Based Camp - May 30, 2024


Hurkle-Durkle, Tradwives, and Hikikomori for White Women: Exploring Internet Subculture with Suzy Weiss


Episode Stats

Length

33 minutes

Words per Minute

190.7705

Word Count

6,482

Sentence Count

539

Misogynist Sentences

42

Hate Speech Sentences

35


Summary

In this episode, we're joined by writer Susie Weiss from The Free Press to talk about a new kind of self-care culture called "Tradwives" and how they're like MLMs, but for men.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Yeah. There's also like this weird way that medieval debunked science is being repackaged
00:00:05.860 in the wellness world. Gomori, for those who don't know, are mostly men in Japan who are
00:00:09.800 shut-ins. They don't leave their room for years, sometimes at a time. Their parents bring them
00:00:15.220 food. They play video games. They're totally addicted to their screens. Japan is 10 years
00:00:18.980 ahead of us and everything. Fast food tastes like food enough, but it's not food. And video
00:00:25.220 games feel like problem solving and engaging, but it's really not doing those things. And he
00:00:29.560 described it as this slack noose around his neck where he technically forgot all of the
00:00:35.040 things fulfilled. He was talking to people. He was eating. He was alive in the world, but
00:00:40.320 at this really not at, what's the word I'm looking for? Like not at the level of actually
00:00:46.580 living, but not enough that he would go and change it. Like it wasn't dire enough.
00:00:50.780 Would you like to know more?
00:00:52.400 Hi everyone. We are so excited to have our favorite writer on the podcast, Susie Weiss.
00:00:57.960 She's with the Free Press. You can find her on Twitter slash X at
00:01:01.460 Snoozy Weiss. And she has written some amazing pieces. We first discovered her through this
00:01:08.720 mind-blowing article on Spoonies. But more recently, she wrote about a different type of
00:01:14.520 kind of self-care culture that we thought would be really fun to discuss today. Particularly referring
00:01:19.400 to Hercule Durgle as a trending term, but also like that rot and quiet quitting show up in the
00:01:25.560 article as well. Yeah. We'd love to talk about this with you because there's so much going on here.
00:01:30.840 We're really going to, we're going to get into Trad Wives. We're going to get, everyone should
00:01:34.180 buckle up for a ride through the internet. You had this great quote in there. Didn't you say
00:01:39.420 something like Trad Wives are the girl bosses of the home or something? Trad Wives are the girl bosses
00:01:43.360 of the, they're not different. They are. They're just villainized women. 100%.
00:01:47.040 We're trying to get what they want, which is, I thought what we all want, but I guess not.
00:01:51.460 Yeah. Well, they're having it all. They're having it all in the home. Yeah.
00:01:54.080 If you get what you want. Well, it's so interesting the way that society is so politicized that every
00:02:01.920 subculture has a team. And depending on what team you are in, that subculture is either an evil
00:02:09.140 or good subculture from the perspective of each team. Yeah. The Hustlers versus the Quiet Quitters
00:02:15.180 and the Trad Wives versus the Soft Girls. And yeah, there has to be this. Yeah. It's actually
00:02:20.780 almost odd when there are un-teamified subcultures, like MLMs. MLMs isn't explicitly a right or left
00:02:26.260 thing. But if I think box shipping, when you were talking about Hustlers, I'm like, oh, those are
00:02:31.200 right-wing nut jobs. That's what people would say about them, right? Dropshipping? Yeah. Dropshipping.
00:02:35.420 Yeah. Dropshipping. There's like a whole dropshipping culture. Like Andrew Tate's in,
00:02:38.920 university really fights for dropshipping, right? Yeah. They might, but a lot of things like that
00:02:44.200 do. So it's very similar to MLMism. So, okay. Obviously you have MLMs, which predominantly
00:02:49.180 target women, but the ones that target men are typically not monetized through the traditional
00:02:56.060 MLM model. It's more like a guru monetizes through very expensive courses. And then they try to target
00:03:03.520 teaching people like actually how to start a company. But if you're going to teach at scale,
00:03:08.800 how to start a company, there's really only a few companies that work on that model.
00:03:12.780 Dropshipping is one of them. Actually doing lectures yourself.
00:03:15.220 Oh, is dropshipping like MLM for men?
00:03:18.420 Yes.
00:03:20.060 Wait, I need this.
00:03:22.000 I have to read about this. I'm so excited.
00:03:25.380 Oh, did you?
00:03:26.160 It's like raw milk and it's like anti-vax. It's the middle of the horseshoe and you're,
00:03:30.020 you could, it's the Rorschach test. Like whatever you get it.
00:03:32.100 But it's not as abusive as MLM because you can genuinely make a lot of money doing it if you do
00:03:36.860 it right. But it is like MLM in that it forms like these cults of personality. And yeah.
00:03:44.200 And the whole vocabulary around it. Like the vocabulary around, hey girl, hey. Hey babe.
00:03:49.500 Yes.
00:03:49.800 I love that.
00:03:50.680 Oh my God. Hey hon.
00:03:52.500 Yeah hon.
00:03:53.140 Okay. Let's go into, do you want to start with Hercule Durkul or Tradwise?
00:03:56.840 Can you, yeah. Define Hercule Durkul for our sage audience that probably has never heard
00:04:00.860 this term before.
00:04:01.700 Yes. Cause your audience is smart and reads books and I've never read a book, but Hercule
00:04:05.980 Durkul is this 18th century Scottish term. And we could get into the whole like trend industrial
00:04:12.320 complex, but basically it's like an update to bed rotting, which is an update to, I think
00:04:18.360 Heige, which is that there's, there's this Heige or Heige. It's like the, it's like a Nordic
00:04:24.160 Swedish word for getting cozy. And then there was like another term for staying in on a Friday
00:04:30.080 night during like Norwegian winters, but it's like this umbrella term. It falls under self
00:04:36.820 care, but Hercule Durkul is just apparently this Scottish phrase from the 18th century
00:04:41.160 that means staying in bed longer than you should. But of course, when you combine that with the
00:04:46.200 internet and the algorithm, it turns into this rallying cry for people not to feel bad
00:04:51.860 about pickling under their duvet cover all day and Hercule Durkul, which is stay in bed,
00:04:57.220 but of course means stay on your phone and allow a stream of garbage to go directly into your
00:05:02.420 eyeballs and hold still while TikTok infiltrates your brain.
00:05:06.060 So this actually reminds me of one of my favorite misinterpretations of a historic context. So
00:05:11.280 people on the show know we're very into like religious systems and stuff like that. And we were
00:05:15.580 talking with a friend of ours and they're like, Oh, we were like, how's your diet going? And they're
00:05:20.840 like, Oh, I came up with this amazing new diet system. That's based on ancient Eastern philosophy.
00:05:26.200 And I was like, Oh no, what do you think? I had like, I knew things were better.
00:05:30.900 No, no. They're like, well, I learned about this concept called Wu Wei. Are you familiar with Wu Wei?
00:05:36.300 Okay. So it's a fairly complicated concept. It is where you are elevating an aesthetic reaction to
00:05:45.180 your environment, to a moral status. It's often described as like in a river moving with the
00:05:52.220 water to get to your destination. It's like if you've read anything by the Church of the Subgenius,
00:05:58.520 it strikes me as like their concept of slack, which is very similar to the concept of slack.
00:06:03.140 But through a sort of natural elegance where you're not fighting against nature and society and
00:06:11.620 everything. Instead, you are like an Aikido using your enemy's opponent against them, or at least in
00:06:17.940 your favor. So, but she heard of this concept. That was just a diet. Yeah. No, what she thought it
00:06:23.700 meant is eat whatever you want, whenever you feel like it. Yeah. Just, yeah. Just don't try to do
00:06:31.940 anything. Just eat whatever you want. And then she immediately started eating a ton of junk food.
00:06:36.500 And she didn't wait. Yeah. Okay. But it's the same with these Herkel-Durkel and concepts like
00:06:41.480 this. It's people are trying to elevate base hedonism to a moral system of superiority over other
00:06:49.880 individuals, which is really interesting. Yeah. There's also like this weird way that medieval
00:06:55.200 debunked science is being repackaged in the wellness world. So I have a friend who gave birth
00:07:01.080 and, or my friend was talking to her friend who gave birth and she had this little midwife who
00:07:04.660 was like essentially trying to balance her four humors. Oh no. And it was after a little bit of
00:07:09.340 questioning, it was like, wait, what's the thing with the phlegm? What are, but this was like the
00:07:13.080 new age thing. But anyway, yes, it is like a misused Scottish concept. I don't know if Scottish people
00:07:21.040 stayed in bed really late in the 18th century. I assume if they did, it was because they had just
00:07:25.220 gotten back from like a land war. So I don't know. Well, I don't know. I've read some books
00:07:30.220 from England and they do say the Scots were lazy people. I can also see though, like it was only
00:07:35.900 used in a derogatory fashion, like a mother or a wife being like, you can't Herkel-Durkel all day,
00:07:41.640 that kind of thing. Totally. There is like a Yidditch, like the sound of it matches what it is,
00:07:47.120 like an onomatopoeia or something. I appreciate, but this, the Herkel-Durkel at this point,
00:07:52.100 it's old news online, but he's in line with the trend. Before you go further, one thing I want
00:07:57.820 to elevate here, which I think is really interesting, is essentially people are rediscovering
00:08:02.580 old forms of hedonism, then building sort of an aesthetic theology around them. And by this,
00:08:09.380 what I mean is in a modern context, default hedonism is status hedonism, i.e. it's go on trips
00:08:16.620 so that you can take pictures and show how much better you are than everyone else. It's hedonism tied
00:08:21.600 to affirmation from peer groups. Promiscuity. Or data seeking, yeah. Whereas in a traditional
00:08:27.760 context, Herkel-Durkel hedonism is just searching out pleasure, which can often be achieved fairly
00:08:34.940 inexpensively in an individual's life. And I do think that there is some value in at least
00:08:41.020 recognizing this as an individual, as I pointed out on previous podcasts, actually maxing out
00:08:46.760 individual hedonism stats when you disassociate from affirmation. It's pretty easy. Once you learn
00:08:52.520 to cook for yourself, you can make easily four or five-tier star chef meals that are perfectly
00:09:01.140 optimized for your taste buds, that have access to spices that people fought and died over
00:09:06.040 historically. It's so easy. There are four apps you can download to make your life like you would
00:09:13.040 be like Genghis Khan level pleasure. You know what I mean? You can order sex, you can order the groceries,
00:09:19.180 you can order the most gorgeous linen sheets. I mean, you don't have to leave your house and you're
00:09:23.420 like assaulted. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favorites was one of my very wealthy friends complained about
00:09:29.180 being wealthy in this era. We've mentioned this on another show because he's like, I just can't get
00:09:33.180 anything that middle-class people couldn't get. Like he's, I used to be able to what call a restaurant
00:09:38.260 and have them deliver food to my house. Now what Uber like eats does that for everyone. I used to have
00:09:44.220 access to foods that other people don't have access to. I don't have that anymore. I used to be able to
00:09:49.860 on demand have servants. Now everyone basically has TaskRabbit. I used to like, what do I have? I had
00:09:57.400 access to maybe a band that can come play for me, but now everyone has music players.
00:10:02.200 Yeah. It's like the most gorgeous, like high fidelity systems. Yeah. Like flatness and
00:10:06.700 convenience culture has in this weird way, turned us all into Kings while spiritually impoverishing
00:10:12.640 us all. So you might as well stay in bed. The one thing that's interesting to me is in the article,
00:10:17.360 you to point out that a lot of this is potentially in, in a backlash or contrast to hustle culture and
00:10:25.580 this feeling like it's a combination of response to girl boss and hustle culture and try fight,
00:10:31.060 fight. And then this realization that we're not necessarily going to get boomer level rewards for
00:10:39.460 the work we do. It's okay. Having it all was a lie. So in response, I will do nothing.
00:10:44.780 I will have nothing and do nothing. Yeah. Weird reaction.
00:10:48.740 Do you think that this was a reaction or do you think that they just happened to be at the same time
00:10:53.940 and people reacting the, like in different ways to the same thing? And do you notice any patterns
00:11:00.440 between the types of influencers or people online who go for one answer or another?
00:11:05.740 I think there's a few ways this happened to take your question in parts. I think a big part of this
00:11:12.320 and what I get into in the article is that this is the logical conclusion of self-care culture.
00:11:15.940 I do think like the era of wellness is ending. It's, I don't know, like yoga pants don't count
00:11:21.260 as clothes anymore, which like I'm happy about, but self-care as it became like kind of mass produced,
00:11:29.700 commercialized, whatever you want to call it, began to just mean anything. It meant going to
00:11:34.040 yoga class. It meant skipping the yoga class and watching TV. It meant spending a lot of money on
00:11:38.680 food. It meant making your own food at home and making sure there were no seed oils in it.
00:11:41.860 It meant going to a protest. It meant hanging out with your friend. It just is a word that means
00:11:45.920 nothing. And so like the end part of it is just, I will be sedentary and do nothing. And that is
00:11:52.860 also self-care. I will do nothing for myself as opposed to, I guess the ideal of self-care is I
00:11:57.940 will curate this beautiful life. So I see it, like what Malcolm said, it's an update on an ancient
00:12:04.660 form of hedonism, but I also see it as like the death rattle of wellness culture. And we're going to
00:12:09.980 enter into whatever's coming next. I forget the other part of your question. Oh, the types of
00:12:14.780 influencers who do it. Yeah. Who, how does this sort? Because I, there, there's still a lot of
00:12:20.240 people who are heavy hustle and there's still a lot of people who are heavy soft life.
00:12:25.680 Yeah. I think, I don't know if it falls into a type. I think this is something that was interesting
00:12:32.400 is I keep getting fed all of these like Christian influencers and Christian podcasters.
00:12:36.720 I don't know why they're really weird and interesting, but they were a few Christian
00:12:41.880 girls on a podcast talking about how, when you want to go out and you, and when you made plans
00:12:47.740 to go out and you don't want to go out and you're really tempted to cancel the plans. This is like
00:12:52.100 an annoying meme online. Oh, nothing like sex is great. But if you ever canceled plans at the last
00:12:56.980 minute or whatever, and these girls framed it as the devil was telling you to cancel the plans.
00:13:02.080 And maybe if you went out, that was like, God had something in store for you. Maybe you were
00:13:07.840 going to meet your husband that day or whatever. I think, while I think that is like a weird way to
00:13:13.380 frame it. And I don't think there's like a demon who's stay in bed. So comfy cozy. There is something
00:13:19.520 a little bit like feeding into this base impulse of staying in bed and like going out will like lead
00:13:27.560 to more activity. I think it shows the value of these old religious systems. This is something
00:13:34.060 we're always installing on this podcast. I'm like, many of these religious systems actually had utility
00:13:38.180 to them. And here you're seeing that utility in action. They have created a framing that prevents
00:13:44.820 them from falling into these. And I should be clear, this form of hedonism creates a spiral,
00:13:50.500 which makes your life worse. Where I would have a different hypothesis. I don't not think we're at
00:13:57.580 the end of wellness culture. I think we're at a transformational moment in wellness culture
00:14:01.900 where, and you mentioned this in the article, as I remember, is that this is reminiscent of
00:14:07.640 hikikomori culture in Japan. And that what we might be seeing is an evolution of a form of American
00:14:14.280 hikikomoridom, which I can see becoming incredibly popular among gen alpha.
00:14:22.320 Hikikomori, for those who don't know, are mostly men in Japan who are shut-ins. They don't leave
00:14:26.500 their room for years, sometimes at a time. Their parents bring them food. They play video games.
00:14:31.960 They're totally addicted to their screens. Japan is 10 years ahead of us in everything.
00:14:35.440 Yeah. Infertility class and everything. Yeah. And I think that we will get a form of American
00:14:40.000 hikikomoridom. And I think what will lead it in reference to our last talk about Spoonies
00:14:46.120 is an elevation of agoraphobia as a thing of status within certain elements of online culture.
00:14:55.780 And they will then feel emotionally rewarded and affirmed for leading in to their agoraphobia,
00:15:06.300 which will elevate the actual amount of agoraphobia they're feeling, which makes it much easier to end
00:15:12.280 up locked in your house for 10 years. And we've got an entire generation that started their lives
00:15:17.240 in COVID and stuff like that. First job, stuff like that. So they got started on the tracks of
00:15:23.720 staying inside all the time. And then they built their friend networks on Discord. They're getting
00:15:28.800 their needs fulfilled and they desperately now need to justify why they're making these decisions,
00:15:35.840 that are clearly against their best interest. And now there's communities that affirm that,
00:15:40.160 like the antinatalists and the effilists. Right.
00:15:42.300 They say, actually, you're doing a good thing by doing nothing with your life and being a drain on
00:15:47.520 society so long as you don't contribute to keeping that society going.
00:15:51.080 There's a few things I want to pick up on. One is you talked about getting your needs fulfilled.
00:15:54.920 I interviewed an incel for a story about the, for the 10th year anniversary of Tinder,
00:15:59.900 who described, yeah, it was, he was in England. He was really interesting. And he described how,
00:16:04.040 like fast food tastes like food enough, but it's not food and video games feel like problem solving
00:16:09.820 and engaging, but it's really not doing those things. And he described it as this slack noose
00:16:14.960 around his neck where he technically forgot all of the things fulfilled. He was talking to people,
00:16:20.480 he was eating, he was alive in the world, but at this really not at, what's the word I'm looking for?
00:16:26.720 Like not at the level of, of actually living, but not enough that he would go and change it.
00:16:32.080 Like it wasn't dire enough. And I thought that was really interesting.
00:16:35.620 It's like he's living in a simulated version of a human life.
00:16:39.600 Right.
00:16:40.140 We have created the things that we need. We don't need to go in VR to live a simulated life. We can
00:16:46.880 already have simulated love, simulated accomplishments, simulated adventures, and simulated food.
00:16:53.180 But I would argue that is VR. That is like a virtual, it's not reality.
00:16:56.860 Yeah. Yeah, that is. Yeah. When we, I think the mistake we made, and this is something I realized
00:17:01.940 about when I first met Malcolm, he just assumed that all this would become a big issue when brain
00:17:05.940 computer interface was a thing. Like when we were like literally plugged in, but somehow like with
00:17:11.500 just dumb screens and laptops and computers, like we are there already fully integrated.
00:17:18.240 And that's what you keep bringing up, which I think is really interesting. These ancient concepts
00:17:21.860 like Wu Wei or, and people trying to bring those into the modern era where it's, wait,
00:17:26.580 it doesn't work when the food is like hyper palatable and extra salty. And similarly with
00:17:31.360 Hercule Durkul, I'm Jewish. We have Shabbat. You're, you are not allowed to work. You must rest.
00:17:36.200 So I think people would be like, oh, that's like Hercule Durkul. And it's like, no, if you're living
00:17:39.680 like a Jewish life, you are working in such a way where you need the rest. And Shabbat actually isn't
00:17:45.700 about isolating yourself. You're made to convene with your community, with your family, have meals
00:17:51.200 together. So I think people take these ancient concepts and use them to justify this like
00:17:56.360 ultimately pleasure seeking attitude. And it's like a lot of fasting more or less. There's so many
00:18:02.560 things you can't do. Right. Exactly. Oh, that's crazy. Well, now get into the trad wives part of this
00:18:10.480 conversation. Oh yeah. So, so, ah, trad wives. I'm, are you a trad wife, Simone? Is that?
00:18:18.920 We call her a trad wife in some of the video titles to get clicks because she looks like one,
00:18:23.600 but I don't think you are one by most traditional. Well, so a lot of people call what we do.
00:18:27.340 I don't know. I cook the meals and I clean inside. Technotrad. Technotrad or Neotrad?
00:18:32.060 Yeah. Technotrad. Or Radtrad. Radtrad. Radtrad's kind of rad.
00:18:36.480 Well, we'll see what they converge on as a name for it, but it's not overly trad. Like we're right
00:18:42.120 now really excited about these AI toys we're getting for our kids so that they have somebody
00:18:45.800 smart to talk with, but we're going to put them in their old toys and reprogram them to think that
00:18:50.480 they are the kid's old teddy bear. But now they have an imaginary, that's not trad in a traditional
00:18:55.900 context, but then you dress like a medieval peasant. Yeah. Talk about trad wives. Cause we,
00:19:01.300 we talk about this a lot on the show as well. I don't think it's a holistically positive trend.
00:19:06.120 I know that you would frame it as such, but I think one of the big problems with trad wives
00:19:10.180 is women begin to define the aesthetic of trad wife as the reason, as the heuristic they use
00:19:17.880 to make decisions and judge whether or not they're living a good life. And that's a very bad, they're
00:19:22.480 like, yes, my husband may not be happy with the decisions I'm making, but I am following this
00:19:27.780 aesthetic correctly. Therefore I am a good wife or a good partner. Right.
00:19:33.460 I think we also, we have gripes with the way that many people define trad wifery and that
00:19:37.840 we think that the true trad is the corporate family where everyone works, including the kids
00:19:42.900 and everyone kind of shares the burden. Whereas a lot of people who go to trad wifery, they're
00:19:47.500 working, obviously they're managing a household, but they're doing it in the modern age where we
00:19:51.360 have dishwashers and washing machines. And it's just, it's not the same to just to manage a household
00:19:57.220 and have that be your career. Well, I'd also point out that, that think about this in the
00:20:01.860 eight passengers context, right? With the eight passenger situation, you had a woman who in part
00:20:07.620 identified as a trad wife to an extent, but then because the aesthetic of trad wifery was her moral
00:20:14.380 system, she, because she was a Mormon, but she was not like, this is how it works. This is how it
00:20:20.100 infiltrates religious communities. She identified more as a trad wife than as a Mormon, more as a trad mom
00:20:26.120 than as a Mormon. And because of that. And more of a trad mom influencer.
00:20:30.140 Yeah, right. No, but because of that, when then she's all of, I'm a trad mom, right? And that is
00:20:34.180 what this aesthetic is morality. Where do trad moms compete within the hierarchy in terms of how
00:20:40.520 they're different from non-trad moms? Well, it's how strict they are with their kids, how strict they
00:20:45.420 are about how their kids engage with pornography. Yeah. And then she began to spin like virtue spiral on
00:20:53.280 these particular topics to the point where she ended up committing real and pretty severe abuse
00:20:58.440 of her children. Yes. This was crazy. It was so funny. I was talking about this with my cousins
00:21:01.900 at Shabbat dinner. I think the overall trend of trad wives is just an interesting case study because
00:21:07.600 it's where the theory of feminism of women should be able to do with it, whatever they want crashes in
00:21:13.980 to the feeling like, well, not like that. Let's do whatever you want, but it better look like this.
00:21:19.680 It better not look like that. So it's like these values that are intention of, I need this woman
00:21:26.060 to want agency, but she needs to want it herself. Have you heard of a taken in hand marriage?
00:21:31.000 No, what is that? Okay. Okay. So I've got to point you to this because this could be an interesting
00:21:35.160 story. So taken in hand relationships are a concept. It was in a relationship where the woman
00:21:43.400 is completely, it's basically a 24 seven slave dom relationship, but done within the context of
00:21:53.140 traditionalism and a monogamous marriage, but also understanding the, like it definitely came out
00:21:59.700 of the BDSM community. So people who are familiar with a 24 seven slave relationship, this is when a
00:22:05.480 woman often lives in as a man's in a 24 seven sexual role play scenario. Well, in a taken in hand
00:22:12.120 relationship, they are doing that, but with the aesthetic of a traditional wife. Yeah. So instead
00:22:18.640 of like with Gorian relationships where they were going in this dynamic off of a sci-fi universe,
00:22:23.980 they're going off of like the 1950s aesthetic of traditional marriage. Yes. And where these women
00:22:30.380 want to be spanked when they make mistakes, they want to be like open hand slapped when they say
00:22:36.200 something stupid. And it is interesting to me, this recontextualization of, I think a stereotype
00:22:44.960 of the worst kind of trad wife relationship built into a BDSM relationship for the satisfaction of
00:22:53.420 women. Yeah. It's like feminist, but super not. We just shouldn't have ever gotten the right to vote.
00:22:59.620 Yeah. Everything went wrong. Everything. I want to say women should have the right to vote because
00:23:06.400 like my ancestors fought for that and everything like that. Like they weren't, but then I look at
00:23:10.160 who would be elected to office if women didn't have the right to vote. And I'm like, but functionally
00:23:15.360 the country would be economically healthier and safer. Oh my God. There was that amazing Grimes
00:23:21.520 thing. It's what do you like about the patriarch? He's like Rhodes. Rhodes.
00:23:24.380 Wait, did he say that? She said that. Yeah. It was an interview and she said, I'm into the
00:23:29.320 patriarchy. I really liked the roads. I really liked the infrastructure. It was just fun. Yeah.
00:23:33.820 Are trad wives supporting the patriarchy? Are they subverting the patriarchy because
00:23:38.220 they're choosing it themselves? No, I think that they're subverting it. I think that trad wives are
00:23:43.300 like horrifying. The idea, as Simone pointed out, that there was ever a long period in history where
00:23:50.900 your average wife could afford to not work and spend 24 seven looking after the kids.
00:23:56.380 This is a historical fantasy because people are basing their assumptions about what historical
00:24:01.960 marriages were like based on Hollywood from the 1950s. So there was a short period in American
00:24:08.720 history from about the 1910s to 1970s, where this was an aspirational lifestyle among the common
00:24:17.040 people. But it was never really the norm, except like maybe like right after World War II, when we
00:24:22.580 had that enormous economic explosion in America. And among very wealthy people. But didn't the
00:24:26.600 housewives in the 50s like go berserk and that they started? They basically did, yeah.
00:24:31.260 Yeah. Because they had the washing machine. Yeah. Yeah. So now women are, have tricked guys into
00:24:39.000 thinking they're living this conservative relationship when they're living like, I don't know,
00:24:43.920 like a harem lady would in an old Islamic palace, but without the work, just like the raising of a
00:24:50.000 few kids. And I've seen these women who like stop, I have seen trad wives stop after three kids because
00:24:57.220 they said it was too much work and they had a live in childcare. Well, and we see if you, if you look
00:25:02.280 at stay at home girlfriend videos online. Oh my God. Or stay at home daughters. Yes.
00:25:07.560 I love them. Where it's like they're, and they're not, they may do some laundry. They may clean up
00:25:12.180 dishes and film themselves doing it, but they are also completely, this is my expensive latte that
00:25:19.780 I'm not having. This is me working out. This it's a very indulgent life. So yeah. Yeah. And somehow
00:25:24.840 we've gotten to the place where you're a trad wife. If you make like a Buffalo chicken pizza from scratch,
00:25:29.260 which just feels like beside the point. But anyway, I kind of love that they explode heads. I love that
00:25:36.700 the girl bosses exploded heads. And I think all of these people are in opposition to the self-care
00:25:43.720 regime, whatever we're going to call it. That tells you that the best thing you could do is whatever
00:25:48.380 you are doing for yourself, whatever that means. Do we understand that one of your next pieces is
00:25:53.280 going to be about the next stage, the non-self-care, the self-destruction? Oh, the unwellness
00:25:59.420 influencers? The unwellness influencers? Yes. Yeah. Well, it's not, it's not my piece. I'm editing it. I
00:26:03.260 have a, I don't know if you've read Freya India. She has this great subset.
00:26:06.460 Yeah. And we met her last November. She's super cool. She's so cool. And I was like,
00:26:11.480 I need to bring in the big gun for this one. So she's doing a deep dive into unwellness influencers
00:26:16.420 and, and they're, I guess maybe they're the opposite of trad wives. We need to like,
00:26:20.180 we need some sort of visual chart to chart. I think Ayla is the opposite of a trad wife.
00:26:27.100 Ayla is the opposite of a trad wife. I saw she was getting into it about surrogacy
00:26:30.540 on Twitter today. I was interested in that. You guys, you're pro-surrogacy.
00:26:34.560 Yeah. It's not scalable, but we were like, yeah, go for it.
00:26:37.240 I'm not allowing it. I prefer artificial wombs or xenopregnancies.
00:26:41.420 What's xenopregnancy? Xenopregnancies is using other animals to carry human fetuses,
00:26:46.840 but genetically altering them so that they creating a chimera. So it has a human womb or something.
00:26:51.140 We're more freakish than, yeah, we're more, Ayla's a trad wife.
00:26:54.700 You're like, surrogacy, that's crazy.
00:26:58.600 Surrogacy, what? Come on. That's unsustainable. I can't farm human women,
00:27:03.260 at least legally anymore in the U.S., but I can farm cows and go to the,
00:27:09.180 you wouldn't do it with cows. You do it with a capybara or something like that. That's
00:27:13.100 more closely related to us. I was having a small call about this earlier today about how to make this
00:27:17.680 real, because I'm very excited about the potentiality of the mass production of children.
00:27:23.160 A lot of people are horrified by our, so we are trad wifey to an extent, but we also want to,
00:27:31.060 culturally speaking, win, which I think requires some deviations where trad culture is breaking down,
00:27:38.900 which brings me to a question. Are you going to be a trad wife? And in what ways are you not going
00:27:43.760 to be a trad wife? Oh, that's so, I think anyone who gets married is doing a trad thing.
00:27:48.680 Like, I think there's a big reflex, I think, especially among my contemporaries who are like,
00:27:54.520 I'm getting married, but it's going to be different. And it's, you're wearing a white dress,
00:27:58.260 you're doing the thing, you got a sparkly thing on your finger. That's cool. That's fine. Like,
00:28:02.860 it's okay to want a thing that many other people want. It's annoying to me to reframe it as not that
00:28:09.220 traditional thing. I think every wife is a trad wife. So in that way, yes, I hope to be a trad wife,
00:28:13.960 I bake bread every Shabbat. Oh, no. That's confirmed. You bake bread.
00:28:19.120 I just have to hide my decolletage for my modesty for my husband. But no, I'd like to have a lot of
00:28:25.160 kids, but I also really like to work and write. And I would, everyone wants a life where they could
00:28:30.720 do both. A lifestyle that some of our friends have gone into, which is when it is open to you,
00:28:35.820 so you might consider it, is the, I call it secular Orthodox Judaism, where they are not like
00:28:41.060 theologically that into it, but they follow all the rules really strictly and live.
00:28:45.700 Postmodern Orthodox.
00:28:46.860 Yeah.
00:28:47.820 Yeah. Yeah. I am like been thinking lately more about like communal living, especially all three
00:28:52.740 of my sisters had kids in the last two years. And I see how my middle sisters who live where my
00:28:57.840 parents live in Pittsburgh, or it's just like this kibbutz where it's like in and out and this kid
00:29:02.300 and that kid. And there's just something so incredible about it. Yeah. Maybe one day,
00:29:06.560 maybe I'll be like Simone on the eve of number four. Hopefully. No, I hope, or we'll have our
00:29:13.340 big artificial womb factory and you can just pick one up. Yeah. By the way, we're not close to this
00:29:21.880 technology. I am joking about this for our audiences edification. Don't go off and say
00:29:26.960 they're growing children in their backyard. Yeah. Rodents there. I'm sure there will be this whole
00:29:34.240 status thing of, yeah, well, you grew in a human and humans are gross. Whereas I grew in a super
00:29:38.360 cute capybara. So that's fine. Wait, but I think womb, are womb transplants a thing or not a thing?
00:29:43.680 There, yes, there has been at least the first woman to successfully have a baby after receiving
00:29:49.180 a full uterine transplant has taken place. So there's at least one case of it that like we had
00:29:54.840 a gestationally functional womb transfer, which is something I think about a lot. Cause I'm like
00:29:58.340 terrified. I get my C-section this Thursday and I'm like, I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose
00:30:02.620 it. So if I do lose it, I'm going to be like, can I get a new one? Can I get a new one?
00:30:08.480 Fingers crossed. Remember when the most, the most controversial thing was the death boards?
00:30:13.480 What were they called? Oh yeah. Death panels. Death panels. That was like the craziest thing.
00:30:19.320 And now we're talking about God knows what, who's in line for the first womb transplant,
00:30:23.640 probably the most natalist among us, but yeah, we'll see. It's a weird world. I do think the story of
00:30:29.600 reproduction, breeding, IVF, IVF regret, birth control, getting off birth control,
00:30:36.140 the world of fertility, toxicity, testosterone numbers going down. That is what I'm focused on,
00:30:41.920 I think for this next couple of months. Cause I think it's a really rich subject.
00:30:44.900 You should talk with raw egg nationalist. If you can already do raw egg nationalist.
00:30:49.840 Oh yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I follow him on Twitter. He's really interesting.
00:30:53.560 We can introduce you. He's been on our show before.
00:30:55.720 Yeah. No, he has like a font of great research. He will just send it. He'll email us like here,
00:31:01.340 this study, I think you'll like it. And it, whoa, like he finds really good stuff. So
00:31:04.920 he'll be a great informant. Okay, cool. Cause I, I'm also like raw eggs and like the status of the
00:31:11.040 egg as like the perfect food, the evil food, cholesterol, the white's good egg whites,
00:31:15.100 white, like you can follow what we think of like fertility in a way through the story of how we
00:31:21.900 regard eggs and milk. Yeah. That's good. And like, we're out of the alt milk, soy milk era,
00:31:27.840 which now we're renegade raw milk. Now you're, you guys are on milkers. No one now.
00:31:32.580 No God. No, you're not. Yeah. No, but that's new. I think I got you guys pinned down.
00:31:38.520 No, we are speed running life. A lot of people are like the things you do are really like unhealthy a
00:31:43.740 lot of the time. And it's yeah, but we're not life extensionists or anything. I just want to live
00:31:47.800 long enough to give my kids a good life and get the tasks that I'm working on done.
00:31:51.320 Oh, you're like, get the two gallon whole milk and get in the car. We're going home.
00:31:55.540 You're not doing like the boutique. Let's drive away.
00:31:57.720 No, we go to one of those bulk stores and we just get like BJ's pretty much all our food comes
00:32:02.800 from BJ's and then goes in a chest freezer. But in our district where I'm running for office,
00:32:07.240 there is definitely a big theme about raw, like this farmer tried to sell raw milk and they stopped
00:32:13.820 him. Oh yeah. Cause you're in Pennsylvania with a lot of Amish and Mennonite communities. I'm from
00:32:18.460 Pennsylvania. We have a lot of eggs in our, we have chickens at our house as we gave them out
00:32:23.540 at the last party, but we're not like chicken supremacists. We're chickens as an ascetic. I
00:32:28.820 don't actually think we're making our health that much better by having our own chickens.
00:32:34.000 It helps me deal with the anxiety of the food that the kids always don't eat. Cause then I just
00:32:38.160 feed it to the chickens and then I feed the eggs to the kids and then it just the circle of life.
00:32:41.840 There you go. It's a circle of life.
00:32:43.600 It's good. Yeah, but good. Okay. We're going to make some intros for you. Thank you so much
00:32:47.640 for talking about this. I can't wait for your next article.
00:32:50.120 We would love you to come on. Like every time you do a piece, if you want to come on and talk
00:32:53.380 about it, just let us know. You gave me so many ideas. Dropshipping at the MLM for men is really,
00:32:59.520 that's going to, that's going to be fun for me.
00:33:01.500 Effilism you need to go deep on. That's the one that no one has done. It is so fascinating.
00:33:05.660 What is it?
00:33:06.580 Okay. Effilism. It's life spelled backwards ism. You can look up our effilism for the subreddit on the
00:33:11.980 subject. It is a movement that is an extreme form of antinatalism that wants to erase all
00:33:18.100 life on the planet. So not just get rid of humanity, but ensure that sentient life never
00:33:22.520 evolves again on planet earth. Cause they think that sentient life is an intrinsic evil
00:33:27.060 and it's a pretty big movement now.
00:33:29.880 So it's like pro mass shootings. I would assume.
00:33:32.260 Yeah, kind of. So they're about seven times the size of the pronatalist movement to give you an
00:33:37.500 idea of like size of this movement and they are absolutely insane. And I think that they're going
00:33:43.960 to be an increasingly big thing as pronatalism picks up steam, because then people have to justify how
00:33:51.260 they're not bad people. And so they come up with these moral frameworks, like negative utilitarianism
00:33:56.480 to justify their means.