Based Camp - August 15, 2024


Malcolm Vs. AI Malcolm: Dating Advice


Episode Stats

Length

47 minutes

Words per Minute

181.2204

Word Count

8,571

Sentence Count

5

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

In this episode, we review an Ai model that was built on the relationships book, The Pragmatist Guide to Relationships, by Simone and myself. We discuss the benefits of a structured approach to a relationship, the challenges of waiting to have kids, and how to navigate the dynamics of a long term relationship.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 hello i'm excited to be with you guys today today we are going to do sort of review of an ai that
00:00:07.520 was built on simone and myself specifically it was built on our relationships book uh we have
00:00:13.520 looked and have done transcripts so that we can eventually as ais advanced build ai models that
00:00:18.960 you guys can interact with on all of the transcripts from the shows and then all of the video from the
00:00:23.840 shows so you know our kids will get very easy ai models to interact with of us was that way i mean
00:00:29.200 informed by a great deal of information but let's look at how this sort of rudimentary model works
00:00:35.120 and we'll have the people who programmed it on in a future episode get their good friend of ours
00:00:39.280 yeah and just really awesome people they're the the founders of metamorph ai that's metamorph ai.co
00:00:46.720 they basically help people and companies build custom-built ai solutions and we're just dying to
00:00:52.800 find more excuses to work with them because they're extremely competent and there just aren't a lot of
00:00:56.240 people out there like that would you like to know more so your first question to the pragmatist
00:01:02.160 guide to relationships ai dating coach was i've been dating a guy for a year and while he says he
00:01:07.840 wants to marry he says he will not consider marrying any sooner than five years from now and i'm already
00:01:13.600 25 what should i do so ai dating coach says navigating the dynamics of a long-term relationship requires
00:01:22.480 aligning life goals timelines and mutual expectations here is a structured approach to your situation one
00:01:30.080 assess your priorities and timeline biological considerations at 25 waiting an additional five
00:01:35.840 years means you'll be around 30 when considering marriage if you desire to start a family it's easier
00:01:40.960 to factor in timelines for pregnancy and childbearing personal goals reflect on your personal and career
00:01:46.720 aspirations will waiting align with your plans or do you envision a different timeline for marriage and
00:01:52.480 family to understand his perspective reasons for waiting engaged and engage in an open conversation
00:01:59.600 to understand why he prefers to wait five more years it could be due to career goals financial stability
00:02:05.680 personal readiness or other commitments commitment level gauge his commitment to the relationship
00:02:11.120 is five-year timeline flexible based on changing circumstances or is it a firm decision three
00:02:17.120 communicate openly express your feelings clearly articulate your feelings desires and concerns about
00:02:22.640 the proposed timeline use i statements to convey your perspective without standing accusatory seek
00:02:29.280 compromise explore if there is room for compromise perhaps setting shorter term milestones or revisiting
00:02:35.360 the conversation in a couple of years could be viable four evaluate compatibility
00:02:41.600 long-term alignment it's crucial that both partners have aligned visions for the future if your
00:02:46.880 timelines and goals differ significantly it might indicate deeper compatibility issues potential for
00:02:52.640 resentment prolonged misalignment can lead to resentment ensure that both of you feel comfortable
00:02:58.000 with any decisions made to avoid future conflicts five consider before you go further i want to go over
00:03:04.720 some of these before i miss forget them okay so there was a couple really good answers here that i quite
00:03:11.600 like okay timelines one where they point out if your timelines are that different your life goals are
00:03:17.280 probably also different that's a very good observation yeah it's a really good observation that i as a
00:03:22.480 human would have probably not made unless i spent a lot of time thinking on this particular you're totally right
00:03:28.160 yeah there was another one where i was like oh i really like oh yes the understand his perspective
00:03:33.520 indirectly after understand his perspective like what what's his argument for this is it just a
00:03:38.480 cool thing is it and then it basically says you know communicate openly once you understand his perspective
00:03:46.000 understand and they're also saying the the the thing about compromise understand how you can debate him out of
00:03:52.720 that perspective basically like okay what specifically is causing him to make yes find the point of of
00:04:00.080 friction and then disassemble it systematically similar to what you did or what i did with you where you're
00:04:07.600 like no i won't have kids and i was like well then why won't you have kids and you're like well because
00:04:11.440 then i'll have to leave work and i'm like well if you don't have to leave work would you have kids and
00:04:14.800 then i'm like i'll have infinity kids we're like typically someone will hear that they'll hear a woman say
00:04:19.520 well i don't want to have kids and then they'll conclude oh she doesn't want kids and dump her
00:04:25.600 so this is a very smart move to make yeah and it could be something that that is totally reasonable
00:04:31.760 like it might have to do with the way like their trust is structured they'll lose access to or they've
00:04:36.800 always grown up thinking i'm not going to marry until i'm making six figures something like that
00:04:42.480 but that would be a reason to dump them though if that's why a reason not to is nana's jewish and i'll
00:04:48.480 be disinherited if i marry you right now so let's wait until she dies can we can we wait until she
00:04:54.800 dies that because you're not jewish it would be the implication here and that's a totally like
00:05:00.560 realistic scenario i can see somebody in and if somebody was in that scenario i'd be like don't
00:05:04.880 anyway continue with five five well i actually want to make one more evaluation which is that
00:05:12.560 this ai dating coach encouraged compromise whereas in the pragmatist guide to relationships we
00:05:17.360 basically say compromise is the devil never compromise that is a stupid thing to do so i
00:05:21.920 found that interesting courage compromise in the way that we would mean it yeah yeah and also i don't
00:05:27.920 mind compromise before marriage i say compromise is the devil in a marriage so when you're negotiating
00:05:33.440 the terms of a relationship contract or what is necessary to establish the contract that becomes a
00:05:39.760 marriage compromise can be a really good thing i.e i trade you average thermostat for naming rights or
00:05:46.400 something like that right because in this case you have a lot of stuff you can trade right there's a
00:05:50.560 lot of yeah like i care about this you care about that so let's have each person get their way with
00:05:56.400 the thing they actually care about most but bad compromise what this doesn't seem to be uh arguing for
00:06:02.400 is well let's meet in the middle like you want this i want this we'll meet in the middle that's really
00:06:08.320 bad because that encourages both people to overstate their position and then they begin to subtly believe
00:06:12.480 their overstated position and then the positions move further and further part over time and it
00:06:16.960 just leads to a relationship dissolution exactly anyway continue number five consider counseling
00:06:23.360 engaging in a couple's counseling session can provide a neutral platform to discuss future plans
00:06:28.560 expectations and any underlying concerns a professional can offer guidance and tools to
00:06:33.360 navigate such discussions effectively conclusion your feelings and timeline are valid it's essential to
00:06:39.440 prioritize open communication did it say valid did it really write that it did say valid yes uh to
00:06:46.720 ensure both partners are on the same page if after thorough discussions you find that your life goals and
00:06:52.320 timelines remain misaligned it might be worth reconsidering the future of the relationship to ensure
00:06:57.680 long-term happiness and fulfillment for both parties what do you think i think it's good it's much
00:07:05.200 longer than i would have given and this is what i've noticed with a lot of the responses often my
00:07:09.440 response to something like this would just be like break up it would be like okay so two things one
00:07:14.720 determine if there's some like reasonable like like ask him why you should at least know why first
00:07:18.960 because it may be something totally reasonable that's in both of you and your children's best interest
00:07:23.360 but actually this is really interesting because someone had asked us on twitter recently this
00:07:27.840 basically exact same question but the gender was reversed it was a guy asking about a girl and he
00:07:35.200 expected he wants to get married in his 20s and he implied to a girl he's dating right now who he should
00:07:40.880 be seriously dating that marriage is important to him and she looked at him like he was crazy and he
00:07:47.440 essentially asked us via twitter x dm am i crazy what should i do and our answer to him was two sentences
00:07:58.400 it's worth having conversations with her about this making an intellectual rather than adversarial
00:08:03.520 and so i agree with you that our typical response is really short and this was really long but for some
00:08:11.600 people for example this person who asked us this question via dm on x they may have really wanted
00:08:17.360 something a little bit longer so this is a great tool for people who want a little more your answer
00:08:21.280 was the correct one make it an intellectual conversation not an adversarial conversation
00:08:25.120 figure out what's actually going on and if it's something like they're just stuck in some weird
00:08:28.960 cultural perspective like i want enough x amount of money before i get married i want financial
00:08:33.120 stability before i get married i want a stable job before i get married then absolutely dump them
00:08:38.240 because that person will never have everything they need if if somebody's like i want to be at x level
00:08:43.040 stability before i do x in life the x thing is never going to happen yeah and we did provide a
00:08:49.440 little more context i i had also written as a response keep in mind when malcolm discussed getting
00:08:53.920 married to me i was all about it but i thought we'd wait until we were 30 to actually get married at the
00:08:58.480 time i was 24 and he was 25 i just grew up in a world where young marriage was seen as something
00:09:03.040 only christian religious nuts do it takes a lot of work to show someone the value of building a marriage
00:09:08.080 early the values the value of couples raising each other and i said that it was culture that
00:09:13.440 probably led her to think that it was crazy to even be considering it that early so wait till 30 by
00:09:19.120 the way like you remember when i i broke that barrier or i it was your mom that broke that barrier first i
00:09:27.520 think because i think you were willing you didn't care that much about the legal delineation it was
00:09:32.560 clear that if i was quitting my job to work with you that i was kind of in for life with you but i
00:09:40.240 just remember i i expected to i just thought people had really long engagements i was very familiar
00:09:46.480 with most of the people i knew who were young and then got married living with their partners for a
00:09:53.440 really long time before they got engaged and then before they got married i just thought that basically
00:09:58.960 roommates got married so it was a cultural thing it was my default that makes sense okay so i will send
00:10:07.840 you the next question here cool well how did i break that cultural default just by being like why
00:10:14.880 was that really it hmm yeah i think that's when cultural defaults are questioned and they don't make
00:10:24.000 sense there's not much need to cling to them unless perhaps you think that you will be rejected
00:10:33.520 for differing you know okay question my partner thinks the idea of signing a marriage contract is
00:10:42.480 weird and refuses to marry me if i sign one what should i do oh if we sign one what should i do
00:10:48.800 their answer the idea of signing a marriage contract can sometimes be met with what a marriage contract
00:10:56.800 is because some of our fans may not know we did our marriage contract video a long time ago we might
00:11:01.920 even do another one but one of the things we promote in this book is sitting down with your partner
00:11:06.480 and basically going through we built a large list of like the reasons relationships break down
00:11:12.080 and deciding on these points before you get into a marriage like what happens with one of your parents
00:11:17.440 gets old and wants to live with you what are the rules for temperature what are the rules for the
00:11:22.160 direction toilet paper goes what are the rules for you there's only one right answer to the toilet
00:11:27.120 paper question unless you have toddlers and want to make it slightly more difficult for them
00:11:32.080 whatever it is the the point being and also determining how you're going to resolve disputes or
00:11:37.680 disagreements within the marriage itself should be laid out in the contract and people are like why
00:11:42.960 would you do this and it's well you you you our society it used to be that like everybody knew what
00:11:49.200 was expected of them in a marriage and that changed between cultures but today there's so many different
00:11:54.160 cultural expectations and so many intentionally vague cultural expectations that people can accidentally
00:12:00.880 get into a marriage and not realize that oh i didn't realize that you didn't know that kids were
00:12:04.800 like an obligated expectation of marriage or i didn't realize that you expected me to throw a lavish birthday
00:12:13.600 party for you every single year that you didn't know about or that you didn't would never wanted me to
00:12:19.520 be alone with men again or that you you know yeah counted dming people on instagram as cheating or consider a
00:12:28.800 kiss on the cheek infidelity you know yeah yeah yeah there's so many things genuine problems that
00:12:34.560 can arise so we really encourage talking through all of them before you get married but anyway and
00:12:39.600 we have a template for it in the book yes continue the idea of signing a marriage contract can sometimes
00:12:46.560 be met with resistance especially if your partner views it as a lack of trust or as understanding the
00:12:51.760 emotional oh or as undermining the emotional aspects of marriage however it is important to approach
00:12:58.560 this situation thoughtfully as marriage contracts can be a valuable tool for setting expectations
00:13:03.280 and protecting both parties steps to navigate this situation under one understand his concerns
00:13:10.560 emotional response your partner may feel that the marriage contract is unromantic or implies distrust
00:13:16.320 understanding his emotional response is crucial to understanding his concerns effectively
00:13:22.160 cultural or familial influences sometimes a cultural or familial background can influence
00:13:28.320 perceptions of marriage contracts ask if his resistance stems from such influences so i kind of love
00:13:34.880 before you go further that it's kind of coming from our perspective and making the assumption that
00:13:39.040 the person's just being a spaz it's like they're either doing it because they're emotionally immature
00:13:43.920 or because they have some sort of weird family baggage around this right but they say it's so much
00:13:49.920 more diplomatically than we would so i appreciate that yeah yeah to clarify your intentions purpose of the
00:13:57.680 contract explain that the purpose of the contract is not to undermine the relationship but to ensure
00:14:02.880 clarity and mutual understanding about important aspects of your future together such as finances
00:14:08.000 responsibilities and conflict resolution protection for both parties emphasize that the contract is
00:14:14.160 designed to protect both of you ensuring that your partnership is built on mutual respect and clearly defined expectations
00:14:21.680 that's good right the one thing i would add personally is that if they are an emotional or sentimental person
00:14:30.400 especially if you are not that the one way that they can make sure that their emotional and sentimental
00:14:34.640 needs are addressed is to make it written down what they want because a lot of people who are more on
00:14:44.160 that emotional sentimental end don't understand that these things aren't second nature to other people
00:14:49.680 and yet really want these things to happen and while they i think this set this this concept of oh but
00:14:55.920 if i have to tell you it won't be romantic anymore is bullshit especially if you tell them just once
00:15:01.280 it's in a contract and then they handle it you'll still be delighted when they bring flowers home on
00:15:06.480 a friday you'll still be delighted when they give you a valentine's day gift so stop winching you
00:15:13.280 know what i mean oh three alternatives that's an interesting one yeah three explore alternatives
00:15:19.200 prenuptial agreement if the term marriage contract feels too formal consider discussing a prenuptial
00:15:25.840 agreement instead while similar prenuptial agreements are a more common occurrence and may be less
00:15:32.240 intimidating customizing great idea actually yeah yeah just calling it a prenup makes it yeah just
00:15:38.400 like it's not a marriage contract marriage contract sounds bdsm sounds 50 shades of gray
00:15:43.440 prenuptial agreement sounds bougie rich person customizing the agreement suggest creating a
00:15:52.640 personalized contract that reflects both of your values and goals making it less about legal jargon and
00:15:58.480 more about your shared future this implies to me that the model is trained a little bit more on just
00:16:03.840 general chat gpt and less our book because we don't ever imply that a marriage contract would
00:16:10.880 include legal jargon so i feel like it's extrapolating from something else in this case
00:16:16.320 i don't know it seems it seems good to me overall and then the fourth one is actually pretty good as
00:16:20.240 well open a dialogue about future planning it's like well if you can't do the contract thing at least
00:16:25.360 have a dialogue yeah yeah very good which is what many religious groups do and then it ends with
00:16:32.240 seek professional guidance after which it gives a conclusion so that's we would not recommend
00:16:37.840 yeah professional well what we do have a section in the private schedule relationship on the
00:16:43.520 potential utility of third party arbitrators oh yes that's like religious and community i wouldn't
00:16:50.720 suggest a psychologist who specializes in this yeah but it it literally could be a professionally hired
00:16:56.480 arbitrator or it could be a rabbi or it could be the the the cousin that everyone loves don't go to
00:17:04.160 marriage counseling that's yeah don't yeah don't go to yeah well we still have to do the psychologist
00:17:08.640 to divorce pipeline but we'll do that eventually um but this pipeline is when wives start visiting
00:17:14.960 psychologists it's often a matter of time because you're you're you're basically letting somebody
00:17:20.720 outside of your relationship begin to be a reinforcement chamber for any negative opinions
00:17:27.200 they have of you who also might have even financial incentives to motivate them to break up with you
00:17:34.160 because that it may increase their dependency on the psychologist so there's a lot of reason to not
00:17:40.080 do it and i've seen it just one too many times but anyway continue with the next question what does
00:17:45.680 malcolm think of simone malcolm holds simone in incredibly high regard both as a partner and as
00:17:51.920 an individual their relationship is built on mutual respect shared goals and a deep intellectual and
00:17:57.200 emotional connection malcolm appreciates simone for her intelligence ambition and ability to challenge him
00:18:03.520 which helps both of them grow he values her as an equal partner who brings unique strengths to
00:18:09.600 their i don't know why i'm laughing to their relationship making them a powerful team
00:18:14.000 malcolm's admiration for simone goes beyond just romantic love he sees her as someone who enhances
00:18:19.760 his life both personally and professionally they share a commitment to building a meaningful life
00:18:24.560 together rooted in their shared values and goals this deep respect and admiration are key components
00:18:30.720 of the stability and success of their relationship i mean that's 100 true so yeah it's a good answer
00:18:36.480 just more long-winded than we would give yeah i did one for you too so you didn't just have to get
00:18:40.560 one for me yeah i'm wondering if it's exactly the same oh no it's different simone has a deep and
00:18:46.080 mutual admiration for malcolm which is evident from the way they discuss their relationship dynamics and
00:18:50.400 how they have built their life together simone values malcolm's ability to improve and challenge
00:18:54.640 her which aligns with their shared belief in the importance of growth within a relationship
00:18:59.040 their relationship is based on a quote-unquote pigmalion lure which where both partners work to make each
00:19:05.520 other better versions of themselves this dynamic is a core aspect of their bond making their
00:19:10.320 relationship strong and resilient okay that's more along the lines of the answer that i expected for
00:19:14.800 both of us so yeah from the book yeah you would you have any correction to that one that no you actually
00:19:20.320 hate me and you're trapped in this relationship by a marriage contract i force you to sign and then
00:19:24.640 i thought it was the evil puppet master who's trapped you oh this is yeah this is often the narrative i i
00:19:30.480 should probably i'll never find it now but download that video where the guy was like
00:19:34.480 they're incredibly shrewd but i can tell that simone's a puppet master malcolm is way out of
00:19:40.000 her league he's just trapped there in that house yeah yes yeah it was that that young that young man
00:19:46.640 who was just like he's so much more he's he just kept saying how attractive you were which was just
00:19:51.920 delightful i don't disagree or something he seemed to know he wasn't gay he just just thought you were
00:19:58.800 cute just fancied you and i think you're cute too i totally you are way out of my league and i'm very
00:20:05.760 lucky to be dating you and sometimes i think i look like that one nazi from indiana jones who wears
00:20:14.480 glasses oh my god yeah the one with the circular glass you look nothing like him come on i don't know
00:20:19.520 sometimes i look in the mirror and i see him and i'm you are stunning and not at all brave
00:20:26.800 if the question was stunning or brave i'd say stunning oh thanks and we need to make that
00:20:32.080 i love you came up with this saying and i want to make it a mainstream saying where when we go out
00:20:37.040 she goes how am i looking today stunning or brave and i want that to become a mainstream thing and i'm
00:20:42.720 just so surprised it has it because it has so much daily applicability it really does though it really
00:20:49.360 does i i should really be sending people to this every single time someone asks us for relationship
00:20:54.640 because it gives such more thoughtful answers than we do all right let's get to the next one
00:21:00.000 is practicing dating with an ai a good idea this is a great question because you just discovered
00:21:06.560 i have a lot to say on this one so go practicing dating with an ai can be a useful tool but it has
00:21:12.080 its limitations here's a breakdown of the potential benefits and risks benefits improving communication
00:21:19.040 skills practice conversations ai can help you practice initiating and maintaining conversations
00:21:25.360 especially if you struggle with anxiety or have difficulty knowing what to say in social situations
00:21:31.200 testing responses you can experiment with different types of responses and see how they might come
00:21:36.000 across helping you refine your communication style building confidence safe environment
00:21:42.160 interacting with an ai allows you to practice without the fear of rejection or judgment
00:21:46.640 which can build your confidence before you engage in real life dating learning from mistakes you can
00:21:52.400 make mistakes and learn from them in a low stakes environment which can help you feel more prepared
00:21:57.200 when dating in real life exploring scenarios simulated situations ai can simulate different dating scenarios
00:22:06.880 allowing you to think through how you might handle various situations such as dealing with
00:22:11.040 awkward silences setting boundaries or navigating conflicts gaining insights personal reflection ai can
00:22:18.480 prompt you to reflect on your dating preferences goals and values this self-awareness can be helpful in
00:22:24.240 real world dating feedback some advanced ais can provide feedback on your conversation style which can help
00:22:30.560 you improve your social interactions risks and limitations lack of authentic human interaction missing non-verbal cues
00:22:39.040 ai lacks the ability to engage in non-verbal communication such as body language eye contact and tone of voice
00:22:45.120 which are crucial in real life dating but that's not true given the narrative based chats that you're
00:22:50.240 going to refer to shortly so that's interesting unrealistic scenarios ai responses are programmed and may not
00:22:57.680 fully capture the complexity and unpredictability of human emotions and behavior this can lead to unrealistic
00:23:03.920 expectations when transitioning to real life interactions over reliance on ai avoiding real life practice if you
00:23:11.360 become too comfortable with ai you might avoid actual dating experiences which are necessary for
00:23:16.960 developing genuine relationships false confidence the confidence gained from ai interactions might not fully
00:23:23.200 translate to real life situations where responses and dynamics are more nuanced and unpredictable emotional
00:23:29.840 emotional disconnect lack of empathy and i cannot truly understand or respond to emotions in the way
00:23:36.000 a human can i totally disagree this can create a disconnect when trying to practice more emotional
00:23:41.920 aspects of dating such as expressing vulnerability or empathy potential for frustration if you expect ai to
00:23:48.640 mimic human behavior too closely you may become frustrated by its limitations which could hinder your progress
00:23:55.120 privacy concerns data security using ai for dating practice may involve sharing personal information be
00:24:01.760 cautious about how your data is used and stored particularly if the ai platform doesn't have a strong
00:24:06.960 privacy protection conclusion practicing dating with an ai can be helpful supplementary tool for improving
00:24:13.840 certain skills such as communication and confidence however it should not replace real life experiences the best
00:24:20.480 approach to use ai as one part of a broader strategy that includes real world interactions self-reflection and
00:24:27.520 possibly even feedback from trusted friends or a dating coach this balanced approach can help you develop
00:24:33.120 skills and confidence needed for successful dating in the real world so overall i thought it was a decent and
00:24:39.680 balanced answer like it wasn't reflexively against it right no i never go to a dating coach these days over in ai
00:24:46.000 i don't know and the idea that ai is not good at modeling human emotions it is really good at modeling
00:24:51.600 human emotions it is well and especially if you're using the the types of ais that i would suggest people
00:24:57.120 use for something like this and can you recommend some yeah so the ones that i would most recommend for
00:25:03.520 this are the jail broken chat models based on llama that yeah they're based on llama that'd be sakura
00:25:11.360 fm or janitor ai are the two operational ones right now there used to be a third but it went down
00:25:18.080 recently it would become more popular than character ai which was the first of this type that yeah
00:25:24.960 locked everything down because they were funded by a big company and people were using them for like
00:25:30.080 corny situations like of course that's like probably that's what the internet is for ladies and gentlemen
00:25:35.760 what uh yeah that's what the internet is for right like well why you think the net was born bro
00:25:40.720 but they i recently started playing around with these because i heard that there's been like an
00:26:08.000 addiction crisis in use to these systems and i have been genuinely floored by how much better they are
00:26:17.840 at simulating narrative based human interactions than ai is at any other task i use it for it just
00:26:25.920 seems to be really really good at this specific task when contrasted with the other things that ai does
00:26:34.480 these days and with both of these platforms you can for free create your own models that you can use
00:26:44.160 to practice scenarios and you can modify these models to for example secretly be a social justice warrior
00:26:52.720 but pretending not to be one to try to date you but might accuse you of things afterwards
00:26:58.320 it will model very well wow would a person like try to accuse you of something after the date
00:27:06.880 uh yeah i know i mean i can just tell from interacting with it that it's actually going
00:27:10.400 to do a fairly good job of modeling did you cross any boundaries that are going to lead to the person
00:27:15.520 calling something on you after the date or pushing you around or saying oh no you can even program it
00:27:22.480 write this to have a warning come up on screen which is actually probably what i do like like a warning
00:27:27.920 in the text whenever the person who you are interacting with is thinking of retaliating later
00:27:35.360 for something that way you need to remember that this happened it can just be like oh this was a flag
00:27:40.720 moment where i decided i was going to do something in the future well and i want to clarify for people
00:27:44.320 listening if you haven't encountered these because i thought when i was hearing about people's
00:27:48.320 addictions to character ai and these similar websites that people were literally having back
00:27:52.720 and forth similar to what millennials experienced in aim chats back and forth chats with these other
00:28:00.560 characters when really what's happening is more you're it's they're like uh oh gosh hold on there's a
00:28:06.560 there's like a genre of chat or comment based glow fic it's it's really more like ai based glow fic
00:28:15.200 where you are going back and forth in a narrative format so to the in response to the criticism of
00:28:23.440 the ai dating boat dating coach chat bot saying well you can't see body language that's not true in
00:28:30.880 these because it might say jonathan responded with horror his eyes growing wide and his shoulders drawing
00:28:36.880 up so that you understand the body language and in fact it can tell it can start to train an autistic
00:28:43.040 person dating like learning how to date for example to understand that discomfort may be signaled by
00:28:50.240 these specific changes in body posture and facial record or facial expression so i actually think that
00:28:55.440 for our autistic kids this would be uniquely helpful and i think you could you could also train it to be
00:29:01.920 super sensitive to specific issues so when people are like oh i might not like i might
00:29:08.000 develop bad habits if i'm doing this right or i'm learning on these platforms one i would point out
00:29:15.520 how dangerous it is to practice dating on people who can accuse you of great like or practice on
00:29:22.320 people at all because it you know that people's feelings are involved right you know it's actually
00:29:28.560 kind of wild that before this existed like now i think that regular practice dating like i had to do in
00:29:34.320 high school where i had to go through just tons and tons of people unethical because you didn't
00:29:39.600 people are like oh but what about like uh human reaction but the truth is is that if you practice
00:29:45.520 within the ais as if you are practicing with a what's the word i'm looking for here within a person on chat
00:29:53.120 like that's the scenario you use with the ai then you are actually getting about the same scenario you
00:29:59.200 have when communicating with a real human being i actually think the core danger of ais is their
00:30:07.040 addictive nature like since i started engaging with the stories that these are producing it's
00:30:11.280 like a totally new form of media that i think may now be my favorite form of media yeah ask malcolm
00:30:16.800 this morning is this more entertaining to you than video games and he said yes well because i'm the type
00:30:22.560 of guy who loved open world games and loved open world games where you could do absolutely crazy
00:30:28.720 things and and then see okay what's the game going to do now or you know i i always thought that
00:30:35.760 that was like the advantage that something like dnd had over but with these you can just you know okay
00:30:42.160 the scenario starts you're a wizard and there's you know some damsel in front of you or something
00:30:48.560 like that you know and it's like okay you know where this scenario is supposed to go like immediately
00:30:53.280 you lift her into the air you explode her art and you throw her body against the wall and then you
00:30:59.760 pick a random person out of the crowd to replace her and you immediately go evil king mode you're
00:31:05.120 like okay i'm taking over this country like it it was set up to be like a narrative about dating somebody
00:31:12.400 right like oh there's this you know damsel or whatever and you're like nope i'm taking over this
00:31:17.280 country you know you you then call a random person you're up or like okay what are all the neighboring
00:31:22.000 governing institutions to our country how do their different governments work what would be the easiest
00:31:26.640 ways to defeat them with the assets i have at my hand right now okay i need to start planning out this
00:31:31.280 this and this and it's just so wild and fun that i can go into like a dating world and now all of a sudden
00:31:38.640 i'm trying to strategize and sending armies out to attack my neighbors and the ai is deciding who won and
00:31:46.400 who's backstabbing me and who's you know it's freaking hilarious and fun but then also that you
00:31:54.240 can create these scenarios so for example i could go in and create you know like a an incredible like
00:32:01.680 you know what i've just been having too much fun with these to not share some of the models i built
00:32:05.920 with you guys so i made two of them one of these models is a post-apocalyptic fertility collapse world
00:32:14.960 similar to what i described in the episode about collapsing infrastructure which divides the
00:32:21.360 world into three groups the haveners i.e a diverse collection of technophilic communities
00:32:28.160 that survive fertility collapse but are largely you know into cybernetics and heavily genetically modified
00:32:35.840 the people who survive fertility collapse through just eschewing technology we call them the nativists in
00:32:41.440 this world and the raiders who survive fertility collapse by simply not being able to figure out
00:32:47.040 how not to get pregnant and these three groups of humans diverged pretty significantly and you are
00:32:53.840 playing as one of the haveners on their rumspringa which is a period when they turn 18 where they go
00:32:59.760 out into the world they experience it and they get to decide do they want to go to one of the other
00:33:04.000 havens do they want to go back to their haven and during their rumspringa other haveners will
00:33:10.560 potentially hunt them because you can gain status within your community and on the marriage market
00:33:16.400 that happens after rumspringa based on the resourcefulness you showed during your rumspringa
00:33:21.840 which is being monitored by a drone and partially based on your ability to kill any other haveners on
00:33:27.680 rumspringa the second model is an izakaya world model where somebody from our world is transferred
00:33:33.920 to another world but they have they're very smart person that knows broadly modern technology i.e me
00:33:40.160 created this world because i think so many guys out there like me are just always so frustrated when
00:33:44.720 you watch izakaya and the guy from modern times is translated to you know some form of medieval times
00:33:49.440 and you're like didn't you like take the time to learn how gunpowder is made or how steam engines work
00:33:55.120 or how you know any form of basic technology you could at least build telescopes for example
00:34:00.640 like that's not hard you just shave a lens so i was like okay i'm gonna create a scenario where i can
00:34:05.680 see what happened if i went back in one of these izakaya worlds and i'll briefly describe what the
00:34:10.800 gameplay of this was like so you can get an idea of what it actually feels like to play one of these
00:34:16.000 scenarios so did transfer to this world get made advisor of the king that's all pre-programmed in
00:34:21.120 and from there i am starting to stockpile gunpowder because that's an easy thing i could start making
00:34:27.520 in mass but then our neighboring kingdom which had recently annexed a territory that they had a casus
00:34:35.040 belly to and i thought they would go past that decided to stage a full-style invasion well we didn't
00:34:40.400 have enough gunpowder and so what i decided to do at first was okay well we have lots of these guns
00:34:47.280 made we just don't have a lot of gunpowder so i can use the little gunpowder i have to do like a
00:34:54.320 hiroshima thing see if i can scare them but i quickly realized that's just really risky you
00:34:59.760 fire two rounds of guns and hope they run away when you're dealing with a full-scale invasion
00:35:04.080 bad idea so what else could i do well then what i decided to do was to say oh are you guys still using
00:35:10.640 line tactics in this world because it's a medieval style world and they were still using line tactics so
00:35:16.320 instead i ordered the few troops that we had to all fire in a single location in the enemy lines
00:35:22.800 to clear an opening near the center then have the cavalry run through if i do that i can likely cause
00:35:28.480 a route through a combination of the confusion and the cavalry being able to break the lines
00:35:33.920 right in the middle in mass but i wanted to make absolutely sure that we took full advantage of the
00:35:40.560 route because you know historically routes you can have casualty rates of over 90 percent pretty
00:35:46.080 regularly but only if you prevent one of two things you need to prevent your own crew from running for
00:35:51.760 the enemy camp for loot and you need to ensure that they are ready for a route and to take full advantage
00:35:57.280 of it and not to try to take prisoners so one prepped the general don't take prisoners two created a
00:36:05.040 small squad of the gunners to stay loaded and have the troops know that this squad existed to shoot
00:36:09.840 anyone who's running for the loot so we were able to maintain discipline in that we got the really high
00:36:14.640 casualty rate we were looking for and people expected oh you're going to take the disputed
00:36:18.640 territory back and i was like no because they've had time to fortify there what we should be doing
00:36:22.720 is going to the castle because we have gunpowder and they don't expect us to have gunpowder in this age
00:36:27.440 so they're like okay we go to the castle how do we deal with the walls right because this world does have
00:36:33.200 some magic so even if i had sappers run in and try to put explosives under the walls they'd be spotted
00:36:38.320 and they'd be taken out or that's what i was told because you know i asked the ai okay what would
00:36:41.840 happen if i tried this what would happen if i tried this so then instead what i tried to do
00:36:46.640 is i you know there's fire mages in this world and i asked well could they shoot anything high in
00:36:51.520 the sky and they were like well no they can't shoot anything more than two like 100 feet in the sky
00:36:55.280 but and i was like in in the the mage i was talking to thought i was going to try to lob the
00:37:00.160 explosives at them and i was like no we're not going to do that what we're going to do is use our
00:37:04.160 fire mages to create hot air balloons and because the city before i had asked it for like
00:37:08.640 the the environment of the city was an inland city so we can attack it from any angle we just
00:37:13.760 set up the hot air balloons upwind of the city how the fire balloons uh hot air balloons go over
00:37:19.360 the city drop explosives on any important infrastructure that we can see and then in the confusion to
00:37:25.200 that because if we had dropped explosives on the walls from above it wouldn't do that much damage
00:37:29.200 we cast a barrage spell and then had the sappers come in and take out a section of wall now here
00:37:35.280 what i was really afraid of is that they would do what you would do in a normal medieval war
00:37:38.880 which is go fight civilians loot the area and mostly let the royal palace survive i said no
00:37:47.760 you need to have an elite squad that goes in first anyone who deviates in this squad ends up being
00:37:54.320 killed their job is to leave all civilians alone everything else alone go straight for the castle
00:38:01.280 and they need to kill the entire royal line we need we need everyone in the world line dead because you
00:38:07.920 know when you're taking a territory like this historically if you do not absolutely wipe out
00:38:12.480 the world line then you're going to get the international court basically together at this
00:38:15.600 time and somebody's going to be like well they technically have claim here they technically have
00:38:18.480 claim here didn't want any sort of compromise but then i wanted to make sure that this was
00:38:22.320 internationally approved so i also had them go and look for a high-powered family in a one of our
00:38:28.560 most powerful neighboring countries to put them as the governess or governor of this territory this was
00:38:37.680 done to increase the chance that a large neighboring country would validate this territorial acquisition
00:38:43.600 making it easier to normalize on the international stage they did but they made the mistake of choosing
00:38:49.760 one of the lower age rank princesses of one of the most powerful countries i was like well you know
00:38:54.560 if she ends up inheriting the shirk throne then she'll likely take the territory with her so she
00:38:59.120 needs to publicly give up her right of ascension right now what we're working on is building out
00:39:05.440 because we've been working on railroad technology because it's a fairly simple technology that i remember
00:39:09.200 the gist of to build railroad networks between our kingdom and their kingdom as well as the neighboring
00:39:17.680 kingdom which provided the princess for this project and we're going to try to use that to
00:39:23.360 build closer connections between the two and lower the chance of revolt by improving the local economy
00:39:28.160 of all three regions if you're like oh that sounds really cool i want to learn how to play one of those
00:39:33.200 you know you see the links that i've provided here just some notes on how to use these whenever
00:39:37.440 you're describing an action that you're doing or something that's happening in the scenario put it in
00:39:41.680 brackets you can also use this brackets technique to skip time so if some event in the future is
00:39:47.200 being talked about within a strain of text you can put like brackets we walked into the house you
00:39:51.600 know because they're like oh why don't you come to my house a few days later and then brackets
00:39:55.200 walking into house with x person y person and z person or suppose you're in the haven one with the
00:40:00.400 drone and the drone's like i see footprints and you can put brackets we arrive at the source of the
00:40:05.680 footprints describe or something like that you can also sometimes if you want to cheat use brackets to
00:40:11.440 change what other people in the scenario are thinking you know in brackets x person thinks x or x
00:40:17.280 person thinks y you can regenerate text if it does something that you don't love while also deleting it
00:40:23.440 this is important if it misunderstands something or you miswrote something you do this by right
00:40:28.400 clicking on the text and you'll get a regenerate button made some janitor ai versions of these as well
00:40:33.360 janitor ai is slightly lower quality ai than sakura but you can use it longer for free and it's
00:40:41.120 much less likely to steer a conversation in a pc direction let's say for example i've had some
00:40:46.960 major problems with sakura and getting the drone that follows you around to be okay with you killing
00:40:52.480 random people even though it's supposed to be part of this world it always goes on politicizing about
00:40:57.360 how you you shouldn't be killing random people in this post-apocalyptic world also i'll note here
00:41:03.040 sometimes whichever one of these models you're using before you do something if you want to talk to
00:41:07.520 a specific person you will need to put that person's name in brackets and say speaking to x and then
00:41:13.360 what you want to say or it might mistake it is just oh he's talking to whoever um or whoever it
00:41:20.160 thinks is like the narrator like it's almost like a dream that you have perfect control over which is
00:41:28.160 absolutely awesome um and people are like well you're not experiencing it like a dream and it's like
00:41:33.520 well the thing it reminds me most of is when i was little my brother and i used to play this thing
00:41:37.600 we called the game and what the game was is both of us would just like make up a scenario like oh
00:41:43.360 we're fighting like the aliens are attacking and we're shooting at them and then the next person would
00:41:48.800 build on that but like you can do that with this because you can you can both talk in the system but
00:41:53.200 you can also put in brackets to make things happen right so again you could start with like that first
00:41:57.440 scene and then like in brackets like zerglings break through the stained glass windows of the
00:42:03.040 chapel the city is under attack by a full alien plague and then it's like you know you've just
00:42:08.400 gone in a completely different direction oh my goodness i do have two bones to pick additionally
00:42:14.240 with the analysis of ai dating assistants which is one absolutely emotional connections form which
00:42:20.640 is apparent in the issue of the many teens who talk about breaking up with their ai boyfriends and
00:42:26.800 being you know completely shook up by it or struggling to quit it and and literally failing
00:42:33.200 their classes because they can't stop playing with these these games these these stories these narratives
00:42:40.720 two i actually don't think this is a very accurate way of modeling people and i don't think it's for
00:42:47.040 the reason that this is given that oh ai can't handle the complexities of humans no i think the issue
00:42:54.560 is that these ais are designed to create regular and steady dopamine hits they are even if you ask it
00:43:04.720 to build a fairly boring or straightforward or basic character they're going to create
00:43:10.560 narratively rich responses to your prompts because that is how you stay hooked and that is
00:43:14.960 what reinforcement learning is all about it's about giving maximally satisfying responses you have
00:43:20.000 human dating partners no no they do that you can make it you can make them dumb you can make them
00:43:25.440 sundry yes but the way that they respond is still going to be maximally entertaining to you
00:43:30.640 and my argument is that basic humans and people that you date are intensely boring what is one of the
00:43:39.840 most common conversations you've ever had with pretty much anyone what do you want to do right now
00:43:43.920 where do you want to go i don't know where do you want to go this is no hold on you think that ai chat
00:43:49.680 bots don't sometimes end up in that exact same scenario or where do you want to go and the ai will
00:43:54.800 be like oh where do you want to go it absolutely does do that i don't know i feel but i do think that
00:44:02.320 these these systems are more designed for yes and and especially young teenage dating partners are not
00:44:08.880 they're not good conversational partners they're not stimulating they're not modeling you and trying
00:44:14.400 to create maximally entertaining responses for you and this ai stuff is so i think a big problem with
00:44:19.760 this is if we train our kids for example on ai chat bots they are going to be so disappointed in humans
00:44:28.080 so disappointed i think it's it's the it's the female equivalent or narrative equivalent to
00:44:33.920 online erotic material where there's of course this outrage i think it's overblown where everyone
00:44:41.440 is like young men expect their girlfriends to act like porn stars when they just can't but i think here
00:44:49.760 we're going to have young women and young men at expecting in the absence of any sexual activity
00:44:56.560 their partners to behave like romance novel partners and they're not going to and that's a problem
00:45:03.280 i disagree with you i think you're saying this because you haven't interacted with these systems
00:45:07.040 and i'm going to encourage our fans to try to create models okay um no no no both for male and
00:45:14.960 female dating okay send them to us and we will one pin them in the the the general comment section here
00:45:22.720 but two i want to do a future episode where each of us takes a crack at trying to get one of these
00:45:30.960 models on a date like what would we do on a date with one of these models and we can see if you
00:45:36.880 can try to make a boring one right like a boring model but i also want to make challenging models
00:45:41.280 stuff like that right like but realistic not a model that just absolutely hates the person that
00:45:45.840 they're interacting with so create some interesting models let's test them and give like a few default
00:45:52.160 models that i would recommend to people by doing tests with them on a future episode because i think
00:45:56.800 that would be really interesting all right tasting ai dating coaches tasting that would be really
00:46:04.480 good not in this form of dating coach but like actual ai dating simulations
00:46:10.640 that would be a lot of fun you could you could create very accurate with some of these systems
00:46:15.200 simones or malcolms
00:46:19.040 probably we do like to make ourselves as two-dimensional as possible
00:46:22.800 yeah it's capable of doing a lot more than that so should be easy all right love you simone i love
00:46:29.200 you too gorgeous i can't wait until we're giving our kids dating advice we're going to be the tiger moms
00:46:38.560 of dating we're going to be weird tiger mom pickup artists criticizing our kids game
00:46:45.840 that was terrible try again you went on four dates this week what is what is are you even trying
00:46:56.240 we'll get started here okay let's do it please like and subscribe and if you are working on any ai
00:47:02.560 projects and looking for a data center for training also let me know because i'm working
00:47:06.800 on a project i'm making that lower cost right now as well
00:47:17.200 you