's,

00:23:19.980 that's interesting as, as a vetting mechanism and also as a gift, like for, for someone who shares

00:23:25.640 your values, it's a really big gift. So it, it increases your social capital with someone that

00:23:31.260 you'd really care about. It also helps you weed up people who don't share that with you. And I think

00:23:36.620 that's really important. If you have some kind of value or thing that's really important to you

00:23:40.220 and that person doesn't like take up the lure, if you drop it, then you know, they're not going to be

00:23:45.920 good. Well, you can tell me educate myself. I really like to be well-read. I really, you know,

00:23:52.680 see myself as like a smart person or whatever. And then you drop, you're like, okay, here's 24

00:23:56.500 hours of lectures on a topic you said you cared about. Are you going to watch them? Are you going

00:24:00.240 to listen to them? Very few people actually did that. You were one of the only ones who was like

00:24:04.420 going through hundreds of hours of lectures. As soon as I would get them to be done with them in like

00:24:09.020 four days. And I think it just shows that it's very easy to signal that you're interested in one

00:24:14.840 thing on a date, but not actually be that type of person or not actually be interested in that

00:24:18.640 thing. And yet, you know, you and me as real life individuals, we can test, we can test what an

00:24:25.400 individual actually cares about by looking at what they actually engage with when dropped in front of

00:24:29.680 them. Yeah. And I think there are differences here. So one way of vetting that we've heard other

00:24:34.360 people do is they'll be like, Hey, do you want to go on this trip with me? Like, Oh, I'm outdoorsy.

00:24:39.640 Would you like to go on a rafting trip with me? And then the partner's like, yes, of course.

00:24:44.700 And they like grin and bear it, right? Like they get through it to get you. That's very different

00:24:50.760 from being like, Hey, here's this thing I have, you know, if you'd like it, like, go ahead. You

00:24:55.780 know, like there, I think that won't be seen as, as transparently by many prospective partners as a

00:25:01.840 test. So like, you know, I don't know, like there's no outdoors equivalent that I can think of, but like,

00:25:07.080 I don't know, like here's, here's a subscription access to all national parks, just in case you ever

00:25:11.660 want to go to one. And like, if the, if the prospective partner like doesn't go on a single

00:25:16.260 camping trip with that thing, you give them like kind of probably a sign that they're not actually

00:25:20.380 outdoorsy, but I do like that part of your vetting involved things not done with you at the

00:25:27.120 same time. Yeah. And I think another really core thing, and we mentioned this before, but I just

00:25:31.000 want to mention it because it's one of the single most important things about finding a high quality

00:25:33.760 wife is not wasting time with people. You're not going to marry. This means you're wanting to date 1.00

00:25:40.440 with a hot woman. She wants to sleep with you. She wants to sleep with you all the time. Now 1.00

00:25:44.840 sex is great, but it's clear. You're never going to marry her ghost, not ghost her. Like obviously be 0.99

00:25:49.400 nice and tell her like, I'm not interested and, and, and break up amicably because she might be a 1.00

00:25:53.880 source of a potential person who you would marry, but do not allow that distract you. You cannot be

00:25:59.520 distracted by things like sex and status signals when you are looking for a wife. That is absolutely

00:26:06.700 key. And you cannot allow things like that to, to blind you. You know, many of the highest quality

00:26:12.380 women are not going to be interested in sleeping with you anytime early in the dating process. 1.00

00:26:18.240 And that is something that a lot of guys, because they're using strategies that they develop

00:26:23.200 naturally, it makes perfect sense. You develop a strategy for getting girls to sleep with you 0.98

00:26:27.700 for getting girlfriends. And of course you're going to apply that to finding a wife. Of course you

00:26:32.480 naturally would because our society tells us that those two things are the same type of a thing.

00:26:37.500 Like one is like the kid version of doing this adult thing. It is not, it is a different thing.

00:26:43.080 It is completely different mechanisms. It is completely different ways of, of, of doing it and

00:26:47.800 being, even if you're being skeezy when doing it, if you're doing it effectively, you're doing it in

00:26:51.700 different ways. But anyway, the final thing I might talk about here is a bit about lures.

00:26:58.660 When a person is in a relationship with you, and we talked about this about with the catfish analogy,

00:27:04.120 there are different things you can offer them to get them interested in a long-term relationship with

00:27:10.300 you. Right. And one, what you're typically offering as a lure when you're out there,

00:27:16.200 just getting women to sleep with you is I am sexually attractive, but you should want to sleep 1.00

00:27:20.340 with me. Right. But probably the worst conceivable lure when you're looking for a wife. Another one 0.99

00:27:25.060 that often is used when you're getting people to sleep with you is I am like you. If you sleep with

00:27:30.940 me, it would be very low cost to you because you know, I'm attractive enough. I'm also quiet enough

00:27:36.140 with in our friend circles. And this can be like a low cost thing for you to get to experiment in

00:27:41.640 some way you want to experiment. Like this is really often useful when people are very inexperienced as

00:27:45.120 a litter. And it was one of the lures that I often did best because I would sleep with lots and lots

00:27:49.260 of virgins back when I did. In the video that we can't post, I mentioned when I stopped counting how

00:27:53.720 many people I'd slept with, which was at around a hundred, 35 of them or so were virgins. So like 0.99

00:27:58.260 about a third of them were virgins. And that was because I was using a lure that really,

00:28:01.700 really worked with virgins, which was just being like a really high trust, nice person.

00:28:05.240 But it's a bit more complicated than that as we go into it in the video. And that's probably why

00:28:09.040 Claude thought it was so naughty. But anyway, other lures that you can use are ones like I fit

00:28:15.800 like your cultural stereotype of a good husband or good wife, which is often a very bad lure to use

00:28:21.100 because if you're doing that, then you are only useful to them so long as you fit that stereotype

00:28:26.320 and they are interested in you insofar as you augment their vision often to their friends or of

00:28:31.720 themselves, which is, it can be okay, but it's usually not great. Another one that is,

00:28:37.720 is typically really bad is I make you happy. You make me happy. Right. Because then it's so easy

00:28:43.600 to end up at cross purposes there because something that makes me happy will often be my partner

00:28:47.000 unhappy. Right. Another one, which is really great is, oh, I want to work towards this end goal and we

00:28:51.960 can work towards it together. Right. Like that's a really strong lure that can lead to really good

00:28:56.280 relationships, you know, especially if you're like working in an industry together or something like

00:28:59.980 that. Right. Because then you, you have a reason to work together. You have aligned incentives often

00:29:04.040 because you're sort of creating this sort of family company or corporate structure that you're using to

00:29:07.780 achieve this. The one that we use is the one that I, or that I use that I would suggest most,

00:29:12.340 I call the Pygmalion lure, which is to say, I can help you be the person that you want to be.

00:29:18.060 And, and that lure, it leads to really, really strong relationships. The place that it most often fails

00:29:24.360 is if the person, like typically with the Pygmalion lure, typically one person is starting in a more

00:29:28.840 dominant position. Like they're helping the other person achieve their dreams. But if that other

00:29:32.560 person, it can too easily become the damsel in distress lure, where like you're interested in

00:29:36.860 the person only because they're so amazed by all the nice things you're able to do for them that

00:29:40.360 they can't achieve in their daily life. And that's a really bad lure because then they begin to

00:29:45.020 normalize to those things and they begin to get jaded by those things and they begin to not

00:29:49.860 appreciate you. The Pygmalion lure is quite different. It's this is what you want to achieve with your

00:29:53.860 life. I can help you achieve these things. The place where it fails is once the person has achieved

00:29:57.680 those things, once they become your equal often, are you then able to allow them to shape you?

00:30:02.960 Are you humble enough to allow that? Or are you so arrogant that you were really only interested

00:30:07.720 in being a guide to somebody else instead of a Pygmalion team where both of you is shaping the

00:30:12.600 other person to constantly improve sort of to be your red queen? When I say the red queen, 0.98

00:30:17.040 the red queen, the hypothesis theory is often used in evolution, but it's talking about a scene in

00:30:21.360 Alice in Wonderland where they are talking about an individual running as fast as they can,

00:30:26.080 but they're measuring their improvement based on how they're doing in competition with the red

00:30:33.440 queen who's running just as fast as they are at all times. So they're never really improving because 1.00

00:30:38.620 they're running, they're racing with somebody who's always constantly racing alongside them. And this is

00:30:43.000 how like predator and prey and evolution is like about how predator and preys evolve alongside each

00:30:46.840 other. But in a marriage, it can be a cycle of self-improvement where your self-improvement is most

00:30:53.000 inspired by the person who you originally helped sort of get off the ground, but pushed forwards

00:30:59.080 by that, you know, this, and some people wouldn't want that. Some people, you know, as we would say,

00:31:02.940 it was in our relationship, the single most toxic thing would be somebody who'd say, I'm happy with

00:31:06.820 you the way you are. I love you the way you are. You know, I love you for who you can be, who you have

00:31:11.100 the possibility of becoming when you've become so much already that in many ways, I love you for who you

00:31:16.600 are today. But I think I'd stop loving you if you stopped trying to improve yourself.

00:31:22.780 Or stop daily improving yourself.

00:31:25.640 Yeah, best kind of marriage, for sure. I mean, truly best kind of friendship, best kind of work

00:31:31.080 relationship. I don't think there's any kind of relationship that isn't best as a Pygmalion

00:31:36.240 relationship. I mean, the more people you have in the world who help you become the best version of the person

00:31:41.500 you want to be, the better. Which means the worst kind of friend you can have, the truest betrayal

00:31:47.060 a friend can ever tell you is I love you as you are. For who you are. You're good enough as you are

00:31:51.700 today. The worst. Well, thank God we don't accept each other for who we are. No, God. Disgusting. 0.98

00:32:04.400 Humanity is wretched. We can never be anything worthy, but we can at least strive for it. 0.99

00:32:08.760 But yeah. So let's do that. That would be nice. I love you so much. I really do. I put in a lot

00:32:14.700 of work. I got exactly what I deserved in life. That's what I would say. And I think you did too.

00:32:18.780 You know, I think some people are like, I don't deserve, I do fucking deserve a wife like you. 0.98

00:32:22.260 You're a great wife and I've worked for a great wife. Yeah. You deserve this marriage because you 1.00

00:32:26.600 worked your ass off for it. So, yep. And I had the foresight to start working for it early enough,

00:32:32.660 giving up many things that other people would have. College parties, college networking,

00:32:36.280 stuff like that, you know? And you had the good luck of parents who really taught you how

00:32:40.240 important marriage was too. Yeah. So my mom told me and, and I was, you know, I was like,

00:32:44.940 oh, college, this is the most important thing in my life. I really have to get into a good one.

00:32:49.280 I spent my entire middle school and high school working to get into the best college possible.

00:32:52.780 So like from that perspective, it was just dude, college matters. Nothing compared to who you marry,

00:32:57.660 who you marry as everything. And one of the things that I put in the easiest way to get wealthy,

00:33:02.420 but also it matters to how smart you are. Somebody recently was asking me, they go, oh, Malcolm,

00:33:06.100 like how are you so educated about such a diversity of topics? And I think many people would assume

00:33:10.820 like that's something that happens in college. No, it's my wife. It's my wife because that's what 1.00

00:33:14.440 she's talking to me about every single day. How educated you are as like a 40 year old or 30

00:33:19.980 something year old is going to predominantly be determined by who you marry.

00:33:25.380 Yeah. I do think that's really interesting that, that people can end up in like really brain

00:33:29.420 dead loops or really, really a lot of growth depending on who they marry. It's underrated.

00:33:37.160 I'm just so, so, so grateful that the world rewards hard work sometimes, not every time.

00:33:44.260 Some people might work as hard as they can, but you know, due to some genetic reason, like maybe

00:33:47.540 they're short, you know, they, they can't get a, the, the woman they would want. And that's, 1.00

00:33:51.800 that's fucking tragic. It's tragic, but you know, in, in, in nature, lions kill animals, 0.99

00:33:59.300 bears eat deer while they're still alive. You know, nature is tragic and horrifying. And

00:34:05.660 unfortunately, or that's the world we live in, you know, and I'm sorry for that.

00:34:12.420 True story. Yeah. I love you a lot and I'm glad we have what we have.

00:34:17.560 True story. Oh,Ty.

00:34:18.440 True story.

00:34:18.940 True story.

00:34:19.120 True story.

00:34:20.520 True.

00:34:20.960 True story.

00:34:21.020 True story.

00:34:21.580 True story.

00:34:22.100 True story.

00:34:22.340 True story.

00:34:23.000 True story.

00:34:26.740 True story.

Based Camp - September 20, 2023

How To Find a Wife In A Fallen World

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