Based Camp - NY Times Begs Men to Date Again： Why They're Opting Out

00:00:00.000 hello simone i'm excited to be here with you today today we are going to be discussing an

00:00:03.980 article that has done the rounds in conservative media i saw it before it did the rounds i was

00:00:07.060 like we should do an episode on this but it makes more sense for evergreen content which was

00:00:11.560 a new york times piece titled men where have you gone please come back so many men retreated from

00:00:21.540 intimacy hiding behind firewalls filters and curated personas dabbling and scrolling we miss

00:00:28.000 you what they think we're the mid they're here they're right here no they actually have left

00:00:35.200 the environments that these women are with it oh they're not on blue sky well no it's not that

00:00:40.000 they're not on blue sky they're not dating in the way that these women are dating they're not dating

00:00:43.560 in the environments that these women are dating i will note while a lot of right ringers have covered

00:00:47.660 this particular article i think they have missed the larger point in it just to make the dunks they

00:00:52.960 want to make like oh feminist pushed us out this is all women's fault you know women are the worst

00:00:57.840 when i really think there is an interesting thing to describe here which is what we're going to go

00:01:02.460 into which is why don't you see men at restaurants anymore why don't you see men in these sorts of

00:01:08.320 fancy environments anymore this isn't just downstream of what we think of as big bad misandry and so what

00:01:16.120 we are seeing is the perception of what dating is like for one of these post-feminist women

00:01:23.980 in an environment because this woman is in her 50s

00:01:27.400 she's in her 50s and she's dating she's got kids she's previously married she's done this whole

00:01:36.580 thing before so she is contrasting dating today was what dating was like in the past and you can say

00:01:42.500 oh well you know she's post-wall the thing is is that when you're in your 50s you're so post-wall

00:01:47.520 you're no longer in the shock of i'm 35 and why won't men date me anymore i think that that she is

00:01:54.260 actually cataloging a difference in dating marketplaces between now and what the marketplaces

00:02:01.160 were like 30 years ago um or 20 years ago right and i think that what we see from this piece really

00:02:08.300 interestingly is sort of the decimation feminism has wrought upon her generation and the generation

00:02:15.220 that attempted to espouse it but not just feminism but sexual liberation and a lot of people have

00:02:22.100 written like follow-up pieces like oh this is great like men you really should re-engage and a lot of

00:02:28.120 people are like bro men should not be having casual sex in their 50s like you know this is clearly like

00:02:36.040 not good advice right like this woman is searching for something that only harms everyone that she engages

00:02:42.940 whiz so let's dig into it by the way i looked up a picture of the author she's not like terrible

00:02:48.160 looking or anything she's fine especially for a 50 year old well i mean typically if you're a contributor

00:02:52.740 to the new york times like you're a fairly high class like upper class educated successful person so

00:03:00.520 that should not which in your mind means skinny i think obesity probably is higher with lower income

00:03:08.960 levels yeah true but not not lower about the online writer types you know there's lots of them out

00:03:15.520 there you know it could be anyway

00:03:17.320 may 17th a warm saturday night in wicker park a vibrant stretch of chicago where seven restaurants

00:03:29.500 crowd at a single block tori and i are having dinner at mama delia one of the quieter spots the sidewalk

00:03:36.800 patio held five tables three two tops including ours and a pair pulled together for a group of eight

00:03:43.780 women at those tables troy was the only man the scene was beautiful low lights shared plates shoulders

00:03:51.560 angled in the kind of evening people wait for all winter still i found myself watching the crowd as it

00:03:57.980 moved past us women walking in pairs or alone dressed with care at table after table at the nearby

00:04:05.480 restaurants there was a noticeable absence of men at least men seated in what looked like dates

00:04:11.760 now this is really fascinating to me and we're going to be talking about other anecdotal evidence

00:04:18.280 from her but it's something that i have seen as well especially in fancy cities like new york

00:04:22.320 chicago stuff like this these are the environments where men have seen the most benefit from just

00:04:27.940 leaning out of the dating market if they're not in the top one or two percent this is a reminder for

00:04:31.880 people who don't know the average man on male in terms of attractiveness gets swiped right on by less

00:04:36.600 than one percent of women women are completely delusional around what their market value is around

00:04:41.840 this stuff especially if they're also engaging in casual sex which you can see this woman is

00:04:45.560 so she is likely like many of these other women saying i just will not date men of this category

00:04:51.820 when you go out and you push for equal salaries for men and women and then you say well and i want a man

00:04:58.600 that earns more than me that means that half or more than half of women especially in urban

00:05:04.300 environments where they're overwhelming women and where women earn more than men are going to be

00:05:08.920 single yeah and the question is is what are men doing right well i can imagine very few men who would

00:05:15.760 get any satisfaction from going out and eating alone at a restaurant i can imagine very few men who

00:05:22.540 want to hang out with a group of men at a restaurant where they are overpaying for food and alcohol

00:05:28.240 yeah especially these days restaurants are so expensive restaurants are about signaling something

00:05:33.900 to yourself and to other people yeah so where are the groups of men going they are going to

00:05:40.120 the other men's houses to play land parties and and stuff like that or if they're eating out maybe it's

00:05:45.480 like a sports bar where it's more of like a social fun environment where there's a game playing

00:05:49.960 yeah yeah but it is it is not fancy restaurants there is no reason a man would do this no and

00:05:56.620 now fancy restaurants are like increasingly for instagram and for the photos and it's not just

00:06:01.360 instagram it's so that this woman could signal something to herself about who she is and the type

00:06:06.840 of life she's living and you see this all the way back in sex in the city is that they would often

00:06:11.060 meet at fancy restaurants whereas no male group would ever meet at fancy restaurants gosh the

00:06:16.460 feminization of restaurants underrated well there's no there's no reason to right a man only takes a

00:06:23.140 woman to a fancy restaurant so she can masturbate this perspective of herself as like this high class

00:06:28.640 yeah because a man's door dashing if anything like if he has to eat out yeah the the this is about how she

00:06:37.380 sees herself and we're going to see this in the next thing here which is that even when men aren't

00:06:42.380 taking her to these environments she still feels forced to go to them herself to reframe this self

00:06:48.480 image of herself as living a good life so it started to become clear the previous april when a man who

00:06:55.180 had been pursuing me canceled a dinner at the last minute there was a scheduling mixed up with his son's

00:07:00.980 game i understood i am a hockey mom i get it so first we're learning a few things she's dating guys who

00:07:07.160 have kids which is good because she has kids right like yeah yeah that's more fair and she considers

00:07:12.440 it what's her daughter doing how is she able to go out and go to these maybe her daughter's with the

00:07:18.020 dad at these times i i don't know still i went i wore what would have been worn anyway i took the table

00:07:25.400 i ordered well and i watched the room only two tables nearby seemed to hold actual dates the rest were

00:07:32.340 groups of women or women alone with each other occupying space was quiet confidence no shrinking

00:07:38.160 no waiting no apologizing i i love it how she feels the need like she can tell how depressing what's

00:07:44.760 happening is for women and she she was stood up she goes out anyway well not just that but she sees a

00:07:51.120 bunch of other women who are doing the same thing like going out anyway and she needs to go into this

00:07:55.520 with quiet confidence no shrinking no waiting no apologizing and it's like no they're being

00:08:03.380 depressing and pathetic and you don't want it framed that way for yourself but that's the reality of it

00:08:09.660 that night marked something not a heartbreak but an unraveling a sense that what i'd been experiencing

00:08:16.660 wasn't just personal misalignment it was something broader cultural a slow vanishing presence

00:08:24.900 and she's talking about men in the world but what she means is men who are willing to engage

00:08:31.560 with women in this way take them to fancy expensive restaurants and stuff like that i did that early

00:08:38.000 in our relationship but we stopped that pretty soon was in our relationship that really only makes

00:08:42.120 sense within the earliest of dating because it's such an expensive waste of money i mean no matter

00:08:47.120 how much money you have it should make you ill if you're like a reasonable person no we cut it out

00:08:52.440 real quick actually how many times do we actually go out to dinner there was the first night indian

00:08:59.100 food we went i would remember for meat at some sort of sausage place because oh that's because i yeah

00:09:06.820 you well yeah you just we we got ribs but that was just because you were like please don't be

00:09:12.440 vegetarian anymore that was even it wasn't even dinner it was like lunch we really didn't eat out much

00:09:19.300 i mean our second date was at your house yeah and i yeah and i'm i'm cooking there so

00:09:25.320 yeah not not you know this is the other thing is that real guys the type of guys you'd want to marry

00:09:33.760 they take a girl out once and they don't do it again well i mean especially if they dated as much

00:09:39.880 as you did and that means that you had to make it financially sustainable so you'd like maybe do a

00:09:43.880 dinner and then you'd do like a picnic or you do some kind of other outing yeah like make mixed drinks

00:09:49.440 at your house because you like sort of built up a really big bar and then that made you capable of

00:09:53.480 having like a really like choice filled cocktail hour at your place instead of a one of the guys who

00:10:01.560 are going to reinforce this perception she had of herself and what dating is in a really financially

00:10:06.860 unsustainable way if you're a guy and you're taking a woman out to a fancy restaurant like in chicago or

00:10:11.240 something like this you know you're paying 20 a drink often it's 10 a drink i mean she's getting

00:10:16.600 cocktails 20 keep in mind plus tip here then for entrees 30 maybe 20 30 yeah and so you know for

00:10:26.600 the whole meal you're paying easily over a hundred dollars oh yeah normal people can't do that multiple

00:10:33.220 nights in a row right like this is this is her expectation is bizarre but she's able to spend it

00:10:42.120 on herself for well we'll see where she made her money she made her money in the adult entertainment

00:10:47.320 industry she did not as an entertainer not as an entertainer though actually in the previous one i've

00:10:54.280 cut some bits out of this she met him at the playboy mansion but she used to manage like marketing and pr for

00:10:59.580 them um an interesting perspective and an entirely wrong perspective but it is a perspective that many

00:11:07.300 women have she goes i spent over a decade behind the curtain of digital desire as the custodian of

00:11:13.520 records for playboy and its affiliated hardcore properties including sites like spice tv i was

00:11:19.020 responsible for some of the most infringed upon adult content in the world i worked closely with

00:11:23.500 copyright attorneys and marketing teams to understand exactly what it took to get a man to pay for

00:11:28.420 content he could otherwise find for free we knew what worked we knew how to frame a face a gesture

00:11:35.520 a moment of implication just enough to ignite a fantasy and open a wallet i came to understand in

00:11:42.120 exact terms what cues tempt the average 18 to 36 year old cis heterosexual male what drew him in what kept

00:11:50.300 him coming back it wasn't intimacy it wasn't mutuality it was access to stimulation clean

00:11:57.900 fast and frictionless and and we'll get to a bit more of what she thinks on this but i think here

00:12:02.360 you can already see she she doesn't understand at all she doesn't understand that things like for

00:12:09.320 now this isn't true for some religious men some religious men really don't use porn don't masturbate

00:12:15.640 and this is a huge part of their sex lives and their identity and it's like whatever yeah but there's

00:12:20.480 another population of men out there who masturbate and use porn and have totally normal relationships

00:12:25.600 and that this is not what what a man is getting from this content isn't what he's getting from going

00:12:35.560 on a date from you this is a completely different set of emotional stimuli that he would be masturbating

00:12:42.420 by taking a fancy woman to a fancy restaurant you are just you you you have emotionally protected

00:12:49.700 yourself by saying what he's choosing instead of me is porn and that's not true any men who would have

00:12:57.560 dated you regardless in fact a woman like this given that she's not like a religious whatever no man who

00:13:04.780 dates this woman isn't watching porn i'm just gonna be a 50 plus woman with kids who likes casual sex in her

00:13:11.740 50s every single man she has ever interacted with in a positive context sexually in her entire life

00:13:19.800 regularly watches porn and i can guarantee that it reminds me of a study they did i think it was

00:13:24.640 in canada or whatever they were trying to compare men who regularly watch porn and men who don't on

00:13:28.780 something and they couldn't find enough men who actually didn't watch porn for the sample set to work

00:13:33.920 because it was so rare unless there was like a high extremist religious exogenous motivation to prevent it

00:13:40.540 but the point i'm making here is these men are not choosing porn over you they are choosing

00:13:46.720 something else over you they are choosing not to go on this because of something else the porn is

00:13:53.820 filling an entirely different need than the fancy date at a restaurant unless you think that the fancy

00:13:59.820 date at a restaurant was a precursor to sex and sex is what porn is competing with which again i disagree

00:14:07.020 was that narrative as well porn is one thing sex is another thing you you might be able to have sex

00:14:12.920 less because you have access to porn but that's only going to happen when both partners want that or

00:14:17.480 something right like or unless you have some severe addiction or something which as we've talked about

00:14:23.240 in the pregnant side of sexuality almost never happens to people who think porn is normal porn addictions

00:14:28.080 pretty much only happen to people who have a strong religious or ideological aversion to pornography

00:14:33.260 this isn't saying that that's wrong as i've looked into the data more my actual intuition around this

00:14:41.040 is that it might be an evolved thing it might be that in individuals born in cultures that have a

00:14:45.880 strong ideological aversion to pornography never evolved any sort of way of dealing with it it might

00:14:51.560 actually be that mormon men genuinely can't have normal relationships and engage with something like

00:14:56.000 pornography or or extremist versions of some religious beliefs like they just may never have had to

00:15:01.540 engage with this and so when they engage with it they just become completely obsessed with it and

00:15:04.800 can't have normal relationships which fine you know i'm not gonna i'm not gonna push against the you

00:15:10.340 know if that's what your culture tells you then then stick with it but what i'm saying is of the men

00:15:14.940 who this woman thinks are normal all of them are engaging in porn now to go further here in that world

00:15:22.260 there's no need for conversation no need for effort no curiosity no reciprocity no one's feelings to

00:15:28.200 consider no vulnerability to navigate just a closed loop of consumption and i'm like yeah but all of

00:15:34.500 those things you mentioned are things that men like men like conversation and effort and curiosity and

00:15:41.800 reciprocity and vulnerable women these are things they like on a date okay i enjoy those things when i'm

00:15:49.700 dating a woman so no porn isn't delivering any of that to me it is just i know that i'm not gonna get

00:15:57.600 those things from you i know you know as we read further if i go on a date with a woman like you

00:16:03.020 there is going to be no you know there's no need for effort because you're a desperate 50 year old

00:16:08.600 woman with kids you're not going to be genuinely curious in me you're going to expect some sort of

00:16:13.480 anti-trumper narrative you're going to want me to be like you you aren't really going to consider

00:16:19.020 my feelings and i'm not really going to consider your feelings because we're not actually interested in

00:16:23.520 something long term together and you're certainly not going to be vulnerable with me and so i'm not

00:16:27.560 going to need to navigate that right like what you haven't realized is you think that it is porn that

00:16:33.340 has stripped all of this from who you are when it is you that stripped all of this from who you are

00:16:37.620 and it is the progressive culture the woke culture that stripped it all from who you are

00:16:41.820 um what struck me the most wasn't the extremity of the content because as we pointed out male porn

00:16:48.060 really isn't that extreme in most cases it was the emotional vacancy behind it the drift what

00:16:54.080 women want men this to you is emotional vacancy because as simona's pointed out that is the normal

00:17:00.300 form of male porn the way men had quietly was drawn from intimacy and vulnerability what do you don't want

00:17:07.300 an intimate and vulnerable man first of all right like not with violence although it seems to be a

00:17:12.620 progressive narrative like it it would seem to me that many women are being told by therapists or

00:17:19.200 society or influencers that they should want men who are emotionally vulnerable but they don't which

00:17:25.320 they don't like intuitively and and and subconsciously they don't but societally they think they should

00:17:33.060 and therefore demand it and complain about any absence of it yes so regardless they're going to be

00:17:38.440 unsatisfied because they either think societally that they're being robbed of some emotionally

00:17:43.780 available man but then if they actually become emotionally available then they're they get the

00:17:47.540 they don't want that man anymore yeah not with violence or resistance but with indifference

00:17:52.260 they weren't sitting across from someone on a saturday night trying to connect they were scrolling

00:17:57.480 dabbling disappearing behind firewalls filters and curated personas and while they disappeared women

00:18:05.660 continued to gather to tend to notice who wasn't arriving and to show up anyway

00:18:11.500 what do these women are scrolling just as much if not more right but they're all targeting the same

00:18:18.660 men and they're finding they can't get those men right like the fact that the average woman is

00:18:23.020 scrolling right you know sorry the average man gets scrolled right on by less than one percent of

00:18:26.700 women shows that you're just not being honest with yourself right like you're targeting a very narrow

00:18:31.200 group of men and worse you are going to these dating environments these fancy restaurants you are

00:18:36.860 treating yourself and you are thinking well if i went 50 50 with a man at a place like this you know i'm

00:18:43.000 doing him a favor right like i'm i'm pulling my weight and what you're not realizing is no you're not

00:18:48.600 because this environment was never in any way about the man it was about making you feel good about

00:18:54.780 yourself and that's when men withdrew from parasitic dating culture you see the fancy restaurants be

00:19:02.460 the first thing that empty of men because taking women to a fancy restaurant was not 50 for the man

00:19:09.800 and 50 for you just because you were both eating they can make fancy macaroni and cheese at home

00:19:14.800 and it tastes just as good this is about your self-image and men realizing they don't want to play

00:19:22.080 that game and it's not worth it for them yeah and my other experience as a kid at fancy restaurants

00:19:30.920 as well which might have propped up the industry because also i noticed like some stats just

00:19:35.120 restaurant industry-wide that 2025 is now like lower than 2023 like there is there has been also some kind

00:19:44.180 of peak and now there's a dropping demand for restaurants that all the fancy restaurants i've been to

00:19:51.040 as like before the age of 24 were on business trips and it was they were all related to sales

00:19:59.960 so maybe also there's just less of that sales whining and dining taking that's true as i think

00:20:06.020 that was Asia where you did that Asia but also Europe and also the United States but i just don't

00:20:13.120 think it's it's playing out that same way oh that's true for us as well yeah when we go to fancy

00:20:17.460 restaurants it's almost always tied to our business yeah like investment or sales or something

00:20:21.660 like that and i think now these decisions are being made differently and we used to go on like

00:20:26.740 anniversary dates to fancy restaurants but we stopped well i think because we realized we were

00:20:31.540 doing it because we thought that was what you're supposed to do but neither of us really enjoyed it

00:20:35.300 so i've been recently trying to look to buy some haggis by the way because i want to have like more fun

00:20:42.560 dishes i like at home it's so expensive to ship i can't bring myself to get it i can't buy a meat

00:20:47.440 if the shipping costs more than the meat i know like that's what i'm like maybe i'll get like a hundred

00:20:54.360 dollars of frozen haggis and ship it and then we can have it over a series of nights that's that's

00:20:59.980 all i can think because i mean it's ridiculous we'll just need to fly to scotland you can't bring

00:21:09.060 it back to the u.s because they don't allow lungs um i guess i'm getting in the u.s is like fake

00:21:13.040 so it's not even real haggis don't bother oh come on i need to eat haggis simone it's true so good

00:21:20.760 so good okay anyway to continue here i'm five four i've been dating since the mid 80s been married

00:21:31.280 been a mother gotten divorced had many relationships long and short well i'm sure that recommends you to

00:21:37.620 new guys i remember when part of heterosexual male culture involved showing up with a woman to

00:21:44.260 signal something status success desirability women were weren't signifiers of values even to other men

00:21:51.200 it wasn't always healthy but it meant that men had to show up and put in some effort that's so

00:21:57.740 interesting because now often like when we host cocktail parties and stuff if someone wants to bring

00:22:03.900 a partner it's like oh like great now sometimes the partners turn out to be cool but typically when

00:22:10.340 a man brings a female partner it she's an embarrassment to him and it's it's it's a an issue

00:22:17.260 and with dialogue for example that secret society one of the things that was like really distinct

00:22:22.680 about dialogue is most of these secret societies of like luminaries and ideas festivals allowed spouses

00:22:28.540 to attend and one thing that dialogue did very distinctly was either completely not allowed

00:22:35.380 significant others to attend or if they were allowed to attend you had to pay a ton of money for them but

00:22:41.120 they could only come to one dinner and they weren't allowed to go to any of like the other things

00:22:45.000 because it's now understood that like in many cases female partners are just really disappointing and

00:22:53.460 like we don't want to see them like they're only going to make you look worse so that's crazy that

00:22:58.120 she thinks that because when i hear that like can i bring a spouse can i bring a significant other

00:23:03.040 like that's typically only going to make well i'm gonna point out that this isn't true for every

00:23:06.920 population so you know when i look at my parents generation you go to the bohemian grove or something

00:23:11.360 they don't allow women and the reason they don't allow women is because men of that generation

00:23:14.780 dated bimbos like like literally just hot women who are meant to be wise

00:23:18.900 and if you look at the men who are still dating in their 40s and in the urban monoculture you see

00:23:25.360 this as well but you don't see this of the men who are dating to marry like the men who date to marry

00:23:31.400 typically their wives are very competent and cool people like all of our friends males who got married

00:23:35.800 young generally got married to super smart really competent very good conversationalist women

00:23:41.980 and it's not uncommon at dialogue for two people who are married to both be nominated and both attend

00:23:49.240 so married couples are there but they both get there on their own merit but the point i'm making about

00:23:53.800 these women is one thing you'll often notice about them is they are not top lookers and men who date

00:24:00.580 for marriage typically marry in their 20s which is another reason why she's not finding the good men

00:24:05.640 because they're already married like she's one i want a guy who will care well she's dating men on their

00:24:09.760 second marriage you know like the guy she was mentioning i'll mention only be on the second

00:24:13.680 marriage if his wife died you know otherwise there's a problem with either him or the woman

00:24:18.060 right you know but the the or his discernment even you know even if it's not you know but the point i'm

00:24:23.280 making here is one of the things i keep seeing within these communities is great spouses who you would

00:24:31.840 want to bring along and that you use as a status symbol but the way they are used as a status symbol

00:24:37.020 is their conversational ability and their intellect and not their looks and the problem that you see

00:24:42.740 within the urban monoculture is even for her you can tell she's optimizing for looks given that she's

00:24:48.280 on these dating profiles and stuff like this and the men who are going after her because she's you

00:24:52.480 know casually sleeping with people she has kids she doesn't appear to be looking for marriage

00:24:55.700 you're gonna if you're in that sort of dating market you're gonna be optimizing around looks

00:24:59.340 you are not going to get a guy like me you are not going to get a guy like the other guys i know

00:25:04.840 who are in long-term relationships and the other guys i know in long-term relationships

00:25:09.080 often i'd actually say that there is an inversion now what you don't want is an ugly wife i don't

00:25:14.660 know men with ugly wives but who i consider in this category but typically the homelier their life

00:25:19.280 wife the more interesting she is whereas the less homely she is and when i say homely what i mean is

00:25:25.620 completely effable but also not going to turn a bunch of heads when you look into a room like she

00:25:31.860 doesn't five or six yeah and it's because these men know what to actually optimize for and i think

00:25:37.940 that that's why you've seen men no longer because nobody is impressed anymore and a lot of the market

00:25:42.940 hasn't adopted to this by you bringing a 10 10 model into a room especially because these days being a

00:25:51.020 nine or a 10 as a woman doesn't necessarily indicate signs of genetic fitness because there's so much

00:25:56.260 manipulation going on like the contouring that the the filler i mean it just looks trashy like

00:26:02.080 consider jeff bezos's current girlfriend like she looks wife they're getting married soon wife but she

00:26:07.540 looks trashy i'm gonna be honest she looks trashy compared to the other billionaires wise and it's it's

00:26:14.180 not a good look like i don't know i think it's because he's the previous generation and he doesn't

00:26:19.180 realize how trashy she looks could be yeah it seems like she got most of her work done after she met him

00:26:24.460 she actually looked pretty normal before which is also super weird gross yeah really because her

00:26:29.560 work is terrible i know but i almost wonder if he's been driving it because yeah she looked pretty

00:26:38.420 normal before he just needs to not do work and dress her like a normal human and remember he also

00:26:45.740 physically modified himself a lot so he might have some very strong opinions about what he wants

00:26:51.920 for both himself and his partner and they're sort of like cartoon outdated cartoon versions

00:26:57.020 so it's my theory that it's not a bad theory but it is gross you know i mean like he's enjoying it

00:27:05.580 good for him good for him he's happy and it's not that he couldn't do it it's not innate to who she is

00:27:11.320 she could not dress like that when she goes to fancy events yeah i mean she was also very beautiful

00:27:17.000 before it's not like she needed this but to continue i recently experienced a flicker of

00:27:24.800 possibility with james we met on rihanna the dating app never heard of that from the start

00:27:31.020 wordplay emotional precision a tone that felt attuned it was brief but it caught light i remember

00:27:40.460 saying to him even fleeting connections matter when they're mutual and lit from the inside and i

00:27:47.300 meant it what a sad thing to say to somebody who you're interested in even if you talk to me for

00:27:52.280 just a little bit i'll pay attention oh god somebody pay attention to me there was just enough spark

00:27:58.360 to wonder what might unfold enough curiosity to imagine a doorway but he didn't step through it

00:28:04.580 not with a plan not with presence she hovered flirting retreating offering warmth but no direction

00:28:12.940 sexual tension and a spark aren't enough to sit still and hope there's substance behind the shimmer

00:28:20.780 so i named what i felt i texted him clearly with care not simply to declare attraction but to extend a

00:28:28.420 real invitation to explore what was possible oh god that sounds so gross i didn't chase

00:28:34.200 i invited leaving the door open if he ever wanted to cross that threshold not just to take but to

00:28:45.300 meet i was willing i wanted i still do imagine reading this about yourself he never replied he still

00:28:53.760 follows my instagram stories one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us

00:28:59.500 mistake for closeness who mistakes have for closeness it was like interest it

00:29:03.980 feels like silence there are a thousand jameses i have known dozens the arc varies but the undertow is

00:29:11.540 familiar this is i didn't know you could know who follows your instagram stories she is really

00:29:16.700 self-involved if you're like that like grasping at those levels of straws wait how do i i i honestly

00:29:25.020 don't know i don't know how people know this you don't know how many you know who's following your

00:29:29.120 instagram stories you haven't stopped oh you know what i don't post instagram stories that's probably

00:29:32.760 one of the reasons because nobody cares oh my god she cares this is how she judges if the world still

00:29:40.960 cares about her he's that guy i flirted with on a dating app still liking my stories oh that's that's dark

00:29:48.060 yeah that's yeah the urban monoculture takes all and leaves nothing always remember that

00:29:57.260 the guys who think they can still date at this age it is just as bleak for you guys just don't tell

00:30:04.580 on themselves as much you know find a partner and lock it down even if she's homely i think maybe what

00:30:11.780 she's i'm surprised she hasn't mentioned that like the high caliber men that she seems to be pursuing

00:30:17.980 who appear to both like a man who will do it for her is presumably in his 50s attractive and wealthy

00:30:26.240 highly educated okay yeah those men are dating women in their 20s because they're not yeah they're not

00:30:32.400 dating women in their 50s so i don't know why she's not mentioning that because well a lot of women do

00:30:39.460 they freak out about it they shame it that's how they try to reclaim the marketplace and we're

00:30:42.840 seeing this more and more with that's not gonna work it's not gonna work what i won't entertain

00:30:48.100 is directionless orbiting the thing so many men now seem to mistake for connection the perpetual maybe

00:30:55.660 they don't mistake this for correct connection they're using you for sex how do you not see or

00:31:01.060 they're like they're just they're really not that into you they're just they're not interested in

00:31:05.280 they're there and yeah i'm doing this personally text to them and make it right like i'm sure these

00:31:11.940 men like the man that she was like i want a connection like i'm sure it felt kind of good to

00:31:15.600 him maybe he got a little creep you shouldn't be like like dating people who aren't interested in

00:31:20.960 married i don't care if you're 50 i don't care if you're not if you were a a widow s right and you

00:31:26.300 were yeah but you're forgetting just how many people feel like they need sex for validation

00:31:30.100 true the emotional check-ins the casual seeing where it goes without ever engaging anywhere

00:31:37.940 we call it a situationship but mostly it's avoidance an abdication of ownership ownership of

00:31:46.040 you like this is what you need is ownership but you are unwilling to give that a feeling of behavior

00:31:52.980 of sex that isn't a means to an end but is a communion how can it be a communion if it's casual

00:32:00.080 like the type that you want like you i don't yeah i don't know what she wants i don't know what she

00:32:04.780 wants because she's describing marriage mystical experiment no she's not she doesn't want commitment

00:32:11.120 she doesn't want marriage she wants something what we did what this like poetic language about

00:32:16.100 connections and sparks and stuff i she wants she she wants she wants what is it like like new

00:32:22.560 relationship energy is that it no no no what's that book about about traveling and having sex with

00:32:28.940 oh eat pray love eat pray love what she wants is eat pray love there was a time not so long ago

00:32:34.980 when even one night stands might end with tangled limbs and a shared breakfast when the actress no

00:32:41.020 that was because you were younger then and men felt they needed to do more i mean i think this is why

00:32:46.340 so many women go to cuba for the male sex workers because they can at least pay for that kind of

00:32:52.460 experience yeah when the act of staying the night didn't announce a relationship just a willingness

00:32:58.820 to be human for a few more hours oh she doesn't even want sleeping with guys to meet a relationship

00:33:03.380 she just wants eggs now even that kind of unscripted contact feels rare we've built so many boundaries

00:33:10.680 that we've walled off the very few moments that make connection memorable and frankly morning sex is often

00:33:17.920 the best sex you sometimes you even get a side of eggs before you disappear from their bed and their life

00:33:23.840 forever so that's what she wants but this is again i think a thing that women missed

00:33:29.200 the men who can get sex easily like from the period of my life where i could morning sex

00:33:36.760 with a woman sleeping over with a woman making her food that's all for her

00:33:43.920 if i'm a guy and i'm just taking i thought women thought morning sex was stressful because

00:33:49.800 like you either have to wake up and sneakily brush your teeth and try to not look so gross or

00:33:54.660 you're the whole thing is is is a for her phenomenon right like it is yeah look you might be like oh like

00:34:02.140 as a guy you know if i'm having casual sex right like i just want to go have casual sex and then leave

00:34:09.340 go to sleep and have a good night's sleep without the snuggles spending the night additional sex in

00:34:14.500 the morning making food that's all things i do so you don't feel used i mean and i did that with most

00:34:21.740 girls because i didn't want them to feel used i didn't want them to feel bad but i wasn't doing that

00:34:28.320 for me and i think she has normalized so many parts of the sexual exchange as being completely mutual

00:34:38.460 without realizing that they were 100 a pageant for the woman so the woman didn't feel bad about

00:34:45.220 the decision she was making and i think that that's what we're seeing here what she's saying

00:34:51.340 is men do not do the pageant i imagine she's romanticizing elements of her youth that she's

00:34:56.780 relived and through memory so many times that she's overridden it and and she's not even remembering

00:35:02.020 real things yeah well i mean look when she was in her 20s or whatever of course guys you know kept

00:35:09.060 her over and made her food and were romantic with her and everything she wasn't a 50 year old woman

00:35:14.600 with kids you know or a kid even sadder it was like the 80s then the 70s so men were maybe a little

00:35:24.860 more traditional too i mean she said she dated in the 80s so okay so the 80s yeah see two lines of

00:35:31.240 cocaine have fun together all i can think about the 80s is like shoulder pads cocaine neon colors

00:35:38.720 but i i i think it's it's it's sad because it's a degree of this dating culture and casual sex

00:35:47.200 culture where i think women got the perception that all casual sex culture was for men and they

00:35:51.860 didn't realize how much of it was a show that men were putting on for them and now the men because

00:35:57.460 you know if if as we you know i point out the tinder statistic but it also matters for the top

00:36:02.960 men it means for the top you know 20 men in an area they're getting you know 20 matches a day right

00:36:08.500 and these are the men who you likely think are good enough for you and they can also date women

00:36:13.140 younger than you remember so why are they bothering with any of the things that you care about right like

00:36:18.900 eggs in the morning or morning sex or staying over right why aren't they just going home after

00:36:23.660 they've used you for whatever they want to get out of you right well i'm just also so surprised that

00:36:29.180 apparently women wanted to stay over like when i see the media i thought like women kind of feel

00:36:37.300 okay so you got to understand why women want this they don't want this because they want the sex or the

00:36:43.000 morning food or anything like that they want it because they don't want to feel used and when a woman

00:36:49.040 stays over was in popular narratives or when a man stays over the woman hasn't been used for sex

00:36:54.700 it's a fling when the man has sex and then leaves that's being used that is the way they can

00:37:02.040 conceptualize it was in modern narratives this isn't about actual pleasure for the woman this is

00:37:07.300 about the narrative that she's telling herself about the way she is being perceived by the man and you

00:37:13.280 can see a lot of her complaints are about the way she's being perceived by it's performative even

00:37:18.340 though it's not comfortable for anyone involved exactly do you remember where you where you slept

00:37:25.200 after the first night we had sex couch or something on the floor of my living room because i i wanted to

00:37:33.160 wake up because you're a true gentleman because you knew oh yeah you're very autistic about this stuff

00:37:39.860 i can't did you tell me and i was just like okay you know we we tried snuggling all night like a couple

00:37:49.760 times and i think you and i even then like we're able we're like we're not getting it in sleep yeah

00:37:55.380 like this is just not that like i just sleep better by myself can we just can we just set up

00:38:01.180 a bed in the living room for you yeah that was so you were so accommodating to me and i really appreciate

00:38:09.700 that you in relationships think like what is actually going to make my female partner happy

00:38:20.040 instead of what are the like tropes or like what's traditional but then i apparently there's women

00:38:28.140 out there like this woman who despite being very experienced in terms of sex and relationships is

00:38:33.340 still diluting herself into thinking that she wants things that well she's completely on urban

00:38:38.720 monocultural autopilot like this is a no self-reflection individual uh-huh

00:38:42.680 no because she's not looking for another husband if if she had any sort of cultural framing that's what

00:38:49.440 she would be looking for and she doesn't mention that these men are just dating 20 year olds

00:38:53.240 anywhere nope none of that complaining maybe we're conveniently doesn't see that maybe she thinks

00:39:01.400 their fathers and daughters bless her i don't see any dating because just all of these fathers

00:39:07.680 taking out their daughters for what must be their 21st birthdays well i think men who date younger

00:39:14.460 women now they don't go out to restaurants as much either anymore because there's not a point

00:39:18.380 the young women are showing off on instagram and stuff easier ways to do that take care to your

00:39:23.360 nice apartment or whatever yeah order food at your nice apartment totally and it saves money and and

00:39:29.180 like i mean also yeah if you if you are wealthy your probability of sex too totally because she's

00:39:34.720 already at your place yeah and if you're wealthy you have a nice apartment so you can impress her even

00:39:38.220 more with your power you can conveniently have sex very easily and also i think men who are wealthy

00:39:44.280 and successful financially at that age are also if they still have their money they're frugal meaning

00:39:49.680 that like they they see the value and maybe you know if even if they're not cooks like most men can

00:39:55.780 cook one thing to impress someone else or just make food for themselves so like they make the one thing

00:40:00.520 they know how to make yeah wow yeah i am curious what the 20 year olds dating 50 year olds date experience is

00:40:11.040 like okay maybe we're between paradigms mourning what has fallen not yet fluent in what comes next

00:40:19.360 the infrastructures of intimacy slowness curiosity accountability have been eroded by haste convenience

00:40:27.160 and a kind of sanctioned emotional retreat not a sanction do the men just have nothing to gain

00:40:32.840 from these relationships well and they're having deep deep intimate very emotionally strong bonds with

00:40:40.520 chat gpt right it's not about blaming men it's about noticing the imbalance about grieving what's

00:40:50.580 not meeting us and about refusing to dress it up as a personal failure when it's actually a collective

00:40:57.320 reality no it's a collective personal failure that is what you are missing here i just can't imagine

00:41:04.240 living life as this woman lives it like this like very poetic emotional like it seems that she lives

00:41:11.500 in emotions she does well let's let's let's tie out the end of this okay so here's what i'll say

00:41:18.900 you are missed not just by me but by the world you once helped to shape we remember you the version

00:41:27.200 of you that lingered at the table that laughed from the chest that asked questions and wanted for

00:41:34.080 answers that touched was out taking that listened really listened when a woman spoke i'll reword that

00:41:41.700 for you when a 20 year old woman spoke you are not listened the men are still here for the 20 year olds

00:41:49.300 let me tell you what you are not gone but your presence is thinning in restaurants in friendships

00:41:55.180 in the slow rituals of romantic emergence you've retreated not into malice but into something softer

00:42:02.320 and harder all at once avoidance exhaustion disrepair maybe maybe no one taught you how to stay

00:42:09.720 maybe you tried once and it hurt maybe the world you divorced a guy you turd what do you mean

00:42:17.200 maybe this is like a woman with a gun and there's like a guy bleeding out on the floor and she's like

00:42:22.100 i understand that some women hurt people it's like well you you you shot that guy like and she was not my

00:42:30.460 fault well you chose to marry him you chose to have a kid with him you did this to your kid

00:42:35.020 like clearly it's a little your fault right like you're not blameless here lady maybe the world told

00:42:43.180 you that your role was to provide to perform to protect and never to feel but here's what's real

00:42:50.080 we never needed you to be perfect we just needed you to be with us not above not muted not masked

00:42:59.320 just whiz i can promise you any guy who's reading this is like i do not want to be with whatever this

00:43:05.540 is because clearly you're using me to jack off some self-perception you have of being wanted

00:43:11.900 and being having companionship and i don't want to play that role right you know i want somebody

00:43:17.180 who does admire me and here you're saying we don't want someone who's above us well a guy wants you to

00:43:25.000 admire them you you you jack off like of course also like she just doesn't make sense like what what is

00:43:31.780 all this if you're not into guys to adore that like my wife day one has put me on a pedestal and

00:43:41.380 that's a big part of why i like being married to her you you you are saying oh i would never put a

00:43:47.620 guy on a pedestal of course what guy wants to date a woman who sees him as an equal what woman wants to

00:43:54.780 date a guy she sees as her equal or beneath her very few i think that there's this perception was in the

00:44:00.620 urban monoculture because they've repeated this life so many times if i really don't care if i admire

00:44:05.300 a guy and think that he's you do i promise you you do why did you divorce guy number one you know

00:44:13.540 and you can still come back not by becoming someone else but by remembering what connection feels like

00:44:22.560 oh they're remembering that with 20 year olds when it's honest and slow when it's earned and messy and

00:44:28.420 sacred we're still here those of us willing to co-create something true we are not impossible to

00:44:37.200 please we are not asking for performances we are asking for presence for courage for breath and eye

00:44:44.680 contact and the ability to say i'm here and i don't know how to do this perfectly but i want to try

00:44:50.500 come back not with foul hours or fireworks but with willingness with your whole beautiful imperfect

00:44:57.400 heart we're still here and we haven't stopped hoping as for me i'll keep showing up not because

00:45:03.700 i'm waiting but because i know what it feels like when someone finally arrives this sounds like it reminds

00:45:10.480 me of that that female trope of a woman being mad at her boyfriend and being like you know what you did

00:45:17.220 you know he's like what did i do you know you know i'm gonna know what it feels like no but i honestly

00:45:22.400 i don't i don't know what to do like i i do not know what this woman wants if if i'm a man and i'm

00:45:27.180 i'm like i i i genuinely don't know what she wants although someone was just texting i know what she

00:45:32.360 wants i'll tell you what she wants okay what does she want she wants the type of guy who any of our

00:45:38.740 happily married women friends are married to she wants no no i promise you she wants a guy who treats

00:45:46.920 her on dates the way i treat you she wants a guy who treats her like think about like raffi and

00:45:53.200 charlotte she wants a guy to treat her the way raffi treats charlotte she wants a guy who's that

00:45:58.520 young couple we you know who got married in texas oh glenn and ronnie no glenn and ronnie she

00:46:04.260 wants a guy to treat her the way that ronnie treats her no but then there's the other couple

00:46:07.560 the entrepreneur couple where the woman is a nurse and the guy is a oh alex and katie

00:46:12.160 alex and katie she wants a guy to treat her the way alex treats katie she wants like in every one

00:46:18.020 of these instances she wants a guy to treat her the way that guys get who get married in there

00:46:24.460 there seems to be this whole like emotional connection we just love each other as humans

00:46:29.440 we're just human together no no no no no and this is the thing would not any these women right like

00:46:37.540 these other women who are in relationships right she's like i want i i just want a connection you

00:46:43.980 know you don't need to bring me flowers you don't need to bring me fireworks you don't need to make

00:46:47.880 me feel like the most special woman on earth every day and and and what's ironic is that these women

00:46:54.740 who did settle down and get married and and who have families they do have the man bring them flowers

00:47:01.340 regularly or fireworks regularly if that's what they want or make them feel like the most special woman

00:47:06.580 on earth you know every day maybe not every day a week but more often than not and this is what i

00:47:12.100 see in the young couples who get married right like yeah they're so sweet it's so nice they're also sweet

00:47:17.020 they they they the this thing that she's like well i don't i understand it's too much to ask for all of

00:47:23.040 this it's like no all of that stuff that you think that is too much to ask for that's what you should

00:47:28.720 have been looking for in husband number one rather than urban monoculture simp who's disposable

00:47:34.160 okay and this is the problem right you you you come to women at a certain age and you're like

00:47:40.500 it just gets so hard at this age right like you have to make so many sacrifices you're basically

00:47:46.460 looking for a widower at this point right and and you are looking for marriage if if that's what you

00:47:51.960 want why would a man treat you like you're on a pedestal and like you're the most special woman in the

00:47:56.940 world if he doesn't plan to marry you right like do you want him to you want him to fake some sort

00:48:03.380 of connection if he has the feelings for you that you're describing you want him to feel for you

00:48:08.000 he should want to marry you so why isn't that the first thing you're talking about

00:48:13.660 when she's loudly signaling that's not what she wants yeah oh that's unfortunate

00:48:20.640 well i mean and she also isn't going to be desirable to the type of guy who wants that

00:48:25.860 because of her life choices and and this is all you know this should be seen as the cry

00:48:32.300 not to men out there but young women who are making the same choices that she do is you know

00:48:38.420 sex in the city i think is a really good example of this because that is what her generation was

00:48:43.220 weaned on to think oh the group of girls who goes to a fancy restaurant together is actually still classy

00:48:47.900 the jennifer parker who is the jessica sarah jessica parker who wrote this and did everything

00:48:54.680 she didn't write it but she had a lot of editorial influences she said i wish i had just

00:49:01.880 gotten married oh yeah yeah the writer of the series who wasn't sarah jessica parker oh it wasn't

00:49:06.540 okay the writer of the series the head writer say she yeah yeah that she she hadn't made these

00:49:11.000 decisions the one who sold all of this to you has said this was a giant mistake and i deeply regret

00:49:17.820 my life choices i should have just gotten married and had kids that unfortunately is

00:49:24.260 where we should all be you you shouldn't have time to be thinking about dating unless you're thinking

00:49:29.740 about who's going to be the next parent for my kids and that's the funny thing that she's not

00:49:33.800 looking for here when my mom dated after my mom and dad got divorced the only thing she ever talked

00:49:40.920 about in terms of who she was dating was how good of a parent to her kids that person confirmed that

00:49:45.620 was 100 her focus and this individual that doesn't even seem to be relevant she's interested in the

00:49:51.740 sex and the personal connection and everything like that what is this for me emotionally not even like

00:49:57.340 in terms of logistical life benefit who can i be with an old age who can i build security with an old

00:50:05.140 age who can i who can be a good additional adult figure in my kid's life no it is just who can

00:50:13.440 emotionally indulge me for fun things no if you you died for example that would be what i was looking

00:50:19.620 for you know that is what i would be vetting for the mother replacement for our kids who's gonna be

00:50:24.940 a good mom for my kids the maria to your baroness fun trap well no and even and people can be like oh

00:50:32.040 well that's so dehumanizing to a woman not even if i went on a day no i want my kids to be okay for

00:50:37.620 no like and i've told i've told malcolm that if i die he is not looking for a wife he is looking for

00:50:43.640 a woman who would love our kids and take good care but not just that and keep in mind there are great

00:50:49.400 pronatalists who have done this katherine pokalak who wrote hannah's children she came into a marriage

00:50:54.380 of with a man who already had six kids and then she had eight more and the previous wife had died by

00:51:01.480 that way well widower right you know so again not like his fault right like but if a woman was dating

00:51:07.620 me and this is the thing where people are like oh like a woman who has a lot of kids like you never

00:51:11.400 want to marry like if i have a lot of kids and i'm dating a woman who has a lot of kids because like

00:51:15.240 her husband died or something brady bunch super wholesome right and this woman is vetting me like if

00:51:22.500 she's like date number one she's like look i've got you know three four whatever kids and i want to be

00:51:27.980 honest i am primarily vetting you not based on how i feel about you but how good of a dad you're

00:51:32.100 going to be yeah that to me is positive points yeah that is like okay i'm going to take this

00:51:37.420 seriously now yeah i'm like this is clearly a woman with her head screwed on straight and i want my

00:51:42.680 kids to have a good parent and society again a society super condones that that is what the brady

00:51:46.680 bunch is all about like people people are well it used to you know can you imagine the horror of on a

00:51:51.700 current date you're like to be honest my wife died and i'm just really looking for a good

00:51:56.320 you know household manager and wife well okay in like 90s rom-coms that that would show up every

00:52:01.740 now and then but today would be seen as bad you know to her that's all tangential it's all about

00:52:08.540 the personal connection i don't know i don't i was so like i grew up so much on the sound of music

00:52:13.760 and like she maria this nun who comes to take care of captain von trapp's kids falls in love with

00:52:21.080 the kids first really like that's the dream that's like if that that's what i hope happens if i die

00:52:26.920 that you know some woman just freaking loves our kids and like then comes to love you too but that

00:52:32.120 used to be the norm yeah yeah well yeah benjamin franklin was the last son of like a lot of kids

00:52:41.680 i can't remember if it was like 10 or 16 or yeah a ton but but that was his father's second wife

00:52:48.700 maybe third like this is a this is a fairly fairly normal format at least in past successful lineages

00:52:56.800 and families but whatever anyway love you to death simone thank you for making me kids you know you're

00:53:03.260 working on it right now kid number five um and thank you for making me dinner we are doing another night

00:53:08.820 of the vermilion things are you making more sauce tonight right i have more i have more sauce i made

00:53:15.640 three servings of sauce unless you want me to make a new batch and i can't continue to use the sauce

00:53:20.120 batches that you made okay but add another lime to it because it doesn't have enough lime okay i'll add

00:53:26.220 more lime and i'll do or maybe just add like a lime wedge to the side and i can you want to do the

00:53:32.920 like some of the salad you want a little more greenery or not yeah more greenery so half salad half

00:53:38.440 vermilion noodles and cut down the vermilion noodles you're using a time vermicelli okay i will

00:53:43.760 do that really you're not gonna let that go are you okay i love you so much hey i'm i i'm so glad

00:53:53.820 we're not this person i i there was that really sad tweet by home math we're a friend of the show

00:54:00.060 and he's like look i'm in my 40s i'll never be married i'll never own a home i'll never have a

00:54:04.280 normal relationship i'm like damn man well a home that meets i mean like he was kind of couching

00:54:09.100 that and like maybe he had really high standards because he was like i will never be able to build

00:54:13.700 the home i want or customize a home to make it the way i like so maybe it's you know he's like your dad

00:54:19.480 and he's like well i need like a swimming pool that goes into my bedroom i think a lot of people when

00:54:23.940 they saw our home ass episode they thought that the reason i focused on like how can we get around

00:54:28.460 the current societal crisis was because i wanted to shill his product and the real reason i did that i just

00:54:33.460 wanted him to say something optimistic because so much of his content is really like the world's

00:54:38.840 broken and there's no way around it at least he's helped a lot of people yeah and you know i think

00:54:43.600 his choice to orient his audience around you know don't think don't hyper focus so much on what

00:54:51.680 you want for yourself but what you can give to the world and i think he has that orientation for

00:54:56.740 himself as well but he you know who's not above a moment where we slip and have a little self-pity

00:55:02.300 no but i mean he's he's providing this mindset to people younger than him who can hopefully act on

00:55:08.100 it i mean now he's a famous youtube personality but who knows when he was marrying age like early

00:55:13.880 30s and 20s you know if he was yeah yeah yeah i mean he only just skyrocketed he only just found the

00:55:18.740 success and he also like i think at one point lost 100 pounds so like yeah he may have been just

00:55:24.200 systematically in a terrible position for his dating years but i mean i also i'm worried about the

00:55:31.140 other young influencers we know you know like pearl davis is still single ruby art is still single

00:55:36.960 you know like they gotta nail it down did you know i didn't know this chris williamson is married and

00:55:41.680 has a kid all right okay that's good that's good that's good i hope tim ferris has found his person

00:55:47.380 because he's been like i mean i sort of stopped listening to his podcasts after he released cock

00:55:52.520 punch i just i don't know he knew it was like a whole fantasy world about chickens roosters i just i

00:56:04.520 i didn't get it some people got it okay i didn't get it is this my ai fantasies that you can get on

00:56:11.480 patreon where no those are those are fun those are those are a little those are a little fun no no

00:56:18.260 no he was like really into it like the character design and the extended fictional universe of

00:56:24.480 these roosters i get really into my fantasy world they're not roosters you know you're playing with

00:56:34.140 genres that are fun and tropes that are repetitive and comforting but with a slightly different slant

00:56:39.620 which is exactly what you want from everything right like twilight but make it a rich guy who's

00:56:44.680 into bbsm or you know like it's just like you know uber but make it for clothing and you know

00:56:49.740 like he like cock punch was just a little too but anyway before that he kept talking about how he

00:56:57.440 really wanted to become a dad and he was researching it he was trying to do all these things and get

00:57:01.140 healthy and find the right partner and then he wrote a book about chickens yeah that's an alternative

00:57:07.760 he could have found a partner at his level of wealth well maybe he had like for a long time

00:57:14.240 he had a really awesome girlfriend and then i think it just didn't work out with her and

00:57:17.660 i think he was dating other people i mean who knows what's going on in his personal life but

00:57:21.240 that's another influencer who i'm like oh come on man like you're gonna be he'd be a great dad

00:57:26.100 he seems like he'd be a great dad like he seems like one of those guys who might actually

00:57:35.920 like of all the influencers i know he seems like he'd be the best dad but also like i could see him

00:57:42.080 being like you know 10 of men are like baby men who like actually like babies and infants you know

00:57:47.580 they're like oh let me hold it like i could see him i could see him like you know all like muscly

00:57:51.600 wearing one of those those like kangaroo shirts just walking around with a little infant i could i

00:57:57.800 like it's uh it's a thing i could see but maybe not who knows i never i'm gonna be honest i i almost

00:58:04.040 never from like the conservative male influencers who are just like pure conservative not like chris

00:58:07.900 williamson or something or razeeb khan where they're like playful conservative i never get good dad

00:58:12.400 vibes from them i'm like no razeeb khan's a total dad not like the playful conservative oh unlike

00:58:18.640 them okay so if you're not a playful conservative if you're like sargon of a cod then or something

00:58:23.300 like that i'm like i would not want to be his kid like i'd be like have you have your razor blade

00:58:27.920 things gone away yet the cuts yeah that thing like it didn't hurt but it left freaking scars

00:58:34.220 my god anyway i gotta go get octavian love you i love you so much and recording okay

00:58:41.080 yeah i get so sad on days when we don't record

00:58:55.200 do you just sit around crying to yourself when we don't record yeah like when i had a dentist

00:59:02.080 appointment yesterday it was like no i'm glad because i have extra time to prep episodes because

00:59:08.400 we've recorded so many backlogs i know i and i i can help on that front i have some outlines i'm

00:59:13.720 working on well if we get accepted into one of these accelerators we might need a bigger backlog

00:59:17.640 because i'm gonna need to be there for like two weeks yeah well we'll see what what should happen

00:59:23.500 will happen mm-hmm god will let us know yeah how we are meant to dominate those who would oppose us

00:59:33.900 what you know what you know what you know what i know i know all right

00:59:38.300 you

Based Camp - June 27, 2025

NY Times Begs Men to Date Again： Why They're Opting Out

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