Scientifically Speaking, What Mistakes Are Men Making in Bed? with Aella
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 7 minutes
Words per Minute
203.52448
Summary
In this episode, Ayla and I discuss the rise of AI porn websites and the potential use of artificial intelligence in the sex industry. We also talk about the pros and cons of AI in the porn industry.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Hello, Ayla! It is wonderful to have you here today. Sadly, Simone is not with us today because
00:00:06.300
she is out petition collecting to run for office and she may just not be appearing in episodes for
00:00:11.680
a while now, which is a little frustrating for me. But oh, by the way, one of the really fun
00:00:16.040
episodes I'm going to do while she's not with us, because I've been meaning to do this forever
00:00:19.760
as an episode, but I haven't gotten to it, is I want to do a review. If you ever want to join me
00:00:24.500
on this, this could be fun to do, of all of the AI porn websites, have you looked into any of these?
00:00:32.100
Not recently. I did like a year or two ago, but that's like a decade in AI timelines.
00:00:37.100
Oh yeah, so okay, sorry. Before we get further on the intro, I just got to tell you about these
00:00:41.060
because they're really interesting. So they typically right now seem to fall into like one
00:00:45.400
of three categories. One is a category of AI sites that like nudes photos of women. So anyone who
00:00:52.020
you're friends with, you can submit your photos to them. I was going to try it with photos of my
00:00:55.620
wife. Like one morning I actually got interesting and I started submitting photos of my wife to see
00:00:59.620
what she would look like. So I'm going to keep it wholesome if I do. Another one, what they do is
00:01:05.200
you choose specific profiles of women, but they're like a cat girl meets you at a stream in like this
00:01:15.160
fantasy world, or like you have an elf girl as like a slave or whatever, you know, right? Like,
00:01:19.660
and you can chat with these individuals and then you can ask for photos of these individuals in
00:01:25.520
specific contexts, which is really interesting. And then the final category is creating women.
00:01:31.960
So you give a set of parameters that you would like, like a woman to be. And then the AI system
00:01:37.760
would create a woman that fits that set of parameters. And you can now ask for photos of
00:01:42.460
this woman and chat with her. Like, I want to get your thoughts on this. Cause I think you'd have
00:01:46.740
interesting. Would you like to know more? You can chat with her now? Like do they,
00:01:51.960
when it's integrated with the chatting? Yeah. So it's integrated with the chatting. So they'll
00:01:55.960
integrate the personality and, and, and background and jobs you give her was the chat feature.
00:02:03.220
Damn. And then you also get porn of her. Does she like sexy talk? Yeah. But you have to pay for
00:02:09.200
the individual picks. So you pay for credits and then the credits get porn of her. What I was going to
00:02:14.620
do if I did an episode on this and I was going to create like artificial Simone's and try to like
00:02:19.440
ask them for porn of them. And I actually got bored and tried this one morning. Cause I was like,
00:02:24.800
I want to see pictures of my wife, but like, unfortunately the pictures that they gave me
00:02:29.880
did not look enough like her. And I got sad and left. Yeah. I don't think we're quite there yet,
00:02:36.340
but I think we will be there soon. Once we're there, it's going to be incredible.
00:02:39.200
You can just like have custom wife porn all the time.
00:02:43.500
Right. And when she's not up in the morning yet, I can go online because that's what I'm,
00:02:47.440
when I was doing this, I was like, Oh, I want to talk with my wife, but she's not up yet. Can I
00:02:50.720
create like a AI simulacrum of her to talk to? No. Well, what are different ways you think AI will be
00:02:57.060
used in the, in the sex industry? Other than, I don't know. I mean, I've recently, I've been seeing
00:03:03.320
photos of me around the internet with different faces on me, which is upsetting. And they're
00:03:09.180
probably just using like face up for this right now, but it's probably going to become an AI thing
00:03:13.080
pretty shortly. Where it's just like use Aylan's body as a template. And I'm a little offended by it.
00:03:19.620
I want to ask you about offense questions. So there was something that Simone said she'd find
00:03:23.800
offensive, but I was like, it's kind of flattering in a way. So there was a guy in Japan or Korea or
00:03:29.480
something who his wife ended up divorcing him because he would hire prostitutes that looked
00:03:36.100
like her when she was younger. And I was like, that's kind of flattering. What are your thoughts
00:03:40.300
on that? Would you find that offensive? I mean, I'd probably find it painful. Like it's painful.
00:03:45.440
I guess it highlights that you're older now, right? Yeah. It's painful to like be losing out on sexual
00:03:50.860
access because your physicality is not sufficiently attractive. That's like a quite painful thing.
00:03:55.080
Hmm. Well, okay. So then you, you having other women with their face on your body,
00:04:00.940
what specifically is triggering a negative emotional reaction around? I don't know.
00:04:05.080
I don't normally, normally like the thing that you're worried about is like somebody taking your
00:04:10.960
face and putting it on a nude so people can imagine you naked, but it's like your identity,
00:04:15.740
but this is like somehow the reverse. It's like, it's my body, but like I'm erased out of it in some way.
00:04:21.540
And that feels like shockingly dehumanizing in a way I didn't expect. I didn't expect people to do
00:04:27.100
this at all. Like what the hell is the motivation? Or I don't know. Cause like they want these other
00:04:33.500
people naked, right? They want sexual access to someone who's not you. Yeah. Well, I'm not even
00:04:38.000
sure it was a real face. It wasn't even like a person. It was just like a generic face that wasn't
00:04:42.460
mine. And so they could like do it and like sort of steal it without it giving credit to me or
00:04:48.600
something. Oh, and then they would upload them. Oh, that's, Oh, that's people reporting like, Hey,
00:04:54.480
is this you? Like, this is your body. It's just like a generic. It wasn't a person. It was just,
00:05:00.400
and I'm like, that is, that was me. God damn it. You're like erasing my identity from a thing. It's
00:05:05.320
almost like something that plagiarizes your work somehow. Yeah. Well, no, it is. Well, so, so I didn't
00:05:12.520
actually finish the intro here because I got so sidetracked by interesting talk about pornography.
00:05:17.840
So Ayla is, you know, I was actually thinking today and I was trying to think, is there another,
00:05:22.580
because I've written a book on sexuality, a best-selling book on sexuality, The Pregnant
00:05:26.340
Sky to Sexuality. Check it out. It sells for like 99 cents. It's really good. I have a couple copies.
00:05:31.820
Yeah. Oh, so you like it. Yeah. So Ayla, as somebody who like is deeply interested in this field,
00:05:36.560
I was thinking you are probably the best sexual researcher in human history. And then I was
00:05:41.460
thinking, does Kinsey beat you? And I was like, not really. Kinsey is more like the Freud of human
00:05:46.120
sexual research. He is important because he had the idea to do it, but his research was terrible.
00:05:52.360
So you're probably the single best researcher on a huge chunk of humanity. And you have such low
00:05:59.900
self-esteem. I always seen your, your, your things you're like, Oh, I can't really be that great. Or
00:06:04.220
like, I remember one recently was like, are people really that bad at marketing themselves? And I'm like,
00:06:09.660
Ayla, you don't understand. Like you are top fraction of a fraction of a percent of intelligence
00:06:14.660
and agency in the human population. People really are that bad, which is fun to talk to you about
00:06:20.360
sexuality because most people don't talk about this subject. And what I had planned in this episode
00:06:25.280
talking about was people need to check out this new sub stack she's done. It is data driven advice
00:06:31.400
on how to be good in bed. And it is data driven, not just from one of maybe the most sexually experienced
00:06:38.040
people in human history, but also one of the most deep sexual researchers in human history.
00:06:43.500
Like you are not going to get, this is not like woo shit. Like this is not like you're going to like,
00:06:49.160
I'm going to, you got to, because sexual advice stuff. Like if you go to like sexuality coaches,
00:06:54.260
it's all woo. Like, like from the stuff I've seen, it's all like half of it is healing crystals
00:06:59.480
and half of it is sex stuff. She is like hard data, um, which is really cool. Um, but, uh, so
00:07:07.460
I, I'd love to get to this data, but I'm actually having fun on this topic of the future of like
00:07:13.220
online sex stuff. So do you have other thoughts on where things are going with this? If I'm even
00:07:17.700
thinking like, if I was going to blue sky, I can give you one of my thoughts on how I might use AI.
00:07:21.600
I might take like audio. So like somebody could take, like, suppose somebody wanted to engage with
00:07:30.920
someone like my wife sexually, right? Like was in an online environment. They could download like the
00:07:36.200
hours and hours. Cause we do an episode every day of our podcast of podcast episodes, create a
00:07:41.800
synthesized personality by separating out the woman's voice, put that into an AI system and have that
00:07:48.620
respond to them. Now I'm thinking of this selfishly. Cause I was actually like, okay, well, I wanted
00:07:52.800
to engage with a good emulation of my wife. That's what I should do because then I could talk to her
00:07:57.940
without distracting her from the important work she's doing. But you could also then do this with
00:08:03.280
like pictures of women or video feeds of women to create a fully like really authentically synthesized
00:08:11.980
woman. What are your thoughts? Well, and then what this is interesting. And from an evolutionary
00:08:16.900
perspective is it gives all men access to the highest quality woman possible from a masturbatory
00:08:22.960
standpoint. Yeah, this is, I mean, like it's more than masturbation is direct. Like this is part of
00:08:29.120
why OnlyFans is so successful is because it gives you direct personal access to the woman as opposed to
00:08:33.820
porn. Cause people are always like, why am I paying for porn when I could just get porn free? I'm like,
00:08:38.420
turns out there's a huge market for personalized shit. So yeah, I think there's like probably like,
00:08:43.120
it's like a more personalized masturbation, which sounds great. From my end, I'm, I'm interested
00:08:48.160
in it because like, as an OnlyFans girl, I would love to outsource my content. I would love to just
00:08:54.460
like press the button and have like the A-list simulation, you know, like talk and live stream
00:08:58.220
and do videos for my guys. That sounds wonderful. Because like, I, it's nice. I enjoy, I do genuinely
00:09:04.840
enjoy like being slutty and promiscuous on the internet. But like, honestly, I've taken so many naked
00:09:09.700
photos of myself. I kind of want to shoot myself every time I take a nude now. It's just too much
00:09:14.820
and it would be nice. I just want it to happen. You know, you created a contest around this like
00:09:20.860
a year ago, like early, early AI, you are cutting edge. So you had this huge databank of images and
00:09:28.440
you created a contest for somebody to create a really good AILA generator. Can you talk about this?
00:09:33.200
Yeah, we'd want to see if we could like, use AI basically, can we make this happen? If it turns
00:09:39.700
out, no, none of the people competing were really quite good enough. Because I think in order to
00:09:44.020
work, it has to be relatively photorealistic. Because people just it's not that exciting to
00:09:51.420
I think you literally did it the first moment somebody had the idea of doing something like
00:09:57.780
this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like I've been in the AI world, the AI safety world for long,
00:10:04.080
well before ChachiPT or AI started picking up in the last few years. So this has been like in the
00:10:09.200
stream, like pretty advanced on it, but it's just not ready.
00:10:12.640
People would know this about you as an outsider, just, you know, like AILA is really,
00:10:16.380
really high status within the AI safety world in the EA sphere. Like among the type of people who are
00:10:23.180
nerds about like Scott Alexander stuff, you're going to get maybe a third of them who are nerds
00:10:27.540
about AILA stuff. And you go to a lot of the conferences and stuff like that, because I think
00:10:33.660
like your number one main squeeze is also in that space. Yeah. Yeah. One of my partners is
00:10:38.900
president of MIRI. So that helps. Yeah. We were both in the same circles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which
00:10:47.540
is, which is interesting that you're in all these, these intellectual circles. And some people who
00:10:51.440
follow you as an outsider might not know that, that you're pretty high status within these
00:10:55.160
intellectual circles. Um, well, so I was thinking if you could automate yourself,
00:11:00.660
what could you offer that no one else is offering right now? I guess through a really high volume of
00:11:09.600
images, like I'm wondering if there's arbitrage opportunities for you as a business woman here.
00:11:13.160
So you have an unusually high number of images of yourself nude compared to other women.
00:11:18.860
You could process these images, create a better AILA generator than other people,
00:11:28.020
but you need to, it seems like a lot of the stuff is the AI stuff is good personality attachments.
00:11:34.540
How would you handle that? Do you have a big feed of like a video feed or, or video backlogs or
00:11:40.940
something like that you could use to try to create that? Or would you try to simulate it?
00:11:44.000
Like, like for personality wise, just to be clear. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. I mean, I have tons of
00:11:50.540
footage of interviews on podcasts and there's a bunch of like porn stuff. I, I would love to have
00:11:55.900
more of me to talk to people because I think I'm like relatively, I have some, some stuff to offer
00:12:03.740
and I just don't have the time or inclination. I'm like pretty solo person. I don't like hanging out
00:12:09.180
with other people that much. I'm very private in the sense that the way I spend my time. And so
00:12:14.040
it would be nice to like, have somebody like an AILA clone go out and do all that for me. I would
00:12:18.840
love that. I love that idea too. That is, that is fun. Well, I mean, so then I know you've been
00:12:26.400
thinking about maybe doing a podcast or something like that. Has that moved forwards or are you more
00:12:29.940
focused right now on the, the, the sex guide blog? Well, I'm probably gonna do a good at sex podcast.
00:12:34.140
So the plan is we bring a bunch of women together and talk about what makes sex good.
00:12:39.420
And we have some variations on this. I don't want to give you too many details, but I'm pretty excited.
00:12:44.180
I have an idea. Do you want me, I mean, are you connected with like, like documentary type teams
00:12:49.100
and stuff like that? Like, have you thought about pitching this to like Netflix and stuff?
00:12:52.940
Do you, I mean, do you have connections there? Cause I have a few.
00:12:54.940
Well, the thing is, I'm not sure that Netflix would result in the level of revenue that I'm interested in.
00:12:59.460
Oh, oh yeah. Because you want to gate content access. Good idea. Okay.
00:13:05.080
Yeah. Like right now it's, this is turning into my full-time job. Basically it's like paying me more
00:13:09.720
than only fans does. So education, your brain is now paying you more than I love it. I mean,
00:13:19.400
again, I know I'm not degrading. Like I'm like happy doing sex work and stuff, but like it's,
00:13:23.980
I'm a little burned out and I would love to just do something that engages my brain
00:13:27.540
and getting paid for it. It's so exciting. It's also less freaky because there's always this
00:13:32.320
background insecurity that like my looks are going to run out and then I can't continue earning money
00:13:37.120
through sex work. And, but this is like, oh, I could keep doing this for quite some time,
00:13:40.660
even after I start looking really ugly. So it's like, realistically, that's going to happen.
00:13:47.080
I mean, we in our society aren't supposed to tell women that, but like objectively
00:13:50.700
the, the, the, that's going to happen. And I think that being very shrewd in how you are
00:13:57.880
backstopping your career, which is also really interesting. I think that some people don't
00:14:01.540
think about with people like you is they think that the, you know, like you don't recognize this
00:14:06.280
and you aren't like doing career planning stuff and you absolutely are.
00:14:11.040
I know it's like a weird sort of like outside, I don't know, it's not quite typical mind fallacy
00:14:15.600
that people do, but I get this a lot. When, when I talk about like running an orgy, people are like,
00:14:20.220
oh, she's going to fuck so many people watch out for the STD spread. And I'm like, do you,
00:14:25.460
if you, do you not think about the logistics? Like if you think about, if you were going to run an
00:14:29.880
orgy, what would you do? You would probably require STI to, it's like a very basic thing that people
00:14:34.840
like aren't, they just sort of jump to the conclusion of what the final salacious result will be and not
00:14:39.660
be like, wait, if you logically try to plan something like this, you would probably install fail safes
00:14:43.860
or, or like good safety measures. Uh, and so it's a very similar with like sex work. People are
00:14:49.080
like, ah, she's going to get old and then be upset when nobody loves her. I'm like, did you not,
00:14:53.360
did you not think that maybe I have thought about this? You're right. Oh my God. I am going to age.
00:15:00.840
Oh my God. Nobody referred to me. It's ridiculous. I don't understand.
00:15:07.940
It reminds me of the end of Clueless when the, the lady who owns a cigarette company and
00:15:12.040
smoke cigarettes every day. And the girl goes, you know, those things cause cancer.
00:15:15.020
And she's like, oh my God, no one ever told me like, yeah, it's the same. It's the same with us.
00:15:22.240
I think a lot of people just don't put a lot of thought into the people that they're attacking
00:15:25.000
was in online environments. Like we'll get these attacks. Like, oh, they want to replace the world
00:15:29.260
with people who look like them and like, like their genetic stock. And like, I'm like, that's not
00:15:34.000
something we've ever said. And they're like, but their genetic stock is flawed because they have
00:15:38.160
glasses. And it's like, you don't want to replace people with people are like, oh,
00:15:42.640
they must be racist. And I'm like, we are like, virulently not racist. And they're like,
00:15:48.260
oh, I don't know about that. You want people to have more kids, but you're not racist. I don't
00:15:52.620
see how those two things could correlate. And it's like, what?
00:15:58.380
Yeah. It's a shame. It's like something I had to update to that. People are going to attack
00:16:03.500
versions of you and not you. Like when I was going into being public, I was like, oh, okay.
00:16:07.980
I'm ready for people to criticize who I am. But it turns out they don't. They just make
00:16:12.000
up like a straw person about you and then criticize that. And you're like, wait, wait,
00:16:16.860
though. That's, it's a lot harder to handle. I think.
00:16:21.460
Yeah. Well, no, it is. And can you hear me? Okay. By the way, I got somebody's mowing outside.
00:16:28.580
No, I don't hear it at all. I made a mistake and I got a little alert on my hair. Okay. Anyway,
00:16:33.220
wait, no. So it's really interesting. I don't know how much press you get. Like we get a decent
00:16:36.880
amount of press. Interesting things is I begin to get a feel of the different types of attack
00:16:44.160
articles where one type of attack article, and they are not correlated with the prestige of the
00:16:49.640
newspaper. One type of attack article we get pretty frequently is it's clear that somebody read the
00:16:55.920
title of another attack article, but didn't pay for the article. The Guardian does this really
00:17:01.980
frequently where they will write an attack article. And it's clearly based on the title of another
00:17:13.320
Wow. That's, that's, it has it like a super glaring. Like they'd like cite facts that are from
00:17:19.120
like before the paywall or something. Yeah. Yeah. So they'll cite facts from before the paywall. And
00:17:24.040
then they'll say other things that are like something that someone would intuit. Like they'll say stuff
00:17:28.840
like we do like explicitly racist things, which like, it's very obvious, even if you had read the
00:17:34.680
article that we spoke against that, but like, they hadn't read the article. They're just like,
00:17:38.580
oh, they're pronatalists. They must be racist. Or, or where this was really obvious to us is one of the
00:17:45.020
articles on us insinuated that we were billionaires. And then a bunch, they said billionaires like Elon Musk,
00:17:50.800
but it had a picture of want people to have more kids. And so then when other people wrote articles on
00:17:56.460
that, they would say we are billionaires. And so there's a huge genre of article Malcolm and Simone
00:18:01.780
are billionaires out there right now. I mean, it's like an awful reputation to have, but do you have
00:18:09.280
any like positive, like attack articles on you out there? Like, like, no, usually the articles
00:18:14.800
aren't explicitly attack because I think you are more like susceptible to the woke, like, or like more
00:18:20.660
of an easy target for the current cultural war. Cause like you're associated with like, are you
00:18:25.460
right wing? Are you being trad? Are you weird sex people? Nobody fucking knows. And me, I'm just like a
00:18:30.680
sex worker. And I think this confuses people because like a lot of the mainstream media right now is sort
00:18:35.340
of like at least lip service pro sex work. So I think this is confused a lot of the ways that people
00:18:41.660
talk about me. Normally I'm in, I'm in media that I didn't volunteer to participate in because people
00:18:47.660
are reporting on something outrageous that I've tweeted. And then that, that will get through the same
00:18:52.800
repeat. Like there'll be like one big article that somebody writes like, Hey, look at this insane
00:18:56.440
thing. She didn't shower very much. And then there'll just be like a whole string of other
00:19:00.640
articles where people are like copying over that information. I'm like,
00:19:04.000
No, but I, I, well, I mean, of the attention economy, you grab a lot of it. I love that. Very,
00:19:10.440
very good at that. It's not really that intentional to be clear. I was like, normally I'm like, I didn't
00:19:15.560
know this was the thing guys, but okay. But by the way, I don't know if this has happened to you.
00:19:19.020
One of the types of articles that now we watch out for a lot is somebody spotted us meeting
00:19:23.400
publicly with a friend. And now like that entire friend group doesn't talk to us. And like now we
00:19:29.840
cannot meet publicly with people anymore. Like I can't go publicly to restaurants with friends. I
00:19:34.500
can't like, it's really weird. Like I didn't expect this to happen as quickly. Have you had that happen
00:19:40.440
to you? Like somebody was like, no, I don't think I have the hate attention of mainstream publications in
00:19:46.940
the same way you do for some reason. I'm more of a, this is, this is, this is Julia Black, a stalker
00:19:53.600
who, you know, I don't have a stalker like that there. I, it is a little weird though. Cause like
00:20:00.820
I have no, I've hung out with somebody like at conferences, like publicly, I'm talking to people
00:20:05.520
who like, maybe their reputations could be damaged by seeing associated with me, but you know,
00:20:10.460
nothing happens. So I think maybe I just don't have a, like you are, you have a thing. I think
00:20:15.200
you're like easily compressed into sort of a trope, which is like the pro natalist racist
00:20:20.220
or something. And I don't think I'm like quite as like the weird sex workers, like less of a
00:20:26.200
powerful trope. So I think I'm less vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think that outsiders
00:20:31.480
look at this, they're like, Oh, well, I think the trope that you get grouped into, which you don't
00:20:35.180
fall into at all is, and it's interesting. It's actually almost as strong as us. So it was us
00:20:39.680
we're pro natalist, but we're really anti-racism. And we try to signal that really loudly,
00:20:43.520
but people don't always notice you are a sex worker, but you are also, I consider a very high
00:20:48.900
tier intellectual and you try to signal that. But a lot of people probably like group you in was
00:20:53.380
like sex worker must be bimbo. I get those comments so much. It's like, why is anybody
00:20:58.080
taking this horse seriously? I get that constantly. Or like, she's a sex worker opinion discarded.
00:21:02.620
It's like a, almost like you could copy paste that comment. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like how could you,
00:21:08.220
you are. And for people who don't know, we hang out with like a lot of the quote unquote,
00:21:13.600
like dissident intellectual class. She is pretty much universally respected was in that community
00:21:18.420
as an intellectual. Other people might not be out there saying that. So one thing I wanted to talk
00:21:22.860
about before we end this, cause, cause this was actually what prompted me to reach out to you about
00:21:26.720
this was a chart that you put together of how much women like it, how much men do it of sexual
00:21:35.200
fetishes. Yeah. Or less, it's like a little bit more sex acts as opposed to fetishes, but there are
00:21:41.200
some fetishes in there. Yeah. And to encourage people to get your thing, I am going to gray this
00:21:47.220
out. So people won't know if their thing is on here or not, but you also put into this, what was
00:21:52.060
really interesting is the standard deviation for like ratings. Like, is there less variance or more
00:21:57.020
variances? Is this one of these things that people either hate or love, or is it something that like
00:22:01.940
most people agree on? There was one thing that really surprised me on here a lot, actually. And
00:22:08.180
it was that almost no women like this. And it was, he doesn't care that much if you come or not,
00:22:17.580
which is interesting because I've actually heard the opposite from women or in a lot of
00:22:22.040
sources that I knew, which is that women don't like when a guy is over-focused on whether or not
00:22:26.420
she came. Now, of course, in the, also in the negative camp is like thinking you came when you
00:22:31.180
didn't came, asking you if you came, if you didn't come. So it's basically like, he needs to make you
00:22:35.740
come, but not be concerned about it. But it was really fascinating to me. I was wondering if you had
00:22:42.720
thoughts on that. Like, is this something you expected when you were doing this or?
00:22:46.280
I was also pretty surprised by this result, but I guess it like makes sense if you think about it.
00:22:50.100
Like, I have another one in there that's like, he's disappointed if you don't come. And like,
00:22:54.260
people are much more split on this. So it's like a weird thing where he has to care. And, but like,
00:23:00.560
he can't, you're right. He has to like thread the needle. My guess is that women don't want to feel
00:23:03.780
pressured. Like, oh shit. Like, I, I don't want to feel like I need to come. Like, but they want him
00:23:09.880
to care a little bit, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, okay. So I'm trying to think what
00:23:14.900
are some of the ones that are the most she likes it, but men always never do it. One that's a real
00:23:19.660
outlier here is he wants to role play non-consent. Our, one of our other videos was used on non-consent
00:23:26.220
parties. So this, if we speak of female, male arbitrage, this is a huge area of arbitrage. Women like
00:23:33.780
non-confit more than men do it. Yeah, absolutely. This is, I mean, this is one of the most,
00:23:39.820
the things that appears in my data, like regardless of the study I do or what I'm measuring,
00:23:44.040
like women wanting to submit more than men want to dominate is just basically across the board.
00:23:49.380
And again, like we were saying, like in like recently that like sadism tends to be one of
00:23:54.360
the subclasses in which this is pronounced, but it's pronounced all over. I think, and it should make
00:23:59.800
sense. Like men are like afraid of being dominant and like maybe men legitimately aren't
00:24:03.500
dominant, which is a kind of weird topic in itself. But yeah, absolutely. Women way more
00:24:08.340
into that weird topic. Maybe men aren't dominant. What have you seen in this area?
00:24:13.800
Well, like what are your thoughts? Well, I mean, so this is one of the very,
00:24:17.520
very early things that got me into sex research. I was actually listening to Jeffrey Miller give a talk
00:24:22.500
on childhood. By the way, I really, we haven't had him on the podcast. I'm gonna make a note.
00:24:28.280
Continue. Yeah, he's great. But this is, I met him back in 2018 when he was, I was living in New York
00:24:34.400
and he was there and he was like giving a little talk to the rationalists, I think. And I remember
00:24:38.620
being like, whoa, he's, I asked him, you know, why are more men dominant than women are submissive?
00:24:43.560
And he like, he didn't really know, which makes sense because nobody fucking knows. It turns out
00:24:47.800
this has been like one of the biggest focuses in my research since then. And like, there's various theories,
00:24:52.480
but I don't have a good sense of why. Like one, it's like maybe it's a testosterone thing and
00:24:56.900
testosterone levels are dropping. So everybody's getting more submissive. Maybe. Maybe it's like
00:25:01.420
the game. I can give you an answer. I know the answer. Yeah. No. I know. I actually do know the
00:25:07.380
answer. I can give you the answer. Okay. Look at the genetic data from the agricultural transition
00:25:13.840
period in human history. So this is like right when we were transitioning to an agricultural society in
00:25:19.080
the early agricultural period, 14 women would have children for every one man that would have
00:25:23.780
children. So you didn't need this to appear at the same rate across men. For some men, it was about
00:25:29.660
just not dying and having one or two kids. Whereas for the dominant chieftains, women would
00:25:35.860
conglomerate toward them. So you don't need men and women to perfectly match. Men need to either be super
00:25:44.520
dominant when they're in the chieftain or king role or be submissive and knightly to the, to the extent
00:25:50.400
that they are able to follow a chieftain or king, which is a different psychological subset.
00:25:55.100
I, yeah, I think that this is a theory. I think this is related to my, my gay uncle theory where some
00:25:59.540
men sort of self-selected out because of like fewer men reproduced than women. Although I hadn't tied
00:26:05.640
it specifically to the concept of like the chieftain thing, but I'm not totally convinced about this
00:26:10.440
though. Tell me what you think is bad about this theory. I mean, 14 women were breeding for every
00:26:15.820
man. That's 14 women to one man. That's what was happening on average. That means that many men
00:26:20.280
had 30 wives. Right. But like, like, could we not say something like, oh, say the dominant man
00:26:27.920
reproduces at like a much higher rate. The dominant genes get spread or, but like, maybe there's some,
00:26:33.360
some mitigating factor. Some of the men have his genes like are deliberately are not competing. Like
00:26:39.340
why waste resources on them at all? Like they have to have some sort of comparative advantage.
00:26:43.060
And it seems weird to not like be spending all of the genes on the thing that has the max advantage.
00:26:47.620
Like, like things tend to be just really competitive in that way. And similar to like,
00:26:51.460
why, like, I think the gay uncle, like literally the gay uncle theory part is bad because like a gay,
00:26:56.320
like why would you spend genes on having a gay man? Like the selfish gene theory, like those genes,
00:27:00.660
there's no such good of the group kind of thing. I don't know. I'm not really expressing myself
00:27:04.440
the gay uncle theory. I'm sorry. I don't think the gay uncle theory split it out here. First of all,
00:27:08.280
what you said was really smart. I like it. And I'm probably wrong. You convinced me I'm probably
00:27:12.360
wrong there. Okay. Gay uncle theory. I don't know. I'm just saying you're not necessarily right.
00:27:16.520
I'm saying, I don't know. It's not enough information. Gay uncle theory is the theory that
00:27:20.440
gay men have, either they invest in childcare for their siblings in a way that increases the number
00:27:27.800
of kids they can have, or they have siblings of gay men who have kids, particularly women have
00:27:35.240
female offspring that are more feminine than they otherwise would be. They're the two iterations of
00:27:40.420
the gay uncle theory. The problem is, is you would just need to have so many extra kids to offset the
00:27:45.820
kids the gay uncle is having. It doesn't make sense. Also, it doesn't make sense because you see
00:27:50.280
similar rates of gay populations in animal species where you have no parental care, mammal species
00:27:55.960
specifically. These are my two arguments. Thank you. That's the, I, this is, I didn't
00:28:02.040
actually know that. And it's, I like that you're strengthening my argument though.
00:28:05.940
Yeah. Well, I mean, so people don't often consider if, if I would have two kids, like, okay, suppose
00:28:12.160
I'm supposed to have four kids and my gay uncle's supposed to have four kids, but he decides to have
00:28:17.360
no kids and we still need to be like genetically successful as a family. Then I need to double the
00:28:22.340
number of kids I'm having. Like, that's really hard. If you look at my family, historically,
00:28:26.560
I have my family's birth records. If I go great grandfather and back for like every person for
00:28:32.940
like four generations, we had 12 kids each. A gay uncle was not going to double the 12 kids.
00:28:38.780
Yeah. That's, that's a good point. Yeah. So, I mean, like there might be like maybe roundaboutly
00:28:46.600
something to the gay uncle theory, but I find it kind of implausible. And for that reason,
00:28:51.540
I'm like less swayed by thoughts that like maybe men's like are self-selecting out of the gene pool
00:28:56.060
a little bit by being submissive. I'm like, why would that be beneficial at all? My guess is it's
00:29:00.480
more likely some sort of like weird anomaly or like a change in, in testosterone levels or something,
00:29:05.880
but I don't know. Very interesting. Okay. I want to see if any other, other things here
00:29:11.840
strike me as interesting. Oh, here's one. So, so the, he wants to role-play non-consent. Like that
00:29:17.820
was a controversial one, right? One that women really like that not many men ask for is you edge
00:29:25.480
him and he edges you. Yeah. I was really surprised by that one. Edging in women is popular, but not
00:29:33.680
in men. Yeah. I don't know what that, I don't even know. I'm not really into edging personally. So
00:29:41.120
it's like hard for me to develop. I've met someone who told me they were into edging,
00:29:45.080
but apparently men don't ask this enough. So yeah. To be fair in this survey, the, I actually
00:29:52.900
didn't use identical phrasings for both of the edging. So it's possible that there's some artifact
00:29:56.820
making like the gender thing different, but the over the absolute location of them are correct.
00:30:01.400
Um, but yeah, I don't know. Here's one that almost all women are into or a lot of women are into,
00:30:09.420
but like guys don't realize what they're into. He's experimental suggesting unusual things,
00:30:16.400
or he asks you to try an unusual, but inoffensive fetish. So knowing your inoffensive fetishes as a
00:30:23.460
guy is actually pretty safe with women. Even if there was one that was like, it even showed,
00:30:28.940
even if you're not interested in it, I can't remember what that, like, but that was the
00:30:33.240
word you used. I think that might be the unusual, but inoffensive fetish one, I think.
00:30:38.500
Okay. I can't remember. Another one that's actually pretty common from,
00:30:43.380
I think it surprised a lot of people is he's aroused by your pain.
00:30:48.240
That not a lot of men are. Yeah. Yeah. This is a sadism gap. Men just don't like hurting women that
00:30:54.720
much, which is so funny because like a lot of like the anti-porn feminist stuff is like,
00:30:58.800
oh, porn is corrupting men to make them like more brutal and rough with women. I'm like,
00:31:07.400
It's so funny you say this. So we wanted to do an episode and this is what actually encouraged,
00:31:12.360
one of the things that encouraged us to reach out to you is I wanted to do a,
00:31:15.640
the data versus Mary Harrington. I like Mary Harrington. I've met her. We've done interviews
00:31:20.280
with her. She's a nice person, but she will go out and say things like men like choking women
00:31:26.100
because they watch porn. And this means they hate women or like, they look down on women. I'm like,
00:31:31.320
no women like being choked and not enough damn men are choking them. That's what the data says.
00:31:39.580
Yep. Absolutely. This is like one of the most robust findings around sex research is that women
00:31:44.780
desperately want men to do this more. Although to be clear, this is like pretty bimodal for women.
00:31:48.580
So like, this is like the hurt me, please me spectrums that we have been talking about. Like,
00:31:54.220
like, this might be why we're seeing such like a pushback publicly is because like women either
00:31:58.520
really like being choked and hurt or they fucking hate it. And so you probably have women who fucking
00:32:02.840
hate it, who are like, what the hell porn is teaching men to do things to me that I don't want
00:32:07.280
them to do. And they sort of typical mind assume all of the other women are the same. Whereas like,
00:32:11.380
if things were like more, you know, normal distribution, maybe that those are less polarizing for the
00:32:15.880
discourse. Yeah, no, I think that's really powerful. And I think that that's where we
00:32:20.160
need to move. Like if you're having the honest discourse, which is what we try to do on this
00:32:23.380
podcast, the truth is, is that this is a bimodal thing. You need to establish before you sleep with
00:32:29.060
someone, whether or not this is something that they're interested in. Know that many more women
00:32:34.580
who are interested in this have their partners actually doing it with them. But there is a portion
00:32:38.700
of women who sleep with men who are trained to do this by the many women they're sleeping with,
00:32:43.700
because on average, like half of women are into this. And then they do it with this one woman who
00:32:48.020
like hates it, like it's a very bimodal. And they're like, Oh my God, how could you have done
00:32:51.820
that to me? Do you hate me? Do you hate women? Are you a monster? Did you learn this from porn? And
00:32:56.300
it's like, no, I learned it from my ex. She told me she liked it. I don't know.
00:33:05.820
Although I don't, I don't know. I mean, the data might say it's bimodal. My experience is it's like 80%
00:33:11.980
of women. Well, it might be some selection effect. So like I have two boyfriends right
00:33:16.620
now. One of the boyfriends is like, Hmm, it sure seems like almost every woman I have sex with wants
00:33:20.900
me to hurt her. That's interesting. I have my other boyfriend. It's like, I just have never really come
00:33:26.120
across women who want rough sex. And I'm just like, what? And I don't need to know who they are. I want
00:33:33.880
to know the personality profile. How are they attracting these two different categories?
00:33:37.220
Yeah, it's, it's, it's so they both have extremely high body count. So it's not like there's something
00:33:43.440
that they're putting out that's attracting different women. So I'm saying, I think you might be putting
00:33:47.280
out the like, somehow, I don't know. But like, it's interesting, because both of them are quite
00:33:52.160
traditionally male and like dominant feeling. They're both like, I'm a man who will ravish you,
00:33:57.760
but in different ways. I think one of them's a lot sweeter.
00:34:00.980
Is the one who attracts the women who don't want that sweeter?
00:34:03.840
No. No. Oh, okay. So here's the, here's the hypothesis.
00:34:09.860
Oh, sorry. I don't want. Yes. Sorry. I was confused by your, the one who, we don't want
00:34:14.080
to attract the women who want to be hurt. Sweet guy attracts vanilla girls. Though to be
00:34:18.760
fair, he's still quite, I sweet feels like it's not really summing it up. He's much more
00:34:23.340
emotive. He's like very emotional, like he sinks into his body, embodied, like very like.
00:34:28.000
Is this the one I met? Cause he seemed very sweet to me.
00:34:30.120
Which one did you, I thought, did you not meet both of?
00:34:33.760
Oh, I thought, I don't know. I, I, I, the number one main squeeze guy who I've referenced before.
00:34:41.740
Well, he, he, he, he's definitely more of the, he attracts women who are more like,
00:34:46.720
No, we're not naming anyone. We're not. Okay. Okay. Okay.
00:34:53.580
Oh yeah. You have a post about like, um, I really want this guy right now or something.
00:34:59.340
And like talking about your relationship is fun. I like it.
00:35:03.240
Yeah. It's, it's been going well. He, he likes it when I talk about him because he was the one
00:35:08.440
that wrote me like the, you're not that pretty card. I don't know if you saw this at all.
00:35:11.800
I love that post continue, but that was in private Kayla room, right?
00:35:17.780
In, I posted this on Twitter and my file and people started writing.
00:35:21.140
This is one of the things that people wrote articles about.
00:35:23.040
Sorry. I never know what's from the private chat and what's not.
00:35:31.220
Yeah. So he wrote, he told me I wasn't that pretty. It was in context. It made more sense
00:35:35.320
because I was like, I think everybody's gaslighting me about how hot I am.
00:35:38.480
They're saying I'm pretty. I don't think I'm that pretty. And he was like,
00:35:40.700
yeah, you're not that pretty. I was like, my poor heart. Anyway,
00:35:43.620
he wrote me a card saying, I'm sorry, because it was very sweet moment that he
00:35:46.920
ruined by saying that. I'm glad he did anyway. And then I posted on Twitter,
00:35:50.340
it went viral. And then at the end of the viral tweet, I was like,
00:35:54.060
if anybody wants to apply to have sex with him, here's a,
00:36:01.700
He fair, he's, this is, he can call me not that pretty all day. Okay.
00:36:07.520
Which is interesting. So the, the form actually got quite a lot of responses.
00:36:12.980
I think he had 150 women fill it out and he has had sex with a lot of them at
00:36:16.960
this point, which is interesting that something like that attracts so many
00:36:20.560
women. Like my guess is that they were seeing him sort of neg me in a sense.
00:36:24.860
And like, I'm like relatively like in this context, high status, right.
00:36:28.620
Cause I'm like, I have a lot of Twitter followers or whatever.
00:36:34.120
if I can have sex with this guy, this sort of means that I'm special.
00:36:37.180
About having sex with him. You have had sex with lots of people.
00:36:43.660
but one of the primary mechanisms that serves girls for me was other girls
00:36:49.900
One girl would tell all her friends, one, you can sleep with him.
00:36:56.740
And I think that guys underestimate it. It's so funny.
00:36:59.440
All these red pillars are out there like trying to be like,
00:37:02.440
and it's not like I identify as a red pillar to some extent.
00:37:04.960
I think they see some things that are true, but like,
00:37:12.360
And it's like the easiest way to get women to have sex with you is to have
00:37:15.600
another woman who they respect saying you should go and have sex with this
00:37:18.280
guy. Yeah. Oh yeah. Super. That's the girl whisper network.
00:37:21.660
This is the way reason I originally had sex with this guy actually is because
00:37:25.300
one of my friends who he used to date was like,
00:37:27.860
I think you might really enjoy sex with him. And I was like, take your,
00:37:31.000
this is a good vouch. I'll go try it. Sure not to be right.
00:37:38.640
Well, Catherine the Great used to have a person,
00:37:41.900
but it's at least heavily canonized myth that Catherine the Great used to
00:37:46.320
have a woman who was supposed to sleep with all of her potential partners
00:37:51.780
That's so smart. Wait, I should get one of these.
00:38:00.740
he has another girlfriend who I like quite a lot and she's so super slutty.
00:38:04.660
So I can just have, and we have very similar sex tastes.
00:38:15.680
Well, I mean with 150 potential applicants here,
00:38:18.700
this is what you get for sexually pleasing someone like Aayla.
00:38:21.560
You get it published on Twitter and then a huge pool of applicants coming to you.
00:38:28.980
I think when you talk about the sweet guy versus the not sweet guy,
00:38:33.680
I actually think contrarianism might be the difference.
00:38:36.420
is the guy who is attracting the vanilla girls,
00:38:42.860
it's, well, it depends on what you mean by contrarian.
00:38:47.120
Does he like arguing and disagreeing with the mainstream perspective?
00:38:56.120
But he's very good at holding his ground and not like giving into what women sort of want.
00:39:01.000
Like he passed a shit test with flying collars kind of thing.
00:39:08.840
first I'll define a shit test for people who don't know what they are.
00:39:11.360
It's a theory was in the red pill community that women will test you for your dominance
00:39:23.340
I've gotten like maybe two shit tests in my entire life.
00:39:30.900
I'm too blind to notice that they were shit testing me.
00:39:34.780
because like the way that red pillars talk about shit tests are usually extremely obvious.
00:39:39.420
Like the girl will like insult you and see if you falter or she'll like ask you to hold
00:39:44.800
But I think the vast majority of shit tests are significantly subtler and they're more like,
00:39:49.280
like asking you a question to see if you try to like say a response that feels like
00:40:05.460
It's only really a shit test in like trad culture or something.
00:40:10.120
They're just like inconsiderate and they think they're being shit tested.
00:40:15.300
Is they would ask me stuff or maybe the reason they didn't shit test me is it was obvious
00:40:19.020
I didn't care what they like mainstream society thought or what their opinion was.
00:40:23.120
And I think that what the test might be deployed for is men who are trying to get a woman to
00:40:29.080
sleep with them by pretending to mirror their belief system.
00:40:36.540
Did you read the sex is a status game post that I wrote?
00:40:48.080
It's one of the tabs I have open on my screen right now,
00:40:53.000
just describing like the ways that we do status games in interactions and how this
00:40:57.940
And it's a lot of people have like a really negative connotation with the concept of
00:41:02.620
It's very like game-like and often it's very like playful.
00:41:09.140
And so like I break down videos of like analyzing how like the status play is
00:41:12.800
happening and like romantic interactions or whatever.
00:41:14.940
But I think that shit tests are like one subcategory of this.
00:41:18.240
you're testing the guy to see if he can like not be broken underneath your will or
00:41:31.800
Or am I seeing like a version of this guy who's like trying to warp himself
00:41:37.520
So guys might not understand how important this is for women.
00:41:42.640
So when I've been giving women like dating and sex advice and stuff like that,
00:41:45.740
they're like, how do I tell if a guy's just telling me what I want to hear,
00:41:49.700
or if he is actually being honest to who he is,
00:41:52.820
because I'm looking for either a long-term partner or something like that.
00:41:57.860
they can just tell them what they want to hear to get the woman to sleep with
00:42:01.060
There is a reason for women to be vetting for this,
00:42:04.400
but I think that there's a certain type of guy.
00:42:07.660
Who's just so obviously not telling people what they want to hear that they
00:42:17.520
this guy doesn't give a shit what I think about him.
00:42:28.080
I have a podcast now that I have a reason to have you on to talk with me
00:42:32.620
doesn't reach out to talk with my friends unless there's some immediate
00:42:38.100
what's the advantage of talking to this individual right now,
00:42:45.620
And so I'm glad that I have this excuse to chat with you in a way that
00:42:49.540
potentially advances most of our interests and to advance her interests,
00:42:54.480
And if you want to learn how to be good in bed for your long-term partner,
00:42:58.700
I'm not sure if this weird thing I'm into is actually normal to be into
00:43:13.560
this would be a good solo episode and I can put it on the screen.
00:43:22.060
Cause I've been doing free research publishing and quite a lot of work for
00:43:26.180
Maybe I should try and get a little bit of pay.
00:43:30.880
What was the point of sleeping with all these people?
00:43:35.860
If you weren't doing it to collect data so that now you can turn around and
00:43:43.600
do you want somebody who objectively has more data on sleeping with people
00:43:50.220
but a hundred thousand people in human history.
00:44:05.500
you probably know more about sex and is one of the reasons why your
00:44:10.160
if you watch the first interview I did with her in the series,
00:44:17.000
You're so stilted when like you start conversations and stuff like that.
00:44:20.820
Like you're just interested in the data and you're like,
00:44:35.040
this woman's a quote unquote sex worker or whatever.
00:44:37.660
That means that she must be like a charismatic type woman.
00:44:45.340
I can't occasionally be good at role-playing it.
00:44:47.340
I feel like I've learned to like step into like the hot woman character.
00:44:51.580
How do you role-play a charismatic feminine woman?
00:44:58.580
which is like a guide to being seductive or something where I go through all
00:45:02.420
of like the concrete small shifts to my body language that I make in order
00:45:05.700
to like become a woman that men find attractive.
00:45:25.060
And so I did this over time and you get very rapid feedback.
00:45:28.180
Like people are either giving you money or they're not.
00:45:29.940
And like your average money earning like affects your rankings.
00:45:33.260
So you have like really clear in like feedback about like the kinds of
00:45:37.780
things that you're doing that leads to people giving you more money.
00:45:40.600
And over time I did this for like five or six years over time.
00:45:45.140
different body language and different ways I use my voice generates more
00:45:49.680
like iteration led to being able to be like a hot woman.
00:45:56.640
I've watched interviews with you where you're like,
00:45:58.720
I looked up the top videos in the camming site and stuff like that.
00:46:02.380
I tried to develop patterns in the statistics of these videos.
00:46:08.620
I had like instructions on the wall behind me for like different body
00:46:20.600
And so you have to like signal sexual arousal and,
00:46:26.060
What is the number one advice you'd give to a girl who was
00:46:37.120
My audience is disproportionately severely autistic.
00:47:05.780
Maybe like talk slower and use simpler language.
00:47:14.060
Talk to a man like they're little dumb animals.
00:47:16.580
They will think that you are a little dumb animal and that is what they want to believe.
00:47:32.740
there was something else I wanted to ask you that I was really excited about in regards to.
00:47:38.560
A really fun one might be to do like a interview version of like a how do you get escorts thing.
00:47:48.460
like what the process of hiring an escort and vetting an escort is like.
00:48:12.520
like they would ask me like other VCs and stuff like that.
00:48:16.140
do you want to go hang out with an escort tonight?
00:48:31.000
I think the cultural attitude towards escorts was so different over there.
00:48:35.200
have you done anything in Japan or Korea or anything like that?
00:48:59.040
Find out who the number one escort or sexual influencer is in both of those cultures.
00:49:05.480
they will almost certainly know who you are or be likely to reply to you.
00:49:12.620
I E have them write something for your blog about their culture,
00:49:16.860
and then do an episode with them on their podcast or anything like that.
00:49:21.000
And you will both draw an audience that neither of you has full access to right now.
00:49:53.880
I don't know if you had the same impact on you,
00:49:57.840
And I noticed that every time the video came on my timeline,
00:50:04.680
there's something in it that's like hitting my brain that like,
00:50:16.280
although you just add a sex drive on top of it and it might amplify it.
00:50:20.920
Like a lot of sexual things are kind of like that.
00:50:24.360
we need a meme of when Simone was pretending to do it.
00:50:39.100
you take like the most expressive features and you blow it up.
00:50:48.280
talk as though they're an animated character and everything is like more
00:50:53.140
And this is very much sort of what she was doing.
00:50:56.360
she had like makeup that emphasized like more neon,
00:51:03.960
And these would also remind me of something that we were talking about on
00:51:07.300
which is that people think that these people are like idiots who are doing
00:51:32.640
she's doing this to support a kid and give them a good life.
00:51:46.000
you have to have some level of like intelligence and boldness.
00:51:49.440
It's like really hard to be on the front wave of a viral thing and like,
00:52:00.780
I'm just having fun talking to you now at this point.
00:52:11.600
Here's something that I guess I shouldn't be that surprised about.
00:52:14.360
Cause everybody tells you this something that guys do a lot that women are not
00:52:18.480
actually interested in is he focuses primarily on your vagina as opposed to
00:52:25.140
And this one is interesting because in one of my updated surveys where this
00:52:30.720
but then I had another survey where men predict what women like and which is
00:52:36.480
And men over predicted women's preference for focus on clitoris.
00:52:39.960
So this is not because men are not aware that women do not like clitoris
00:52:45.680
They just don't want to as much as women want it.
00:53:00.540
The other one I was surprised about that both men did a lot and women liked
00:53:04.180
a lot because I didn't think either one of these things would be the case
00:53:09.920
Doggy style is in an incredibly difficult position to make good in my
00:53:25.280
I've said like five feet girls with doggy style with a strap on before.
00:53:28.040
And then you can't really do that much in terms of grabbing or touching
00:53:47.400
Like not all women of all height and all men of all height can doggy
00:53:51.860
You need to have a very tight matchup for that to work for it to be one of
00:53:59.280
And women like a lot was very surprising to me.
00:54:04.460
but maybe cause I like it more than you like it.
00:54:08.180
Maybe these logistical problems aren't a problem for you and you're not
00:54:16.900
it's definitely like one of the less comfortable,
00:54:19.280
but there's something like it hits like an unusual,
00:54:25.460
And I think it's a little bit more dehumanizing,
00:54:29.040
you can like more clearly see a penis entering.
00:54:31.320
So if you were visually stimulated by watching penis.
00:54:37.160
But what you're watching it entering is undifferentiated from a man
00:54:46.880
I'm not seeing any of the sexually dimorphic characteristics.
00:54:54.580
Women don't have as much of that as most women think they do.
00:55:18.300
She's growing out her hair again to have like medium links,
00:55:22.240
And something that I've noticed is that at different stages of a woman's
00:55:25.360
there's different optimal like look categories.
00:55:37.680
Or recently we're watching Packers was like early Angelina Jolie.
00:55:46.800
And so she needs to change the way she's presenting to be sort of
00:56:00.860
Like what are your thoughts on other things where like you can change your
00:56:22.480
And so it seems like she's sort of like has a lot of pretty points to
00:56:25.820
spend before it actually starts impacting people's attraction to her,
00:56:29.060
which makes sense that she can pull off short hair.
00:56:41.540
Like when you're older and you're still trying to optimize signs of
00:56:49.560
I suspect that this is the path you're going to go as a sex icon,
00:56:53.200
which is a lot of sex icons sort of refuse to give up the ephemera of
00:57:07.320
Like she tries to capture this young look where I actually think that as
00:57:11.760
you could probably get a wider audience by appealing to a new kink around
00:57:19.440
But my guess is people still like hot older women.
00:57:31.760
You don't notice like a lot of like older celebrities that look sort of their
00:57:35.740
maybe just look like they've aged super well and are still kind of pretty.
00:57:50.560
Like I would like to my body as much as possible.
00:57:58.480
I don't say about people who have surgery themselves.
00:58:06.280
I think it's like suffers from sort of visibility bias,
00:58:15.340
all the trans people you've seen are bad at passing.
00:58:18.520
All the plastic surgery you've seen is by definition,
00:58:22.620
but tons of people get little tweaks all the time.
00:58:28.860
I think that you're right about plastic surgery with trans people.
00:58:31.740
I heard something about trans people recently that really stuck with me,
00:58:39.180
the passing trans person is actually pretty rare.
00:58:42.180
And that because of that trans people sort of rely on society to go along
00:58:52.740
And this is why it's so important for the trans movement to push so hard
00:58:56.500
because most trans people don't pass and they rely on everyone pretending that
00:59:03.720
which I think is actually quite cruel for trans people.
00:59:05.800
Like you're doing like this weird psychological thing where like,
00:59:10.400
but like other people aren't going to treat you like a woman,
00:59:15.340
just creates a lot of confusion and dysphoria for them,
00:59:19.240
I did update in this direction after like occasionally meeting people that I
00:59:23.440
thought were cis that turned out to be translator.
00:59:33.020
like my felt sense of like the passingness of trans people is like,
00:59:37.320
actually has been off because I was failing to take into consideration.
00:59:44.520
that did shift the way that I viewed trans people,
00:59:57.240
Nikki is somebody like I was aware of vaguely for many years.
01:00:01.040
She's just like this woman who does makeup tutorials.
01:00:08.480
And then at one point she had a coming out where she admitted that she was
01:00:13.320
I think that was actually probably one of the best things that happened.
01:00:17.780
When I catch trans women who otherwise passes because they're attractive,
01:00:21.660
but she's not attractive enough for me to question it.
01:00:52.460
And that is like the most offensive thing you can say,
01:00:55.580
but I genuinely think that's the way most people feel.
01:00:59.960
That was basically what I argued in my article.
01:01:07.980
the way that we've practically use the concept of a trend of a woman is
01:01:17.520
And I think we need to develop better technology to help people pass.
01:01:21.540
I would want to like go all the way to the opposite side and be convincing.
01:01:25.360
And that would be the thing that feels best for me.
01:01:26.800
And I think everybody should have access to that.
01:01:30.580
I think that we should have technology that doesn't mean that they need to
01:01:34.100
I think that we should have technology that allows them to fill any body
01:01:37.700
And I think a lot of trans people who I know don't actually want to fully
01:01:47.780
is right now there's like this ghoulish plastic surgery monster
01:01:52.460
that isn't necessarily particularly different from an old woman.
01:01:58.220
It's just a product of the technology that we have right now.
01:02:07.400
And especially when you try to attribute that much trauma to being like
01:02:14.620
I can't imagine how much pain they experience every day.
01:02:18.340
I'm really hoping AI gives us like updates in tech that allows us to
01:02:21.580
modify bodies in a way that like helps this for you.
01:02:26.060
I think what we're actually going to see before that is people are not
01:02:31.460
And I think that this will enable non in-person interactions at a higher
01:02:37.340
level within this community where they can better model themselves as
01:02:42.160
other types of things within online environments.
01:02:45.320
Cause I think that comes before better transition technology.
01:03:01.720
You could use that to arbitrage online environments.
01:03:11.540
it probably wouldn't be that hard for somebody else to compete.
01:03:16.200
I think to generate as much information to make good models,
01:03:25.340
I'm just looking for excuses to keep talking to you.
01:03:33.380
So we met the first time and we ended up talking to like 3 AM that day.
01:03:46.960
I can be with a billionaire and I will take naps in between talking sessions
01:04:05.160
felt like meeting somebody from your hometown or something.
01:04:21.820
I have pushed hard for who I think would be a good father in a few unsubtle suggestions.
01:04:29.900
Who seems to have some level of dedication to you and cares about you.
01:04:33.860
But this is just me as an outsider saying this is a physically fit,
01:04:39.580
intellectually person who seems to care about you.
01:04:46.600
I am going through an egg phrasing process soon.
01:05:14.900
and when we talk to like young people about this and they're like,
01:05:31.420
If you have kids that are around my kid's age to marry and they're like
01:05:51.580
why do you want to marry somebody like was in your family?
01:06:00.920
but the best marriages are second cousin care marriages in terms of
01:06:11.080
then we have to keep this recording then so that they can play it at
01:06:32.180
right now we're at 13.7 thousand hours of watch time per 28 day period.
01:06:42.580
We have about like 13 people watching us talk at any given time.
01:06:49.700
I really appreciate it and have a spectacular day.
01:06:52.980
And I'm glad that things are going well with you in this,
01:06:56.580
how to have sex better because it is such a good niche for you.