Based Camp - January 23, 2026


"Scientists" Say Babies Need Consent For Diaper Changes


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 2 minutes

Words per Minute

185.90062

Word Count

11,587

Sentence Count

974

Misogynist Sentences

27

Hate Speech Sentences

16


Summary

A leftist university in Australia suggested that you should ask your baby's consent before changing their poo. What does this have to do with consent? And why does it matter if you have sex with your kid when they're 8 years old or 13 years old?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hello, Simone! Today, we are going to be talking about children and consent, and infants and
00:00:07.640 consent. And we are going to be using, it went viral a while ago, this story where a leftist
00:00:13.420 university, specifically it was the Deakin University in Australia, suggested that you
00:00:18.860 ask your baby consent before changing their diapers. Simone is just sharing a story about
00:00:23.520 changing Texas diapers, so, you know, on topic here. But it comes off as ridiculous at face value,
00:00:31.220 but I want to look at it from their eyes, not like the other people covering. I want to see how they
00:00:35.580 argue for it, why they think it's important, right? And then I want to go from there to look at other
00:00:42.040 instances in which parents and parental advocates have been advocating for extreme consent searching
00:00:50.060 from children before like punishment and everything like that. And we saw this like in my Stephen
00:00:53.940 Molyneux debate where, you know, like asking for consent for a timeout? Well, they don't do timeouts
00:00:59.500 because the kid wouldn't consent to it, right? You know, it's only gentle parenting, only nice
00:01:03.140 parenting. And so I want to go into this philosophy in its extremes, but I'm also going to be arguing
00:01:08.840 that a lot of people have misunderstood. And I think where the concept of consent creeped into
00:01:14.780 children's literature and the concept of children needing consent is that for whatever reason,
00:01:21.020 the urban monoculture decided to use a lack of consent to argue why, you know, we do not have
00:01:29.220 sex with minor. And I actually think that that's completely stupid. Like that is not why you don't
00:01:35.920 have sex with a minor consent. And I, I, I mean, I've argued this was animals where I point out that,
00:01:41.080 you know, the reason we don't have sex with animals, isn't that the animal can't consent
00:01:44.820 because we eat animals and we like raise them in a state of constant torture. If you're talking
00:01:50.520 about veal or farm chicken or something like that, and people protest that, but you know, they're,
00:01:56.120 they're, they're the same type of like, Oh, consent, consent, consent. You know, it's why we don't
00:01:59.960 do it. It's a disease risk with animals. Yeah. That's why a lot of cultures convergently evolved
00:02:05.440 that particular belief, but with children, I point out here that, okay, like you've got like a 15
00:02:12.600 year old or something like that, right? Like a 15 year old in terms of their cognition is well
00:02:20.100 more advanced than many elderly individuals, many mentally handicapped individuals. Sure.
00:02:27.440 They're actually fairly sharp. They're almost as smart as pigs.
00:02:31.360 As a kid. I'm kidding. Okay. And I think even if you go back of it, I mean, I think even like 13
00:02:38.880 year olds and 12 year olds are fairly smart, like smarter. I I'd say that the average, like 13 year
00:02:43.820 old I talked to, it's smarter and more cognitively there than the average person I'm talking to in a
00:02:48.820 nursing home. Oh no, like 100%. I mean, people in nursing homes on average are dealing with pretty
00:02:54.300 severe cognitive decline. Plus they're also super set in their ways. Whereas people who are teens are in
00:02:59.360 this incredible position, but I mean, you could even argue that an eight year old is there because
00:03:05.940 also the eight year old is unencumbered by all of the hormonal vicissitudes that a teenager has to
00:03:11.640 endure. So the point being is nobody or very few people are arguing that people in nursing home
00:03:18.560 shouldn't be having sex. That's actually, people have like the most sex. Yeah. People are like power to
00:03:23.440 the people like, yeah, split it up. Like this big thing of like people sleeping around a lot in
00:03:27.980 like, yeah, STDs being a really big issue in nursing homes. Yeah. And nursing homes. But I, I think
00:03:32.780 there's very few people, even a lot of lefties that would argue that like a 13 year old should be
00:03:37.120 sleeping around. And so it's, it's clearly, even for them, they understand intuitively it isn't a
00:03:41.600 consent issue. And this will be a lot of what I'm talking about in this piece. And I've talked about
00:03:47.480 it before, but I think it's very important for people to grok is it's a stage of development
00:03:52.340 issue. It's at that stage of development, are you expected to take, you know, sort of internal
00:04:00.020 responsibility for the way you relate to rules, the way you relate to the world around you? Are you
00:04:04.000 essentially supposed to be living under a guardian or are you not? Like, is that the way your brain
00:04:08.380 is structured? And when you're living under a guardian, obviously the guardian has final say on
00:04:14.400 the things you do and do not do, right? The punishments, et cetera. And, and we'll be arguing that
00:04:19.980 you are cognitively sort of loaded to be living in this environment and to take a younger person
00:04:26.180 out of this environment can actually be very damaging. And not just with a guardian, but I
00:04:31.600 also think, and this is something that we do a lot with our parenting with, with, with fear,
00:04:36.060 with uncertainty, with this was all normal in an ancestral context. And we removed this from
00:04:41.400 people's lives. And I think did a lot of damage. And you can see our video where we point out that
00:04:46.400 you actually see like, you know, when you're looking at some rates of like mental health issues
00:04:49.820 and stuff like that, you see them at higher rates in wealthier young girls than like young girls who
00:04:55.220 live in more urban or, or less wealthy environments. And that is like, it's a suburb girl thing. Right.
00:05:01.540 And I argue that that's because their brain is, is trying to search for threats. And when you remove
00:05:07.580 all of the threats from their lives, they begin to assign everything a threat. Like, well, Donald Trump is
00:05:11.880 trying to put me in the breeding pens, right? Like everybody, every guy who looks at me wrong wants
00:05:17.920 to grate me. You know, I'm, I'm in a constant threat because somebody said that they disagree
00:05:23.020 with my view of gender, right? Like they're, they're trying to wipe out my people, right? Like
00:05:27.680 they invent all of these existential threats because their brain is meant to deal with existential
00:05:33.240 threats. And this is part of why we do Krampus and everything like that with our kids and,
00:05:37.680 and when to go and everything. But let's start with nappy changes are not just a chore to rush
00:05:43.920 through. You can use them to teach consent. And this is from the, that's that school in Australia.
00:05:49.180 Okay. This is 2023 paper. There has been a lot of focus on the need to teach older children about
00:05:55.560 consent. And this link that they have here, I think it's very telling to what I'm talking to about
00:05:59.660 here. It's, it's, it's about teaching teenagers about consent as it relates to sex. And I'm like,
00:06:06.120 that is clearly not like what we're talking about with nappies, but you can see that they're
00:06:10.840 literally drawing that, that thread very directly in this sort of. I can see how your average
00:06:15.220 progressive would get there because nappies are an instance in which people are coming into direct
00:06:20.720 content, contact with your no-no zones. So I, it can kind of see it. Yeah. Like it's just saying
00:06:28.780 like when your no-no zone is exposed and people are touching it, you need to have a conversation
00:06:32.740 about consent. Like they're not, they're not trying to say it's the same thing, but they're
00:06:36.460 trying to say in these contexts, you know, like just be conditioned that this is all,
00:06:42.000 this is consent conversation time because my pants are down, that kind of thing.
00:06:46.300 Yeah. Well, and I think that I've always actually found it very weird at doctor's offices where
00:06:51.540 the doctor always is like, you know, telling my kid, well, you know, it's okay that I'm doing this
00:06:56.480 because your dad is here or, you know, like. Wait, they say that? Yeah. You never do doctors
00:07:01.580 with it. So she doesn't. Yeah. So I wouldn't know. That's what? Are you serious? Yeah. But
00:07:06.020 they're like, this is, this is something that normally you shouldn't let somebody do.
00:07:09.500 Do you think they've been told to do that by their law firm? They don't get sued or something?
00:07:16.400 I mean, I don't know. Like for me and for our family, I like, I just do not think a lot about
00:07:22.040 like nudity one way or the other. Like when our kids get up, we change them, whatever.
00:07:27.260 But obviously this- We're not allowed to because our kids just insist on randomly taking off their
00:07:31.680 clothes and nothing we do, including keeping the temperature of the house at 53 degrees
00:07:36.040 seems to stop them from doing it. They just can't stop. Reporters are here or whatever.
00:07:40.880 And Torsten will just take off his pants and run. And I'm like, why? We get, we get schwifty in here.
00:07:47.580 Getting schwifty. Yeah. All the time. Anyway,
00:07:49.680 but parents should not wait until kids are teenagers to talk about appropriate touching
00:07:54.440 or how everyone has the right to say what happens to their body. In fact, the earlier parents talk
00:07:59.800 about this with their kids, the better. And what's very interesting here is you can see how
00:08:03.440 so naturally the idea of gender transitioning children comes from this. If your parents need
00:08:09.660 to ask consent to even touch you as an infant, if your parents need to ask consent to touch you as
00:08:15.380 a preteen. Well, and look at the words here, right? Parents should not wait until kids are
00:08:22.680 teenagers to talk about appropriate touching or how everyone has a right to say what happens to
00:08:27.280 their own body, right? Like it's clearly implying whatever your age, you have a right to say what
00:08:31.980 happens to your body. So you can see like a direct precursor, right? To this philosophy becoming
00:08:37.160 normalized, which is one of the reasons I'm talking about this. This way consent becomes a normal
00:08:42.420 everyday part of life. Importantly, it also helps to keep kids safe from abuse as they learn what is
00:08:48.660 okay and isn't okay when it comes to their bodies. You can start teaching little ones about consent
00:08:55.080 even before they can talk. Here's how you can do this during everyday care. And I love this,
00:09:02.440 this, their bodies, their bodies. It's like a word I would never use about my children because like,
00:09:08.760 I guess it's a little creepy. It's creepy, right? Like it's an inherently sexualizing term.
00:09:15.180 Try not to rush. Nappy changes can easily be seen by parents as a task to rush through
00:09:20.780 and just quote, get done. It seems like something that has been written by people who do not change
00:09:26.420 diapers. Right? Have you changed a diaper, sir? Oh my God. So, but this can be a time to help
00:09:36.060 children learn about consent and how their bodies work. And here's linking to other articles that
00:09:42.180 we'll go into. Toileting is something young children will take charge of in the future.
00:09:47.920 What happens before learning how to use the toilet should not be a mystery. Be clear about what's going
00:09:54.440 on. At the start of a nappy change, ensure your child knows what is happening. Get down on their
00:10:00.080 level and say, you need a nappy change and then pause so they can take this in.
00:10:06.580 Have you ever done that, Simone? They just need a moment to grieve, don't they?
00:10:12.600 This is so antithetical because I change our kids' diapers all the time. And I'm just like,
00:10:16.880 you pick it up, you sniff, then throw them on the table, throw them on the table,
00:10:22.340 just change it, let them run off again. Right? Like the idea that you would like get down.
00:10:27.200 It's like, it's very similar. If you've seen videos of sheep shearing, I feel it's kind of
00:10:32.220 like that. Like you grab it and you become like fast as you can go. Yeah. And they're acting like
00:10:38.320 a, like a salon or something like that for sheep. Yeah. Yeah. And we're like, ah, and the sheep's
00:10:44.140 like, you know, like whatever, you know, you got to kind of restrain them a little. I don't know,
00:10:48.440 like maybe not everyone has to restrain their kids during diaper changes, but our kids are like,
00:10:52.240 oh, it's wrestling time. Let's go. And that's not great when there's, when there are little turds
00:10:58.260 flying, not my favorite, but around like 18 months, that's when our kids decide, oh, I control you while
00:11:06.380 doing this. Oh my God. So it gets worse. It gets worse. So that thing I just said, where they said
00:11:13.540 to like, get down on their level and say, you need a nappy change. So I'm on my haunches. I'm looking my
00:11:18.300 kid in the eye and I'm asking them to let it settle in. Yeah. So this is happening before you have
00:11:24.180 taken them to the table. Yeah. What you're supposed to do. Okay. Is you say, do you want to walk slash
00:11:32.960 crawl with me to the change table? Crawl with me? To carry you. Girl, do you have to buy knee pads for
00:11:40.260 this? What are we doing? Crawl with them to the changing table. I'm not. Oh, no. So you know the age
00:11:49.600 where every time I bend down, I'm like, okay, what else can I do on down here? Like, let's batch it.
00:11:56.400 You know, if I've done this, we got to make the most of it. We're going to be down here for a while
00:12:01.760 now. This is, I'm not. No, no, we're not doing. Oh my God. Can we look, can we figure out if this
00:12:10.780 person is a parent? They must be a parent to one. Maybe I assume somebody on the team is
00:12:17.060 like the kind of person who takes like a year of maternity leave because they're like, yeah, I
00:12:22.520 really, this honestly sounds to me like somebody who just had a kid and is fantasizing about what
00:12:29.220 it's going to be like to raise them instead of having actually raised a kid. Yeah. Yeah. I
00:12:33.420 think we all have, especially like, no, probably all of us have that friend on social media who
00:12:38.240 hasn't yet had kids, but he's like, and this is how I'm going to be a mother and it's going to be
00:12:42.600 so much better. But the, the point here being is that if the child it's implied here does not
00:12:50.320 walk with you or crawl to the table, they don't want their nappy change. They just get to live with
00:12:55.000 diaper rush. They get to have anal fissures and open lesions. They're into crinkling, Simone.
00:13:01.460 Lots of furries are into this. We need to be aware of their furry identity. No, I think, I don't,
00:13:06.440 here's the thing is like, I think for like, sorry, adult baby diaper lovers, ABDLs love, love to do it.
00:13:16.080 Like they get off on the rush, maybe making other people smell their, the product of their
00:13:21.580 certification. However, anyone who's actually dealt with poop and diapers, like either because
00:13:29.880 like, I don't know, they're bedridden and they're wearing a diaper and there's poop or like they've
00:13:34.580 had a kid who has gone to a crappy daycare where they don't change their kid's diaper. And their kid
00:13:39.460 ends up with like open wounds in their butt because of their terrible daycare. Thank God, we don't send
00:13:45.060 our kids to daycare anymore. You know, like long-term exposure to, to poop is really bad for this kid.
00:13:53.360 It's really bad. Like, no, I don't think ABDLs are, are crinkling for very long. If anything, it's,
00:14:00.380 it's urine. It's not the other thing. I don't know about that. I mean, I've read, I've, I've watched
00:14:05.920 the Rainforest documentaries on YouTube. Okay, Simone. The, the point I made. Didn't they leave some of
00:14:11.200 their nappies in the elevators though? Like the, the, the diaper has been removed. Hot tubs and
00:14:16.000 stuff. Yeah. So the diaper has been removed. Like they're not walking around with it. Like also our
00:14:21.600 kids sometimes without like informing us before we even smell it, like we'll just go ahead and just
00:14:26.820 take off the diaper. And that's always the scariest when you can smell it. And then your kid walks up to
00:14:32.160 you, your pre-potty trained kid without pants and without their diaper. And you're like, Oh God.
00:14:41.200 That is, that is horrifying. But the point I'm making here is they're basically saying that the
00:14:47.240 kid can consent to do something. And the reason I highlight this is because I think it, it really
00:14:51.420 mirrors youth gender transition where they're doing something that is actively and obviously harmful
00:14:56.080 to them. And the adult for like a weird sexualized reasons is okay with them doing it right. Like
00:15:02.060 yeah, the adult doesn't know better that the kid needs to change their diapers. Right.
00:15:06.920 Or it's, I mean, this could be, if we're going to be super charitable, part of the other better
00:15:12.000 parenting trend, which is the F around and find out parenting trend, which we 100% ascribe
00:15:16.980 to, which is all right. You want to see how that goes? Let's see how it goes. Except the
00:15:21.920 problem is typically when we're talking about P pre potty trained children, they're not really
00:15:26.680 old enough to understand that cause and effect. So I think it's an unfair and unduly cruel F around
00:15:32.240 and find out parenting hack, if that's what this is. To continue, observe their facial
00:15:38.480 expressions and body language to check if they don't understand what is happening. Aim to be
00:15:44.180 positive, gentle, and responsive to your child. The one thing that your kid has done since the
00:15:49.760 moment they got out of the womb is having people change their diapers. Like next. Well, no, I love
00:15:57.320 this, this, this, like, you got to be positive and gentle all the time. It reminds me of the
00:16:00.900 Harmony hut from like the Adams family. Nemo, all they need are good friends, good fun and
00:16:05.880 a little time in the Harmony hut. Why not? I just wanted to read. Not on my time, four eyes.
00:16:19.260 Oh, what's going on? What is happening to me? No, they know that this has happened at a minimum of
00:16:24.980 every three hours for as long as they can remember. Like, this is not a new and traumatic
00:16:30.380 event. I can't. I think you can make it a traumatic event by like doing all this stuff that this is
00:16:37.740 talking about. Would you, would you like consent for me to change your diaper? Are you okay?
00:16:43.960 Oh my God. You know what, what scares me now is because I'm seeing your face doing that and you're
00:16:48.640 like a beautiful woman. And I'm imagining the people who actually do it look like complete,
00:16:52.440 like gremlins. And now I'm like, Oh God, like that's, that's even more horrifying.
00:16:58.420 I have to send you a YouTube short where someone does a bit on like, you just had a baby and your
00:17:04.160 husband says he has gas and it you'll get it. Or maybe you won't. If you haven't seen me like do
00:17:10.180 all the anti-gas and anti-constipation exercises on our kids. But yeah, no, when, when you actually
00:17:16.060 like think about what babies are experiencing from their point of view, from adults during all of the
00:17:21.800 like baby treatment experiences, I don't know. It's not my thing. It's not my fetish. Okay.
00:17:30.460 I'm glad. I'm glad. Children are often encouraged to be distracted in nappy changes to focus their
00:17:39.400 attention on something else. For example, a well-meaning parent signs a song, sings a song to
00:17:44.720 them or gives them a rattle to hold, but it's important children notice when someone is touching
00:17:49.700 their most intimate parts. It says, don't distract your child. Why is it important that the child
00:17:55.480 noticed when somebody is touching them? Like that again, seems weird. Like why, why do I want my
00:18:01.760 kid? It's like, I really want you to focus on what I'm doing to you right now. Like be completely here
00:18:08.220 in this zone as I change you. Right. And, you know, I wonder how these weird fetishes develop.
00:18:13.340 But now I'm like, maybe this is it. Like parents who ritualize diaper changes.
00:18:19.400 Yeah. Seriously. Even in early infancy, children can respond to consistent verbal cues. So try to
00:18:27.360 use similar language and follow a regular nappy exchange. Oh, so now we're ritualizing it. Now,
00:18:32.860 now it's like a BDSM practice. Yes. It involves children in the conversation. For example,
00:18:38.320 can you please lift up your bottom so I can slide your nappy out? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:18:44.880 no. This is sounding like someone with a baby fetish. It does. Right. Oh no. Is that what this
00:18:51.140 is? No. Don't make me listen to this. Oh God. This is university research approved by one of the
00:18:58.280 people. That doesn't mean it's not that. Come on. Come on. No, no, no, no. Oh, okay. Just let's
00:19:03.900 get through it. Let's white knuckle it. No, no. And then they say these habits plant the seed of the
00:19:08.420 idea that a child has a right to say what happens to their body. And, and it's taking us to a blog
00:19:13.760 family, how good diaper changes tells babies about the world. But anyway, before I, I go to that and then
00:19:21.100 of course, what's the next most important thing while you're giving the baby the creepy diaper
00:19:25.420 change? It's be kind to yourself. Of course, some nappy changes that need to be more rushed are in
00:19:33.780 the odd place. Perhaps you are late for work or you need to pull over to the side of the road,
00:19:37.980 road to do so in an urgent position. The habits we outline above may seem to add more work to the
00:19:43.860 already demanding parental load. So try to do them as often as possible and be kind to yourself.
00:19:49.460 If every nappy change isn't perfect for moments of connection, you're a supporting a small child.
00:19:56.340 After all use the proper terms while you're doing the nappy change, use the correct anatomical terms.
00:20:03.300 Oh no, vulva, penis, and anus. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We have euphemisms for
00:20:10.580 that. Like I don't pretend to be the best potty trainer or talk about private parts person with our
00:20:18.080 kids. And I will say that I've recently learned things from other people. Like from our neighbors,
00:20:23.340 we learned about the words Dodie and Fwippy. And I think that's great.
00:20:29.600 Because Fwippy is for boys and Dodie is for girls.
00:20:31.460 Yeah. And you know what? That is what we call it.
00:20:33.640 That's great. It's completely non-sexualized. And I think it works better for, you know,
00:20:39.680 the morphological traits that children have as opposed to like adults.
00:20:43.660 Maybe that's a great word for it. Why on earth would you call it anything else?
00:20:47.620 Why would you call it a vulva? Like the-
00:20:49.980 Yeah, Dodie sounds way better. I, yeah. There's honestly like no word for,
00:20:54.780 there's no word for the thing betwixt the ladies and others that I think is fun.
00:21:01.720 But the reason, the reason why I think it's important to do this, to, to have these other
00:21:06.620 words is as adults, sexual organs are inherently sexualized was in our mental context. And they're
00:21:13.740 going to be, yeah. And they're going to be for children as they learn these adult words,
00:21:17.660 right? Because that's the context they're going to learn them in, right? Like that's the context
00:21:21.740 they are spoken of in society. That's the context that they are 99.99999% of the time when somebody
00:21:28.740 is talking about one of them, because people are very sexual beings as adults is going to be in
00:21:32.840 a sexualized context. And so to de-sexualize them in the way that you're interacting with them,
00:21:37.800 because they are not sexual organs for children.
00:21:40.600 They're body parts. Yeah. I mean, well, especially because like you pee out of,
00:21:46.240 I mean for men, you pee out of one, like it doesn't have, like it, you spend the, men's vast
00:21:51.860 majority of interactions or uses of their whippies is for urination, for eliminating liquid
00:21:58.640 waste. You know, like it's not, it's so, so, you know, if, if, if 99% of your usage of a body part
00:22:06.560 is, is about elimination, why is your first thing to do to sexualize it? That is so weird.
00:22:13.500 Right. But it makes sense in their world framework. Remember in their world framework,
00:22:17.200 like everything is sexualized to an extent, because that's one of the core things of identity,
00:22:21.340 like what you are turned on by most. Yeah. For example, you know, if it's same sex interactions,
00:22:27.760 if it's, you know, furries, if it's something else, that's like a huge core part of your identity,
00:22:32.620 right? Which we would argue it's a fairly trivial part of your identity. And, and, and I think that
00:22:36.860 that is why they sexualize things so early. And so it goes on to say in regards to that,
00:22:41.000 like it knows the way we're going to react. It says, parents may feel uncomfortable doing this
00:22:45.000 and think more childish names should be used, but this keeps children safe. That means they can inform
00:22:50.220 trusted adults about their experiences with all the people who care for them. That is,
00:22:55.480 if the kids have a word for it, childish or not, they can express it to you, right? They do not need
00:23:02.840 the sexualized term for it. Like it is weird that you are saying that. And that makes you one of the
00:23:08.240 adults. Like if a kid came to me and he immediately knew one of these words, that could be a big red flag
00:23:14.500 to me that somebody was having inappropriate conversations with them. Yeah, we would be worried,
00:23:19.080 wouldn't we? And so it actually gives you additional warning when something bad is happening.
00:23:23.640 And no, we're, we are not like early colonial Quakers where when women would go see doctors,
00:23:32.360 anything that was between like their head and their knees was like my stomach. They, you know,
00:23:37.780 they would never talk about those things. I think that's a problem too. Like you have to be able to
00:23:41.560 talk about body parts and we use euphemisms for them, but like, you know, so we're not saying don't
00:23:47.720 talk about, we're not saying don't pretend it's there. We're not. And it's, we mentioned earlier,
00:23:51.740 like our whole house is like, I mean, we live in a really old house too. So like private bathrooms
00:23:57.220 are exactly a thing. They're just fricking toilets everywhere. Um, so like no one, no one believes in
00:24:02.600 privacy or boundaries or anything. And like, there's no, no concept of like, oh, except no, it's not.
00:24:09.420 No, no one, no one's nervous about nudity though. They are concerned about dressing properly around
00:24:13.700 people. Cause at first I was like, oh, like though Torsten always takes off his clothes and all of our
00:24:19.100 kids do at a bird, when we had a birthday party after he went to the bathroom, but his costume
00:24:24.540 wasn't on properly. He was like really self-conscious about that. So I know he knows the difference.
00:24:28.880 Like he wants to be properly dressed. He just doesn't care if people see. So yeah, I don't know.
00:24:33.360 Like, I think this is another, another instance in which the left is way too, or like the urban
00:24:40.500 monoculture, I should say is way too in its head. Like it overthinks.
00:24:44.040 It's not in its head. I mean, I think they're hurting kids. So another thing that they talk about in
00:24:47.120 this article and I won't go into it a lot is in that you shouldn't kiss or hug your kids
00:24:51.780 without consent. And I also think that this is really messed up. If you've actually had a toddler
00:24:56.760 kids, and you've had a lot of them, because not all toddlers are like this. Some of our kids,
00:25:01.100 they don't care about being kissed, but other of our kids, they like to put up a whole fight about
00:25:04.660 being kissed or hugged and they want to be kissed or hugged. It's just a game for them, right? Like
00:25:09.920 people are like this. They, they have fun being playfully bratty in a non-sexual
00:25:16.840 context, right? Like, and yeah, like we have one kid who will literally, even though they want
00:25:23.480 something, I'll be like, do you want a cookie? No. Yes. But everything has to start with no.
00:25:32.380 No. No. Yes.
00:25:35.440 One of my favorites with Swippy that came up with our kids was one of my kids, we moved him to the,
00:25:40.340 the older kid's seat, you know, like the, the booster seat. And I was like, okay, you're,
00:25:44.380 you're in the booster seat now. And he goes, oh, it's because my Swippy's bigger.
00:25:49.460 Are you serious? Oh God. I mean, that's, that is the size of the thing that we, that matters.
00:25:56.640 We got some measurement. Got to get out the, I was going to say calipers, but what would you even
00:26:01.480 use to measure a Swippy? Yeah. So we can go over more of this. We've, we've got one here. This is
00:26:10.040 early childhood at Australia, nappy changes and toilet learning to go into like, just a, a, a
00:26:18.880 medium part of this recontextual, recontextualizing nappy changes and toilet key times as learning
00:26:26.560 requires educators to facilitate opportunities for children to be actively involved. This supports
00:26:32.080 children to learn how to lead their toilet experiences independently in the future.
00:26:37.580 Your toilet experience. It's very weird. Wow. I mean, I think it's a toilet experience when you
00:26:45.240 have one of those really nice Japanese toto toilets and you get to push the buttons and stuff. That is
00:26:50.100 toilet experience. I'll support that. This is, this is very strange language to me here. It's important
00:26:57.920 for toileting to be an autonomous activity led by the child and not a process that families or educators
00:27:05.620 accelerate through training. Bleza et al. 2019. Why? Yeah, that's sus. Because first off,
00:27:14.480 if you are enjoying the process of changing your kids' diapers to the extent where you are not
00:27:19.500 dying to get them potty trained, I'm questioning you. But like our kids were not even close to getting
00:27:26.940 potty trained until we started bribery. And every, like it was both their, their, their,
00:27:32.260 they were in daycare at the time. So their daycare teachers and their ABA therapists,
00:27:36.440 because these were our older already diagnosed with, diagnosed with autism kids. We're like,
00:27:41.640 yeah, bribery, marshmallows, works. Bribery. Yeah. That's what you do.
00:27:45.240 Bribery. Yep. Or grease payments, if you will.
00:27:49.500 Well, I mean, you're using your power of systemic privilege over the child and power over them
00:27:55.260 to, because they don't have access to resources. This is what's like financial abuse, but
00:27:59.460 nutritional abuse. Systemic privilege of marshmallow. Right? Saying I'll only, I'll only give you access
00:28:03.840 to your allowance if you do X and Y. I'll only give you access to the marshmallow.
00:28:08.140 To the defecation box. Right?
00:28:10.720 We've recently been having a lot of conversations about what we do to things that defecate in the
00:28:15.340 wrong place in our house. Because I've, we live in a very old house and has a lot of holes
00:28:20.100 into the outside and there's a lot of food in our house and also a lot of kids that produce
00:28:23.620 crumbs. So what do we have? Mice, of course. So I've been killing the mice, a lot of mice
00:28:27.780 and the kids like to see the mice. And then we talk about why, because the mice are so cute
00:28:32.360 and fluffy and soft as Octavian likes to point out. He cried yesterday when he saw, he was like,
00:28:36.580 I want to see it. Then he started crying. And I'm like, you asked to see it. He's like,
00:28:40.840 why did it have to die? And I'm like, because it poops, it eats our food and it poops on the table
00:28:46.100 and it poops in our food and it ruins things. He's like, I'll teach it to not poop. I'll teach it to poop
00:28:51.220 in the potty. And he understood because I'm like, well, what happened? This one poops in the wrong
00:28:56.360 place in my house. And he's like, you kill them. And I'm like, that's right, Octavian.
00:29:02.420 That is how you raise kids.
00:29:04.340 This is how you have potty conversations.
00:29:07.360 Did you say what's going to happen if you poop in the wrong place?
00:29:10.520 That's the implied insinuation. And all of our kids understand it. Torsten gets it.
00:29:14.980 I can't remember. One of our kids, only one of our kids though. No, it was Torsten. We just decided
00:29:20.820 to poop on the floor. I think it was Torsten. One of our kids did it intentionally and like
00:29:25.360 proudly walked into the room and it was like, Oh my God. Here's another line from this one.
00:29:30.080 Okay. Through attuned routine experiences, children feel safe and are encouraged to
00:29:37.240 stay present in the moment. They learn that educators listen carefully to what they say
00:29:45.280 and pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues.
00:29:48.240 Ew. So it's not even about like that euphoric moment where like you really had to go to the
00:29:52.700 bathroom and you're finally relieving yourself. It's the euphoria in pleasing your superiors.
00:30:01.000 So this was written by Dr. Kathleen Bussey, an infant and toddler specialist academic from New Zealand.
00:30:10.000 What is it with, why, why in Oceania are there all these, these potty perverts?
00:30:18.000 There's a lot of weird stuff in Australia and New Zealand, if I'm going to be honest,
00:30:21.120 in regards to like just about everything that I've seen.
00:30:23.460 Oh, but work with me here. Right. So like around Utah, there's a lot of interest in like polygamy and
00:30:34.880 like in the Appalachian region, there's like more interest in vore, right? Like the ultimate sport,
00:30:39.480 hunting humans. What if like the unique evolved fetish in Oceania is, is pedal potty stuff?
00:30:49.180 I don't know. Well, they, they, the other thing I've seen uniquely there is furry stuff.
00:30:55.340 There's a lot of correlation. I'm just saying, cause it's a little weird. Isn't it a little
00:31:02.780 convenient that all these. It is a little weird that it's a lot of. But also like we've seen in
00:31:08.000 all these other instances, just like these clusters of sexual proclivities. I'm just,
00:31:12.620 I'm just saying arousal pathways, not even sexual, just like talking about diapers. I love
00:31:21.060 the ritual of talking about the consent of bathrooms. I wonder if you've got another one
00:31:28.380 here in academia, wearing diapers and having someone else change their diapers for science.
00:31:34.360 So this, this blog called scary mommy, she has last year I was on Facebook and I saw one of my
00:31:39.660 friends talking about an article he had read on teaching babies consent by asking them permission
00:31:44.180 before changing their diaper. And then she goes on my friend, like many others, including myself at
00:31:48.820 first thought this concept was pretty out there to say the least. So yeah, right. Like she understands
00:31:54.460 it's crazy. Then she goes down the rabbit hole. So to skip ahead a bit, she explained that even
00:32:00.220 though babies cannot verbally give consent, she believed it was important to establish a
00:32:04.460 quote unquote culture of consent within the family from birth. Obviously the word consent
00:32:10.140 is used to imply that there is anything. Obviously the word consent is not used to imply that there's
00:32:15.420 anything sexual happening about diaper changes, but the expert points out the importance of using
00:32:20.360 consent language and making eye contact to teach our kids, even from a young page that we are present,
00:32:27.280 that we acknowledge them, that they are included. Are you supposed to make eye contact while changing
00:32:34.040 diapers per their view? That's extra creepy. What? No. Imagine, imagine if someone were changing your
00:32:44.260 diaper and they made eye contact while they did it. But why, why any of these things? Why does the child
00:32:52.180 need to feel your present? Like, actually I'd say a lot of times when I understand. Well, I don't know.
00:32:55.300 So dogs, when they're taking a dump outside, well, if you're right by them, you know, that they're
00:33:01.620 looking at you. They're, they're, you know, they're vulnerable. They want to know you got their back.
00:33:06.580 Right. I don't think that that's what she means. I think she means it in like a hippie way,
00:33:11.040 like being present in yourself and that you acknowledge them. Do you, do you need to acknowledge your kid
00:33:16.820 taking a dump? I don't want to. There's nothing that will make me feel more acknowledged than someone
00:33:21.340 wiping my butt. And I mean, I can say this having been, you know, like every 18 months I get
00:33:29.960 hospitalized and someone puts a catheter in me and then they have to take it out. Like people like
00:33:34.720 I've had, I've had diaper changing equivalent experiences, right? Like, and I'm glad they don't
00:33:39.920 make eye contact. And I'm glad that I'm not in the moment when that happens. They're not like, okay,
00:33:45.240 now I need you to, we need to have this be a joint experience here. Yeah, man. Like I always try to
00:33:50.780 get them to take the catheter out before all the woozy drugs fully wear off. Cause I don't really
00:33:54.800 want to be all there when that happens. Like I just can't. Okay. Hold on. I guess it gets wilder
00:34:00.500 here. In short, the point of having a dialogue with our babies during diaper changes and making
00:34:06.120 eye contact with them is to show them respect and to teach them that they deserve it.
00:34:11.740 No, no, no, no, no, no. For me, this is like, oh, you got to smile, smile. But then like,
00:34:20.280 what, what is it? Gorillas when they like bear their teeth, it's a sign of like aggression.
00:34:24.020 Like that. I feel like making eye contact with someone in that kind of intimate moment,
00:34:28.160 especially, you know, if you are doing this with a squirming child and holding them down,
00:34:32.520 like that is. Okay. Hold on. It gets weird because this one compares it to being old and says,
00:34:39.080 this is the way she'd want to be treated as an old person. Oh, no. Confirmed. ABDL confirmed.
00:34:44.820 ABDL confirmed. She's in it. She's in it. She'd be a crinkler if she's not already. And you know
00:34:49.500 what? There are a lot of very successful furries. Like I, I've, I've been following a lot of furry
00:34:54.500 subreddits recently. Cause like, you know, we want to like advertise to them. Well, I mean,
00:34:58.560 furries are like fine. Like furries. No, the other point, the exact point I'm making is like,
00:35:03.460 there's some of the more popular furry clips that I saw recently, like on, on furry subreddits is people
00:35:08.620 interviewing furries at a furry convention. And they're like, well, what do you do for work?
00:35:13.060 And it's like, oh, I'm an anesthesiologist. I'm a professor. I am like all these things,
00:35:17.700 all these very, like you are an educated, competent person whose financial affairs are in order.
00:35:23.120 Cause they kind of have to be for getting a $16,000 fursuit. Like these are cool based people
00:35:29.140 who understand themselves. I think maybe her problem is she doesn't know she's an ABDL.
00:35:34.520 And I'm not saying all furries are ABDLs. I'll read it and you can tell me your thoughts. Okay.
00:35:40.380 So envision being extremely old, so old that you have become very sick and you have lost your ability
00:35:46.420 to care for yourself or even talk. You completely rely on someone to be your caregiver.
00:35:51.960 No, you're relying on, on a grok robot.
00:35:55.680 To change your adult diaper. Now, hold on, hold on. I'm not done. Imagine how it would feel to go
00:36:00.720 through all those processes with no dialogue and no information about what was about to happen.
00:36:06.300 None or very little eye contact, but instead of being moved and, or held down like a doll,
00:36:12.180 for me, that personally sounds like a horror movie. I would want to have an idea of what was coming
00:36:17.400 next. So what I love about this is. Tell on yourself without telling on yourself, lady.
00:36:22.340 Yeah. Just so you know, it sounds like a horror movie to me that I'm like locked in and can't move.
00:36:27.080 And I've got this assistant who like stares at me in the eyes while they're changing my diapers.
00:36:34.220 I'm going to change your diapers now. I'm very present in the moment.
00:36:39.560 And you're very acknowledged. I'm going to begin now. Let's talk about your penis.
00:36:46.780 Oh my God.
00:36:48.700 I'd be like, Oh my God.
00:36:51.720 Yes. Worst nightmare. Worst nightmare.
00:36:54.360 No, I'm like, Oh, that happens to people though. There's real people stuck in situations like
00:37:00.360 that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank goodness that most of them are like, you know, it's an immigrant who
00:37:05.700 barely speaks English who would never do that to you because they, they understand one, that that
00:37:09.920 would be a miserable experience for everyone involved. They're, they're disassociating in a
00:37:14.420 very proactive and productive way as they're doing it. And so are you. All right. That, that is how it's
00:37:18.460 done. That's how we always do it. That's how we have done it. And that's how we will continue to do it.
00:37:22.580 Yeah. So maybe there's also just a base Chinese model, which is interesting where, and I remember
00:37:27.940 seeing this when I traveled to China, just kids are walking around with nothing. They're just
00:37:32.420 free balling it. Even though it's a little chilly.
00:37:34.280 It's coming to the Bahamas too.
00:37:35.640 Yeah.
00:37:36.000 Where I live down there. It's coming in a lot of places.
00:37:38.000 It just solves the problem. There is no conversation because the kid just, I don't know,
00:37:42.520 like they go somewhere. They got, they like, they potty train really early as a result, but like.
00:37:46.500 I know. I, what I've noticed is a lot of them just go outside. Cause a lot of this is in places
00:37:51.820 where you can.
00:37:52.380 Yeah. Where you'd be just going to wander outside and yeah. Do your thing. Yeah. It works. I mean,
00:37:57.120 so, I mean, if this is really your issue, talk about autonomy, right? Talk about self-empowerment.
00:38:02.720 So here's an article from adult, adult out of the conversation. It's the free bleeding of,
00:38:08.020 of toddler diaper changes.
00:38:09.880 Here's an article from motherly. It's never too early to teach kids about consent. These books
00:38:14.860 can help. And it goes over a bunch of books. And in one part it says, what is body autonomy?
00:38:20.100 Let's talk about boundaries, consent and respect in its simplest form. Consent is giving permission
00:38:25.280 for something to happen. At little feminists, we love the term. My body is mine. We aim to give
00:38:32.100 parents and caregivers the tools to create positive habits around bodily autonomy, not assuming consent
00:38:38.620 from children and teaching that kids have a right to decide what happens to their bodies.
00:38:44.300 Oh, I love this. They talk about raising empathetic body, positive kids. We want our kids to understand
00:38:51.180 that their body is their own and the importance of respecting each other's bodies and boundaries.
00:38:58.300 It literally sounds like Camp Chippewa from the, the, the, um,
00:39:02.900 It does. Oh, you're right.
00:39:04.620 It sounds like Camp Chippewa. It sounds horrifying to me. I have always identified so much with the
00:39:10.540 Addams Family and never more been in this moment in terms of like child rearing. We totally have to
00:39:16.140 do an episode on the Addams Family episode on school. And like, it's just got so many great lines.
00:39:21.580 It's from the original Addams Family.
00:39:23.100 That's so delightful. Did you watch it after I shared some clips with you?
00:39:26.780 No, I haven't.
00:39:27.020 Cool. That's for kids.
00:39:32.700 I'm sure the children are going to be very happy here.
00:39:36.140 If we wanted them to be happy, we'd have let them stay home.
00:39:41.180 Oh dear. I'm going to miss the pattern of their little feet sneaking up behind me.
00:39:47.580 That settles it. No more school.
00:39:49.660 Good thinking, sir.
00:39:52.380 That's all right for our children. But what about all the others?
00:39:55.900 I suppose you're right. We should do something just as ordinary citizens.
00:39:59.980 I haven't seen the whole thing yet. So it's, it's so fun.
00:40:03.020 And I saw the one that you sent me where they were like, well, you know,
00:40:08.620 your kids were going through all this at school and like, it may not be right for, for your kids,
00:40:13.500 but like, what about all the other kids? And then he's like, what about all the other kids?
00:40:17.020 He decides he needs to rescue all the kids from school.
00:40:20.860 Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:25.660 Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Here's a weird one. It's an article.
00:40:29.660 Why I don't make my kids apologize by motherly.
00:40:32.860 What?
00:40:35.020 I mean, I kind of get it because actions speak louder than words.
00:40:38.460 Well, hold on. No, no, no, no, no. It's worse than that. So it starts.
00:40:42.300 Do my children have to share? No.
00:40:44.540 No. Do my children have to apologize? Nope.
00:40:48.300 Do I suggest that they say the quote unquote magic word again? No.
00:40:54.460 Just if you want it, take it. If they can give it to you, punch them. This woman.
00:41:00.300 This is, she's raising like actual monsters. And what I love is there were other parents and I was
00:41:09.100 going to go into this in more detail where there was some moms that tried to raise their kids this
00:41:13.900 way and they realized it was a horrible thing. So here's a post for one of them. I validated every
00:41:20.460 emotion, processed every feeling extensively, explained every boundary, compromised on things,
00:41:26.060 avoided harsh punishments. I thought I was doing it right. Then my kids got older and I started seeing
00:41:31.100 the results in real time. One kid became anxious about everything, even choosing a snack, insecure
00:41:38.060 in their abilities, entitled, everything's up for debate, emotionally dysregulated, outbursts constantly.
00:41:45.900 The other kid became too easy, people-pleasing, suppressed real feelings, absorbed everyone's
00:41:53.180 emotions, withdrawn. I thought I was just quote unquote being a teenager. It wasn't, or I thought
00:41:59.660 it was just, I cried a lot. I had tried so hard to do everything right, to do things different from
00:42:06.300 what I had growing up. Here's what I realized. This is like how they, they, they screwed up their kids.
00:42:11.660 Right. Right. But she's talking, you can see also, I mean, not to bring in the whole nature versus
00:42:16.540 nurture thing, but like, she's clearly a person who has anxiety or like depression issues, emotional
00:42:22.380 regulation problems. Yeah. Was it any surprise that, I mean, probably regardless of any approach
00:42:28.380 she would have taken, her kids would have been emotionally dysregulated because it's fairly clear
00:42:33.100 from even this short excerpt that she herself is emotionally dysregulated.
00:42:37.340 She, she said she shifted to authoritative parenting with high structure.
00:42:42.540 It's probably not going to change anything because her kids are genetically wired that way. I don't
00:42:45.980 know how to say. Hold on, hold on. So she shifted to authoritative parenting. Okay.
00:42:49.660 Clear boundaries, consistent limits and natural consequences, which is what we do. Right. Yeah.
00:42:54.380 And she said the shift happened faster than she expected. She saw less anxiety over decisions,
00:43:01.180 more confidence to try new things, less negotiating and entitlement and better regulation.
00:43:06.380 Well, that's great. Now she just needs to do that for herself, but that would involve
00:43:11.340 leaving whatever progressive academic circle she works in.
00:43:14.940 Well, no, this, this woman is just like a mom. And she, she now says that she can spot within five
00:43:20.300 minutes when kids were raised by gentle parents. She says, these kids are anxious about everything,
00:43:25.420 making simple choices, saying how they really feel, handling any disappointment,
00:43:29.980 setting their own boundaries. And that's because parents emotionally charge
00:43:35.820 individual, like mistakes, the kids make and everything like that. Like everything is overly
00:43:40.700 emotional when you remove all of the, you know, just slap him, knock it off. You little, you know,
00:43:47.100 I'm going to go do my own thing. That's what I was called growing up a little shit. I don't even know
00:43:50.140 if you're allowed to do that anymore. That is by the way, an Appalachian name, even in the, the,
00:43:54.140 from the greater Appalachian tradition of what they called kids historically integrated. Yeah.
00:43:59.340 I think, I think it was innovated in the American colonies by the, the Appalachian,
00:44:05.180 the greater Appalachian diaspora. Yeah. And I, I'm afraid to call my kids
00:44:08.700 little shits cause I'm afraid of like a news team hearing it, but it is. Well, and we're just,
00:44:12.460 we're trying not to use bad words around them just in general, but it, it's, it's a bummer. Cause it's,
00:44:20.140 it's, you know, it's part of your, the point being is what's going through my head emotionally,
00:44:23.740 just like knock it off, you little shit, you know, like, and, and with them, they're,
00:44:28.060 they're validating the emotions. They're validating even the bad behavior by getting,
00:44:32.220 you know, all up about it. Right. And it leads to the kids over emotionalizing everything.
00:44:38.300 And our kids just like, do not do that at all. Like we have autistic kids, but we do not have
00:44:43.420 anxious kids. And I think our kids would be hyper prone to this sort of behavior if it was validated.
00:44:48.620 Josh. Yeah. It didn't occur to me just how lucky we are that our kids aren't anxious.
00:44:55.980 They really don't seem to dread anything. No, they love playing. They love pushing
00:45:00.780 each other around. They love doing dangerous things. Too much, too much. I did it to the kid.
00:45:08.220 I jumped off the, the, the third story. I know like in the end, as much as like,
00:45:12.780 I complained about our kids risky behavior, you were 10 times worse. So it's fine.
00:45:20.140 I mean, I, I do get worried about them sometimes accidentally doing some of the things that I did.
00:45:24.140 Like, okay, here's an example. You, you should, you should warn your kids against this. The,
00:45:28.060 the mattress on the stairwell goes way faster than you would think it goes.
00:45:33.100 Did you ever try a mattress on a stairwell?
00:45:35.020 No, I did a sleeping bag and you know, that allows your butt to fall on each step.
00:45:39.820 It hurts a lot, but you know, you do go down fairly fast and it's fun.
00:45:43.260 The mattress.
00:45:44.380 Woof.
00:45:46.380 When did you do that?
00:45:47.980 See, we got to warn our kids about that. Cause that's, that one's coming up.
00:45:53.420 But she says when she talks about what digital parents actually do is they say they turn
00:45:56.940 validation into over-processing, share adult problems their kids can't handle, avoid conflict
00:46:01.980 instead of teaching resilience, make children responsible for family emotions. The result,
00:46:06.300 anxious people, pleasing kids who monitor your feelings instead of expressing their own.
00:46:11.180 Well, to be fair, I didn't expect it to go in that direction.
00:46:14.780 That they are like obsessed with what you think.
00:46:18.300 No, because that's what you're doing. You're heightening your own, you're, you're telling the
00:46:22.140 kids that they should be monitoring your emotional state. You're being like, look at how,
00:46:25.340 what you're doing is making me feel right. Like child play behavior where they're playing like a
00:46:31.820 little pack of wolves, right? They're playing like a sanitized, whatever.
00:46:38.380 Yeah. They're in some terrifying social experiment.
00:46:43.500 Anyway.
00:46:47.100 Thank you for being a low stress based parent. It's great parenting.
00:46:53.100 You are higher stress than I am. And I have to tell you, knock it off sometimes.
00:46:56.380 But I just think that there's something instinctual about mothers. And it really hit me when I watched
00:47:01.500 around this, this past holiday home alone, where like the rest of the family,
00:47:06.780 Kevin McAllister, well, again, the eight year old kid or something is left home alone. His family goes
00:47:10.780 to Paris without him. And they realize they have to go back and get him because they left him home.
00:47:15.660 And the mother goes through the most painful process of going home, bribing people, spending tons of
00:47:22.140 money, begging, riding in a road trip with some kind of polka band. And she gets home ultimately
00:47:30.860 like five minutes before the rest of the family that just took the next available flight that was
00:47:35.820 direct.
00:47:36.300 And that's, you, you, you overwork for every part of parenting and it gets to five minutes
00:47:41.420 earlier.
00:47:42.140 Like she added like 10 years to her life in that experiment and experience and everyone else just
00:47:47.260 did the normal reasonable thing. But I feel like that, that was in the movie and it was meaningful
00:47:52.620 because it really, it encapsulates the plight of the mother where the mother without consent or
00:48:01.660 willingness feels this level of burden and concern and inability to restrain herself and going above
00:48:11.580 and beyond for her kids. Even when it, she logically understands that it doesn't help, but I would say
00:48:18.300 it's a double-edged sword as much as like the weird hormonal shift that makes me love our kids.
00:48:23.660 And that makes me do insane things that aren't actually helpful, but like, I just feel like I have
00:48:28.620 to do them for our kids is, can be damaging. Like Tex just had the worst diaper blowout of his life so
00:48:36.140 far and there was poop everywhere and the, the whole room still smells intensely of it, but you know
00:48:41.420 what it smells like to me? It smells like buttered popcorn. It smells really, because your brain is
00:48:49.580 love the smell of my child's poop. It smells great. It's wonderful. I'm like,
00:48:55.020 it doesn't smell that way to be by the way, but male brains do not rewire.
00:48:58.700 No, but then that's the, that's the point I'm making is it's a double-edged sword. Like the same
00:49:03.260 weird hormonal brainwashing that has taken me over, which we didn't like, I thought I wasn't
00:49:08.620 going to love our kids, right? Like I had no maternal instincts. The same thing that makes me do all this
00:49:13.180 stupid stuff where I fuss over them and I have to braid our girl's hair and you're like, don't do it.
00:49:17.180 It's a waste of time. And I'm like, I have to, I have to get their hair, their clothes just so,
00:49:21.180 and I want them all bundled up and warm and all these things, right? You're like, they don't need
00:49:24.220 it. It's fine. And I have to do it. You're like, you're like, why isn't anyone wearing pants?
00:49:28.460 But you, you can't tolerate the smell of their, their poops. And for some reason,
00:49:34.060 and this doesn't happen to everyone, but it does happen to some people.
00:49:37.980 Like, and they, especially younger kids' poops smell fantastic.
00:49:43.180 Well, no, I've heard, and, and, and, and children's heads, like women really like the smell.
00:49:46.860 No, you, you can smell baby's heads. I actually can't smell that one. And I, I'm very, I bet
00:49:52.860 there's some kind of gene, like, you know how there's like a gene where like, you won't taste
00:49:56.300 the bitterness in broccoli and you can see this new 23andMe and stuff like, oh, you don't taste
00:50:00.620 bitterness. And this is why you can eat pig slop and things like that. Right. But, and, and you,
00:50:05.660 you actually, I think you have the gene and I don't, which is maybe one reason why I eat the slop
00:50:09.580 I eat and you don't and why I like unsweetened chocolate and all these other things. Cause I literally
00:50:13.660 don't taste some element of bitter that you do, but I do think that there's some gene
00:50:19.500 that, that has to do with like being able to smell some kind of pheromone or chemical that infants
00:50:26.300 release from their head. I wouldn't be surprised at all. Yeah. Because you smell it right. And your
00:50:32.620 mom smelled it. I smell it. I'm not like intensely drawn to it, but it's definitely a different and
00:50:37.180 pleasant smell. That's weird. I, I, and I mean, I would tell you, right, if I'm telling you
00:50:42.540 the embarrassing details of it smells like talcum powder is what it smells like. What?
00:50:49.900 Well, I'm glad I smell the poop instead because one, there's a lot more poop.
00:50:53.260 Well, I guess you're always around the babies, but I like, I really like butter popcorn. So it works
00:50:57.580 out. Well, yeah. There's other smells that like smell fantastic. And you're supposed to like gasoline
00:51:02.380 smells fantastic. Oh yes. And everyone pretends like it's this horrible smell. And I'm like,
00:51:07.340 no, no, no. I bet people made gasoline scented candles, which are probably really bad for you,
00:51:15.180 but I hope they've nailed it. That would be fun. Yeah. Yeah. Gasoline.
00:51:20.940 Better than having gasoline. So you can get them in Marvel. They have like a turn-based game that you
00:51:28.940 can get it as a gift, like diesel candles, jet fuel candles was another one, you know, like really?
00:51:35.020 Yeah. So I thought, you know, that it must exist somewhere if it exists in video games, right?
00:51:40.140 That's great. Well, I didn't expect to be talking about this, but I love our conversation so much.
00:51:48.300 And speaking of buttered popcorn, what would you like for dinner? Bulldog?
00:51:53.100 No, I'm, I'm, I'm not feeling well at all. I want something really easy on the stomach.
00:51:57.660 In soup? Do we have pesto? No.
00:52:03.340 How did we go through it so fast? I thought we got some more and we had it one night.
00:52:07.020 So I made from Thai basil, like I have, I have cubes of minced Thai basil and olive oil that I can
00:52:14.540 thaw and saute with noodles. So we have elbows that I, that I made last night. So we have noodles and I
00:52:20.060 can saute noodles and pesto for you if you want. Oh, wow. That could be pretty good actually.
00:52:25.420 I'll, I'll thaw out one of the cubes of the potato basil.
00:52:28.700 Hold on. I'm, I'm, I'm thinking here. Is this going to be, is this going to be like,
00:52:31.660 do I want it with like- Or would you prefer,
00:52:33.180 because you can also have pumpkin soup with Hawaiian bun and American cheese,
00:52:37.180 like you've been eating recently.
00:52:41.180 Yeah. You know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go for more pumpkin soup, especially if you can get another
00:52:45.820 one of the chicken ones. I think we have some more of those. Yeah. So chicken pumpkin
00:52:49.820 soup, Hawaiian bun with cheese or not? Without cheese, open face, toasted.
00:52:54.300 Oh, you just want a plain Hawaiian bun. Yeah. And then I'll scoop it in the soup
00:52:57.660 and it'll taste really good. Ah, scooper super. Yeah. Fine. All right.
00:53:01.900 The pizza you made yesterday was a little undercooked. It wasn't very crispy. So just
00:53:05.020 keep in mind whatever you can do to. Oh, okay. Yeah. I, yeah.
00:53:11.260 It's difficult because I keep giving feedback while I am doing the kids' baths and then like the timing,
00:53:18.220 you know, it's either burnt or it's not cooked well enough because I'm like in between telling
00:53:22.300 the kids often. You okay? Do you want me to, I can just bring dinner to your room so you can just
00:53:27.900 relax. No, no, no, no. Why? Like, is it actually doing you any favors? Yeah. I get to spend time
00:53:35.260 with you and the kids. I can send one of the kids up to hang out with you after. That's a good idea,
00:53:39.660 actually. Yeah. But do you feel worse when I don't spend the night with you?
00:53:42.860 Not if I think you're uncomfortable. So I just want you to be comfortable. So shall I do that?
00:53:50.060 And then I can send any kid if you're, whichever kid is being the nicest, whichever kid consents,
00:53:57.660 we'll send to hang out with you and watch anime. Does that sound good? Yeah. Yeah. What episode
00:54:03.740 do you want to run tomorrow? This one or the other one? I could go with either.
00:54:07.740 What good was yours? I thought yours was really fascinating. I'm so glad because at first I thought
00:54:13.500 it was going to be one of those where like, no one wants to hear this, blah, blah, blah. No,
00:54:16.460 what you want to make the title card is my wife is dissociating. My wife is in a state of perpetual
00:54:24.620 dissociation. And then you're going to be like, I'm not here. I'm not dealing with this.
00:54:30.060 I have to see if like any of the title card photos I've taken of myself could like work for this,
00:54:35.100 would just be being like, oh, so no. And then you could, you could just around yourself with kids,
00:54:40.300 like have all the pictures of the kids. Being crazy. Yeah. Or maybe I can just include like
00:54:49.340 another image of me. So it looks like I'm seeing myself from a distance. I'm not sure. Well,
00:54:54.460 I'll figure it out in my morning days. Like I always do. Sorry. I do have a sore throat or something.
00:55:01.020 So that's also why I'm like, Hey, maybe I shouldn't go down with her. Just, just relax.
00:55:05.100 Just relax in your room. I will bring you a toasted Hawaiian bun. One or two.
00:55:09.260 Two. Do you think it's like maybe really dry and that's why I have it? And I'm not actually like,
00:55:14.380 I can put a humidifier in your room, scented or not. Would you like scents?
00:55:17.900 Yes. I'd like a scented humidifier. That is the level of luxury.
00:55:21.260 You're making me feel so luxurious. A scented humidifier. And I'll work on clearing out all the cardboard.
00:55:27.180 That would be nice. No, what we're going to do is on tomorrow. Oh, but the first of,
00:55:33.820 I have to figure out when trash pickup is, but we'll do it together right now. So I was just going
00:55:38.700 to be taking out trash. Oh, I should clean up my room a bit. I thought you were going to rest.
00:55:45.020 Well, yeah, but because I got the time to rest now, I've also got the time to clean up.
00:55:49.660 Okay. Well, if you're going to clean up, would you mind then ferrying the kids to the kitchen?
00:55:53.340 So I don't have to go out. Oh yeah, sure. Where, when, when do I pick them up? Where do I get them?
00:55:57.020 Anytime now I'm ready to take them. All right. So what, what do I do? Like I call them and I say,
00:56:02.220 yeah, just call, call Stacy and say, you're ready to come pick up the kids and they can start getting
00:56:06.700 like their shoes on and send them down. And then. Okay. They'll make their way over.
00:56:13.500 Are you sure though? Because trash day is not, is, is kind of messed up, I think because of the holiday.
00:56:19.900 And I'm sure if it makes your life easier because you're making my life easier,
00:56:26.220 I have to do it. I mean, it's windy. So I'm a little worried that it's just going to be like
00:56:30.540 blown all over the. It's fine. Put them in the bin. Okay. Okay.
00:56:37.100 What would mean a lot to me is if you ferried the kids to the, to the kitchen for dinner. And also,
00:56:44.060 if you could see, I'm checking right now to see if the console has been, they have a package. Yes.
00:56:49.660 There is a package outside our fence that I'd really love for you to bring in. And then
00:56:54.540 I will bring your dinner to you and you can relax and do nothing after that. If that works for you,
00:56:58.700 we have a deal. We have a deal, a deal, a deal. Our kids love making deals. This is how I forced my
00:57:06.220 wife into these horrible, degrading conditions she lives in. What? By like handling trash and subzero
00:57:14.940 conditions. But you're letting me do it. Oh, I'm letting you. What a privilege.
00:57:23.100 I'll be reading my Korea romance manga. So like, you don't even need to worry.
00:57:27.500 You must see what the sociopathic empress does next. Who will she feed to the dogs?
00:57:32.780 I love it. I want more evil. I do not like the, the ones where they turn good. I like them to stay
00:57:40.380 a bit evil. This is, this is what I'm here for. The vengeance. Not, not even evil because she's not
00:57:46.700 like, she's just really cruel to people who were cruel to her before the timeline.
00:57:50.940 She's just effective. Okay. She just makes it right. She, she's the finisher. I like it.
00:57:56.140 A finisher. Yeah. Yeah. She like mildly regrets in the last life that she had one of her
00:58:02.540 friends' tongues ripped out. And I was like, you are intense that you're just like, yeah,
00:58:07.100 that was probably not my best move. Yeah. Thanks. They're much better things to remove.
00:58:12.540 Have a good one, Simone. Love you, Malcolm. Love you too.
00:58:17.900 Are you reading Korean manga? Of course. It's important that I understand. It's your stories.
00:58:25.100 You need villainous. Yeah. This is so, this is a good one. This is one where the main character is
00:58:31.420 truly sociopathic. And I love those. Yeah. They're really a villainous. She, um.
00:58:37.100 Actually villainous. Not just a victim.
00:58:40.060 Well, one of, one of the maids who she said she'd, she'd protect if they betrayed someone,
00:58:44.300 she fed to dogs. And the other maid thought she was so nice because they thought that she had helped
00:58:48.940 the maid escape rather than pointlessly after her story was basically done. Well,
00:58:53.500 fed her to wolves. Okay. And I'm like, yeah, that's what I'm looking for in a villainous.
00:58:58.540 I want a wife who does not let stuff slide. You know, you gotta, you gotta tie up all the loose
00:59:05.580 ends. I really, I really see her perspective on things. Professor, we'd have to like cook the human meat.
00:59:12.860 Would not. Yeah. Horrible. Yeah. But cause I, you know, like there've been some, some nights where
00:59:20.300 I'm like, oh, this is an amazing cut of meat. Like it's really like, like you can even eat it as
00:59:24.860 we were recently gifted, like incredibly high quality meat that we could have probably eaten
00:59:29.740 raw certain cuts of it. And I shared one with her and she was like, what is this? Like, why is this not
00:59:35.260 sauteed in butter? Excuse me. She's so funny. And then I went to take it away. She's like, no,
00:59:41.180 no, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. You are the wackiest. But this is so thematic, Malcolm.
00:59:49.100 And I'm like, so relieved because for the past four days, Tex has been super constipated. Like
00:59:54.260 to the point where he, he hasn't been eating because there's no room. And then he'll like
00:59:58.340 get really irritable every two hours. And I'm like getting up all night to, cause normally he'd be
01:00:03.100 kind of sleeping through the night at this point. But yeah, I just, then this morning there were tiny
01:00:07.900 little tiny little poops. And I was like, Oh, this is like right before Mount Vesuvius came,
01:00:12.380 you know, like it blew up at like little earthquakes and stuff. And it was like, what's going on?
01:00:16.860 Huh? And then it happened. The big one, it hit, it was all the way up his back, but almost to his neck,
01:00:23.900 almost to his neck. Yeah. It blew. He blew, but now he will hopefully be able to sleep at night and eat
01:00:31.900 again. And he's less, I was doing all the things I was doing the stomach massages, the leg, the leg
01:00:37.020 thingies and the, you know, but it wasn't, it wasn't.
01:00:41.260 You know, what's up? You're such a good mother. Well, look at him. He's still alive. I'm, I'm shocked.
01:00:46.860 He's been, yeah, it was touch and go there in the early days.
01:00:50.300 Yeah. Well, he still has a big divot in his chest from where the tube was in.
01:00:55.660 It makes me so sad. Every time it makes me so sad. Sure. But I didn't ask for your consent.
01:01:02.380 I just did it. She just saved your life. So that's horrible. Yeah.
01:01:05.980 No, to change his typer just now, since that's what we're talking about. Right.
01:01:10.300 What are we talking about? Yeah. Bring it, bring it home.
01:01:12.940 A fan who lived in our area actually dropped these off at our house.
01:01:16.380 Think so. Okay, guys, let's find out what it was.
01:01:19.420 I want, I want to eat. What do you mean? Yeah. What is it, you guys?
01:01:26.380 Baby! I, I, see, I saw something. I saw something that is fun.
01:01:31.980 I don't know. Hey, I'm gonna take it out. There's, there's no books. What books?
01:01:42.060 Oh, tasty.
01:01:43.020 I want to have it. Oh my gosh, look at how shiny it is. What?
01:01:49.980 There's a point of dinosaurs for you. Dinosaurs? Dinosaurs? Oh my gosh, you guys.
01:02:01.900 What? Show me. Oh my gosh, these are such cool books. Look at these books.
01:02:08.940 What books? I want to have it. Yes? I want to have it. Wow. Let me see.
01:02:19.180 Wow.