Memetic Weaponization of Teen Girl Rageļ¼ The Tragic Case of Natalie Rupnow
Episode Stats
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Summary
In this episode, we dive deep into the case of a 15-year-old girl named Natalie Rapanau who went on to become one of the most infamous mass shooters in American history. We discuss her background, how she became radicalized, and why she may have been radicalized by the lack of hope in the modern world.
Transcript
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hello simone today we are going to be doing a deep dive on what some have called the fem cell
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shooter because of a incorrect and forged manifesto that was shared around shortly
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afterwards like she subscribed to fem cell ideology but if you dig deeper it was pretty
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obvious that it was forged like if you actually go into it and the real manifesto i was able to
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find it after a lot of research oh so there is a manifesto it's just that the wrong manifesto was
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shared at first yes because she idiotically forgot to make her document public before going on the
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mass shooting oh that's like when you accidentally forward an email to the wrong person you know
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her boyfriend had to make it public which i think really blows the idea of her being a fem cell out
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of the water um and as we go through because we'll go through a few of the longer snippets from
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her manifesto it'll be pretty clear that she is probably closest to a four channer in ideology
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like a stereotypical four channer very black belt and i would say that this shooting was downstream
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of an extreme black pilling of the youth who just don't believe there's hope in anything or that the
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older generation understands them or has any sort of plans for them or any good advice for them and
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yeah i agree with that across the board in terms of i i think that we are at risk of many more such
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shootings like this if we allow this rampant nihilism to continue to spread and it is being pushed by the
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newest update of the urban monoculture not the update from a couple generations ago not the one that
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has affected most adults but the new one sort of follows the the nothing strategy from never-ending
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story people have begun to lose their hopes and forget their dreams so the nothing grows stronger
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it's the emptiness that's left it is like a despair destroying this world and i have been trying to help
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it but why because people who have no hopes are easy to control i can't remember that all i remember
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from never ever ending story is is coming away with this like oppressive feeling of depression and
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nihilism what what is what what is that in what do you just is is it those without hope are easy to
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control okay okay okay well and that's checked out that seems to be what's going on okay when you when
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you get rid of human creativity and human ingenuity and hope for a better future even though i've like
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literally never i actually sat down with simone and it's like you know we may live to a post-work era
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like when we are old it might be that only work is happening voluntarily which is pretty wild to think
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about yeah there is a lot of reason to be optimistic about the future but i wouldn't have been optimistic
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about her place in it because she seemed exceedingly stupid and we'll go into that as well wow okay
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fighting words okay not really when you when you read it you're like really yeah i know nothing about
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this so yeah please bring me up to speed okay great and the thing that will surprise people just
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first i'll put some pictures on screen here of her is she is white and for a 15 year old girl it looks
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like she would have grown up to be a fairly attractive woman she's going through her awkward
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teenage phase at this point no i'm not i'd say probably top 10 attractiveness in terms of she was
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okay so yeah she wasn't deformed she wasn't and she had a boyfriend like so she wasn't she was
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thin she was had a decent looking face and again this is all in the context of i am trying to judge
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a 15 year old's future attractiveness not me talking about how attractive she was i think you're
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also trying to point out like is this because she was incredibly ugly in some way that would lead her
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to be bullied and extra blackpilled by the world because she wasn't attractive but that clearly wasn't
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the issue yeah that clearly was a technical issue with her appearance in a way that could
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have radicalized her it had to have been something else is what you're saying she comes off and you'll
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see this as i go through this if you're familiar of the story of creepy chan pretty similar to creepy
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chan oh okay or or early bella delphine if you're familiar with her story okay um where she was basically
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raised in environments like 4chan um and tried to customize her appearance and humor and attitude
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to be like that that people on those sites respect um okay so the attack took place during a oh sorry
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on december 16th 2024 tragic shooting occurred at the abundant life christian school in madison wisconsin
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the shooter has been identified as natalie rapanau a 15 year old female student who also went by the
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name samantha or sam you see in some of the correspondence here is what we know about the
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incident and the shooter the attack took place during a study hall session resulting in the deaths
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of two people a teacher and another teenage student six others were injured with two in critical
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condition rapanau died from what the authorities believed to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound the gun
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used was a nine millimeter handgun her parents melissa and jeff rapanau had been divorced and remarried
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multiple times she mentions this in her manifesto they had a joint custody arrangements that sometime
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required natalie to move between homes every few days uh enroll natalie in therapy to help her cope
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with the custody arrangements and natalie had joined a shooting range with her father in the months before
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the incident and a photo from august showed her at the firing range wearing protective gear and handling a
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firearm her father was quite proud of this and they seemed to or he believed that she enjoyed her time
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there um she also participated in karate competitions now she was intensely obsessed with school
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shooters and in her manifesto talks about a number she considers herself a fangirl of so we'll get to that
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oh wow okay normally martial arts and uh participating in in safe firearm use at a gun range is correlated
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with more responsible gun use behavior so this was surprising yeah well no she she it's clear that she went
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into all of this with the intention of doing a school shooting oh like she wasn't raised with it it kind of was
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something she she talked her dad into okay so it's not like her dad raised her going to gun ranges like
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this is gun safety we're a gun family it was more like hey dad i really want to go to the gun range together
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it'll help us bond wouldn't you like me to like you more than my mom etc something like that yeah and
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we'll see later in this her argument for why she did this could basically be boiled down to i decided
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that my life had no hope and the future has no hope so i decided to commit suicide but wouldn't that
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be a lame way to die why don't i remove some other weak genes from the gene pool in the process and remove
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some of the filth that is humanity from the planet of the earth oh come on
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uh all right so she's she sort of was an anti-natalist you could almost argue but like an
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in-cell black pill version of an anti-natalist yeah that anti-natalist the anti-natalist view is
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let's just all end the line you know it ends with us but keep in mind she also believed quote unquote
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she she had written this that she was the mistake they never wanted of her parents and speaking of
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both school and home they look at me but don't see me i am invisible until i do something they can't
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ignore and she actually i'll just go straight for the document i think that's a better way to do it
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okay but before i go into the document i also wanted to talk a bit about how this document was found and
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you know what i'll just put the tweets on screen here but yeah there's a series of tweets about the
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fake fem cell version of the manifesto that was going around and that is what actually motivated
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the release of the real document the boyfriend was not going to release it at at start but people
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were basically like look people are using this to uh spread like an ideology that wasn't hers using her
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death like either release the real document or this fake document's going to gain more traction
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um i will note some interesting things about going through the entire manifesto because it was like
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four or five pages is that it doesn't really talk about sexual frustration it doesn't really talk
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about her anything about being a woman or anything like that as being a bad thing so it doesn't appear
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to be particularly gender-based although she does think that everyone has a disgusting body she
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mentions that at one point but that is not like a oh i'm angry at men sort of saying she doesn't
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mention politics at all in the in the document so this wasn't anything that was particularly
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politically motivated she doesn't mention anything that seems stereotypically woke she seems to have
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been fairly allergic to that and a lot of it is basically self-pitying i guess i'd say she's a
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teenage girl yeah yeah all right so i'll start quoting here maybe you'll see me as a weirdo a freak
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just as some of you do now but i'm not i'm not like the others i would never want to be like them
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we'll always be freaks and we'll never be like other people you're boring and you're totally ordinary
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and you know it was how they think and what they do on a simple day i hate how the population thinks
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grows and talks about how they make romance fake if only some days we could do a public execution
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that would be gladly needed i wouldn't mind throwing some stones at idiots or even watching
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from the far back when they get hanged and then so you you get a lot of stuff like this like very
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violent sort of 4chan-y but also very self-pitying and very desiring to be unique i am not like other
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people is a constant theme of this which we've seen there's like teenage girls go this is a classic
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teenage girl yeah they could have maybe even cured had she seen american beauty there's nothing worse
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in life than being ordinary i know because it would have made her feel so embarrassed about having
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these ideas yeah or like the virgin suicides yeah she'd just be like oh this is too basic i can't do
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that but yeah it was painful hearing that because it sound parts of it sounded like my teenage diaries
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my angsty days and we have those right we should like read them at some point on the show
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maybe not but they are very fun to read well when i was especially when i was a teen they were
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incredibly angsty and i reading this takes me back i mean part of me is thinking it's a wonder
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more girls don't do school shootings you know because in the end like they're scary you know people are
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afraid of teen boys in school shooting it's the girls who are scary that's why we originally decided
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to have boys first because i was terrified of having two teen girls leading the tone in our family
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i will note here teen girls almost never commit mass shootings this is very rare yeah this is extremely
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there have been more mass shootings by trans women in the last four years i think than there have been
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by women in the last 20 years that makes sense she is bringing dei to school shootings uh she's
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shooting the glass ceiling um as it were but i am thinking also about the salem witch trials you know
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this was an incredibly violent series of events that was driven by yeah very very very good point uh
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getting a little bit when she's like i would like to throw a rock at them i would like to watch
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as they you know get executed she could be in salem right so you're not an american and you don't know
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what she's referring to describe the salem witch trials quickly so the salem witch trials took place
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in the town of salem massachusetts when a bunch of pilgrims sort of had a mass hysteria event led by a small
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cabal group clique of female teenage girls who started accusing various members of the town
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of witchcraft there was a slave involved who kind of got coerced into feeding into the narrative as
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well i think she might have been the first adult to kind of feed into this witchcraft narrative and
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accusing people of practicing witchcraft but in the end a sizable number of people were killed one
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very you know innocent man was crushed to death in a pretty ballsy way he basically just whenever they
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asked him to confess his sins he would just say more weight and it was it was one of these instances
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of teenage females being incredibly violent and evil and machiavellian and uncaring and psychopathic
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and so this doesn't seem too far from that and i think having been a teenage female i i get that
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there's they're scary they're scarier than teenage boys by a long shot when they yeah when they decide
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to go scary by the way a movie i'd note if you want to watch a movie about teen girls being crazy
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that i think it's really good and hugely underrated ginger snaps too uh not one ginger snaps too amazing
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movie hugely like under underplayed as a cult classic see that's crazy in a fun way and i think what
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would have been what would have been more helpful in terms of making the concept of being a school
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shooter and suicidal school school shooter to cringe for this young lady would have been something like
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the virgin suicides or american beauty like you pointed out yeah no i agree and there hasn't been
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a movie like that in a really long time yeah it's been too long too long since we have made it cringe to
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be a young teenage girl we're desiring to be it's a public service clearly you know we gotta get back to
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this make it too you know too basic yeah okay so here is a quote from it that i think will throw off
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the idea that this might have been an overly left-leaning person so here obviously i'm not
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going to say the n-word but she uses the n-word um oh boy and then she says but it's only in one
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section like one paragraph she mentions this and it's a complete non sequitur where it is in the
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document she's just doing it to be edgy is she's just trying to look make it clear that she's not
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edgy i suppose some of the other shooters she admired did it and then she decided she was really
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trying to like simp for male mass school shooters this is this is clearly part of this for her i think
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fangirling is another bad symptom or just uncomfortable symptom of being a teenage female you know this is
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just one of those perfect storms of every way in which teenage female female hood was manifested in
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her was manifested in exactly the wrong flavor yes so she says in words though worse once you sleep
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with them you are one i don't care who you think you are or what you think you've done good for this
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world of yours it will never matter because you will always have no thought and no brain to continue
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with i hate looking at some of the people in society when seeing what they are and what they do
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with their lives like how does one do that but i know how out of scum and just pure retardedness so
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you can see it's very like meandering and doesn't really have a point it's almost like somebody trained
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in ai on 4chan yeah yeah to go further here i'm glad to be different and not the same as other people
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i know how to be formal i know how to use my words even if i get mad at you there has always been a good
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reason whether or not i despise you or just because i can there's always been a good reason
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either i despise you or just because i can i don't know that's a good reason just because i can
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again this is so teenage girl writing uh guys very teenage it's teenage girl distilled
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some of you guys really do deserve the execution punishment rather painful or not you deserve to be
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dead but yet doesn't the whole world deserve that the main target has been anyone with some sort of
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feeling or being or knowing any action to turn you wrong and left rather than the right and the better
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so i that might be saying that she's right wing there i can't really make it out this is what she
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had to say after praising a number of other mass shooters about the columbine mass shooters she goes
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i've looked into him since like 2021 and 2022 and she has a picture of him and i've just realized
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how much potential bombs have but it's not just that though it's his strategy his own method and
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what led him to do it and the fact that he stuck to that some of his fangirls are like really strange
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in my opinion but like aren't all fangirls so she's like questioning being in this fangirl community
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for school shooters and then she goes on to say there are also others i admire or so i'd like to say
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look up to and or find interesting otherwise most are just interesting to me unlike those retarded
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fag fucks who simp over them like come on just stop so you can see very it just sounds like a
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yeah go on no but we live in a society i we had a teen girl who we were helping at one point and she
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would say stuff that sounded sort of like this sometimes not like this but like very like i'm
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different no one's like me and i'm like everybody thinks that the number one thing you need to remember
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when you're a teenager is be nice to your parents that's i'd say the number one thing i'd impart to
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teenagers because that's going to be the strongest instinct that you need to overcome to learn to
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intergenerationally strive because what's also just so interesting is it's hard for me to model like i
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have never seen this trope come through in a teenage girl or boy who is from a large family they just
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yeah i have something that having a lot of siblings and having a life in which by design you are presented
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with responsibilities and limitations and hardship but in a meaningful way and by meaningful i mean
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it's because there's something else that matters more instead of just oh this random bad thing happened
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you know it's funny that you mentioned that not a single school shooter i'm aware of has been from a
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large family yeah has had more than one sibling from my understanding maybe that's wild actually
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well we have to look up that claim of course and actually check okay so i went through a lot of
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ai is trying to find if any could find a single school shooter from an intact family with more than
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one sibling i'm even talking just two siblings could not find a single one now some had parents who had
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remarried or married other people and had a number of half siblings but here i'm looking for large
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intact families it seems to have a hundred percent protection rate against somebody going crazy and
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becoming a school shooter which is just wild and you know the next time somebody's like hey we need
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to stop these school shootings we should ban guns you can be like or start having lots of kids again that
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would also stop it but yeah i just even even when it comes to general angstiness sullenness
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no of course even in hannah's children the amazing book on on like very big prenatalist families
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there were some families that reported having depressed teens teens were struggling a little
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bit but not in an angsty weird way like this i just you pointed out to me i thought it was really
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interesting is there was a case called the wolf children of five kids that were raised in a cramped
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manhattan apartment like a small studio apartment in manhattan which they only left once per year if that
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some years they didn't leave at all yeah and there was like seven or eight of them living together
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it might have been as high as 12 but they were smaller than yeah it was maybe in the like seven
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range it was a lot they ended up becoming like they did a video documentary on them and if you watch
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the documentary cognitively and emotionally they are much more mature than most random teenagers you
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would meet yes which is crazy yes you would expect them to be completely out of whack and and and
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terribly regulated and everything but but in the end living with those limitations living in such
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close quarters with other people having to make that work forced them to be reasonable and patient and
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no i don't i don't think that that's my takeaway from it my takeaway from it is that the cognitive
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stabilization and benefits of having lots of siblings is so astronomically high it can outweigh
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being locked in a room your entire life basically you can be raised like a feral child basically and
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if you have lots of siblings you will be better off than your you know a single kid who's going to
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tennis camp and going to the shooting range with her dad and who the parents spend tons of time on
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that is how much it matters in terms of cognitive stability to have a huge number of siblings well i
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think siblings are very grounding because they constantly remind you that the world isn't about
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you that everything's not just about you and your needs that you are not entitled to anything you know
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and that you can gain a lot of benefit from caring for other people and enjoy feel feel genuine reward
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and pleasure by helping someone else before you help yourself there's just so many good things that
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come from it and i as someone who had bad dreams as an only child in which my parents told me i was
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going to have a little sibling you know who just thought it was the worst thing ever to have siblings
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it's so weird for me to now acknowledge this i feel a little uncomfortable saying it
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yeah all right so i'm gonna keep going here yeah i've nobody knows i'm doing this i've got the
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weapons by lies and manipulation and my father's stupidity oh i planned on shooting myself a while
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ago but thought maybe it's better for evolution rather than just one stupid boring suicide which
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hopefully i'll reach that point i planned this myself and nobody else i act alone there would have
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been no way to change what happened you can't and never will know you never cared too much to know
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anything about me i'm glad you don't know so clearly here this is like i'm better than my caretaker
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and teens go through this phase do they think their parents are idiots these are all very natural
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feelings and again i think the problem is that she it's also it's it's a natural important thing
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as well i think as a teenager and as someone becoming an adult in the process of becoming an adult to
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realize that yeah you don't matter no one cares what you think no one cares how you feel you really
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don't matter i think an issue that i i i see with modern parenting is that
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you're being gaslit as a teen and told that your feelings do matter and people do care what you think
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absolutely yes and her parents are like oh no you're so special we care what you think you mean so much
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to us but she knows it's not true and now she's dealing with it in this really obviously toxic and
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tragic way yes and i know this is the interesting thing when you look at like why she's mad at her
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parents and stuff like that everyone's like oh you guys are so horrible to your kids like you bought
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them you you know etc like how could you do that i haven't seen anything like that kids don't whine
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about stuff like that in their letters like this or manifestos like this it's like my parents got
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divorced and remarried multiple times my parents didn't take the time to understand me my parents
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were stupid and weak that's the general complaints you see about parents in fact i i see the i was
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disgusted at how weak my parents are specifically my father was to be the most common complaint in the
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incel world um really well i think most people if they're not i i guess okay yes being a teen you
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you hit this point where you discover that your mother and dad are not god that they are not flawless
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they do not know everything because i think there's this period between we'll say i don't know we haven't
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hit it with our with our kids yet maybe maybe from six to ten where kids seem to think very highly of
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their parents and then it hits them oh my gosh these people are human and it's this huge upset and
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that's normal that's very normal it is normal but what i what i was noting here is that if you are
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afraid of failing your kids somewhere on the spectrum if you read a lot of the writing that
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young people are putting out there which i have because you know i spent time on like before chan and
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crystal cafe and all this stuff the complaint that young people have about their parents which
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i'm trying to hit home is not the complaint that previous generations had oh that they were too strict
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with me they were too it's not they were too strict with me it's not that they were never around
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it's either and i've seen this this this mirrored complaint a lot and she seems to argue this complaint
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as well it's that my mom settled for a weak man like she should have been more what's the word here
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hypergamous yeah she should have been more hypergamous basically this is a complaint people
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have why isn't my mom what they blame the weakness of their father for their own weakness they're like
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i am either weak or ugly or not motivated or not creative because i got bad genes from my dad
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that is weird that's a meme like that's a thing it's like a hardcore yes a hardcore meme especially
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and it makes sense because when you break out of the urban monoculture the first thing that people
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realize and that floods are made if you have any like degree of breaking out and young people are
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going to break out always so what the urban monoculture has been pushing with them is nihilism
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but then oh human genes exist and i am a large part a reflection of my genes so if i'm a young kid
00:27:01.340
and i hate myself it must be because i have bad genes and then there's this sort of side assumption
00:27:07.200
which is and i don't know why the moms always get a pass but they generally seem to get a pass in
00:27:12.740
these like her mom this is me i think it's because i thought teen girls really hate their moms
00:27:19.740
she i mean it's not that she liked her mom but i think it's that she learned from incel forms
00:27:26.040
how to speak about her dad and the way to speak about her dad that
00:27:29.340
i just have more to say about men yeah well i think it's more disgusting to be weak as a male
00:27:37.220
if a female is weak in our society we don't treat that as like this huge failure whereas if a male
00:27:46.560
doesn't stand his ground or show discipline and order for his kids or show a vision and and a desire
00:27:53.560
to achieve that for his own life um it's very easy for kids to grow up denigrating him
00:27:59.080
and you'll see this a lot so i just think that people are hugely optimizing for things kids don't
00:28:03.900
care about kids don't care how frequently you're around that was like two generations ago kids don't
00:28:09.240
care uh that you're too strict or you're shoving your value system on them uh what kids do care about
00:28:14.740
in this generation is you being pathetic so be careful about that um okay so next i've always been
00:28:22.220
a quiet kid i say or at least that's what everyone else around me has said and never really had the
00:28:27.300
brains for most things because i wasn't smart enough for people around me even though i'm good
00:28:31.760
at science and some stuff nobody really looked at me in a good way in elementary or middle school
00:28:37.520
nor even high school right now doesn't matter much because i like being alone very sour grapesy right
00:28:43.340
like i want attention but i also don't want to deal with people sometimes i just hate being picked on
00:28:48.480
but yet i mourn for friends but sooner than later they'll leave my therapist sucks he's just some
00:28:55.020
weak fat guy who doesn't deserve everything he has now nobody deserves anything good so a lot of this
00:29:01.240
is based over so scary i don't know what to say like very teen girl like that's why i believe this
00:29:06.580
like i read this and i was like this is so no this is this checks out i i have i don't know what the
00:29:12.080
other fem cell manifesto the fake one red like but this is not questionable yeah i would i mean if it
00:29:20.300
didn't seem like something written by a teen girl i would have just assumed that it was a teen girl
00:29:25.200
using ai but i don't think anyone has so little dignity that they would use ai to write their
00:29:30.300
oh no it has so many mistakes in it i mean the grammar the grammatical mistakes i'm making here are not me
00:29:35.940
misreading it like it's really poorly structured like it's clear that this was not a fully educated human
00:29:41.420
being and a lot of people said actually this is pretty normal grasp of english of 15 year olds
00:29:46.160
these days just because the education system is so bad yeah and the other reason i believe this one
00:29:52.360
is because it doesn't seem to have an agenda it's not painting her as a specific type of person
00:29:57.760
and there's an awful lot of complaint about why she hates her parents for silly reasons
00:30:02.340
yeah it's just it's just female again like i ah i was what i think is interesting is the repeated
00:30:10.360
like not just her dad but like other male authority figures in her life that is interesting
00:30:14.860
by their weakness yeah she's disgusted by the weakness of society which she sees as filthy
00:30:21.060
i think that's a product for sure of what she's been exposed to that we have this equation of
00:30:29.540
female angst which is the the volume is turned way way up by being an only child or an almost only child
00:30:38.280
with hands-on parents and a stifling smothering society and then she's exposed to this series of
00:30:47.360
memes that's very tough on men and rather than turn her hate inward like a lot of teenage girls do and
00:30:55.620
just do the normal thing start cutting develop an eating disorder go trans she decides to then become
00:31:01.980
a school shooter so she is quite indeed not like other girls in that way well i mean think about the
00:31:08.200
way that she's approaching this which i find really fascinating is that if you look at the
00:31:12.660
fem cells they look at men and are like there is a patriarchal structure that is stomping on us
00:31:18.880
there is like it's this cabal of men they see men as like this unifying force that like they work
00:31:24.300
together they check each other yeah represents a new wave of disgust and anger with men which is to say
00:31:32.160
why are men so weak why why as growing up are the men i see so disgustingly self like like desiring
00:31:43.620
affirmation desiring of of of weak and pathetic things where are the strong men the men that i
00:31:50.960
want around me the men that i want in society which is such a different complaint than you would get from
00:31:56.640
a typical fem cell right you know it's almost like a true fem cell and that she's like outright
00:32:02.640
admitting it like what i mean by this is it's not that i can't get anyone to sleep with me it's that
00:32:07.260
no men are worthy of existing in this society although again she did have a boyfriend so
00:32:12.860
to continue my so-called family never included me because i was too weird for them again this whole
00:32:21.700
like i'm different thing my father never treated me with respect my father was always make me stand
00:32:27.580
out in the worst possible way yet bring up how i fail at school or can't get out of bed simply because
00:32:33.760
i don't want to leave home he makes me look like a freak to his family and friends he says so much
00:32:39.260
but look on his bad side so here you see this is something that that young girls especially in in
00:32:45.000
your diary even saw this you were like why am i freaking out that like my parents are cheering for me
00:32:49.460
at a sports game like they're trying to be nice you had the ability to like have some self-reflection
00:32:54.900
on like why do i care that my parents are trying to oh i'm crazy that's what's happening and i'd also
00:33:01.200
point out here that what kids are afraid of is their parents in impotent ways trying to get them to do
00:33:08.320
things it's not their parents in effective ways trying to get them to do things and i think it's
00:33:14.600
yeah of the way her father interacted with her as well as the social shaming and connection of
00:33:20.660
himself to her in these you know big in-person environments that created this kind of language
00:33:26.040
one of the ways i think that will really help avoid this with our daughters and boys for that
00:33:33.820
extent is i really want to include them in the podcast i really want to include them in our social
00:33:40.240
media in the same way that i talk with you i'd love to have days where it's one of them or something
00:33:45.620
like that you know or two of them instead of us you know makes this more of a family affair and i think
00:33:51.160
that if you have somebody regularly publicly broadcasting the way that they're thinking about
00:33:55.680
things and people notice red flags like the type of red flags that she was clearly exhibiting
00:34:02.020
they can help constructively steer them back onto a good path and these sorts of deep conversations
00:34:08.600
where she got to signal what she thought is something that is clear that she just wasn't
00:34:14.580
having with important people in her life yeah yeah that's a good point it was all going online or
00:34:26.060
then people can be like well won't your kids find some outlet like that unlikely because if your parents
00:34:33.920
and this is the way that's actually happened to me now because we have such a big audience i
00:34:37.500
like stopped responding to facebook or comments or anything like that because i'm like i know this
00:34:43.480
person has built rage in me and i want to explain to them why they're so stupid but why am i wasting
00:34:48.320
time responding to this person when at any given time day or night there's over 100 people watching me
00:34:52.660
like i i should be focused on the messages that i'm putting out to a wider platform not this one
00:34:58.160
individual on facebook who pissed me off yeah maybe and there's also that element that i think
00:35:04.880
a lot of everyone uh wants to be heard in some way and for many people feeling like they're heard by
00:35:13.440
some audience online maybe some way to make them feel better i suppose so like she might have felt
00:35:20.520
sufficiently heard if she felt she had an audience that engaged with her ideas however small it may be
00:35:26.700
i don't know i'm not sure no but it's really hard no it's clear she mentioned that a few times if she
00:35:33.400
had a wider audience she wouldn't have done this oh wow okay but because a lot of the social capital
00:35:39.680
of today's use is based on how many people are watching you are looking at you online which i think
00:35:45.000
she felt like especially as ai begins to grow like am i ever gonna have that am i ever gonna have
00:35:50.200
people who care what i say or think or am doing it's interesting all right so next i was the wrong
00:35:57.880
child of the family my parents admit they didn't want me nor ever did even if i'm grown i'm always
00:36:04.160
the one who sat or sat around in the other room because they didn't want to interact with me
00:36:07.840
at any point in time then i stayed in my room all day during the day and night and after and before
00:36:14.980
school as well again you can see incredibly bright and this is why i don't think that this is a faked
00:36:21.180
manifesto i would say articulate the word you're looking for is articulate she could be very bright
00:36:25.820
and just not have been instructed well in writing okay but i think if she was you know she would have
00:36:31.920
at least put it through an ai to fix the grammar i mean if it's the last thing that's going out there
00:36:35.640
i think a lot of people don't show their kids these resources we've met plenty of kids of really
00:36:40.940
really smart articulate people who have not even really told their kids about ai and they live in
00:36:49.820
sheltered enough worlds where they're not using those tools to cheat on everything yet i think
00:36:53.960
that ai adoption is pretty lumpy even among young people that makes sense that makes sense yeah maybe
00:37:01.000
she just didn't engage with it i also want to note on this last one i thought was pretty interesting
00:37:05.160
is she talks about her parents not wanting her and this brings me to the part of pronatalism that i get
00:37:10.640
so disgusted with which is a pronatalist that are like it is pronatalist to ban condoms and to ban
00:37:16.720
pornography oh and it's like we want someone to get someone pregnant because like they couldn't like
00:37:21.320
get off like is that are you really that like insane of a person like no we don't want the people
00:37:28.580
to exist who only exist because their parents lacked self-control yeah not cool not cool insane actually
00:37:37.420
i am not hate i am simply pointing this out you and the system will always suck therefore we need
00:37:44.100
a revolution nobody understands that though nor do people understand the fact that they probably sat
00:37:49.240
next to me in class and never thought a single word about me nor ever really thought to i don't
00:37:54.560
really care though to be honest nobody really has such teen angst here first of all like she wants
00:38:01.780
people to think about her and to notice her but she also wants to not focus on people we talk about
00:38:07.920
what it is to go through puberty as a young girl and it's a desire to be treasured um that's not what
00:38:14.240
she's feeling in society and it was not something she was able to generate well it's it's horrible because
00:38:19.800
it's a desire to be treasured often accompanied by not always but often accompanied by a disgust with
00:38:25.760
one's self because you're going through puberty and it doesn't always look that great you know
00:38:32.520
it didn't look great right it was her it was not bad oh okay lucky her must be nice uh the video i
00:38:41.540
mean the interesting thing is that she seemed almost pathologically against like a makeup or trying to
00:38:45.580
doll herself up at any extent and she still looks pretty fine oh wow wow you know so i i yeah that was not
00:38:55.660
the issue with her you you say this knowing you you can admit this was the issue with me right you
00:39:01.060
didn't think i looked okay right i don't know i think you guys are probably around the same
00:39:05.620
attractiveness level oh no then she probably felt super ugly because i looked freaking horrible okay
00:39:10.660
yeah then if you thought i looked okay as an adolescent then we have words oh as an adolescence i'm
00:39:18.000
talking today as an adolescence yeah you probably would have been by average person considered less
00:39:22.580
attractive than her yeah okay okay okay yeah all right so she was yeah okay i just want to calibrate
00:39:28.120
there no but i don't know what goes through her ugly duckling phase is not saying i became a swan but
00:39:34.940
i'm not at the nadir of my attractive hold on what i'm saying here is this is actually in okay so
00:39:43.060
it is weird to have to try to judge the attractiveness of a 15 year old girl because she's
00:39:48.580
a kid right well especially well and it's also sad that well okay maybe it's not because i was gonna
00:39:54.740
say i don't remember other people reading the attractiveness of the colobine shooters but i think
00:39:59.960
they just just just google her this is so bad oh yeah no no she's attractive
00:40:07.440
she looks very sad but she's she's an attractive no definitely she looks way better than i did as a
00:40:16.340
teen poor thing i mean i feel okay so you see what i mean when i'm like top 10 percent of women right
00:40:23.960
her age yeah oh yeah oh yeah yeah no but it's weird to be sorry i i will say it is weird to have to say
00:40:33.200
this about a 15 year old but it's actually important because when you're talking about
00:40:36.940
teenage girls a huge part of angst or hatred with the world can come from perceptions of their
00:40:44.440
own attractiveness vis-a-vis other individuals yeah and so it's important to be able to say
00:40:49.660
no she was not unattractive if anything she was only attracted into the spectrum
00:40:54.860
for somebody who never did also though let's keep you know very common issue body dysmorphia
00:41:01.880
and teenage girls i mean well she doesn't complain ever about being an attractive she doesn't yeah she
00:41:07.900
doesn't so that that clearly wasn't the issue here the issue here was well maybe i mean maybe she would
00:41:14.100
have been better off if she was body dysmorphic because then her hatred would have turned inward and
00:41:18.280
like i said she would have either gone trans or interact i think that might be part of what led her to
00:41:23.700
this form of radicalization yeah she didn't she wasn't hating herself enough she needed to hate
00:41:28.200
herself more she didn't have an obvious excuse for all of the emotion she was feeling she didn't have
00:41:35.300
a she wasn't ugly enough yeah because i'm ugly or oh i'm feeling this because i'm trans or oh i'm
00:41:40.420
feeling this because i'm you know ex-discriminated group you know she had she was a white straight girl
00:41:46.680
right like above average attractiveness so there was no outlet other than just no it's just
00:41:53.260
society that's broken when you get this black built and i also think that her goal for trying
00:42:00.440
to fix society is interesting because she didn't feel like she had agency to do that which is a huge
00:42:05.440
thing we focus on with our kids and future day and all that yeah you have the agency to fix it
00:42:11.400
yeah that's messed up yeah that she but i don't i think that was all just a just so
00:42:19.260
story there that i'm you know taking myself out and she just hurt and she was angry and it was
00:42:27.480
displaced aggression against herself and others that she turned to yeah and the final one continue
00:42:35.940
so the final line here i clip is the wolf hunts its prey and continues life with no other bruises or scars
00:42:45.020
there is no predator and prey anymore it is all filth walking there's nothing more with filth it simply
00:42:52.860
cannot die or make hunts real if only they want is value finally one learns that boredom is a disease
00:43:02.080
of civilization that's what she concluded her manifesto is
00:43:06.500
so it's ennui again yeah and if you look at her social media posts they're very like pay attention
00:43:16.000
to me sort of stuff leading up to this they were things like the quiet ones always strike the loudest
00:43:21.000
and i'm broken i'm what you made me they're almost like live laugh love of teenage angst i plan to be a
00:43:28.400
school shooter she just had that that pinterest board oh what we should not be making light this is bad
00:43:33.980
i i they're not this is no it is no we should be this is the way that you prevent this is you make
00:43:41.120
light of it in a way where people who have these feelings realize that they are so basic they should
00:43:49.020
be scoffed at and not to air them because this is not what she expected she expected to be thought of
00:43:55.000
as weird or different or out there because that's what she wanted to be thought of as unique not basic
00:44:01.840
yeah that's the biggest fear of every teenage girl is that they'll be thought of as ordinary
00:44:09.400
oh no i'll put the american beauty there's anything worse than being ordinary you haven't even seen
00:44:16.980
american beauty all the way through i tried to watch it with you and you like stopped no but i'm gonna
00:44:20.980
give you clips from virgin suicides because that also is just so
00:44:24.900
you're not even old enough to know how bad life gets obviously doctor you've never been a 13 year
00:44:32.720
old girl and then other clips here quotes the countdown has begun they'll know what i mean when
00:44:40.280
the time comes um well and i i do wonder what if the boyfriend has access to this google doc did he not
00:44:48.740
no this is not google doc stuff this is stuff she was posting publicly leading up to this no no but i'm
00:44:54.160
referring to the google doc manifesto that he shared i wouldn't have thought that this definitely meant
00:44:59.780
a school shooting was coming this is i mean you know you weren't 90 genuinely my thoughts so i was
00:45:06.620
a boyfriend is she's gonna spell check this before she does the school shooting like i'm gonna like a
00:45:12.000
grammar check this before uh i'll get scared when she grammar checks her manifesto but an ungrammar
00:45:19.260
checked manifesto i'm like she's probably not no one's gonna leave that public you've been seriously
00:45:23.800
depressed before you just kind of things fall through the cracks you know here here are some
00:45:28.600
other social media posts leading up to this okay i am a shadow but i will make them see oh
00:45:34.300
well if she wasn't dead already she'd die of the cringe as she read back what she posted
00:45:44.460
uh yeah actually a lot of this reads to me somebody who might have become like an interesting
00:45:50.300
based person if they had made it out of this phase that's the that is the tragedy that is i mean well
00:45:55.600
the the tragedies the the innocent people too who were killed by this which is devastating i i mean we
00:46:02.880
we freak out i mean our son asked to go to public school and one of my first thoughts when we're like
00:46:09.900
well i mean you want to try it out but i'm like oh i don't want him to get shot you know it's it's just
00:46:18.920
a thing in american public schools and i don't like that and this is no no stanley well do you want to
00:46:30.180
tell your father about what happened at school today oh i flunked my math quiz no the other thing
00:46:36.040
what other thing oh the school shooting yes the school shooting oh yeah some kids shot up the
00:46:44.560
school was it you no did you get shot no oh well what's this about failing a math quiz
00:46:52.800
yeah that's really sad we should get flak jackets for our kids
00:46:58.380
good weight training anyway you know i'd that actually be quite a thing and i think we should
00:47:05.500
do it is our kids go to school in flak jackets if he won't leave public school we will send him
00:47:10.800
in a bulletproof vest and other people might make fun of him and he's like hey school shootings are
00:47:16.060
real like he'd be known as like such a thing on on on campus oh he'd just be like punch me bro
00:47:22.800
because he keeps saying bro now yeah my god bro he won't stop bro
00:47:28.380
everything's bro oh boy jeez okay i'm gonna i need to get him on like 1950s
00:47:36.980
slang that'd be much better gee willikers gee willikers come at me sir
00:47:43.420
but yeah you're you're right i love you dad simone and i i think it's important to
00:47:48.880
investigate things like this so that we can learn how to raise our kids better and to avoid becoming
00:47:56.480
this sort of person you know because people are always like oh your kids are gonna like kill you
00:48:00.480
or go crazy or whatever right and i think that it's very important that we investigate why people
00:48:07.960
actually go crazy like what are they talking about well so let's break it down make sure they're heard
00:48:13.580
give them agency because she really didn't feel like she had agency in the world give them hardship
00:48:20.260
and responsibility and like you know make them touch grass and by make them touch grass i mean
00:48:24.400
surround them with things that make them realize that the world is not all about them that there
00:48:29.120
are other people around them who also have needs and also live in the world so they don't realize
00:48:34.420
they realize that they're a small yes they're small and yes they're meaningless but they can also fix
00:48:39.440
things and make a big difference in other people's lives and in the world you know because
00:48:43.040
she got in half the way there right i'm small i'm meaningless no one cares but she didn't go
00:48:48.360
a little bit further to be like oh and because other people don't care about me they only care
00:48:54.120
about themselves i can impact their lives in a way that's very meaningful to them you know and i can
00:48:58.320
change the world because a lot of people are very thoughtless and not changing and i think the final
00:49:03.940
thing is have a masculine goal-directed figure in their lives and when people hear masculine today in an
00:49:12.120
online environment what they hear is oh like andrew right yeah and i always point out no no no you
00:49:19.140
don't want to be the claudius from the movie gladiator you want to or the commodus from gladiator
00:49:23.700
you want to be the maximus you want to be the the leader the person was a vision for a better future
00:49:31.540
because that is what women actually are drawn to they are drawn to individuals with agency who want
00:49:37.340
to make the world a better place and have a plan for doing that yeah at least an aspiration of doing
00:49:43.260
that if you look at her complaints about her father it's stuff like he sat around all day smoking weed
00:49:51.720
this sort of when i hug our kids each night and tell them that i love them and tell them that their job
00:50:02.420
is to fix the world and they promise to fix the world i really mean it i'm like i really need you
00:50:07.320
to fix the world octavian torsen like please you don't understand like but actually i love it
00:50:16.960
because no one else is that's always a weird thing to me that so many people are like wow you guys like
00:50:23.580
so have like main character syndrome and it's like no one else is doing anything like what you have to
00:50:29.560
have main character syndrome main character syndrome isn't a bad thing everything of grandeur in this
00:50:35.560
world was achieved by somebody with delusions of grandeur that is the all grandeur starts with
00:50:41.780
delusions yes it is it is proper that is the only way you fix things you have to be willing to have the
00:50:48.580
type of aspirations for yourself and for the future that when you tell someone like noah's art they're
00:50:53.160
like wow that's fucking crazy and you're like well no one else is doing it
00:50:58.400
anyway love you to death have a great day i love you too hug your family
00:51:05.700
and be nice to your parents people if you're a teenager and you want to look down on them
00:51:12.580
you are pre-programmed to feel that way try not to
00:51:16.280
try to see some continuity look to your ancestors if you can't admire your parents
00:51:21.820
i love you i hope people get better i'm sorry for everyone who was hurt by this
00:51:28.700
the end the end all right and we'll do the totally straight neck totally
00:51:38.080
i saw something that about historical spoons remember when we went to that museum in st andrews
00:51:47.360
and they had the spoon that you needed to take to the cafeterias to eat
00:51:53.220
no i don't you don't remember there was like a little like glass case that showed someone's spoon
00:51:59.120
because every time you went to the cafeteria to eat at the university when it was first founded
00:52:03.740
you needed your spoon in the 1400s that's wild like a long time ago you know everyone had their
00:52:10.420
own utensils and this concept of being born with a silver spoon actually probably meant that you were
00:52:20.020
born with a silver spoon like really fancy you know instead of maybe like a wooden or iron spoon or
00:52:27.180
whatever it is that everyone else ate with and now i i understand why that ceremonial um gift came to
00:52:36.840
be because i never oh yeah i had a silver spoon as a kid i remember it in among my baby gifts because i
00:52:43.180
saw them yeah that it's it's still it's still a common ceremonial baby gift in some cultures to give
00:52:48.820
them a silver spoon but it i never understood it or the phrase he was born with a silver spoon in his
00:52:55.020
mouth and now i get it if you live in a society where everywhere you go you have to have an eating
00:52:59.880
utensil you go to a restaurant you have to bring your eating utensil you go to a cafeteria you have
00:53:03.640
to bring your eating utensil you go to your family's dinner table you bring your own eating utensil
00:53:07.220
if you are showing up with the ferrari of eating utensils wow well he was everybody notices that
00:53:15.620
everyone knows yeah because otherwise you have to like save up for a nice spoon you know by the way
00:53:20.100
people sprung for in the past you did a great job with the salsa you made me a few notes okay blend
00:53:26.540
it longer some things especially the jalapenos were not properly chopped up like they were still
00:53:31.280
really big chunks but other than that really solid job yeah i think the the recipe that i was following
00:53:38.820
just had you put everything into the thing is they had you put everything into a blender but we don't
00:53:43.840
have a blender we only have a food processor and it doesn't quite blend non-chopped foods the same
00:53:49.000
way so i just have to account for that should we get a blender they don't cost much sinking
00:53:53.940
we're getting one on black friday but we just don't have a lot of space for appliances and we
00:53:57.520
have are you serious we have an entire basement with with shelves it's already so cluttered if you get
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okay we can get a blender if you get rid of those plant things that you're never going to use again
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they're taking up so much space a deal no not at all i will use those again okay okay how about this
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you need to use them or they will disappear in pretty days yeah no because the kids will likely
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use them you really think so i really think so yes all right i want to i want to ask you about the
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really cute note you had written for me saying mommy i'm going to give you money tomorrow i love you
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mom from dear octavian why did you decide to write that note because you wanted to be nice but we have
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to find it first hi titan hello love hi oh big hug you're so fun do you want some popcorn for dinner
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those are mine i made it for my name again this is actually mommy said i just keep this