Based Camp - September 22, 2023Jordan Peterson Vs Us Parenting Strategies
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Summary
In this episode, we discuss the difference between the parenting strategy recommended by Dr. Jordan Peterson and the He's Mine Strategy and the Rodney Atkinson Strategy, and how they differ in how to discipline and discipline children. We also discuss the concept of intergenerational parenting and how it can be applied in the real world.
Transcript
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what you do now with our children is show when their will has crossed a line with your bill
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whereas jordan peterson's strategy is i am going to let my will rule this household and you have
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to bend to my will yeah no no it makes perfect sense and i understand like i i really i get it
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like and i and again i'm saying i actually don't think it's wrong for the type of of families that
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really crave structure i think yeah it's incredibly effective i want to raise kids where the punishment
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for unjust action is how it makes them feel about themselves not an external authority applying that
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punishment because then you enter the real world and you see external authorities not applying
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punishment for bad action you see the zeitgeist in society says this is what's good right because
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look at our society right now the things that rewards the things that cancels right these are
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all the little kids that were taught to obey authority you know and they they go out into
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society and they're looking for what's right and what's wrong and so they look at what is the
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authority punishing what is the authority not punishing the things the authority doesn't
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punish well those must be the right things and the thing the authority does punish those must be the
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wrong things instead of trying to determine those things for themselves and take their own mental
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weight for that would you like to know more hi malcolm hello simone so you read this jordan peterson
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book and we've been talking more about various things that we either agree with or don't agree with in
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it and one of the areas i really want to focus on is parenting strategy we touched on it a bit with
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the eight passengers situation video but i i just find it it's one of these areas where i don't have
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a prescription where i'm not like this is the right way to do it i actually think for different
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genetic sociological clusters which likely are inherited through a family there are different
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strategies so contrast two broad strategies the jordan peterson strategy right which is we'll go into
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it but essentially it's a very controlling strategy that is focused on the adult breaking the child's
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will it's about discipline and structure yes and then the other strategy which is much closer to the
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strategy that our family employs and was employed with both of us when we were growing up i'd call the
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rodney atkins strategy which comes from the he's mine song great country song if you haven't heard it
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but the thesis of what happens in the song is a guy catches a group of teenagers out smoking in a
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field and is is taking them to his dad to to what he thinks is their dad's house right one of their dad's
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house because he saw where they were running and he's he's complaining that these kids won't speak when
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spoken to and they were getting up to mischief uh and the dad's like you know he's mine he's really proud
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of his son for doing all that in a way and he's like if you knew me back then it'd be no surprise
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to you what he's done and then you know other things like the kids at a football game and somebody
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takes a cheap shot at their little kicker and he uh punches the kid and he ends up getting removed
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from the game and you know is obviously being punished and he's like talking about how he jumps up in the
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stadium and shouts he's mine and he's all proud of his son for doing this but it reminds me a lot of
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parenting strategies that my parents uh utilized for me to the extent where i really realized and i
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think also part of the he's mine song that keeps going back to if you understood what i was like
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when i was a kid you would understand one that the same traits that i am nurturing my kid are what
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eventually led me to become successful and what will allow them to become successful one but two that
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any other reaction to this you know again it is showing that it is potentially an intergenerational
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genetic thing would obviously be a a deleterious reaction and i know this from when i was a kid
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so let's go into the well okay so here's an example from my own childhood before we we go into the what
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jordan peterson recommends because i remember i got in trouble once at a school with with one of my
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teachers i i don't remember the specifics of it but it felt very unjust to me at the time and so i
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went to my mom afterwards and i was like oh the teacher said this about what i had done and she
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goes oh you don't need to listen to them and i was like well what do you mean and she goes well i mean
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she's an elementary school teacher she's not exactly in adult society respectable and she's like if
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she had great advice on how to live her life wouldn't become an elementary school teacher
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so what you need to ask yourself is are you proud of the way you acted do you think what you did was
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right and if you didn't then you do need to feel bad you do need to punish yourself but you need to
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understand right from wrong on your own and not have it be what authority figures tell you
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i got into so much trouble in school i was at the principals like every other day
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when i was in school because i was told oh yeah teachers are all losers you can just ignore them
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the goal is don't get caught or don't get expelled because that will have a permanent effect on your
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life but other than that i mean it's up to you what's right and wrong and you should learn that for
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yourself and live by your own moral code which is just wildly different and that you should even take
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pride in defying authority when authority is unjust which is really different so let's talk about the
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the jordan peterson strategy right so can you go into this scene from the book yeah jordan peterson
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describes a couple of scenes and and mostly his his parenting tactics involved basically making it clear
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that he is the alpha of the household and when he says you have to do something you have to do it
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and if you defy him he will essentially wait you out so at one point he waits for like 30 minutes
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while a toddler refuses to eat and doesn't let the toddler leave the table and is basically like you
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don't get to leave the table until you eat and then when he does eat he praises him and says you're a
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very good boy and you know gives him a lot of praise when he does what he wants and then otherwise
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it's just like you don't get to go anywhere he's like a stone wall and what he argues in the book is
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you know i can like for me 30 minutes is 30 minutes for a kid 30 minutes is like forever so you can
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outlast a kid a lot faster that's why he says it's sustainable because apparently he's only been
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around very weak well children no i i can't even imagine so i i know that even if somebody did that
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to me when i was a kid because i did have a few authority figures try things like that when i was a kid
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try these little gambits like that and even if in the moment i might be like okay i'm gonna go along
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with what you say he's under this impression that once he's done this he's broken the kid's will
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and from that point on the kid will listen to him about that thing no no no no no no with me now you
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have created a a a challenge now challenge the gauntlet has been thrown at that gauntlet has been
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thrown i have walked out of that situation fuming and i am going to do literally everything i can
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in my power to challenge you like like like challenge you for dominance because you have shown
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that you're trying to show that like you own my mind right and and i would even as a child like i
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remember people are like oh eventually a kid will get tired of resisting and i'm like
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i would not get tired of resisting if anything a game over time right but jordan peterson and the people
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who his acolytes like parents we've met who really support this view they argue a couple of things so
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let's let's steel man them they argue that children really want to structure children really want
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discipline children really want a strong parent to tell them how things are and then second
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they believe that what they're doing is providing sort of life on training wheels that you know if a
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child does things that are socially unacceptable they won't have any friends so before that even
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happens i'm going to create sort of a microcosm of that in the home so that rather than then just not
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ending up with any friends and learning from life because life is a very strict teacher a cruel
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teacher sometimes i'm going to let them learn this in the home where it's not going to hurt them as
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much to learn it so those are the two things that i've seen argued both in the book and by
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people who are proponents of this approach personally before you give your critique which i'm sure it's
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going to be quite different from mine i would argue both of those things are really important like you
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know making sure that people learn how the real world imposes rules and providing little
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microcosms of that at home i think that is important i think that is valuable i don't think
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that establishing yourself as an arbitrary authority figure is going to do it and second i do think that
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kids want structure and crave structure and crave a strong leader but not a tyrant a leader is someone
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who inspires followers someone who through their own action inspires you to take your own initiative
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and i think that the the true discipline in a household like the true discipline that a parent
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should show in a structure a parent should show is through their own self-discipline and their own
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self-mastery and children copy their parents different than what you're saying right here so
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you right here are saying one thing you're saying two things which one of them is true and the other
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isn't true okay the one that is true is i think the best way for people like us to signal to our kids
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how to be is through self-discipline okay this thing that is not true is the kids crave structure
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i think certain people so what's really important about every one of these people we know of
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everyone who raises their kids this way has admitted that they personally crave structure
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that they personally benefited from highly structured environments at times in their life okay yeah
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they have said that sociological profile of person and this is what i was saying
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who likes to be dominated and this person has kids who like to be mentally dominated
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these are like different subspecies of human yeah no they're basically a different sociological
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subspecies of human and this is why you can't just take one culture and impose it on another cultural
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group these people if you did our style of child rearing with them which is about stoking the child's will
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and having them take personal responsibility for their own failures they they'd find it miserable
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they wouldn't know where to go they'd like like certain people are i don't want to say born to be
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minions but they they really really crave structure in structured environments and there are ways that you
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can be like a great warrior in a structured environment so not all you know structured environment
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tropes a knight for example is is somebody who is living in a structured environment right like
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so not all structured environment tropes are anti-masculine like i don't want you to do
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but well i think that you know from my cultural perspective they still kind of are like you know
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a knight who takes orders from a king is still a little bitch i'm sorry that's just the way my
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culture would see it the knight should take orders only from his own conscience but this is a different
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cultural perspective right and and it would obviously be framed by my own sociological
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predilections so i actually think what you're seeing here is these families are doing what's
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right for their kids because it what it's what's right for them right and so one question parents
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always ask themselves is do you personally create structure if so then a structured child rearing
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strategy may work for your kids if not then a structured child rearing strategy probably won't work
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for your kids and with that said this is also why it's useful to marry someone of a similar or
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aligned sociological persuasion as yourself because you don't know you know if you have a wife who
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really craves structure and a husband who really craves you know being out there uh uh and and and
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building their will and and relying on and this is what you were talking about so when you said
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it's about showing your own mental sort of dominance and restraint and and maturity to your kids what
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you're actually saying there is i take personal responsibility from my own mind yeah and i hope to
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reflect that to my kids um well i and also our kids just copy everything we do but then the second
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thing and they do copy everything we do and you can see this in the way uh they even handle punishment
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which we'll talk a bit about punishment in here and this is the video i'll include the clip in because
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i think it's a great clip to to sort of annotate but anyway the second thing that you said there is
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it teaches them about the real world right this i would disagree pretty strongly that's not the way
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the real world works in the real wait wait so which which is not the way the real world works
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what the sort of the philosophy of the the jordan pearson acolytes that we've spoken with
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is not the way most of the real world works you don't get sit in a timeout you lose your job people
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don't talk to you the real world provides consequences to you you providing the consequences
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to yourself or having some authority figure who's out there in fact i think it teaches really toxic
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mindset which is that the world or authority should be the one to punish people who do bad rather than
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you as an individual should punish yourself for doing bad you as an individual should feel bad
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when you do bad and that's where the punishment should come from and so i'm gonna actually roll a
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little clip here because i think it's really interesting it's of one of our kids getting angry
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and in the clip what you will see is he is upset with his brother because he knows they need to be
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leaving the house to go to spend some time with a babysitter and the brother isn't having it he just
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wants to play the piano and then the brother keeps pushing him away and he is at first
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vocalizing how he's feeling like he's showing i feel anger but he's not reacting on that anger
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after a few pushes he holds his brother's hands really tight and this is something we do with the
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kids not as tight as he's holding his brother hands but we hold their hands and we look at them
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in the eyes and we we talk to them right when we really need to get their attention then we have
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them repeat back to us to make sure they understood what we were saying right uh but you could tell
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he holds his brother's hands a little too tight and the brother makes a noise like he's being hurt
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and immediately and it made me respect my son so much in the moment you can see he's ashamed of what
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he's done he's still feeling angry like he puts his hands behind his back but he's ashamed of what
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he's done and he's trying to to think through what do i do like i'm still angry right how do i relate to
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this and i point out to him that he's making monster sounds like he's talking like he's a monster
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and he replies i i think really interesting like like i'm a monster because i bopped toasty
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and i want to bop toasty i'm a monster because i want to bop toasty and and and bop is the word we
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use in our family for hit someone or hurt someone so what he's saying is the fact that i hurt him
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are you are you did you make a mistake octavian can you tell us you're sorry
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i'm trying to get home to this house can you tell him you're sorry you're not supposed to hurt
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is it what is that your mad voice why why do you turn into a monster when you're mad
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which i just thought was very interesting and and to me it it shows a difference in how we expect
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our kids to act i want to raise kids where the punishment for unjust action is how it makes them
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feel about themselves not an external authority applying that punishment because then you enter
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the real world and you see external authorities not applying punishment for bad action you see
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the zeitgeist in society says this is what's good right because look at our society right now the
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things that rewards the things that cancels right these are all the little kids that were taught to
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obey authority you know and they they go out into society and they're looking for what's right and
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what's wrong and so they look at what is the authority punishing what is the authority not punishing
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the things the authority doesn't punish well those must be the right things and the thing the authority
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does punish those must be the wrong things instead of trying to determine those things for themselves
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yeah i mean i i agree with you it's not it's not the most accurate way to go i've heard other people
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talk on podcasts about sort of versions of this form of discipline of like microcosms of the real world
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that i really like for for example like one teacher whose interviewer i listened to described
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how in working with his students he he implements laws the way laws are typically implemented which is
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when you get caught you pay a penalty but sometimes the penalty is worth it so like sometimes when you
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get a speeding ticket it's kind of worth it you were willing to pay that amount to kind of get where
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you needed to go faster it was an emergency or something like that so he you know he pointed out like
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if if a kid starts acting out in class to cheer up a friend well maybe it's worth it that they get
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punished because it's worth it for their friend to be cheered up and he talks with the students about
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that and i kind of like that because one it shows how like in the real world like in many cases you
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only get punished if you get caught and two sometimes it's sometimes it's worth it to run that risk of
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getting caught and to pay a penalty because sometimes rules are worth breaking i love that kind of
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philosophy so i don't think like using adult punishment as an approximation of real world
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punishments it's always a bad idea and i think that sometimes it's very effective but the way you relate
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to punishment teaches kids values so another story from my childhood right is one day a teacher was like
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oh i forgot like one kid was was picking on another kid and i had told the teacher and the teacher
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had praised me about it to my mom and you know afterwards she took me aside and she goes
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don't be a little pussy like don't go to a teacher don't go to an authority is what she was
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saying in adult language when you see an injustice resolves the situation yourself she's like could you
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not have done anything could you not have intervened could you not have decked this kid and yes i would
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have been punished for that but that would have been honorable rather than being a little snitch being a
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little bitch you know going to authority from from the perspective that was being ingrained to me by my
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parent you know and i i i think that that was really valuable and it's a different way of dealing
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seeing and relating to authority but here's where i think these two strategies sort of come to a head
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right which is when kids are doing genuinely um dangerous things right like teaching kids to not run
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into roads and stuff like that like do you actually teaching kids to not and this is where you learned
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a piece of parenting strategy from a safari so can you go into this this safari revelation you had
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yeah i mean when you're out on safari you're just looking at animals and you have nothing else to do so
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you start thinking a lot right and we went on a multi-day safari at one point it was really awesome
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so lucky to do it and we watched a lot of cubs with mothers which was great because i mean it's
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cool to see lions well yeah but i mean it wasn't just lion cubs it was also a few other things but
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yeah like the lion cubs are the most impactful thing that we looked at and it's interesting to
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see how mammals like across species engage with discipline and with lions it was so clear how they
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did so a lion cub would play and constantly push boundaries because that's the whole point of play is to
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like learn your own boundaries and other people's boundaries so like one we love that we love the
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kids push boundaries and we want them to because that's how mammals and probably many other species
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learn what their limits are and what other people's limits are what would happen when they would push
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boundaries with a an adult lion is they would start jumping on them biting them playing with their
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tails etc and for a while as long as they were not being too crazy the lions would just kind of
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you know like they would look irritable they might like kick a leg a little bit or make a small noise
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but they wouldn't do anything crazy and then as soon as one of the lion cubs crossed a line
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the you know they'd get a big like swipe of the paw a roar you know they'd immediately get like very
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visceral immediate but not harming you know like no and they would give them a grumble first you know
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yeah they'd get warnings and then they'd get like a sort of like they'd get like hit by a paw
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or and or roared at and then they would you know kind of go back off and sort of start like
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recalibrating in terms of the boundaries that they were pushing this is very different than spanking
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style punishment yeah well because it was immediate and that's so important and it was like simple and it
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was over it wasn't like this whole like wait till your dad comes home or i'm going to like spank you or
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just like whatever it's such a structured style of punishment i almost can't imagine it being that
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like i remember after i had different nannies when i was a kid and some would try that and all it did
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was just build resentment for me like oh well i really need to undermine this person because i began
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to see them given the way i was raised as an unjust authority when they would do things like that
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so i would feel good when i would undermine them and do things that made their lives harder
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because i was undermining the un the authoritarian state the the bad guy right and so these two
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parenting styles work so incongruously with each other the the lion style which is one that we've
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really adapted and our kids um i think people would be like well what if the kids do something
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really dangerous like run into a road or something like that except they they seem to learn really
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quickly from this style which is to say first you're like no so most most of them they just don't
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do the things they're not supposed to do like it's fairly rare that they do something they're
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generally not supposed to do but when they do you know when they're pushing things a little too far
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first it's like you know and the kids back off like they understand but they don't feel bad about
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it and then if they do do something bad we do the bop right which is to say like a lion would
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where it's clearly not meant to cause physical pain but it's meant to sort of show like you've
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crossed a boundary and what's really interesting about this is the way the kids emotionally respond
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to it when you do this it's almost like their brain is structured in a way where it takes it
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as seriously as if you had caused physical pain so even though you're just slightly like tapping them
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or something you know like a lion would they like absolutely are are freaked out by it and they're
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freaked out by it i think because they're sort of genetically coded to be they're genetically coded
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to oh this is what happens when i have cost boundaries with one of the adults of my tribe
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i need to emotionally take a lesson from this and i think that some of that emotional lesson can be
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lost from something like or something as structured as like spanking or something like that because
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in that moment they're they're waiting they're thinking through the the dominance dynamics that split
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at play here it's not an organic punishment style and so i i i do question that and i know that i don't
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know if he recommends spanking in any of his books i'm just giving that as an example yeah he doesn't
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talk about that i mean i would say broadly jordan peterson's tactics as he described them are very
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reasonable and mostly what he described was basically just waiting kids out like there was another
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example he presented of a kid he was babysitting who supposedly allegedly refused to go to sleep each night
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you know until after he got to do a bunch of indulgent things and jordan peterson would just
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like keep holding him down in his bed and then just i think like say something like go to bed monster
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and then like eventually the kid just gave up and went to bed and jordan peterson was very proud of
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himself for this but yeah it was really just it wasn't like spanking or delayed it was really it was
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late it was waiting things out and i would say that jordan peterson's strategy does not run
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afoul of our philosophy on like immediate boundaries because that's exactly what he was
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showing he was like my boundary is you go to sleep my boundary is you finish your dinner and until you
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leave like you cannot leave the table until you finish your dinner so it's not wrong it does it does
00:25:34.620
run afoul of my strategy and i can tell you it wouldn't work with me well wait because you would you
00:25:38.480
would backfire you would you would hate you would brush you would bristle at the idea of someone
00:25:43.840
enforcing their will upon you and i understand that whereas your philosophy is very different it's
00:25:48.860
it's when what you do now with our children is show when their will has crossed a line with your
00:25:55.920
will whereas jordan peterson's strategy is i am going to let my will rule this household and you
00:26:02.940
have to bend to my will that yes really like it's like it's fears of will they have a sphere of will
00:26:08.700
i have a sphere of will sometimes i show them their sphere of will has overlapped with my sphere of
00:26:13.620
will yeah and but in the peterson household you enter the peterson sphere of influence and that
00:26:19.020
is the only sphere of influence if that makes sense yeah no no it makes perfect sense and i
00:26:24.300
understand like i i really i get it like and i and again i'm saying i actually don't think it's wrong
00:26:30.200
for the type of of families that really crave structure i think yeah it's incredibly effective
00:26:36.880
and i think people have to experiment and like actually see what works for kids like maybe being the
00:26:41.580
peterson stone wall is the correct way to go and maybe just showing where your boundaries are is
00:26:46.960
the correct way to go but forcing it where it's not going to work is yeah i was just thinking the
00:26:51.340
stereotype of the type of parent who's most likely to do this sort of discipline is of the military dad
00:26:56.440
and there is no draws people that structure more than than military it's a very structured environment
00:27:03.700
so it would make sense why that would that associated stereotype would exist
00:27:08.440
um very interesting and i'd also point out that i i shouldn't like i can i can be like these people
00:27:17.000
are different from me you know and so i i like like for my cultural perspective what they're doing
00:27:22.660
isn't good but it's important to remember that their cultural perspective is necessary society doesn't
00:27:27.520
work if you can't have trained militaries of people who follow order society doesn't work
00:27:32.600
without the disciplined group society doesn't work without the obedient group like it may in in our
00:27:39.300
current world lead to some negative externalities which we've talked about but there is no world like
00:27:46.040
a world where with only people like you know me and rodney atkinson's kids and stuff like that you
00:27:52.700
know that's a world that is chaotic chaotic that's a world that's that's far more chaotic and i think
00:28:00.480
it's a world where even things like historically i mean you know you may have a harder time defending
00:28:06.340
yourself and stuff like that like you've got to look at the way that these two groups historically
00:28:11.240
would have fought wars right like one group the group that can follow orders likely would have
00:28:15.760
led to much larger civilizational structures with things like organized military whereas you know my
00:28:23.420
sociological structure would be much more optimized for sort of a barbarian like environment
00:28:28.180
where you have small tribes where they fight you know as a as a group but it's about individual
00:28:34.540
prowess and individual you know sort of showmanship and proving to yourself who you are right which is
00:28:41.120
a very different environment and it's a very different cultural structure and they can both be optimal at
00:28:47.860
different points in human history but i think the true optimum is when they work together and and when
00:28:52.680
they respect that they are different and so i think it's just something that we need to be
00:28:57.200
more careful about especially in the conservative community is is coming up with sort of cure all
00:29:02.280
parenting strategies and saying this is the way all families should parent because i think that can lead
00:29:07.960
to really sort of negative aspects when the kids grow up yeah i totally agree and it's nice to hear
00:29:17.180
someone say that there is no particular pathway that's appropriate because yeah i totally and well
00:29:24.400
and also every kid i think even within family like we we might have within our family kids with very
00:29:29.440
different needs in terms of discipline so like i i knew i was never disciplined as a child because i was
00:29:35.440
so self-disciplined like i would you know criticize my parents for being insufficiently disciplined so
00:29:40.780
i'm just thinking like the nights where we've done things were like octavian or or one of the kids
00:29:47.540
like it kept kept getting out of bed because this happened recently anyways i just went downstairs and
00:29:53.320
basically growled at them and was like get in bed now and they go and they get in bed and they go
00:29:59.940
and i'm like don't get out but they then they got out some like like some most of the time they'll stay
00:30:07.080
in bed when i do that but sometimes they want to push boundaries and it's like whatever you know
00:30:11.400
you respect that the room's locked for a reason whatever you know hey they they they went to sleep
00:30:18.300
in their beds didn't they i mean the room is not our our bedroom doors are locked so we can we can
00:30:25.420
hear them and they they can't get in our beds all night while we're like completely passed out but like
00:30:31.460
they can get anywhere in the house and that's the problem like when they start playing with the
00:30:36.440
toilet when they start playing with the kitchen oh yes you got annoyed the other night when one of
00:30:40.840
them decided to start playing with the toilet to jackson pollock uh toilet water all over yeah that
00:30:46.360
was not my favorite moment that's a toddler thing to do it is a very toddler thing to do but yeah no
00:30:52.620
it's it's it's going to be interesting to see how our philosophy on child discipline evolves over time
00:31:01.620
i would say the one thing that i expect to stay very consistent over time which is also something
00:31:06.960
that jordan peterson advocated for so i like it is to not have very many rules just like very few rules
00:31:12.720
be really clear about what really matters and more broadly speaking i would say modeling good behavior
00:31:19.280
is the most important thing that kids are going to reflect what they see so well what do you think i
00:31:24.220
also think that a lot of a kid's behavior is genetic like when i look at our kids their their
00:31:29.020
personalities seem really baked in even from stuff that like we we didn't do with them and it might
00:31:34.160
just be that we're really lucky like our kids just genuinely do not break rules that often they very
00:31:39.460
rarely do bad things and they very rarely are mean to each other and we could take credit for that being
00:31:46.380
our parenting but i suspect a lot of that is just internally who they are and that we've just gotten
00:31:52.420
very easy kids in that respect but i i mean i got easy kids i got self-discipline kids because i married
00:32:00.000
a self-discipline woman um and so keep in mind again when you're choosing partners if you choose
00:32:06.600
a partner that lacks mental self-discipline it's not just them that's going to make your life hell
00:32:12.280
it's your kids that are also going to make your life hell if you marry a narcissistic person it's not
00:32:16.880
just them that that'll be reflected back through it's the kids and keep in mind that they being an
00:32:21.920
unself-disciplined person or a narcissistic person will raise your kids in an environment where that's
00:32:25.940
being modeled to them and and and that can be very hard for a young child yeah yeah
00:32:34.040
i also like your philosophy just as i guess an ending note of children being like plants that you
00:32:42.700
can't necessarily choose what plant you're going to get like you get mystery seeds and you can build a
00:32:48.280
trellis you can add more water more fertilizer try to change this shade or sunshine situation but in
00:32:53.720
the end like you cannot a pear tree look like a grapevine and grow like a grapevine and vice versa
00:33:00.880
so you have to look at how your kids are behaving and so that's the philosophy upon which our school
00:33:05.500
system is based as well exactly so i'm really curious to see like you know let's say it's 10 years
00:33:10.660
from now and we're like oh man like we had no idea like one of our kids like we're just full out
00:33:16.060
jordan peterson petersoning him like some other kid we're like just anarchy i don't know you know
00:33:22.140
and i also wonder how parents deal especially when they have larger families you know five six kids
00:33:28.260
and those kids require different discipline consistency of discipline is something that
00:33:32.320
you've also pointed out is really important so you know how much of a problem is it going to be
00:33:36.960
if the appropriate discipline for one child is really different from from another child you know
00:33:42.360
like one one kid just needs a to have a long conversation about what was going on whereas
00:33:46.540
the other one needs like you know someone to sort of like like physically restrain them for a second
00:33:53.920
hold them to a wall and let them calm down right like are they going to see that as a
00:33:57.900
position that's rarer than you think all of our kids require basically the same discipline so far
00:34:01.900
i suspect that that's what we're going to that are old enough to be naughty
00:34:06.440
well yeah and and i i see i mean i'm getting the impression of the personalities we're going to
00:34:12.380
get you know you're pregnant with the next one so nine weeks just got the confirmation of the
00:34:16.560
heartbeat again today it's only 0.5 chance it doesn't make it which is very exciting so yeah i i i think
00:34:23.020
that you might be right but keep in mind you're working with the same parental gene set with all of
00:34:27.560
the kids having a kid that's just a completely different sociological profile instead of just a
00:34:32.380
different personality on top of the same basic profile is pretty unlikely unless you're like
00:34:38.500
adopting or something like that and that's actually something i've i've heard of or noticed in families
00:34:43.120
that adopt kids is having to implement very different parenting strategies for each of the kids
00:34:48.860
whereas when families don't adopt kids generally i haven't heard of that
00:34:52.660
although i have heard occasionally families will have like one demon child that's just like a bad person
00:35:00.740
to start with i i've heard that like the you know the serial killer families and stuff like that and
00:35:05.420
they're like yeah i always knew that this kid you know he kept torturing cats or something what do you
00:35:12.700
well fingers crossed everything's good and yeah i'm i'm lucky that and we're lucky that our kids are so
00:35:23.420
great that i don't think we're ever going to be driven to the brink with them they're just ethical nice
00:35:29.700
people who also hate authority so yeah they also hate authority so they'll make our lives hard